Chapter 20
All Against One
The weather outside had taken a turn for the worse. The sky had darkened considerably, and the wind was howling loudly through the trees. The only thing between the wild, chilling weather and the four ponies was nothing but the warmth of a small fire in the fireplace.
Presently, the earth pony colt's grandmother was returning from a trip to the hallway closet to fetch a blanket for the foals.
"Here. Bundle up under that, foals," the elderly mare said.
All three foals happily snuggled up under the blanket, now abated from the cold.
"Thanks, grandma," the earth pony colt said. Now that she was back from her trip to the hall, he continued with the important subject at hoof. "So, what happened next?"
"I haven't been back five seconds, and you want to hear more? Where do you get that impatience from?" the old mare wondered.
"We want to know what happened to The Goof Knight's son. How did he get him back?" the unicorn filly asked.
"What makes you think he got his son back?" the old mare asked, as she took her seat by the fire.
The foals all sat in a stupefied silence, unsure how to handle what they just heard.
"But, he has to get his son back," the earth pony colt said.
In the storybook, there was never a mention of The Goof Knight having a son. Those stories had been aggrandized by the author to uplift the spirits of the oppressed ponies during those dark days. In those stories, he was written as being completely average, yet having no weaknesses. They didn't even mention that he had a son, so it would seem like there would be no leverage over him.
The truth of the matter was that The Goof Knight was as vulnerable as anypony, and roughly twice as dumb. And as far as she knew, the villains of the story had every advantage over him. Including holding his only son hostage.
"To be completely frank: no," the old mare answered.
The foals only stared at first, too stunned to say anything.
"But, that's impossible. He had to get his son back," the pegasus filly said.
"That's how it happens in the storybooks, filly. This is what really happened."
"That's horse apples!" the earth pony colt blurted out.
"Watch your mouth, grandson!" the old mare said, pointing a hoof at the colt.
"He's right! Every time something good is supposed to happen, it's the opposite! How come nothing works for anypony who's supposed to be the hero?" the pegasus filly said.
"Because that's how it really happened. Because it was real life. In a storybook, it's all make-believe, and you can shape it any way that you want to. But, no matter how hard you want it, you can't change what actually happened to them," the old mare said. "Now, if you foals really want to hear the story to the end, sit back and listen. Understand?"
The foals were silent for a moment, letting the old mare know that they were indeed ready to hear the rest of what really happened with The Goof Knight. But, there was one last question to ask.
"Grandma," the earth pony colt uneasily began, "It's the fight against Rex now. Does that mean that...this is where he loses?"
His grandmother sighed quietly. For many seconds, she said nothing. She knew the answer, and could see simply by looking at her grandson and his friends that they too knew the answer.
"Are you sure you want to hear the rest of the story?" was all the old mare said.
Slowly, the foals all nodded.
Seeing they were ready, the old mare continued.
This was it. The moment of truth. Goofy rode on Pinkie's back down the lane to topple Rex. He bounced up and down on the back of his pink mount, holding his mop firmly in hand.
The goof held his mop up, the yarns of it bouncing about as he rode boldly to face his opponent.
Rex almost smiled at the sight as he ran down his lane. In all of his years of combat, this was the first time he had been faced with such a silly weapon. And he was not about to lose to anyone dumb enough to try wielding it against him. He shifted his shoulder to aim his lance, and increased his speed.
The mannequin on Rex's back bounced up and down, simulating the effect of a real rider as it leaned forward. As though it had a life of its own, the mannequin lifted its enormous shield, and aimed its massive lance when Rex shifted his back and shoulders.
The two fighters met in the middle. Pinkie and Goofy were faced by Rex's lance, before Goofy's mop could even get close to him.
"WOW!!!" Goofy shouted, as he weaved his body out of the way of the lance. Unfortunately, he could not avoid a direct hit from Rex's shield.
Both Pinkie and Goofy were smashed into the front of the shield, and carried backwards down their lane. At the end, the mannequin thrusted its arm forward and threw them both into their team's weapon rack.
