As the train rolled on through the northern regions of Equestria, Ashen Blaze leaned back in his seat, staring intently at the petrified Princess Cadance across the table from him and fighting the urge to keep touching his broken and splinted horn. “Why are we all ponies?” he asked after a while.
Gold Heart, Soul Mage, and Dragon Lord Ember all looked up from their own time-killing activities, glanced at Ash, then at each other, and then back at Ash.
“Uh,” Ember said, pointing to herself, “I’m… not a pony.”
“I’m not including you; you’re a native,” Ash said dismissively. “The twins and me, Gale, Sam, Yu-san… Every person who’s come to Equestria from Taryn turns into a pony on arrival. Why?”
“That’s just… how it… works?” Soul said, scratching his head. “This universe doesn’t have humans, so we get changed to fit the dominant sapient lifeform.”
Ember snorted, a wisp of smoke curling from one nostril. “Ponies aren’t a dominant anything,” she said. “They’re too… touchy-feely in general, with a few rare exceptions.”
“Yet, ponies exert complete control over the environment wherever they live,” Soul pointed out, “not to mention that two of them control the very cycle of night and day.”
“And yet,” Ash said sharply, “I can easily list off a dozen other species in this world that are just as sapient as ponies, complete with distinct societies and, in many cases, territory recognized as legally equal to Equestria. Why, then, does every human that passes into this reality become a pony?”
“Ethnicity, maybe?” Gold Heart suggested. “Our group’s entirely Euro-amerigo, after all.”
“Nope,” Ash said, pointing to himself. “Vat-grown alien, remember?”
“Well, maybe you’re based on the Shadowstar version of European, then,” Heart said throwing up her hooves. “You certainly look it.”
“And Yu-san?” Ash asked. “Nipponese back home, yet became an earth pony here.”
“Asia has a pony equivalent,” Soul countered. “Maybe all the non-pony races correlate to our Mythics. I mean, both universes have dragons, after all.” He gestured to Ember in demonstration.
Iron Horse, who has stepped into the car partway through the Order-naries’ conversation, sidled up to the Dragon Lord and asked, “What are they talking about?”
Ember shook her head. “I lost track about eight sentences ago. Please tell me we’re almost to the Crystal Empire, or that the Storm King’s finally caught up to us.”
“Actually,” Iron began, looking slightly nervous. Before he could utter another word, however, the train shuddered and then jerked backwards, throwing Iron and Ember off their feet and Ash out of his seat.
“What the skeb?” Ash exclaimed, scrambling to his hooves and quickly checking that his horn was still splinted. He followed Heart and Soul to the rear of the car, poking his head out the door while the twins crowded onto the platform, and they all looked up as the train jerked and slowed again. Flying above the train were a dozen or so of the Storm King’s airships flying in a V formation, and two harpoons stuck out of roof of the last car on the train, connected to the two ships directly behind the formation leader.
“Those things have no business being so freaking stealthy,” Soul said.
“All right, you troublesome little horses,” the Storm King’s voice bellowed from the lead ship, “I’m giving you one last chance to stop that train and hand over the Princess!”
“I suppose we are on our third strike,” Soul mused, looking at his sister out of the corner of his eye, “so shall we swing for the fence, or just bunt?”
Heart met his sideways look with one of her own. “Just link up,” she said. Soul saluted and extended a tendril of spirit energy from his horn to touch Heart’s shoulder. An aura of ethereal blue fire enveloped the twins, and Heart took to the air, holding her front hooves close together and off to one side. “Your analogy was a bit off, brother,” she said as her aura concentrated between her hooves and turned into a spinning disk of red, blue, green, and yellow energy, “because I’m about to throw them a curveball. Element Wheel!” She spun in the air and threw the disk with all her might toward the harpoons. The Element Wheel sheared cleanly through the lines, and the train lurched slightly as it got back up to speed.
“I’d call that a ‘bunt,’ sis,” Soul said.
