Eight year old Anna and five year old James were two normal human children living in a small town. The two enjoyed many things together, including their favorite dessert, their favorite toys, their favorite games, and their favorite television shows.
The children’s mother, Donna, was a kind and considerate middle-aged woman who spent her time as a secretary for a small paper company in their town. She loved spending time with their kids and it was often said she spoiled them rotten; baking them their favorite cookies and spending some of her hard-earned money in order to buy them new games and toys. One particular afternoon after she had gotten off work, Donna went to the local toy store, bought a special gift for her two children, and left after hiding the gift in a small bag before picking Anna and James up from school.
When Donna and the children got home, Donna revealed her gift to Anna and James: a doll of Pinkie Pie that was an exact replica of the pony on the show, right down to her face, her body covered with soft pink fur, her wild mane and tail, and the three balloons that made up her cutie mark. It was Anna who soon found their new Pinkie Pie doll could speak if one inserted batteries in it, so Donna opened up the doll and inserted the batteries in. Much to the children’s delight, the doll began to talk when the batteries were inserted, saying fun and silly phrases whenever the children squeezed her front hoof. The two enjoyed the gift and thanked their mother and continued playing with it throughout the day.
It wasn’t until nearly dinner time at which the children’s father came home. Eric was a man with a sour face and a hardened heart, and came home from his job at the bank in a grumpy mood much like he had every other night. Anna and James rushed up to greet their father, who hugged them unenthusiastically in return, and showed them the gift that they had been given. Eric took the toll and squeezed the hoof at Anna’s insistence, and the pony talked.
“My name is Pinkie Pie, and I want to be your friend!”
Eric gave the doll back to Anna and the children ran off to play with it some more.
“How much did that pony cost?” Eric demanded.
“I found it on sale at the toy store around the block from the elementary school,” Donna said. “It was only forty-five dollars instead of sixty. There was only Pinkie Pie left, and you know how much the kids love that show.”
“It’s too baby-ish,” Eric scoffed. “Anna at least is in the right demographic, but James ought to be doing something more geared to his gender. I remember at his age, I was playing with toy hardware and Hot Wheels. They’ve got to grow up a little.”
“Oh, Eric,” Donna said, “they’re only young once. And they genuinely like it. They’ve been playing with it all day since I brought it home and watch the show every morning before they go to school.”
“Well, forty-five dollars is still too much to spend on a whim.”
“Just because you work all day and provide the money for this family doesn’t mean you need to be a grump all evening when you get home. The least you could have done was act interested in the pony instead of just waving it off. Anyways, dinner’s ready. Anna! James! Go and wash up for dinner!”
“Yes, mom!” the kids said, and ran off from the living room where they were playing, leaving the doll behind.
While his wife continued making dinner, Eric got up and walked over to the living room where the doll was on the floor. It was cute. Too cute, Eric thought, and picked up the doll before giving the hoof a squeeze.
“My name is Pinkie Pie, and I think you’re mean.”
Eric stared at the doll, confused. This was a doll for little kids? Eric gave the hoof another squeeze.
“My name is Pinkie Pie, and I don’t want you as my friend.”
Imagine this! Eric thought. A doll that talks back worse than my wife. Frustrated with the doll and the amount of money his wife had spent on it, Eric threw the doll at the television, which flicked on to show a scene with an animated pink pony with completely straightened hair and dulled pink fur, looking maniacally at the camera.
“My name is Pinkamina, and I want to make cupcakes with you.”
Annoyed, Eric shut off the television and left the doll in the room before going to the kitchen for dinner. Donna was placing a bowl of salad covered with a brown dressing on the table, in addition to a bowl of mashed potatoes.
“Eric,” Donna said. “I heard you messing with that doll in the living room.”
“Donna,” Eric said. “Please don’t be mistaken.”
“You threw it, didn’t you?”
Eric gasped.
“Eric,” Donna continued, “we’re living in a different time period than you lived in. Time has moved on. Let the kids enjoy what they enjoy and worry about teaching them how life is later on. James is hardly in kindergarten.”
Eric was fuming but didn’t say anything.
“Besides, Anna and James love you very much, even if they aren’t your own.”
Eric managed to restrain themselves.
“Don’t you remember me always saying I wanted to have a little girl with you?”
“Oh, Eric…”
“I still do, but I didn’t expect to have three little girls running around this house.”
Donna gasped. “You inconsiderate man! I only wanted to do something nice for our children because you never do, and you go and chastise me for it.”
“Listen to me, Donna,” Eric said, his voice a low growl. “I want that damned horse—”
“Pony,” Donna interrupted.
“I want that damned pony out of this house by tomorrow when I get home.”
“Make me,” Donna said, folding her hands across her front.
Eric couldn’t say anything in response; Anna and James were standing at the entry to the kitchen.
