//------------------------------// // The Truth Unleashed (part 3) // Story: The Truth About Girls (Vol. 3) // by TheMareWhoSaysNi //------------------------------// They all had insisted: they ignored the truth about her mother’s death and they ignored why her father told her they all knew about it. They had the exact same story than her. Pinkie Promise and everything. So, Rainbow Dash put this down to alcohol… like so many other things. The ratio of power between father and daughter now seemed to have shifted. It apparead clearly that although she wasn’t a model of stability, at least, she was trying to do something to battle over her trauma, while her father drowned his grief in alcohol. At first, taken in her own pain and struggle with PTSD, she hadn’t fully realized it. It was only once back from Green Haven that it became clear for her. Little by little, she had witnessed the degradation of this man, yet always very clean-cut during days but who let his vices get the best of him once the suit of the respectable CEO was taken off. Because they were in permanent strives, and that whatever she could say, it seemed like her opinions and point of views were never worth anything for him, she hadn’t been able to reach out a hand to him. And yet, she could remember many phone calls in the middle of the night, coming from these luxurious bars he liked so much, asking her with restraint, to find a solution to drive Mr. Rainbow Blaze back home… Pretty often, he wasn’t even in Canterlot but she somehow had to find a way to get him back to his hotel safe and sound. There had been times when she had been obliged to come and pick him up, going through the city with a cab, at an hour when her classmates all were sound asleep. Sometimes, even, the effects of the sleeping pills she had taken before made her head spin and she herself wasn’t in a state where it’s recommended to get out. This was the reality of her daily life. When she wasn’t left out to the deepest sort of loneliness, she had to struggle against that broken man trying to look contented by watering her of reproaches. After the girls were gone, she had stayed a whole hour alone with Soarin. They both agreed it wouldn’t be a good idea that she would go back home with her father, at least for now. The best to do was to settle at Applejack’s during holidays, since the young man’s apartment couldn’t take her tortoise Tank in, that she refused to leave behind for such a long period. Then, it was Shining Armor’s turn to visit her. He wanted her to confirm her father’s side of the story. In order to make sure things were clear once and for all, she once again certified that no, he hadn’t pushed her in the stairs. She had a seizure and her convulsions had made her fall. Nothing else. As far as her bruise on the temple was concerned… Well, that was something else. What she aspired now was to find back this peace of mind she had been able to aquire in months, although she knew it would be a little more complicated now that she was aware of some details. Dramas, screams and tears were the opposite of what she wanted now. Blaming her father of assault and battery would have been easy, but what would it have brought to her in the end? A revenge? It was childish and useless; she didn’t need to take her revenge to feel better. In fact, it wouldn’t make her feel better at all. In order to get back to this peace of mind, she could only rely on herself. And on her friends as well as Soarin’s support. The night was falling, and Rainbow Dash didn’t feel like watching TV or reading. Being pinned to this hospital bed for days to make sure she was psychologically ready to go back home wasn’t easy for her, used to see people, to go to town, to do sports… but it wasn’t as if she could do anything about it. The effects of the storm that had attacked the city last night had disappeared. Now, nature seemed to be quieter, like after a long and perilous crossing. The colors of the setting sun, with its sky of pastel hues, looked like a living painting, and she regretted not to have a camera within her reach, so she could capture the beauty of what was under her eyes. A slight knock resounded against her door, but Rainbow Dash didn’t really pay attention, until she heard the steps against the tiled floor. Out of a thousand gaits, she would always be able to recognize this one, just by hearing it. When she turned her head, her suspicions got confirmed. It was her father, indeed, sober and obviously freshly showered. Between his hands laid a box, and on his face, a sheepish air that he often displayed when he knew he had done something wrong but had no intention of saying it out loud. Immediately, she could feel all her muscles, as well as her jaw, getting tensed. She turned her head again, hoping she would find back the sweet sensation she had felt when looking at the sunset. But now the horizon had lost its charms, since it suddenly turned black and orange, as if a fire was catching into space. “I don’t want