“Oh this going to be interesting.” Sharp Eye remarked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
“But before I tell you this,” All Nighter began. “I was totally hammered when her second haunting happened. And by hammered I mean that half the liquids coursing through my body at that time were made up of hard cider. I went bar hopping with Red Tie after all, and boy that stallion could drink!”
Upon hearing his name being mentioned, Red Tie popped his head out of his cubicle, trying to find the source of the voice. When All Nighter saw Red Tie looking around, he waved a hoof at him.
“Hey Red!” He called out.
“We were just talking about how amazing you were during bar hop last Saturday.”
Red Tie replied with an ‘oh’ and grinned as he shrunk back to his cubicle.
All Nighter looked back at the two and took a sip from his cup before continuing his story.
“So where was I? Oh yes, I was so drunk during that time that I was amazed that I still made my way home unscathed. As I entered my apartment, I was welcomed with complete and utter blackness. So, I trotted directly towards the light switch. But combining darkness and a drunken stallion would only create disastrous results. So what happened next is what you’ve expected. I stumbled and fell on my rump. And when this ghost realized that I was home, she then took the opportunity and decided to scare me under the cover of the dark.”
“As I sat on the ground, everywhere I looked seemed to spin, like I was inside a washing machine. Then I heard something move, and another, and another one! I don’t know what those were but those were a lot of somethings.”
“At first, I thought that it was a burglar who broke inside my apartment. So what I did next was to act intimidating. I quickly got up on my hind legs and raised my forelegs. I was standing wobbly at that time so I had to lean on the wall for support.”
“Whoosh deyr! I cried at the intruder. What I meant was ‘who’s there’ but I-stop giggling! I can’t control my slurs when I’m drunk okay? When you think about it, who doesn’t slur when they’re drunk?”
“I don’t.” Sharp Eye replied firmly.
“Well that’s because you never go beyond the point of being tipsy!” Puce countered.
“Hah!” All Nighter exclaimed while a pointing a hoof at Sharp Eye.
“So I was intimidating this burglar right?” ALL Nighter continued, putting up air quotes at the burglar part. “But all those that came out from my mouth could be easily taken straight out of an infant’s vocabulary!”
“Seriously, you should hear what I said: Whoosh deyr! Kamawnaut! Nafrayed few! Umma boxuh! Umma tidal holduh! Yes, I pretended that I’m a boxer to intimidate a burglar, if that’s what you’re asking. But during that time, my mind was filling blanks on its own. And what I saw as darkness before was now replaced with a ring, complete with a roving referee. And as I looked around, large crowds of ponies clad in fancy clothing. All of them were cheering my name, or my opponent’s. I don’t know. I mean, when everyone shouts at the same time, all you can hear is nonsense. Then, something appeared right in front of me, it was a pony twice my size and is completely swollen. Short puffs of smoke of air came out from his nostrils, he’s ready to fight. I raised both of my forelegs in front of my face and moved my hind legs in a hopping manner, similar that to a boxer’s.”
“This is it! I thought to myself. I started to advance towards my enemy. But when I took my first step, BLAM!”
Puce flinched at All Nighter’s sudden outburst.
“I was on the floor, face flat. It was so painful that I just stayed down for awhile. Then suddenly, I feel my someone poking at my sides. Probably my opponent. Definitely my opponent. Still hitting me despite being knocked out. He wanted me broken so I couldn’t challenge him in a rematch. A dirty move is what I call it.If he’s playing dirty, then so am I!”
“I quickly rose up, grabbed him by the neck with both of my forelegs and bit his ear! Before my teeth could sink in to his tender flesh, I heard him scream. Or heard her scream. It was a girl. I bit a girl’s ear. I stopped, wait. So the burglar that I imagined as my opponent was a mare? I rushed towards the light switch, my legs still wobbling and turned it on.”
“Brightness filled the room, and what caught my attention were several objects floating in the air such as books, pillows, glasses, and several other stuff. Along with those was the mare that I saw several hours ago, holding her right ear.”
“So the burglar that I imagined as my opponent was a mare? A ghost mare? And she can levitate things? So she’s a poltergeist, how about that. Or is it ponetergeist? I dunno, you decide.”
“Ponetergeist sounds nice.” Puce stated.
“Just call it a poltergeist.” Sharp Eye groaned. “Why do we have to attach pony related names to words? It’s stupid.”
