When I woke up, I was... different. It was also 5 in the morning, But that's beside the point. I smiled brightly and began to bounce around. I pull out my wand and begin to construct a bunch of stuff outside. It took a few hours before sage and Alex woke up. Sage watched with a confused look.
"The heck are you doing Cat in the Hat?"
"It's like he's tripping balls and somehow made it contagious..." Alex said.
"Like that one episode from Rick and Morty."
"Rick and Morty?" Sage stared at Alex before shaking his head and looking away. "What?"
"You've missed a lot," Sage said. It looked like I didn't notice you guys. I finally finished constructing. I look around for something to load into it. My face then brightened and I put a random pot on my head. I climb into the cannon.
"We should stop him or make sure he doesn't die... Rasiel." Sage said, summoning the Spirit and a fountain pen.
"Cartoon... physics… apply… to lightningman… upon… impact... while under… the effects… of… Poison… Joke. There, weshouldbe good to go now."
"Should probably follow him just to be sure," Alex said, summoning his wings
"Ya don't say," Sage said, a transparent white aura surrounding him. "This is gonna look like Tom & Jerry: Benny Hill edition."
"Pfft. No kidding."
The cannon fired. There was a distinct "WHEEEEEE!!!!!!" As I was sent soaring through the air. Smoke trailing off behind me. But the smoke turned and made it's way to Sage and Alex. It reformed into Sam.
"GUYS! I found out what the effect of Poison joke is on him. His body becomes insane, and his real mind is almost completely numbed from the real world, so he isn't in his true senses right now." Sam was yelling worriedly.
"Well, crud. I can only think of two definite ways to stop him long enough to dunk him in the antidote and that's sealing him or trapping him in another dimension. Or I could try using my Sharingan to put him under a genjutsu... heck, maybe even the metal I produce as a bearer of the Rinnegan could allow me to control him temporarily, so long as I'm fast enough." Sage said.
"Well, whichever you pick, it will still be useless if we can't find him," Alex said.
"Right, let's go," Sage said, taking off after lightningman. Alex followed shortly after, quickly catching up and flying alongside Sage.
Sam followed blankly. "Shari what now?"
"Sharingan. Copy Wheel Eye. It's basically my go-to for learning things quickly. I used it to learn Greek in under a week. It also has multiple abilities like Susanoo, which is... better to understand if you see it, Kamui, which is an ability that grants me access to another dimension or the ability to 'phase' through objects, etc. Every Sharingan is a little different, that is, every Mangekyou Sharingan." Sage said. "Mangekyou means Kaleidoscope." Sage clarified when he noticed Sam giving him a confused look again.
"Alright then, but I already have a plan. water and electricity don't mix, so make a water cage and cut a bit of skin off him."
"Hmm... Question, how long can lightningman survive without air? I may have a technique or two that can restrain him." Sage asked.
"Hes still human." Sam deadpanned
"Right then, the Water Prison Technique probably wouldn't be the best idea in that case. Still leaves waterbending though!" Sage said. Some time passed before we found lightningman again. Sage flew above him as Alex and Sam landed nearby. Sage looked around, checking to be sure the Mane Six weren't nearby and that the area was clear. He angled himself so that he was parallel to the ground before making three quick shapes with his hands before putting his right hand next to his mouth, with his index and middle finger straight.
"Water Style: Raging Waves!" He shouted before his cheeks swelled up. Water burst rapidly from his mouth, slamming lightningman into the ground and soaking the entire area around him. Sage kept this up for a few short moments before the water stopped and he began bending it. He restrained lightningman by making water surround his entire body except for his head, then made a thick dome of muddy water to insulate lightningman's lightning. I looked around myself before walking out of the water.
"You forgot to cut a bit of skin off! If you forget to do that, water has no effect on him!" Yelled sam
"I didn't think you meant that literally!" Sage shouted. Sage threw a shuriken at lightningman before making a plus with his index and middle fingers of both hands. "Shuriken Kage Bunshin!" The lone shuriken multiplied and became a blizzard of sharp metal as lightningman became covered in lacerations and shuriken. Sage repeated the waterbending process from before, but thickened the water that trapped lightningman' body and mixed in some dirt, making it mud.
