Chapter One: New Faces, New Places
I was slurking my way through yet another hellhole to get some eyes off of my back when I got blinded by a flash of light so bright, those little spots you get from staring at the Sun too long made their way into my eyes and I tripped over something that wasn’t exactly small. I was pretty sure at the time that it was just some bum without a regular roof to sleep under, but when I heard her cry out, her voice sounded far too… Clean, I guess, to be anything of the sort. At least in my experience most vagrants carried a kind of timre to their grunts. I got to my feet right after falling and tried to study the woman I’d fallen over, though for all I knew she could have just been a slightly large girl with a woman’s voice.
“Hey, are you alright? Didn’t mean to get you there.” I apologized, hoping she wasn’t going to be difficult about it.
“It’s okay.” She grunted, getting to her feet. I could barely see her past the spots, but she sounded like a real sweetheart. “Are you okay? That didn’t sound like a terrible fall, but sometimes they don’t sound all that bad.”
“Nah, I’m fine. I've taken harder spills.” I replied, looking around. We appeared to not be where I was previously and that was rather confusing seeing as how I’d gone from sneaking through a brick and mortar tenement to being in the middle of a fucking alley with cobblestone walls. “... Fuck.”
“Fuck? What does that mean?” The lady asked.
“Fuck? Fuck means that we’re in a dark alley at night and I’m pretty sure that we’re not going to be alone much longer.” I said, dropping my voice a little lower. I took a few steps toward her and offered her my hand, the spots in my eyes still blinding me a bit. “Come on. Let’s get out of here and into the open. Shit goes down in alleys and I doubt you can climb cobblestone.”
She took my hand and let me pull her up. “... Oh dear Heavens, where are we?” She murmured, looking around for herself.
I started pulling her towards a lighter end of the alley since the moon wasn’t putting off much light. “I wouldn’t worry about that as much as stayin’ alive right now, Miss. By the by, name’s Garrison. Most people call me Gauche though.”
“Gauche? You don’t seem to fit the bill.” She mused
“You haven’t known me long enough. Can I catch a name to match to a face when I can actually see clearly?”
“Oh, you mean me? I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. I was wondering why you didn’t recognize me.” Twilight said, like it was actually supposed to make sense.
I scoffed. “If you want out go by pseudonyms, then call me Nightingale.”
“... That’s my real name?”
“Why does it sound like you’re asking me?”
“Well, I’m just not sure how to respond to that. I’ve never had anypony doubt my name before.”
I almost stopped to look at the lunatic before I decided to carry on. “Okay Twilight, it’s whatever.” I said softly, checking out corners. One lead to a dead end and the other to an open street. The good path was clear and I couldn’t feel anything wrong with the situation, but I still flexed my wrists so that my blades would pop out of my leather gauntlets. Daelus was handy with his little machinations, I’ll say that much. “We’re good. I’ll let go for now, but stay close. Got it?”
“Okay… So why are we being so sneaky?” She asked, following me out of the alley.
I turned to look at her, the spots finally having cleared from my eyes, but I couldn’t get a good look at her in the darkness. “Lover, what the fuck? Are you from the countryside or something? An alley at night is the worst place to be, and we need to not be here anymore.” I hustled out of the alley and onto the streets, but what I saw under the glow of the oil lamps was unlike anything I’d seen before. The shops and buildings of the town I found myself in were definitely nothing like those of Capersport, my prowling grounds for most of my adventures. I prayed to Furladra for safe passage in the new place and started scoping it out for any sights of people or anything of the sort. No one was out or about, so I was basically in the clear, so I turned to explain simple shit to a simple woman, but then I saw her face.
She was purple. She also had an amethyst in the middle of her forehead, just above her brow, but she was purple nonetheless. I doubted that she could see past my hood, but I wanted to keep it on the safe side. “... We’re being sneaky because not being sneaky might end with us getting non-alived. I like being regular alive.”
“So do I.” She giggled nervously. “... So you don’t know where we are?”
“... Really couldn’t say. Everything’s so… Well, it’s more... Greyish kinda rocky than red kinda rocky like where I’m from, I’ll say that much.” I commented, taking in the muted vibrance that the town put off outside of its seedy bits. The colours were there in spades, but it seemed like most of the paint adorning the shops and buildings had been mixed to be the colour that they were.
