Spice on the wind

by xscar10

once bitten

Author's note: Am I the only one who can't stop reading Fluttershy's lines in her voice?

As I awoke I noticed something wasn't where it was supposed to be. It seemed that I had woken up at someone else's home. After you Pinkie party, feels a lot like after you get hit by a truck going 80... and craving sweets. I wiped my face, and tried with difficulty to open my eyes.
I was on Fluttershy's couch. I stand up, and brush my drool from the side of my face, reluctantly noticing that I am in my boxers. I look around the room, and try to remember the night before, one sign of a good party I'm told. I look down to see Angel with his paws crossed.
"Hey Angel, do you know where my clothes are?" I asked, rubbing my chin. Before I knew it Angel had tossed a pan at my head. I shook my head, and glared down at him. I put on a soft smile, and got down on my knee.
"You know Angel, we humans eat rabbits." I said letting an ominous smile creep across my face. At first he wasn't fazed but after I licked my lips he started to crack. My evil laugh set him over the edge and he ran off. I'd wanted to do that since I saw him slap Fluttershy in putting your hoof down.
After Angel left I stood up and walked into the kitchen. Fluttershy stood there cooking breakfast; her usual smile dawning her face.
"Morning Fluttershy." I said, and she squeaked.
"O-oh, good morning. Did my singing wake you? I'm sorry." She said, and turned back to the refrigerator.
"No, I didn't even hear you singing, and even if I had, your voice is soft and soothing, it would have put me back to sleep." I said, looking around the room.
"Oh you're too kind." She said, putting a plate in front of me.
"By the way, do you know what happened to my clothes?" I asked, and Fluttershy put her hoof to her mouth.
"Well, you see. You had spilled a lot of cider on yourself, so I took them off you to clean them." She answered, I couldn't help but feel weird. I had been undressed by a girl I'd met just days ago.
"So I guess that cider really is alcoholic." I rubbed my head as I could hear my pulse in my ears pounding incessantly.
"Well how else would it froth at the top like it does?" Fluttershy asked, and it was a good question, one I didn't have the answer to.
I started to eat, thinking about how hard it was when each chew was so loud in my head. As we finished eating Fluttershy walked me outside where my clothes hung on a wire.
"Thanks for washing them for me, honestly I don't know how I got along without all of you." At times like this I really didn't.
"You don't have to thank me, you already did yesterday." She said with a blush.
"I did?" I said, not remembering much from last night.
"Yes you gave me the most wonderful massage. I told you you didn't have to, but you insisted." She said, rubbing her hoof against her leg.
"Hmm... Well I'm not sure what to think of that." I said, mostly to myself.
"Well you did have a lot of drinks, and apparently you're an affectionate drunk." She trotted up beside me as I slid my pants on. That was good to know, but just what I was thinking with the massage was beyond me.
"What exactly all happened last night?" I asked, rubbing my temples and trying to subside the pain.
"Mostly we were just having fun is all, but then you started an, oh what did you call it, arm wrestling competition." She answered recalling the events from last night. "You beat everyone except Big mac." She said, and I thought "Dang... Still not strong enough to beat Big Mac. If I didn't know better I'd think he's from Texas..." but shook my head.
"Twilight told everyone where you came from, and then you got into double arm wrestling ponies." She said as I put on the fantastic jacket. "After that you broke out into song with Pinkie." Fluttershy sat beside me.
"Wait... I sang? Oh good God almighty... please tell me I wasn't embarrassingly bad." I facepalmed.
"No not at all, you were quite good out there with Pinkie. Everyone was cheering ." She looked up at me.
"What did I sing about?" I slipped on my gloves.
"I think I can recall a few lines." She cleared her throat.

She sang it in an such an upbeat tone, it was heard to believe I'd thought of it.
"Wow, that was better than I'd expect from me." I let out a light laugh.
"You don't give yourself enough credit. You really are quite talented." Fluttershy patted my leg.
"Maybe you're right, but I know my singing is bad." I shook my head, walking back inside. A couple of squirrels ran by me, hiding somewhere among the many stowaways in the house.
"I think you sounded terrific." Fluttershy walked up behind me.
