Not Another Word
Another day another adventure in the market square of the little hamlet called Ponyville as Twilight Sparkle the Princess of Friendship was out and about on this fine spring morning, actually more like noon but not quite lunch time but way after brunch.
She was relaxed and meandering, looking for more provisions for the crystal castles kitchens pantry. You know the pantry that was stocked full last week just before typhoon Pinkie ravaged it like Angel Bunny on a binder. Bags of all sizes were floating along behind her gripped softly in her magical field, tomatoes, beets, grapes, oranges, lettuce bunches, tuna... you got the idea food, grub oats hay and ice cream and lots of it.
Her trek took her to that famous apple farmer Equestrian hero the bucker of bad guys and rodeos, but not one to boast herself Applejack, who was eyeing those nasty oranges that Twilight had paid a load of hard working bits for, Not that oranges were evil or anything but you know it's Applejacks pet peeve to have her prize winning tasty apples be second fiddle to a lumpy pealing seed spitting sour sunny fruit thingy that does better juicing then munching any day of the week and twice on Sunday!
"Why howdy there Twilight what can I do ya for today?" Miss Applejack AKA Apple Jewel greeted the purple nerd as she unrolled her extensive shopping list.
"Hi, Applejack I need a whole complement of what you have, I've got to resupply after Pinkie's last get together and maybe throw in some extra pork loin, pork shanks. bacon, hams and beef stakes, briskets and fifty bags of hamburger." What do you expect for a growing dragon living with ponies a vegan gem fest?
As the supplies were bagged and loaded into Big Macs cart for the trip to the magic crystal castle of Grey Skull....Of FRIENDSHIP! Friendship. A buzzing sound came out of flanking nowhere, A sound like the signal you get when the party on the other end just doesn't want to talk to you even with caller ID activated?
The two Equestrian heros looked to their butts for the answer to that question, Who was on their other end of their ends? The Map! That bothersome map.
"Big Mac quit making goo goo eyes at Sugar Belle and watch Twilights stuff, better yet finish loading everything and deliver it later, We got to go it's an emergency!" AJ continued "Big Mac you listening to me? We're going!" His answer was a simple sigh as they saw Angel Bunny sitting on top of Twilights pile of loot eyeing the vegies with a sharks deadly scowl. The two galloped down or was it up the cobble stone path to the other side of the town meeting Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie on the way. They saw that she had a bounce to her hops and a spring to her mane so they figured it was safe that she was trotting along with scissors and not her usual cannon, bazooka or other weapons of mass destruction. "Hi ya Twi Twi what's getting messed up today, Is Equestria being threatened again by a meanie bad guy like Dr. Evil with Mini Me and sharks with friggin laser beams on their heads?" Miss Pie continued "like he'll blow everything for a million bits?" Twilight rebuffed her "Pinkie, It's blow up Equestria not blow Equestria"...
" Awe but it's more fun my way" Pinkie beamed as Fluttershy was seen pawing at the castles massive doors on the threes approach to that final destination.
The castle was quiet inside other then the clopping of hooves and all the cutie marks flashing on 'hold'. They came close to the map it's surface was cold and bare, nothing but a waft of green smoke hung in the air that alerted the group of a pending possible ambush, crouching and carefully coming closer on their tippy hooves ,slowly they moved step by step hoof by hoof they stalked the... "I see you there! Rarity what are you doing hiding behind the map?" Rainbow 'I'm sneakier after guzzling cider after an awesome day with the Wonderbolts"' Dash yelled as she hovered above everypony.
A fashionable purple mane with a few stray locks of hair slowly rose above the edge of the table map thingy followed by a set of blue eyes with a smears of eye shadow on her fur of white and only one false eyelash, she gracefully looked at the others clearing her throat as a lady would as wisps of green smoke spiraled out of her nostrils "Hello darlings I was just trying on my new frock, what brings you all here?"
AJ was first to bring up the obvious "Are you alright there sugar cube? You look like you just finished the Running of the Leaves".
"Darling Applejack of course I'm quite alright I assure you, My new dress was just a little difficult to get into that's all" She bolted straight upright and let out a little gasping whinny as she adjusted the fabric. Sweat and moist cloth started to show as the fashion mare began to sluggishly step away.
"What's with the extra tail?" Pinkie giggled pointing to Raritys bustle as the others started to look the tail zipped out of sight.
"Nothing darling you must of seen the slip". Rarity turned for the nearest exit only to be blocked by Twilight "Are you sure you're okay? The map called us here is your cutie mark flashing too?"
Spikes muffled voice could be heard "Nope it not flashing here!" A swift knee stopped the hidden conversation as Rarity spoke up "Oh look Spike must be waking up! I'll just go up stares and fetch him".
Rarity stumbled and weaved towards the stare case arguing and pulling with her reluctant frock as the tapping of claws rang out on the crystal floors.
Fluttershy stopped the fashion mare looking at her hooves "Rarity if you don't mind if I check your hooves it sounds like you might have a loose shoe, If it's okay, I'd hate to see you get hurt".
The unicorn froze and slowly lifted the hem of the dress and held back a giggle as an obvious movement wrapped around her barrel under the fabric. Flutterbutter inspected the hooves in question, finding nothing she glanced up and "eep". A bright blush crossed her muzzle as her wings popped up in a massive wing boner "PoompH!" ... With the attention of the group now centered on the yellow one The Lady Rarity made for a hasty retreat for the castles mess hall her steps were cut short as a loud belch brought everyponies attention to the light show under Raritys belly. The silhouette of a dragon hanging upside down beating furiously at a ladys under garments trying to quell the flames of a scroll delivery. Raritys screaming bucking spinning and pealing off the fiery wrapping was quite the show as Spike sat on the ashes his snoot covered in smeared red lipstick.
All the ponies stared at the sight holding back the flood gates of laughter as Rarity gathered every shred of modesty next to that stupid map table magic thingy. A crack of thunder and a cackling guffaw filled the castle from the Lord of Chaos "That map made it so easy, You should see your faces!"
A seething Rarity looked at all those friends of hers and her dragon "Not another word!"