It was another clear day at the Cell Games arena, with the eponymous host standing in the centre of the ring, as usual, in a complete silence.
“Okay, seriously, how long have I been standing out here!” Cell suddenly yelled out. “I gave them a week and yet it feels like months! Especially with all the distractions I’ve been getting!” After he was finished ranting, he took in a deep breath to calm himself down. “Then again, maybe it just feels like months because of all the distractions.”
All of a sudden, he felt a new presence approach the stage, so he turned towards it. “Speaking of distractions, who do we have today?”
Standing at the edge of the arena, stopping a few feet in front of him were three young women, which like his previous guests, all had different colour skin: an orange-skinned girl, with big, poufy, orange hair with yellow highlights, who, from how she held herself, was the leader of the three of them, a blue-skinned girl, with light and dark blue hair tied back in a ponytail, and an expression on her face which kind of reminded him of Goku, and a purple-skinned girl, with purple hair held up in two pigtails, who, if he had to describe her in some way, would be just… there.
“Boy, I sure am popular with young ladies, aren’t I?” Cell spoke up, with a coy smile on his face. “Am I currently the hottest trending topic on Pinterest? I actually looked that up!” He suddenly yelled. “That’s how bored I am out here!” He then sighed and whispered under his breath, “I knew I should have bought a Nintendo Switch.”
The orange haired girl then stepped out ahead of the other two in order to address Cell. “Cell, allow me to introduce myself: I am Adagio Dazzle, the leader of the Dazzlings.”
“The Dazzlings?" Cell wondered aloud. "What are you, a pop band?”
“Actually, yes, we are,” the blue girl stated matter-of-factly, with an innocent smile on her face.
Cell just blinked. “…Well shit.” He said with a smile.
“And I believe,” Adagio continued, “that we both stand to gain if we work together.”
“Wait, so you actually came here to join me instead fight me?” He then started smiling in amazement. “Wow; you three may actually the smartest people to come here yet.”
Hearing that comment, the blue girl’s eyes started glistening. “You really think I’m smart?” She asked.
“Well, uh…” Cell began awkwardly, caught off guard by her tone. “Yes.”
“Yes,” the girl said, pumping her fist. “I can finally check that off my list of life goals.” She then took a small piece of paper out of her pocket and crossed something off.
Seeing this, Cell couldn’t help but smile. “Ha, that’s funny; you’re funny. You kind of remind me of Goku. You know what? I’m gonna call you, ‘Fem-Goku’.”
‘Fem-Goku’ just looked up, blinked absent-mindedly, and then smiled. “…Cool.”
“Hahaha, classic Fem-Goku.” Cell laughed. “But then again,” he continued, now serious. “I’m a perfect being, am currently the strongest being in this universe, with the ability to destroy a planet with just a fraction of my power. What would I possibly stand to gain by teaming up with all of you?”
“Oh, Cell,” Adagio began, in an alluring tone of voice. “There’s always something to be gained,” she continued, placing her hand on her hips suggestively.
“Ms Adagio, are you trying to seduce me? Because in case you can’t tell from over there, I don’t have penis.”
The abruptness of that comment seemed to catch Adagio off guard, and her cool demeanour slipped.
“Well, their goes about 90% of your people skills, Adagio,” the purple girl deadpanned, while casually looking at her nails.
“Shut it, Aria,” Adagio sneered, making a ‘cut it out’ gesture with her hand.
Letting out a sigh, she then turned back to face Cell once again. “Look, Mr. Perfect Cell…”
“Oh, I never get tired of hearing that.”
“…I pride myself on being a successful villain, and that includes being aware of how the heroes think and how villains are normally defeated, so that I can take the necessary steps to avoid that myself; and while I may have failed recently and lost everything that I’ve built up for the last thousand years…” She added quickly under her breath.
“You know, if you point out that you failed before, you’re not exactly helping your chances at convincing me.”
“My point…” Adagio continued, touching her hand to her forehead in frustration. “…is that I know how these things between heroes and villains usually go, and how your situation will inevitably go when your specific set of heroes-that-I-know-you-have show up to battle you. It hasn’t happened yet, but I know for a fact that if you play this out how you’ve planned, then you will fail; but with my help, you can avoid that fate?
“So then, you simply have to ask yourself: are you willing to take that risk?”
“Can you breathe in space?” Cell suddenly asked her.
Adagio blinked in confusion. “What?”
“I said, can you breathe in space?” He repeated.
“Uhhmm, no…”
“Well, I can, and that’s how I’m going to survive once I blow up the planet. So if you can’t, then I’m gonna have to find a way around that, meaning you’re asking a lot from me, for less from you, which really doesn’t incline me to agree with your proposal.”
When Adagio didn’t have a response to him immediately, noticing that things weren’t going well for them, ‘Fem-Goku’ leaned in close to her. “So, is this the part where we admit that we’re just trying to save ourselves when he kills everyone?”
“Not now, Sonata,” Adagio uttered through clenched teeth.
“Hey, at least she’s upfront about it,” Cell joined in. “You get another point ‘Fem-Goku’. I now have two people that I’m gonna miss when I kill everyone.”
Hearing him say that, Adagio looked back at Cell, with a less-than-hopeful look on her face. “So… is that a ‘no’?”
“That’s a ‘no’.” Cell answered.
Adagio then slumped further.
When Cell noticed this, he decided to ease up a bit. “Alright then, I’ll tell you what: if by some miracle that I do end failing, then when we all meet up together in Hell, I owe you a coke?”
Instead of responding, Adagio just grumbled angrily and then simply turned and walked away, with Aria following behind her.
As her fellow band members – and possible sisters – were walking away, before following after them, Sonata faced Cell and asked, “Could I get a root beer instead?”
“Hahaha,” Cell laughed good-naturedly. “Of course.” He said with a smile.
Sonata beamed brightly, and then followed after her fellow band members, waving bye to Cell as she did so.
As the three Dazzlings began walking away again, Aria flipped her hair indignantly. “Well, looks like your plan failed once again, Adagio. I can’t really say I’m surprised, though.” She said in a dry, sarcastic tone.
Adagio simply let out a sigh of exasperation. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.
“You kind of just did,” Sonata pointed out.
“Ha,” Cell laughed as they walked away. “Ah, this has been a fun day.”
After a moment, once the three girls were gone, his face suddenly drooped again. “And now back to the boredom.”