//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Pie in the Sky // Story: Pinkie Anonymous // by Daemon McRae //------------------------------// Chapter 5: Pie in the Sky Rainbow Dash was very confused. She’d literally just seen Pinkie Pie on the other side of town not even an hour before they left for lunch. Now, knowing her friend, it was entirely possible that she had, in fact, simply followed them to the restaurant for... well, for Pinkie reasons. So maybe she’d seen what kind of restaurant it was, and gotten really upset that Rainbow Dash was eating there? That would explain why she was wearing her hair straight, and the grumpy look on her face. Not the running, though. Pinkie usually never ran away from her friends. She also wasn’t usually this fast. “Hey, Pinks, slow down!” Rainbow yelled, speeding down the sidewalk, or more accurately, six feet above it. Were this flat, open ground, she would have caught up with Pinkie miles ago. Of course, they were in downtown Manehatten, where the street lamps, signs, crowds, and buildings turned even open air into an obstacle course. One Pinkie seemed oddly familiar with. “Stop following me you one-mare pride parade!” Pinkie yelled back, in a rather un-Pinkie-ish voice. Pinkemena, for her part, was doing a fantastic job of restraining herself, opting instead to try to lose the pegasus in the back alleys and confusing street layout of downtown, and hadn’t even thrown any swear words at her. Why, for Luna’s sake, did the one friend who found her have to be a freakin’ Wonderbolt? Still, she was keeping ahead of her well enough, and was a few right turns and a risque storefront away from losing her pursuer for good. At least, that was the plan. The group of mares on the far end of this one-way street, however, apparently hadn’t been informed of this plan, and thus stood in perfect thwarting formation. Namely, right in her damn way. She didn’t have much choice, though, as the only other direction was backward, which just so happened to be full of Rainbow Dash. “Outta the way, ladies!” she bellowed, and then almost crashed to a halt when she saw who it was she was yelling at. Of course it had to be the rest of Pinkie’s friends. Of. Bucking. Course. “Oh hey, Pinkie, there you are!” Twilight yelled, not having quite grasped the situation. To which she only had a few seconds left to respond. Which she failed to do, as Pinkemena barreled through the gaggle of girls like a bowling ball with a rocket assist. “Sorry not really tried to warn you bye!” she hollered behind her, hooking a hard right and ducking under a large sheet of glass being held aloft by lots of rope and a couple pegasi. There was a satisfying thud as Rainbow saw, tried to brake for, and smacked into the glass, and a comical sliding sound as she ungracefully met the ground with a thwack. Finally, she was free of her tail. She didn’t slow down, though, in case one of the others decided to pick up where Rainbow Dash left -POP- ...off. She screeched to a halt as the innocuous sound of rushing air from a moment ago was swiftly followed by Twilight Sparkle appearing out of thin air. “Goddammit!” Mina bellowed, skidding into another hard right, which led her down a narrow alleyway. She heard another -POP- behind her and, being a quick learner, pulled the fastest 180 she could, now charging through the empty space Twilight had left to resume her original route. The subsequent -POP- and shout of “Wha-HEY!” told her that Twilight had indeed tried to show up in front of her again. Mina all but slalomed between the ponies in the crowd, and various stands and benches and posts, eventually reaching a familiar storefront and diving through the front door. Which, gratefully, was open, as she ended up sliding on rather comfortably soft carpet, not bothering to come to a halt. Instead, she dove over the counter and hid behind a very familiar-looking mare. “Frilly, you gotta hide me!” The Pinkie clone behind the counter, Silly Frilly, was every bit as sultry and stylish as Pinkemena was antisocial and crude. “Oh, come now, Mina. Surely you can handle… whatever it is. I mean, I’ve seen you throw big, strapping minotaurs out of your restaurant before. Which I should thank you for, by the way. They did so need to be… comforted,” she added with an appreciative mewl as she stretched across the counter languidly. “NOT NOW. We got a real problem! Don’t you have like, an emergency hatch or something?!” Mina growled, shuffling behind the counter towards a door she hoped led to a back room. “Oh, now what could be so awful that the big, strong Pinkemena needs to hide… from… um hello how may I help you welcome to Lace Track!” Silly added in a panicked, almost overly-professional tone. Mina looked back to say something else rude, but caught sight of the newest ponies in the shop through a glass display, under which she immediately dove. “Hello, Pinkie,” said Twilight. “I imagine you have some… thing to tell us?” Frilly put on a wide, overly cheerful smile, and tilted her head. “Ummmm, no?” “Pinkie...” Twilight said dangerously. “Sorry, really can’t tell you,” Frilly insisted, her smile losing some of its luster. “Like, physically, I can’t.” Which is when the rest of Pinkie’s friends stormed into the shop, some of which were very confused, some angry. Then there was Rarity. “Oh my gosh, is that the new Bridle Couture line?!” she almost shrieked. Frilly took the opening. “Why, yes it is! We don’t have many left, but if there’s a piece you -or somepony special- have an interest in, we take orders of all sizes! I can even show you some custom pieces, if you’re interested!” It was at that moment that the rest of the girls realized exactly what kind of store Lace Track was. They were surrounded on all sides by glass counters, soft white carpet and walls, gold accents, and any and every manner of lingerie they had no idea existed. Fluttershy had almost shrunk into herself completely in embarrassment, slowly creeping back to the door. Rainbow and Applejack both looked like they wanted to be basically anywhere else, and Twilight had, for a moment, forgotten her pursuit in favor of a rather endearing blush in a very complimentary shade of vermillion. Then the moment passed. “NO,” Twilight barked. “Nope, no, niet, nein, nuh-uh. We’re not here to shop. What the HAY is going on, Pinkie?!” she demanded, her face now inches from Frilly’s. “Like I said, I can’t actually tell you. I promised,” Frilly explained. She then turned to look behind the counter for Pinkemena. Who had since disappeared into a back room, so that helped. Until Pinkie Pie walked into the store. “Oh hey guys there you are what are you doing in a lingerie store are we shopping for somepony I thought none of us had coltfriends oh my gosh are you secretly dat-” her rant came to a crashing halt as she saw who was standing behind the counter. She looked from Frilly, to her friends, to Frilly, and her genuine smile became just a little too even. Twilight rounded on Pinkie with a look of shock and awe akin to having gone to the human realm for the first time. “PINKIE?! But you’re… I mean you-” she said, turning back and forth between the two Pinkie Pies. “CAN SOMEPONY EXPLAIN THIS ALREADY?!” “Sorry,” Pinkie Pie said sheepishly. “I can’t. I promised.” “AAAUUUUUUUUUGH!