//------------------------------//
// OP Is a Wyvern 
// Story: Ofolrodi 
// by Imploding Colon 
//------------------------------//

"I am telling you, my frriends, I am so incrredibly vexxed."

Logan stifled the umpteenth groan of the day.  It was his turn to steer the wagon down the canyon, and he did so with lethargic fetlocks.  "We heard you the first time, Keps."

"But have you everr thought about it?"  The wyvern in question looked up from his journal and adjusted his spectacles.  "Like... trruly thought about it?"

"Believe me."  Ariel muttered from where she flew slowly above the craft.  "I try not to."

"But it begs an explanation!"  Kepler insisted, his scorpion tail coiling and uncoiling in pensive motions.  "Afterr all, enough time has trraverrsed!  I of all souls should know.  And yet... upon everry minute I spend ponderring the subject matterr... I end up horrribly, inexcusably vexxed!"

"You're obsessed, Kepler," Flynn yawned.  He lay on his back in the middle of the wagon, resting lazily while polishing a plate of Emeralidnian armor in his hooves.  "Just let it go."

"How can I?!"  Kepler moaned.  "Barrd was ourr good dearr frriend!  Some semblance of logic must be attrributed to his otherrwise trragic demise!"

"What logic are we missing, exactly?"  Flynn shrugged, his mechanical eye rotating in and out on his job.  "That trotting jerkoff of a self-righteous creep—Brye Chandler—was catching up with us.  He ran into Bard and Bard ended him.  Sure, he sacrificed his life in the process and that sucks—but Bard made damned sure that the soldiers of Rohbredden no longer had anyone to force them into a suicide run at the world's edge.  Otherwise we'd be contending with more than just the Murder Chicken at the gondola."  He smirked sideways off the wagon.  "No offense."

Seraphimus said nothing.  She marched alongside the hovercraft, keeping her charcoal eyes glued to the twists and turns of the ravine ahead.

"But therre's no guarrantee that things would have become that dirre," Kepler remarked.  "Chandlerr's soldierrs werre fanatical—yes—but thanks to the herroics of Enix and the otherr nightbloods of Bleak's Plummet, they werre being savagely beaten!  I serriously doubt that even Chandlerr would have been able to urrge them into a final suicidal attack upon the Gondola when Rrainbow and the rrest of us disembarrked!"

"Pfffft... with how heart-broken they were over the wendigoes and Verlaxion's 'death?!'" Ariel spat.  "You've gotten too used to featureless stone and mindless trolls, Keps.  Once upon a time we fought assholes who believed in shit."

"I think we're all forgetting the real big factor here," Logan said, veering the wagon slowly around a chunk of rock sticking out of the dried-up riverbed.  "If Chandler had lived, then he'd be back in Frostknife as we speak... ruling the poor wendigo-hump'd survivors of Rohbredden with an iron hoof.  Remember, that bastard was the one who insisted on rooting up wyverns and throwing them into jail—the ones he didn't friggin' murder, that is.  Who knows what other nasty things that asshole could have passed into law.  You ask me—Bard did us a favor, and if he didn't do what he did then I woulda at the first opportunity.  Swear on my balls."  His nostrils flared.  "But it's all good now.  Frostknife's got the likes of Keris and Theanim Mane looking over it now.  As shitty as things were when Rainbow took the blame for Verlaxion, it could only have been a lot worse if Chandler remained alive."

"Well put, frriend," Kepler said with a nod.  "And I most cerrtainly will not arrgue the forrtuitous naturre of Chandlerr's violent passing..."  The wyvern sighed.  "But how could any of this have occurrred to poorr Barrd's beleaguerred mind when he confrronted Chandlerr and his forrces in that most drramatic battle?!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaand..."  Flynn breathed through a bittersweet smirk.  "...we're riiiiiight back where we began!  All aboard Kepler's Angsty-Go-Round!"  He polished armor vigorously.  "First foal to pluck a ring from the ceramic bull's nose wins a prize!"

"Ach!  It is not angst, dearrest Flynn!  Merrely the deepest of vexation!  Did it everr occurrr to Barrd in those heated moments that he could have sparred Chandlerr's life, saved himself, and still have accomplished the same means?!"

