Chapter Eleven:
In Which I Marry the Moose of My Dreams
The Big Day arrived. Twilight came to visit me in my Realm, where I’d been staying to avoid seeing Thorax before the wedding and found my hiding under my couch. She pulled me out by my tails.
“Not getting cold hooves, are we?” she asked teasingly.
“Twilight, I can’t do this!! I can’t get married, I’m only 22! In Draconequus years, I’m not even a month old yet! What if this is all a horrible mistake? What if a war starts, what if I go insane, what if I’m not good enough for him, what if-”
“Secundus, it’s fine. You’ll do great. It’s just a quick ceremony, followed by a slightly outrageous party. You’ll live. The marriage is much more important, despite what Stephen Magnet says. You do love Thorax, right?”
I nodded. “Enough to tear reality apart if I have to, yes. But I’m still nervous, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like. The Changelings seem to think I’m a joke, and that Thorax is way too wishy-washy, just because he wants to marry me. Twilight, , how can I live with myself if I constantly embarrass Thorax in front of his subjects? I love him, but I don’t want to cost him the respect of his friends and family. I just …”
Twilight gave me a quick hug. “Tell you what. The ceremony isn’t until 1:00 Equestrian Central Time, so for right now, why not just get into your tux? Rarity would never speak to you again if you didn’t at least try it on today. We wouldn’t want that.”
I nodded, and teleported the garment bag over to me. “Could you hoof me the tie?” She nodded, and hoofed it over. “Well, I will give Rarity credit when it’s this due. This is wonderful.” Instead of my usual half-and-half fashion sense that I used while wearing clothes, Rarity had created a simple black tux with a bright green inner lining. The buttons were a light gold, and the bowtie was the same shade of amethyst as Thorax’s eyes. I guess she wanted us to color coordinate, which was difficult in my case.
As I finished buttoning up the tux, and tying the bowtie, I cringed at a memory it brought up. Rarity had decided to make our outfits at Carousel Boutique, since it was her “home base.” One afternoon, close to the wedding date, I was passing by, when I heard a small explosion, followed by and enraged scream of “These measurements are impossible!!” followed by a truly epic guitar solo that made ponies in the street stop and stare with their mouths open. I’d promised myself to double her pay, and send her an extra-large box of chocolates as an apology.
My trip down memory lane continued. Rather than just popping in, I’d made a formal appointment with the Princesses. They both seemed happy to see me. “So, Secundus, what brings you here today?” asked Celestia.
I nervously ran my fingers through my mane. “Well … as you remember from our … last encounter … I’ve grown very close with Thorax.” The Princesses shared a knowing smile. By this point, most of the fur on my face had a pinkish tinge. “Anyway, long story short, I proposed yesterday, and he accepted. If it’s not too much trouble, would you perform the ceremony?”
Celestia smiled. I would be happy t-”
I cut her off. “Actually, and all due respect Princess Celestia, I was wondering if Princess Luna would marry us.”
“Me?” Luna asked, sounding shocked. I nodded. Lunas gaze was distant, she was lost in memory. “I … have never performed a wedding before.”
I smiled. “That’s part of the reason I’m asking. You do share equal power with Celestia. Err … would the wedding be legal? I’m not sure how common same-sex interspecies marriage is in Equestria.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed, and she smiled dangerously. Apparently, she took that as a challenge. “Given that our word is practically law, and even our expressions have an impact on governing principles, I am certain that if I marry you, no one will question it.”
I smiled again. “Great. The date is July 14th. I still have to pick a venue, but I’ll keep in touch between now and then.” I popped back to my realm, and collapsed into an armchair, wondering what all I was going to do about the wedding.
Back in the present, I teleported Twilight and myself to Canterlot Castle. It was the only venue big enough to house everypony, and everyling. Twilight took her seat in the front row, by her friends, and right next to Sombra.
I walked to the front of the room, sweating bullets. I glanced at the crowd. Twilight and her friends, Sombra, Shining Armor and Cadence, and Princess Celestia took up the front row. One half of the hall was taken up by the Changelings, all of whom were looking at me with interest. The other half of the hall was taken up with residents and friends from Ponyville, and towards the front sat Tempus, the Spirit of Time. Discord had insisted that a member of the Council attend and observe the wedding, to “make it official on our end,” and Tempus scared me the least. In all honesty, I was getting to be friends with some Draconequui, like Encore, the Spirit of Death.
