Insomnia and Tech Solutions
“Don, Wake up, Don!” Derpy shouted while jumping on his head.
“No, I woke up early yesterday, go back to sleep.” he groaned while turning over and making a cocoon out of his blanket.
“But, I’m not sleepy anymore, plus I always wake up early since I’m a mail-mare!” she said.
“Of all the beings that I could’ve been stuck with, it had to be the one that would wake up early… I need a vacation.”
He felt her trying to roll him over, “Wake up, and I’m hungry too!”
He let out a growl, “Fine, I’ll get up. I never liked Sundays, so I might as well not like them even more!”
“That’s the spirit!”
-
He lazily went to the kitchen, where he noticed his parents were there eating.
“Well, aren’t you up early?” His mom said.
His dad looked up from the paper, “You’re up early? On a Sunday? Who are you and what have you done with our son?”
Don gave a glare, “Very funny, dad.” He said as he walked over to the fridge and took out assorted fruits.
His mom gave him a quizzical look, “And you’re having breakfast with fruit as the main course? Seriously, who are you?”
Don sighed, “Everyone’s a comedian…”
He retreated back to his room with the plate of fruit. “Here, eat up.” He said still somewhat asleep.
He dropped the plate unceremoniously on his desk which Derpy promptly began digging into. While she was preoccupied with eating, it was his chance to get back into bed.
He slowly crawled back under the covers and sealed himself under the blanket as some sort of shield from disturbance. He laid there for five minutes before sleep started to set in and was in the limbo of consciousness when he felt something near him. He opened his eyes and was face to face with Derpy.
“You can’t go to bed yet, it’s time to wake up!”
He flung himself out of the bed. “How did you get in there?! I was perfectly sealed- No, no, I don’t wanna know. The last thing I need in the morning is a complicated answer.”
He looked at her as was met with her hovering in the air while shrugging.
“Or an answer like that.” He said flatly while pinching the bridge of his nose.
-
“So, what are we doing today?” Derpy asked jumping up and down on his shoulder.
“I dunno, I don’t usually plan Sundays.” He said.
“Although taking a sedative doesn’t sound too bad right about now.”
The two stepped outside where they were greeted by one of the neighborhood dogs.
“Hey Jasper,” He said while kneeling down and petting the dog, “Did you break out of your yard again?”
The canine wagged its tail in response before looking up at the human only to cock its head and keep its attention on Don’s shoulder and letting out a bark.
“What are you barking at boy?” He asked while looking around. He couldn’t really see anything save for maybe a cat, but for the most part nothing. His attention finally set on Derpy before a thought came to him.
“Derpy, could you fly on top of my head for me?” He asked.
“Why, Don?” She asked a little bit confused.
“I’m just trying something out.” He said.
“Okay, then.”
Derpy took flight and perched herself on top of his head. All the while, he looked at the dog and noticed that he followed her every movement and watched her carefully. He had her do a couple of more fly-by’s just to confirm his suspicions.
“Interesting…” he mused.
“What? What’s so interesting?” She asked landing on her usual spot.
“It seems that Jasper can see you.” He looked around and noticed that the cat he had seen earlier was staring as well.
“Why’s that?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but it’s a little myth or legend that animals can see the unseen. Y’know, stuff like ghosts or death-“ He stopped.
“Are you SURE that I’m not dead? Because this is starting to sound like the afterlife’s slowest crossover ever.” He said while turning to Derpy.
“Don!” his mom called from the door, “Can you go into town for me and pick up a couple of things? No rush, just as long as you get the things I need?”
He mulled over the request for a moment, “Perhaps, but-“
“I’ll thrown in some cash too for your trip.”
Not needing anymore persuasion, he got up. “Okay, just tell me where to go and what to get.”
-
The two pulled into the parking lot and began to get out.
“Where are we Don?” Derpy asked flying a little higher than normal to get a better view of the area.
“We’re at the mall, or to make it sound more rustic, an indoor bazaar.” He replied.
They headed inside and were greeted with a low level of noise.
“I thought there would be more humans here.” She said looking around.
“Well, that’s because SOMEBODY woke me up early today,” He said.
“I’m not a ‘somebody’, I’m a ‘somepony’.” She argued back.
“Somepony? I’m not arguing over vernacular-“ he started saying before he noticed a couple of people were staring at him.
“Mommy, what’s wrong with that man?” a child asked.
“Don’t stare dear, it’s impolite, plus it’s very obvious that he is challenged in some way.”