to see you. Go away!” Despite her order, said with enough bile to make anyone a bit wise get away, he kept on walking her way, and sat on the chair beside her bed. Rainbow Dash kept on staring at the horizon, while she could feel something was put on her laps – probably the box her father had in his hands. “The lady of the cashier told me it was perfect for someone stuck on a hospital bed with a cast…” Seeing his face gave rise again to an aggressiveness she thought she had buried inside, which Dr. Horse had told him in fact wasn’t targeted at her father, but at her mother, which death she felt like an abandonment. And, she really wanted him to understand that this time, it wouldn’t be so easy and would take more than a simple gift to arrange everything… if things have ever been arranged… Off his own bat, Rainbow Blaze opened the box and took the items which were inside, trying to create a reaction from his daughter. “There’s a hairgrip, a soft tartan rug, a neck-warming cushion, fruity candies, a leather bookmark, scented candles and a Shadow Spade novel. You like detective stories, don’t you?” No answer. No look in his direction, or even towards the gifts. “It’s the boutique’s most expensive box…” All he got was a jerk of her shoulders, some kind of muffled and short chuckle, tinged with irony. He closed the box, pushed it at the feet of the bed. His eyes slipped along Rainbow Dash’s cast, on which Pinkie Pie had fun drawing all kind of things with a pink felt pen, taking the advantage of her friend couldn’t do nothing much about it. This, as well as the book, the magazines and the macaroon box on the bedside table let him know that, out of Soarin, her bunch of friends had also visited her. He suspected it a little, but noting that, he had been slow to catch on, once again, was something rather unpleasant. A heavy silence weighed above their heads for a few minutes, before Rainbow Blaze, who couldn’t stand it, opened his mouth again. On the other hand, Rainbow Dash kept on staring at the horizon, getting dark every minute… “Rainbow Dash… Speak to me…” Oh, he wanted her to speak to him? Yet he was the one visiting her, and insisting for staying here though she had notified she didn’t want to see him. But if he wanted her to say things so much, well then, fine. He would have only himself to blame. “How does it feel?” “I beg your pardon?” “I said: how does it feel? Speaking to someone who doesn’t answer you, who doesn’t even look at you? Do you feel like you’re worth something for that person?” They both knew what it was going to cause. This conversation, the necessary evil to say everything thad had been concealed under the carpet, they were going to have it. Whether he was ready or not didn’t matter much to Rainbow Dash. He wanted her to speak, she was going to speak. This time, he couldn’t get out of it with a trick. At least, that was what she hoped. “You’re being unfair!” She had to bite her bottom lip not to scream. It was always this way… He had a gift to make things turn his way. There was no doubt this behavior had good results with his stockholders and employees, but she was no part of his damn company… She was his family. The only family had had left. And so, she turned around finally, clenching her fists around the sheets to make sure she wouldn’t explode. “I am being unfair? How amazing!” “Listen… I’m sorry about last night. I really am. I’m going to treat myself and it won’t ever happen again. I promise.” “Your promises have no weight with me. You always promise the earth but that’s all you can do. And… Do you really think this is all about last night?” In front of the obviously confused face of her father, she once again let out a short ironic chuckle, and clenched her fists a bit tighter, this time to make sure the tears coming up into her eyes wouldn’t let her speech sound incomprehensible. “Do you know what one of my oldest memory is? I should have been something like five… I drew something for Mommy and you on Parents’ Day. Not very beautifully handled, of course, I’ve never really been gifted plus I was in kindergarten. Mommy thanked me and encouraged me to do better, but you said something like: “if she’s as smart as she can draw, she’ll never do anything good with her life!”