"Goofy! Pinkie!" Dash called to her friends. She painfully climbed over the rail that separated the squires from the jousting lanes, and hobbled over to them.
"Wait!" Quick Quill said. Since could see that there was no stopping Dash, she simply allowed Dash to lean on her as they walked to the others.
Pinkie and Goofy were both stuck between the wooden dowels on the rack in a crumpled heap.
"Come on, guys! Get up! The match isn't over yet!" Dash said.
Neither of her friends said anything.
"Goofy! Wake up! There's something I need to tell you!" Quill said.
Before she could say anything, they were overtaken by Rex's enormous shadow.
"This was a really disappointing match," Rex muttered, "But, the sooner I swat you buzzing flies, the sooner I get the crown."
He sharply shrugged on shoulder, which made the mannequin on his back reach up to grab the hilt of the sword on his back.
Before the sword was drawn, Rex choked when he got a mouthful of mop.
The champ reared back, and unwittingly pulled on the mop with his teeth, at the same time pulling his opponents out of the weapon rack to a standing position.
Pinkie was standing on wobbling knees. Goofy wobbled about on Pinkie's back.
"You can't get us that easy, Rex..." Goofy swooned, as he valiantly pointed his mop, "Ya can knock us down, but ya can't put us out..."
"I think we're out, but not down..." Pinkie said, as her eyes rolled around in her head.
"Hmf," Rex huffed at his opponents, "So, you still got a little fight in you? I guess I should be congratulating you, since you goofs are the first ones to get up after I knocked you down. I guess I'll have to try harder this time."
"Just you wait, Rex! You'll be eating dirt, no matter how much you beat us!" Dash retorted, only realizing how what she said sounded after it was finished.
All four of them looked fearfully at the mannequin on Rex's back, which still had its hand on the hilt of his oversized sword. To their relief, Rex bucked his shoulder, taking the mannequin's hand off the hilt
"That's just too easy to comeback. So, I'll just tell you that you won't even touch my shield again by the time this is over," Rex said, before he galloped back to his position at the other end of the lane.
As he returned, Dash watched as the mannequin on his back returned to a rider's stance with eerily uncanny lifelike movements. It was then that she saw that all of Rex's weapons were held not on Rex's person, but the lifeless rider on his back.
Quick Quill also had something important to convey, but didn't have the time when Dash spoke first.
"You guys have to do something about that dummy!" Dash said.
"But, what? He's tuff as a dump truck, an' almost as big!" Goofy answered.
"And twice as ugly," Pinkie added.
"Not that dummy! The one on his back!" Dash clarified. "That thing's holding all of his weapons. If you take it out, you might have a chance to knock him out!"
"Goofy," Quill began.
"Now, that's using your noodle, Dashie!" Pinkie said, "Come on, Goofy! Let's topple that monster horse!"
Pinkie hopped back to her lane with Goofy on her back.
"Wait! Goofy, there's something you should know!" Quick Quill said. She was too late to tell Goofy what she had learned of his son, before the goof was ready for another attempt to attack Rex.
Even though he was all the way across the lane, Quill swore Rex was smirking at her. Almost like he was waiting for something.
Rex lowered his head and scraped the bladed rhinoceros horn on his faceplate against the divider, sharpening it for when he needed it.
With a bellowing whinny, Rex took off down the lane to strike again.
"What do we do now, Goofy?" Pinkie asked.
"Yer askin' me? I thought you'd have a plan," Goofy answered.
"You don't even have an attack plan!?"
"Well, neither do you!"
"But, you're the jouster! It's your job to have a plan to topple your opponent!"
"But, yer my mount! It's yer job tuh put me in th' right position tuh topple my opponent!"
They could have carried on as they were, but it quickly ended when they saw Rex's lance was practically upon them.
Both screamed as Pinkie ducked, and slid across the ground, under Rex's blow.
She and Goofy both spun out, and slowly came to a stop at the end.
"Okey-dokey-lokey...Let's kick this pig in a blanket..." Pinkie said, dizzily. She tried to stand up, but found she couldn't move her legs.