"Now will it work?" He asked Sam. Sam saw electricity pouring out the wound.
"Until it heals, yes." she nodded
"He heals using lightning?" Sage asked. "I might be able to slow it down by eating or absorbing it."
"Who said it used lightning?" Sam asked. "Since he only has half his body to care for, he heals faster than normal."
"Half his body? The (beep) does that mean?" Alex asked.
"Mm, says here that half his body is lightning." Sage said, holding Rasiel. "So all I need to do to keep him down is remove his lightning as an active healing factor and damage him when he gets too healed, right? And by removing his lightning, I mean by the methods I mentioned earlier." He clarified.
"His lightning is the only thing keeping him there." Sam deadpanned. "plus if you take it away, half his body is permanently useless. J-just go and check on the episode. Ill keep an eye on him here."
"Alright, but I'm leaving a bending spirit here to make sure he stays down. Vaatu, you're up." Sage said. The aforementioned spirit emerged from Sage's chest and circled the muddy sphere like a snake before stopping, keeping a keen eye on lightningman. "Give him a knockback blast if he gets too rowdy."
"But of course, Masaru. Surely you can trust me enough to manage him on my own." Vaatu said in a scratchy, baritone voice.
"You've been with me for nearly twenty millenia. If my extreme lack of worry regarding you behaving isn't a sign of trust, I don't know what is." Sage said. "C'mon Alex, let's go check the episode progress. Oh, and Vaatu? Sam's in charge til lightningman is back to normal. Different world, different rules."
"You sound like a parent." Alex said.\
"Piss off." Sage said.
"I wouldn't know about parents." Sam shrugs. "ive only been alive for a week or so."
“Wow, that’s... wow.” Sage said.
"Yeah, and your putting me in charge of a millenium old creature."
“So it seems. Is there a problem with this arrangement? Vaatu is perfectly capable of following directions, so I honestly don’t see the problem.” Sage said.
"No. i just wanted to point out the irony."
“Mm... well anyway, Alex and I are gonna go check the progress. Hopefully Zecora has that antidote whipped up and ready.” Sage said. He and Alex walked off in search of the girls, leaving Sam to watch over lightningman with Vaatu.
"Author, forget about me and dad. keep an eye on those guys and make sure we dont get plot deviations." Sam said as the author went and watched the two
Twilight was searching through a bunch of books looking for a cure and a reason for her horn.
"No no no no no! None of these books have a cure! Ugh! There has to be a real reason for this! An illness? An allergy?!"
"A curse?" Suggested Spike.
"I said a real reason. Something that points to something real ."
"How about this one?" He said as he pointed to a book that was unopened.
"Supernaturals"? Spike, the word supernatural refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies, which are as make-believe as curses. This book is just a bunch of hooey!"
“Then how would you explain my Angels? Or the invisible curse marks that cover my body? You only live once, Twilight. If you ask me, it’s worth a shot. Then again, itisyour library and horn, so what would I know?” Sage said, walking in through the door. “And another thing, the Edo Tensei wouldn’t work if ghosts weren’t real.”
"That's because you're from an alternate reality," Twilight yelled.
"But what if you're wrong, Twilight? What if this really is a-" Spike was interrupted by Pinkie Pie.
"Ah pfurse!"
"A purse? How could it be a purse?"
"Pinkie? What happened?" Twilight asked as she trotted up to her.
"Pee pah Zthecora! Sthe put a cursthe on me!"
"Hey, say it, don't spray it, Pinkie!" Spike complained. Suddenly there was a thud.
"Ow." Another one. "OW! She's" Thud. "Tring to say." Thud. "Zecora." She crashes through the door. "She slapped us all with a curse!"
"I'm afraid I have to agree." Rarity said as she stepped in covered with hair.