. And you thought that was hilarious… The truth is... I’ve never been good enough for you. I probably have played a hundred of sports competition since I’m a little girl and I can’t even remember seeing you even once. Instead, you’ve forced me to take ballet lessons, though I hated it and was as graceful as a goat, in exchange of the right to play all the sports I really enjoyed, but even this, once you’ve understood you wouldn’t be able to boast in ambassy balls about your daughter’s ballet exploits, you instantly stopped giving me a ride there or attending any shows. All I get from you since I was born are reproaches. You never support me, you never care about what I can do, what I’m good at, because you only feel disdain for these kind of things. I know you’ve always been ashamed of me.” “No, it’s wrong!” “Oh, please! I don’t even remember how many times you’ve told me you were ashamed. In person, face to face. And not always because you were drunk… Do you want to know something? When, in Green Haven, I started group therapies with other persons who had PTSD, I realized each of the participants went home at night but I was forced to stay, because you didn’t want to help me, you didn’t want to support me. Instead, you chose to stash me in an institute!” “It was for your own good, Rainbow Dash. You would never have healed, otherwise.” “Tell this to your “friends” if you want to be believed but don’t tell that to me. In the hospital, right after my suicide attempt, you said you refused me to “turn into a wreck who can’t fight” although I was calling you for help. But you… You gave up on me.” She sneezed in an ungraceful way, and realized the tears she hadn’t been able to keep inside were blurring her vision, preventing her from seeing her father’s face clearly, overwhelmed by the blames. Only when she wiped them off with the back of her hand did she notice his cheeks also were damp. Her words had hit him where it hurt. Good! It had to get out, from each side, the pus had to be drenched in order to heal the wounds. “I just couldn’t, Rainbow Dash… I couldn’t handle this. I didn’t have to stomach for it, can you understand?” “Of course, I understand you were suffering as well. You loved Mommy, although you both were rarely on the same wavelength. But we both were in the same hell and do you know what families usually do in moments like this? They support each other! Look at Applejack’s… They all stuck together and been able to do well, much quicker than we did. I’m not saying it would’ve been easy, I’m not saying we wouldn’t have had difficulties to overcome, but at least, we would’ve been together. We would’ve been a family. But this couldn’t happen. Because you don’t love me.” “This isn’t true, Rainbow Dash… I love you, but…” “But what? Why should there be a “but” after those words?” “It’s just that… your mother and you were so close, so symbiotic… You always regarded her as your heroe and I could never find where I belonged between you two.” “So what? You’ve decided the best to belong was to keep telling me how mediocre I was and how different I should have been to be worth something in your eyes? If I did saw Mommy as my heroe, it was because she was always trying to make me do my best, because she considered who I was to be a good start to become a better person, that we could always be a better person. Because she could lecture me if I behaved in the wrong way but then cuddle me to say goodnight. While you were complaining, screaming at me and buying me fancy stuff thinking it would mean you loved me. This isn’t how things are supposed to be.” “Why haven’t you told me this earlier, Rainbow Dash?” “Because you never wanted to listen to me. You were fleeing me…” “But I’m listening to you now. And I will listen to you again. I’m going to be cured, and we’ll rebuild our bond. What happened last night made me realize something was wrong… Well, I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t able to take actions. I’m lost without your mother, Rainbow Dash. I’m nothing but the shadow of who I used to be. She used to… to exalt me.” When Rainbow Blaze and Firefly had met, they both were barely twenty years-old. He was studying in a prestigious university, while she was doing all kind of casual works in order to pay for her pilot lessons and get the flying license. The son of an already very rich businessman, he had no other aspirations than being a specialist in tourism, preferably in aviation, while she had a head full of dreams. By falling in love with her and deciding to get married at a young age, against his parents’ will, especially his father’s, who was very conservative, she had turned him into some romantic heroe, ready to break the social barriers for love, ready to turn his back with the world which had built his character and fed him. They both had to overcome many ordeals in order to be together. Almost bankrupted, but very inventive, they had been able to hiss themselves above all those trials, until they had become one of the wealthiest families of the country, with the Canterlot Airlines purchase and Firefly’s integration into the Royal Aerobatics Float. If he never had met her, Rainbow Blaze knew he would never have become who he was today. She had always encouraged him to think big, to target high, while taking into account his own abilities and skills, without trying to be who he wasn’t. This she had tried to do with her daughter as well, successfully, but he had failed to it. Pathetically. Yet, it was how similar they both were which had partly encouraged him to act this way with his daughter. Because in the way she talked, in the way she behaved, she reminded him too much of his late wife, he eventually hadn’t been able to bear seeing her becoming