"Looks more like a pony in a mop," Goofy said.
Somehow, through machinations that only she and Goofy could manage, Pinkie found her hooves were tied up in the yarns of Goofy's mop.
"Hang on! I'll cut ya loose!" Goofy said.
Rex had already reached the end of his lane, and turned around for another attack. But, not before showboating for the crowd.
From his quadrupedal stance, the champ flexed every muscle in his body, increasing his bulk so much that it made his armor bulge and warp slightly. The dummy on his back followed the command from his body and flexed too, nearly tearing at the seams.
Now that he was done displaying his power to the crowds, he rushed back down the lanes.
Pinkie saw Rex coming back and hopped to her hooves, even though they were still tangled.
"Wait! I still need tuh untangle yuh!" Goofy said.
"No time! He's coming!" Pinkie panicked.
Looking down the lane, they saw Rex powering toward them. So powerfully that when he shifted slightly to the side, his shield tore through the divider, and destroyed its length as he ran forward.
Pinkie quickly bucked Goofy onto her back, and started hopping as fast as she could down the lanes. For her, hopping was almost as (if not more than) natural as walking.
Goofy picked a new weapon from his repertoire, and chose the plunger to wield in tandem with his washtub.
As Rex came closer, they tried to quickly formulate a plan to disarm Rex. The simple answer was to topple his rider. The difficult answer was how to do it.
There was no time to think, as they were met by Rex's lance again.
Pinkie focused her mind, and hopped high. She only gained enough height to propel herself slightly higher than Rex's lance. In fact, she landed directly on top of the lance.
There was no time to think as Rex shook them off of his lance and launched his opponents away.
However, as they flew through the air, Goofy thrusted his plunger at any solid target he could see, and caught it on Rex's shield
"Looks like you lose, Rex!" Goofy said.
"Eh!?" Rex wondered, as he stopped shaking to better talk to his opponents.
"You told Dashie we wouldn't even touch your shield. But, lookie-lookie," Pinkie said, as she rubbed her hoof against the metal surface of Rex's enormous shield.
Apparently, that was exactly the thing to push Rex's rage button. The champ started violently thrashing around, trying to throw off his opponents.
Goofy held tightly to Pinkie with his heels as they were swung around like ragdolls.
The more they were swung, the more they spun around the handle of the plunger.
As they spun, Pinkie's hooves kicked both Rex and his rider in their heads.
Goofy tightened his grip on the plunger's wooden handle, and something new happened. Though he and Pinkie were too dizzy to feel it, the shield was spinning in the dummy's grip, and slowly unscrewing from the threading that held it.
Round and round the two spun on Rex's shield. With one last kick to both Rex and his rider's face, the shield unscrewed and sent them both flying back to their starting position. At the same time, Pinkie had kicked off the mannequin's head and sent it flying.
Dash and Quill both watched as their friends flew through the air. Dash winced and Quill covered her eyes on the resulting thud. When they looked, they saw that right next to them, Pinkie was sprawled out like a beach chair with Goofy sitting on top of her, lounging under the shade of an umbrella made from a plunger and shield.
"Yes! You did it! You took off his shield!" Dash cheered, as she helped her friends up.
Quill busied herself by pulling Goofy's plunger off of Rex's shield, and returned it to him.
"Goofy, there's something I have to tell you!" Quill tried to say.
"Here! Take some more of this stuff! It seemed to work good against that weasel!" Dash said, as she handed Goofy more bars of soap.
"Goofy! This is urgent!" Quill said, more sternly as she untied Pinkie's hooves and gave Goofy back his mop.
"She's right! You can't sit around here like it's a day at the beach! You got a champ to trash!" Dash said.
"Beach...? Trash...?" Goofy swooned.
"The shores are so polluted these days..." Pinkie added.
"That's the spirit! Something to get mad about! Use it against Rex!" Dash encouraged her friends.
Pinkie ran away once more to face Rex.
Quill tried to stop them, but to no avail.
"Goofy, wait! It's about your son!" she called after him.
"Maxie...?" Goofy said.
