Early Risers and Wings
Don slept peacefully knowing that the comforting embrace of the weekend was here, which meant he didn’t have to wake up to any obligations. Or so he thought. He suddenly became aware of something in his slumber; he felt a rhythmic poking on his chest and soon enough, the rest of his senses were beginning to function. He faintly heard someone calling his name over and over again which only got louder as his mind was brought into focus.
“Don! Don! Wake up, Don!” Derpy called while jumping up and down on his chest.
She was only met with a groan and the human turned over. She hovered for a moment before landing on his upper arm.
“C’mon, Don! Wake up, it’s morning!”
Another groan, “It’s too early…” came a muffled reply.
“Early? It’s eight-thirty!”
“Too early.”
She thought for a moment on how to get him up before coming to an idea,
“But I’m hungry, and I already finished the muffin from yesterday!”
He instantly sat up, “What?! How is that even possible?!”
“I’m kidding, I didn’t finish it. I just wanted you to get up.”
“You’re losing your edge Don, you just got bested by a pegasus again. How does that make you feel?”
“It feels great Bob, just FANTASTIC. I’m going to Disney World after this too!”
“So, what are we gonna do today?” she asked.
He stared at her with a blank expression for a full minute before laying back down and turning over again. “Going to sleep, that’s what we’re doing.”
“You can’t sleep all day you know.” She said.
“Is that a challenge?”
She sighed, getting the human out of bed was going to be more difficult than she thought. She landed on his side again and began brainstorming for a new idea. She sat there rubbing her chin with her hoof before coming to a realization and flying off to the kitchen.
A moment later she returned and landed on his pillow. “Wakey wakey…” she said with a devious yet playful tone.
In one fell swoop she quickly slid a sizeable chunk of ice she had pilfered from the kitchen into Don’s shirt.
“OH WHAT THE FU-“ he screamed while flailing off his bed. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!”
She only smiled, “Now that you’re up, what’s there to eat?”
He ran a hand over his face, “I hate my life, and it’s not even nine yet…”
-
Derpy sat on the table happily eating more fruit and small pieces of toast. Don, on the other hand, sat hunched over the table staring blankly into the designs of the table cloth gripping onto a coffee mug as if his life depended on it.
“I just wanted to sleep in, is that so much to ask? And why did I get coffee? I hate coffee.”
“Yeah, weird…”
He had just finished pouring the black liquid in the sink when he heard his cell-phone ring. He quickly made his way back to his room and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey man, you gonna start watching the show with me today?” greeted the voice
He instantly recognized it, it was none other than Lewis.
“Lewis?! How did you get my phone number?!”
“Oh, I know a guy,” Lewis replied, “anyways, you should totally watch the show. Don’t miss out!” He said before hanging up.
“No, Lewis, wait-“ he sighed when he heard the call end tone.
“How did I end up knowing that guy?”
He was about to return to the kitchen when his phone rang again, “Hello?”
“Oh yeah, also a couple of us are meeting up later for Wing Night, you wanna come?” came Lewis’ voice again.
“Wing Night? Um, I dunno…” Don trailed.
“Relax man, you’ll fit right in, plus I already told the guys you’d be there.”
“What?! I haven’t even-“
“So anyways we’ll be meeting around seven. See you there.” Lewis said before ending the call.
“What….just happened?”
“Railroaded. What a negotiator.”
-
He shook his head and returned to the kitchen where he noticed Derpy staring up at the ceiling.
“What are you staring at-“ he stopped before noticing a piece of toast was stuck to the ceiling.
“How… Y’know, I’m pretty sure I don’t want know how.” He said rubbing his head.
“I just don’t know what happened.” She replied.
“Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t and we’re gonna keep it that way.”
-
The two sat on the living room sofa wondering what to do until evening.
“So, what are we gonna do today?” Derpy asked.
“I don’t know, I don’t have any money to go anywhere so, we’re just stuck here.”
At that moment Don’s dad came into the living room. “Oh good, you’re here, and since you’re not doing anything how’d you like to mow the lawn?”
Don kept a bored look on his face. “Seriously dad? Mow the lawn?”
His father sighed, “There’s a twenty in it for you if you do.”
“So, mowing the lawn huh? Sounds great.” Don said getting up.
“By way the way,” his dad called, “Who were you talking to?”
Don froze. “Um, talking to?” a bead of sweat began to run down his head.
“Yeah, I keep hearing you talk to someone but there’s nobody in your room and your phone is sitting away from you.”
Don scrambled for any excuse to give his dad. How would he describe that he was talking to a small flying horse that nobody but he could see? Next thing he knew he would be dragged away by people wearing white coats. No, that explanation wouldn’t end well, either that or his parents would assume he was on drugs, and he didn’t really want to spend some time in some kind of rehab.
“Oh, I was just trying out some…new thing…on the computer…” He stuttered.
“New thing?” his dad questioned.
“Yeah, talking over the internet and whatnot, just trying it out. Anyways gotta mow that grass.” Don finished and quickly left the room with Derpy in tow.
-
It wasn’t too warm outside, so mowing today wasn’t going to be as excruciating as he thought it was going to be. He rolled the push-mower out from a small shed and looked it over. It had certainly seen better days, but it still worked, at least he hoped it did.
