The dining room was quite quiet, the other customers apparently absorbed in their meals. The only sound came from the clatter of plates and glasses, apart from the group at table six.
“Do you think they have grilled cheese?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“No,” Dinky replied.
“They might,” Ditzy said encouragingly. “We’ll just have to see what’s on the menu.”
Apple Bloom frowned. “Where are th’ menus?” she wondered. “An’ where’re all the waiters?”
There was a polite cough from right behind them. It wasn't an announcement. It barely constituted a wheeze, more an exhalation full of dust. The ponies turned to see an old gazelle in a suit jacket standing nearby. “Good evening,” he intoned. “My name is Herbert. I will be your server for this evening.” His cloudy blue eyes scanned the assembled diners. “Would you care to start with a beverage?” he inquired.
“Do you have lemonade?” Sweetie Belle asked hopefully.
“No.”
“Soda?”
“No.”
“Apple juice?”
“No.”
“Milk?”
“That, we do have. Cow or goat?”
“...Cow, please,” Sweetie replied. “Can you make it chocolate milk?”
“I will see what I can do.”
Everypony else elected to have water, apart from Ditzy, who ordered tea. Herbert nodded. “I shall return momentarily,” he said, turning to go.
“Um, wait a sec,” Rumble said. “Don’t we get menus?”
The gazelle looked back at the party of seven and sighed. “As sir wishes. It should be noted, however, that we do not have a children’s menu.”
He trotted off before any more comments could be made. “...I’m not a child,” Rumble sulked.
“Yes you are,” Scootaloo replied.
“No, I’m a teenager,” the grey pegasus said, in the sort of tone that came only from repeating the same tiresome correction over and over again.
Scootaloo looked at him flatly. “Well, you’re not an adult,” she retorted.
Rumble opened his mouth to respond, when Dinky suddenly shushed them. She stared around the room. “Does anypony else think that there’s something seriously weird about these guys?” she whispered.
“Ah thought yer dad said jest ‘cause somethin’ different don’t make it weird,” Apple Bloom replied, eyebrows knitting.
Dinky scowled. “Okay, yeah, but it feels like— I dunno, but it feels that there’s something wrong with this picture,” she said, glancing at a couple of reindeer sitting across the way. They both stared down at their bowls, occasionally lifting a spoon to their lips.
The assembled ponies stared. Eventually, Rumble shook his head. “I don’t see-” he started, when Button interrupted.
“It’s like they’re on a timer,” he said, staring. “One, two, three—” one reindeer took a spoonful of soup. “Four, five—” the other one took a spoonful. “Six—” The first one took another spoonful. “Seven, eight, nine—” First one again. “Ten.” The second reindeer took a little more soup.
“And over there,” Dinky added, “That minotaur’s taking a sip of water every seven seconds, and that griffon takes exactly three seconds to chew and swallow a bite of sandwich.”
Sweetie looked at a nearby camel. “She’s just twirling her grass on her fork,” she noted, “Hasn’t taken a single bite.”
“Okay,” said Apple Bloom. “Ah officially rescind mah criticism of yer callin’ this place weird. This all is Discord-level weirdness right here.”
“Your tea, madam,” the waiter said, having managed to materialize behind Ditzy without anypony noticing.
“I just noticed something else,” Dinky said quietly. “Everyone in here but us has eyes the exact same shade of blue.” She looked up at the waiter.
“Everyone,” she repeated.
All noise in the restaurant suddenly stopped. Every head in the place swiveled toward the ponies as one. Carefully, Ditzy took her teacup and poured a little bit onto the table. It hissed slightly, and acrid fumes rose up from where it had eaten through the cloth. The pegasus looked at it thoughtfully. “I think I’d better have coffee instead,” she said with a nervous chuckle.
As one, every patron in the place rose from their seats, their dead blue eyes trained on the party of seven sitting at table six. Ditzy swallowed. “Not big caffeine fans?” she guessed weakly.
Scootaloo recovered her wits first. With a defiant cry, she leapt up, smacking the drinks tray back onto the waiter, who stumbled back, his fur smoking where the droplets had fallen. The other customers charged forward. “RUN!” Sweetie cried.
Chairs toppled over as the ponies pushed away from the table, scattering across the room. Scootaloo found herself face to beak with the carefully-chewing griffon. She backed away into a corner, her opponent’s rain-colored eyes never leaving hers. The young mare swept out her wings in preparation to fly, but when the griffon rose up into the air to swat her back down, she ran under his legs, instead. “Psych!” she cried.
Dinky, meanwhile, was busy ducking under tables, only to teleport away and pop out from others. Her long-range teleportation was still lousy— Twilight had only really begun to teach her that after she had bonded with the TARDIS— but she was a whiz at zapping herself over short distances.
Talking of zapping, she saw her mother fluttering overhead, using weather magic on the sprinkler systems and lighting fixtures to create an artificial thunderstorm. She fired bolts off at random— with her eyesight, it didn’t much matter if she tried to aim or not. Several of the diners were knocked clean off their hooves. Thankfully, only the griffon was able to fly, and he was still chasing after Scootaloo, who was doing her best to lead him into as much furniture as she could.
Button was trapped on top of a table— how he had gotten there, Dinky hadn’t a clue. A minotaur was prepared to swat him down, but at the last moment, Rumble flew in with a rebel yell, throwing the dregs of Ditzy’s tea into the diner’s face. With a cry, the minotaur fell back, clawing at his eyes. The two colts hoof-bumped, then leapt off in separate directions as a camel lashed out, striking the table. Suddenly, Dinky saw with horror that Apple Bloom was lying prone on the floor. The unicorn rushed to the earth pony’s side, checking for a heartbeat. Finding one, she relaxed— just in time for a kangaroo to catch her by the tail.
Dinky let out a piercing scream as she and the unconscious Apple Bloom were unceremoniously hauled into the air. The kangaroo and the two ponies promptly vanished in a flash of blue light. “No!” Button shouted in horror, staring in dismay at where the two fillies had been.