//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Equestria Girls - Order of No Boredom; 
// by chbedok 
//------------------------------//

Sour Sweet screamed as a trio of gibbering creature leered and slobbered at her while she perched precariously atop a flimsy plastic table, and fended them off with a similarly fragile plastic chair.

"Go into town today, mom said! Get some sun, she said! Don't play games all day in your room where its SAFE!" 

A wayward swing of her chair exposed Sour Sweet's back to the most opportunistic of the three she faced. Who lept at her and dragged her down with long, gangly arms ending in grasping hair-knotted fingers. Before hoisting his captive squirming, and yelling, over a deformed shoulder. Its arm wrapped comfortably around a slender waist as the beast gibbered at its compatriots, intent as it was on keeping its prize all to itself. 

"Sour Sweet!"

"Sunset?! Help me!"

In a blur of fire and gold, one of the creatures got its head damn near kicked clean off its shoulders as the blow sent it tumbling into a nearby ice-cream cart. Scattering the kids who had chosen the vehicle as a hiding place. The second creature raised its arms and only managed a brief display of threatening disapproval before Sunset thrust the entirety of her weight, through her shoulder, into the beast's vulnerable torso. Taking the creature off its clawed feet and pitching it into the water.

Breaking left and dropped forward; Sunset's sweeping kick scythed the monster's ankles out from under its knees, cracking its sneering, imp-like head on the wood-plank floor. Sunset then sprang up, snatching Sour - Sweet out of the air while her single bound cleared both the monster's unconscious body and the plastic table against which it had put its back.

"Sour Sweet, are you alright?!"

"Damn, Sunset. That catsuit shows off your ass."

With an ululating yell, another of the beasts closed in on Sunset with wildly flailing arms. Stepping aside, Sunset dumped a screaming Sour - Sweet off her shoulder into the beast's obliging arms before stepping in and snapping a straight right across a pointed chin that covered the creatures overly large eyes with a dull glaze of unconsciousness as its knees gave way.

From the ground, Sour - Sweet groaned.

"Ok, fine. The catsuit does not make your ass work. Please don't do that again."

Chuckling, Sunset Shimmer reached over and pulled Sour - Sweet to her feet. Just as another series of hooting yells echoed from amidst the stalls and another pack of gibbering, gangly armed beasts loped out onto the pier. 

"Right," Sour - Sweet whispered as she bladed her hands and raised them before her face, a feeble imitation of Sunset's posture beside her. "This is your area of expertise, what's the plan?"

"Try to hold out until I think of one."

"What an great plan, which is to plan a plan while I fight off an overwhelming number of monsters with no training whatsoever, all alone. Plan-ception!"

There then was a sudden roar which drowned out the incessant gibbering, followed by a store-front disintegrating as a human-shaped train rolled out onto the pier in an unholy riot of incoherent bellowing, ground-shaking stomps, and yells of terrified pain. Scattering the pack, and plowing what couldn't escape over the pier and into the water.

"THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE JERUSALEM EXPRESS, NEXT STOP; SPLASHVILLE! POPULATION; ALL YOU HEATHEN-BORN OF LILITH'S INFERNAL WOMB!"





Staff Vine was silent as his boots pounded the grass, each stomp devouring the inches between him and the waterhole, while his echoing breaths accompanied his charge down the hill. Halfway down the slope, he noticed the now visible beasts turning their backs to him as the pack moved closer to the watering hole, which suited his purposes as he locked on to one of the straggling animals before veering towards his right, directing the momentum of his charge towards his target.

The closer Staff Vine got, keeping silent became a natural impossibility. And quickly, the rearmost members of the pack stopped and perked their squashed, impish heads up as the stomping got both louder and faster. Finally, one of the monsters turned to follow the sound.

Somewhere far up the hill, a figure could be seen running down the slope.

The creature blinked slowly in confusion.

The creature blinked again, wondering what to make of the angry thing bearing down on it, way up the slope of the hill.

Finally, the monster decided to open its jaws to alert its pack members.

"BY SAINT ATTILA'S ARMAMENTS!"

And it got a faceful of shield for its troubles. 

Unyielding, unrelenting, Staff Vine's shield-fronted charge tore through the ranks of the monster pack. Followed by a wall, and subsequently pitched all the monsters caught by his fury into the water.

"'Jerusalem Express.' 'Next stop; splashville.' 'Population; all you Heathen-born of Lilith's womb.' Staff Vine, you've got the touch."

"You! You tin-canned cunt!"

That was a familiar voice; Staff Vine thought as he angled himself around to his right, following the sound of outrage directed at him. After all, he recognized that insult and the freckle-faced, rose-haired firebrand to whom it belonged.

"D'aww," Staff Vine cooed, "So cute."