Twilight started wandering around so I followed her since I was pretty sure that she was going to get herself killed. “Gauche, do you happen to know anything about Magic?” She asked out of nowhere.
“Uh, I know it’s magical. It’s not like people can actually do Magic.”
“What makes you say that of all things?”
“... Magic’s real, isn’t it?” I sighed.
“I think you might have gotten caught up in a spell gone wrong, Gauche. I’m really sorry, but I’m pretty sure I can get you home as long as you live in Equestria.” She turned and gave me a heartwarming smile.
I gave her a look that went unseen because I was wearing a hood. “Yeah, no. Ever hear of Avalesce?”
“... Oh. No. Ever hear of Princess Celestia?”
“Nope.”
“... No offense, but I really hope we’re on my planet.” Twilight said nervously.
“If your planet gives you the luxury of not having to worry about catching a knife between the shoulder blades, then I hope we’re on your planet too. Kinda.” I grunted.
“Okay. Okay, I think we need to start forming a plan since we’re apparently stuck wherever we are. Let’s find a safe place to stay for the rest of the night and from whatever inn we manage to find, we’ll be able to start asking questions and figure out how to get ahold of some Dragon Fire.” Twilight clapped her right fist into her left hand.
“... Alright. So we’re finding an inn?” I asked.
She nodded curtly. “We are. I’m pretty sure I dragged you into this, whatever this is, so it’s my responsibility to see you home!”
I gave her a look that she couldn’t see. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. We’ll see what’s going on here and from there we’ll make our moves, Twilight.”
“You seem like you’ve been completely lost a time or two.” She commented with a smile.
“A time or two.” I repeated, chuckling a bit at the understatement. “Best bet to find an affordable inn is to start looking on the outskirts of town.”
Twilight frowned. “Yes, we can do that if you’d like to wake up itching and scratching in the morning. I assure you that I have enough bits to keep a nice roof over our heads for as long as it takes for Celestia to send me a leyline permit so I can teleport back home.”
“Didn’t you say you were a Princess? Don’t you have the authority for that?”
“... Shush. Fine. I can feel a leyline faintly, but it’s not exactly close and I don’t think traveling at night is the best idea. Can you spot anything that looks like an inn?”
I took another quick glance around. “No, but if you’ve got the dosh to back up a decent room for the night, I’m pretty sure we need to head in that direction.” I pointed to the end of the street where there seemed to be more light.
“Seems as good a place as any to start. I wonder if we’ve made it to Gryphonia or Germaneigh by accident.” Twilight mused.
“Neither of those are familiar either. Good thing no one’s waiting on me to come home.” I muttered to myself more so than to Twilight. More loudly, I said, “Could you get yourself back home if you knew where you were?”
Twilight gave me a sad look. “I heard what you said before that. If you want to talk about it-”
“I’m good, but thanks for the concern. It’s pretty touching to have a stranger reach out with genuine intent, so really, thanks. Back to brass tacks though; we gotta get a move on. I don’t like being exposed if I don’t have to be.” I gestured for her to follow me and stuck to the side of the road.
I heard her padding along, her shorter strides struggling to keep up with the naturally lengthy ones I’d picked up from casually outpacing tails. I didn’t really want to slow down for her, but I needed her to be able to run if we came into trouble. I didn’t know why protecting her seemed so important to me, but then again I could always blame it on a shred of chivalry and a certain sense of altruism if you will. Said chivalry wasn’t about to make me feel bad about letting her pay for our lodgings, should we be able to find some, but it did help incentivize me to at least see if we could send her home with little to no kerfuffle. I wasn’t really all that worried about where we ended up because why would I be? I’ve survived a week in Hell’s Lavatory with no back up, been on my own most of my adolescent and adult life, and there's always work for a good thief. One just has to know their clientele, and picking a mark is simplicity magnified and rolled together into a single coin. Hell, it’s not like I ever tended to stay in one place long anyway, so I went with the Double Fuck It approach and accepted the new path Fate was taking me on.
