When Luna’s awareness returned to the mindscape, she found herself staring a dark grey version of Crystal Note, tears running down her muzzle. Luna could see clearly that these tears were different from the ones the crystal unicorn had shed before. When before sadness and loss seemed prominent, now there was only shame and guilt shrouding Crystal Note's thoughts and colouring her coat in dark colours.
Luna did not have the right words at this moment, so she just remained silent. She did, however, close the distance and sit next to the crying mare. Eventually, Crystal Note took a shaky breath and words tumbled out
"I'm just like him. Worse than him. I just stole food from them and treated them miserably. I…”
“Enough.”
Luna’s sharp word cut into Crystal Note’s rambling and a stomp of her hoof on the floor prevented any more words from the distraught mare
“You cannot and you will not take the blame your creator brought on himself. I will not allow you to wallow in self-inflicted pain.”
Crystal Note openly stared at Luna who just stared ahead and tried to calm her breath. This outburst had been far more emotional than she wished for it. Carefully choosing her words, Luna continued
“What you did was wrong. Condemnable? Perhaps, but I don’t know for certain. But, I know your actions were born out of desperation. Those usually lack the wisdom necessary to see clearly. In a moment when you felt helpless, you fell to methods and behaviour you’ve never once shown before, in vain hope it’d help you achieve any improvement. I cannot look you in the eye and say it would not matter. However, I want you to understand, however you hurt those ponies and caused their hunger, you could have fallen far worse.”
Crystal Note had been silent during Luna’s speech but her tears kept running down her muzzle and her ears flopped down even further
“How could I have done any worse? I attacked innocent ponies, belittled them and intimidated them so they’d give me what I want. Just like my father did all the time. I turned into the pony I never wanted to be.”
Luna sighed deeply
“Again, I disagree. You acted like your creator, yes. But there still is a distinct difference between that stallion and you.
Even in your lowest, you acted to save your family. Yes, choosing the ones you love to be fed over others is self-centred. Yes, Sour Berry and the shop owner were victims to your anger and rage. But you still put down your father’s needs over your own. You did not attack the shop owner when he refused. You did not strike the stallion Sour Berry when he was down, even though I could see in your eyes you wanted to. You did not send the guards after them. You did not find any satisfaction in what you did.”
Crystal Note nodded slowly, her tears had stopped by now but her whole posture stayed cowered down in defeat and her dark grey colours refused to fade.
She whispered in a pained and weak voice
“But I still did all of it. I can’t make it undone. I can’t take back what I said.”
Luna’s frustration grew as the mare once more refused to see any redemption for her own mind and instead tunnelled exclusively on the mistakes she did.
As much as she wanted to shout at Crystal Note right now, Luna forced out calm and collected words
“You refused to have a share of the food you stole. Why?”
“I didn’t deserve any.”
“Why?”
Luna had expected Crystal Note’s immediate answer. Crystal Note however did not expect for her obvious reason to be questioned
“Because… because it was wrong to steal the food in the first place. And because Rose Quartz and Dad needed that food more than me.”
Luna allowed herself a sly grin
“Oh? Remorse and regretting your wrongful actions? And then compassion for others? Are you telling me that’s exactly what you felt?”
Crystal Note’s cheeks darkened from a blush but she nodded, confused and utterly lost how Luna could find anything other than despise at what she had done.
The princess went on with yet another question that cut into the core
“Has your creator ever shown remorse for abusing his power? Has he, only once, apologized for throwing you around with his magic?”
Crystal Note opened her mouth to answer but words wouldn’t make it out for a while. With her eyes locked on the floor in front of her hooves, she shook her head
“No. No to both. But…”
Before Crystal Note could say anything, Luna pushed further ahead
“Did your creator ever help anypony beside himself?”
Crystal Note shook her head and felt a hoof pushing up her chin. She gasped as she found Princess Luna staring intensely into her eyes, the blue orbs of the alicorn almost glowing in the dark and penetrating her thoughts with their image. In a voice that, combined with such a stare, demanded nothing but sincerest truth, Luna called out one final question
“Did you turn into such a pony?”
Crystal Note stared as Luna’s eyes held her captive and urged out a single word within a beat of her heart
“No.”
