//------------------------------// // Dazzling Debit Decimation // Story: Punchdrunk Promenade // by Chapter 17 //------------------------------// “Hrm…” The white coated, purple maned unicorn stallion’s eyes darted up and down the other stallion’s body, applying a well honed critical eye to the outfit he was wearing. … “Um-” “Tsst!” Elusive shushed, holding up a hoof for silence. Chappy complied, looking from him to Poppy and back, feeling doubly uncomfortable from the combination of the tuxedo and being the center of attention under quite the intense spotlight that the fashionista refused to work without. … “Dear… Poppy was it?” “Mhm!” she immediately replied, having already been fitted and still clad in the blue and green dress she would be wearing to the prom. “Stand over there next to him.” “Okay!” She trotted over next to her stallion, giving him a nudge to his side and looking over to him. “Relax, it’s just a fitting.” “Yeah well my usual state is no clothes and I’m suddenly in all the clothes.” “Upupup, quiet,” Elusive reminded them, looking over the couple. There was a long pause, and then he finally spoke up again. “Nope. That won’t do,” he said before the grey unicorn was held aloft by a blue aura that began stripping the tuxedo off of him. “Blue was a poor choice. Your stallion shouldn’t match the main color, he should match the accents. He can’t be a proper accessory to your outfit if his colors try to share center stage with you, darling.” “Guuuh why can’t I just take this off myself?” Chappy questioned as he moved his hooves to accommodate the removal of the tuxedo. “What, you can dish it out but can’t take it?” Poppy asked with a smirk upward at him, being able to recall numerous occasions when she’d been lifted off the ground by a certain stallion’s unicorn magic. Elusive answered with a soft chuckle. “I won’t ask what that comment was regarding, but is there anything you want done to him while he’s up there? Tickling perhaps?” “Don’t you dare,” Chappy replied, trying hard to look intimidating but utterly failing to do so while held helplessly three feet in the air. “Hehe, no, it’s fine. Let him down,” she relented. “Suit yourself,” Elusive shrugged, letting his fellow unicorn down after the last of the tuxedo had come off. He jotted down some notes, and tore the page from his notepad. “Subi, more work! Get this one done quickly! The clients are waiting, dear!” There came a galloping of hooves before a white coated, blonde maned unicorn mare with a red bow in her hair came out from the back looking a little flustered, clearly in the thick of it with all the demands coming from the prom. She gave her boss a quick nod, grabbed the note, and took off back into the work area. “Fortunately we don’t have to change much. A few snips, a few stitches, and we’ll be in business. Now for these,” Elusive said before Chappy’s glasses were levitated off his head, leaving him to blink a few times and squint as his insufficient vision was left to fend for itself again. “And what’s wrong with those?” he asked. “Sunglasses? Do I really need to explain sunglasses? The refuge of the perpetually insecure?” “They’re not sunglasses, they’re prescription transition lenses. They’re just normal glasses when they’re not getting hit with sunlight,” Chappy explained as though it made a difference, his hoof raising to try and grab them back unsuccessfully. “Still too big, and I’m a fashion designer, not an optometrist. I’m here to make you look good, not improve your ability to look,” Elusive replied as he took mercy on his client and replaced the currently green tinted glasses. “Still, I suppose it’s your date’s choice. Talk it over amongst yourselves whilst I busy myself with other matters until Subi gets back with those redone pieces,” he continued, excusing himself back to the workshop area and leaving the two love birds to discuss it. … “I really do like your eyes,” Poppy offered just as Chappy was about to replace his glasses. He responded with a pause followed by a sigh as the glasses closed and levitated over to the saddlebags they’d brought with them. “Fine. I guess I could wear my old glasses. They don’t work as well anymore, but they’re smaller, and I should be able to see alright with them. But we’re bringing the transition lenses as backup,” he replied, trying to at least be firm on some issue. “Unfortunately they aren't here to try on for-” “Bottom of the left back pocket,” Poppy interrupted, eyes diverted and her muzzle scrunched into a distinct ‘I did a thing’ expression. “…” His horn lit up again, opening the indicated compartment and withdrawing his old glasses. “Now how did that get in there?” “I have no idea,” Poppy answered, eyes diverting in another direction as her muzzle remained scrunched into a distinct ‘I actually do know