Memoir of Misery

by Silvak


Chapter XXXV: Preperations

"So, you're actually going to form your own guard now?" Shining asked as Sapphire and Cadance were stepping into the Royal Guard training grounds where Shining was busy running the guard through some drills. With Luna heading to bed and Celestia busy with some paperwork that also included the funding for Sapphire's future castle, it was up to Cadance to help Sapphire.

As Sapphire was about to answer, Cadance intervened, "Yes, but she needs an officer that would help lead her guard since it would be small scale at first since Sapphire plans on moving to Vanhoover."

While Sapphire was frowning at Cadance speaking for her, Shining replied, "Hmm... since Vanhoover wouldn't be able to support a large military garrison, how large is your personal guard going to be, Princess Sapphire?"

Just as Cadance was about to open her mouth, Sapphire stuffed a hoof into it as she answered, "The size is going to be around seventy for the time being, at least until I can expand my operations on the west coast. And Cadance, please don't answer for me, even if you have an idea of what I’m going to say."

As Cadance blushed at what Sapphire said, Shining nodded as he replied, "Then I think you would only need about four officers with a commanding officer over them. I could find some recruits that might be willing to fulfill those roles, though I would need to know what kind of ponies you would like in your guard first."

Tilting her head, Sapphire replied, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, Princess Luna's Night Guard is filled entirely by thestrals. Along with that, when you have the armor made, you could enchant it to place an illusion to make all your guards look similar in coat and mane colors, like the ceremonial part of the Royal Guard. Those that are part of that are willing to forego physical appearances for a uniform look, something that some ponies might not be willing to sign up for," Shining explained.

"Oh... well, um... do I need to place any requirements? I mean, I don't need my own guard to be complicated, right?" Sapphire asked as she pondered why both princesses had to have such roles in their guards in the first place.

"Well, that would provide a large pool of ponies that might want to sign up for the guard. With such few positions open, you might want to place some kind of requirements in order to thin out the applicants before we get swarmed with too many potential recruits," Shining answered, causing Sapphire to sigh as she placed a hoof against the side of her head.

"Why must things be so complicated... wait, can be being hit with a war hammer before being recruited be enough to thin them out?" Sapphire asked as both ponies gave her a shocked look.

"For Celestia's sake, what pony would put that as a requirement for anything‽" Cadance cried out as she waved a hoof around.

"Well, my earth pony instructor Steel Coat might use that, since my first lesson with her had her hitting me with a war hammer," Sapphire stated, causing the couple to stare at her with gaping mouths. "What? Was it something I said?"


"Wait, Twilight actually freaked out over missing a friendship report?" Sapphire asked at breakfast the next day, stuffing a pineapple into her mouth as Cadance just watched while her face struggled between looking mystified or disgusted.

"Yes, she did, but due to the idea of being sent to Magic Kindergarten if she were to be tardy in sending a report to me," Celestia answered with an amused smile as Sapphire gave her a skeptical look.

"I might not know much still, but ain't that a bit... extre—wait, she lives in the town where ponies just run around outside when a giant bear is attacking. I guess the town is just rubbing off her," Sapphire replied as she shook her head at the thought.

"So says the mare that eats a pineapple as is," Cadance muttered to the side.

Looking at Cadance in confusion, Sapphire replied, "What? Is there supposed to be a specific way to eat a pineapple?" causing Cadance to slam her head on the table as Celestia let out a mild chuckle.


"So wait, you have a holiday, where ponies give you a portion of their candy? For free?!" Sapphire asked two days after hearing about Twilight's paranoia over friendship reports. Sapphire then touched a mirror shard that revealed the image of a younger Sapphire struggling to pull a rope that was tied around her waist, which was tied to a rather large boulder.

"Indeed, though there was much difficulty first beforehoof when the town was reacting with fear to my presence, but with the aid of Lady Twilight, the town came about before I became firmly entrenched in the idea of ending Nightmare Night for good," Luna replied as she pondered what kind of training Sapphire was really getting from her teachers.

"Luna... you were going to cancel a night, where all the foals give you candy for free?! Are you insane‽"


"Trains are so boring! Just sitting here all day, looking at the passing scenery," Sapphire complained as she was sitting in the royal train car with a yawning Luna across from her. It was a week after Nightmare Night, where after Celestia was able to take care of all the funding needed for the construction of Sapphire's castle, along with the government declaration that Sapphire was going to reside in Vanhoover. This served to shock the nobility of Canterlot with the fact that an alicorn was going to be in a rather small city, though Sapphire heard that Blueblood was happy enough that he even threw a private party in honor of her departure. With her not being invited, of course.