We traversed through the town at a decent clip, neither of us saying much until Twilight asked for a break. It was only after about an hour and a half of walking, so I was pretty sure that she was fucked if we got attacked by more than a couple of dumb-muscle thugs. I tried to keep such unpleasant thoughts out of my head, but that’s not how life works, sadly, and those terrible little thoughts of me lying on the ground while she gets taken off to God knows where isn’t exactly my happy place. After a break that was far too long for my tastes, we got moving again, but something tickled my gut and told me to get off of the main streets. I stopped just long enough to grab Twilight’s hand and drag her down an alley, keeping it calm until we broke into the shadows of the side-street before making a mad dash for the nearest corner. Twilight panted hard while we were stopped, but I managed to get her to try and quiet it down by placing a hand over her mouth.
It was dark enough for me to hazard a peek around the corner without being too stressed about it, but what I saw when I looked didn’t make much sense to me. A fucking Minotaur with a giant blade was walking by the alley, looking down it for any sign of us (I assumed) and halted itself right at the exit. I dipped my head back around to look at the remainder of the alley and was glad to see that it had an open side to it as well, so I started pushing Twilight that way so we wouldn’t get killed until death do us part. Clearing the alley was the easy part, but getting Twilight to move above a decent walking pace was torturous.
“Gauche, what are we running from?” She whispered fiercely as I practically dragged her along, not stopping to give her an answer.
“There was a big ass Minotaur with an axe bigger and wider than me, so we’re not sticking around to see if he wants to use it on us. Objections?”
“We could have asked him for directions!” Twilight protested.
I whipped around and let her bounce off of me. “Twilight Sparkle, have you ever actually been in danger?”
“Of course I have! I’ve gone up against Nightmare Moon, Tirek, Chrysalis-”
“When’s the last time you almost got stabbed or decapitated, Lover?” I interrupted.
“Uh…?”
“When’s the last time someone threw a punch at you and it was followed by more than one or two others?”
“... What kind of place are you from?” She asked incredulously.
“One that evidently has better ways of instilling survival instincts into someone-”
“You keep saying some’one’ instead of some’pony’, but you don’t have the physique pof a Dog or a Cat. What are you, Gauche?”
“Something I doubt you’ve heard of.” I grabbed her hand again. “Come on. We’ll find an inn before dawn or we’ll find one in the morning. It shouldn’t be too much longer until the Sun rises anyway.”
“What makes you say that? Celestia generally doesn’t raise the sun until five thirty or so in the morning.” Twilight commented casually.
I gave her a look. “The sky is lightening. Is it that hard to tell?”
“Oh. I thought my watch was right, but I didn’t consider our situation. Sorry.” She apologized sheepishly.
“It’s fine. We’ll have better luck in the daylight anyway.” I replied coolly. It wasn’t something worthy of even saying sorry for, but I had a feeling that Twilight was a scribe or an accountant with her temperament.
“Right. So… Are you hungry at all?” She asked concernedly.
I gave her a quick once over, wondering if she had food on her.. “I’ve got some hardtack and jerky in some of my pouches if you’re a little peckish. The bread’s pretty recent, but the meat is a few weeks old. It’s lamb, so it’s pretty good, but you don’t strike me as much of a meat lover.”
Twilight’s purple face got a little lighter for some reason. “... You’re a carnivore?”
“I don’t know what that means. I eat animals, vegetables and fruit, if that’s what your asking. Cauliflower is terrible and grapefruits are evil, but I eat most stuff.” I said, offering the information since it was harmless.
“I-I’m sorry, I just don’t meet many ponies who eat animals like… Well… Animals.” She gave me a weak, apologetic smile. “Don’t think I’m judging you or anything though! It’s natural for different races to eat different things, after all.”
“Exactly, but that begs the question as to what a carnivore is and why you’re scared of them. I mean, I’ll go ahead and swear to you now that I’m not going to try and bite you or something. Unless that’s your thing, that is.”
“Why would I want you to bite me?” Twilight asked, confused.
“Why not? Maybe you should let me do it once just to see how you feel about it?” I teased mildly.
“... Uh… I don’t really think I want to be bitten, Gauche.”
“Your loss, I think. For all I know you could taste terrible and you just saved me from biting into someone extra salty.”
“Mmm, salt.” Twilight licked her lips. “You wouldn’t happen to have a cube on you, would you?”
“... You eat plain salt?”
“Don’t you?”
“No. Plain salt is awful. It makes a lot of food taste better though, but eating it plain would be like scooping mayonnaise out of a bowl.” I said, my hood covering the distaste on my face. I cast a quick look around as we continued walking and spotted a wooden sign with a bed and quill on it. “And it looks like our inn is right over there.”