The thought of his son coming back to him and being rescued from danger cleared the goof's mind slightly. Knowing his son was safe from danger even put a little more focus in his rattled mind. But, not enough for him to dodge Rex's lance.
"WOW!!!" the goof shouted, as he only barely managed to raise his washtub to block the attack.
The goof was toppled backwards, landed inside of his own washtub and grabbed Pinkie's tail.
Pinkie dragged the goof behind her, both of them bouncing and hopping over the separator that Rex had demolished. When she reached the end of the lane, she turned sharply, nearly tripping, and throwing Goofy out of his tub.
Rex turned and tilted his rider over, so that it could swing its arm and pick up its head. The stub of a wrist was stuffed into the hollow part of the neck where it fit onto the shoulders, and was carried down the lane.
Pinkie and Goofy saw Rex riding toward them, his mouth almost foaming with anticipation as the mannequin on his back raised the arm it held its own head in.
With a jerk of one entire side of his body, Rex manipulated the mannequin to throw its own head right into Pinkie's face.
Pinkie screamed as she was hit by the mannequin's severed head, and veered to the side. Once more into the path of Rex's lance.
Not wanting to get hit again, Goofy pushed Pinkie's head low, and stood up on her back.
The lance passed between his legs, and came up directly underneath him so that he slid along its length as he stood on his friend's back.
In seconds, the goof ended up sliding past the lance and onto the dummy's arm.
The extra weight on the dummy's arm made it lower considerably, and drove its lance deep into the ground.
The more Rex ran, the deeper his lance was driven to the ground, until it went too deep for him to run. Unable to stop his momentum, the champ went flying into the air like a pole vaulter, taking Goofy with him.
Up in the air, Rex tried to grab at Goofy, who was just within his reach. Until the lance he was vaulting on bent under his weight, and brought him to the ground.
Rex landed on his hooves, and quickly discarded his now useless lance, then quickly had his dummy draw his sword. He had just taken the sword in his teeth, when he felt another weight drop on his back.
Completely by chance, when Goofy fell after Rex, he landed directly on the champ's back. Well, not directly. He was caught in the arms of the mannequin on his back.
"Gawrsh. Thanks fer th' help, mister," Goofy said.
The goof's gratitude completely faded when he saw what had caught him. Somehow, the mannequin's shoulders turned with Goofy's shifting weight, making it seem like the headless body was somehow staring at him.
"Ulp..." was all Goofy said.
Pinkie had gotten up from the ground, and turned to face Rex again. Only, she found she was completely unprepared for the encounter. She was unarmed, and Rex was looming over her with a gigantic sword clenched in his teeth.
Pinkie screamed and rolled to the side, just as Rex's sword smashed down, creating a deep divot where he cleaved into the ground.
The force of the hit shook the ground, making Pinkie rattle around.
The pink mare ducked under Rex's next attack, and ducked again under the next.
With every swing, even though they missed her, Pinkie could feel the power of each hit. So much that she was almost blown away by the blade's wake of air that followed each hit.
Rex jumped high in the air, and came down swinging his sword.
Pinkie jumped backwards, just beyond the reach of the tip of the blade, which only tickled her nose as it came down.
The blade slammed hard, and made the entire stadium shake slightly off of its foundation.
Goofy was shaken from the dummy's arms, and thrown onto Rex's back to face the lifeless rider.
Even though it was just a dummy, there didn't seem to be anything dumb about it. Every time Rex bucked about in his attempts to butcher Pinkie, the dummy on his back swung its arms, punching Goofy with a left, and a right, and a left again.
"Alright! That's how yuh want it? Put 'em up!" the goof said, as he sheathed his mop.
Goofy was hit by a flurry of punches, as Rex rapidly swung his sword.
Pinkie barely had time to move as the champ dove forward and cut his way through the base of the bleachers in the stadium.
Now that she was behind him, Rex bucked Pinkie and sent her flying across the tiltyard, until she crashed into the other wall.
"Ref! Stop the match! She's out of bounds now! She's disqualified!" Dash said to the emcee.
