//------------------------------// // Red Vs. Blue // Story: Gormless // by Curtis Wildcat //------------------------------// Eaten breakfast: check. Duffel bag with necessary supplies: check. Fully dressed and ready to leave: check. ... Bottle of soda pop from the refrigerator: check. I told my parents good-bye and stepped out the front door towards my destiny. ... Hi, guys. My name's Puma Claw, and I had just left to start my first day at Canterlot High School. Life at CHS was something that I'd previously only read about in my older brothers' Yearbooks. I used to flip through them and look at pictures of people that I would never meet, of teachers that my siblings used to talk about (and sometimes make fun of). I'd look at the "Senior Will and Testament" that was printed, describing what students would leave behind to the underclassmen (whether for real or in jest, I never knew). I wondered at times what things were like, what spawned the comments of those who left their autographs at the back of the book. I distinctly remember one such comment that suggested that their Government teacher let them play "Risk" in class on occasion. As I walked the mile and a quarter that rested between my house and the school, I found myself dreading it. According to one of my older sisters, the last one of our family to have graduated from there before me, she'd found the environment very welcoming. The Principal and Vice-Principal did their best to help the students where possible, and the upperclassmen had supposedly mellowed out a little from their junior high years. Nonetheless, my time in school from kindergarten through the 8th grade had been anything but welcoming, so I didn't believe that things would be any different. Surprisingly, things went pretty well my first day for the most part (discounting a minor incident where I misread my schedule and ended up in gym when I should have been in Algebra, but that's neither here nor there). For whatever reason, I didn't see the nuisance that had plagued me during my time in junior high; you'd think a kid with lemon yellow skin and magenta hair would have been easy to spot. In any case, I wasn't about to argue. Though I didn't know it at the time, I was about to gain another nuisance in my life. You've got plenty of computer languages floating around. Java, Python, C++, Cobol, RPG, just to name a few (and to you gamers out there, that last one isn't what you're thinking of). Thing is, learning computer programming is like learning music: before you start playing Beethoven's 'Fur Elise', you've first got to learn which note gets played where. And for learning which piece of code goes where, there's no better starting point than Visual Basic. Early on I was interested in programming, so when I found out that CHS offered a class for it I decided it was a good place to begin. My 5th hour programming class was a mix of students from all four grade levels, but for the time being I'm only going to focus on two of said students. One of them was sitting in a far corner of the classroom near a window when I got to class, staring at a computer screen dejectedly and looking as if she'd been crying recently. She cringed when I took the seat next to hers, but over time she relaxed when it became apparent that I was more interested in trying out the typing program that someone in the previous class had left open than in talking to her. Were I anyone else, her attitude would have struck me as off. (I would find out later during roll call that her name was Fluttershy, and that her reason for taking a programming course was purely magnanimous: she volunteered her time at an animal shelter, and the computers used there occasionally had issues with their programs and data. It was her hope that someday she could understand computers well enough to help operations there run more smoothly, hence her desire to take several related courses. In her opinion, every minute saved through efficiency could be spent helping animals find decent homes or otherwise caring for them.) The other person---who, in my opinion, was dressed rather tastelessly---looked like she intended to sit in the back row as well. She stopped when she saw me, scowled and shook her head, then took a seat at the computer in the row in front of us. I just shrugged and continued typing; she hadn't said or done anything yet, so I didn't react to her presence. At least, not yet. There was a flash of green out the corner of my eye, but I chalked it up to an artificial plant and continued typing. Sunset Shimmer started the day in a foul mood. It was bad enough that she was never much of a morning person. She wasn't the type to wake up bright and cheery, as if life itself shone down on her with a wondrous radiance. No, she would much rather tell mornings to take a long walk off a short pier and leave her alone. Belatedly, she remembered an old comic she'd seen once about an obese housecat who threatened his sunrise-watching owner with violence just for waking him up before dawn. It quickly got much worse, though, when her brain forced her eyes out of Sleep Mode and she saw the calendar pinned to a wall, with a very specific date circled in red. She didn't think she'd ever gotten ready and arrived to her classes so quickly even as a young filly, but a soft growling reminded her that it came at the cost of breakfast. Thank small mercies for half-days. As soon as classes are over, I'm going home and getting some food, not that ridiculous stuff stashed in the vending machine. The idea of a croissant egg-sausage-cheese sandwich never sounded so good, microwaved or not. She barely remembered to direct a smile at Flash Sentry as he walked past her in the hallway on the way to his own classes, then she resumed glaring at everyone and everything. A few freshmen she passed in the hallway recoiled and backed