“You nervous?” whispered Spike. Spike was serving as Thorax’s “best dragon.” I nodded. “All you have to do is say ‘I do,’” he said.
“I’m sure even he can remember that,” said Discord condescendingly. Discord was my “best Draconequus.” His suit jacket was a purple and pink plaid with a green polka-dot tie. I rolled my eyes, knowing that Discord still had to be himself, even down to his clothes.
Princess Luna took her place, and smiled benevolently at me and the crowd. “Here goes,” she whispered with a wink. A song started to echo through the hall, it wasn’t the “bridal march,” Thorax had said it was an old Changeling folk-tune. The Changelings all smiled, and a few buzzed their wings with excitement.
The doors opened, and Thorax walked in, looking as nervous as I was. His tux was black, with pale gold lining, and light green buttons. His bowtie was half black, and half sky blue, the closest color to my eyes I’d seen. I realized that Rarity had designed our tuxes to complement each other, and us. I had to paw it to that mare, she was brilliant.
“H-hi.” Thorax squeaked.
Luna looked over the assembled crowd, and cleared her throat. “Mares and Gentlecolts, Changelings and Draconequui, we are here today to formalize the union of Secundus, and King Thorax. I will admit that when I first met Secundus I was unsure what to make of him. I saw and Draconequus who was unsure of both himself, and his path in life; a Draconequus who could have been a friend or a foe to Equestria. I felt much the same way when Thorax became King of the Changelings. I sensed great goodness and joy within him, but was unsure what kind of a leader he would make. I am pleased to report that he has become a strong and inspired leader of his people. I am equally pleased with Secundus’s progress over the last few months. It is a rare individual who can fight the light hidden in darkness, and see good in those who cannot see it in themselves. I look forward to observing what I can of his life’s work.”
Luna looked at Thorax. “Do you, Thorax, take Secundus to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Thorax nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. One hundred percent.”
Luna looked at me. “Do you, Secundus, take Thorax as your lawfully wedded husband?”
I smiled. “Until Eternity passes.”
My ears heard Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom say “Awwww!” while Scootaloo said “Blech. Mush.”
There was a sound like a foghorn, and I could make out Cadence saying, “It’s … OK, he always cries at weddings.
Luna smiled. “Then I pronounce you king,” her grin widened, “and king.”
I looked at Thorax. “What does she mean?”
He smiled. “We’ll talk about it.” He then levitated my ring onto my finger, and I hung his locket around his neck. Thorax’s eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open. “The honeymoon! We forgot the honeymoon!!”
I smirked, reached into my jacket pocket, and pulled out some slips of paper. “I remember your disguise from our first date, and I always wanted to see my world’s version, so,” my smirk widened, “I just so happen to have some reservations for Mareis, Prance. Now, will you please stop worrying, and kiss me?” He blushed, and nodded. I cupped his face with my paws, bent down, and kissed him. *POW! BOOM! KA-POW! POP, POP, POP!* I jumped about a foot in the air. “What?!! I – oh. Flameless fireworks. Thanks, Doc!” I called.
Thorax chuckled, and kissed me again, this time to some cheers. “I love you Sec,” he murmured into my ear.
“I love you too Thorax.” I replied.
Thorax pulled away from me, and his ears drooped. He looked at me sadly. “I’m REALLY sorry about this, but I have to go now. Official Hive business.”
“WHAT?! Thorax, you can’t just-”
He put a hoof to my lips. “I am not going to let our first fight as husbands be at the altar,” he said with a smile. “I’ll be there tonight for the reception, I promise.”
“If you’re more than half an hour late …” I warned.
He smiled. “Can’t you just turn back time?” he teased.
I shook my head. “I’m still considered a ‘trainee,’ so I can’t do things like that without filling out an ungodly amount of paperwork. In triplicate. Technically, I’m still on probation for even traveling back in time to try to rescue you, remember?” I said summoning a pair of shackles. Discord and Tempus chuckled.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Thorax said, while giving me a nuzzle. He then turned, looked at the assembled Changelings, and nodded. The all stood up, and filed out, followed by Thorax. I stepped off the platform, wishing I had pants with pockets I could stuff my paws into. Ponies rushed over to meet me.