“Oh! Good catch, Gauche!” Twilight praised.
“Thanks, Twilight. Now, you might be handling the money, but let me do the talking, okay? The art of the haggle doesn’t strike me as a skill you’ve honed.”
“I’m sure they won’t be unreasonable with their prices, Gauche. Have some faith in your average pony.” She chastised.
I stared at her for a second. “... You are so weird.” I said bluntly. “I don’t know what your homeland is like, but my homeland tries to stab you more often than not. I’m going to keep being paranoid until we find out whether or not you’re in danger, and if we find that it’s pretty reasonably safe for you to get back to where you need to go, then you won’t have to worry about that little thing anymore. For the time being, however, I’m gonna need you to follow my lead so you don’t die.”
“... I really don’t like the idea of being lead around by somepony as paranoid as you appear to be, Gauche. I’ll prove that ponies in general aren’t as bad as you think they are, and when I do, we can move onto teaching you the Magic of Friendship!” She gave me a bright smile that made my stomach churn. “No offense meant, but you seem like a lonely fellow to me, and it’s just too strange to think that you’re going to be so far from home without any friends to lean on.”
“I have plenty of friends,” I lied, “but it’s not like I feel like I need any more. I mean, I’d be fine with adding you to the list, but it’s not a priority, Twilight. Besides, we need to focus on getting you home more than getting me friends.”
“Well, how about this? We find a way to get me home and then we go about figuring out where on Equis you’re supposed to go so we can get you back to your friends. How does that sound?”
“Sounds fine, Twi.” I replied dismissively. “Ready to get off of the streets yet?”
“Right!” She gave me another innocuous smile.
I didn’t have anything to say to that, so I just lead the way over to the inn and held the door open for her as we came inside. The inn itself had the same stone walls that every other building had, but with plenty of spartan, plain looking wooden furniture strewn about the place, most likely so the inn could serve as a restaurant and pub when needed. I liked the familiar atmosphere of the place, but Twilight seemed to be put on edge, though I didn’t really want to ask why. After scoping out the playing field, I managed to lock eyes with another creature that looked like one of Twilight’s kin, but this one was a dark brown with yellow hair that couldn’t be called blonde by any stretch of the imagination. I gave him a nod and he returned it sleepily, so I gently took Twilight’s wrist in my hand and lead her over to the innkeeper.
“Morning, Bruv. Wouldn’t happen to have an open room or two, would you?” I asked casually.
He gave me a long, hard look. “Why don’t you pull that hood down so I can see your face?”
“My face is cursed. The hood is for the safety of your average fellow, not my anonymity.” I lied effortlessly.
“Ah, I see.” The innkeeper hummed. “Well, I got a room with a bed and a sofa for you and your companion since it don’t seem like you two are together, but that’s about it.”
“How much?” I asked briskly.
“Ten bits.”
“Bullshit. I’m willing to do seven.”
“Nine’s the lowest I’ll go.” He droned.
“Eight’s the number I’m willing to part with.” I said severely.
He gave me an amused look. “Bud, I got Minotaur and Griffin guests. A Pony with a messed up face ain’t exactly scary.”
“I’ll fuck you.” I warned.
“... What?” He asked.
“I. Will. Fuck. You.”
“What does that mean?” The guy asked interestedly.
“It means that I’ll put my dick in your butt and you’ll learn what it feels like to shit in reverse.”
“... Seven it is then.” He said blankly.
I turned to Twilight who was blushing up a storm. “Got seven bits?”
She fished them out of her fucking hair and held them out to me. “... You’re not going to fuck me, right?”
“You’d like it; he wouldn’t.” I said casually.
“I don’t think that’s true…” Twilight said nervously.
I shrugged. “How you feel is how you feel.” I turned back to the innkeeper and handed him the copper coins. “So where do we go?”
“Third floor, second room to your left.” He said before fishing a key from its hook on a rack behind him. “Don’t forget to flush the toilet when you’re done. I know they’re weird, but they’re sanitary and it never hurts to have running water.”
“You have an inside well?” I asked.
“What? No, we have a sewer system and a water treatment system like every other town in every other major country.” The guy scoffed.