“You’re stupid.” Puce retorted.
“Moving on. She’s also in her true form. No, not the one where she’s all rotten and spooky. The other one, the glowing mare in a dress version. Apparently, she didn’t think that I would turn the lights on, considering my current condition. Realizing that I did her great a offence, I stood up on my legs and begged her for forgiveness. Unfortunately, the effects of the cider still lingered in my body. This is the part where it gets really, really embarrassing. As soon as I started walking, I began wobbling down and stumbled once more. Luckily, my rump landed on my couch, cushioning my fall. But somehow, my body got laid out spread eagle, facing the poor mare, or is it lucky mare? My goods were openly displayed in front of her. She placed both of her hooves on her snout, covering her mouth and blushed furiously.”
“So my body was splayed out in front of her right? And she was blushing profusely right?” All Nighter praised himself mentally for using such a fancy word in a sentence. “And what I did next was so incredibly stupid that it was as stupid as during that time when I cuddled her, or even stupider.”
“I gently caressed my barrel with my with my forelegs, only stopping when they’re getting closer to my nether regions, and raised them back upwards again slowly as if cherishing every second of it. I stared at her with sultry eyes while softly biting my lower lip for additional effect. After that I slowly reached for the back of my head and caressed my mane while other hoof gently dove downwards to my thighs and caressed them as well, still keeping my sultry gaze at her.”
All Nighter ceased his story for a moment as he looked at Puce who was now drooling.
“Puce, are you alright? You’re drooling.”
Puce snapped back from her daydreaming and immediately wiped the drool off her face.
“Yes, I’m fine. Continue.”
Sharp Eye looked at Puce for a second then shifted his focus on All Nighter, staring at him angrily.
“This is getting indecent, skip this part.” He scolded.
“No way!” Puce intervened. “This story just got juicier! Continue.”
All Nighter shrugged and resumed his tale.
“And then I said this stupid line that got her even redder than before. I didn’t even know that you could turn that red!” All Nighter said, exclaiming the last part.
Red Tie popped his head out of his cubicle and looked at All Nighter, thinking that he mentioned his name again.
“What?” He called out.
All Nighter turned to look at Red Tie and realized what he did.
“Oh not you, Red. I was talking about red the color. Sorry.” He clarified.
“Oh, okay then.” Red replied and shrunk back at his cubicle for the second time.
“See what you like?” All Nighter resumed.That’s the line I used at her while groping myself sensually.”
“And more importantly, I didn’t even know that a ghost could blush! I forgot to say it before so I’m saying it right here. And let me get it straight with you guys, this is the cider talking, not me. Normally, I would never be this sultry.”
All Nighter could hear Puce softly moan in disappointment, and Sharp Eyes’ slightly disturbing growls.
“And then I suddenly stopped caressing my body, I can totally see her eyes changing from confused curiosity to sadly let down when I did that, thinking that the show’s over. But she ‘s dead wrong!”
All Nighter giggled at his pun. He looked at his two co-workers to see if they shared his sentiments. But they just stared at him flatly, looking displeased.
“Get it?” He asked.
“Dead? Wrong? Dead Wrong? Because she’s dead, and also wrong?” All Nighter explained lamely.
All Nighter’s line only a got out a frustrated groan from the two, so he just decided to continue his story.
“Anyway, her eyes flickered back to lif-” All Nighter abruptly stopped when he realized that he’s about to make another pun. “-their previous state when I slowly unbuttoned my shirt. I intentionally slowed down my movements in order to tease her. And boy, did it work. She stared at my hooves intently, soaking every push and pull. I swear I could hear her gasp every time a button slips out of its hole, creating a small gap as it separates the two ends of fabric that it was holding earlier, exposing the hidden part that was concealed before.”
“Once the final button has been unclasped, I proceeded to remove my shirt. Just like with what I did to the buttons, I lowered the clothing down gently, savouring the moment as each strand of my fur was tenderly grazed by the sliding cloth. Once removed, I chose the most flamboyant way that I can think of to get rid of it.”
“So I tossed it in front of her.”
“The way she shifted her eyes from me to the shirt repeatedly was adorably hilarious. And the way she reached her hooves out in an attempt to grab my shirt and pulling it back immediately when she realized what she’s doing? Golden. I stood up from my couch and marched towards her, slowly. I still left my tie on though, I saw it in a movie once where the male stripper wore nothing on his upper body but that tie. It looks hot to be honest. I may be a stallion, but I can still appreciate that nice little touch.”