“Congratulations!” said Twilight. “I wonder where all the Changelings disappeared to.”
“I believe we will find out,” said Luna with a smile as she sauntered by.
“Weirdest. Wedding. Ever!” said Rainbow Dash with an evil grin.
“Aw! Thank you!” I smiled.
“Yes, congratulations, darling,” said Rarity, “I must admit, you two fit together nicely.”
“Thank you. Thank you for our tuxes as well. They’re perfect. I’m sorry they were so much trouble. I do have weird proportions compared to ponies.”
Rarity waved a hoof. “Think nothing of it! I was glad to contribute. How often do I get to design for royalty?”
I smiled, and sighed. “Well, thank you all. If you’ll excuse me, I have a lot to do before tonight. Ms. Pie? I believe I have need of your services.”
“Perfect!” Pinkie sang with a wide smile.
“Bye ya crazy noodle!” called Applejack.
“Good luck!” chirped Fluttershy.
I arrived at the chosen venue for the evening, and Pinkie and I began to set up. Pinkie fired black, white, and lime green streamers, as well as lots of confetti throughout the room, while I levitated, tablecloths, napkins, plates, glasses, silverware, and place cards to every table. The florist arrived, and we helped to set up the yellow roses. Pinkie blew up balloons that matched the stream colors, I have no idea how she found those exact colors.
A table was set up for cards and gifts. I’d asked some of the Changelings if we could borrow their artwork for the evening, and they seemed excited at the chance to show off. I carefully displayed the paintings, pots, sculptures, and knitted and crocheted projects throughout the room.
I checked on the catering, it was coming along well. A garden salad, followed by daisy and cucumber sandwiches, then baked hayloaves, then oatcakes for dessert. Naturally, there was a huge buffet of ‘hoof food,’ as it was called in Equestria. I’d politely asked all of the attending ponies to share as much love as they could with the Changelings, since the catering wasn’t their primary food source. The lights were dimmed, and candles were set up on every table and around the room, along with a sort of disco ball hanging from the ceiling. It was coming along nicely.
About the time the finishing touches were put on, Thorax trotted in. “Wow! This place looks great!”
I shrugged. “I had a lot of help. I’m glad you like it, it’s a bit … different. So, where did you and the rest of the Hive disappear to?”
Thorax gave a huge adorkable grin, and his eyes sparkled. “Weellll, there’s no precedent in Changeling law for this, but …” he paused for dramatic effect, “we’re officially joint rulers!”
My jaw dropped. “I-I’m a King? As in King of the Changelings? One of the rulers of Equestria?”
“What did you think would happen when you married into royalty?” Thorax teased.
I shrugged. “I don’t know, I didn’t think anything would change. I certainly didn’t think the title would transfer. I was just praying I wouldn’t get stuck with the title of ‘King’s consort.’” Thorax snickered. I sighed. “I don’t know what to say. Honestly … I’m a bit worried. Equestria’s my home world now, but I have to hop across the multiverse for work at the drop of a hat. Sometimes for months! What if … what if you need me, and I’m not here for you? What if something happens, and you get hurt, or – or worse?”
Thorax gave my paw a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll be fine together. We’ll work it out somehow. I promise I’ll stay safe, so you don’t worry.” He grinned. “Besides, I have my own fluffy noodle to protect me now!”
“Har. Har.” I said drily.
Thorax embraced me. “I’m serious! How many ponies or Changelings have a husband who would literally tear time and space apart for them, just to keep them safe? I know for sure you’ll protect me. Knowing you, probably in full-on papa wolf mode. You don’t know what it’s like to know that.”
I smiled. “Well, you aren’t exactly a cream-puff yourself anymore, you did a great job protecting me.” I hugged him tighter. “Thank you. For marrying me, and for everything, my goofy bug-horse.”
“You’re welcome, my crazy noodle,” he murmured.
I didn’t want to, but I broke out of the hug. “Well, the guests should be arriving soon. Shall we?” He nodded.
We stood by the door, and started to great the growing stream of guests. Cadence and Shinning Armor were among the first to arrive. I pulled them both into a hug. “Thank you for helping Thorax and me have our first date!”