"It's him! Sunset! That's the Knight I told you about!"

Sunset? So she does not have a secret identity. Staff Vine surmised as he followed the cute girl's gaze up to her companion. A flame-wreathed goddess in a very appealing mask and catsuit combination. The golden sash, gloves, and boots accented the deep orange of the primary material. And drawing attention to the temptingly smooth curve of her hips, and the velvet-soft strength of her legs.

"Fetching ensemble, lady of gold. However, you're practically naked!"

Lazily, Staff Vine's flail unfurled and shattered the upended deck table by his feet. He then dropped to a knee and picked up two of the more substantial fragments, which he pressed into Sunset's hands.

"There. It's not much, but it should suffice for vermin."

Chuckling, Staff Vine then stepped forward and dropped into a crouch behind his shield. His flail folded over itself and resting on his shoulder as he scraped his boots off on the wooden floor. Facing what remained of the creatures as the pack regrouped for a final charge.

"Our opponents outnumber us, Ladies. But if we took the initiative, we might be able to kill most of them before they rally against us."

"We can't kill them!"

Staff Vine didn't take his eyes off the creatures stalking towards the trio. However, he placed his weight on his back foot and leaned back to listen as Sunset frantically continued.

"These things are native to my homeworld, they are called Gibbering Giblets, and they are more mischievous than destructive. I want to send them back to where they belong, but I can't send corpses home."

"Native to your homeworld? What manner of country births such hideous devilry from its soil?" Staff Vine hissed harshly over his shoulder, "So be it; I will buy you some time. Plan quickly!"

Howling, Staff Vine charged and threw himself shield first into the fray. The first Giblet, caught by surprise, blocked the edge of Staff Vine's shield with its jaw as the iron rim snapped the lower half of its face sideways into next week. Cutting past the Giblet's shoulder, Staff Vine stepped through and whipped around into a sharp semi-circle. Yanking the Giblet backward and pivoting, Staff Vine effortlessly flung the helpless animal onto the second pair of Giblets stalking closers on his left.

Leaving that mess to sort itself and barging through a gap in the enemy formation, Staff Vine jabbed the haft of his flail into the throat of the third Giblet who faced him. The impetus of which pulled him into the retching beast's guard and lined Staff Vine's shoulder up under the Giblet's arm. Stomping sideways, Staff Vine barged into his foe and shoved the thrashing creature into its kin. Knocking them over before trampling anything within reach, bullying his way towards the last of the Giblets still standing. 

Finally, unfurling his flail, Staff Vine threw the ball-and-chain around the third Giblet's ankle and heaved viciously, jerking the monster off its feet and onto its back before stomping hard on the downed creature's face. Carried away by the exhilaration of combat, Staff Vine raised his foot again, yelling.

"RADIANCE TAKE YOU DEMONS! ANTIOCH DISCHARGE!"

The subsequent flash of silver light blazed furiously for a moment of brilliantly brief purity. Consequently, all that was left of the Giblets when the glare died away were piles of ash which were soon swept away by the shockwave of Staff Vine's stomp.

"What have you done?"

Staff Vine raised his hands and stepped back while quickly replied.

"I don't know! I was aiming to stun, not kill."

"Shit. I guess something is stunned if it can no longer move. Ever again."

Staff Vine gestured at the freckled girl with rose-colored hair.

"The cute one has a point."

"Mr. Knight," Sunset groaned as she massaged the bridge of her nose, "Those Giblets you slaughtered are native creatures of Equestria, who serve a vital role in the natural ecosystem. You might have just caused irreparable damage to Equestria's environment with your carelessness!"

"Hold, lady Sunset," Staff Vine began, "Firstly, I'm not a biologist, but I'm confident that my Equestria does not have ungodly demons as part of its vital ecosystems. Secondly, I did tell you to plan quickly. Third, I have no idea why my Antioch Discharge vaporized those creatures when I intended to put them on the ground, but it might have something to do with your clothes falling apart. Lastly, the crowd is returning, and I must disappear. Fade away into the sunset, as mysteriously as I arrived. Adieu!"

Leaving Sunset to scramble at her catsuit flaking off her body in large, withering pieces. Staff Vine was about to go when a someone's hand reached down and clamped down on his shoulder.

"Oh no you don't, you tin-canned cunt!" The freckled girl snapped as she tugged ineffectually hard at Staff Vine's shoulder armor, "Sunset and I aren't done with you yet!"

Giggling, Staff Vine reached over and patted the girl's head as he said.

"Fair maiden of freckles, I must depart. I may be needed elsewhere, and you have no power to make me stay."

By the time the crowd returned to the pier and started hailing Sunset as the hero of the hour. Staff Vine was out of sight, past the oak tree atop the hill, and running to catch the next bus home.