"Sorry, sister. Ref rules: no foul, heh heh heh," the weasel chuckled.
"You can't let this go on!!"
"Listen, lady: the rules say the match goes until a knockout. An' from here, that walkin' cotton candy looks pretty lucid," the weasel answered, pointing to Pinkie, who had tiny Rexes galloping around her head.
"You just made up that load of horse apples!!!!!" Dash accused.
"Such language," Quill thought to herself. But, if she was thinking about her priorities, she was going to need a new plan. One that would gain leverage over Rex and take him out completely. But, that would take more ponypower than was currently available. They would need help. "I've got an idea! Look after the others!"
"Wait! You can't abandon your post! You're a squire!" Dash called.
"I'm making up my own rules!" Quill called back.
"Yeah! The same horse apples these guys keep making up!"
Dash's attention was drawn to the emcee's chuckling.
"Hee hee hee heeee. Couldn't stand watchin' her pals get beat to a bloody brine, eh? Can't say I blame her," he said.
Before he could keep gloating, the yarns of a mop wrapped around his head, and he was pulled off of his platform.
Dash had used one of the spares on a weapon rack, and now that he was on her level, she wrapped her hooves around his neck and started throttling him.
By coincidence, the exact same thing was being done to Goofy by Rex's lifeless rider.
Pinkie shook her head lucid, and saw the danger her friend was in. The greatest danger for her would be trying to save Goofy, as Rex was thrashing like a rodeo bronco, still holding his sword in his teeth.
She would have to do it. If Rex was going to be defeated, it would take the two of them together.
"Just think Pinkie thoughts," Pinkie thought to herself, "Parties. Cupcakes. Balloons. Cookies. Cupcakes again."
Without her own knowledge, she was running back toward the jousting lanes, and would have continued on like such, until--
"Pinkie! Catch!"
That voice. That mellifluous voice with the Yokeshire accent rang to her mind and snapped Pinkie to reality. When she looked up, she saw two, tiny, frosted objects flying toward her like angels out of the blue.
"Cupcakes!!" Pinkie said. Rather than wonder where they came from, she jumped up and ate them both in one bite, just the way she used to do. When she landed, she saw the source of the cupcakes.
There, up in the audience stood Cream Filling, with a pan of cupcakes he made before he was abducted by Rex.
"These are the only cupcakes I have! Don't let them go to waste!" he called to her, as he threw two more of his pastries.
Pinkie ate the cupcakes the same as before, and felt reinvigorated by them. It was just like the days before, when she had her magic.
"Cupcakes! Parties! Make-believe!" Pinkie thought to herself.
Pinkie could feel herself welling up inside. Was this magic? Whatever it was, she knew it would help her against Rex.
While Pinkie felt she was growing stronger, Goofy felt just the opposite.
Still saddled on Rex's back with his mannequin rider, the goof tried his best to fight back. Only, how was one supposed to fight against an inanimate object?
"Had enough yet?" Goofy swooned, before he was hit by an uppercut, which hit him so hard that it knocked the bars of soap Dash had given him off of his belt.
Rex bucked, and the dummy wound up its arm for a world-class haymaker. Until a rock was thrown that spun the dummy's arm the wrong direction.
"Come on! Come on! The rest of you keep tossing!" Quick Quill said to the ponies from the white doorway's lounge.
The fighters Rex had abducted had turned against him. Rallied by Quick Quill, they were now throwing anything they could get their hooves on at the champ.
The emcee had managed to knock Dash away and started crawling to view the match.
"Hey! What's going on here!? That's outside interference!! Foul! Foul!" the weasel called into his mic.
Dash grabbed the emcee by his shoulders, and stuffed his own mic into his mouth before going to town on his face.
Quill looked to the side of herself, and saw the guards she had stolen the keys to the fighter's lounge from coming after her. Not about to get caught by them, she put her hoof in her mouth and whistled loudly to the fighters she released.
"Cannon fodder!" she shouted, pointing to the weasels.
Taking the cue, the ponies all picked up the weasel guards.
