//------------------------------// // Chapter 45 // Story: The Perilous Gestation of Swans // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// The first stirrings of anger fuzzed over Gosling’s thoughts and the muscles in his legs twitched from the anticipation of conflict. Why was he angry? He thought about that while making purposeful strides down the long hallways and he already had himself a conclusion: he’d been lied to. Clearly, something shady was going on, and if he hadn’t been lied to lied to, then at the very least, somepony had been less than honest with him. Luna’s illusions were too strong, there were gaps in available information, and Gosling was almost absolutely certain that he sensed a cover-up of some kind. There was a hole in need of filling and the complete lack of anything was all the evidence he needed to know that something was amiss. This administration was too thorough, too perfect, too completionist to leave out such a significant chunk of Luna’s life. Yes, Gosling decided, they had goofed by going against their own established directives, he told himself. Canterlot Castle was all about rules, directives, protocol, everything was structured and rigid; any variation at all from the rules was frowned upon. As all of this settled into Gosling’s mind, he knew, he knew that something was amiss, and with his certainty of wrongness, his anger grew, clouding his good sense and judgment. Something unpleasant happened to pegasus ponies when they felt that their loyalty had been snubbed, something primeval, the primordial pegasus pony spirit within recoiled over the fact that he had been wronged. It didn’t take long for Gosling to work himself into a seething lather and pulsating, throbbing veins stood out in his neck, despoiling his exceptional beauty. His proud, pompous peacock strut became something else entirely as he closed in on Cadance’s known location. He would get his answers… or else. The musty smell of the library tower made Gosling want to sneeze. This was once the residence of Twilight Sparkle, back when she was still Celestia’s student, and she and Cadance were here now, reminiscing over days gone by. The pair of them stood near an enormous hourglass having an animated discussion—and Gosling didn’t feel bad in the slightest for interrupting them. Perhaps sensing trouble, Twilight’s friendly demeanour departed, her eyes narrowed, and her ears pivoted forwards in Gosling’s direction whilst he approached. Cadance too, cottoned on that something wasn’t quite right and after casting a sidelong glance at Twilight, she whispered something to the smaller mare out of the corner of her mouth. It was Twilight who came forward and in a cautious voice asked, “Is something wrong, Gosling?” “I came for some answers,” Gosling replied and he kept his eyes on Cadance. “Well…”—Twilight let out a nervous chuckle while stepping sideways to be closer to Cadance—“you’re in luck, Gosling, this is a library.” When Gosling did not laugh, concern deepened the furrows on Twilight’s brow. Cadance seemed to be sizing up the situation and within Gosling, a major battle raged: his guard training demanded that he be servile to the princesses that he served, while his pegasus nature seethed for want of answers. It was an awful place to be in and it only served to make everything worse. His own loyalty demanded that he do his job without question and it was difficult to override his sense of duty. “Gosling, what troubles you?” Cadance asked, and the warm, sincerity in her voice made it difficult to be angry. But Gosling wanted to be angry, because it felt good. All of this had been building up for a while, and after getting worked up about it, he sought release. Having convinced himself that Cadance had answers—that Cadance had withheld those answers—Gosling found it difficult to put together whatever it was he wanted to say in response. Far too late to do anything about it, Gosling found himself in the Soldier’s Dilemma, where one had to confront somepony higher in the chain of command. It only added to Gosling’s growing frustration. “By any chance, Gosling, would this have something to do with you searching for information about Luna?” She knew. Somehow, she knew. A hot prickle slithered up the back of Gosling’s neck, snaking through his mane, and it made all of his muscles go tight. If she knew, if she suspected something, it stood to reason that she had something to hide. Cadance—the busybody—knew. His breathing