Derpy on the other hand looked at the machine curiously, wondering what it would do. Don did say it was for cutting grass or something like that, but just how it would do that made her ever more inquisitive. She watched him screw open a cap and peer inside and nod to himself before screwing it back on. He then pushed a small button a couple of times before grabbing a rope and pulled on it with what appeared to be most of his strength.
The mower roared to life and caused her to cover her ears at the sheer volume of its engine. She quickly brought out a tiny pair of earmuffs and put them on. Satisfied that the noise was at a more tolerable level, she perched herself on his shoulder.
The task itself was rather mundane; as soon as he reached one end of the yard, he just turned around with the mower and went back in the opposite direction. She now understood why Don was a bit reluctant to do this.
Eventually the task was complete and the two sat on the patio outside.
“I forgot why I don’t really like mowing the lawn.” Don said.
“What?”
“I just said how I don’t like mowing the lawn.”
“What?”
He sighed, “I said-“ he stopped when he faced Derpy. He noticed the earmuffs she put on were still there, and gently pulled them off.
“There, is that better?”
She nodded.
He examined the earmuffs, “Wait, where did you get these- no, never mind. I don’t wanna know.” He said, handing them back to her.
“First things first though, I really could use a shower now.” He said while getting up. “And by the looks of it, so do you.”
She examined herself over and noticed she had pieces of grass sticking to her and her mane. “Yeah, I could use a bath too.”
-
As he finished his shower and was going to start getting Derpy’s bath ready, he wondered why she wouldn’t take a regular shower and insisted on a bubble bath, but then again, a shower at that size might be a bit painful he assumed. He chuckled a bit remembering the first time he had to get her bath.
-
“So where do I take a bath?” She asked.
“What? Bath?” He asked raising an eyebrow. “You take baths?”
She giggled, “Of course I do, I don’t want to go around being dirty.”
He sighed, and led her to the bathroom.
“Wow, you’ve got a huge washroom.” She said looking around.
“Yeah, I guess it is. Given your size.” He said eyeing the walls. “Well, here it is.” He motioned.
She looked at the humongous tub in front of her, “I don’t think this is safe for me, do you have anything smaller?” she asked.
“This is the only tub I have, not unless…” he trailed off and began to think. “Hold on, I might have an idea.”
He made his way into the kitchen and began going through the cupboards.
“C’mon, where is it…” he said to himself while pushing aside Tupperware, and other assorted dishes. After a few minutes of searching, he found what he was looking for; a large gravy boat.
“This ought to be big, well, small enough I hope.” He said as he made his way back to the bathroom.
A voice called out to him which made him stop dead in his tracks.
“Don, what are you doing with my gravy boat?” his mom called.
He went into panic mode and began to scramble for reasons.
“Um… I’m… making gravy?” he lamely finished.
“In the bathroom?” she asked, clearly not buying it.
“Okay, okay, I’m doing a project for class that involves hydrogen peroxide and…coins.”
She raised an eyebrow, “And you need a gravy boat…why?”
“For a controlled environment, duh, c’mon mom, get with the program.” He said.
“Controlled environment? Do you even know what you’re saying anymore?”
“Shut up, she’s buying it!”
“Well, I guess…”
He turned to head into the bathroom.
“Just be sure and clean it and put it back when you found it.”
He waved a hand, “Yeah, sure thing, got it mom.”
“I can’t believe that actually worked… good job team, high fives all around.”
-
Later that evening, Don was getting ready to head out with Lewis and whatever other crew was going to be there. He hoped it wasn’t going to be too crowded. He was a person of few words, and when there was a group, there were even less words to be said.
He walked into his room where Derpy called out to him. “Where are you going Don?”
“Oh, I’m gonna meet up with Lewis and some of the guys for Wing Night.” He said while putting his wallet in his pocket.
Her eyes lit up, “Wing Night?! I didn’t know you could fly!” she began to circle around him, “Where are your wings? How big are they? Are they the same color as your hair?”
He face-palmed, “No, you don’t understand, I don’t have wings, Wing Night means we’re going out to eat.”
She stopped flying, “What?”
“Wing Night. As in, we got to a restaurant and EAT wings.”
It was a full thirty seconds before she realized what he was saying.
“Y-you…eat…w-wings?” She asked while hugging herself and her wings.
“Yeah, that’s what Wing Night is.” He said casually as he put his phone in his pocket.
“MONSTER!” she yelled while grabbing a pen and throwing it at him.
“Oh, what the-“ he shouted dodging another pen.
“You’re a monster! How could you eat the wings off of a helpless…” she stopped midsentence and holding a battery, “What kind of wings do you all eat during Wing Night?” she asked.
“Buffalo Wings.” He said.
“Oh… How could you eat the wings off an innocent buffalo?!” she asked resuming her projectile assault.
“Hold on a minute!” he yelled. “we don’t eat buffalos! In fact, buffalos don’t even have wings. I don’t know why they call them that, but they just do, as for wings, they’re chicken wings, not anything else!”