Cadence laughed. “I was only doing my job! Besides, when Twilight wrote, she said you’d be perfect together,” she said with a smirk.
“Yeah, but if the two of you hadn’t set us up, I would never have asked Thorax out on my own, we wouldn’t have met, everything wouldn’t have happened that did happen, we wouldn’t have fallen in love, would wouldn’t have gotten married, and I’d have … stayed … in … my … room.” My voices trailed off. “For Eternity.” Thorax poked me. “Ow! Thanks, dear. Anyway, I just wanted to thank both of you properly.”
Shining smiled. “Don’t mention it! I hadn’t seen Cadence that excited to play matchmaker in almost a year!” Cadence elbowed Shining in the ribs with her wing.
“You’re both at table four, near Twilight and the Princesses. Enjoy yourselves!” They took their seats.
I spotted Tempus walking in with the Hooves family, he and the Doctor were having an extremely animated conversation. Words like ‘temporal refraction’ kept popping up. I greeted them, and pointed out their table. The Princesses walked in, each apparently trying to outdo the other with her huge gift bag. After they set them on the table, we made small talk for a few minutes, but I was starting to run out of things to say to everypony. All the Changelings who walked in stared at me; most with amusement, some with apprehension, some with slight mistrust, and others with expressions I couldn’t place. My being a new ruler of the Hive was going to take some getting used to; on all our sides.
Among the last to arrive were Twilight and her friends. “This place looks mighty nice,” said Applejack warmly.
“Thank Pinkie, she did most of it,” I said diplomatically.
Pinkie smiled. “Aww, it was nothing! You did all the heavy lifting!”
“It’s lovely,” said Fluttershy, “it suits you both so nicely.”
Discord was staring dreamily at her. “Now, promise me you’ll dance with me Fluttershy! I have some new moves I want to show you!” She smiled, and took his paw.
I spotted something by the door. “Would you all excuse me? This’ll just take a second. Thorax can show you all to your table; Shining, Cadence, Luna, Celestia, and Sunburst are waiting to see you all.”
I walked out the door, closed it behind me, and smiled. “Nopony’s going to bite you here, not even me.”
“I am … not comfortable … being seen in public. Yet,” said Sombra moodily.
“Well, you’ll have to be around ponies you don’t know who might know who you are at some point. I know what it’s like to worry others will think you’re a monster, but you’re not. Trust me on that. After everything I put them through the past year, that room is about as judgement-free as it gets. You look wonderful, by the way.”
“Are you hitting on me?” Sombra asked with a raised brow and a smirk.
“Hey, I’m married!” I laughed. My eyes went wide. “Good grief. I’m married! All I meant was that you look a lot more like the real you than you did the first time we met.” Sombra grimaced at that particular memory. I sighed. “Yeah, you’ve got a past you’re not entirely proud of, who doesn’t? Remind me to get together with you some time, and we can swap horror stories. Let’s head in, and remember that if anypony is cruel to you in there, I’ll eat them. After Twilight banishes them to another dimension, of course.” Sombra smirked. He nodded, and we went in.
The hall was filled with friends from all over. I took my seat next to Thorax, and the dinner began. Thorax and I chatted happily, but I noticed he was only picking at his salad. “Is the dinner not right?” I asked worriedly.
Thorax laughed, and shook his head. “No, it looks great! I’m just not very hungry,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, you have been feeding me a ten-course meal all day,” he said with a grin. He then peered at my plate. “What in the world are you eating?!”
I quickly swallowed, and put my plate under my chair. “You really don’t want to know. It’s a delicacy on a small planet 12 that’s solar systems out from here. Sorry if it bothers you.”
Thorax laughed, and put a leg around my shoulders, nuzzling into me. “I love that you’re weird, remember?” I nodded, picked my plate up, and went back to my food.
Neither of the “best men” were really the speech giving type, at least not at things like weddings, so after everyone had eaten, we all went outside, were snacks and a dancefloor had been set up.
As we headed out, Thorax asked, “So, what song did you pick? I never got to find out.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. I had to get special permission, but I was able to import a record of some old favorites of mine. I think you’ll like it.”