“As I trotted towards her, she also backs away so I can’t really close the distance between us. I called out to her, trying my best not to wobble and slur. Wait! I called. Don’t be afraid, I don’t bite. Oh wait, I do. I’m sorry. I then gestured my hooves towards myself. See this? This is for you, it’s a peace offering. Then I winked at her. She was so flustered that she panicked and backed away further from me. All of her attention was directed at me that she hadn’t noticed that she was headed straight to my stereo. I stopped to warn her where she was going but I was too late. Her back had hit my stereo. And here I was thinking that ghosts can go through walls. But maybe she was just in her corporeal form, I bit her in the ear after all. She let out a small ‘oomph’ as her back hit the machine. She turned around to look at the stereo while massaging her back, the black machine began to whir.”
“For some reason her back had accidentally pressed the play button. And my stereo started replaying the song that I listened to earlier. The tune was retro, a title song from a popular movie back in the days, a music from my childhood. Once my ears had picked up on that ever so familiar piece of music, my dancing instincts immediately kicked in.”
“At first, it was just my head that started moving, bobbing along to its lively beat. And then my hind legs came after, tapping on the floor while following my head’s pace. Then along came the shoulders and other parts of my body. This is the part that I like the most about drunk me. He’s always overflowing with confidence. I could never do something like that when I’m sober.”
“That’s what liquor does to you, it’s not called liquid courage for nothing after all.” Sharp Eye pointed out, his voice condescending, as if he’s talking to All Nighter like he’s a first time drinker.
All Nighter paid no heed to Sharp Eye’s recent remark and proceeded to continue his story.
“When the song reached its chorus, my antics have gotten a lot crazier! I stood up on my hind legs while flashing her a toothy grin, and slowly licked my lips for seductive purposes. I then bucked my hips in sync with the music, while singing the song’s lyrics.”
“Na-na,na-na,na-na,naah-na,nana,nanana!”
“Na-na,na-na,na-na,naah-na,nana,nanana!”
“I ain’t afraid of no ghost!”
“As I continued bucking my hips, I felt something wet and squishy flapping up and down my crotch. I didn’t bother to look because I was busy seducing this mare right?”
“If that’s what you’re going to call it, high hoof!” Sharp Eye quipped, raising a foreleg in the air.
Puce and All Nighter blatantly ignored Sharp Eye’s mockeries, and they left him hanging as well. When no one decided to reciprocate his attempt of a high hoof, Sharp Eye had no choice but to bring down his leg in annoyance, and scowled deeply at All Nighter.
“But the mare saw it though. That might be the reason why she rushed through the door. All those dancing and bucking has got me all stirred up, and uh...my package,” All Nighter paused to take a sip of his coffee. “-scared her. Can you believe it? My package scared her! Hah! Who’s the one doing the scaring now!”
“Humph. She’s just scared getting pricked by that tiny thorn of yours.” Sharp Eye grinned, taking a long sip from his cup.
Now it was All Nighter’s turn to scowl at Sharp Eye. “Way to boost a stallion’s ego there, Sharp.”
Sharp Eye didn’t say anything. He just a raised his cup of coffee in front of All Nighter, as if he was making a toast in his honor.
“So what happened next?” Puce asked.
“I don’t really know.” All Nighter replied, scratching his head. “After she left my apartment, I passed out on the floor. And then I woke up with a terrible headache, along with those embarrassing memories from last night.”
“Hold on.” Sharp Eye began, he had an inquisitive look on his face. “How in Equestria can you remember all those things when you said that you said prior to the beginning of the story that you were heavily intoxicated?”
“Yeah, about that.” All Nighter said, still scratching his head. “I have this dumb ability to retain all of my memories despite being drunk. It automatically plays last night’s memories when I wake up, along with my hang over. So not only will I groan in pain, I’ll also moan in humiliation.”
“That sounds horrible!” Puce replied, her voice sympathetic.
“And pretty convenient too. It sounds almost like it’s made up.” Sharp Eye retorted.
“I didn’t make it up!” All Nighter cried.
“Yeah, yeah. Just finish your story.” Sharp Eye said, waving a hoof dismissively.
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