//------------------------------// // A Trip Back Home // Story: Closer to the Void // by Sixes_And_Sevens //------------------------------// The inner workings of a TARDIS were complex and well-ordered. They were, after all, designed and built by Time Lords, and that meant that chaos was exceedingly unwelcome. When the TARDIS had still been on Gallifrey, its builders had sealed off many of the engine works, on the grounds that the systems were foolproof and utterly infallible. If one were to find themself inside one of these boxes (a highly unlikely occurrence), and squinted quite hard in the faint red light that most definitely should never have turned on, the shape of a face might be seen for the briefest of moments before they were electrocuted. Sparks flew as wires that had previously been functioning perfectly normally suddenly went dead. The red light vanished, but the sound of dark chuckling echoed around the chamber for some time after. The difficulty with utterly infallible systems is, whenever they DO fall, it is very hard to get at them. And the trouble with foolproof systems is that they often fail to account for clever people. Particularly highly malevolent clever people… *** Ponyville, Fall of 4 H.E.: The Doctor shrunk back in terror from the gray shadow looming over him. “No!” he gasped, cowering from the menacing objects being thrust at him. “Please, Ditzy! How could you do this to me?” The pegasus gave him a flat look, continuing to hold out the paperwork. “I already told you, if you want to move back in, you’re going to have to get a job. Post officers don’t exactly get much pay.” “But I don’t do that sort of thing!” the Doctor protested. “I told you how my interviews went!” “Well, the University said your resume was nothing short of astonishing.” “Yeah, but it’s been a month, and they haven’t called me back. Just because I fixed their Extremely Large Telescope…” “You turned it into a toaster.” “I turned it into a multipurpose device,” the Doctor corrected. “They can see the stars twice as well now, and have breakfast while they’re doing it!” Ditzy sighed. “Well, what about town hall? It’s only been a week since your interview there. You might still get the job as the mayor’s secretary.” “They don’t think I’ve got the political experience,” he said moodily. “What?” Ditzy gasped. “That’s absurd.” “I know! I told them how I overturned an entire government in six words, and they showed me the door.” Ditzy winced. “Er, I meant… you said you used to be the President of Gallifrey, right?” “Oh, yeah, that too. Served for almost a fortnight!” “I thought a fortnight was two weeks.” “It is, yes.” “Oh.” “And let’s not even go into what happened at Hayburger!” “Well, you did question whether what you were serving was even food.” “A valid question! If you saw those kitchens, you’d say just the same.” “Well, you’ll just have to keep trying,” Ditzy said firmly. “Awww…” He flopped onto his side. “Can’t we just sell the house and live in the TARDIS?” he whined. His wife gave the blue box a long, thoughtful stare. “We could,” she conceded, “but I’d rather not. Anyway, that won’t do much for keeping food on the table.” “I-- well-- no, I suppose not…” A sly smile crossed his face. “But I know what might…” Ditzy Doo gave her husband a worried look. “Pocket, are you planning to do something illegal?” “Who, me? No, of course not. Well. Mostly not. It’s pretty much legal. I mean, no one’s actually written up any laws against it.” “Oh. Well... that’s alright then, I suppose,” said Ditzy, starting to smile. “Um, what exactly are you planning?” The Doctor’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Oh, just a little trip to the bank… back in my home universe, I’ve made myself a pretty penny on investments, and an absolute fortune in interest.” Ditzy’s eyebrows raised. “Going home already?” she asked, half-teasing, half-concerned. He smirked. “Well. Not alone, I think. It’ll make for a nice vacation for you and Dinky.” “Really?” He nodded, suddenly stoic. “I promised you both that I wasn’t going to leave you behind again, and that is one promise that I am absolutely going to keep.” Ditzy beamed. “Oh, wow, first time in the TARDIS and we’re already travelling to another universe! I’d better