quickened and though he had so much to say, he still found himself at a loss for words. “Cadance, what’s going on?” Twilight asked while turning her head around to get a better look at her sister-in-law’s face. In a commanding, imperious tone, Cadance responded, “Twilight, stay out of this—” “Don’t you talk down to me like you’re still my foalsitter!” Twilight, suffering from major piloerection, now had all of the hair along her spine standing up. Now that she had her dander worked up, she took a few steps away from Cadance, swung her body around, and now stood in a place of neutral ground, away from the now-startled pink alicorn. “What’s this about Luna and why is Gosling so upset? Why are you suddenly so defensive, Cadance? This isn’t like you at all. Did you bug out on me again?” “Twilight, now is not the time.” Cadance’s voice was commanding, but gritty. “Gosling, I’m sorry that you stumbled into this, but you really need to leave this issue alone. Respect Luna’s privacy.” While Twilight bristled and her face purplefied, Gosling found his tongue. “So something is being kept from me. I thought so. I want to know what’s going on with Luna. I’m not leaving until I get answers. Tell me, Cadance, or I’ll go right to Luna and demand some answers. Who knows how upsetting that might be. I’m trying to save her feelings right now and you can spare her some grief by telling me the truth.” “You are in no position to lay down ultimatums,” Cadance snapped while her body took on a more defensive posture. “You will do no such thing, Gosling. Now drop this issue and let it rest.” Drawing herself up to her full height, Twilight Sparkle went stiff-legged and her eyes narrowed into fine slits while she stared at her sister-in-law. “What’s going on with Luna and why is Gosling being denied information about his wife?” Now as purple as a dangerous stormcloud, Twilight advanced on Cadance, her movements jerky and her wings fidgeting against her sides. “What is going on with Luna that I don’t know about?” Emboldened by having an ally, Gosling also advanced. “Something is being hidden, Twilight. Something big involving Luna. You save her from Nightmare Moon and she comes back as a filly. You saw her! You were there! Not long after, she just vanishes from public view completely, and when she does make a return to the public eye on Nightmare Night in Ponyville, she’s a fully grown adult mare. Does this seem odd to you?” Twilight halted, her tail swishing from side to side in agitation, and her eyes widened while understanding ripped through the purple stormcloud that was her face. When she spoke, her voice wasn’t one of anger, but of distracted curiousity. “Hey, waitaminute, that's more than a little peculiar…” Her lips continued to move for a time, but no words came forth, but then she shook her head and looked up at her former-foalsitter. “What’s going on, Cadance! Is Luna a changeling?” “What? No! Twilight, stay out of this!” Cadance snapped and her own face had progressed from pleasant pink to perturbed purple on the emotional-equine colour scale. Something happened, Cadance’s horn flashed with pink light, but Twilight’s horn also flashed and now, Cadance appeared profoundly panicked while Twilight’s fury seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds. From the looks of things, Twilight was even angrier than he was, and something about that felt great. “No, Cadance! No teleporting away to avoid this! As your fellow princess, I demand to know what’s going on! What secrets are being kept from me? Why wasn’t I trusted? Why can’t I be treated like an equal? Don’t I deserve it? Haven’t I done enough? Why is it that I am always the last to know anything? I’M SICK OF IT, CADANCE!” “Twilight, back off! Now is not the time, and no, Luna isn’t a changeling!” Cadance, angry and panicked, took several steps back and was halted when her backside bumped into a half-height bookshelf that was devoid of books. “No running away, Cadance. Now I want some answers!” Since Cadance had nowhere to go, Gosling advanced and moved closer to Twilight’s side. “I want to know who I married, Cadance—” “GUARDS!” Cadance’s voice was like a deafening thunderclap in the spacious confines of the library; the word pealed and echoed through the room, causing Twilight and Gosling’s ears to prick in pain. “Cadance, I’m not fuckin’ around witchu, I want some answers!” Perhaps because help had been summoned, Cadance took the offensive. “How dare you speak to me like