"Hey! What're ya doin'!!? Put us down, ya magic marshmallows!!!" one of the weasels protested.
No good, as they were both thrown into the jousting lanes. One at the side of Rex's head. The other into the dummy on his back.
The dummy spun around at its waist, until it stopped. Now, it was facing backwards, and unable to attack Goofy.
Her work could continue unimpeded, and Quick Quill ran to release the other fighters.
"What are you all doing sitting there!!? The Goof Knight needs help!" Quill said to the crowd.
Taking the novelist's cue, the first two rows in the crowd leapt into action. Nopony wanted Rex to win the Hastlitude, and they would do whatever it took to keep him from becoming king.
Anything they could get their hooves on was thrown. Concessions, pieces of the bleachers they broke, even the weasels that tried to stop them.
Pinkie ran through the pandemonium and slipped on one of Goofy's bars of soap.
As Rex was cutting the objects that were thrown at him with his sword, the bar of soap Pinkie slipped on flew toward his head.
Rex turned and cut it in two, only for the split soap to hit each one of his eyes.
The champ shouted and swung blindly about, his weasel henchmen ducking and dodging his wild attacks.
Goofy had seen what was done, and got an idea. Rex was built like a tank and had a personality to match. But, he was still a flesh and blood creature. One with all the same soft, sensitive parts as all the others.
Having burned his own eyes while he was washing his infant son's hair often enough, Goofy knew full well the terror he was about to impart on Rex. He took two bars of soap, and leaned over the champ's head.
Pinkie was now upon Rex, and started throwing everything that had dropped to the ground at him.
Before the champ could counter, Goofy covered his eyes with two bars of soap and started lathering.
Rex bellowed loudly through his clenched teeth, and started bucking and rolling on the ground to get Goofy off of his back.
The goof was smashed repeatedly by the rolling champ, but still held tightly, scrubbing his soap into his opponent's eyes.
Rex bucked his head up, trying to get Goofy with the bladed horn on his faceplate.
One of the spectators returned from a trip to the janitor's closet, and threw a broom to Pinkie.
Pinkie caught the broom, and took aim like she was throwing a javelin. She let it fly loose, and with aim that was true hit Rex in his jaw. But, it was not enough to make him release his weapon.
Cream Filling watched the fight from his vantage, and saw that supporting Pinkie with cupcakes was not enough. As a baker, he didn't have much to offer, but he did have one thing. Something special that he made himself that he managed to hold onto. He reached into his mane, and produced it.
"Heads up, Pinkie!" he called, as he threw his next item.
Pinkie raised her hoof, and caught it. When she examined it, her eyes brightened.
"Hot sauce!" she said. She looked up and smiled at Cream Filling. It seemed like even though they had just met, they knew everything about each other. Now, with the gift she had been given, she wasn't about to let it go to waste.
Rex reared up, and reached over his shoulders to grab Goofy. With his opponent firmly in his grasp, Rex threw him away.
Goofy landed hard next to Pinkie, making a Goofy-shaped crater in the ground.
"I'm afraid tuh look, Pinkie. Tell me if anything's broken," Goofy groaned.
Rex had just wiped the suds from his eyes, and turned to face his opponents.
Pinkie had no time to answer Goofy. She had to do something quickly. Her thoughts snapped to the hot sauce she held, and then to when she fought with Theef.
"It's a party! Just like in Ponyville!" Pinkie thought to herself. She put the bottle of hot sauce to her lips, and imagined she was blowing up a balloon. "That's right! It's a party! I'm setting it up to make ponies happy!" went the thoughts in the pink mare's head.
The crowd gasped at what they were seeing.
Quick Quill watched in amazement at what she could only have relegated to fiction.
Dash had tied the wire from the emcee's mic around his snout, and was pulling hard for a submission hold, but slowly stopped when she saw what Pinkie was doing.
"That's it, Pinkie! Keep blowin'!" Goofy said.
Pinkie pinched the mouth of the bottle shut, and saw that she had inflated it like a balloon. Not about to take the time to marvel at her accomplishment, she aimed it at Rex, and let the contents within fly out into the champ's face.