"I hate to say I told ya so, Twilight, but I told ya so!" Yelled A tiny Applejack "It's a curse, I tell ya!"
"But Fluttershy... seems just fine!" Twilight said as she looked at Fluttershy.
"Yes, there doesn't seem to be athingwrong with her." Rarity said jealously
"Fluttershy? Are you okay? Is there something wrong with you? Would you care to tell us? So... you're not going to tell us? Yes, you're not, or yes you will?" Twilight asked
"Good gravy, girl! What's wrong with you?!" Applejack yelled.
"I don't want to talk about it," Fluttershy said in a rich baritone.
“Her voice is deeper than Vaatu’s... huh...” Sage said.
“Y’know, the show never clarified if that was the only effect that Poison Joke had on her. I wonder how her animal friends reacted.” Alex said to Sage.
"I DONT WANT TO HEAR MY MAREFRIEND IS A GUY!!!" a very distinct yell was heard just then. SPike bursts out laughing.
"This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got: Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple Teeny, Flutterguy, and... uh... I got nothin'... Twilight Sparkle. I mean seriously, I can't even work with that."
"This is no joke, Spike. Now start looking for more books so I can find a cure!" Twilight said
"I think we'll find a cure to this curse at Zecora's place!" Rainbow Dash said.
"It's not a curse!"
"I agree with Dash! We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!" Applejack said.
"It's not a hex either!" Twilight yelled as applebloom stood by spike.
"This is all my fault. If I hadn't followed Zecora in the first place, none of this would have happened. I just gotta fix this." She left.
"Now where does she think she's goin' this time?" Applejack muttere as she jumped onto applebloom.
"I don't care what you say, Twilight. It's time to pony up and confront Zecora. Come on, girls. Are you with me?" Rainbow Dash looked at them all.
"Sure, why not." Sage said, yawning.
"What he said." Alex said, also yawning.
"Ah am-pft!" Spluttered pinkie.
"And I as well." Rarity said
"Uh, I don't know. Seems awfully dangerous." Fluttershy said.
"How about you, Applejack? Applejack?" Rainbow Dash looked around.
"Pf-she's gone-pft!"
“So, I’m in the mood for a little fun. Who wants to ride on a giant wolf with ten tails? Or perhaps a giant beetle with six wings?” Sage asked.
“I vote giant wolf!” Alex said excitedly.
"We don't have time for that! Where's applejack?" All the girls began to search around for her Just then Twilight noticed something else.
"Apple Bloom is gone too!"
"I bet they went after Zecora."
"Well we better go find them. Come on girls, let's go."
"Uh... Spike? Are you coming?" Fluttershy asked as they were leaving with difficulty.
"Nope! Uh... gotta stay here and look for a cure." Spike thought for a few seconds before brightening. "Twilight Flopple!"
“Offer is still on the table...” Sage said weakly. Alex patted him on the back.
“I feel ya, Sage. I’m still up for the wolf ride, if that’s any consolation.” He said. “But we should still get going.”
“Right.” Sage said, nodding. The girls were running towards the everfree forest
"C'mon girls. We've got to get to Zecora's. Hurry!" Twilight yelled
"Easier said than done." Rarity said.
"Hey, wait for me!" Rainbow calls as she crashes.
"Rainbow! Thank Celestia! There's no time to lose! I need to get to Zecora's pronto! Giddy-up pony!" Applejack puts a muzzle on her.
"Ex-CUSE me?" Rainbow asked angrily.
"YEEE-HAW!" Applejack yelled as she bucked Rainbow's side Which caused her to start flying. "No, Rainbow Dash. Other way!" They began to fly. After a little bit, Rarity and the girls end up in front of Zecora's house.
"Oh. I look horrible!"
"Plis place plooks horrible!" Pinkie Pie said as she moved rarity's hair out of her face.
"Oh my. That place really does look horrible. Nice decorations, if you like creepy!" The girls then notice Zecora brewing a potion and speaking in her native language.
