“Yes?” Luna leaned into Gosling and with her head tilted upwards, her snoot was mere inches from his jaw. Each breath was shallow and through her mouth, which was opened just enough to reveal her teeth. At this moment, she might have been any filly from any secondary school in Equestria, and her expression of terror did funny things to the features of her face.
For Gosling, this brought back uncomfortable memories of Skyfire Flash. A lie had destroyed his life, had sent him running, it had caused him to uproot himself from his home so that he might find sanctuary elsewhere. Even now, there was still pain, even though he had made peace with Skyfire Flash. But it was a hard peace, and he discovered a part of himself in the process that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with. While he had done right—that much couldn’t be argued—he took the hard right that placed pressure on Skyfire Flash, forcing her to change.
For Luna, he could do no less.
“Luna, I will keep my vows.”
The words struck her with a physical force—he could see the actual moment when her mind registered his words by the pain in her eyes—and then she shuddered. There was a sudden inhalation, but her exhalation got caught in her throat, and she made a bleating sound. Her ears dropped, her tail tucked down between her legs while her wings went slack against her sides.
“No… no… no… no… no!”
Luna started to pull away, but Gosling kept his strong wing around her. She struggled for a moment, shaking her head from side to side, and then collapsed against him with a sob. To watch her suffering was unbearable, but for now, he was determined to allow her to squirm.
“No, not out of a sense of duty, please, anything but that. I need you as my friend! Please!”
“You treated me as a soldier and you withheld things from me that I should have known about. Is this how you treat your friends?” Right before Gosling’s eyes, he saw the evidence that his words drew blood. The pony he held winced and squeezed her eyes shut so hard that he could hear a faint, moist squish. “Tell me, Luna… you’ve been in my head. What’s my greatest fear?”
For a moment, he was certain that Luna would bolt, but he held fast.
“Gosling, please don’t—”
“Tell me!” The volume of his voice caused Luna’s ears to pin back and get tangled up in her messy mane.
“You have a worse than average fear of being lied to but that isn’t your greatest fear.”
“And knowing this, you lied to me—”
“That’s not true! Information was withheld, but that’s not lying!”
“Spoken like a Princess to her soldier.”
The floodgates of Luna’s face opened and tears, black and sooty from mascara, spilled down her cheeks. “You weren’t supposed to find out… you weren’t supposed to find out! Just a little longer and everything would have been fine! This is why ponies shouldn’t be curious! It causes no end of upsets!”
“No, Luna, what causes upsets is lying. Marrying somepony under false pretenses. I made vows to you, vows that I take seriously, vows that I might’ve reconsidered if I knew who and what you really are. I would have at least appreciated knowing the truth of what I was getting into. Knowing me, I probably would’ve still done it. If you would have been honest with me and told me the truth, I would have kept your secret and with that trust, we could’ve been closer.”
She drew in a deep breath, her mouth opened, and more tears flowed like a river, but no words seemed forthcoming.
“Not only did you lie to me, but you denied me the chance to earn your trust. I am nothing to you but a common rank and file soldier. That is the truth of things—you lied about where I stand in our marriage. You lied. We were supposed to have a marriage of equals, and you broke your vows to me. That in and of itself is a special kind of dishonesty. That lie, that breaking of our vows, that undoes everything else. To have and hold sacred? You did no such thing. When you stated those words, that was an absolute falsehood that came out of your mouth.”
“This is harsh of you, Gosling… it’s cruel—”
“Ah, but is it deserved?” he demanded and he squeezed Luna hard enough to force her eyes open. He watched as she hesitated and with each second that passed, a dreadful chill burrowed deeper into his heart. The fact that she delayed, the fact that she had to think about it, he found it insulting.
“It is entirely deserved.” Luna’s voice cracked halfway through and became shrill. “If there is any shred of affection left within you, please hold me for a while and allow me to compose myself… if not, then please… be the good soldier that I so desperately need.”
“—and that, that is the truth of things.” With a heavy heart, Celestia offered up another apology, but she feared that, like all the others, this would not assuage her guilt. “I really am sorry. Cadance, I was wrong to place you in this position. Twilight, you ended up dragged into this, and that’s my fault. Mistakes were made.”
Twilight, sitting on a high-backed paisley chair, continued gnawing upon her hoof in an absent-minded sort of way, her eyes were unfocused, and Celestia had a hard time getting a good read upon her current state of emotions. As for Cadance, Celestia was disturbed by Cadance’s lack of response. Not a word had been said. Flopped out on a chaise lounge, Cadance made no effort at formality and had her chin resting upon a cushion while she stared into the fire.