a thing’ expression. Chappy levitated the glasses onto his muzzle then spent a minute squinting, letting his eyes adjust to the somewhat obsolete lenses. He could still see well enough to adequately function, but they had a small lack of definition that would serve as that classic little annoyance that slowly drives one batty. “So do you really dislike transition lenses? I’ve been using them for years and you haven’t made a peep.” “Only for formal events, they’re fine otherwise… though you could probably stand to get a pair more like your old ones for things like this,” she replied. “Are we going to be going to things like this often enough where I’d really need them?” “One would hope.” “…” “Is this really so bad for you? I mean I’m practically the only pony you talk to on a regular basis. You could really stand to get yourself out there more, and I’d like it if that was something we could do together.” “Hrm… you weren’t there for high school,” Chappy pointed out. “No, but what does that have to do with this?” she asked with a slightly raised eyebrow. “Remember how I seemed sociable enough by the end of eighth grade?” She nodded. “That was only because I’d started pretending to like the same stuff as everypony else. Suddenly it was all ‘oh, you listen to the right music now!’ or ‘hey you know about that popular book!’ and the herd as it were found me adequate. But that was a lie… I know better than to act superior just because of entertainment choices now, but I did for a fact personally think their music was stupid and their choice of books boring. I didn’t keep that up in high school. There came a point where I decided I’d rather not have a lot of friends instead of just acting a part in order to get a bunch of 'friends' that wouldn’t like me if they knew better. All this getting dressed up and acting classy feels like going back to when I was pretending,” he explained. She responded with a smile and an eye roll. “You’re thinking way too much into this. We’re just going to a formal event to have fun together for an evening, and formal events require formal wear. That’s it… oh, that reminds me!” She trotted back over to the saddlebag and pulled out a bottle labeled ‘Hair Gel’. “[What the hay is that?!” the stallion asked as though he’d never seen such devilry before. “Hold still,” Poppy ordered as she promptly squirted a dollop onto her hoof and then used it to slick his hair back. “Gah!” Gone were the unicorn’s bangs and barely kept mane, replaced with a slicked back black hairdo more becoming of a business pony. “Eeee! You look so handsome!” she squealed delightedly, trotting in place with glee. “I… guess?” he replied, looking upward at his sudden lack of bangs apprehensively. “This stuff feels weird.” “Alldonenicehairholdstill,” Elusive said quickly as he suddenly emerged and levitated Chappy into the air before assaulting him with fancy dress clothes. “Wait, already?” the grey unicorn asked in disbelief. “Darling I don’t keep Subi around just because she’s pretty, although it helps,” he answered with a smirk while finishing the ensemble, then ordered Poppy back into position with a motion of his head before setting her prom date down in full and proper attire. “Better now?” Poppy asked hopefully. Elusive took his time looking the couple over but finally smiled and gave an approving nod at his work. “Magnifique. I can now let you out of the boutique with confidence!” he answered while scribbling on another notepad, different than the first. “Yay!” she cheered. “Here’s the bill,” Elusive said as he presented Chappy with the total. … “This is… this is way more than I was expecting,” Chappy said as he examined the bill wide eyed. “I thought you were supposed to be generous!” “Yes well, please note that I accepted your order far after my usual cut off date, because your marefriend is quite the adept user of the big eyes,” he explained, motioning toward Poppy with his hoof. “It had to be quick, and my personal standards don’t allow anything less than fabulous, so I’m afraid cheap had to be ruled out. Perhaps next year you’ll plan ahead accordingly. I accept payment plans if that helps,” he offered. “No… might as well get this over with,” the grey unicorn replied with a blank stare toward the floor as his checkbook and pen floated out of his bag and over to them. “Oh my gosh this is going to be so fun, eeeeeeee!” Poppy squealed with excitement as she took to the air shortly before Elusive magically coaxed her down with an amused smile before she could knock anything over. “Fun… fun… remember fun… this is for fun,” Chappy assured himself as he forced the pen to keep writing a number he would rather it did not. But he would do well to remember that one’s money never made anypony happy while doing nothing in a bank. Interest aside, of course.