"Sthe sthtole my sthong! Shthe shtole mm mm!" Pinkie Yelled.
"She stole your song?" Rarity asked.
"Oh Pinkie. Doesn't sound anything like your song." Twilight shook her head.
"Hmmph." Pinkie gestures to Fluttershy who sighs and begins to sing.
"She's an evil enchantress, And she does evil dances, And if you look deep in her eyes, She will put you in trances. Then what would she do? She'll mix up an evil brew, Then she'll gobble you up, In a big tasty stew. Soooo... Watch out."
“You up for just walking in and seeing what’s up?” Alex asked Sage, whom shrugged.
“Sure. Maybe there’s some things she can teach me that my Zecora hasn’t." The duo walked into the hut, leaving the six to sort themselves out.
"You saw those terrible things.Nowdo you believe us Twilight?" Rarity said as none of them noticed.
"Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling cauldron?Everything is pointing to Zecora being...bad. Or... what if Zecora is just making soup?" Twilight suggested feebily.
"Mmm! The perfect temperature for ponies, I presume. Now, where is that little Apple Bloom?" Zecora looked around.
"Or... what if she's making Apple Bloom soup?!" Twilight cried.
"I'm comin' for ya, Apple Bloom!" Applejack yelled as she crashed through the door.
“Terrible timing, Z. Now the six mares out there are flipping out over nothing.” Sage said.
There was a bunch of confusion before Zecora yelled "No! You know not what you do! You've gone and spilled my precious brew!"
"We're onto you Zecora. I didn't want to believe that you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming!"
"You made me look ridiculous."\
"You made mesoundridiculous!" Said Fluttershy.
"You made me speak ridiculously!" Pinkie Barely manages to say.
"You ruined my horn! And I don't even know what happened to Lightningman! I haven't seen him all day! What did you do to him?"
“The Poison Joke screwed him over mentally and now he’s twice as hyper as Pinkie and as animalistic as Fluttershy’s animals. Sam told us how to restrain him and now he’s back in town with Vaatu keeping him down til the antidote is ready.woke us up too.” Sage grumbled.
“First things first, getting this mess cleaned up.” Sage’s eyes flashed light blue briefly before the cauldron was levitated back to it’s spot and it’s contents drawn from the floor and back into the cauldron. “There, much better.”
"and Howdareyou! You destroy my home, destroy my work. Then rudely accusemeof being a jerk?"
"You put this curse on us, now you're gonna uncurse us."
"It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!"
"Where is Apple Bloom!?" Twilight yells
"Zecora! I think I found all the things ya asked for. What in Ponyville is goin' on here?" Applebloom asks as she walks in.
"Apple Bloom! You're okay!" Applejack yells happily
"Why wouldn't I be?" She asks confused.
"Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and was gonna cook you up into soup!" Applebloom and zecora look at each other before laughing.
"Oh Twilight. Did those silly fillies finally get in yer head? You know there's no such thing as a curse."
"Apple Bloom, sweetie. You can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse." She says as she points to the ailments.
"This isn't a curse."
"If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact."
"It was a warnin'. About that blue plant. It's called Poison Joke."
"That plant is much like poisonoak. But its results are like a joke." Zecora chuckles
"What in the hay does that mean?" Applejack asks
"It means this plant does not breed wrath. Instead, this plant just wants a laugh."
"Will somepony please talk normal?" She looks at everyone else.
"I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Apple Bloom, we ran into the poison joke. All our problems are just little jokes it played on us." Twilight says
"Little jokes?! Very funny." Applejack huffs
"Okay, fine. But what about the cauldron?" Rainbow Dash asks
"And the chanting?" Fluttershy adds
"And the creepy décor?" Rarity finishes
"Treasures of the native land where I am from. This one speaks 'hello', and this 'welcome'." She points to different faces.
"Not welcoming at all, if you ask me." Rarity says quietly.
"The words I chanted were from olden times. Something you call a nursery rhyme."