"You may think that, but for me, it is a joy to be riding this marvelous piece of machinery," Luna stated while suppressing another yawn. "Though, I'm curious. Since you have been to Vanhoover before, do you have any location in mind that you would want your castle to be built on?"

"No clue, since I spent most of my time attending events or parties. The closest thing to exploring the city's surrounding landscape was being on the Pear family's farm, and I doubt they would like the idea of me building a castle on their land," Sapphire answered with a shrug.

Shaking her head at that, Luna replied, "Well then, here is some advice on where you should build your castle. You should have it located in a defendable position, preferably the high ground, or rough terrain that would disrupt an oppo—"

"Is that really necessary? I mean, based on the maps, the only threats would be from the yaks to the north or a naval invasion from the sea. The latter of which isn't a good idea due to my control over water, and the former, well, we haven't talked to the yaks for while now. And wouldn't building a castle for defensive reasons make it more intimidating for my... 'subjects'?" Sapphire interjected, finding the use of the word 'subjects' to be a bit unnerving to her.

"One must always be on the lookout for potential threats, Sapphire. Even if the yaks have been following a policy of isolationism, it doesn't mean that they could raise an army and come down to the nearest Equestrian settlement to sack it. Which, with Vanhoover being nearby, your castle would become a prime target for their armies. Though, I will help you find a location that would still make it more welcoming to the citizens of Vanhoover if you so desire," Luna countered in an annoyed tone due to being a bit miffed at Sapphire interrupting her.

"Okay... so how long would you being staying with me to help me settle down and rule then?" Sapphire asked as she shuffled around in her seat.

"About a month at least, two months if necessary. Hopefully, by the time of my departure, you'll be able to lead the ponies of Vanhoover with ease. Thankfully, since your domain consists only of a small city with a town to the southeast, your duties will be light in comparison to my sister's. This would give you the time needed to plan your forays to the unexplored west," Luna answered, before yawning as she stretched one of her legs. "It would be interesting to see what you find out there. Maybe you'll find some lost ruin that has a connection to your past."

Frowning, Sapphire recalled the map she was looking at as she commented, "I don't think so. I'm not getting any gut feeling that there is something out there that is drawing my attention to. It's a bit hard to explain, but I just wanted to start there cause it just felt right, you know?"

"Hmm... it might be your destiny calling you there to be the ruler of Vanhoover then. Though, if you do expand Equestria's borders, I wonder if this would result in a Western Equestrian under your rule while my sister and I rule from the east," Luna pondered, as Sapphire folded her ears in response.

"Wait, don't get ahead of yourself Luna. I'm not looking in breaking Equestria in two and ruling half of it for myself," Sapphire quickly stated as she shook her hooves before Luna, who then shot Sapphire a smirk.

"I already know that you don't have the ambition for such a thing, dear Sapphire. You strike me more of a mare that would be perfectly content with a simple life, with the exception of rather large meals. I was simply teasing you for my own amusement," Luna explained, causing Sapphire to roll her eyes in response. However, Luna's smile faded away as she said, "But, having some ambition wouldn't harm you, Sapphire. Many leaders are ambitious upon taking office, with some of them seeking to expand their power and sphere of influence, as you have seen with some of the nobles of Canterlot. Though, this also means you have to keep out for those in your court that are seeking to use their position for their own goals. Some of your staff may be loyal to you, but others may just see you as a stepping stone for their plans, hence you must be aware of those that want to use you."

Sighing, Sapphire nodded as she said, "I'll try to keep that in mind, and that is a reason what I have chosen Vanhoover. Fewer ponies that would want to be connected to me, or try to kiss up just to get on my good side for their own desires. If I actually went to Manehatten or Baltimare, I would have been torn apart by the nobility there. At least in Vanhoover, I just have to worry about the Baroness and the Mayor."

"Ah, you have a good point, along with the foresight to foresee such a thing. It seems that you may be truly ready to rule now, despite your own misgivings about that idea. Though, I would recommend that you don't approach future nobility with a light hoof like my sister had in the past thousand years. If I had my say in things, we wouldn't have incompetent nobles that only sit in their manors counting their bits, much less than a pony such as Blueblood who only hang onto his position due to his 'royal' bloodline," Luna responded with an approving nod before shaking her head as she recalled how her first meeting with her nephew went.

Shivering at the idea of Blueblood showing up in her court, Sapphire replied, "Yeah, I wouldn't tolerate his presence if I ever run something like Celestia's day court. I still wonder why Celestia even keeps him around."

Rolling her eyes, Luna answered, "That, dear Sapphire, is one of the greatest mysteries in the world, even greater than your past. Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to catch some sleep before you mention him any further. I would rather prefer to not have to work to get rid of his presence from my dreams, something that I think you would agree with. Surely, he would turn any dream into a night terror with his 'mere presence'."