Luna’s smile returned and the intensity of her stare faded. The glow changed from force to compassion when she saw Crystal Note’s eyes widen in realization. She collapsed and blinked with fresh tears in her eyes. Any self-pity that had been in her was flushed away in a wave of remorse and guilt. Crystal Note felt bad for what she had done, even if it was a millennium too late, it sent bitter tears running down her face. Luna was there to catch her and guide her head against the taller alicorn’s shoulder as sobs shuddered through her throat
“I never meant to do it. I never meant those things I said. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”
Luna’s wings unfurled from her flanks and carefully wrapped around the shivering mare
“I know you are, Crystal Note. I know how you feel. It is no excuse for your behaviour, but you were desperate enough to try anything. But that desperation did not take hold of you. It did not change you from the pony you are.
It’s a lesson best learned the hard way, Crystal Note. We cannot make things undone, no matter how much we regret them. But as long as we do not give up on ourselves, we can still strive to correct our mistakes. And even if we can’t, we at least try to make up for it, if only for learning our errors and preventing them from ever happening again.
As long as we don’t give up hope, there will always be another way.”
Crystal Note buried her muzzle into Luna’s shoulder, but the Princess could feel her nod
“I’ll find them. And I’ll apologize. I’ll do all I can. I promise.”
Luna nodded and tightened her embrace for a couple of moments. When she pulled back again, Crystal Note was still coloured in a dull grey, but some of the shine had returned to her eyes. Luna gave another nod of appreciation and acceptance.
With a sigh of relief, Crystal Note’s closed eyes for a moment. When they reopened, a wave of water seemed to run down her body, washing away the grey and dull colours and turning them back into the silvery-white that reflected the light of the memory orbs glowing and glittering all around her. Despite having regained her emotional balance, worry was prominent on Crystal Note’s face
“I’ll feel desperate again, won't I?”
"Yes. Undoubtedly so. Maybe not for such reasons as you did before, but it's unlikely you'll never again feel helpless or hopeless as long as you live."
Crystal Note took a shaky breath and turned to Luna, like a school filly would stare at her teacher
“How can I make sure I won’t hurt others again when it happens?”
Luna sighed deeply and her eyes closed down. That question in particular was what caused the princess many hours of lost sleep
“I don’t know. I’ve thought long and hard about this, and in the end an easy answer eludes me. I’m beginning to doubt it even exists.”
Luna felt a soft touch, Crystal Note reached out with her hoof when she heard the doubts in the Luna’s voice that seemed to go far deeper
“Princess..?”
Luna’s eyes snapped open again and turned to lock on the gem-shaped ones. This time they held no force to them, the wisdom and calmness from before replaced by the slightest hesitation for just a moment. Then, Luna got hold of her conflicted emotions again and forced her posture into a confident one. Crystal Note’s eyes gave her no indication if she had seen this emotional stumble, but for the sake of helping the crystal unicorn, Luna pushed away any doubts from her voice
“I believe you need to find an answer to this for yourself. Whatever I can tell you, it will not be anything but a starting step of a long and windy road you need to travel on. How far or how long, I cannot say.
What I can say is this: You cannot give up looking for such an answer. Your past is where you find clues, but nothing more. Don’t dismiss these hints, but do focus on your presence as well.”
Luna frowned, unsatisfied with herself as she could only offer vague idioms instead of hard, reliable facts. She started walking along the brightly illuminated hallway of the mindscape again, her hooves restless. Crystal Note walked next to her, silently and lost in thought of what she had been told.
She looked up again when her surroundings suddenly grew dark again. What she saw made her gasp in fear, a feeling Luna well understood considering what she could see in front of her.
In the hallway that represented the crystal unicorn’s mind, there was a sudden end. Even the light of the memory orbs couldn’t penetrate the dark abyss that opened in front of her, everything just ended abruptly in less than a few feet of where she was standing. The edges of the nothingness were rough, uneven. The fabric of the world seemed to be just ripped apart by a forceful, unclean cut. Crystal Note’s eyes opened wide when she realized what she was looking at and a nod from Luna confirmed her right.
What she saw was a wound. A scar, in the middle of her own mind.
Luna stepped forward until she was almost touching the very edge of it, Crystal Note didn’t dare getting closer herself. There was a constant shiver in her form right now and she couldn’t find any words appropriate of this situation. Luna didn’t need to be asked and offered the mare an explanation
“Magic caused this, dark and powerful. But also uncontrolled, wielded by a pony with no practice of what he was doing. The magic is long gone, but it left behind a mark, as any dark magic would. It always comes at a cost, but this time it was the victim who had to pay.”
