//------------------------------// // Chapter 53 - Bridle Gossip Part 1 // Story: The True Me // by lightningman //------------------------------// I smile and look out at the two humans/animals now taking a nap under the tree. I smile. I then heard a rustling coming from a path out of the everfree forest nearby. I widen my eyes as zecora came out. "What? I gently say. I hurry to the sleepers and shake them awake. "Guys. guys. Wake up." "Mmn, what is it?" Sage said groggily as he woke up. "Is it those manticores again?" Alex asked as he lifted himself off the ground. "Worse. It's that racist episode." "Fun times," Sage said angrily. "(Beep)in' hate genuine racism." Alex said, his dark red fur beginning to glow and small embers formed and dispersed at random. "Yeah." I turn to see Fluttershy flying out towards Sugarcube Corner. "Well, it's almost time for the episode to start. Turn into humans. We'll meet Twilight." They nodded as they took off running back to Ponyville, Sage turning into a rolling ball of black and red flesh before becoming human again, clothes reforming as he ran, as Alex burst into smoke, which rose and reformed as a human again before both took off flying, one with Ki and the other with a pair of grey and black wings. I smile and twist with a crack and reappear beside Twilight with another crack. To my surprise, she didn't flinch. "Hello, lightningman." She sighed as she looked at the sky. "This is a gorgeous day isn't it?" "Rainbow Dash must have gotten up early for once and cleared all the clouds away," Spike said as he sat on Twilight's back. "I bet all of Ponyville is going to be out enjoying the sunshine." She then noticed that the streets were abandoned. "What? Where is everypony?" "I would love to tell you but I have no clue how lightningman is handling his future knowledge situation, which Alex and I share to a degree," Sage said, landing next to lightningman. "Alex has immersed himself with the populace and is putting up a façade of cluelessness. He'll be joining us later for you know what." Sage said to lightningman. "How I deal with this is, I usually let the friendship lesson go undeterred unless there's something that isn't necessary or there's something that I'm able to manipulate without interfering too much," I say. Just then we heard a voice. "Psst! Twilight! Spike! Come here! Come! Here!Hurry!Before she gets you!" Pinkie Pie said inside of a dark Sugarcube Corner. We all went and joined her. "What's going on Pinkie? Why are you standing her alone in the dark?" "Oh. I'm not alone." Just then, the rest of the mane 6 became visible. "Are you lightningman?" Sage and I turned around, revealing the owner of the unfamiliar voice to be a gray Pegasus with spiked, zebra-striped mane and tail, the former being slightly swept back. His cutie mark was a black lightning bolt with white wings. "That's Alex. His name in this form is Shade Blitz. He asked us to act like we've never met him." Sage whispered in my ear. "Yeah." I nod "what did you need?" "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Shade Blitz. It's my understanding that you've recently replaced Blueblood as Equestria's Prince?" Alex said. I blink a few times. "It's also my belief that that news wasn't supposed to be known until after the Grand Galloping Gala." "I miiight've lent him Rasiel for a bit while we were flying," Sage said loud enough for only me to hear. "Thankfully I told him about Rasiel's ability to change the future since everything written in it is or is made fact. It's my only reality warping Angel." Rasiel: lh3.googleusercontent.com/-WITw3C4wC20/WBBxJLb3LbI/AAAAAAAAZn0/Lelk9LufA-MPXV2GMNg14YkNaOHHKhKcACJoC/w530-h363-n/2b68c9951f5db3e1b2fc061567923e33%2Bcopy.jpg I look at him for a few seconds. i then groan. "note to self, keep tight hold over universe border so that (beep) like this doesnt happen." "If it helps any, we're very picky about what we do when it comes to the timeline." Alex said. "Anything that can completely change the course of events is literally treated like Pandora's Box." "And we don't (beep) with Pandora's Box." Sage added. "ok." i sigh. I then see the mane 6 looking at the Shadeblitz. "Um... We know your one of those humans." Rainbow Dash said as she poked him. "They don't." Alex said, gesturing outside. "True, But they've been seeing humans for the past few days regularly." Twilight pointed out. "I think they can handle one more." "Then how about this, I'm a Pegasus cuz I wanna be. Or would you rather me be a Night Fury or Deadly Nadder? Both are dragons, by the way. Small, but still dragons." Alex said. "Now that you bring it up, I could use some Night Fury and Nadder DNA." Sage said. "NO!" They all yelled. "I don't want to deal with another dragon," said Fluttershy. "Anyway. Can we please continue on with the show?" I ask. "Yeah. What are you all doing here in the dark