“I’m not done,” Heart said, face scrunched in concentration as she swung a hoof up. The Element Wheel flew upward and sheared through a stabilizer wing on one of the zeppelins before fading away. The damaged craft listed to the right, into the path of the ship behind it, causing a domino effect of evasive maneuvers that left half the formation in disarray.Gold Heart landed next to Soul and asked, “How’s that?”
“Eh,” Ash said, pushing his way between the twins, “a hit, but only a double at best. Let me take a swing and-” His horn flickered with orange light, and he winced in pain. “…Right,” he muttered, then stepped back inside the train car and pointed at Ember. “Time for the pinch hitter, then.”
“What are you talking about?” Ember asked, exasperated.
Ash waved a hoof toward the Storm King’s zeppelins impatiently as he answered, “Go do what you tagged along to do: roast a goat.”
Ember had to take a second to parse Ash’s instructions, but then she grinned and nodded. “Out of my way, then,” she said, striding to the door. Once outside, she hopped onto the platform railing and then climbed onto the roof of the car. As she spread her wings in preparation to take flight, she looked back down at Heart and Soul and said, “I thought that pink pony in Ponyville was weird, but you guys are stranger.” She launched into the air, circling as she gained altitude before heading for the lead airship.
“Stranger than Pinkie Pie?” Soul asked, incredulous, “Us?”
“Ash just told her to ‘roast a goat’,” Heart said. “She may have a point.”
“Says the pair who just pulled an extended sports metaphor and managed to rope me into it unwittingly,” Ash retorted with a smirk.
“Pojnt,” the twins conceded.
Three zeppelins launched harpoons at the train, and two of them hit the end of the train and held. The ponies braced as the lines went taut and the train jolted and slowed again. Heart sighed and started preparing another Element Wheel, but paused when Iron Horse shouted, “Uncouple the cars!”
“Come again?” Ash asked as he and the twins glanced back at him.
The conductor waved insistently at them. “Uncouple the cars, I said. We’re too big a target right now, and if we lose all but this first car, we’ll be able to squeeze out a bit more speed. Hopefully that’ll be enough to get us to Hivetown safely…” he finished in a lower tone.
Heart and Soul exchanged a glance, and then Soul turned and reached down to pull the lever to separate the car from the other five. He stumbled as the train jumped back to its original speed, but Heart caught and steadied him before he fell. Soul watched the five train cars as they drifted away in the distance, and said, “I hope that’s not going to become an issue for other trains.”
“We’ve got enough issues of our own to worry about,” Iron Horse said, going over to a window and looking out. “Like, can one small dragon hold off all those ships?”
Ember reached the airships, turned herself belly-up, and unleashed her fire as she glided just beneath the formation leader. The purplish flames wrapped up both sides of the ship, catching on every exposed bit of wood, and quickly ate through the lines holding the gas envelope. Satyrs were flung into the air as the ship tumbled down to the earth and shattered into smoldering rubble instantly on impact.
Heart and Soul both winced slightly at the impact, but Ash’s face remained stoic as he cast a glance at Iron Horse. “Seems she can handle it,” he said.
Two airships dropped out the formation to attempt rescue operations on the downed craft, but the rest continued to pursue the train with nary a pause.
Ember rolled upright, dodging a couple bolts of electricity fired from the deck of the nearest ship, and darted underneath it to start her next attack. Before she could, however, the Storm King’s voice boomed from an airship on the other side of the formation. “Ok, I’ll admit that’s some impressive firepower,” he said, “but if you thought I was on that ship, you’re sorely mistaken.”
“Not a lead-from-the-front type, is he?” Soul commented.
“He didn’t set foot in Canterlot until it was conquered,” Ash pointed out. “If he’s actually on the ship that just broadcast his words, I’ll be surprised.” He frowned suddenly. “It’s a lure!” he exclaimed. “Quick, Heart, fly up and warn Ember not to-”
“Too late,” Gold Heart said, grimly, watching Ember fly out from the airship she’d taken cover under and head straight for the one the Storm King had seemed to speak from. As the Dragon Lord neared her target, three cannons emerged from the side of the ship and fired shots that burst into weighted nets.Ember barely had time to realize her mistake before she was tangled up in one of the nets and being hauled aboard, unable to sputter more than weak wisps of flame.
