The balcony door of the castle’s master bedroom swung open, and a Pegasus pony in a tight black sneaking suit entered. Hanging from her mouth was a box, which she was careful not to jostle. She lifted it onto the dresser, putting it center stage under the mirror as she pulled the string keeping it shut. The box unraveled to reveal a potted blue plant. The Pegasus backed off as quickly as she could as the leaves splayed out over the sides of its container, letting out a mischievous snicker as she turned around and left the room, closing the door behind her and flying off.
Later into the night, the bedroom door swung open, Twilight and Boltsinger yawning. Twilight headed straight for the bed, climbing in and throwing some of the blanket over herself while Boltsinger looked around the room.
“Oh, hey, there’s something new in here…” Boltsinger said groggily, walking over to the dresser. “Hey, Twilight, you ever see this plant before?” From the bed, all he heard was the soft snoring of a tuckered Twilight. He poked at the plant a few times, moving the leaves around and smelling it to the best of his ability. Once he had given it a thorough investigation, he shrugged with a yawn, taking his spot on the bed and giving way to the happy embrace of sleep.
Twilight slowly opened her eyes, a strange and unpleasant smell finding its way into her nostrils. She sat up, looking around for the source of the aroma. Under the blanket, she heard the sound of strained, wheezing breaths. She lit her horn, lifting the edge of the blanket to reveal the stallion she slept next to, sleeping in a definitively un-peaceful way, blue spots covering his neck. She put her head against his chest, feeling it rise and fall, but hearing the wheezing far more clearly. She pulled back and looked at his face. His mouth was wide open, and the wheezing noises came just as much from his mouth as from his chest. She leaned close to his muzzle, where a smell that almost turned the air green crept out, nearly singeing her nose hairs. A shout of disgust erupted out of her mouth as she reared back, covering her nose.
“Oh my gosh!” she cried, jumping off of the bed as his eyes opened. “What in Celestia’s name happened to you?!”
Boltsinger sat up, letting out a nearly inaudible groan and looking at the Princess. He mouthed some words in response, but no sound came out. His eyes widened as he brought his hooves up to his muzzle, looking absolutely terrified. He immediately regretted his action, however, as it brought the stench eking out of his mouth straight into his nose. His eyes contorted madly as the smell overwhelmed him, causing him to fall backwards out of the bed and hit his head on the floor. He moved his hooves away from his mouth, mouthing more words with only the sound of a slightly articulate wheeze coming out.
Twilight rushed to his side, examining his neck more thoroughly. “Wait a minute…” she began, noting the blue spots on his neck. “That looks familiar… But where could you have come into contact with…” She looked around the room, making note of everything. Couch, chairs, coffee table, bookshelf, dresser, mirror, Poison Joke plant… Poison Joke plant?! She helped her husband to his hooves, and the two of them walked over to the dresser. “So this is the culprit!” Boltsinger tilted his head, opening his mouth to try and ask what she meant, only to come up with a rancid wheeze. The Princess floated over a clothespin, clamping her nostrils shut. “It’s a plant called Poison Joke. Do you remember that time we helped Daring Do on one of her adventures?” The stallion nodded. “You know how I was a little out of it when we landed, and I said something about my horn going floppy?” Boltsinger shook his head. “Right… you were ‘working’ at the time. Jumbly memories.” She was met with another nod. “Well, Poison Joke is a little bit like poison oak, only the results are supposed to be funny instead of harmful.” She floated the plant closer, doing her best not to touch it. “But how could some of it have possibly gotten here? It only grows in the Everfree Forest!”
Boltsinger put his hooves up on the dresser, sniffing around like a hound on the hunt. His head recoiled as his eyes squinted, turning his body to rigidly point at a blue feather that lay on the top of the dresser.
Twilight lifted the feather with her magic, narrowing her eyes. “Rainbow Dash!” She stashed the feather away, moving the plant to another part of the room and encasing it in a force field. “Don’t worry. I know where we can get the antidote. Come with me.” She put her hoof around Boltsinger, leading him along. “Zecora gave us the recipe for the remedy a long time ago, so this isn’t really a problem.” Boltsinger nodded, following along with heavy breaths. As they went out into the hallway, the Princess went into a canter, prompting the stallion to follow suit. He went on for a moment, quickly feeling winded and slowing down. He let out a loud wheeze, holding his foreleg forward and panting in place. He hung his head, looking at the floor as he kept panting, his breath rising up and entering his nostrils again. He reared back, flailing his forelegs in the air in front of him as he fell back on his rump with a soft and nearly inaudible neigh. The Princess looked back through the hallway, seeing the Pegasus in a silly little position on the floor. She giggled slightly, receiving a pouting glare from him as she walked up to him. “I’m sorry. I told you the effects are meant to be funny! I just couldn’t help it.” Boltsinger scoffed silently, crossing his forelegs. Twilight rolled her eyes, lifting him with her magic. “Come on, Pouty-pants, let’s get going.”