"But the cauldron... The Apple Bloom soup?" Twilight asks
"Lookie here Twilight. That pot of water wasn't for me, it was for all these herbal ingredients. The cure for poison joke is a simple old-natural remedy. You just gotta take a bubble bath!"
"But I tried to find a cure in all my books and couldn't find anything. What book has this natural remedy?" Twilight asks shocked
"Here is the book, you see? Sad that you lack it in your library." Zecora hands a book to her.
"Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so... Weird.Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-alls That Are Simply Super. I...I... I'm so sorry, Zecora. I had the answer the whole time if only I had bothered to look inside." She lowers her head in shame.
"Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book." Zecora shakes her head and smiles.
"Zecora? Would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath?" Twilight asks
"Mix it up I certainly will. Yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville."
"But whenever Zecora comes to town, all the shops aremysteriouslyclosed." Applebloom glares pointedly at the mares in the room.
"Oh, well... I think we can help you with that." Twilight smiles.
“Can we head back my way? No one has teleported here like I have.” Sage asked.
"Fine. Just teleport us outside of town. If we teleport right in, there might be a bad reaction." Twilight told him.
“Alright, just put your hooves and hands on me and we’ll be off.” Sage said.
“You know Instant Transmission don’t you?” Alex asked, putting a hand on Sage’s shoulder.
“Yep,” Sage replied, putting two fingers to his forehead. All the girls shrug and put their hooves on Sage. Once everyone was making physical contact, Sage used Instant Transmission and teleported everyone just outside Ponyville.They all thanked him and began to walk inside of ponyville. After a little bit there was a gasp.
"Look Rose! How awful!"
"The wicked enchantress has cursed them all."
"The horror, the horror!" This began a panick and everyone ran into their houses. Twilight walked up to one of them and knocked on the door. Daisy looked out to see Twilight.
"Daisy, we need to talk."
“And cue the next scene.” Sage said.
"NOT YET!" yelled Sam as she ran past. Sage turned around to lightningman looking like Sledge from Rainbow Six Siege. He was holding his hammer. He then swung it at him. "BEGONE THOT!" It made contact and sent him into a tree
“VAATU! WHAT THE (beep) HAPPENED?!” Sage yelled, pulling himself from the tree with his ki and readying for a fight. Said dark bending spirit came over and settled next to Sage, cautiously watching lightningman.
"He healed faster than I thought Masaru." Vaatu said. "I've been trying to stop and trap him for half an hour." He frowned. "He got me at least twice with that hammer." Lightningman looked at vaatu and roared a battle cry. "Uh oh." Vaatu disappeared barely avoiding a swing to the head.
“Ho (beep).” Sage said, shocked. “Alright Vaatu, take a break.” The dark spirit rushed back into Sage, quickly disappearing.
“Alright Masaru, you got this. His world, his rules. You’ve faced worse odds.” Sage whispered to himself. A red gauntlet with yellow spikes and a emerald gem appeared on Sage’s right arm. “Welsh Dragon Balance Breaker!”A deep voice said. Red, dragon-like armor covered in yellow spikes, emerald gems, and a segmented tail starting just below the neck appeared on Sage’s body. Said human quickly took advantage of his armors strength and blocked another swing from lightningman.
“Zecora, hurry up with the antidote. Alex, get ready to levitate it in a giant ball so I can smack lightningman into it.” Sage ordered before focusing back on the fight.