away when they saw her, clearly not wanting to mess with her. And if that's not enough, whenever I walk past the statue, I'm reminded that Celestia chose another student behind my back. I don't know whether she took her in when she began thinking she wasn't getting anywhere with me or not, and I don't care; just the thought of it burns me. Steaming like an unattended crockpot, Sunset marched into the computer room. Sneering a little when she saw Fluttershy in the corner, she decided to take her temper out on her and made a beeline for the back row... only to find that someone beat her there. The student sitting there in her intended seat, his fingers flying across the keyboard, was obviously a freshman. He had gray skin a shade darker than Derpy Hooves', short brown hair in a crew cut, with a blue shirt and jeans, and he looked like he'd been hitting the snacks harder than Babe Ruth ever hit baseballs. A set of stylized, criss-crossing yellow claw marks---his cutie mark, had he been born a pony---were sewn into both shoulders of his shirt. His gaze flicked up to her as she frowned in displeasure and took a different seat, then he shrugged and continued minding his own business. Another time, then. Fluttershy will keep for now... bell's about to ring. She had just enough time before the bell rang to wonder when this particular classroom had gained an artificial plant. ... ... It wasn't the first time that Wallflower Blush had accidentally slipped beneath everyone's notice, and it wouldn't be the last. I've never been a good judge of people. Probably never will, either. I heard the name "Sunset Shimmer" for the first time when the teacher was handling the roll-call. Most of the names would probably sound strange wherever you're from, but for me it was just another one out of sixteen, maybe seventeen students. Besides, what's in a name? A miserable little pile of secrets? ...Okay, that one was bad. Sorry. Anyway, as the teacher gave her introductory speech and talked a little about herself, I kept giving curious looks over to Fluttershy. She was seated at an angle where that flame-haired girl was in her line of sight, so as she was paying attention to the teacher she kept cringing whenever her eyes drifted in Sunset's direction. I didn't understand what the deal was, but as I didn't want to interrupt the class solely to bring it up with her, I just kept quiet. Closer to the end of class, when most of the students were either chatting, playing Solitaire or the like, the teacher approached me with a friendly smile. "Excuse me, Puma Claw?" she asked. "Do you have an older sister named 'Cougar Claw'?" I heard one of my classmates snicker at this, but I didn't get why. "Yes," I confirmed. "How come?" "Could you tell her that Jacqueline Trades says hello?" the teacher requested. "We were classmates here at CHS back in the day." Huh. That's neat. "Sure," I agreed with a nod and a thin smile, returning my attention to my typing. ... ... That laughter I heard while I was talking to the teacher continued to bug me, though. Just after the bell rang and I'd gathered my things together, I turned to ask a person who didn't look like she'd be inclined to tease me about it---which happened to be the girl most bothered by Sunset's presence. "Excuse me, but do you know why that kid was laughing when he heard my sister's name?" I asked her. /-/-/-/-/-/ As Sunset went to her next class, she kept up a conversation with one of her lackeys. She didn't know why Snips had any sort of interest in computing, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to know. "I'm not getting the joke," she was saying. "Whoever his sister is, the name's not that funny." /-/-/-/-/-/ Fluttershy recoiled and shrunk in on herself a little when Puma spoke to her, but straightened when she realized the source of his confusion. "Um... you don't happen to like cats, do you?" /-/-/-/-/-/ "You seriously don't know what a 'cougar' is?" Snips laughed, catching himself when Sunset directed a frown at him. "...What is your opinion of cats, anyway?" /-/-/-/-/-/ "I think they're cool. Why?" /-/-/-/-/-/ "About the same as any other animal, Snips. Why?" /-/-/-/-/-/ "...I realize this sounds strange, but a 'cougar'..." /-/-/-/-/-/ "Then you won't be too offended. A 'cougar'..." /-/-/-/-/-/ "...is an older woman who wants to have sex with a younger man." /-/-/-/-/-/ "..." According to what I was told later, my face was somewhere in the vicinity of "stricken". I opened my mouth a few times and tried to give some sort of reply, but my brain wasn't cooperating. Fluttershy closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. "Sorry if it's a shock," she murmured as she turned and left. I allotted my brain one more chance to boot up, then gave up and shook my head. "This is going to be an interesting year," I growled to myself as I followed Fluttershy's lead. /-/-/-/-/-/ "...You're making that up," Sunset deadpanned. "I'm telling you, that's the real definition!" Snips protested. "Look it up!" Sunset shivered as she tried---and failed---to keep certain mental images out of her head. If someone created and patented brain bleach, I'd buy stock in the company. "Ridiculous topics aside, you and Snails just keep doing what you've been doing," she uttered in a quieter tone. "Keep a discreet eye on things and let me know if anyone gets too uppity." "No problem!" Snips reassured her before breaking away towards his next class, whatever it was. Sunset looked ahead, smiling softly. Those who saw her kept their eyes on their own business to keep from drawing her attention. Much as I'm looking forward to leaving this place for good next year, I think part of me's going to miss this routine. "This is going to be an interesting year," she said to herself, her voice somewhere between a hiss and a whisper. /-/-/-/-/-/ "Let the good times roll."