"Weird..." I said, looking the room over.
"You don't sound weird at all." Fluttershy meekly protested.
"No, not that. I just... I non't know. I think I'm forgetting something." I said, and no sooner than I finished, my ears started ringing. Fluttershy was saying something, but it was muffled, but I could see her lips moving. My own coughing sounded just as muffled; like I was under water. It stopped as suddenly as it started.
"A-are you sick? That cough sounded terrible!" Fluttershy flew up and put a hoof on my forehead.
"I'm fine. Everyone worries at the slightest cough." I reached up and held her hooves.
"Nonsense. I know when an animal sounds sick, and that was not healthy." She said, shaking her head.
"Now you sit down while I make you some soup." I'd almost forgotten about assertive Fluttershy, she was still cute and attentive, but you'll do what she says one way or another. So to avoid the 'another' option, I sat down on the couch.
"Alright, you know best I guess." I reply.There was the sound of shuffling pots in the kitchen. My ears started ringing again, and I covered my mouth, trying to keep my coughing quiet, maybe Fluttershy wouldn't hear it. As I pulled my head up, it looked my hands were covered in a grey liquid. I turned my head to the kitchen seeing the blurred image of Fluttershy walking toward me. I look back down at my hands to see the liquid gone.
"Is something wrong?" Fluttershy's voice was clear as crystal.
"Nothing, I was just wondering what else happened yesterday." I lied, in reality I was thinking about how my hallucinations.
"Oh, -ahem- that reminds me. You did something else at the party worth mentioning." She slid the bowl in front of me, and looked off to the side.
"What would that be?" I asked taking a spoonful and sipping it.
"You... Umm... Well... kissed Rarity." She said, and I nearly swallowed my spoon.
"I did what?" I asked under my breath.
"You made a bet that you could drink more cider than Pinkie and lost. So you had to kiss Rarity." She blushed lightly, scratching the floor with her hoof.
I have now officially kissed two ponies... what that means exactly I have no idea. At that I asked myself; is it wrong to like a sentient species besides your own? Added the fact that it's in the form of a known animal species. All in all, I think it's the mind that matters, and their minds are in fact the same as a human's. I doubted for a moment on my own decisions, but I digress.
"So I've kissed two ponies now... Back home, the things they would call me." I shook my head laughing at the thought.
"Two?" Fluttershy asked, and I felt the need to explain myself.
"Yes, there was an incident in which an impromptu race became a kiss with Rainbow-Dash." I cleared my throat anxiously.
"Oh. Oh my..." Fluttershy covered her mouth with a hoof, her face flushing profusely.
"It was probably just because my sweat had given me such a strong scent." I said waving my hands in front of me.
"I-it's perfectly fine. I'm sure you're right." The look on her face was that unmistakable look of someone who's happy... for you. It was painful really, I couldn't just sit there.
"Both instances were caused by a form of intoxication." I said sitting on the floor beside her.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm your friend after all." She said, her smile was adorable, you'd just want to pick her up and give her a hug. I wanted to myself, but it would have been awkward given the context. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Excuse me a moment." Fluttershy trotted over to the door, and I decided to walk into the kitchen. I heard the door open, and then a voice.
"Good evening madame. I was wondering if you might have seen someone around this area, you see I'm searching for an old friend of mine." Said the voice, it sounded deep, suave, but 'unpolished' as if it were a voice forced upon him.
"A friend? Well there are lots of animals around here, what did your friend look like?" Fluttershy asked in her soft delicate sounding voice.
"Oh he's quite unmistakable. He would stick out like a sore hoof here in Ponyville." The voice said, and I go the feeling he was looking for me, but I wasn't sure just yet, especially since I didn't know whoever it was at the door.
"You wouldn't happen to be looking for a human would you?" Fluttershy asked, and a lump formed in my throat.
"Yes, a human. So you have seen him." The voice said, the tone seemed more foreboding.
"Yes I have, h-he was here not so long ago." She said, needless to say I was confused; what reason would Fluttershy have to lie?
"Do you know in which direction he might have gone?" Every sentence he said seemed to grow more... sinister.
"He didn't say, b-but I think he might have gone out on a job." She answered, her voice grew more uneasy.