“Cadance?” Celestia drew out the word and the heaviness in her gut made it difficult to draw breath. Her own fears and doubts were gnawing away at her, and she had to trust that Luna would make things right somehow. If Luna failed, Gosling might very well leave—and that would cause no end of complications and upsets. “Cadance, can you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive—”
“Cadance?” Both Twilight and Celestia said together in unison.
“Are you emotionally compromised again, old lady?” Though Cadance’s words were kind, playful even, there was a hardness to them. “Do I have to take over again? Don’t you dare apologise for doing what is required of you. We both agreed that the best way forward was compartmentalised information in the event that one of us is compromised. You casting a geas on me was a smart thing to do. I can’t be upset with you for being responsible. But I am upset with you for backing down from our established policy. What’s come over you lately?”
“Cadance?” Twilight pulled her slobbery hoof away from her muzzle and cast a befuddled glance at Cadance.
“Twilight, I have a peculiar duality to me. I am both Cadance and Empress. You still don’t fully grasp this concept just yet, which is why you’re kept out of the loop. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. The fact that you are so confused right now about my response is why certain things are kept from you.”
For a moment, Celestia was terrified that a real fight might break out between her two former students, but then she heard Twilight say, “I understand. What you said upsets me, but it rings true. I have much to learn. I still have a hard time being both Twilight and Princess Twilight. I…” The littlest alicorn’s words trailed off and Celestia heard a wet slurp when her former student crammed her hoof back into her mouth to chew on.
“Twilight… Cadance might be a little miffed at her auntie for being duped… but Empress is taking notes so that she might be better at statecraft. If I let my own personal feelings get in the way right now, I’ll miss out on an opportunity to do better. Auntie and I have two separate relationships; a working relationship, and a private pony-to-pony relationship. This is where you suffer some of your worst shortcomings, Twilight, you allow your friendships to bleed over into your working relationships, and this is bad. Now ask yourself right now… are you mad at me for saying this? And if so, which half of me are you angry with?”
“So you are upset!” Celestia seized upon this revelation, but in doing so, missed the thoughtful expression upon Twilight’s face.
Cadance shrugged, which caused the chaise lounge to creak, but had nothing else to say.
There was a wet pop when Twilight pulled her hoof out, and she leaned forwards in her chair. “Right now, the Empress is using this situation to help me out and to try and teach me how to be a better princess. Cadance might be upset, and it seems that she is, but she is not allowing this to cloud her judgment. You… you are waiting to see how this works out… because… because you don’t wish to compromise the working relationship between you and Celestia, because there are bigger things at stake than just some little squabble. Right now, you are leading by example.”
“Twilight, nothing is accomplished by lashing out in anger—”
“Cadance! You’re angry! I knew it” Crossing her forelegs over her barrel, Celestia then wrapped herself up in her wings and began to fret.
“Of course I’m angry, Auntie. I’m peeved, and rightfully so. But there is no point in me taking you to task over this because you’ll do a fine job of that yourself and months of therapy sessions later, you’ll forgive yourself. I am not that upset about the geas… I’m more upset that you allowed Luna, who is compromised, to sway your decisions. That’s what I’m angry about. Luna… is—”
“Don’t say it!” Celestia winced in anticipation and covered her face with one wing, fearing that Cadance might look at her.
“Spoilt. You have to stop coddling your sister. This has to stop, or so help me, there will be an intervention. It’s awful enough that you have to keep cleaning up your sister’s messes, but now, I get dragged into it and I have better things I could be doing. Luna is a spoiled brat and it is all your fault!”
There was a choked gurgle when Twilight almost swallowed her hoof.
“Luna’s had a rough go at things—”
“And you make it harder for her still by shielding her from the consequences!” Cadance lifted her head from the cushion of the chaise lounge, sucked in some wind, and let fly more words. “This can’t continue! If this keeps happening, Luna is going to ruin something truly important, something beyond your marriage, which she’s just made a huge mess of! Are you going to let Equestria take a tumble for your sister’s sake? Are we all going to have to suffer through darkness again because you won’t grow a spine? Yes! You were a bad sister once! You were inattentive, you were cruel, and you bullied your sister into misery! You were awful! AWFUL! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? YOU WERE THE SHITTIEST SISTER THAT HAS EVER LIVED! But right now, you aren’t doing Luna any favours with your overcompensation for your past mistakes! Let go! Let Luna stub her hoof, scrap her knees, and bust open her chin! She’s not getting better and that’s your fault.”
Gagging, Twilight yanked her hoof out and then squealed, “Cadance!”
“See, Twilight, that’s me being Cadance, and not the Empress. See what happens when you allow your personal feelings to bleed over into your working relationships? Don’t do what I just did, it’s wrong. It hurts and it isn’t productive, even if it is something that needs to be said. There are better ways of saying it.”
