//------------------------------// // We Fixed Our World // Story: Let's Just Live // by Psyga315 //------------------------------// For the first time, you’ve been able to look at the butterfly patterns on the soccer players’ shorts and did not feel any bit of sadness. You were instead smiling. This was progress. What might have helped was the plush pony you were given by Rarity. Your snuggle with it helped relieve a lot of tension in your body, though calling the plushy “Fluttershy” felt awkward. You’ve shortened it to “Flutters” instead. You waved Angel Wings over as you saw her with Rainbow Dash. She jogged to you and waved back. “Hey, Anon! You’re feeling better!” She said. “Yeah. Excited for the dance tomorrow?” You asked her. She nodded. “Yeah! Oh! Um… Are we gonna be holding hands?” She asked you. “Of course!” You said without any hesitation. “That’s good.” She blushed. Her eyes then turned to Rainbow Dash as she kicked a soccer ball with such force that you heard where her shoe connected with the rubber. The ball catapulted right into the goal. “Y-you think she’s upset?” Angel Wings asked. “No… Why do you think that?” “That girl they dedicated this season to, Fluttershy… I’ve been keeping up with the team since I moved, and I couldn’t help but notice Rainbow Dash tear up during her dedication speech.” She said. You felt a little upset with this, but you struggled to talk normally. “Yeah, she and Rainbow go way back.” Your voice sounded wistful, removed of any happiness you had. “No. It’s… more than just that.” She pointed to Rainbow Dash. “Watch, carefully…” You saw Rainbow Dash run to the ball and kicked it. WHAM! The ball flew even higher and hit the top bar. Rainbow Dash gave a pained grunt as she leaped in the air and kicked over her head, propelling the ball right into the goal. “She’s putting a lot of force into her kicks, way more than a supposed soccer pro would put.” Angel Wings said. “Well, she’s…” You tried to say, ‘upset at losing Fluttershy’, but you soon realized the implications of that. Rainbow Dash had seemingly moved on from her death, much faster than you, which was weird considering how Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were childhood friends. You chalked it up to the fact that you loved Fluttershy and thus you were hurt the most, but even so, you only knew Fluttershy for four years whereas Rainbow Dash knew her for at least thrice that. The fact that tomorrow was the day of the Valentine’s Day dance, the first one since Fluttershy passed, had you realize there’s more to this story. “I’ll talk with her.” You got up and walked over to Rainbow Dash. “Hey! Dash! When you’re done, can we talk?” You asked. “Yeah, yeah…” She scoffed. Huh, she’s pretty crabby, you thought. You walked back to Angel Wings. “Don’t worry, I’ll help her out.” You said. “Please do… She’s my favorite player in the entire city.” Angel Wings then blushed as she said that. She was so adorable that you blushed as well. You waited for Dash outside the girl’s locker room. Your happiness had drained drastically, and you trembled in anticipation. You knew the conversation with Dash will end in tears, but you weren’t sure who’d be shedding the most. The door slammed open as Rainbow Dash looked at you. “What’s up?” She asked. “Hey… So, I got a date for the Valentine’s Day dance.” You said. “H-huh!?” Rainbow Dash blinked. “Yeah. You know that new player, Angel Wings?” “No way!” Rainbow Dash smiled, which only left you a little confused. You were prepared to cry, but instead, you cracked a smile. “Yeah way! Well, I asked her out-” “You what!?” There was a brief pause as Rainbow’s eyes widened. You hesitated, thinking you did something wrong, but Rainbow Dash just playfully punched your arm. “That’s great! Here we were, worried you’d come to the dance without one, and you managed to snag yourself a cutie! I’m proud of you.” You bit your lip. As much as it’s nice to feel happy, you must address the elephant in the room. “And you?” You said. “Oh, yeah, well,” her eyes shifted a bit, “I’m gonna be running the guest list so I’m not gonna be dancing all that much.” That would have been the end of the conversation. You’d leave Rainbow Dash and go about your day carefree. But you must probe. “So, you don’t have anyone for the dance?” “…” She sighed. “Nah, but why would it matter? Only Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight have their dates arranged. Pinkie and I are gonna solo this one out.” “Oh! Yeah! Pinkie! Well, you could have her for the dance if push comes to shove.” You