Stupid Future Reviled
"I don't see what good it is to apologize after all that goofy dress was only a little scorched around the edges and her hair did grow back" Discord floated along "It's not like she'll even care if I don't drop by to make amends besides Spike said we were cool".
Twilight marched on, Her mind on a friendship lesson mission "What do you think Fluttershy would say?" her one eye brow arched in a knowing display of 'got cha!'
His deflated serpentine body limply flew through the air like one of Pinkies defective balloons coming to rest at her hooves "Oh poo you know Spikes main squeeze is nothing but a silly drama queen looking for fame and fortune, she's what you call a common diamond digger. It would do them both better if they found somepony else to get their jollies". Twilight stepped over the deflated Discord not even waiting for his return to blimpiness, her turning to face him only at the front entry of Raritys garishly decorated "Carousel Boutique" not to be confused with her "Canterlot Boutique" or her "Rarity for You" in Manehatten and surely not with Barnyard Bargains "Frocks R Us" stores located in most Equestrian Malls across the nation. No this was the tribunal he was slated for the place where Twilight thought he needed to go or Princess Twilight "the squealer stool pigeon" Sparkle would tattle on him to Fluttershy and no guy would ever confess to being ponywhipped. Well except Spike and everyone knew how ponywhipped he was to that drama queen of a mare. "Some Princess of Friendship" A poofy flash on the door handle deposited a droopy Discord on it's well polished surface no doubt the work of a brave dragon hero turned willing slave. "Lets get this over with I'm surely not going to let this get in the way of my usual tea time".
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Rarity frowned as she saw the two enter her shop. It was a Monday, Sweetie Belle made breakfast again, Spike was busy elsewhere, Four orders were returned for no good reasons other then for the usual refund after damage and some prankster pony left a poop bomb in her main lobby, What do you expect they're ponies! Why would today get any better? The number one prankster who played light bright with the crystal map was here! The boob who had made the conditions ripe for Spike to give her underside bits a little flash burn! Rarity let out a huff thinking she's had enough horse shit for the day as it is. "Well well well if it isn't the mad scientist and her chaotic mismatched minion, Twilight had her moment and I can forgive her little prank as for you..."
Discord cut her short "That dress just needed a little pressing and as for the rest it grew back!"
Ratity snorted " You embarrassed my dear Spikey and I not to mention my discomfort and damages".
"Like I said it's all better and besides Spikes got wings he's his own dragon now".
"As for Spike he's innocent for his untimely flames but YOU almost had him burn my teats off with your little stunt!"
"Like I have any influence over Celestias pen pals!" Discord crossed his arms raising to his full height "Does your little Spikey Wikey know you use such language? And here he's always praising how his Princess Smarity Ah Rarity was a lady who would accept a genuine apology".
"Well it is a Monday after all what do you expect a spontaneous song and dance number? I really can't see what Fluttershy sees in a nasty character such as you".
Twilight watched the painful exchange continue her patience drawing to her wits end "Will you two just apologize already!"
The bickering stopped and the two oral combatants looked at the book horse with fire in their eyes, As if she had no friggin clue to the ramifications of butting in somepony else's business. A snap of a talon finished off where a butinsky book horse started.
"Now where were we?"
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In a flash Twilight popped into existence as Spike yelled "Awe come on! doesn't anyone knock anymore?" his marely magazine clutched over his lap his duty only half done "It's bad enough Starlight keeps prancing in when I'm . . .Gesh this is so embarrassing, We need to invest in some locks". Twilight had nothing to say the fumes made her eyes water and if the bathroom walls of crystal were painted it would of pealed off "Maybe we need to invest in some industrial air freshener too".
Spike yelled again "I heard that!" huffing out another deposit in the community pool "Like yours don't stink either!"
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"So shall we finish our negotiations over tea?" Rarity trotted into her kitchen giving no choice to her guest but to follow.
"It so happens I have my own very special brand of tea for just this occasion" The Lord of Chaos snapped a paw as an ornate dragon tea set flashed to life on Raritys kitchen table it's Spike shaped tea pot whizzing into a cup relieving itself of his steaming contents with it's over sized spout.
Rarity stared at the vulgar little pisser pot, only in Prance would you see a statue refilling a watering fountain in public in such a deviant display or now on her kitchen table. Her mouth opened and closed in a slow rhythm like a coy fish enjoying a lazy afternoon in the sun after a satisfying meal.
