Princess Luna stirred awake, her eyes slowly blinking open. She winced inwardly when she realized just how much crust had become stuck to her eyelids, probably because of her nightmare, alongside the increased weight it now seemed to have after her experience with Rainbow Dash and the Tantabus.
“Look, like I said, I’m no therapist. But when we’re done here, just… talk to mom, okay? Let her know how you feel. And get rid of the Tantabus, would ya? Like, destroy it. It won’t do you or anypony else any good.”
She bit her lip as she recalled the words of her niece. She hadn’t destroyed the Tantabus when she had emerged from the dream realm, nor had she gone to see Celestia. It had been little more than four in the morning when she emerged from Rainbow’s dream, and she had determined to let her big sister get her sleep before talking with her.
Shifting her eyes down, Luna noted the rays of fresh, early-morning sunlight that painted a section of her floor and wall in long, lightly shimmering stripes of gold. A few birds chirped beautifully outside Luna’s window, adding to the serene feeling of the still quiet morning. Luna let her head fall back to her pillow. It was still too early for her to get up and be comfortable with her day. Celestia could wait a little longer.
“...I cannot promise anything, Rainbow.”
“You can promise to try, and really, that’s all I want here.”
Luna winced as those words danced through her mind again. She had promised her niece that she would at least try and bring all of this up with Celestia, that she would try to seek help from those around her. She had seen this pattern enough in the many dreams she had scoured before her banishment; procrastination. Dutifully delaying what needed to be done until the last minute.
Here, like in the worst cases she had seen, there was that ominously looming possibility that if she waited too long to seek help, it would be too late to salvage the situation. Luna’s ears flattened somewhat before, with a tired groan and languid stretch, she sat up in her bed and rubbed the remaining sleep from her eyes. “...This cannot wait.” she murmured, dreading absolutely everything about what she knew she now had to do.
Slowly, almost as if she were afraid the floor would swallow her if she touched it, Luna managed to slide out of bed and set to work tidying herself up. She ran a comb through her mane and over the parts of her body where her coat was at its longest before stepping out of her room. She might have taken the time to shower or some other form of bathing, but decided it could wait. Now standing in the sizable hallway that shared the entrances to the three private chambers of the royal family, she eyed one of the doors with a hesitant, almost fearful gaze. Maybe she can wait just a bit longer… she found herself thinking, already doubting herself.
“Ah, your highness!”
Luna, startled, jumped slightly and whirled to the speaker. It was a gray pony in the dark blue armor of the Lunar Royal Guard that had spoken, bat-like wings at his side ruffling somewhat in his own mild form of surprise at the intensity of Luna’s reaction. He smiled weakly at her and stood tall. “I was not expecting you to be up so soon! Normally I’m relieved of duty by a solar guard long before you are up,” he explained, slightly nervous.
“Oh. At ease, gentlecolt,” Luna said after a moment, shaking her head somewhat with an exasperated, only slightly humored laugh. “I am not accustomed to such a loud greeting when I awaken… nor am I used to awakening at such an hour, as you observed.”
“Is something amiss?” the guard asked curiously, leaning forward just a bit. Luna eyed him with curiosity of her own. He was young; almost to the point that she was convinced he wouldn’t be the one in charge of guarding her chambers at night. There was an air of almost childish wonder in his eyes as he gazed back at her. He flinched away a bit, seemingly remembering who it was he was talking to. “Oh, ah, that is, if it is permissible for me to ask that of you, your majesty.”
“...What is your name, my subject?” Luna finally asked, genuinely curious.
“I’m Squall Dreamer, you’re highness,” the bat pony, now known as Squall, said with a smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise...” Luna nodded before shifting to look back at Celestia’s door. Her brow furrowed in uncertainty.
“...Please forgive my nosiness, your majesty, but… is something troubling you?”
Luna flinched slightly, telling the guard everything he needed to know. He didn’t comment on it, though, awaiting the princess to answer for herself. Eventually, Luna turned to look back at Squall, once again with a question in her mind. “Squall, may I ask something of you?”
“Of course! You don’t even need to ask.” Squall nodded along, perking up somewhat.
“Do you have any siblings?”
Squalls smile turned mirthful. “Four of them, yeah. All sisters,” he said before giving an exaggerated roll of his eyes and distant chuckle. “Probably the biggest pain in the flank I’ve ever met. But hey, they’re family, and I love ‘em just the way they are.”
Luna smiled slightly, glancing back at to Celestia’s door.
“The youngest one,” Squall continued a bit more solemnly, drawing Luna’s attention again. “Her name is Wind Whisper. She’s just the sweetest thing, I swear…” his eyes went a little distant. “But she… has anxiety problems. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve walked in on her crying her eyes out because she was terrified of failing, or of making everypony around her upset…”
“That’s quite enough, Squall-” Luna tried, though she lost her voice when Squall met her gaze with his own.
“I know what that kind of crying sounds like, Princess Luna. I know it very well. It’s the worst sound in the world to me. I don’t want to hear it ever again… but I’ve been hearing it every night.”
“I…” Luna couldn’t find any words. She stared blankly at the stallion in front of her for several moments before taking a deep breath and nodding. “Thank you, Squall.”
He smiled at her and gestured slowly with his head to the door to Princess Celestia’s room. “You’re welcome, your highness.”
Luna took another deep breath and strode slowly towards the doors that would take her to Celestia’s personal chambers. The doors loomed over her, almost seeming to grow larger and more imposing as she stared at them. Finally, though, she mustered her courage and, with a slight tremble in her movements, she opened the door with her magic.
“Sister?” She called timidly as she slowly crept into her elder sister’s bedchambers, closing the door softly behind her. Celestia was standing by her own window, gazing out onto Canterlot with a thoughtful expression as the sun steadily rose into the air. She then turned her eyes away from the cityscape and smiled welcomingly at Luna.