some Broncs hoodlum!” Her words were punctuated by a distant horn blast and her eyes blazed with a renewed confidence. “You will stand down, soldier, and I will not be spoken to in such a manner! STAND DOWN!” Gosling flinched as every muscle, every nerve in his body jerked to obey, and just as he started to back away, Twilight delivered a stunning slap to his face with her wing. The pain was enough that it flooded his eyes with tears, his nose had a second heart thumping within, and his head—though swoony from pain—was free of Cadance’s command. Gritting his teeth, he took a moment to pull himself together while Twilight bared her teeth at her sister-in-law. “That’s fighting dirty, Cadance! That’s sissy filly fighting! I thought you were better than that!” Twilight sucked in a deep breath with a wheezing sound and was about to unleash a torrent of words upon her former foalsitter, but explosive flashes of light burst all around her, and caused Twilight to go on the defensive. Guards had arrived—unicorns dressed in ornate armor— and they arrived by the score. With each flash, more arrived, and in the span of an eyeblink, the library had become crowded. Gosling found himself surrounded and dozens of razor-sharp spears were now pointed right at him. Twilight too was in a similar position, and a wall of armor was now around Cadance. A century of Immortal Solars had arrived. More annoyed than angry, Twilight’s lip curled back in a sneer, she snarled, and with an explosive burst of magic that made Gosling’s ears pop in such a painful way that he feared that they were bleeding, every single guard in the room vanished—but their armor and spears were left behind. Twilight was powerful beyond measure, but teleporting a hundred ponies, plus their weapons and armor were beyond her limits. For now. “Dirty pool, Cadance…” Twilight began clucking her tongue and she kicked a helmet away from her. “Dirty, dirty pool.” For the first time in his life, Gosling watched as the sun rose indoors… Princess Celestia exploded into existence, causing several bookshelves to go flying. Gosling was lifted from his hooves and thrown into the massive hourglass, while Cadance was flipped over onto her back. Somehow, Twilight was the only one who didn’t budge, and she had an unbearably smug look upon her face while she stood rooted to the spot. “Since you called the guards, Cadance, I called the teacher!” Wings out, eyes white with crackling energy, and her mane popping with thousands of tiny, fiery explosions, Celestia was a terrifying figure. Gosling had never seen her like this, and though it was dreadfully stupid to do so, he reminded himself that this was his wife and that he had a right be angry, so he held on to his fury, refusing to let go. Groaning, Cadance rolled over and got back up on her hooves, then stood there, rubbing her head with one dusty wing. What is going on here? Celestia’s terse sentence shattered the hourglass that Gosling was standing near, and he shielded his face with his wings. It was that voice again, that strange overpowering voice that seemed to be more inside of the head than outside of the head, and he could never quite make up his mind on what it sounded like. Only one thing was for certain: it was the voice that would announce the end of the world. “Cadance was being a real bi—” Be silent, Twilight Sparkle! This time, the force of Celestia’s voice blew over a bookcase and sent hundreds of books spilling out onto the floor. Twilight’s ears flapped like windsocks in a hurricane, and her lips were peeled back from her teeth. Had her hooves not been rooted to the floor by magic, she might have gone tumbling to the far side of the room. “I came for some answers!” Gosling, emboldened, lowered his wings and dared to look Celestia in the eye. “There’s something funny going on with Luna and I have a right to know!” The alabaster alicorn blinked, but the white flames that concealed her eyes didn’t extinguish. If anything, they blazed even brighter and Gosling was torn between throwing himself down upon the ground so he could prostrate himself before her or to stand in defiance. Thankfully, Celestia spared him the decision, because she focused her burning stare on Twilight once more. You. You forcibly conjured me to this location against my will. Explain yourself at once, Twilight Sparkle. Give me a reason to spare you for your trespass. Twilight, now cowed, took on the aspect of a small, frightened filly. “The guards showed