Downstairs, Spike exited the dining room, looking around for any of the other castle residents. It was Boltsinger’s turn to make breakfast today, and he was remarkably late. He heard the clopping of hooves coming down the hallway, bringing his curiosity to the forefront. He headed for the source of the sound, finally coming upon Twilight, who was surpressing a snicker as she held Boltsinger in the air behind her with her magic. Boltsinger had a myriad of blue polka dots covering his neck. He ran over to the stallion, looking up at him with a claw to his chin. “So, what happened to Boltsinger?” The stallion looked in the dragon’s direction, opening his mouth to let out the same kind of wheezing he’d been loosing all day. The odor came forth once more, sending Spike stumbling backwards, plugging his nose. “Oh, wow, what was that? Forget Boltsinger... It’s more like Boltstinker!” The smelly stallion grumbled silently as the Alicorn lost the composure that stopped her from cracking up, her concentration failing her as Boltsinger fell to the floor.
Boltsinger groaned again, climbing to his hooves, walking to the front door with his head slumped over. Twilight sighed, mildly cursing herself for her lack of sensitivity as she galloped over to him. She put a wing on his back, opening her mouth to speak as he turned his head. His glare was both fierce and sad, letting her know that he didn’t exactly find his situation so funny. “You’re right, Bolt. It was wrong of me to laugh. It’s hard to hold it in, sometimes, especially when it’s with somepony I’m so comfortable with. I promise I won’t laugh at it anymore.” she looked back at Spike, who was still on the floor busting a gut. “And neither will Spike, right?”
Spike’s laughter ceased, the dragon standing up with a salute. “Right!” He hunched over a little, putting a claw in front of his face to hide one last snicker. Twilight’s gaze intensified, sending a jolt down the dragon’s spine. “I’ll go get that ingredient list for you…”
Twilight nodded approvingly. “Thank you, Spike.” Spike ran in the direction of the library. “Let’s go get that cure, then.”
Twilight and Boltsinger walked into the main thoroughfare of Ponyville, Spike sitting on the mare’s back with a quill and parchment in his claws. They checked various shops, trying to find the ingredients they needed. The general vendors had run out just before their arrival, leading them to Rich’s Barnyard bargains, which was similarly out of stock. From there they made their way to the pharmacy. Once again, nothing for the treatment they needed. Twilight let out a dejected sigh as her husband attempted to do the same, causing the pharmacist to nearly pass out. Finally, they found themselves at the scariest building in town, according to the afflicted.
The Ponyville Day Spa.
Boltsinger cringed at the sight of the establishment, painful memories coming back to haunt him. He whimpered to himself as the door opened and Twilight walked up to the counter.
“Hello. Do you have the Poison Joke antidote bath service available?” she asked. “My husband came into contact with it recently and needs treatment as soon as possible.”
The spa pony shrugged and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Princess, but all of the ingredients for that bath have been used up. Somepony came in and requested a long and luxurious bath, so we’ve temporarily run out of stock.”
Twilight furrowed her brow. “Can you tell me who ordered this bath?”
“We were paid extra to allow her to register treatment under an alias.” The mare continued, bringing forth a clipboard. “She asked us not to disclose her identity, but the name she used to register is right here.”
Twilight examined the clipboard, seeing many familiar names, Rarity chief among them. All of the names on the page belonged to ponies she knew that used the spa regularly, except one. It was familiar, but for an entirely different reason. “Zapp? Why in Equestria would one of the Power Ponies come to a spa in Ponyville?” She pushed the parchment back to the proprietary pony. “Thank you. We’ll be going now.” She gave a farewell nod to the pony behind the counter, turning to rejoin the boys by the door. “Somepony has been making sure we can’t get what we need for that treatment… And I think I know who…”
Spike tapped the quill against his chin as the trio exited the building. “Well, why don’t we just go and ask Zecora? Doesn’t she have what we need?”
“I would, if she was in town!” Twilight responded, drooping her ears. “But she’s with Fluttershy at a seminar on herbal remedies all the way in Trottingham, and they won’t be back until next week!”
Boltsinger gave a sorrowful nod, having heard about it from Fluttershy not long ago. He lowered his head, letting his wings fall limp to drag on the ground. Nopony else could tell, but this whole situation was getting to him in a lot of ways at once. First, there was his inability to talk. He may not talk as much as Pinkie Pie, but without the ability to speak, it felt like a part of his identity had been taken away. The smell wasn’t exactly a gift, either. But then there was the fact that Rainbow Dash was the one that left the plant in their room in the first place. She had pranked him on several occasions, but never with something that had this bad of an effect on him. It felt more hurtful than fun, which is something a pony like him could easily see the line between. He looked up at the sky, seeing a cloud bouncing around in the distance. Opening his mouth to try and say something, he remembered what happened every time his breath came out to play. He shut his yapper and snorted, making to flap his wings. Without much effort, he was in the air, opting to investigate the cloud. Several seconds into the flight, though, he discovered just how winded he was, as his ascent had made a sudden reversal. He fell back to the ground, plopping down ahead of his purple companions with his legs, wings, and tail sprawled out.