“Skvetch,” Ash swore softly, face-hoofing. Turning to Iron Horse, he asked, “how much farther to the Empire?”
“We’ll make Hivetown in just a few minutes,” the conductor replied. “From there, it’s a hop and skip to the Crystal Empire.”
“Hm,” Ash said, looking back up at the airships. “Well then, if the twins can keep us free of anymore harpoons…”
“We’ll do our best,” Soul Mage said, reigniting the blue aura of his horn. Gold Heart flew up onto the roof of the car and stood there on her hind legs, wings flapping slowly for balance, as she started another Element Wheel and watched the airships intently.
The airships accelerated, catching up to the train with ease, and the formation split to surround the train. Cannon ports were thrown open, and satyrs armed with grappling lines and lighting-spears lined up on the decks. Gold Heart looked around, bit her lip, and then launched her Element Wheel at one of the ships at random before jumping off the roof and dragging Soul inside. “We’re completely outgunned,” she said, just before the guns started firing.
The first volley left everypony on the train covering their ears against the thunderous report of dozens of cannons, but the only damage sustained was a couple broken windows and a few holes burnt through the roof by lightning-spears. “Well,” Ash started to snark before he was thrown off his hooves by a sudden deceleration of the train. “The skeb?” Ash exclaimed over the screeching of the brakes.
Coal Hob burst into the cabin, and by some silent agreement he and Iron Horse picked up the petrified form of Princess Cadance, carried her over to the side doors, threw it open, and leapt out into the snow with Cadance held between them. Ash, Heart, and Soul exchanged a sequence of glances that encompassed bewilderment at the train ponies’ actions, acknowledgment of their poor strategic position, and grudging acceptance that Iron and Coal probably had the right idea. They jumped out of the train as a group, the twins using their spiriter power and Heart’s wings to control their landing and protect Ash’s horn from any unnecessary tumbling, and then they galloped to catch up with the train ponies, who were already an impressive distance away.
“Skeb vetchiu?” Ash asked as he and the twins caught up. “I don’t think they were aiming to actually hit us.”
“They took out the tracks,” Coal Hob said.
Ash glanced back toward the train in time to see it hit the spot where cannon fire had destroyed the track. The engine jumped, twisted in the air, and came back down on its side, carving a wide rut through the snow as it shed the rest of it momentum. The train car broke apart as it was dragged over the damaged ground. “I see,” Ash said, stoically. “Well, now that the crash is over, why aren’t we heading toward this Hivetown place?”
“We won’t make it going the direct route,” Iron Horse answered. “Besides, I don’t want those airships bombarding the town.” He pointed to a cluster of large rocks just ahead. “We’re headed there.”
“Why?” Gold Heart asked.
“Wait,” Soul said, “let me guess: secret tunnel.”
“Why would you need a secret tunnel to get into a town?” Ash asked. “This sort of situation isn’t exactly common.”
“You’re not… entirely wrong, Mr. Soul Mage,” Coal Hob said. Heart and Soul exchanged a look.
The group reached the rocks, and Iron Horse stopped them in a clear spot near the middle. Soul Mage immediately started poking around for hidden entrances, while Ash and Gold Heart turned to watch the Storm King’s fleet turning about to come after them again. “So, what’s the plan, smart guys?” Ash asked.
“Give it a second,” Iron Horse said with forced calm.
“I can’t find a way out of here,” Soul said anxiously.
“Give it a second,” Iron Horse repeated.
The airships approached, spreading out in preparation to land all around the group. “We’re out of seconds, guys!” Heart said as the first ship’s shadow passed over. The Storm King himself appeared, peering over the railing of the deck, as another Satyr hung a rope ladder to the railing.
Coal Hob nodded once. "Brace yourselves,” he said, and the ground suddenly fell away from beneath the group’s hooves.