"Right, his 'Taskmaster' service, I heard about that. Thank you for your assistance, it was much appreciated. Have a nice day." He said, and the door closed. I peeked around the corner to see Fluttershy shivering and staring at the door.
"Who was it?" I ask, walking up to her. Without a moment's hesitation, she flew up an buried her face in my chest. She cried lightly, squeaking out a stream of words indistinguishable from her sobs.
"Whoa, hey, it's ok. Just tell me what's wrong." I said, wrapping my arms around her letting her rest her wings.
"I-I-I could feel it, in his eyes." She said soaking my jacket with her tears.
"Everything's fine, he can't hurt you. I'm here." I whispered softly, carrying her over to the couch.
"They were like fire..." She said her muzzle buried in my chest.
"He's gone, you're safe now." I petted her behind her ears, it seemed to comfort her. After a long moment she looked up at me with those captivating light blue eyes.
"Do you really know him?" She asked, the words pleaded me to say no.
"No, but he apparently knows me." I said, my hand running through her hair.
"That pony was evil." She said with such certainty, it was likely because she was so terrified, but what about one pony could have been so scary?
"What was so scary about him anyhow?" I ask as I pet her.
"I-I don't know. I could just feel it. In the air, in his smile, his voice." She recalled, it looked painful for her.
"Maybe I should go after him?" I thought out loud, and felt a tug on my jacket.
"Please don't leave me." She was on the brink of tears again.
"Shh, don't worry, I won't go anywhere." I sat there holding her, we didn't even speak. After she had calmed down, she brought her head back up, and smiled at me.
"Thank you for staying with me." She said, her voice quivering lightly.
"It's the least I could do." I said, with my typical warm smile. Her cheeks burned red, and her eyelids got heavy. The look was familiar, I'd seen it before. It was only confirmed by her leaning in. But how would I react to it? I noticed everything getting gradually darker, my eyes are closing. I'm leaning in. Am I really going to... Before I even finish the thought, i could feel her soft lips meet mine. she tasted sweet, like strawberries. Her lips subtly parted, and the taste was even more pronounced on her tongue. Our tongues danced together gracefully. I felt her hoof press on my chest, as she slowly pulled away. I opened my eyes at the same moment as her, and her face was as red as the setting sun.
"I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to! I mean... I did but-" Her voice became little more than a squeak.
"No, no, it's ok, it takes two to tango." I said, and when she looked up at me I realized they probably don't tango here...
"It's not like you did anything wrong." I said, rubbing my thumb to my chin.
"But... what about Rainbow-Dash?" She asked, the question has probably been bothering her for a while, but it didn't even dawn on me. The look on my face must have changed, because her's was one of confirmation. What exactly did this kiss mean; what did the one with Dash mean? At least with the one with Rarity I had an excuse, but even then Rarity still let me kiss her. So what did any of this mean? I wish I had time to contemplate it, but I had to answer Fluttershy.
"My kiss with Dash was completely due to my scent." I tried to find an excuse, but Fluttershy was smart.
"Does she know that?" Four words that shot my logic down.
"I'm not sure." I leaned on my elbow, trying to come to grips with the meaning of each kiss.
"Maybe you should go ask them how she feels." She suggested, an understanding smile on her face. I was glad she knew how I was feeling, it gave me some solace.
"How do you feel?" I asked her, and she shook her head.
"I need some time to think, like you do." She said hopping down from the couch. She walked out into her yard, probably to tend to her animals. I sat on her couch for quite a while, before taking her advice, and heading out to find Rainbow-Dash. It doesn't take long to find her though, I mean a floating house with a rainbow waterfall kind of sticks out. Only problem... I can't fly. How am I supposed to get up there? Then I thought, I don't need to get up there, I just need her attention.
So I headed into Ponyville, found Vinyl Scratch's house. I asked if I could borrow a couple amps, and while I was there I borrowed a couple mics and a guitar she had lying around. I knew Dash loved rock, so if she was within earshot, she was going to show up. This was also the perfect time to test my theories about the magic surrounding the songs of this world. I set up the amps in town square with the mic and guitar. I stated the sound test, and everything sounded great. I started to play a few notes on the guitar and it sounded good. I actually didn't know much about playing the guitar, but I knew enough to make music.