Slumping over on the sofa, Celestia collapsed in misery. A part of her wanted to be angry with Cadance, but a better, stronger part of her was proud of her former student. Most of what she felt was shame, with a little self-loathing and fear. Doubt and uncertainty joined the dreadful mix, and dark, dreadful thoughts crept into the recesses of her mind. How badly was Luna botching everything with Gosling? Was she a fool for trusting her to make things right? Would Luna make things worse? Luna was terrible at facing up to any sort of meaningful consequences—and Celestia knew that she had made everything worse.
“I apologised for the wrong thing—”
With a snide pricking of her ears, Cadance muttered, “Now she’s getting it.”
“—and it was wrong for me to apologise about the geas.” A log in the fireplace crackled, which was odd, because the log didn’t exist, and Celestia listened to the illusory sounds of the fire while thinking of Luna. “It was wrong of me to allow Luna to compromise my judgment. I have caused disharmony between us. For that, I am sorry.”
“Apology accepted and forgiveness offered in return.” Returning her head to the cushion of the chaise lounge, Cadance let heave a weary, troubled sigh. “You see, Twilight, all of us have a weakness. Celestia’s weakness is Luna. To be blunt, Luna is Equestria’s most dangerous threat, because Celestia is almost powerless against her little sister’s whims.”
“And what’s your weakness, Cadance? I mean, since we’re discussing this and raking one another over the coals, it seems.” Twilight, eager, leaned forwards in her chair and awaited a response.
“That, Twilight,” Cadance began, and she sighed once more before she continued, “is that I am a wife and a mother. If something were to hurt Shiny or Flurry, I would rain disproportionate response down upon their heads. For all of my talk about remaining cool, calm, and of being of a peculiar duality, both Cadance and the Empress are of one accord in regards to this one particular issue. I was soft and weak once. I focused too much on diplomacy and I was squeamish about conflict. Then the changeling invasion of Canterlot happened. I have since shed myself of my old weakness and replaced it with a new one.”
“So, if I wanted to knock the two of you out of power, I would first introduce stability into Luna, which would compromise Celestia’s judgment, and then I’d have to wreck my brother, perhaps by forcing him to choose between you and I, Cadance. Speaking solely as a matter of practical study, of course.”
“Very astute of you, Twilight.” Though somewhat disturbed, Celestia was proud of Twilight’s scholarly bloodthirstiness. “It would be a real shame if you had yet another library burn down around you.”
“Eep!” Covering her mouth with her soggy, sucked-on hoof, Twilight’s eyes darted around, going to and fro, and in a meek voice she replied, “I thought this was a time of learning. I wouldn’t… I would never… but the two of you right now… I just wanted… nevermind what I wanted, time to shut up now.” And with that, Twilight went silent.
“Twilight has fallen back upon being unassuming, timid, and shy.” Cadance’s voice had a very matter-of-fact tone. “Are you buying it, Auntie?”
“Not for a second.”
“Oh… horsefeathers!”
Rolling over onto her back while kicking her legs out in all directions, Celestia struggled to get comfortable and she worried about the two hot-headed adolescents she had left alone together. “Cadance, I’m terrified.”
“We once started a conversation with the words, ‘Cadance, I’m lonely.’ It led to great things, Auntie.”
“Cadance, I’m terrified that I can’t deal with my sister on my own. I know that I am already getting help for it, but now that Gosling knows…” Words failed Celestia and she lay on her back in an undignified pose, hating herself for not being able to finish the sentence.
“You want Gosling to be the on-call hardass? Look, you know the rules. I can’t help you until you ask for it.” Cadance’s ears drooped, she yawned, and then kicked out her hind legs into a sploot.
“Yes, Cadance. Let us do now what should have been done from the beginning. Gosling isn’t afraid to chew Luna out. He’s done so several times now. I mean, he’ll just lay right into her without a second thought, and it infuriates Luna. She’s demanded that I do something to make it stop… and… I haven’t. I was being passive-aggressive about the whole mess with the hopes that it would sort itself out. But Gosling needs to be brought in on the plan and assigned as the Luna-wrangler. I can’t be trusted.”
“Auntie, do you think Luna will actually listen? She’s awfully headstrong.”
“Cadance… I think… and I could be wrong… but I think that Luna adores him because he’s brave enough to stand up to her. Gosling has this policy of do no harm but take no shit. I think it will define him as a ruler, once he matures. If he sticks around, that is.”
There was a soft gasp from Twilight and under most circumstances, Celestia would have smiled, or thought about smiling. Little Twilight Sparkle was still far too worshipful and far too blinded by said worship for her own good, but it was fading with maturity. One day, Twilight wouldn’t be shocked or stunned by anything that Celestia did, and on that day, they would be equals.
Until that day…