As Sage and Alex tried to attack me, a song began to play
I began to dodge to the beat and made the hammer disappear. Sage tried to punch me, but i jumped over him and punched him in the back. Alex, seeing how quickly Sage was attacked, switched to a defensive pattern, throwing bolts of various magics and other things while teleporting when lightningman got close to maintain range. Meanwhile, Sage was standing still as a statue before his armor suddenly turned silver, gaining an extremely polished metallic sheen and a matching silver aura. After that, Sage seemingly disappeared, immediately reappearing next to lightningman and attacking. Lightningman seemed to be made of smoke or something as Sage's fist went through him, Lightningman smiled as his body seemed to be shifting, his skin seemed to be moving and being replaced by lightning. Half his body was still natural body, but it was just moving to different parts of his body to avoid attacks. Alex took a moment to boost his output and pulled his ruby from his pocket and held it up. It continued to float in place as Alex lowered his hand, soon beginning to spin. As it spun faster, Alex exposed his chest and braced his body. The ruby suddenly stopped and was glowing intensely before slamming into Alex’s sternum and fusing with his body, which started growing grey scales made of stone. Once the transformation was done, Alex stood there as a half-dragon and watched the fight between lightningman and Sage before shortly joining in, throwing a stone scaled fist at lightningman. Lightningman got hit and was sent into a wall. He smiled and jumped down, brushing splinters of wood off his costume and out of his body, occasionally sending sparks of lightning onto the groud lighting up the grass for a second or two before evaporating from the wind. He began to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet excitedly. He ran forward, he was just about to punch the dragon before disappearing with a crack and reappearing on him.
"WHOO HOO!!!" I yelled as Alex tried to throw him off. Sage realized what was going on and quickly summoned Rasiel again, writing something down that removed lightningman's cartoon physics. The moment this happened, Alex fell backwards in an attempt to damage lightningman. He slammed lightningman's back into the ground, which caused the half-dragon's horns to smash into the electric hero's abdomen. There was an unmistakeable SQUISH!! as he struck my abdomen. the cartoon physics were the thing allowing me to move my physical matter, without it.... it turns back to normal.
"Did somebody call for internal bleeding? No? That sucks. Welp, better start healing." Sage said, walking over to the duo. Alex got up and turned to look down at lightningman's prone form as Sage began healing him. Once Sage was done, the red-haired duo jumped backwards into fighting positions.
"who's dat deklan?" I said whoozily. "ooh dats nice. im smelling colours now." I reach toward the sky and giggle childishly. "ids like colored wader." I get up and dance a bit before collapsing and snoring. Sage and Alex blinked owlishly at the sleeping hero, before they both shrugged and walked over to him. Sage, being immune to lightning due to his Lightning Rod ability, hefted lightningman onto his shoulders and began walking to the spa.
"I hope they have that bath ready." He said.
"Same." Alex replied. Later, as Sage, Alex and I went into the spa. The ponies were soaking in the tub. and getting their bodies back to normal. I was still fast asleep.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
My friends and I all learned an important lesson this week: Never judge a book by its cover. Someone may look unusual, or funny, or scary. But you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don't care what your "cover" is; it's the "contents" of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle" Once finished the letter Spike sent it.
"Miss Zecora, I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It's simply luxurious!" Lotus Blossom asked
“Heads up!” Sage shouted, kicking Alex into the bath before jumping in after him.
“OW!” *splash* “(beep) IT, SAGE!” The half-dragon shouted once he surfaced. Sage laughed, lightningman still on his back. Once he calmed down, he laid lightningman against the edge of the bath and rested in the water, which was up to his neck.
“So now we wait, right? I’d rather not have to kick his (beep) again.” Sage said, looking at Alex.
“I’d assume so, but I’m not the super genius here.” The god replied. A few seconds later, I began to wake up. I gasp and stood up.
"What happened? Did I hurt anybody? TELL ME!!" I yell urgently. I began to shake Alex.
"A bending spirit and the only redheads in the room. No one else.” Sage said. “Now can you stop shaking the half-dragon?”
"Half-dragon?" I asked blandly. I look at Alex and ask "fod faal ausul drey hi meyz hef dovah?"
“Rul mu lost unt wah zind ko hi.” Alex replied.
“Oh look, a language I haven’t learned yet.” Sage commented. Alex looked at him and smirked. He then frowned. “You’re lucky there isn’t any profanity in Dovahzul.” The rage god said.