"I really hope I can sing when I'm not drunk." I said as a last note. I start playing a slow progression I had learned from a friend of mine.

After the first few lines it just seemed to come naturally to me. I'm lucky there was magic, or that would have been terrible. I open my eyes to see a crowd gathered around, with Pinkie in the front row naturally.
"Whoo! Yeah! Encore!" She yelled, as they stomped their hooves. I set the guitar down, and bowed, it was then I noticed a cloud overhead, with Rainbow-Dash, and Derpy on it. I wave up to them, and Derpy waved back, with one eye on me and the other off into the sky somewhere. As the crowd started to slowly dissipate, I hopped down off the stage. Pinkie came up to me with a grin from ear to ear.
"That was fantastic! You really blew them away, not that I wasn't blown away too, but still that performance was amazing! I wish I could listen to it again and again and again and again, but I can't which is too bad, but I'm glad I got to hear it once, and now I can always remember it! Do you think tha-" Pinkie chattered on until I finally interrupted her.
"Pinkie, calm down, it was good, but not that good." I patted her head.
"What are you talking about?! That was amazing! Where did you learn to sing like that?" Needless to say Pinkie was excited.
"I didn't, I used to sing badly, and I still think I do, but any improvement is because of magic." I walked out in front of the stage.
"Poppycock! Ooo~ I like that word! Poppycock poppycock poppycock poppycock pickle barrel kumquat poppycock!" Pinkie hoped around, and I shook my head with a laugh.
"Dude, nice singing, that goes for last night too." Dashes voice came from behind me.
"That's what they tell me." I said, turning around to face her.
"So big guy, what's with the concert?" She asked, flying at about eye level.
"I was just testing out a theory, and it worked." I said, and shrugged.
"More egghead stuff? Ah, you should be focusing on training." She hovered up above me.
"Maybe you're right, I could stand to be a little stronger." I said scratching my head.
"Alright! You're coming with me!" She zipped over, grabbed my arm, and pulled me forward.
"Hey wait!" Pinkie said, and we both stopped.
"I wanted to ask you if you had some time to help me out over at Sugar Cube Corner." She said, grabbing my leg.
"I'm sure I have enough time for both of you. I'll head over to Sugar Cube Corner right after training, ok?" I gave Pinkie a sympathetic look, and she put both fore-hooves to her head.
"Pinkie promise?" She said, covering her eye.
"Pinkie promise." I mirrored her.
"Alright, that's settled, now let's go! We don't have all day!" Dash said, pulling me away. Pinkie and I waved goodbye to each other; I could see her gleefully hopping away as I left.
"So where exactly are we headed?" I asked, as she pulled me out toward a construction sight.
"We're here." She said, as we stopped at a half built building.
"Here?" I arched my brow, not sure what to think.
"You can show of your skills with those hands and feet." She said, and as I looked around the building I saw lots of hanging chains, sturdy beams, I could really get moving in a place like that. Back on earth I wouldn't even think about it, but now I'm jumping at the chance.
"I see, but what will you do?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"I'm going to, uh... coach you!" She nodded, with a smug smile.
"Well shouldn't you be training too?" I asked, taking off my jacket.
"I will, I'll be alongside you the whole time." She flew alongside me, I think she prefers to stay at eye level with me.
"Flying alongside while I climb? Hardly a workout." I said with a smirk.
"Fine, I won't use my wings then!" She leered me a look that said 'challenge accepted'.
"You think you can climb better than an ape?" I wasn't surprised, like a wise man once said "one part brave, three parts fool". She was a proud little mare.
"Think? I know." She had guts, I'll give her that, but how was she even going to compete? I had a clear advantage.
"Alright... If you're up to it." I said taking off my shoes and gloves.
"Go!" She said, and darted off, I couldn't believe I didn't see it coming. I turned and hopped up grabbing onto a chain, and started pulling myself up. Dash was climbing a separate chain, and had a surprising speed for one with no hands. I thought it would be ok to show off some, so I started to swing on the chain. I pulled a Tarzan, and swung from chain to chain, landing on the girder above. I took the time to look down to Dash, who's mouth was agape. She shortly remembered, and started to climb double time. It felt kind of liberating doing all that climbing, the occasional flip just to show off. I kind of felt like Spider-man.