I didn’t quite get what a water treatment thing was, but I knew my way around a sewer or two. “We’ll be sure to flush the toilet, in any case. How long do we get the room?”
“You gotta be out by ten tomorrow. Call me generous.” He snorted.
“You’re generous.” Twilight said cheerily.
The fellow looked at her and squinted. “Hey cutie, what’s your name?”
Twilight blushed. “Y-You mean me?”
“Well, I can’t exactly see tall, dark, and sketchy’s face, so yeah, you.” He replied frankly.
“Oh, right.” Twilight giggled anxiously. “My name is Twilight Sparkle. I’m Princess Celestia’s former student.”
The innkeeper guy narrowed his eyes. “Leave. Your bits are hush money, so don’t stick around and give me a reason to sell you-”
A bad feeling struck my stomach. “Twilight, head out. I’ll be right behind you after I ask two questions.” I waved her off and she hesitantly started to leave, so I looked back at the innkeeper. Once she was gone, I askled “What’s the skinny on her, Bruv?”
He leaned in and whispered. “You need to get the buck away from her, dude. I don’t know why you don’t know that she’s thenewest Princess, but I do know that it’s going to cost you your life if you don’t get her out of Minosia and into Equestria. That is, if you decide that she’s worth the trouble. Leave out the back and I’ll cover for you.”
‘“She’s naive and practically defenseless. I can’t leave her to die, but I need you to forget that she had a companion. Remember that she was here, just don’t mention me.”
“I’m not trying to get anyone killed here, friend. Go and get her out of Minosia if you’re stuck on being a good guy.”
I dug into a pocket and passed him a gem that I had no real use for. I had plenty of them, so I wasn’t terribly worried. “A little extra for a friendly face.”
He took the bribe with a nod, foolishly closing his eyes as he leaned to far forward, which gave me just enough time to draw my stiletto and stab him in the temple. It was a quick affair to be sure,. And the only reason I killed him was because he was a liar like no other. He was going to sell us out as soon as one of Twilight’s enemies came around, and I knew for a fact that he was going to try and make some coin off of our hides, so I said fuck that guy and had the little rendezvous with Twilight after robbing the register of a few shiny silver pieces and a lot of copper.
When I got Twilight off of the main streets, I lead us deep into an empty alley and took my cloak off before handing it to her. “Here. Get this on so we can get out of town without dying.”
Twilight stared at me openly. “... You’re not a Pony…”
“No, I’m not. Put the cloak on, Twilight. We need to get you out of Minosia as soon as we can possibly do.” I said urgently.
“... Why don’t we just change my face if we’re worried about getting spotted?” Twilight asked. “I think a lot more ponies are going to be suspicious of your face than mine.”
“I don’t want to get you killed by dragging you around on the streets, Lover, and I don’t know how we’re going to witchcraft you into looking like someone else.”
She gave me a smile and the gem on her forehead lit up with a weird purple light that set my teeth on edge and made my skin crawl, but my aversion to witchcraft was tempered by a fascination with what Twilight’s face was doing. Before my very eyes, her outfit changed from a skirt that only came down to her knee (It was pretty obscene in my eyes, but I liked looking. Sue me.) and a strange blouse of some sort to a plain dress that seemed to fit well enough. Her face morphed and her skin changed colors until it was a pale pink and her features distorted until she was a little harder on the eyes than she’d been before. All in all, I wished I could disguise myself like she was doing, but I was wary of signing my soul away for such power.
When she was done, Twilight clapped her hands and smiled. “Alright! The spells took, so we should be fine.”
I nodded, shrugging off the fact that I was talking to a soulless witch. I mean, Twilight's niceness had to be bone deep if she hadn't tried to get me to join her coven yet. Or sacrifice me. Whichever. “Great. Let’s get a move on and find another inn to stay at. After we get you a cloak, that is.”
Twilight gave me an odd look. “Why would I need a cloak?”
“You walk through a strange land, you wear a cloak. That’s just how it is.” I answered.
“... Are you going to get me a cloak even if I say no?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then.” She sighed. “Let’s go get a cloak, I guess.”
“Glad to see that you’re seeing reason.” I offered her my hand after I put my cloak back on “If anyone asks, I’m your adopted brother and we don’t exactly know what I am. If someone doesn’t ask, then kick them in the soft bits and don’t go down without a fight.”