a woman, right under his eyes, and to confront himself with her face, until tonight, had been too hard for him. Unless she was in pain and her magenta eyes were filled with looks he had never seen Firefly display. Today, he was realizing that, despite the resemblance, Rainbow Dash was Rainbow Dash, another person, her own person, and not the painful reminder of his lost love. He wanted to get to know her again, to make up for wasted time. She was so young… It couldn’t be too late. “I also feel lost without her. But I’ve learned how to make do with it, because there’s no other choice. She will never come back. It hurts, yet it’s the truth.” “I know… I know…” Silence fell back into Rainbow Dash’s room, but this time, it went along some kind of peace, the same than the sky now tinted with the Prussian blue which came after a storm. It seemed that all that had to be said has been said. Except maybe the most important detail, for Mr. Rainbow Blaze. This answer from his daughter which would tell him everything wasn’t in ruins and deprived of redemption. “The candies from the box… Are they dried fruits coated with salted caramel?” These words surprised the man a little, and he looked up, before understanding this probably was her manner to make peace with him. Great displays and tender words wouldn’t be for anytime soon. He nodded, and brought the box back to Rainbow Dash, who opened it to grab a few brownish small balls. Until she had swallowed her handful, she didn’t tell him whether or not she had understood how her father who, when it wasn’t something she explicitly asked him, always missed the target with his gifts, had this time hit the nail on the head. “You’ve met Soarin, uh?” “I have, indeed… He was leaving when I was arriving. I’ve paid him a coffee and we’ve talked. He’s good people.” “Although he’s only the son of a car dealer?” “It doesn’t matter as long as he’s nice with you and he makes you happy.” “You know I would never have stopped seeing him even if you had begged of me, anyway.” “Yes, I know.” He knew it because she also was his daughter and although, in theory, their hair color seemed to be their only common feature, she also had inherited of some of his personality traits. His persistence, his determination, his gift to galvanized crowds, to unite the others around him… “Let’s be crystal clear about something”, Rainbow Dash said while closing the box. “I’m willing us to start again on a sound basis, but I’m going to need time. Don’t think we’re going to be closer overnight. There still are many things to sort out.” “I’m aware of this…” It probably was the right moment for him to make a move that would prove his good faith. He searched through his bag and took out a bunch of keys on Rainbow Dash’s laps – or, more precisely, on the box which still was on her laps. “What is this? Please, don’t tell me you’ve bought me a horse because you’d be five years late, then…” Indeed, toward the end of her Green Haven stay, she had gone horseback-riding for a few weeks, as a part of her “reintegration into society” – although the unofficial reasons were a bit different – and had begged him to pursue the thouroughbred she was riding then, whom she had created a very deep bond with. He never said yes, arguing this was too dangerous, and that if he had been told, she would never had been allowed to ride a horse. “No, it’s not that. Back when we moved here in Canterlot, your mother bought an apartment. It was supposed to be your eighteenth birthday’s present but I thought I could wait one more year before I gave it to you… because I was scared to be on my own. It was stupid. I knew, deep inside, you would eventually leave. Maybe to settle with Soarin or to share an apartement with your girl friends. So… It’s yours, now.” “Like… For real?” She knew what it meant. Nothing obliged her anymore to go back to this house she hated, and which she had wished many times it would blow up. She was free. Independence was opening its arms for her. Her father nodded, before he added: “You have to know something… First, it’s nothing like a huge loft, it’s more like an efficiency. And, the works she had begun had never been over and I never went back to this apartment ever since she died. Which means it’s probably falling apart and you’ll have to renovate it from A to Z.” She couldn’t care less. Doing works didn’t scare her at all. Conversely, she would be able to transform her place to live according to her tastes. And she was sure Soarin, Applejack, Big Macintosh and Sunset Shimmer would be happy to help, and Rarity would be glad to help her decorating it. She could see nothing but the hundreds of opportunities it offered. Only yesterday, she was feeling bundled up in choices which weren’t completely her own, and tonight, she had a glimpse at a future, if not beaming, at least a little clearer and cloudless than she had expected. Everything wasn’t settled, everything wasn’t perfect, but the leap forward that had been made tonight was meaningful.