I swung myself around on the chains with a primal feeling power, the kind of power that made you want to beat your chest like a gorilla. Dash wasn't as far behind as I thought she'd be, but I was having a good time about ten stories up. I jumped from a beam, and reached out to grab a chain, when the world started to blur, and my ears rang. I coughed violently, completely aware of my plummeting, and felt panic rush through me. I knew I was falling, and if I didn't stop myself, I wouldn't have to worry about talking with Dash.
About half way down a girder hit my chest, I bounced off, and fell straight to the ground. My back hit the ground, and all I could hear was the muffled voice of Rainbow-Dash's voice. I opened my eyes, and spots filled my vision. At least I knew I was alive, I was in to much pain to be dead. How did I survive a ten story fall? That girder must have crushed my ribs. I'd have to be dead right? No one's that strong. Everything drifted out of focus and into darkness.
I could hear voices, some I recognized others I didn't. There was a moment of silence, before I heard them speak again. "I think he's waking up." It was a familiar mare voice, but which one?
"I think he might just be stirring." Said another mare.
"Well why don't we just wake him up? I'm sure he'd be more than happy we did once he sees what we got him!" That one I knew for sure was Pinkie.
"He needs his rest. If we wake him up we don't know how he'd react." That was Twilight.
"I really hope he's ok..." That was Fluttershy.
"You seem awfully quiet Rainbow-Dash; Is everything alright?" That was Rarity.
"No, no I'm not. This was my fault. He was up there because of me. He's hurt because of me." Dash said, her voice seemed to quiver at the last word.
"Now ya can't blame yourself for this." Applejack said.
"Watch me." Dash replied, and I couldn't hold back a chuckle, which hurt like nopony's business.
"He laughed! He's awake!" Pinkie said, and I could feel my bed move slightly. Everypony in the room was making noises of relief, or anxiety. I opened my eyes and everything seemed much to bright. I looked off to the side, and see Dash sitting by the window not even facing me. I look down and see Pinkie standing over me. Past her are the other four standing at the foot of the bed.
"Did anyone get the number of that train?" I asked, laying my head back down. Twilight walked waled up beside me.
"The doctor said you've broken eight ribs. I don't know how you survived an ten story fall, but count yourself lucky." She said, her eyes looked both concerned and relieved.
"Now can we tell him?!" Pinkie stood over me.
"Yes Pinkie, go on." Twilight said, rolling her eyes with a laugh.
"Here!" Pinkie held out a book to me. I took it and read the cover.
"Etiquette and mannerisms of the royal family?" I said a little confused.
"Well, you are going to need it after all." Rarity came up beside Twilight.
"Cause you're gettin' a visit from tha Princess!" AJ said coming alongside Rarity.
"After Twilight's latest letter about you, she replied saying she was coming just to meet you!" Fluttershy said, coming up on my other side. I sat up, aching all the while.
"Really? What changed her mind?" I asked, now taking the book.
"I don't know, I think she just moved you up on her agenda." Twilight said with a shrug.
"Well whatever it is, I'm meeting the most powerful pony in the world... It's more intimidating than it sounds." I said opening the book.
"So anyways, hope you get better soon. Let's go girls, he has reading to do." Said Twilight, turning and walking away.
"But... Did his crash give him super duper spider powers?" Asked Pinkie, hopping down off the bed.
"Honestly Pinkie, why do you always ask that?" Applejack shook her head.
"It's bound to happen eventually, I just know it!" Pinkie hopped out the door.
"Goodbye, be sure and get your rest." Fluttershy, followed after them.
"Be sure and pick up your jacket on the way home, I went and had it dry-cleaned." Rarity said, on her way out as well.
I was soon alone with my book and Dash.
"So... something you wanted to talk about?" I asked opening up the book.
Dash was silent.