Rex didn't even have a chance to start moving, when he was overtaken by a wave of hot sauce. Somehow, it burned worse than the soap, blinding him, stinging his eyes, and worst of all burning the inside of his mouth.
He was swinging his head every which way, and shouted loudly. Finally, Rex was disarmed.
His massive sword flew through the air, right over the heads of Goofy, Pinkie, Dash and the emcee, and embedded itself deep in the frame of the black doorway.
Though shaken from the near miss, Dash was more excited for what she had seen. Pushing the emcee into the ground, she stood up and hobbled over to her friends' side.
"Pinkie!" she called.
"Dashie!" Pinkie greeted her.
The two friends hugged tightly on the jousting lanes, and the crowd cheered loudly for the display.
"You used magic, Pinkie! Party magic!" Dash congratulated her.
"Pinkie magic!" Pinkie corrected.
"You hear that, Rex? We've got magic, and you got no weapons left! You're as good as beat!" Dash gloated.
"Dash...Yuh really don't wanna provoke that monster horse," Goofy said.
Rex had reared up to run on two legs, and whinnied loudly. More like a growl, actually, as he tore forward. The dummy on his back fell off from the sheer speed.
Goofy sprang to his feet, and valiantly raised his mop to defend his friends. But, it did no good.
Rex pumped both arms like a shotgun, and thrust them forward, hitting all three of his opponents with all the force of an artillery cannon.
Quill winced when she saw her teammates hit, and quickly rushed to their aid. She looked for a way down, and saw the wire from the emcee's mic trailing down the side of the platform.
"No," she thought to herself. It was just a wire. Then again, in a world of make-believe, it had other uses. "It's surely strong enough to hold my weight," she thought, though she didn't believe it.
She started climbing down the wire, finding it to be small and slippery. In seconds, she was sliding down the wire, and landed on her flank.
"Ohhh!" Quill groaned, before getting to her hooves to attend to the others. "Ice pack!" She called to the crowd.
A pony quickly slurped down his soda, and raised the cup of ice in his hoof.
"Comin' down!" he called as he threw it.
Quill caught the paper cup full of ice, and applied it to Goofy's head.
"You three can't face Rex like this! He's too powerful!" Quill said.
"We can't stop now. If he wins, he's king," Goofy reasoned.
Quill moved to Dash, and saw the bruise on her stomach needed tending.
"More ice!" she called to the crowd.
"Here!"
Quill caught the ice-filled cup and applied it to Dash's stomach.
"I'm serious! We need to reconsider what we're doing!" the novelist said.
"Reconsider? Things are going pretty good so far," Dash said.
Quill groaned and rolled her eyes, before moving to Pinkie.
"Need more ice," she said to herself.
"No. Cupcakes," Pinkie said.
"Cupcakes!?"
Pinkie raised a hoof, and caught a cupcake that was thrown by Cream Filling, before eating it heartily.
"Listen, all of you: Rex is stronger, and far more skilled than the three of you put together. Probably more than the whole stadium. What you need is a way to fight on his level. You need a way to match his power," Quill said.
It was too easy to figure out. Dash and Pinkie turned their heads to the left.
"Huh? Whut's everbuddy lookin' at?" Goofy wondered. He turned his head to the left. "Oh!"
There in the wall was Rex's enormous sword. That would surely match the champ's power.
Rex saw his opponents, and knew exactly what they were planning.
Quill saw him glancing over at his own sword, almost like he was daring them to take it. Whatever his intention, Rex turned around, lowered to all four and galloped back to his starting position.
Goofy, Pinkie and Dash all gathered at the sword's hilt. Goofy spit onto his hands, and rubbed them together, before they all started pushing at once. Slowly, the blade pushed out of the wall, and landed on the ground with a loud clang.
"This is it! A dog and pony show for the ages!" Dash said, as she lifted the tip of the blade, and placed the flat of it on her back.
"A three pony party for the happiness of thousands!" Pinkie said, nudging her way under the middle of the blade, resting the flat on her back.