up. Cadance sicced the guards on Gosling and he had spears pointed at him. It felt terribly unfair. All he wanted was some answers, and Cadance got ugly about it.” Is this true, my former student? Cadance, who was now the recipient of Celestia’s burning stare, shrank back and begin to squirm, but was unable to return Celestia’s gaze. Looking down at the floor, Cadance shuffled her hooves and she too, appeared very much like a scolded filly. “I was angry and when I felt ganged up on, I panicked. I suffered a moment of poor judgement.” I can expect this coming from him. Celestia extended one wing and pointed with her primaries at Gosling. He is still a colt whose blood runs hot. It shames me to say it, but he is justified in his anger. As for the two of you… neither of you have any suitable excuse for your actions. While I am positive that both of you have plenty to say for yourselves, I have no desire to hear it at the moment. Both of you have failed me. Perhaps it was his youthful, heated blood as Celestia had put it, but Gosling made a bold advance upon the astronomically angry alicorn. She burned like the sun and he could feel waves of heat striking him with near-physical force. The stone floor was unbearably warm and grew warmer with each step closer to Celestia. Gosling himself was burning up from within, his pride still pricked, and his anger left unsatisfied. “I want some answers from yous,” Gosling said as he came to a stop a yard away from Celestia. “And you’s going to cut it out with that voice thing you’s doing, ‘cause I ain’t gonna put up with that shouting nonsense.” Is that so? “I CAN SHOUT TOO!” Gosling bounced around on his hooves, flapped his wings, and then put himself into Celestia’s face. It was like standing too close to a fire, and he began sweating right away. “I SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS YOU AND I’VE WATCHED AS YOUS DROPPED A DEUCE IN THE TOILET! I’VE SEEN YOUS AT YOUR BEST AND WORST! AND I AM NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT!” Twilight fainted and hit the floor with a meaty smack. “Secrets were kept,” Celestia said, her voice a calm, emotionless deadpan, but her eyes still blazed with inner light. “Secrets had to be kept, and the fewer that knew about them, the better. You have my most sincere, most heartfelt apology, Gosling. It was I who commanded that these secrets be kept.” “I told you this was a bad idea.” Whipping his head about, Gosling almost gave himself a neck injury trying to look at Luna. Something about her words were off, something about the way she spoke, which seemed to change at odd intervals. He considered her for a moment, then considered Celestia, and tasted hot bile in the back of his throat. “No fuckin’ way am I fallin’ for that shit,” Gosling said while backing away. “Luna shows up after Celestia does the big angry alicorn thing and takes the blame for it, while saying this line of nonsense about how she thought it was a bad idea.” Wings out, trying to make himself as intimidating as possible, he sneered in contempt at Celestia. “You’s still trying to protect your sister by trying to redirect my anger away from her. You’s trying to take the blame for this alone, so I won’t be pissed at Luna. What, yous think I’m stupid? Is that what yous be thinkin’? Yous think yous married a stupid prettyboy? Whossat pretty fuckin’ birdy?” “I wanted to tell you—” “DON’T FUCKIN’ LIE TO ME!” Bucking out with his hind legs, Gosling bashed a fallen bookshelf into splinters. “I don’t even fuckin’ know yous! I have no fuckin’ idea who yous even are! I married a stranger who FUCKIN’ LIES TO ME!” Frozen in place, Luna sniffled and her mascara began to run. It appeared as though she was about to say something, her mouth opened, but no words came out. She blinked, her mouth still open, and then there was a soft click of her teeth when her mouth closed. Perhaps sensing trouble, Cadance lifted Twilight, wrapped herself in a fizzling, popping shield bubble, and then made a hasty retreat for the door. Celestia did nothing to stop her. “The truth is,” Luna began, and her voice was strained, “Celestia wanted to tell you. I swear this is the truth. We fought, she and I. We bickered. Things were said. Even though she was uncomfortable with it, in the end, she agreed to keep my secret, but also said that things might end in disaster because of my bad decision.” Cringing from mental pain, Gosling ground his teeth together and then turned away from Luna. “I