"Spared Chandler's life?!?"  Flynn guffawed.  "Holy bucking shit, Keps!  Have you been smoking those spider beets instead of eating them?"

"Ease off, Flynn," Ariel insisted.  "Kepler's not made of straw."

"Pffft.  You got a better way to deal with this furry clown, then?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."  Nose upturned, Ariel flew closer to the wagon—and Kepler.  "Keps..."  She smiled politely.  "...I know you mean no disrespect to Bard and what he gave up so that we could continue helping Rainbow Dash with her journey.  But take a moment to consider..."  Her ears folded in mid-flight.  "...he wasn't doing too hot by the time Chandler caught up with him."

"Quite so, Arriel.  I am acutely awarre—"

"Are you?"  Ariel's gray brow furrowed.  "He had nearly been eviscerated by Chandler's minions by the time Wildcard found him.  In fact, the only reason Bard wasn't taken off the Stardust was because he needed to be patched up before being moved—or else he would have bled to death on the spot.  Maybe worse."

"Also Chandler was coming in for a landing and there was no friggin' time for—" Flynn interjected.

"Shhhhh!"  Ariel frowned at him, then turned towards Kepler once again.  "Long story short... Bard's number had already been rung up.  He knew it.  Bard was no chump; he had been doing the bounty hunter schtick for longer than I've been alive.  If he had the ability to live through what happened to him, I'm pretty sure he'd still be with us now.  But that's just not the case.  He only had the strength and fortitude to do one final act of justice.  And—like it or not—Chandler's toxicity just could not be tolerated."  She slowly shook her head.  "Somehow saving that bastard at the last second is a completely crazy idea."

"Ach..."  Kepler pointed at a pale feathery figure.  "...once upon a time, somepony would have said the same thing about ourr brrooding ally herre.  And yet, herre we are!"

Ariel bit her lip.

"Hrmmmm..."  Logan smirked slightly, eyes on the path ahead.  "He's got a point there."

Seraphimus said nothing.

"What about it, Commander?"  Flynn sat up just enough to look at her.  "If somepony like you could come around, how about a chump like Chandler—?"

Ariel swatted him hard.  Whap!

"Ow!"  The balding pony pouted.

"Knock it off..."

"Are we gonna bury this damned hatchet once and for all or aren't we?"  Flynn frowned.  "I'm not the one who brought it up!"  He pointed at Keps.  "Our beloved mutant mountain squirrel just won't let it go—!"

"Baldy..."  Logan sighed.

Suddenly, Seraphimus spoke with icy grace:  "I had pledged my heart and soul to Verlaxion, but that was always a lie."  She glared ahead in mid-step.  "My heart always belonged to my family—alive or dead.  It was Verlaxion who seized my heart and used it to manipulate me."  A sharp breath.  "Chandler?  I was a hair's breadth away from imprisoning that stallion for the conspiracy he was performing under the Council's noses.  Then Verlaxion... the draconian manipulator stepped in and bewitched him.  But—unlike me—Chandler never had a heart to begin with.  His entire being was dedicated towards powermongering and corruption."  For once, her charcoal eyes darted towards the wagon.  "Just because a filthy tool is turned towards another task doesn't clean the filth off.  That stallion had no chance for salvation and I shall not weep for him."

The Herald contemplated that in silence.

"Your friend... this 'Bard.'"  Seraphimus breathed.  "... ... ...I am sorry to say that I did not know the stallion, thus I cannot speak for him."

Logan looked over his shoulder.  "Well?  How about that, Keps?"

Kepler sighed... shaking his head.  "I am just... horrribly... irrrecoverrably vexed..."

Flynn rolled his eyes and returned to his polishing task with a huff.

Ariel flew a little higher and Rainbow...

Rainbow listened.  Silent and mellow.  At the end of the conversation, her eyes wandered past Seraphimus.

There—in the distance—Wildcard glided quietly above the ground.  The universe reflected off his goggles, each star twinkling duller and duller.  His headcrest was drooped the whole time.

Rainbow felt a lump form in her throat.  Lowering her gaze, she continued trotting limply along, keeping a safe distance between herself and the chaotic shimmer of the hovercraft.