“... Yeah, you’re weird.”
“I’m jaded. There’s a difference.”
“Being jaded is worse than being weird. Once we get to Equestria, I’ll show you that it’s just not necessary.” She smiled like a fool.
I rolled my eyes at her. “You’re going to get us both killed, Twilight. Minosia apparently hates you, and if people don’t know what I am, then I’m willing to bet that I’m not going to be doing my ‘Alive Dance’ anytime soon.”
“What’s your Alive Dance look like?” Twilight asked.
I smirked. “It looks like a series of pelvic thrusts.”
“O-kay.”
I grabbed her wrist and started walking. “I get it. I’m weird and you’re too nice. Let’s keep it moving while we can.”
“Right.” Twilight said, following along faithfully. It took her a few minutes and some time out in the open to ask, “Gauche? Why don’t we just just find the nearest Teleportation Station and we’ll get to Equestria that way? It’ll be a little pricey, but I have the bits to get us home.”
“Sounds good to me. Are there security checks at these Teleportation Stations?”
“Of course! However, my Alicorn Magic shouldn’t be affected by anything the Minosians can come up with, so we should be good to go in disguise.”
“Great.” I nodded.
A few more minutes passed in silence until people started petering onto the streets, most of them Minotaurs. A few of the people were what I would assume humanized Griffins to look like, but for the most part, Twilight and I traveled to the market unaccosted. It was easy to tell where the Town Square was because most people were heading there, but when we finally managed to find a cloak in Twilight’s size, it took a lot for us to get another inn further from the inner territories of town. We learned that we were currently in a place called Grey Grotto and that it was not a Pony-friendly place, so getting Twilight covered up still a good move, even if we didn’t have to worry about the whole her being a Princess thing.
We managed to snag a room at a different inn, and this time it was seven bits from the open, so Twilight stepped in and took the sell before I could haggle, but I wasn’t exactly pushing for her to save her money anymore after learning that she was actually truly royalty. She could probably afford whatever she wanted and then some, so I didn’t feel bad about letting her overpay for a shitty bed and a wooden chair in a room. After we got settled in and Twilight was sitting on the bed, I figured it was time for her to try and catch some shuteye, but my ‘new friend’ had a few questions.
“Hey Gauche? Would you mind telling me a little bit about yourself?” She asked from the bed.
I was sitting propped up against the wall next to said bed, so I looked up and answered with, “There’s a lot to say, but the short story is that I’m the repossession specialist. I get to places and take stuff that people had no business getting without the coin to back it up, and I reclaim stolen goods.” I lied brutally. “Other than that, you’ve just got a guy who doesn’t stay still long and loves to wander.”
“What about your friends? What are they like?” She asked curiously.
“Lover, why don’t we just call it a night? Get some rest and we’ll talk more when you wake up.”
“It’s only been about eighteen hours for me. I’m good to go until tomorrow.” Twilight answered with a small yawn.
“That yawn was good enough. I’m not trying to bitch at you, but you’re going to need some rest so we can get it moving.” I replied a little tersely.
“I’m not tired, but I can tell that you are. Why don’t you take the bed while I watch the door for anypony suspicious?” Twilight asked.
“So you do have some sort of preservation instinct.” I chuckled.
“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but I guess I do.”
I let myself rest against the wall and closed my eyes. “I’ll sleep for a couple hours and we’ll switch off and on until it’s time to get a move on.”
“Sounds fine by me.” Twilight said cordially.
We didn’t speak after that, but Twilight did start singing me a melody that was soothing and pleasant to hear, but I didn’t understand the language she was singing in. I do know, however, that my eyelids made their way downwards and stayed there for eight hundred breaths, give or take ten to fifteen extra. Once I was rested, I insisted that Twilight at least try to sleep, and lo’ and behold, the foolhardy one was out within minutes. It was nice to have a little peace, even if I was starting to get worried about living in a world where the people come in rainbow colours, Minotaurs walk the streets freely, and Griffins are no longer the stuff of legends. It didn’t look like I was in the best of situations, but on the other hand, if I could make it through, then I had a friendly Princess who would most likely owe me a favour or two after everything was said and done.