We took the floor, and Vinyl Scratch dropped the record into her DJ table. As Thorax and I started dancing, I’d never felt more at home. When my favorite verse came on, I softly sang along to Thorax, Let ‘em say we’re crazy, what do they know? Put your arms around me baby, don’t ever let go, let the world around us, just fall apart, baby we can make it if we’re heart to heart
And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing’s gonna stop us now, and if this world runs out of lovers, we’ll still have each other, nothing’s gonna stop us, nothing’s gonna stop us now…
After a while, Thorax murmured, “Sec.”
“Hmm?”
“The music’s stopped.”
I flicked an ear. “Ah. Yes. So it has.”
“Plus, we’re floating.”
I glanced down. “Only by about three feet. I was wondering why I felt light-headed.” I gave Thorax one last twirl, and returned us to the ground.
Pinkie edged into my vision, her eyes wide, and her smile getting bigger and bigger. I rolled my eyes, grinned, and nodded. “LET’S GET THIS PART STARTED!” she cried, leaping up as confetti exploded behind her. The outside dancefloor lit up, and music filled it, as ponies began to dance, laugh, and talk.
I got to do one of my least favorite things in creation … mingle. It helped that my coltfri- husband I mentally corrected with a bit of giddiness, could sense exactly how nervous I was. After about ten minutes, I began to loosen up. One of my favorite songs by an Equestrian 70s-style band called Leo came on. I started tapping my hoof to the beat. Before I knew it, I was dancing, and losing myself in the song.
Two minutes later, I heard very familiar hysterical laughter. “You are a horrible dancer!” Thorax called gleefully.
“I told you! Why did everypony think I’d be a good fast dancer when I explicitly said I wasn’t?” Thorax snickered. “You know you love me,” I teased.
Thorax’s eyelids lowered, and a seductive smile oozed up his muzzle. “Do I know that?” he asked lowly. He thought about it for thirty seconds. “Yes. Yes, I do,” he finally decided.
I smiled, and looked around the room at everypony dancing. “Would you excuse me for a little over three minutes?” He nodded. I walked over to a mare I’d spotted, who I never thought would be alone at a party. I held up the black and white top hat Discord had given me. “Would you like to see a magic trick Pinkie?”
“Sure!” she said with a smile.
I reached into the hat, and rummaged around, my arm disappearing up to the shoulder. There was a clattering sound, followed by a yelp. I then pulled somepony partway out of the hat. The stallion looked around the room, then down at the dinner jacket he hadn’t been wearing a moment ago. A kazoo fell out of his mouth. “Bw-bwah?” he asked.
“Cheesie!” cried Pinkie.
I leaned down. “My apologies, Mr. Sandwich, but I knew you were out in the middle of the desert, and I thought Ms. Pie could really use a dance partner. When you’re ready to go back, just step back through the hat,” I said, pulling him the rest of the way out, and setting him on his hooves. “Maybe the two of you could head back together,” I said with a wink.
Pinkie attacked Cheese Sandwich in a hug. “I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! You haven’t written in weeks!”
Cheese chuckled. “I missed you too. Sorry, I’ve been a bit busy lately, I was thinking of swinging by to surprise you, actually.” He looked at me. “Uh … thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” I said as I pawed him the hat. “Have fun you two!”
When I got back, Thorax said, “That was really sweet of you.”
“Thanks.”
Thorax pulled me down to give me a nuzzle. When I straightened up, Thorax raised an eyebrow, and said, “Why do I get the feeling there was an ulterior motive?”
I folded my arms. “I don’t always have an ulterior motive,” I said with an evil grin.
“Sec!” Thorax groaned.
“Oh, look! Cucumber sandwiches!” Thorax trailed after me over to the table. “Having fun?” asked Twilight.
I nodded. “Yes, actually. I’m having an amazing time.”
Twilight raised her glass in a small toast. “I sincerely hope the two of you have along and happy life together!”
“Thank you!” I said. “I know it will be a happy one, and I hope it will be a long one, I’m not sure of the exact length. I think I’m stuck at being physically twenty-two forever,” I said with a laugh. “I hope I age mentally, I’d like to be a bit more mature a century from now.” I turned to Thorax. “I know Changelings can lead very long lives, and your becoming King could have really extended your lifespan. What do you think about it?”