don’t believe a word you’s saying. The way you’s speakin’ right now, it’s off, Luna. I don’t even know who yous is. You’s is still lying to me. You’s an illusion Luna, whatever yous is right now, yous ain’t real.” “It isn’t an illusion.” There was a gulp as Luna swallowed and the soft rustle of feathers rubbing against fuzz could be heard while she squirmed. “This is an age spell I cast upon myself. It is magically taxing, rather than mentally taxing, and I do it when I need to be lucid and have clear thoughts. When mine sister sent me a message that the worst has happened and that everything she had said would come to pass has actually come to pass, I came to face the music, as the modern parlance goes—” “But you couldn’t face me as yourself?” Gosling demanded and the back of his mind took some small comfort in the fact that Celestia’s message to her sister had included an ‘I told you so.’ Every muscle in his body had frightful twitches and he could feel the blood pounding in his ears. “Gosling, Equestria must appear that it is ruled by competent leaders. I am eternal, so I changed my outsides to reflect what I am on the inside—” “Don’t even start with that!” Gosling stalked away, his hooves stomping, and he waved his wings about in an effort to cool off. “You lied to me! You deceived me! You—” “What does it matter how I look on the outside to you, Gosling? I am eternal!” Seething, Gosling bucked out and kicked another bookshelf, which also shattered into splinters of sundered wood. He tried to speak, couldn’t and stomped away again, snorting and flicking his tail in the rudest, most inconsiderate way he could muster. While his body language suggested a pegasus looking for a fight, his retreat from Luna also had much to say. “Why are you so angry?” Luna demanded. “I don’t get it! If you would just tell me, we could work this out!” “Because!” Gosling spat out the word and then hesitated, unsure if he should speak in anger, but then the words came tumbling out anyway. “Because, more than once now, I’ve almost fucked you and the idea that I might’ve been fucking some little filly in disguise MAKES ME HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS, YOU DUMB, IGNORANT, OUT OF TOUCH CUNT!” Celestia face-winged and very nearly impaled herself on her own horn. Luna’s mouth fell open in shock. As for Gosling, he took out his fury on another bookshelf and smashed it into bits. Still angry, Gosling bucked a bust and though the stone pony head didn’t break, it did tip over with a mighty, mighty crash. It just wasn’t enough though, so Gosling continued to storm about, smashing and breaking everything in his path like a whirlwind dervish of destruction. “I deserved that.” Luna’s words were enough to make Gosling stop mid-buck and a bookshelf was spared—for now. “I… I… think I understand. In the modern parlance it is called ‘informed consent.’ I offered myself up to you without revealing myself to you. That… that was wrong of me. You have every right to hate me… I would apologise, but at the moment I am not certain it would make any difference.” Gosling glared, but said nothing. “I should go—” “Luna, don’t you dare.” Celestia’s voice was as cold as a winter’s dawn. “I put my own relationship and happiness on the line for you. If you walk away right now, I will be gravely insulted.” “What can I say, Sister?” Luna shrank away from Celestia like a shadow retreating from the advancing sun. “Everything you said would happen has happened. You were right. Again. I was foolish and unreasonable. Again. And after everything fell apart, you tried to take the consequences for me. Again. I am unfit to rule, I am an unfit sister, and I am an unfit wife. Again. I shall be in my airie, contemplating my many failures.” Covering her face with her wing, Luna turned to go. “Yous! Get your sorry, lying, cowardly ass back here, I’m not done witchu! I’m not letting you go off and wallow in your stupid self-pity, you whiny, deceitful, treacherous little crybaby!” Gosling stomped his hoof and did not see the wide-eyed stare that Celestia was giving him. “You walk out that door and we’s gonna throw down, Luna. I don’t care if yous kick my ass, I’ll make yous do it. Somehow, one way or another, yous is gonna eat the consequences from this.” Freezing on the spot, Luna stood, unmoving, hardly breathing, and the loudest sound in the room was of Gosling’s panting. Celestia, now more or less herself, her eyes a rosy shade of dawn once more, crossed the