Crystal Note’s shivering increased as she grasped the meaning of Luna’s words. The only pony who could have cast a dark curse on her was King Sombra himself. Not only did he manage to curse her, the dark king also made sure she had suffer the consequences instead of him as well.
Her voice trembled when she finally uttered out the first thoughts that came to her mind
“Can it be healed?”
Luna closed her eyes and her body tensed up as she tried to find words that would soften the blow
“Without understanding what caused this, I cannot say. Even if I learned the nature of the curse being cast, the damage may be beyond repair.”
After a moment of silence, she added
“I’m sorry, Crystal Note. There is nothing I can do.”
Luna expected to hear crying. Maybe angry words or desperate pleas. However, Crystal Note managed to throw her out of balance with just four words
“You’re sorry? For what?”
Now it was Luna’s turn to open her eyes in disbelieve as she turned around to find a soft smile grace Crystal Note’s features
“Princess Luna… you’ve already done so much for me! You pulled me out of this dark place. You helped my find my family again, my sister. Whatever this is…” she pointed a hoof towards the dark abyss “…it’s nothing compared to that. If that’s the price I have to pay to remember, I’ll do it.”
Luna tilted her head to one side, stupefied and surprised. The mare had been in tears just minutes before over a mistake she’d done in the past, during a moment of weakness. Now she was able to smile while facing such an abomination of darkness, inside herself.
Luna noticed Crystal Note take a deep breath, just as she had learned earlier this night when confronted with overwhelming worry and fear. She had seen the consequences and now fought hard not to lose herself in such desperation again.
Crystal Note took a step closer towards the darkness. It was a shaky and small step admittedly, but Luna could see and only find praise for the mare who took the first step to face maybe her greatest fear.
When Crystal Note spoke, her voice was calm even if it was just a whisper
“It’s like you said, Princess. I can’t give up hope. I’m scared of this thing, but it’s past. I can’t let it take over the present. I’ll have to keep looking, find a way to make it work.”
Luna smiled, hearing some of her own words, the lessons she had offered during their journey, summed up. Some of them had seemed unrefined and vague even to herself, but it seemed that the crystal unicorn found what she needed in those words.
Behind Crystal Note, a few of the memories reacted and glowed brightly. Images appeared behind her, outside of her sight as the gem shaped orbs remained locked on the blackness. Luna however could see them clearly.
Right behind her stood her family, her mother with a loving smile, her father with pride in his eyes. Between them, so close that the image almost touched Crystal Note, stood an older version of the filly Rose Quartz, probably born from a recent memory. While she had trails of tears on her cheeks, her expression was happy relief as she had found her sister again.
Other images from older memories flickered in and out of view, only some who Luna could recognize. The pegasus caretaker from Canterlot was one of them, a few crystal ponies she’d seen in other memories, including a young version of Sour Berry, the stallion from the last memory they’d visited together.
Another deep breath of the crystal unicorn ended her reminiscence and the images gently faded away. Crystal Note finally pulled her eyes away from the scar and instead looked back at the princess. Luna could still see doubt and worry, fear and insecurity linger in the mare’s thoughts, but compared to where they had started at sunset, there were worlds between.
“You’ve learned, faster than I dared to hope and more than to be expected in only one night. Well done, Crystal Note. There is still a long road ahead of you, but I have no doubts that your journey will be successful in the end.”
Luna held the mare’s eyes for a moment to make sure Crystal Note would not easily dismiss her praising words. The lack of confidence and self-worth Luna had seen before made the mare blush, but the nod she received told her that these bumps in the road would be overcome as well, in time.
The moment passed, and both mares turned to observe the dark wound once more
“There is still one more secret to be unveiled, Crystal Note.”
The crystal unicorn took a deep breath and nodded
“I’m ready.”
Luna’s horn glowed as she channelled her magic. Unlike the memories before, this one had to be almost cracked open to gain access, not unlike a nightmare that sometimes held a pony tightly in its grasp.
A doorway appeared in front of them. It was not the wooden one Luna preferred to summon, but a large double-winged door made of black crystal.
Crystal Note froze up momentarily, until Luna stepped close next to her and touched her back with her wings. With a gulp and a shaky hoof, she reached out and touched the door.
As soon as she made contact, Luna felt a violent force. Before she could react, Crystal Note was sucked into the dark, along with her.