Just before the fourth hour of Twilight's slumber came, I heard a soft popping noise come from the other side of the bed, so I sat up and looked over Twilight’s sleeping form to see a blue woman with a dark blue gem in her forehead and a weird head of hair that billowed in an unfelt breeze, littered with dots and pinpricks of lights and the occasional streak of a shooting star going through her locks. We made eye contact and she narrowed her eyes at me, so I gave her a little wave with my right hand and prepared a smoke pellet with my left.
“Who art thou?” The blue woman demanded.
“Name’s Garrison, but most people call me Gauche. Who are you, and why are you trespassing in a room that’s not yours?” I asked tensely.
She raised her chin and frowned a little harder. “I am Princess Diana De Luna.” She announced loudly, startling Twilight into the conscious world.
“Who!? Wait! What!?” Twilight cried. “What the- Where am I?”
“Twilight, calm down. We’re in Minosia.” I reminded.
She rubbed her eyes and looked at me. “Did you wake me up for my turn?”
“Your ‘turn’?” Princess Luna asked tersely. “Princesses do not require ‘turns’.”
“Luna!?” The younger woman jolted and her head whipped around to face her. “Luna! Oh, you have no idea how glad I am to see you!”
The blue bitch gave her a dirty look. “You could not find the spare Magic to send a letter for your retrieval?”
“Well, we were supposed to go find a leyline or the Teleportation Station so we could get back home in a few more hours.” Twilight answered nervously.
Luna scowled. “If you had used the other half of your brain to actually think, then you would have started mediation and sapped the ambient Magic from the world around you so you could have just teleported back to Ponyville.”
“But what about Gauche? He didn’t choose to be here either, and he’s been really nice about trying to help me stay out of trouble!”
Luna glared at me. “And you know that he has not been causing this trouble how?”
“Well, for one, Twilight likes to walk in dark alleys and talk to Minotaurs that stalk the streets at night with battle axes the size of people.” I scoffed.
“We didn’t know that the Minotaur was a bad guy! He could have pointed us to the Teleportation Station for all we know!” The formerly purple Princess argued.
“Or, and I’m just saying here, he could have grabbed both of your arms and seen which one pops off first.” I said condescendingly.
Twilight gave me a look. “If you assume the worst in ponies, then why have you been so adamant about helping me?”
“... There’s exceptions to every rule, and I’m assuming that your Princess pal is here to make sure that I’m not one of them.”
Luna scoffed. “Are you a citizen of Equestria?”
“No, he’s a citizen of Avalesce, but-”
“Then he has no place in Equestria. Say your goodbyes, Twilight Sparkle.” Luna demanded.
Twilight looked between the two of us and let her eyes settle on me before she got off of the bed and offered me a hand up. I took it for politeness sake, but did most of the lifting myself. “Gauche… I-”
“You’ve got a country to help run, Twilight. I’m sure your business is more important than making sure some random guy gets home.” I said giving her a quick hug.
Well, it was supposed to be quick, but she held on. “If you ever come to Equestria, find me in Ponyville and I promise that you’ll have a place there if you don't want to go home.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle and give her a little squeeze. “God above, you remind me of someone. I’ll be careful, Twilight, so just do me a favour and be skeptical every once in awhile, okay?”
She let me go and tilted her head. “Who do I remind you of?”
“Someone I don’t think I’ll see for a long time. Take care, new friend.” I gave her a little smile.
“Take care, Gauche.” Twilight looked to Luna and opened her mouth, but before she could even say a word, they were both gone.
I had nothing else to do and no desire to stay inside any longer than I had to, so I opened the window in the room and looked out to the streets, the Sun high in the sky and limiting what all I could do. I figured I might as well ply my trade and see if I could come up with some fences and the like. In other words, I was getting down to business, making my mark and taking what I could from the world I found myself on. After a few minutes of quiet reconnaissance, I sat down on the bed Twilight had previously occupied and thought about my sister. She wasn’t much younger than me, and she’d always been a bit of a straight-laced goober, kinda like Twilight. Both seemed rather bright, rather compassionate, and quite trusting, which I assumed was a part of the real reason I was so occupied with making sure Twilight stayed safe. They might not have looked anything like each other, but I liked Twilight in the same way I’d loved my sister, and that wasn’t something I wanted to dwell on since it made my heart heavy and my body feel weary. Aria’s passing never left me in a good mood, so I laid down and tried to catch a little more rest before nightfall.