- - - -
Later that evening, after Donna sent the kids upstairs to bed, there was a loud screaming.
“I’ll go check it out,” Eric said.
“Be gentle with them,” Donna chided gently.
Eric groaned as he walked up the stairs and down the hall to the children’s room. The pink pony doll was in between the hands of both Anna and James, who were fighting over who would get the pony, suspended by its back hooves.
“What’s going on here?” Eric shouted.
“I wanna sleep with the doll!” Anna shouted.
“I want the doll!” James shouted.
“I want it!” Anna said.
“No!” James shouted. “Mine!”
“If both of you don’t figure it out, I’ll take the doll away from both of you!” Eric roared.
This, as expected, did nothing. James and Anna started arguing about who had called it first and Eric was moments away from stepping in and tearing the doll apart until a voice came out of nowhere.
“You gotta share… you gotta care…” the pony sang.
Almost immediately afterwards James and Anna stopped their shouting. Both of them stared at the doll for a moment before looking at each other apologetically.
“I’m sorry, James,” Anna said, releasing the pony. “You can sleep with Pinkie Pie tonight.”
“Yay!” James cheered, hugging the doll then hugging his big sister. “Thank you, Anna! You can have it tomorrow night.”
“Alright,” Eric said. “Dispute settled. Now both of you get into bed.”
“Yes, dad,” James and Anna said solemnly as they went to their beds, James curled up with the Pinkie Pie doll in his bed.
Eric flicked off the light and left the room and went to the bathroom before going over to his own bedroom to gather up the newspaper to read. Heading back over to check on the children, he found the eyes of the pony glowing as they seemingly stared straight at him from James’ bed.
“My name is Pinkie Pie, and I really want to be your friend.”
Eric rubbed his eyes, unsure if he was seeing things, and looked again. The Pinkie Pie pony doll was in the same position it had been in when James had gone to bed at it and the eyes didn’t glow. Eric gave off a “hmph” before heading back downstairs with the paper.
“Eric,” Donna said. “I’ve made you a cup of coffee. I’m going upstairs to sort out some papers before going to bed.” She walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Good night, dear.”
“Good night, Donna,” Eric said and unfolded the paper in his favorite chair, sipping from his cup of coffee.
Later that night, when Eric was about ready to go to bed, he folded up the newspaper and put it in a small bin placed next to his favorite armchair, then went to go pick up his coffee to put the cup away. However, when he felt the cup, it was not how he imagined it; instead of being cool and smooth, he was touching something warm and soft.
Eric turned to the table next to him to see the Pinkie Pie doll in place of where his cup should have been. Eric jumped as the doll began to speak.
“My name is Pinkie Pie, and I don’t think you should be my friend.”
Eric calmly walked over to a small chest, pulled a key from his pocket, and opened the chest. Inside, was a small pistol. Eric took the pistol, cocked it, and walked over to the doll, whose stare had followed him from the chair. “Well… Pinkie… my name is Eric, and I’m going to get rid of you.”
There was a ridiculous gasp and Eric could have sworn he saw the doll shudder. “You wouldn’t dare! It wouldn’t just hurt me. It’d hurt Donna, Anna, and James, too. They’re my friends, and I don’t want to see my friends get hurt.”
Eric cocked the gun again and pointed it at the Pinkie doll.
“Please, no…” the doll whimpered.
“You have feelings! No doll can have feelings. This must be a prank, or a trick, or a ruse!”
“But Mister Eric, you’re too far wound tight for me to play a prank on. Anything like that would simply upset you. I don’t play pranks on Fluttershy because she’s too timid. And I haven’t played a prank on the mayor because she doesn’t like that sort of thing. You’re the same way.”
Eric dropped his gun. He stumbled to pick it back up and put it away before turning around and finding the Pinkie Pie doll was gone. There was only a high-pitched laughter. Eric followed the laughter through the house to see that the doll was back inside James’ bed. Unsure of what else to do, Eric turned off all the lights through the house and went to bed.
- - - -
The next morning, Eric awoke to find Donna awake bright and early in the kitchen making breakfast as she usually did.
“Bacon and eggs this morning?” Eric asked.
“Turkey bacon and egg whites, to be precise,” Donna replied. “Part of a healthy diet thing going around lately. You’re certainly up earlier than usual.”
“I’m taking the day off today,” Eric replied. “I wanted to get some housework done.”
“Oh,” Donna said. “Well…”
“Is there something the matter?”
“Well, the lawns need mowed and the windows to the backyard need fixing, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure thing, darling.”
Eric was served his plate of food along with a cup of coffee as Anna and James came into the room. “Daddy, daddy!” they said. “Aren’t you going to work today?”
“Nope,” Eric said. “I’m going to stay at home and get some housework done.”
“Oh, oh!” the children said. “Mommy, can we stay at home and help daddy?”