"HA!!" I laugh aloud. "You had to go dragon to beat me!" I smile and shake my head. "That's amazing. But terrifying if my body goes nuts again. I couldn't do anything. My mind was basically drunk and high at the same time."
“You were running on cartoon physics, ofcoursewe upped the ante. Heck, you made me use Balance Breaker too.” Sage said.
I felt my abdomen. "I was on cartoon physics?" I deadpan. "Then why am I leaking electricity?" To prove my point I pull up a bit of my costume to show a wound leaking electricity. "If, i was on cartoon physics, i would have just been blown backwards and not harmed, i would have been elastic."
“You were riding Alex like a Jockey from Left 4 Dead when I used Rasiel to remove your cartoon physics. It just so happens that said God of rage started to slam you into the ground back first before I could tell him what was up. The impact caused his horns to press into your abdomen and gave you internal bleeding, which I healed, but don’t be surprised if your urine and stools are red for a day or two.” Sage answered, reclining against the side of the tub next to lightningman, eyes closed in relaxation.
"that....makes more sense than i care to admit."
“If that makes sense then I’m doing it wrong. Your universe says that one must bs their way through explanations. Then again, I did excel in science and reading.” Sage said.
“Same here. We’re oddly alike.” Alex pointed out.
"your obviously the same author." i say.
“(Beep) did I say yesterday?” Sage said.
“You prefer to think of it as someone using metal one way interdimensional portals and windows.” Alex said
“Was I asking you?” Sage asked Alex.
“,No but I don’t give a (beep).”
"honestly? i dont care right now." i groan. "im in too much relief knowing someone didnt get hurt."
"Sis would kick my (beep) if she found out I let an innocent get hurt." Sage said.
"You have a sister? Why isn't she here?" Alex asked, turning to Sage.
"Yep. Probably the best sister anyone could ask for, even if she's the shortest Amazon out there. As for why she isn't here, that's because, as far as I know, she's KIA." Sage replied.
"sorry for your loss." I say.
“Thanks, but I’m sure she pulled some last second trick and is somewhere out there. Probably just as powerful as I am, and likely just as old. If I am right, then I hope to see her again some day.” Sage said.
"im really struggling not to say shes the same as you two."
“,Oh she is. I have no doubt about that. That being said, if she is still alive, then she went through 25 years of blindness in one eye after using Izanagi. Maybe both eyes, since they were both closed when I last saw her.” Sage said. “As much as I like to talk about sis, we’d be better off changing the subject unless you all want me going on a huge rant.”
"yeah." i sigh and rub my eyes. i then snap my fingers. "Oh. i forgot." i pull out two cards. i give them to Sage and Alex. "im still figuring out your dimensional coordinates. As you guys are tougher to pinpoint than the others. but here. i still had a mild bit of my mind this morning." The redhead duo took the cards, looked at them briefly, then stowed them away before pulling two items out of nowhere. One was a gem, much like the one currently embedded in the chest of the only half-dragon in the room, and the other was a three prong kunai with kanji on the handle.
"These are our tokens. Since this isn't a displaced verse, we can't just leave and expect them to suddenly appear when the portal closes. That being said, it's not likely that tokens will start popping up at random, but I can get rid of the chance of it happening if you'd like." Sage said.
"Also, you're welcome to summon us if you need a hand or just wanna hang out." Alex said, to which Sage nodded.
"oh. I don't need those." I shake my head. " I can just request you on my card once I know your dimensional coordinates. And you can use those cards to do the same for anybody else as long as you know theirs." I smile. "you just need a notebook on standby to keep them all down. It's simple."
“If you say so,” Sage said. The duo put their tokens away and settled even deeper into the bath.
“I wonder when we’ll have to leave,” Alex said.
“Soon, I’d assume. It’s always soon.” Sage replied.
"at the minimum? as soon as I figure out your coordinates or you figure them out yourselves. It always begins with either MLP or EGQ. MLP in your guy's cases. Followed by a dash and two letters representing your franchise thing. then 4 numbers. Mine is MLP-D9013. My numbers are my birthday."