room to where her sister stood, reached out with her wing, and patted her on the neck. “Come into the light, Luna.” Celestia’s voice was little more than a whisper. “You just made our beloved husband threaten to kick a filly’s—” “I am not a filly!” Luna blurted out and she slapped her sister’s wing away with her own. “But I cannot deny that I do so rightfully deserve a good and proper beating. Sister… truly, I did believe I would’ve been able to maintain the illusion until things fixed themselves and everything sorted itself out.” “Right now, Luna, you’re still clinging to the lie and Gosling has no way of knowing who—or what you are. He has lived with your deceit… and both of us have failed him. Me most of all, because I allowed this to happen for your sake.” Casting her gaze downward, Luna deflated and appeared defeated. “Maybe I am a filly, but I am not a little filly, Gosling. I assure you, I’m of age—” “By which standards?” Gosling demanded. “Which age? Which era?” Eyes flashing with anger, Luna bared her teeth, then replied, “I’ve born foals in a body younger than this one! Look, I don’t know how old I am, not exactly, but I am not so different from you! Right now, I am going through the most difficult puberty I’ve ever gone through in my long, troubling existence, and these constant illusion spells are ripping my mind apart! I didn’t have a choice! I had to be the princess that ponies needed! It feels like everything is tearing me—” “I feel like I don’t even know you,” Gosling said, cutting Luna off. “You know me best when I’m your playmate, you ignorant boob! That night when I scared you in the hallway and snapped your picture! All those times we played and had fun together! Watching movies! Playing arcade games! Chariot races! That was me being me in the only way that I possibly could while still doing what was expected of me! I’m about the same age as you are, you bookshelf smashing featherbrain!” “I swear, if I married some underage filly—” “Gosling, I allowed for this ruse to happen, and for that, I am deeply sorry, but I would not allow you to compromise your values in such a way.” Celestia cleared her throat, reached out, and patted her sister once more. “Chronologically, Luna is about your age. Maybe just a little younger. I fretted about this for a long time, and so did Cadance. And the whole thing with Cadance is my fault—” “Your fault?” Eyes narrowing, ears pricking, Gosling gave the white alicorn a nod. “The secret had to be protected. Cadance… she’s been in on the plan since the beginning and is one of the few ponies that know. Without Cadance’s knowledge, I placed a geas on her, binding her to protect the secret at all costs. I… I… I did it after the changeling invasion of Canterlot. It was an act of desperation, I’ll confess. If the rest of the world found out that Luna is still little and underpowered, it would go bad for us. If our enemies found out, if they sensed weakness, they might move to strike.” “You bitch!” Gosling spat out the words in contempt. “You owe Cadance the truth and an apology!” Bowing her head, Celestia let out a sorrowful whinny, and then replied, “I do.” Standing amidst the now-ruined library, Gosling realised that both of his wives were strangers to him. Betrayed, angry, furious, he thought about leaving. No, more than leaving, he thought about leaving. A more permanent goodbye. Whilst he thought about it, he thought about his mother, and his thoughts of her were like a great weight upon his spine. It would break her heart if he were to quit now, if he were to walk away. As bad as this was, as awful as it was, it wasn’t adultery, the only justified reason that Gosling held for divorce. The pegasus ponies of the First Tribes mated for life, and it was a sacred bond. He shared his mother’s pain and shame for her having never married. With a heavy heart and great sadness, he considered the foals in Celestia’s belly. No, walking away was not an option. He was the Confessor of the Pegasus Pony tribe. Walking away meant never saying why he walked away, because he would keep this secret. It would mean deep and abiding shame, and casting an awful shadow upon the Sisters. The First Tribes would whisper, and conspire, and speak in hushed whispers to one another about adultery—why else would he leave otherwise? With a defeated sigh, Gosling’s rage left him, leaving him with only the dull ache of profound emptiness. Luna kept trying to slap her sister’s wing away, but Celestia was