Discord moved his talon under her chin stopping her silent reverence of dragonhood as the little piss pot moved to fill it's third cup. "For your question of "Is it to scale?" I could only imagine the damage he could do to any willing mare to cross his path, As to why I know? Call it a competition in all things male of the species" Discord propped his head off the table in his obviously mismatched arms "or as you girls call it, A dick measuring contest".
Rarity shook her head "Discord stop this... Twilight said you were here to apologize" her eyes wondering down to her little tea pot now filling its eighth cup of lusty goodness. "Sugar?" a refined Canterlot voice sang out with a smiling Discord attached as he continued his dealing "I only do this because if I don't, Twilight will rat me out to my dearest little Fluttershy and you know how we love our tea time".
"So apologize I'm waiting" Rarity tapped the hoof in tempo of a time piece waiting to ring. Discord looked into her eyes "I have something much better, I have that answer to that little itch that you've been wanting to scratch so very very badly".
"What itch are you referring to Discord if this is another prank so help me I'll..." Discord gave her a boop on her muzzle with his out stretched paw her eyes derped out as the kitchen she knew was filled with foals, dancing foals, singing foals, foals with dirty diapers, screaming foals. One filly with a snow white coat delicately pranced into view her mane a miniature violate coiffure of the mighty Raritys bouncing with each of her elegant steps she turned to hold a fashionable pose a pleasant smile on her lips. It was then a monstrous sneeze erupted with flame smoke and mucous, lots and lots mucous, That is also when Rarity saw the tiny bits of added draconic extras.
Her little hoovesies had petit claws at their ends, that sweet smile exposed razor sharp fangs and a soft underbelly of smooth sky blue scales from her bottom to under that mucous covered chin. The little abomination swept away the oozing mucous with a set of clumsy hoofs drawn across her muzzle still smiling oblivious to gravity that promptly pulled her face first into the tea set. "Welcome to "The Bribe Is Right" a game show of luck and skill, Yes you too can be the mother of these fine abominations along with a cast of others." A pongon strutted into view it's prismatic colors and swagger matching Rainbow Dash its feathers singed from its own fire and boasting speed above all else. Another pink dracony rolled across the table her bubbly laughter punctuated by blasts of confetti out both its ends as one orange hybride stood silently eating an apple watching all the circus acts running around the pissing tea pot who was soon to be running out of cups. All the foals but one faded away as Rarity reached out to them "Discord what in Celestias name is all this for?" A clank was heard as the Spikey thee dragon tea pot who finished pouring was sitting drinking while watching the little parade of foals face palmed at Raritys question. "What?" she asked to no one in particular. Another clank was heard. The little white hybrid crossed her hooves a look of 'What type of mother is this?' on her snout.
Discord scowled his attention drawn to the tea pot and pongon "See what'd I tell you she's too prissy and stuck up to have any little abominations no matter how much they wish to come into being, I'll have to tell Fluttershy her idea of..." Rarity interrupted his lamentation "What about Fluttershy? What does Spikey and I have to do with her?" Discord again snapped his talon his features full of dread a faint figure slowly and shyly gathered in a mist a pink mane and a fluffy pink tail covered her as she crept forward to the center of the table next to the tea pot and the other figments of Discords imagination. The little yellow whiffet nervously twiddled with her paws as she shyly coiled her serpentine tail around her like a protective blanket the fluffy pink end partly covering her face,
It had Fluttershys eyes. "She doesn't want our future hybrid to be alone when ponies eventually call her an abomination like I was..."
Discord uncharacteristically conducted himself as a complete gentlecolt with a top hat and tie as he explained the in's and out's of Twilights experiments and her project spinoff in studying the hippogriffs into the hypothesizing that hybrid species are possible resulting in Fluttershys desires to rock Discords world.
"It's always the shy ones you have to look out for" Rarity giggled as the news finally sank into her that the well equipped tea pots counterpart was more then just a great brushing machine but also a scratching post for her motherly itch "For Spikey and Fluttershy's happiness!"
Discord gasped in surprise " But what about me?"
Rarity snorted and leaned over the table "We'll see , You're still on my short list".
The two figments of parenthood looked at each other with a growing worry "Whoa she's going to be a tough costumer" As Spikey the dragon tea pot danced the jig giving a double thumbs up as he prematurely spurted tea all over the cream and sugar.
"Yes, a very short list and this tea pot isn't helping you any".