//------------------------------//
// Episode 1: Tour 
// Story: No Matter Where 
// by Clean Karma 
//------------------------------//

"This is the music I listened to while writing this."







Hello lucky filly/colt and welcome to the Final Resting Place Museum Tour.
On this pamphlet you will be told a few rules and safety regulations.

1. Do not touch any of the displayed weapons as some of them happen to be very old and unpredictable (e.g. they may take off your hoof by accident, and yes it will do that, you won't be doing that to yourself if you catch my drift).
2. If something doesn't look dangerous, keep the hell heck away from it.  Everything in this museum has a purpose thus, if something looks like it doesn't have a purpose, it's probably trying to look that way.
3. Stay with your guide, and if you get separated, stay with your partner, if you are separated from your partner as well...good luck.
4. DO.  NOT.  TOUCH.  THE ARTIFACTS.  Period, exclamation mark.


And now for a bit of history...




As Cheerilee read the list out loud to her students, many worried faces began to appear.  The foals visibly shuddered several times, and some even took the time to look at the enormous building itself which was massive.




The Final Resting Place was not originally built for the purpose of being a museum.  It was built to defend against the griffon forces during the war.  However, it's design was strange because it had the same design you would likely see a mansion built with.  A fortress built for comfort would make the most sense.
The architect was never found, but the building, due to it's strong design, lived on.  The building itself however was forgotten for many centuries and lost in time.  Eventually, someone stumbled upon it, an adventurer who wandered across the Equestria searching for treasures and a permanent place to live.  His name Karma, his first name known only to his closest friends, has known as Professor Karma since he decided to decorate the inside of the fortress and create the world's greatest museum for historical artifacts: Professor Karmas Final Resting Place Artifacts Museum.

Please enjoy your visit.




One filly in particular was shaking abnormally fast, her name being Sweetie Belle.  She was a white coated unicorn filly, with a mane and tail either dark purple or light purple...or both.

Sweetie stuttered out through her clattering teeth, "M...may...maybe going to...to the m...ma...museum wasn't such...a...a...goo...good idea after...a...all."

One of her compatriots, an orange coated Pegasus with a mulberry mane and tail, immediately disagreed, "What!?  Are you kidding!?  This place is awesome!  Look at it.  This is probably the only time I think a museum could look cool.  And did you read the pamphlets?  Everything in there has at least some major destructive power."

The third of the trio, a yellow coated earth pony who had a red mane and tail with a pink bow in the back to keep her mane up, spoke as well, "Wow Scoots.  Ah didn't know you were into moo-see-ums."

Sweetie Belle refused to divert her attention from the building, in fear that it may try something simply whispered out of the corner of her mouth, "It's pronounced 'Museum' Bloom."

Scootaloo began defending herself quickly, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never said I was 'into' museums."

"You literally just called it awesome a few seconds ago."

"Sh...she has a po...point Scoots," Sweeties gaze continued to be locked on the mammoth creature that was being referred to as a museum.

"Okay maybe I did. but...uh...just..." Scootaloo rubbed the back of her head until she quickly begged, "Please don't tell Rainbow Dash I'm an egghead."

After a Pinkie Promise was made, the class waited until the wooden doors to the museum began to open.  Cheerilee smiled and began speaking to her students, "Okay class, I would like to introduce to you the owner of the museum, Professor Karma, who will be our guide for the day."

As she finished she heard an audible gasp from all the ponies present indicating that they had realized what she already knew.  Turning around she saw that the doors were fully open and there standing in the doorway, was a changeling.  He wore a Cornflower Blue bowtie that match a strange legring he wore on his front right hoof just above his elbow.  He wore a pair of similarly colored round glasses on his nose.  Besides his clothing there was only one thing that made him stand out with the knowledge the students already had of changelings: he had no holes.

As he stepped next to Cheerilee, he smiled at her, nodded his head, and turned to the students, "Hello.  As Miss Cheerilee has already said, my name is Professor Karma.  As I do not know you, I do not feel comfortable giving you my full name, thus I shall be addressed as 'Professor Karma' or 'Professor'.  Understood?"  The way he spoke suggest finality and that he wasn't asking them if that was alright but instead just giving them that information as if it should have been common knowledge.

Every student said, "Yes Professor." in complete unison.

Karma then spoke again with more urgency in his voice, "Now, as you have read the pamphlets, you know the rules: No.  Touching.  Under any circumstance.  Understood?"

"Yes Professor."

"Lastly, there will be a demonstration at the end.  I will not tell you what it will be until then as it would ruin the surprise but I can tell some things.  The demonstration will be of three types of artifacts.  There are many more but these were my safest choices.  One shall be a close range attack weapon, second a ranged weapon, and third a magical defense type weapon.  The ponies demonstrating are professionals I have hired for this specific purpose so please do not pester them.  Now..."  He turned and headed back for the museum doors he had emerged from, "...come along, and don't dawdle.  If you get lost, find a corner, and stay there until you are found within the hour."

One little filly in the crowd, a pink one with a tiara on her head raised her hoof and spoke, "Professor Karma, what happens if we don't get found within the hour?"

Karma stopped walking and with turning around said, "Then may God have mercy on your soul."





Upon entering the doors to the museum, they entered into a hallway, and a second wave of gasps and awes emitted from the foals.  Once again Cheerilee didn't join in the "oohs" and "ahs" but she did marvel at the inside of the building.  At first glance you would not assume that the building was designed for a war.  The interior was quite incredible.  There was a dark oak wainscot along the walls that gave the building an even older look.  The walls were flowing patter alternating between black and tan.  The ceiling stretched way above their heads to the point that the second floor was visible.  On both sides of the hall were long lines of display cases each one with some strange object.