Thorax nodded. “Well, Chrysalis is over 1,500 years old, so, we could be together a very long time, yes. I can’t see the future any more than you can, I don’t know if I’ll live as long as an alicorn. Besides, I’m only forty-six,” he finished with a smile.
Twilight spat out her drink. “YOU’RE WHAT?!”
“Forty-six,” Thorax said in a puzzled tone.
Twilight looked at me with her mouth open. “You married somepony twice your age?!” she asked in shock.
“Calm down, Twilight! Changelings age at half the rate ponies do, it’s one of the reasons they live so long. In Changeling years, Thorax is twenty-three, so there’s,” I calculated quickly, “only a six month age difference, right?” Thorax nodded. “Spike never told you that?” I asked Twilight with surprise.
“I never told Spike,” Thorax muttered.
“Oh,” I said.
“I didn’t want him to think I was old,” Thorax said with a nervous grin.
“I … guess I can understand that,” Twilight said.
“When Changelings say I’m as mature as a twelve or thirteen year old, it’s actually more of an insult than it sounds,” I said with a grin.
“They’re warming up to you,” Thorax assured me.
“I know, I know.” Twilight excused herself. “So! Chrysalis is 1,500 years old?” I asked. Thorax nodded. A horrible thought struck me, and I accidentally froze the punch bowl, and blew out a lightbulb.
Thorax winced at my sudden change in emotion. “What?” he asked quickly.
I picked Thorax up to my eye level, and said, “Quick! Tell me now, in case I have to file for divorce in the morning. Is Chrysalis my mother-in-law now?!”
“SECUNDUS Q. JONES!” Thorax shouted.
I set him down. “Sorry about that, I’m just overreacting, as usual. … ‘Q. Jones?’” I snarked with a smirk.
“It just seemed to fit,” Thorax said with a smug grin. He then said, “Changelings don’t have last names. We might need one on occasion, for official. Do you have a last name?”
“Nope, it’s just Secundus!”
“Jones it is! I finally got my revenge for ‘Moosey!’” Thorax flew up, and triumphantly “Boop!”ed me.
I grabbed my snout. “One of these days, I will get to do that back to you,” I hissed lowly.
“I look forward to it,” Thorax said with a smirk.
I looked at my friends around the room. Spike and Rarity were busy dancing together, Rainbow Dash and her friend Soarin were doing what looked like the Robot in midair, Pinkie and Cheese looked like an orange and pink tornado, Applejack was dancing with somepony I recognized as Troubleshoes Clyde (there was a large clearing around them, along with some broken plates) Discord and Fluttershy were doing some impressive swing dancing, Starlight and Sunburst were slowly dancing together, and Twilight and Sombra were slowly waltzing, which is what the tempo of the song actually was. I laughed at the fact that nopony cared if they were dancing ‘correctly,’ as long as they were together, and having fun.
After the song ended, I walked over and said, “Hey, Twilight, thanks for the – Twilight? Twilight?!” I waved a paw in front of her face, but she wasn’t moving. I looked around the room, and saw that nopony else was moving either. Even Discord was frozen. There was a faint, high-pitched ringing. “H-hello?” I called. “Anypony?”
“Hello,” said someone’s voices from behind me. I jumped, turned around, and saw … myself. The other me snickered. “That never gets old,” he said.
I quickly examined the other me. He looked almost exactly the same, but there were some small differences. His mane was slightly longer and more jagged than mine, and so was his half-beard. His fur was also slightly longer than mine, but not very noticeably. Around his neck hung a yin/yang pendant. He looked like me if I was about a year older than I currently was, and a bit of a hipster. I got the impression that it was a lot more than just one year.
I sighed. “I’d assume this is one of Discord’s jokes, but …” I raised an eyebrow. “Time travel?”
The other me nodded. “Eeyup.”
“Didn’t the Council explicitly say-”
“No weird time junk?” Future me finished. I nodded. “Well, I may have the same rugged good looks, but I’m a lot older at this point in my life,” he pointed at himself, “then at this point in my life,” he pointed around the room. “Besides, I get off probation really quickly,” he said with a grin.
I rubbed my head. “I know we’re both me, but I need some new pronouns.” Future me laughed. “So, what is so important that it causes me to meddle in my own timeline?”