said. “Yeeeeaaaah, but I don’t consider Pinkie to be a very close friend. Well, not the kind of friend I’d want to go dating… Oh! Speaking of, I should let Pinkie know that she doesn’t have to date you anymore.” She then took out her phone. “W-wait, what?!” You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. We discussed arranging you a date with Pinkie for the dance, but now that you’ve asked Angel Wings out, that won’t be necessary.” Rainbow Dash texted to Pinkie. “… You… were gonna set me up with Pinkie?” You asked. It now made sense why Pinkie had recently begun to visit you. “Nah, we’d originally have Twilight do it, but Pinkie volunteered as soon as we suggested it.” Rainbow Dash said. And that explained her hesitance around Twilight. “No. You’re missing my point. You wanted me to date someone else?” You then began to glare. Rainbow Dash just sighed and put away her phone. “Yes. We were worried about you. This is the first Valentine’s Day since-” “I know damn well what it is!” You stomped your foot. Rainbow Dash just looked at you. “No, see, that’s why we decided to try and hook you up with someone. You can’t even talk about the dance without being angry about it. Well, how do you suppose I feel!?” Rainbow Dash shouted back so loudly, you froze. You began to think about what she said when you first broke down about Fluttershy after her funeral. “I know it might be a shock, but I think I took the news harder than you did. I mean, you just shut down. I, on the other hand, couldn’t go one conversation without getting angry for a couple of days.” “You loved Fluttershy…” You said. It took a moment for those three words to impact both of you, though the first sign of that impact was Rainbow Dash shedding a few tears. “Yeah… I was always jealous of the way she looked at you. I wanted her to look at me that same way,” she smiled a bit as she blushed, “but she wasn’t into girls and just saw me as her childhood friend.” “… I’m sorry.” You said. Rainbow Dash just shook her head. “When she died, I had to bottle it up because you were having it worse apparently. Oh, woe is me! You lost your girlfriend! NEWS FLASH, YA DINGUS! Before she was your close friend, she was mine! It’s… It’s not fair. I should be more upset than you, but no! I’m not allowed to be upset because we’re busy helping you not get upset!” As she said that, you trembled and began to cry. “See? You’re getting upset now over what I said!” She glared at you. “I can’t say anything about Fluttershy around you without you starting the water works! You’re like a freaking minefield!” You decided to turn tail and rush off. “YEAH! RUN, YOU FREAKING WUSS!” After that, you heard her wail. You ran as far as you could from the school grounds, stopping only short at the road where the bus would come. You saw the speedbumps, how their black tar-like substance stood out from the gray road, their bright yellow plastic Lego-like bumps a contrast to the fading yellow segmented lines on the road. This road was the constant reminder of what you lost and now, a reminder of what Rainbow Dash lost and how she is unable to cope with it. It’s all your fault. Because you can’t focus on anything without crying about Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash had to suck it up and make you comfortable. Applejack had to force you into crying to even acknowledge you had a problem. Rarity had to waste time and money into making a stuffed animal just so you’d feel better. Pinkie had to date you because she worried you’d move onto Twilight. Twilight had to get her shrink involved just to keep your sanity intact. Everyone had to bend over backwards just to please and satisfy you. You’ve robbed them of their happiness just so that you can try to move on from Fluttershy. However, you just kept going to the same point. You lost Fluttershy. There’s no fixing it. Your life was torn, tattered, and had every hope shattered. You were damaged. Far too damaged. You looked at the road. Counted the cars that passed by. One. Two. Three. Seems they come every fifteen seconds or so. You continued to count, but this time, you counted down. Ten… Your mom could rest easier without having to hear you have night terrors. Nine… Mrs. Harshwhinny would go about her teaching without having to scold you for sleeping in class. Eight… Dr. Glimmer wouldn’t need to trouble herself with you. Seven… Twilight Sparkle can get her sessions in without having to piggy back off yours. Six… Applejack won’t have to pretend to be happy. Five… Rainbow Dash can grieve properly. Four… Pinkie