//------------------------------// // 40 - Catharsis, Part 6 of 15 // Story: The Last Cutie Mark Crusader // by Jatheus //------------------------------// Scootaloo, horrified by the vicious verbal attack she had endured, walked until she was outside, but before she knew it, she was galloping through town, her mind numb as it processed what had just unfolded. The darkness of night was a small comfort for the heavy weight that pressed her spirit lower with each step. By the time she reached the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, hot tears were running down her face. The light from the farm house let her know that somepony was still awake. She didn’t want to see any of them, not yet, let alone be seen herself. Changing corse in favor of the nearby barn, she unlatched and pushed through the the large rough wooden doors. She didn’t bother to pull them shut, but took a few steps inside before sinking to the the ground. A great deal of guilt overwhelmed her senses. It came in waves, each one larger than the last, and it was pummeling her spirit, reducing her to the crying heap she had become. The warrior she had been might have had a defense against such emotions, but she had cast that aside already and had to find other means of coping. Scootaloo knew that she wasn’t directly responsible for Cloud Blazer’s physical injuries. She didn’t ask him to bring up the rear. He had made that choice on his own. As for the other... There was no arguing the point; she had hurt him deeply by the things she had done. She had compounded that injury exponentially by ignoring him for several months. She didn’t care whose fault what was. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she had inflicted a hurt so deep that she was unable to fix it. The mare scolded herself for being so cruel. Being afraid or uncomfortable was a poor excuse to hurt a friend, especially the way she had. The barn door creaked open; Scootaloo didn’t look back. Approaching hoof steps told her that somepony was there. They came to rest in front of her. When Scootaloo looked up, it was the silhouettes of Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle that her eyes registered in the darkness. Her vision was blurry as she held them in her gaze for a moment, tears running freely still. A fresh wave of shame took her, and she lowered her head again. Without saying a word, the other two sat down on either side of their friend. Each placed a hoof against her back. Time lost meaning, and the three of them stayed that way for what seemed like hours. The unicorn and earth pony eventually laid down, embracing the pegasus between them. The three friends cried together until the tears were all spent. She knew it wouldn’t do any good, but the pegasus hated herself for letting things get so out of hoof. Cloud Blazer was right. He had been so vulnerable, and she abandoned him when he needed her most. How could she expect to be forgiven for that? The closeness of her other friends was a comfort, but in time their shared heat became stifling. Scootaloo eventually stirred, prompting the others to give her a little space. Her head was pounding and her body felt sapped of strength. They all sat upright in the darkness of the barn, barely able to see each other’s outlines against the moonlight that came through the gaps of the slats that made the walls. "I’m sorry," Scootaloo croaked. A dim magical blue-green light began to emanate from Sweetie Belle’s horn, revealing the three sad faces to each other. "I’m the one who should be sorry," Apple Bloom countered. "I shouldn’t have pushed you to go talk to Cloud Blazer like that." Scootaloo was not surprised that they had guessed by her state what had happened. She shook her head. "No, you were right. I had to. It had already been far too long. He just got so angry." "So, what now?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Is there anything we can do to fix this?" Fresh tears burned their way down Scootaloo’s face. "No," the pegasus replied. "It’s too late. I went to apologize to him, and he just threw everything bad that has happened to him in my face. I can’t take any of it back; I can’t make him fly again. I broke everything. There’s nothing we can do." "I bet Granny Smith would have had something really helpful to say about now," Apple Bloom said solemnly. "Yeah," Scootaloo agreed. "I wish she were here; I’d like to hear it." "Do you want us to talk to Cloud Blazer for you?" Sweetie Belle offered. Scootaloo shook her head again and quickly replied, "No, please don’t! There’s no reason to make him mad at either of you guys." "It wouldn’t help nothing anyways," Apple Bloom agreed. The door creaked and a voice said, "I’m inclined to agree." The three turned, and Scootaloo thought she’d seen a ghost. Sparklefly entered the barn. Scootaloo’s blood ran cold while her mind played the trick on her. The mare that approached was a much older pegasus. The colored light from Sweetie Belle’s horn had distorted the appearance a little, but it was soon apparent that it was Twinklestar, her friend’s mother. Deep lines of worry and sorrow were etched in her face, as was evidence of recently shed tears. “It is ea…” Twinklestar’s voice caught, and she cleared her throat. "It is easier to take a fortified city than to win back an offended friend.” Fresh tears came to Scootaloo’s eyes as she stood. She knew what she had to do now. She had to deliver news of Sparklefly’s death. Her heart shriveled. She wasn’t ready for this, but what choice was there? Twinklestar put up a hoof, silencing the words that had been forming in Scootaloo’s mind. "I know," she said as fresh emotions began to fall. "My son returned. He told me." "Duster," Scootaloo said to herself. The other two friends looked a little confused, but they had likely guessed the truth of the matter. Turning to them, Scootaloo simply said, "Sparklefly didn’t make it." Another wave of grief hit the young pegasus, and she sat down again. Voicing the truth had brought the moment back. She could see her friend growing cold as she held her in those final moments. "I apologize for eavesdropping," Twinklestar said, a shiver in her voice. "I had meant to be alone right now. I almost went elsewhere when I realized you three were in here, but then I heard you talking." Scootaloo shook her head, "No, thank you. I..." There were too many varied emotions in play for her to form her thoughts easily. "Please stay," she finally managed. Twinklestar nodded and approached closer to the group. "I guess I feel a little silly," Scootaloo said, almost vacantly. "Several of my friends have died already, and I’m sad about one that is still alive." "Not at all," Twinklestar said with what passed for a smile. "Death is final. Where there is life, there is still hope. Anytime hope is crushed, it tends to make one heartsick." The look on the older mare’s face seemed to have a question that grew closer and closer to being spoken. "I have something to ask of you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to after tonight... I may not have the heart to do so. Duster is unable to speak, but he had indicated... were you with my daughter when she died?" Now it was Scootaloo who had fresh tears coming. "I was with her," she replied, her voice sounding hollow in her own ears. "Tell me, please,” the older mare said with a hardening expression. “I want to know.” Scootaloo took a breath, steeling herself against reliving the moment. "I was on combat air patrol. The changelings had disbursed the timberwolf horde, and most of our pegasi were drawing them back to us. It was a ruse, and they hit our ground force while we were thinned out. They had tunneled underneath our position and hit the center. There just weren’t enough of us to cover everywhere at once, and soon the entire Assault Corps was fighting for their lives. The command center was hit in the second wave, and I returned there as soon as I could." Scootaloo swallowed; she was becoming incredibly thirsty, "All of the commanders and aids... most of them were dead. When I found Sparklefly, she was still alive; she had fired a flare, which is what brought me back. Her wounds... I knew they were fatal when I saw. I was helpless. I held her," the raw emotion made Scootaloo’s voice crack. "I held her until she didn’t know who I was anymore. She thought I was you." Twinklestar’s reaction, rife with overwhelming sorrow, made Scootaloo stop, but the older mare seemed to beckon her to continue. She took another breath, "She asked me... asked you to not be angry, that she hadn’t done it. I held her tightly, and she thanked you. I was with her until... until it was over." Twinklestar reached out, pulling Scootaloo close. The young mare wasn’t sure how to react to this. "Thank you," the older mare said. "Thank you for being with her so she didn’t have to be alone." The unicorn and earth pony also embraced the two pegasi, and the four of them sat huddled in the dimly lit barn for a time. Scootaloo, although somewhat unburdened in a way, had used all of her strength in the release of heavy emotions. When the time came, she found sleep easy to achieve.