"I was talking about the spa..." Alex trailed off.
"Oh!" I say in realization. "yeah, I don't know."
“Eh, let’s just relax till it’s time to go,” Sage said, practically melting into the bath water.
“You know what would make this even better?” Alex asked, a faint orange-red glow in his mouth.
"NO!" I yell. "I don't want to be cooked alive and I don't think the girls would like that either. " all the girls shook their head
“Jesus, dude! I was just gonna heat up the water! A makeshift hot spring sounds nicer than a hot tub, right?” Alex said.
“If it helps, I can bend the fire so it doesn’t burn anyone.” Sage pitched in.
"sorry. im just really jumpy now."
“Nah, it’s cool. So, hot spring time or no?” Alex asked.
“Please say yes. I haven’t been to a hot spring in a very long time.” Sage said.
"yeah. fine." I pull out a notepad. "it'll give me time to figure out your coordinates. You guys are both MLP right?"
“Mine is anthro,” Sage said.
“Pony ponies here,” Alex said, unleashing a small stream of fire, with Sage bending it away from anyone.
"ok." I begin to mumble while writing things. "Sage, how old are you? and what month is it for your birthday? Alex same questions."
“Mmm... physically I’m 25 but time wise I’m 20,461,” Sage said.
“Physically 14 but time wise I’m 1,365,” Alex said.
"ok. Sage? Your MLA-SM2025. Alex? Your MLP-AM1314"
“SM/AM?” They asked.
"yeah. Sage and Multiple. Alex and Multiple."
“Ah.” They said.
“Welp, Blacklight has my (beep) covered. Hows about you, Alex?” Sage said.
“Artemis has mine,” Alex said. “So... Now what? Just chill?”
“I’m ‘cool’ with that,” Sage answered, a mischievous look on his face. “How about it, lightningman?”
"as long as you don't make any more puns, ill grace you with my electrifying personality."
“Well if we do make more puns, I’m sure our exit will be shocking,” Alex said.
“And our landing thunderous,” Sage added. Both looked at lightningman with (beep)eating grins.
"god damn it." I groan. I then shake reach into a pocket. "uhh... mind explaining this?" I pull out Sledges Hammer.
“Who the (bleep) does that belong to?” Sage asks.
"Sledge from Rainbow Six Siege. Why do I have it?"
“Beats me, never played Rainbow Six,” Sage said.
“I've never even heard of Rainbow Six til now,” Alex said.
".... you're kidding me..... you're not kidding." I groan and hop out, sending electricity through my body to heat myself up and dry myself off. "come on you two."
Alex and Sage stepped out of the tub, the former raising his body temperature, which caused the colour of his stone scales to darken, before infusing from the ruby in his chest, while the latter bender all the water off.
“Where we off to?” Sage asked.
"my house. I don't know how much you saw during your short stay, but I have my Xbox with me."
“Sweet,” Sage said.
“What games do you have?” Alex asked.
"what games? hard to say the names of them all. how many games? 127."
“We’re set then,” Sage said.
“If you want any other games, just ask us and we’ll magic them up,” Alex said, to which Sage nodded.
"mine are downloaded."
“Your point? You seem to forget that you’re housing a reality warper and a user of chaos magic.” Sage said.
“He has a point.” Alex chimed in.
"ehh true." I shrug and soon enough we are at my house. "come on. it's upstairs." once there I turn everything on and put Siege on.
“Isn’t Rainbow Six a singleplayer game?” Sage asked.
"yeah, which is why..." I use my aura and lightning to create a second Xbox. " I did this."
"And what about the other red head? Or are you going to play Rainbow Six on your own and leave us to our own devices?" Alex asked
"you guys are gonna play." I smile. Suddenly there was a voice from the walls.
"Um... Lightningman?" I frown.
"yeah auth?"' There was a distinct groan.
"you... may get another visitor." Suddenly there's a crash from outside and I instantly knew I was gonna get a headache.