“No, Anna and James, you have to go to school today. Maybe if there’s anything on Saturday you can help daddy out then.”
“Yay! And maybe Pinkie Pie could help us. Don’t you think Pinkie could help us, daddy?”
“I AM NOT YOUR DADDY!” Eric roared.
Anna stared at him in shock. James started to cry. Donna quickly shooed the kids out of the room to get ready for school before coming back in to the kitchen.
“Look what you’ve done to your children!” Donna said.
“They’re not my children!” Eric said.
“Well, you don’t need to be so bitter about it. Listen to me: I expect not one more word of hate towards that doll and I certainly don’t want you to hurt Anna and James’ feelings like that again. If you do, I… I… ugh!” With that, Donna stormed out of the room.
Eric could only watch as his wife left the room. He said nothing more the rest of the morning, retiring to his garage until his wife and children left the house altogether, preparing a small hatchet by sharpening it on a whetstone.
When he was sure that Donna and the kids had left, Eric left the garage and went up to the bedroom to find the Pinkie Pie doll still resting in James’ bed. Eric picked up the doll and went downstairs to the garage, taking the doll with him.
“Please, no…” the doll whimpered.
Eric ignored the doll’s pleas. Going downstairs, he placed the doll in the garage in front of the lawnmower, which he fired up. He pushed the lawnmower towards the doll but before it could get close enough for the blades to do any damage, the motor sputtered and fell out.
“Wow,” the Pinkie doll said. “Someone looks like they need a party.”
“You know what sort of party you’re going to need?” Eric challenged. “A funeral.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure…” Pinkie replied. “My name is Pinkamina Diane Pie, and you can’t kill me.”
Eric grabbed his hammer and started pounding the doll furiously. To his surprise, the Pinkie Pie doll started laughing uproariously at him as though he was merely tickling him.
“If you are a doll,” Eric said, “I can at least silence you.”
“I’m not a doll!” Pinkie said as Eric picked up the doll, noting the duller color of the pink fur ad the rougher texture. “I’m a pony.”
Eric flipped the doll around to see the battery case and opened it up to find… nothing was in there.
“Told you.”
Eric looked at the doll and noticed the mane and tail were completely straight instead of the originally poofy design. The doll slowly turned its head towards Eric and spoke slowly and more maniacally than he had ever heard it.
“My name is Pinkamina Diane Pie, and I am going to kill you.”
“Oh, yeah?” Eric said. “We’ll see who kills who first!” And he ran out of the room, leaving the doll on the floor of the garage.
The first place Eric ran was the small chest in the living room. Eric quickly took out his key and unlocked the chest, pulling out the pistol and cocking it as he returned to the garage.
When he returned to the garage, the doll wasn’t there anymore. Eric began walking around the house, beginning in the living room, listening to the doll’s taunts.
“You didn’t share… you didn’t care…”
“Giggle at the ghostie, guffaw at the grossly…”
“First you take a cup of flower, add it to the mix. Then you take a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of skin, just a pinch. Baking these treats is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla. Add a little blood and you count to four and you never get your fill-a. Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty; cupcakes, don’t be too hasty; cupcakes. Cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes!”
By now, Eric was double checking the children’s room, gun pointed ahead of him in case he were to find the doll. His intention: load as many bullet holes as he could before the doll could move again, then to take it to the dump. It would be gone and no one would suspect a thing.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” Eric called as he headed for the stairs back down.
Then, he kicked something. But whatever he kicked didn’t budge. Eric, however, tripped and started falling down the stairs. Eric rolled and bumped and skidded down the stairs, feeling a crack in his legs, his arm, his back, and his neck. At the bottom of the stairs, the last thing that Eric saw was the Pinkie Pie doll, giggling madly.
Soon, there was a rumbling of a motor in the driveway. Donna stepped out of the car, explaining a longer than usual lunch break as a chance to check on her husband, whose condition she was afraid for. She came home to find the lawns still as rough as they were before she left.
Donna walked up to the door and knocked on it. “Eric?”
No one answered.
Donna unlocked the door and found the lifeless body of her husband lying at the foot of the steps. She gasped and went over to him, listening desperately for any signs of life from him. When Donna was sure that there was no life left in him, she broke down and began crying; he might have been mean towards her own kids, but Donna still loved him.
It was then that Donna noticed the Pinkie Pie doll lying next to her husband, as bright and poofy-haired as ever. Donna picked up the doll and gave it a looked over; the batteries were out, but otherwise it was still in good condition. The fur was quite soft and the eyes were staring at her bright and happy as though nothing had ever happened. Halfheartedly, Donna squeezed the front hoof of the doll.
“Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie, and I want to be your friend. Do you want to be my friend?”
Donna felt herself starting to cry, but she wasn’t sure if it was out of sadness… or joy. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, Pinkie. I want to be your friend.”