Don quickly left the scene and headed down one avenue of the mall.
“Okay, this crazy stuff ends today, I need to find a way to talk to you without making it look like I’m insane.” He said while sitting down on a bench.
They sat idly watching people walk by, while he brainstormed on how to remedy his current situation. He was just about to give up when someone passed by that was talking on their phone.
“Huh… cell phone. I could make it look like I’m talking on a cell phone. But how…”
He turned the gears in his head for a while before coming up with an idea.
“I got it!” He said while standing up.
“Got what, Don?” she asked.
“Let’s go, I’m about to make myself a little less crazy.”
“I Doubt it…”
-
“Here we are.” He said while in front of a store.
“What kind of place is this?” She asked.
“An electronics store. Where people buy gizmos they don’t need or parts used to blow up stuff probably, I dunno.”
They walked inside and began to browse the ear pieces for cell phones.
“Oh yeah,” he said in a whisper, “feel free to look around the store, just don’t break anything.”
She gave a small salute and flew off to view the different devices in the store.
He browsed around a bit before his reconnaissance was interrupted.
“Do you need any help, Sir?”
He looked up, “We meet again Salesman…”
“Uh, yeah, I was actually looking for a blue-tooth headset, one that’s pretty good quality, but on the cheaper side.” Don said.
The salesman nodded and started with an explanation on the different brands and the qualities of each.
“Oh my gosh, stop pushing all the products and give me a satisfactory headset, its not like I’m REALLY gonna use it… oh he’s asking me something, back to the talking…”
“So, what kind of phone do you have?” the employee asked.
“Huh? Oh, uh, this one.” Don said while holding out his phone.
“Uh, can you even get blue-tooth on that thing?”
Don looked at his phone, it wasn’t exactly old, but it wasn’t new either. Considering it was a bar phone and not a flip phone or one of those phones with the keyboard build into it, he could only give a guess.
“Uh, I think so?”
-
Derpy flew around looking at all the different devices in the store. She watched a couple tv’s as they played sports clips. She found it interesting the way humans played sports, most of it being rough and contact. She couldn’t help but notice that one sport they played reminded her of Hoofball. Without another thought, she moved onto the other devices and eventually came to the laptops. She looked one over, and found all sorts of different icons, buttons, and colors displayed all over the screen just like the one she saw when she was at Don’s school. She crawled onto the computer and pushed a button; nothing. She continued to press buttons until the computer let out a “beep”. Thinking that she did something, she continued to press on to make the confounded machine work.
-
Don continued to listen to the employee drabble on and on about the different ear pieces trying to find an opportunity to end the conversation so he could make his own decision.
“Geez, this guy has been talking for what, ten minutes now? Somebody’s working for a raise, or to move up the corporate ladder.”
It was about a minute later when he found his opportunity to interject.
“Well, they all sound good, I’ll just keep browsing then.” He said.
“Alright then, if you have anymore questions just feel free to ask.”
“Sure, thanks” Don said while breathing out a sigh of relief.
-
Derpy decided to give up on trying to make the machines work. She had thought she got one to work when the screen suddenly changed to a blue one, but there were all sorts of words and numbers on there, and on top of that, the buttons weren’t responding anymore.
This happened with computer after computer till all of them had the same blue screen. With nothing else to do she flew back to where Don was.
“Have you decided what you’re gonna get?” she asked.
“Yeah, I think I’ve found something. All I need to do is pay.” He said while looking up.
Afterword, as the two sat on one of the benches, he began opening the plastic to the ear piece.
“Stupid boxes, it’s like they’re trying to keep me out or something.” He mumbled.
After about a minute he had freed the piece from its prison and put it on.
“Well, how does it look?” he asked looking at Derpy.
She rubbed her chin with her hoof for a few seconds before answering.
“You look stupid.”
“Thanks for the bit of confidence.” He said monotonously.
He was about to speak again when he heard voices from the store they were just in.
“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE COMPUTERS?!” someone shouted.
“What. Did. You. Do?!” he asked looking at her.
“I was just trying to use them, I just don’t know what went wrong.” She said while shrugging.
“I thought I told you not to break anything.” He said while running a hand over his face.
“I didn’t break them, they were still whole when I left!” she said.
“That’s not what I meant by break-never mind, at least now I have a viable way of talking to you without looking like I’m losing my mind.” He said as he got up to finish his errands for the day.
“At least look it anyway…”