"A choo-choo train o' pals plowin' through one really big horse!" Goofy declared lastly, taking hold of the hilt.
Quill didn't know what to make of what they were saying, but if make-believe allowed them to cope, she wouldn't stop it. But, there was one last thing she wanted to divulge.
"Goofy, wait. It's about your son," she said.
"Maxie? Yuh know where he is?" Goofy asked hopefully.
"No. But..."
Quill could have told him everything she knew. How his son was probably a hundred miles away from him, but decided against it. Instead, she told him something that she knew would raise his spirits.
"He believes in you. He has complete faith in you defeating Rex, and saving the kingdom," Quill answered.
Goofy's face slowly started to glow. It was what every father wanted to hear. And exactly what he needed to hear at the moment. He turned and faced down the lane, where Rex was eyeing him.
"Hang on, Maxie. Yer ol' pop's comin' for yuh," the goof thought to himself.
Now was the time. The moment of truth. All at once, the three of them bounced into the air, scurried their respective feet and hooves, and took off like a shot.
Rex took no weapons from his rack of spares. In fact, he removed his entire set of armor before he started running.
From where they were, to the three with the sword, it looked like Rex had become more mobile and speedy without armor.
They met well before they reached the middle of the lane. Rex had definitely increased his speed without armor. But, that would not deter them. That only gave them a chance to strike sooner.
"It's a show! I'm performing!" Dash thought to herself, as she jumped into the air. Even though her wings were useless, she felt as if she were truly flying again.
"It's a party! I'm making ponies happy!" Pinkie thought to herself, as she bounced upward.
"I'm gonna see my son again! An' I'm gonna keep him safe forever!" Goofy thought to himself, as he swung the sword.
Unfortunately, Rex was an expert at shattering hopes and dreams.
The sword reached the zenith of its swing, and Rex jumped forward. He thrusted his rear hooves forward, hitting Goofy with a solid double-legged dropkick that sent the goof flying.
Goofy landed in the ground, and dug through it as he landed.
The mares holding the blade were spinning in the air, until Pinkie was snatched by Rex and placed on the ground.
Rex threw two punches into Pinkie's face, then threw an uppercut that knocked her into the sky. Then, he jumped backwards.
Dash was next. She had just gotten up when she saw Rex coming down with an elbow drop.
He landed hard enough to indent Dash deep into the ground, then punched her in the face, indenting her head deeper than the rest of herself.
Pinkie landed on the ground, making a small crater when she did.
Rex huffed loudly. These goofs had given him more trouble than he ever thought possible. He had gone easy, expecting to handle them with his weapons, but for all they managed to do, he never thought they would make him resort to fighting with his greatest weapon: his own body. Now, it seemed his opponents were truly down. And just in time as the emcee slowly climbed back up to his platform.
"CALL IT, REF!!!!!!" Rex shouted so hard that the wind from his voice nearly blew the emcee away.
"Ah--Uh--An' the winner is: Theronicus Rex!!" the emcee announced.
There was no response from the crowd. For all their efforts, for all their raised hopes, Rex was now on the threshold to become their king.
Rex gathered up his three unconscious opponents, and held them up to the crowd.
"You see this!!? This is what happens when you challenge Theronicus Rex!!! I was chosen to conquer your kingdoms for a reason!! Because, I'm unstoppable!!! I am the force of nature that sends you all running for cover!!! I am the governing law of might!!! And I'm going to solidify that during the battle royale, when I take on every single one of the fighters in this kingdom!!! All at the same time!!!"
The ponies in the audience all murmured uncertainly. Their future was looking bleaker by the moment.
Rex motioned for some weasels to approach.
"Get these goofs back to their lounge. And round up all the others. I want them all in their best condition before the royale. Understand?" Rex ordered.
"Y-Y-You got it, boss!" the weasels said, before carrying the losers off on a stretcher.
Quill somberly joined their side as they were led away. Though it was very quiet, she thought she could hear Goofy calling his son's name, still determined to win him back.