persistent and kept trying to comfort her sibling. Trying to muster some emotion to fill the empty void within him, he kicked a suit of armor out of his way and then stared down at a nearby spear. “You’re thinking about leaving—” “Reading my mind, Sunshine?” Gosling didn’t bother to raise his head to look at her. “No.” Celestia’s voice was flat, unfeeling, and cold. “Just saying aloud the one thing that I am most terrified of. I don’t want to go back to how I was. Loneliness was like a cancer in my bones. Gosling, I am so sorry… I wanted so much to tell you—” “No, I get it, I do.” More bile crept up Gosling’s throat and made his voice scratchy. “I’m temporary. You and Luna have each other forever. So because I’m just a pretty butterfly of spring that’ll be dead by fall, you kept your loyalty to Luna. I get that. I understand. I do.” “Gosling, that is very unfair of you to say—” “Doesn’t make it any less true though, does it? I mean, we’re being honest now, right? At least I’m trying to be. I have no idea about the two of you.” When Gosling looked at the two sisters now, he felt like an outsider. “One day, I’ll be gone, and you two will still have each other. You two have to live together, and you’ve already hurt each other a lot. Luna betrayed you, I’m guessing that you’ve betrayed Luna in some form or another, and now, you two are committed to one another. You must be. You have to be. I have proof.” “I wanted to tell you—” “And even though you knew it wasn't the right thing, you still took your sister’s side. Even worse, when confronted about it, you tried to trick me into blaming you, so Luna would be blameless.” Turning around, away from the two sisters, he looked at a painting on the wall of two beautiful alicorn princesses chasing each other around a stylised, overlapping moon and sun. Nausea overcame him and he felt rather sick. The yogurt and the oats had turned on him, and were now a major liability. “I can’t let this happen!” The panic in Luna’s voice caused it to crack. “I’m losing my best friend… my playmate. My roostmate—” Upon hearing her evoke this sacred bond between pegasi, Gosling winced with pain and almost vomited. “—that I trust so much. I was once the Element of Loyalty. Look what I have become now. Please, Gosling, let me fix this somehow. Please? I deserve your anger, not my sister. She was covering for me, just as she has always covered for me, and I manipulated her emotions to get what I wanted. I was selfish!” Closing his eyes, Gosling refused to look at Luna as she approached, and the sound of her hooves striking the floor caused his muscles to bunch up in painful ways. Resentment came rushing in, a torrent, a flood that filled the empty spaces within—but no anger. His rage had flown from him like a bird in autumn fleeing the cruel chill of winter. “Gosling, I beg of you, turn around now and see me for who and what I truly am. I throw myself upon your mercy and vow to never keep another secret from you, but please, spare my sister. It is time I took the blame for my actions. Please, turn around and look at me.” Undecided on his course of action, Gosling pondered what to do next, because whatever came next would involve committing to it, and he was hesitant to commit to anything right now. His trust had been wounded, and while he wanted some time to go off and lick his wounds, he thought about what Luna had said. Roostmate. That was more than a lover, or a friend, it went beyond those things. Was she lying? Playing with his emotions? Surely she understood that such a word would yank his chain. It was the most sacred of pegasus bonds and was never said lightly. But how she had lied… She had lied to her roostmate. This made everything hurt all the worse. Swallowing the phlegmy lump of bile in his throat, Gosling had no gods left to turn to, to pray to, to make supplications to. His gods—both of them—the gods of the First Tribes, had betrayed him. Did they even realise what they had done? Everything that made him the pony that he was, all of his faith, his devotion, all of his goodness, it all felt smashed to ruin right now. “Confessor… I beg your forgiveness, for I have committed great wrong!” Something cold lanced through Gosling’s heart, a pain like nothing else, and it robbed him of his ability to respond. Facing the wall, Gosling was forced to make the most important decision of his life, and everything hinged upon this moment. In silence, aware of Luna’s torment, Gosling searched his heart…