anyway?" "We're hiding from her." Applejack said as she pointed out the window to zecora in the cloak. Just then, Zecora looked over here and everyone except Twilight ducked out of the way. "Did you see her? Did you see Zecora?" Asked Applebloom. "Apple Bloom! I told you never to say that name." Applejack said. "Racist." I cough quietly into my fist "Tell me about it." Sage said. "Did some social experiments a while back and got negative results with everything but zebras and ponies." "Anyway. I saw her glance this way." Twilight said "Glance Evily this way." Said Pinkie Pie. ".... And then a bunch of you flipped out for no reason." "No good reason? You call protectin' yer kin no good reason?" Applejack said. "Against anything dangerous? Of course not. But against one lone being? Yes. I call it a terrible reason." I said "Honestly, the worst she'll do is throw a stun potion at you. She's a shamaness, not an evil enchantress. A good friend of mine too, taught her some potions that only I could teach her to make." Sage said. I then sigh. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Let's just let the show continue." I say to sage. "Anyway.as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town, she started shakin' in her lil' horseshoes." Applejack said as she began to shake applebloom "Did not!" She said. "So I swept her up and brought her here." "I walked here myself!" "For safe keepin'." "Applejack, I'm not a baby! I can take care of myself!" "Not from that creepy Zecora." "She's mysterious." Fluttershy whimpered "Sinister." Said Rainbow Dash "And spoooooky!" Said Pinkie Pie "You also considered me all three. And look how I actually was." I mumbled. "No comment." Sage deadpanned. Alex broke out in a loud bout of laughter as he fell to the floor. (Masaru's face: cyclopsphoto.ca/temp/akatsuki_deadpan.jpg) Twilight groans as Zecora lowers her hood to reveal her striped mane. Everyone else gasps "Will you cut that out?" Twilight asked "Just look at those stripes! So garish!" "She's a zebra." "A what?" Everyone except twilight asked. "A zebra, and her stripes aren't a fashion choice Rarity, they're what she was born with." Rarity then faints "Born where? I've never seen a pony like that in these parts, 'cept...her!" "She was born in Zebrica. A faraway place." I said as Twilight nodded "Yeah. Where does she live now?" "That's something else odd about her. She lives in the Everfree Forest!" Applejack said There was a crash. "SPIKE!" Twilight yelled. "SORRY!" He yelled from the kitchen. "The Everfree Forest, the only place in Equestria that's like home... for most humans. I practically lived in a forest back home called the Forest of Death." Sage said. "Sounds like fun." Alex said. "It is, when you're top dog." "Heh, yup!" "listen. This might be a joke to you, But the Everfree forest just ain't natural." Applejack said. "The Plants grow." "The animals care for themselves." Fluttershy said quietly "And the clouds move ..." Rainbow Dash began "all on their own!" All three cried. I blink a few times and groan. "That's the (Beep)ing definition of natural."I said "I've seen worse. Ain't nothing to worry about." Sage said. "And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil... stuff! She's so evil I even wrote a song about her!" Pinkie Pie said "Here we go." Rainbow Dash groans "She's an evil enchantress, She does evil dances, And if you look deep in her eyes, She'll put you in trances. Then what will she do, She'll mix up an evil brew, Then she'll gobble you up, In a big tasty stew. Soooo...Watch out!" She sang "Wow. Catchy." Twilight deadpanned "It's a work in progress." Pinkie said "This is all just a lot of gossip and rumours. Now tell me; what exactly have you actuallyseenZecora do?" "Well... Once a month, she comes into Ponyville." "oooh," Twilight says sarcastically "Then, shelurksby the stores." Twilight gasps. "Oh, my." She rolls her eyes "And then, she digs at the ground," Fluttershy said "Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit?" "Yeah! Maybe she's just tryin' to be neighborly." Apple bloom said "And maybe she's not lurking by the stores, maybe she'sgoingto them, lurk free, to do some shopping?" "Yeah! Everypony likes to shop. You know what I think?" Applebloom said again. "Apple Bloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk." Applejack scolded "Says the one who's knickers were shivering." I heard Sage mumble. "Yeah, no kidding." Alex mumbled back. Applejack glares at them both while Applebloom mumbles under her breath. "W-what about digging at the ground? You've got to admitthat'sweird." Rainbow Dash said defensively "What if she's digging for innocent creatures?" Fluttershy said as pinkie continued to sing her song. "I am sure there is an explanation for everything Zecora does. And if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth." Applebloom hears this