go get Twilight, she’d never forgive me if I didn’t let her come along.” She darted away before the Doctor could protest. He stared after her for a long moment after she had left. "I meant... a family trip..." *** Much later that afternoon, a quartet of ponies had gathered around the deceptively small blue box. They were all uncomfortably aware of the loud banging noises and alien curses from the interior. Finally, Pinkie raised a hoof and knocked. The door opened and a little unicorn filly poked her face out. “Oh. Hi. Come on in, the repairs are almost done.” “Hiya, Dinky!” Pinkie chirped. “Isn’t this exciting? A whole new universe full of all sorts of weird aliens and things! I can’t wait to meet them all and throw a big Hello-New-Friends party!” She bounced through the door. “It’ll have to be a really, really big party, too! I’ve never had a party for an entire universe before. Maybe I should just take it one planet at a time.” “Repairs?” Applejack asked Twilight nervously. The alicorn just responded with a shrug and stepped aboard, followed by Rainbow Dash and (rather more hesitantly) by Applejack. The control room was as beautiful as ever, though it still smelled faintly of tree sap. In the center of the room was the Doctor. His hair was slightly more messy than usual, blackened, and smoldering just a little bit. He glanced up at the sound of hoofsteps and grinned at his new friends. “All aboard?” he asked cheerfully. “Where’s the rest of you Elements, then?” “Well, Flutters was kind of nervous about this whole ‘time travel’ thing.” Rainbow said, rather more evenly than the Doctor had been expecting, considering her abrasiveness the last time they had spoken. “And Rares had a big dress order t’ fill on a tight deadline,” Applejack added. “Spike stayed behind ta help her out. Trixie's helpin' her model, so she's out, too.” “But she did tell us to take some pictures of your universe’s fashion styles,” Twilight said. “I hope that’s alright?” “It’ll be fine,” Ditzy assured her. “It won’t even leave a mark on the space-time continuum. It’s pretty resilient, at that.” “Right!” the Doctor shouted, flipping over several switches, “Popping back off to my proper universe, family in tow, a few new friends along for the ride…” He grinned broadly as the familiar grinding, wheezing sound of the dematerialization circuit began. “Allons-y!” The grin dropped, however, as the materialization noise suddenly shuddered to a halt. “What?” He stared at the console. “Doctor? What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, concerned. The Time Lord tapped on the glass of a gauge that was pointing straight to zero. “Best guess, I’d say that the engine stopped,” he said, frowning. “It’s been awhile since that last happened, and it’s usually a sign of a much larger problem. I’d better go and have a look…” “Ah’ll help.” “Oh, that’s fine, really--” “Nope, ah won’t hear a word against it. Come on, we got us a motor t’ fix!” “It’s a bit more complicated than that!” the Doctor said, running after Applejack. There was a brief, awkward silence. The Doctor was really the only one who knew how to do anything with the TARDIS, and his departure left everyone slightly off-balance. “Well!” Twilight said brightly, “Let’s just see where we are, then!” She tried to push open the doors, but they wouldn’t budge. “Um. Can somepony lend me a hoof?” “Why don’t we just check the viewscreen?” Ditzy suggested, pointing at the monitor suspended on the Time Rotor. Dash stared blankly at the array of instruments around the room. “Oh…kay, how do we do that?” Ditzy paused. “Fair point,” she conceded. “Anyone see a user’s manual?” “Here ya go!” Pinkie cheered, pulling a thick book out from beneath a railing. There was a lengthy pause. Finally, Dinky said, “Pinkie, where did you find that?” “In this air vent! Someone was using it to prop it open, but I think it’d work better without the book in the way.” “...Okay. Great!” said Twilight, recovering quickly. “Let’s take a look inside.” “Uhh, I dunno how much luck you’re going to have with that, Twi.” Rainbow said, peering over Pinkie’s shoulder. “What? Why?” Pinkie, unusually perplexed, held up the book so Twilight could see. She studied it for a moment. “...What’s with all the circles?”