"No, it's ok. You don't have to say anything." I said as I started to read. "We can just sit quietly if you'd like." I said, glancing over to her, she was still looking out the window. I just kept reading the book. She was blaming herself for me getting hurt, dealing with the guilt, it was best to let her go at her own speed.
The room was quiet for about an hour. I just kept reading, waiting for her to say anything.
"Do you hate me?" She finally asked, out of the blue.
"Hate you? Now why would I ever hate you?" I asked, not stopping to look up from the page.
"I'm the whole reason you're here." I could hear her hooves on the tile coming closer.
"I'm here because of my own negligence. You were just racing me, and I slipped up." I said it as smoothly as I could, keeping the blame on me.
"You know that's not true. I heard the coughing, this time and last time." She said, and I closed the book with a sigh.
"Look, I knew I was sick before I started the race; I took the risk, and paid the price. You are not at fault here." I turned to her; her eyes now teary, and red.
"That's not a good look for you." I said jokingly. It made her smile. "Look... even if it were your fault, and it's not; I'm fine. I'm a little banged up, but if I remember correctly you were in the same position not so long ago... with a different book mind you." I said, holding the book up.
"How did you-" She started, but shook it off. "Never mind, thanks for cheering me up." She said, wiping her eyes and smiling.
"Now that looks good on you." I said arching my brow jokingly.
"Shut up!" She punched my arm. We both laughed.
"By the way. I was wondering. About that... moment we had after the race..." I said, and scratched my chin.
"Oh! You know about that? I thought you were out cold!" Her face turned from blue to bright red.
"Wait... out cold?" I said, wondering what she was talking about.
"Wait... you meant last time?" She gulped.
"Yeah, what did you-" I started.
"Oh nothing! Anyways, what about last time?" She interrupted, chuckling awkwardly, and clearing her throat.
"Anyways... as I was saying. After our race we had that, you know, moment..." I said, and rubbed the back of my head.
"You mean the kiss?" She wasn't awkward about it at all, unlike me.
"Yeah, that... What did it mean?" I asked, probably sounding like an idiot.
"What? They don't kiss where you're from?" She asked, her eyes a little wider than usual.
"No we do, but I was wondering what it meant... to you." I tried to be more specific.
"Oh. Umm...I like you. What else would it mean?" She asked, with a confused laugh.
"Hmm... how do I put it..." I thought for a moment. "You see, with humans, we completely guide our romantic relationships through communication. We have to actually ask and tell each other what stage we're at. So, I'm really confused as to what exactly that kiss meant. Whether it was just a kiss, or if we actually are in a relationship." I explained, trying to make as much sense as possible.
"Oh... umm... well... Do you, I don't know... want to be in a relationship?" She asked, trying to look as cool as possible, but her face betraying her with a blush.
"...Uh...Sure." I chuckled, and her face lit up, and quickly resumed her cool expression.
"Sooo... I guess we're dating then." She said, and looked up to me.
"Oh yeah; that reminds me. I should tell you I kissed Rarity." I said, picking the book back up.
"I know, I was there at the party." She said. "A dare's a dare." She shrugged.
"Alright... and I also kissed Fluttershy." I said, and she derped for a moment.
"Wait what?" She didn't seem to register what I said.
"I kissed Fluttershy too." I said opening the book.
"Why'd you kiss her?!" She flew up onto the bed with me.
"It's hard to explain, it was in the middle of a moment; she leaned, I leaned we kissed, it was over. She even tried to apologize, but I told her it wasn't her fault." I said, and Dash stood beside my face. She stood there, scrutinizing my story internally for a while.
"Alright... seems innocent enough, and we weren't dating yet... so you get a warning." She said, pointing her nose up. I gave her a look that said "forgive me?", and she stood in the position, mulling it over. She finally let out a sigh, and wrapped her hooves around me. It hurt my ribs, but I was still happy. I looked down, giving her a pained smile, and she gave me a peck on the lips.
"Wait... Since I told you about that. Now you tell me what you did while I was out." I said, giving a sly smile through my pain.
"Whoops! Look at the time, gotta go!" She said flying straight up, and out the door.
"There goes my Marefriend..." I said, laughing at the statement. Nothing else happened the rest of the day, so I read the whole book, and got to sleep.