Twilight and Spike ran over to the fallen flyer. “Are you okay?” The Princess inquired, helping him up and dusting him off with her tail. He nodded and directed his gaze at the bouncy cloud in the distance. He turned his ears to better focus on the sound, flapping his wings while staying in place. A breeze began to flow through the area, amplifying the chatter of nearby ponies. The overall noise died down before long as the breeze reached the cloud, where the all-too-recognizable laughter of a cyan Wonderbolt echoed back at them. Twilight’s face turned serious as she started to flap her wings, only to have her husband place a hoof on the wing closest to him. He shook his head, then nudged It in the direction of his now twiddling wing, where an air pocket was beginning to form. The Princess smiled at the idea he had inaudibly communicated and leaned into the air pocket, speaking a message into it.
Rainbow Dash had been having a heck of a day. Last night, she played one of her best pranks ever, and now she was bearing witness to the fruits of her labor. Not only had she gotten Boltsinger to fall victim to Poison Joke, but she made certain that he was gonna spend the next week dealing with the result! She lay on a cloud overlooking Ponyville, where she could see all of the activities of her victim and how hilarious things got whenever he opened his mouth. Twilight and Spike were with him, of course, and their frantic searching through town for all the things they needed just made the situation all the more hilarious! She went on in her enjoyment for quite a while, until…
“RAINBOW DASH! GET DOWN HERE!!!” Twilight’s voice boomed out of nowhere with a force that defied her typical volume modification spell. The cloud she was laying on was blown away completely, letting her know exactly what method was used to deliver that message. She hovered in the air, looking down at the street where Twilight, Boltsinger, and Spike stood. She swooped down next to them, noting the not-so-amused looks on the ponies’ faces.
“Hey, you two, what’s up?” she greeted, feigning ignorance.
“I dunno, ‘Zapp’, you tell us!” Twilight retorted, making the Pegasus wince at the alias. “Somehow it seems Bolt came into contact with some Poison Joke, and all of the ingredients for the cure have mysteriously sold out everywhere! Even the spa can’t draw a bath for him! Can you explain all of it?”
Rainbow Dash took a look at Boltsinger, making note of the blue spots on his neck. “Okay, yeah… I put the plant there.” She admitted. “So, I’ve been watching you two, and it’s been hilarious! But I gotta know… What did it do to him?”
Twilight looked over at Boltsinger. “Why don’t you tell her, honey?” Boltsinger gave a confused look, wondering what she meant for a moment. As the idea hit him, a diabolical smile found its way onto his muzzle, nodding with a determined wheeze. Twilight lifted him up into the air, bringing him next to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow poked at the stallion’s wings, looking between him and the pony holding him up. “What’s with this? Why aren’t you flying?”
“Tell her, Bolt!” Twilight instructed, moving him to better face her target. Boltsinger happily obliged, taking a deep breath and opening his mouth, letting out a heavy wheeze that pelted the Pegasus with the most pungent ‘parfum’ to assault her olfactory sense. Her wings snapped to her sides, sending her plummeting to the ground below with a loud crash, covering her nose. Twilight stood over the pranking Pegasus, bringing her companion to her side. “That’s what happened. Now tell me, why did you pull such a harsh prank? You’ve never used Poison Joke on anypony before!”
Rainbow Dash sat up, covering her nose and turning away. “I felt like he deserved it.” Boltsinger recoiled, stepping back and sitting down.
“Deserved it?” Twilight repeated. “How does he deserve it? He hasn’t done anything!” She looked intently at Rainbow Dash, seeing a distinct pout. “Is this… Are you still upset about the changes that are coming? That’s no excuse to lash out like this!”
Rainbow snorted, rising to her hooves and glaring at the stallion. “But he’s the whole reason this thing is happening! If I’d have known this was gonna happen so quickly, I would never have gone along with it all!”
Twilight gritted her teeth, lighting up her horn. “That’s. Not. Fair.” She fumed, rearing her head back as a massive pile of Poison Joke leaves appeared in the air above the Pegasus mare, simultaneously holding her in place. Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight with terror in her eyes, knowing just what would happen should she come into contact with the plant above her. “You need to sort things out, I get it, but taking out your frustrations on a pony who never did anything against you is taking it too far!” The plants were inched closer to the Pegasus, making her wince along with the impact of the words. “Now, tell me. Do you have the ingredients for the antidote bath?”