Karma slowed his pace and said, "The structure of this building is actually quite surprising especially since this was built to be a fortress of sorts.  Many wonder where he got the materials to build such a massive building during the war as supplies were in decline."  Karma stopped and turned around to face the foals, "Many creatures have claimed he was selfish for having all these supplies and not sharing with the world.  We'll never know his purpose for building this building but we can still enjoy her beauty.  Now..."  Karma turned to his left and motioned with his hoof, "Does anyone know what this is?"

The entire class turned to their left and looked at one of the display cases.  It hung on the wall with glass surrounding it to keep it from being stolen.  Inside was an object that looked like three metal rods that seemed to have been one piece at one times but were now split into pieces.  On closer inspection, one could see markings on the rods, possibly some sort of writing.

One colt raised his hoof, "They're metal sticks?"

Karma smiled, "When I first saw the thing, I thought so too.  There sure don't look like much.  just a broken staff right?  Wrong.  This is what's know as the Berserker Staff.  The Staff is made from rare type of metal, which presumably can't be found on Equestria, and was the weapon of choice for Asgard's Berserker Army. Berserkers were said to have battled like raging beasts and a single berserker had the strength of twenty normal Asgardians.  Now, onward young ones.  We have much to see."

Many of the colts in the group looked at the broken staff in amazement, likely thinking about what having super powers would be like.

Scootaloo motioned to the staff as they passed it, "You see Applebloom?  This isn't a normal museum.  This is like more of a weapon showing.  If what he says is true, then this is one of the less powerful weapons, meaning the demonstrations gonna be awesome!"

Applebloom looked undeterred, "Yeah, sure.  If yer try'en to make it seem like yer not enjoy'en a moose-iam, then yer failing Scoots."

They both went quiet for a moment, but nothing happened.  Professor Karma was now talking about a shield that was used by Flash Magnet or something, but other then that and the other foals, there was no sound.  Applebloom looked at Sweetie Belle who was looking at the house from angles as if it would sneak up behind her from somewhere.

"Uh, Sweets?"  Applebloom asked, "Are you alright?"

Sweetie Belle didn't respond.

"Sweetie!" Scootaloo yelled before she could stop herself.  All eyes were then on her.
After a few minutes of silence, Karma said, "...uh...well, yes, Flash Magnus did call the love of his life Sweety, I'm sure.  However, I'm looking for a name.  Does anyone else know?"

When attention was drawn away from the Pegasus, she breathed a sigh of relief.  When she turned back to her friends, Sweetie Belle was luckily back to normal looking at both of them worriedly.

"Sweetie,  you alright?" Applebloom asked concerned, "You usually correct mah tahking whenever you can."

Sweetie Belle looked at her two friends and looked confused, "Sorry, it's just..." she turned to look at the house again, "...this place feels weird."

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Well...you two aren't unicorns so I guess I can understand why you wouldn't feel it...but..." She motioned a hoof at the building, "This place is humming with magic.  Literally humming.  I could never use my magic in here without practice, and from the way it feels, even an experienced or powerful unicorn would have trouble just using simple levitation."

Applebloom thought for a second, "Well...that actually would make sense if this place is filed with all the magical doohickeys or whatever.  Maybe some of those things is messing with yer magic."

Sweetie Belle nodded her head but still looked worried, "yeah, that I understand.  The artifacts here would likely do something like that but..." she took a large breathe, "...this place is so fake."

Looking to her friends, she saw their oblivious faces, "I know that sounds weird or stupid or whatever.  When I look at the display cases or the artifacts, I can feel them and see them and what I feel matches with what I see.  When I look around it feels like what I see isn't what I feel.  I...just...I don't know what to think."

The three went silent for a moment in thought until Sweetie asked the one question they hoped never to have to ask, "Um girls, where is everypony?"

Applebloom and Scootaloos eyes went wide in realization as they turned to look down the hallway.  The hallway stretched on that direction, however when they turned around it was exactly the same.

Applebloom began freaking out, "What in Tartarus!?  We weren't that far from the door when we started talking!  This can't be the same hallway.  Can it?"

Sweetie turned and said, "It has to be.  Look."  She pointed to a familiar display case: the Berserker Staff.

"If we had gone anywhere this display case wouldn't be here." Sweetie Belle stated while sweating profusely.

The three fillies started yelling for help.  The cries echoed across the walls and reverberated their bodies but no creature came.  When their echo's ceased, no other sound could be heard.  They hugged each other close and shook with fear.  After several minutes of this, Applebloom stuttered out, "He...hey Sweets?  D...do you reme...member what the paper thingy s...said about getting lo...lost?"

Gulping, the unicorn replied, "Yeah, it said...um to find a corner and hide there.  So I guess we need to find a corner."

Scootaloo said, "I guess that means we have to walk down the hallway to see if there's a corner anywhere down there?"

The other two nodded their heads and the trio began walking.

[meanwhile]

"...and here we have the Skotono, an ancient sword used by..." Karma stopped mid-sentence and turned around to face the students.  He stared at the group for a time until he asked, "Miss Cheerilee, remind again how many students you brought with you."

Cheerilee responded without hesitation, "Sixteen Professor.  Why?"

Karma sighed and closed his eyes in mild frustration before speaking again, "I'm only counting eleven."