Future me put a paw on his right heart, pretending to be affronted. “I’m not meddling! It’s my wedding day! I’m here to give myself a gift!”
“What, pray tell, would that be?”
“Advice I desperately needed,” Future me said.
“Fair enough,” I said with a smirk.
“First! Some advice for married life: Thorax is always right. Even when you have irrefutable scientific evidence to the contrary, he’s right.” I nodded.
Future me stared at Thorax’s frozen form for several minutes. I noticed I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring at that point in my life, and I knew that expression. “How long has it been since you – since I’ve seen him?”
Future me closed his eyes. “A while,” he said lowly.
“How did he-?”
“Do you really want me to tell you everything?” the older me teased. I smiled, and shook my head. “Second bit of advice: don’t hate yourself. You’re a good person, you’ve got so much going for you even if you can’t always see it, and you always have people who care about you. Fight through the bad days. Yes, you’ve made mistakes, you’re going to make mistakes, trust me on that, I’m qualified to know,” Future me said with a laugh. “That doesn’t mean your mistakes define you. Just know you’re moving forward, however slowly it might seem at the time, and you’re worth it.
“Lastly, ‘Man is that he might have joy.’ You may not be human anymore, but it still applies. Try to just enjoy being alive, because, if you stop and think about it, there’s a lot more to enjoy than to hate or have to endure. There’s a lot more I could say, but I’ll just have to let myself discover it.” Future me then walked up to frozen Thorax, and gave him a quick hug. “Yes, I’m still clingy,” he said with a glare, sticking his tongue out.
Very faintly, as if it was on the other side of another room, that was also underwater, I thought I heard a voice call “Dad! Come on! Let’s go!”
Future me turned, and grinned at me. “Spoilers!” he said with a wink. He walked a few feet away. He then snickered, before clutching his stomach, and howling with laughter that was extra-hysterical, even for me.
“What?” I asked nervously. I knew what that laugh meant.
Future me looked at me with an evil grin, and a glint in his eye. “Try to enjoy the rest of your night,” he said mysteriously. He then disappeared in a burst of confetti.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I muttered.
I thought everypony was still frozen, until Tempus walked over to me. “You know, no matter how many times I tell you not to meddle like that, you never listen. It’s extremely annoying,” he said with a broad grin. I got the feeling he didn’t actually mind. Tempus snapped his fingers, and time started again.
“Thanks,” I said. “I guess I’ll always be a bit absent-minded.”
“Mmm, aren’t we all?” Tempus mused. “Though in your case, ‘scatter-brained’ is a much better adjective.” Before I could reply, Tempus grinned, and said, “Great shindig! Equestrians through a great party, even if you aren’t a party entity,” he finished slyly. Tempus then said, “I think I’ll just have some pudding.” I knew better than to tell him there wasn’t any, he’d make some if he wanted it. He wandered vaguely pudding-wards.
Thorax telekinetically dragged me over to him. “Dance with me!” he shouted. Whereas I was a horrible dancer, Thorax practically owned the floor, seeming like an Equestrian pop-star. Somehow, we balanced each other out. I “glitched” my vocals to the singing, to match with Thorax’s moves.
As the night wore on, I had a spectacular time, and was thankful for all the good and bad that had happened. At one point, I snapped the pile of gifts back to my Realm, for Thorax and I to go through later.
Finally, it was time to head out. “Thank you all so much for being here!” I shouted at everypony there. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, but we have to be going! It was a wonderful night, I couldn’t have asked for a better wedding night!”
I walked Thorax over to a waiting hot air balloon. I then remembered something, and held up a bouquet. I tossed it over my shoulder. “MINE!” called Rarity as she sprang for it. It veered off at the last second, before exploding. A hybrid purple, white, and green rose fell in front of Spike and Rarity, a yellow rose fell in front of Discord and Fluttershy, a sky-blue rose fell by Rainbow Dash and Soarin, a chocolate rose fell by Pinkie and Cheese, a peach rose fell by Applejack and Troubleshoes, and a blood-red rose fell by Twilight and Sombra.
“What was that for?” whispered Thorax.
“What makes you think I had anything to do with it?” I asked innocently. Thorax gave me a Look. “Look, I just needed to do it, even I can’t wait forever for the rest of them to get ball rolling!”