“I have them, yes! They’re up in my house!” Rainbow admitted, covering her head with her forelegs as she cringed in place. “I’ll go get ‘em! Just don’t drop those things on me!”
Twilight released Rainbow from her grip, moving the plants to make an opening for her. “That’s better. And we’re not done talking about this, you hear me?”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it!” Rainbow replied, completely dismissing the idea of further conversation. She flew off through the opening Twilight had made, the turbulence of her takeoff sending some of the leaves flying.
Back at the spa, the employees happily poured a number of magical and medicinal herbs into the central bath. Boltsinger stood on the platform above the water, looking questioningly at it. His previous experiences in this building had all been less than pleasant, but this couldn’t possibly be so bad, right? Besides, it was either this, or a lot more stinky wheezes and not being able to do much. He gave a relenting, wheezing sigh and stepped in.
And for once, his hope that it wasn’t going to be bad was spot-on. The smells of the herbs surrounded him as he let himself go deeper into the pool of pure warm. The bathtubs at the castle were great, but never so all-encompassing as this one. Noticing the fact that his neck was still covered in blue spots, he slapped his muzzle with his wings, taking as deep a breath as he could and plunging his head under so as to completely submerge. The effects of the bath were instantaneous, and he could feel his airways clearing up. Much to the surprise of the other ponies in the establishment, he brought his head out of the water with a much deeper breath.
“FINALLY!!!” He bellowed, causing the entire building to rumble. He looked around at the surprised ponies around him, sheepishly scratching his mane with his wings. “Oh… Sorry…”
Twilight let out a loud laugh as she put her hooves up on the edge of the bath. “It’s good to ‘hear’ from you, again!” She turned her head, looking back at the slowly-approaching Rainbow Dash. “Somepony else wanted to say something, too.”
“Hey, Bolt…” the Wonderbolt greeted with a soft wave. “I’m sorry for pulling what I did. You really didn’t deserve it. I’ve just been dealing with a lot, lately.”
“I heard about that.” Boltsinger stated, sitting back. “And I can’t help but wonder why it’s bugging you so much. I mean, Twilight told me about your day at the compound, but it still confuses the hay outta me.”
“If you know all about it, why does it confuse you?” Rainbow wondered, leaning against the bath next to the Alicorn.
Boltsinger held up a wing, raising up a single feather. “First, do you know just how long it’s going to be before the baby arrives? Twilight’s not exactly completely debilitated! She’s just gotta take things a little slower!” He unfurled a second feather. “And the next thing! Yes, having a foal is a big responsibility, but did you ever even consider that it’s not going to change the kind of duties you all as bearers of the Elements of Harmony have? And did you ever think about the fact that she’s not the only parent in this equation?” Through his questioning, he had lunged his head closer, mere inches from her face. “I’m here, too. None of us are in this alone.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes were wide, her ears low and her mouth ajar as she leaned back. She took several steps back, planting her hooves and flaring her wings. “I understand all of that!” She retorted. “But have you considered just how dangerous those duties can get? How many times all of us have nearly been done in? Do you really think that I can honestly let my friend, Twilight, face danger like that when she has so much to lose?!” Twilight and Boltsinger’s jaws simultaneously dropped. “I hate the fact that things have to change, and I hate that it means I don’t get to adventure with Twilight anymore! But even more than that, I hate the idea of losing her after she’s gained so much! And that’s not confusing in the least!” She put her wings back at her sides, turning around and making for the exit. “You know what? I take it back, I’m not sorry! You really did deserve it!” With that, she galloped out, taking off as she cleared the door. Seconds later, the telltale boom of a Sonic Rainboom sounded in the distance.
Twilight and Boltsinger looked at one another with a mutual sigh. “Well, at least we got more of an explanation out of her?” he suggested with a weak smile. Twilight softly nodded, more than a little disheartened. “Hey, why don’t you climb in, too? The water is excellent, and you look like you could stand to relax a little.”
Twilight looked back up at him. He was offering a hoof and smiling, his messy mane splattered about all over his neck and in front of his eyes. He somehow looked even funnier than he did with the polka dots all over him, and she couldn’t stop herself from giving up the guffaw. After some giggles, she stopped herself, covering her mouth. “I’m sorry… I know I said I wasn’t going to laugh at you, but…”
“Hey, if it’s funny, it’s funny!” He affirmed as she fluttered her way into the water. “Sometimes you just can’t help yourself.” He pulled her close, nuzzling her a little. “But tonight, you’re telling me everything you know about that plant. I can only imagine what your first run-in with it was like!” Twilight nodded, beginning to tell him some of the details, all of which resulted in loud, booming laughter.