Pie would be able to date Twilight Sparkle without having to worry. Three… Rarity can spend her money on the things she needs. You saw a car ready to pass… Two… Sunset Shimmer wouldn’t have to arrange anymore interventions. You put one foot closer to the edge of the road… One… You’ll finally be with Fluttershy. VROOOOM! You fell onto the grass as you heard the car speed by. You felt restrained as somebody was behind you. “WHAT THE FUCK, ANON!?” Sunset Shimmer shouted. Your body became hollow, like you were looking through the empty shell of a man, as you mentally asked yourself that same question. You moved your head, looking onto the road where you saw the cars pass by. You trembled and began to realize what you had tried to do. You struggled not to break down into tears, especially after what Rainbow Dash said to you, but you couldn’t. For a brief moment in your life, you tried to kill yourself. For a brief moment, you were convinced that what you were doing would benefit everyone. That you did not matter. That everything would be much better when you’re gone. But you knew deep down this was all far from the truth. And you hated yourself for thinking otherwise. You burst into tears as Sunset just held you. “I’m sorry! I’m an idiot! I hate myself! I want to die!” You cried out. “No. You’re wrong.” Sunset took the time to stroke your hair, which helped calm you down significantly. “I… I’m just a burden.” You said. “You’re not. You’re a very good friend.” She replied. “No! You hate me! Everyone hates me! I just drag everyone down!” “We don’t hate you-” “Rainbow Dash hates me! She’s not allowed to mourn for Fluttershy because of me!” “Anon, we’re going through this in our own ways. Some of us have moved on, but others like Rainbow Dash and you… Well, not every wound heals in time…” Sunset paused a bit. “There was a time where I was still traumatized after the Anon-A-Miss incident. I began to think that my friends were only pretending to be friends with me, worried that I’ll accidently upset another student and lead them on some quest to destroy me or my reputation, and afraid to even go to school. One night at my home, when the weather was very cold, I just decided to go out in my pajamas and just… sit in the cold. I shivered, but I stayed, convincing myself that everyone would be better if I would freeze in the cold,” Sunset looked down and frowned, “Fluttershy found me not too long after I blacked out. She was walking one of the dogs at the clinic. Had she been a minute or two later, I would have…” Sunset cried. You couldn’t find any sort of words to say to her. At the very least, you now knew why Sunset was sick with pneumonia when you came back from your vacation. You instead held her as she cried. Eventually, she stopped. “I know exactly what you’re going through after that intervention, thinking that your friends will attack you the moment you step out of line, but we’re only trying to help you.” Sunset said. “At the expense of your happiness.” You said. “We’re mourning in our own way. For instance,” she smiled, “opening up to you about my own attempt has helped me appreciate Fluttershy more. In a way, it helps me mourn. Rarity was able to find closure in Fluttershy’s death by making that plush pony for you and Twilight was able to talk more freely about Fluttershy after your visit with Dr. Glimmer. Pinkie Pie and Applejack had already moved on and are trying to help you...” “And Rainbow Dash?” With that, Sunset frowned. “She’s probably the only other person who hasn’t moved on. She might sound like she’s accepted her death, but really, she’s still as upset as you are. She’s just better at hiding it.” She said. You then shook your head and struggled to get up. “Then… I… I need to help her.” You said. Sunset just looked at you and blinked. “How?” Sunset asked. You looked back to the road and remembered the crowd surrounding the site of Fluttershy’s death. The paramedics carrying away her body as the man who ran her over had cuffs slammed on his wrists. You then remembered what Applejack said about how Big Mac and her struggled with moving on from their parents’ death and how they managed to fix that. Soon, more memories swirled in your head. The nightmare of Pinkie dying, your panic attack when crossing the road with Applejack, your constant breaking down into tears, and just now, your attempt. With all those memories swirling in your head, you realized what must be done in order to heal the damage in your life. “… I need to move on from Fluttershy’s death and help her do the same.”