“Ah, Lulu. Good morning. I wasn’t expecting you to be up quite so early.” she said while cantering over to the blue alicorn and giving her a warm, welcoming embrace.
“I would still be asleep, yes, were it not for some… pressing information I need to bring to your attention.” Luna began with a small nod into Celestia’s chest fur. Celestia leaned back and looked into Luna’s eyes a bit more seriously.
“Did you find her?”
“I did. She is fine and said she should be back in Ponyville within the next day or so.” Luna replied with another nod before disengaging from the hug, looking away slightly.
“Where was she, exactly?” Celestia pressed, tilting her head when she noticed Luna shying away slightly.
“She didn’t say exactly where she went, nor did she elaborate fully on why she left without saying anything, only that she’ll be home soon. I would not worry too much, though. She has her friends with her.” Luna replied, shifting uncomfortably on her hooves. Her wings ruffled slightly at her sides.
“...Luna? Are you alright?” Celestia asked slowly, moving forward while reaching out with a hoof. Luna flinched away from the touch, which in turn made Celestia take a step back and recoil. “Little sister, you know you can trust me, don’t you?”
Luna sighed, screwing her eyes shut. She hesitated, then took a very long, deep breath. She opened her eyes, one of them rendered invisible behind her ethereal mane as she turned her face to look back at her big sister. The same sister she had once come to resent and despise, a sister whom she had borne an overwhelming jealousy of. “...Sister… Am I… am I forgiven?”
Celestia tilted her head, looking confused. “Forgiven? I've already forgiven you a long time ago, Luna. You don't need to keep apologizing. You're my sister and I love you, and nothing you could do will ever change that..”
Luna shook her head softly. “I… wish I could agree with you, sister…”
Celestia sat down and reached out again, though not to touch Luna; to offer her an embrace if she desired one. “What happened to bring this on?”
Luna also sat down, refusing the embrace for now. Her brow furrowed and her eyes briefly misted over. She made a slight choking sound while running a foreleg over her eyes to clear away the obstruction, then took a shaky breath. “I… cannot forgive myself for what I did as Nightmare Moon!” she blurted out, her wings unfurling just slightly. Celestia’s eyes widened, but the dam had broken, the floodgates opened, and nothing could stop the onslaught of words as they poured out of Luna’s mouth. “I created something that I have named the Tantabus. It it is my penance. It gives me the same nightmare every single time I slip into sleep, making sure that I never forget what I’ve done, punishing me for my mistakes so that I can never repeat them again!”
She choked down a sob, but continued all the same. “I can’t forgive myself and I don’t see how everypony else can find it in their hearts to forgive me so easily! How? How?! How can you look at me and not cringe away with resentment and bitterness? How can anypony see me in the halls and not.. And not-”
“Luna!” Celestia interrupted her, reaching out and yanking the younger alicorn into a suffocating embrace, wrapping her up in her wings like a shield. Luna fell silent, shaking horribly and clamping her eyes shut. Celestia squeezed her close, taking a shaky breath. “Don’t… don’t say that-… please don’t say that you shouldn’t be forgiven. Please.”
“Sister…”
“Shhh,” Celestia whispered, giving Luna another squeeze. “It’s alright, Lulu. It’s okay.”
Luna sniffled, burying her face in the crook of Celestia’s neck. “Truly?”
“I would never lie to my beloved little sister,” Celestia replied solemnly, starting to rock both of them back and forth. “And I would never hold a grudge against her, either.”
Luna’s eyes teared up again. She remained silent, though from how damp her shoulder was gradually becoming, Celestia knew for sure that Luna was crying her heart out.
“Just let it all out, Lulu. Let it out. You don’t have to be quiet this time. You don’t have to be on your own.”
That did it. Luna sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth before a long, sorrowful wail tore its way out of her lungs. The sounds reverberated around the room, though they did not leave it. Celestia had had the foresight to soundproof the walls with a quick spell before she said that.
For almost five minutes, this carried on, with Luna crying openly into Celestia’s shoulder, finally able to freely let all of her pent-up sorrow, guilt and frustration spill out into the open. At last, her sobs and cries began to die down to little more than quiet whimpers, than shaky breaths. When Luna was at last quiet again, Celestia gave her another gentle squeeze. “How long have you been feeling like this?” she asked in a whisper.
“Since I came back…” Luna replied in a hoarse, broken voice.
“You mentioned something called the Tantabus?”
“Yes…”
“How long have you had it?” Celestia leaned back slightly so she could look into Luna’s eyes. Luna returned the gaze with puffy, bloodshot eyes with very distinct patterns trailing down her cheeks where the fur was matted down.
“...Not long. I only finished it a w-week ago.” she admitted guiltily, looking down and away from Celestia.
Celestia pulled Luna in close again, holding her close. “Oh, Lulu… I’m so sorry you’ve felt this way for so long. Thank you so much for telling me, though.”
“Thank your daughter,” Luna said simply, causing Celestia to perk up a bit and lean back with wide eyes.
“Rainbow Dash?” she parroted before a look of understanding sparked behind her eyes. “...What happened when you found her, sister?”
Luna got a small, wistful smile on her face. “More than you might think…”
And so Luna told her. She told Celestia all about Rainbow’s dream, how the Tantabus had invaded it by exploiting an opening in its own containment, and the, as Luna described it, ‘brutal pep-talk’ she had then received. All the while, Celestia’s heart swelled with more and more pride as the pieces fell into place.
Luna’s right. Thank you so much, Rainbow Dash… who knows how long this would have gone unnoticed for if you had not been there to help her. She thought to herself, a small smile appearing on her face as she once again held her beloved little sister, her little moon, close to her chest.