and smiles. she leaves. "You ponies are being ridiculous!" Twilight yelled "Well, I heard that Zecora eatshay." "Pinkie, I eat hay; you eat hay! Everyone here eats hay." "Um..." I was just about to correct her before pinkie interrupts me. "Yeah, but I heard it's the evil way she eats hay." "How can you eat hay evilly?" I raise an eyebrow. "Hey! Where's Apple Bloom?" Applejack said. "Outside." I say to her. "and zecora's still out there!" Rainbow dash said "That silly lil' filly! I told her to stay put!" Applejack said. "Spike, you stay here in case Apple Bloom comes back." "Will do." He nodded as we all left. A few minutes later we were just bordering the everfree forest. "Applebloom?" Applejack yelled. We heard a gasp "You get back here right now!" "Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!" Zecora warned. I looked at the poison joke. I then looked at the other two humans. "I don't know about you guys, but I want to know what happens to me when i come in contact with Poison joke." I turned to zecora. "Get that antidote ready, I might need it." I say as i grab some poison joke. "Poison Joke plays an ironic joke. I can destroy any of the Poison Joke that gets on me and therefore avoid any pranking." Sage said. "Can you do that for me? I'd rather not find out if Poison Joke annihilates my anger control. To put it simple, I'm the Hulk on major steroids." Alex said. "Yeah, sure. Just hold still." Sage said, putting his hand on Alex. Blacklight burst forth from his hand and completely covered Alex. They stayed this way for a few moments before the virus receded and Sage's had was reformed. "There, that should do it." "I almost feel violated." "Look, I may be an Incubus, but I'm most certainly not a rapist." Sage said. "Yeah, he'll only make You want to rape Him." "Not gay either. I'll tell it to you straight, I'm the most violent, non-sexually oriented incubus you'll ever meet. I'm also straight." Sage said, crossing his arms. "non sexually orientated incubus.... are those even a (beep)ing thing?" "Treat it like Pinkie and don't question it." Sage said. "Question what?" Masaru asked "Exactly." "fine." i roll my eyes "Anyway, what next? Return to Ponyville?" Alex asked. I look at the girls, they were already leaving. "looks like it." i cross my fingers. "for the love of god let my joke not be my lightning being taken away." "Oh, speaking of lightning, as I'm sure you've already guessed, I have a huge array of abilities of all sorts, and quite a few are lightning based. I may be able to give you some of my power or help you find ways to copy some techniques like Chidori or some Lightning Dragon Slayer spells. Heck, I even have some Electric-type Pokemon moves I might be able to teach you. That is, if you're up for it." Sage said. "Also, watch you're joke end up being the ability to utilize water. If that happens, then I'm either calling you Aquaman or Sharkboy until it's cured." "That'll be a heck of a sight." Alex said. "Yup!" "you call me either of those, i dont care how fucking overpowered you are, i will strangle you and make you dance like a goddamn puppet." I say. darkning came with his voice in sync with mine for the whole thing. "Normally, I'd do it anyway, but I feel like the Author would have my (beep)." Sage said. "Probably." "yes i would." he said "now get to the house, its already dark and i want to see if every reaction is unique between alternate versions and future/past versions of me with poison joke." "Well shoot, if it's dark out then I can use Shadow Sneak to get back. Type Slate: Ghost.Shadow Sneak." Sage said, a dull purple plate appeared briefly behind him before he sank into the shadows of the trees around us. "Well if he's gonna do that, I'm gonna go flying as a Night Fury." Alex said. "You wanna join? I have a saddle." "Sure." i shrug. "lets just hurry." Alex burst into smoke, reforming as a black Night Fury with grey stripes that had a leather saddle, stained the same grey as his stripes, on his back. He also bore amber eyes instead of green eyes. He motioned for me to hop on with his head. I nod and hop on, grabbing hold around the neck Alex flares his wings before flapping hard, launching us into the night sky towards Ponyville. The flight was a short one and we arrived to my place silently. Sage rose out of the shadow of a nearby bush soon after. "Ok. you can go choose your beds." i open my door. i then get an idea and conjure a code lock for my door. it asks, "who is the most powerful of the princesses?" i type in the answer and lock my door "Alright, sweet. I'll probably meditate the night away since I don't really sleep anymore." Sage said. "Well, I'm tired so I'm off to bed. I'd put a sock on my door but, well... I think we all know what that means." Alex said. "G'night." "Night." Alex said before picking a room and hopping in bed, leaving his swords and disk nearby.