“You’re incorrigible,” said Thorax with a grin.
“Yet somehow, Dear Reader, he married me,” I teased back.
We got into the hot air balloon, I put on a pair of goggles, and pawed a pair to Thorax. I then pulled a big red lever. Nothing happened. Thorax recognized the gleam in my eye. “Sec? What are you doing?” he asked slowly.
*VROOOOOOOSHH!* “GEEEERRRRROOONNNNNIMMMMOO!” I shouted as the hot air balloon took off like a rocket.
“SEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCC!” screamed Thorax.
After a high-speed trip across Equestrian airspace, the bottom dropped out of the basket.
“Wuaaggh!” screamed Thorax, his legs flailing wildly.
He dropped into my arms. I pulled out one of his wings, and gave him a tired smile. “Seriously? You. Can. Fly. Why did you need me to save you?”
“I didn’t know we’d be flying. Don’t do that again!” Thorax said, trying to get his heartrate under control.
I looked up, and made the hot air balloon disappear. “In that case, one slow trip to the ground coming up. I wouldn’t have let you fall, you know. Let me take a page out of Fraulein Poppins’ book.” I held up an umbrella, and we slowly drifted to the ground.
“Thank you,” Thorax said with relief. He looked around. “Oh, wow! Mareis is beautiful!”
“It most definitely is,” I agreed. “I think our hotel is … this way?”
Thorax smirked. “I am not trusting you with the directions.” He held out a hoof. “Map, please!” I conjured up a map. “So, what’s the name of the hotel?”
“The Winded Feather.”
“Isn’t that the best hotel in Mareis?” Thorax squeaked.
I nodded. “You’re royalty, and if I want, I can conjure up the G.D.P. of an entire planet.” I waved a finger under his nose. “Don’t question my need to spoil you! So, which way?”
Thorax smiled, and pointed in the opposite of the direction I’d pointed. “This way. Come on, you goof.” I followed him in the direction he’d picked, which was, thankfully, correct. Thorax let out a low whistle at the lavishness of the hotel.
“Don’t worry, you’re worth it,” I said. I walked up to the check-in desk, automatically slipping into Prench. Being a Spirit had its perks sometimes. “Good evening. I wrote several weeks ago to make a reservation. It’s under the name ‘Secundus.’”
The mare behind the counter looked through her registry. “Ah, yes, of course.” She hoofed us over some keys. “You’re in the Honeymoon Suite, room 1010. Enjoy your stay with us!”
“Thank you, I’m sure we will.”
As we headed for the elevator, Thorax smirked, and said, “So, could you speak Prench to me?”
I laughed. “Only if it’s your native language, sorry. I don’t exactly control it, it just automatically happens.” Thorax looked disappointed. “I can however, learn it quickly.”
When we got into the room, I sat down on the bed, undid my bowtie, and unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt. Thorax sat at the head of the bed. Thorax started running a hoof through my mane, and I started to purr like a cat, before clapping my paws over my mouth. “Oh, good grief.” I said, turning beet red.
“I am definitely saving that one for future reference,” said Thorax with an evil grin. He then gave me a visual once-over. “You look exhausted!” he chuckled.
I nodded. “I’ve never partied that hard before. In either life. I’m tired, yes. I’ll be fine.”
“Well, I hope you’re not too tired,” Thorax said with a smirk.
Not thinking all the way, I replied, “Why, what did you want to – OH.” I said, my eyes growing wide.
Thorax nodded, with a cheery, evil grin. “It is our wedding night, I believe it’s tradition…”
A familiar voice popped into my head, Try to enjoy the rest of your night… I actually snickered at that.
Thorax’s eyelids narrowed. “Did you forget I’m empathic? I know how you feel about me, you can’t still think it’s wei-”
I cut him off by grabbing him by the bowtie, and kissing him. “Did I say ‘no,’ you dumb bug? I don’t recall saying ‘no.’” Thorax smirked. I clicked my fingers, turning out all the lights in the room. Ten seconds later, I asked, “So, does this mean I can take that creepy Batmane poster out of our room? I hate the way it looks at me when you’re asleep.”
“SECUNDUS!” roared Thorax.
“Just sayin’.” I muttered.
The End.