Derpy still had an angry look about her, “You’re still a monster! Eating innocent animals like that, how could you?!”
He sighed, “Okay, how about this, I won’t eat anything animal related while we’re there.”
She looked at him dead in the eyes.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Do you Pinkie Promise?”
He sighed again, “Yes, I pinkie promise.” He said while holding out his pinkie finger.
She only looked at him with confusion, “What are you doing?”
He raised an eyebrow, “A pinkie promise, what else?”
She shook her head, “No, no, no, that’s not a Pinkie Promise.”
“What? How is that not a pinkie promise?” He asked, now thoroughly confused.
She huffed in frustration, “A Pinkie Promise is like this: ‘Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” she said while doing the motions. “See?”
He only had a blank expression on his face. “You want me to do that…?” he deadpanned.
She nodded.
He shook his head, “I can’t believe I’m gonna do this… Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye…happy?” he asked monotonously.
“How graceful.”
“Yes!” she said clapping her hooves together.
He rolled his eyes and looked at the clock, it read “six-forty”.
“Well, it’s time to go.” He said grabbing his keys.
-
The two arrived at the restaurant, and wondered if he should go in and see if he was the first one there. As the two got out and headed towards the entrance a peculiar aroma filled Derpy’s nose.
“What’s that smell?” she asked.
“It’s the smell of fried matter. When you’re hungry, it smells really good, when you’re full, it’s really gross.”
As the two entered the building, he scanned the room and noticed Lewis and a couple of the other guys sitting at a table in the center.
“Great, I was hoping he would’ve chosen a place off to the side where we’re less noticeable.”
Derpy, however, was amazed at the interior. There were large screens playing all sorts of various things. From what she could deduce, it was all sports by the looks of it. She wondered why such a place would have a fast-paced environment, after all, it would certainly affect the whole dining experience in a negative way wouldn’t it? Before she realized it, she had lagged considerably behind Don before she flew up to him and perched herself on her usual spot.
“Don, you made it!” Lewis greeted.
“Yeah, I made it.” Don replied and sat down across from the others. “This is the first time I’ve been out on a Saturday night in a while, it’s a nice change of pace.” He continued.
“Well, we’re glad to make your life more interesting.” Lewis said.
“Oh, you have no idea…”
-
As she sat on Don’s shoulder, Derpy looked around the room again and noticed a large box full of toys at the other end of the room. She took off and flew towards it and pressed up against the glass that encompassed it.
“So many toys… “she said to herself.
One of the things in particular struck her fancy; embedded in the middle is what appeared to be a cupcake plush toy, which could be debated that also looked like a muffin.
“I have to have you…” she said.
She quickly flew back to Don and hovered near his ear.
“Don,” she whispered, “How much is it to play that claw game over there?”
He looked out of the corner of his eye, “Twenty-five cents.”
“Do you have that?” she asked.
He fished around in his pocket before setting a quarter on this thigh. “Here.”
“Hey man, were you just talking to yourself?” Lewis asked.
“Uh, no, I was just running a few things in my head making sure I didn’t forget anything…like money.”
Lewis raised an eyebrow, “Relax man, if you forgot some cash, I got you.”
Derpy flew back to the machine holding onto the coin, which was lighter than a bit was back home, she noted, but quickly dismissed the notion. She inserted the coin in the slot and flew up to the control stick. Moving the claw about she positioned it over her prize and looked over the lay about between the two before she was satisfied of its position and pushed the red button on the stick. She watched the claw drop into the cluster of toys.
It dropped and embedded itself and stopped before retreating back but only moved her target upwards before dropping.
She gasped as she saw she almost had her prize, pressing herself up to the glass again, but was quickly disappointed when the stuffed cupcake-muffin amalgam fell back into the small sea of toys. Not to be deterred, she flew back to Don.
“Don, do you have another quarter?” she asked.
“No.”
She groaned and flew back to the game. She looked it over and noticed the prize door and pushed it open. As she went inside, she looked up and noticed that she had free access to the toy pit. At this point, there was nothing stopping her from getting what she wanted.
From Don’s point of view, he only saw the pegasus fly into the claw machine.
“Derpy, what are you doi- oh no…”
He continued to watch her fly about inside the machine and pick up what appeared to be a stuffed cupcake and drop it into the prize bin. He face-palmed at what he just witnessed which caught the attention of Lewis.
“Hey man, what’s up?”
Don looked up, “Oh, nothing, I just remembered that I forgot…uh…”
“You forgot about the show didn’t you?” Lewis asked.
Don stared for a full second. “…yeah, I don’t think that’s it…” he replied.
“You’re lucky I keep tabs on things like this, otherwise you might forget your own head.” Lewis said completely ignoring Don.
Don got up from the table after excusing himself and walked over to the claw machine.
“I really need to stop getting myself into these predicaments. This can’t be good for my health; both mental and physical.”
“Probably.”
He bent down and pushed open the prize door.
“Derpy, what are you doing?”
“Muffin!” she exclaimed holding plush toy over her head.
“Your love for muffins amuses and concerns me…more so the latter.”
-
The rest o the evening went rather smoothly for the most part. Derpy kept herself occupied with the toy she had liberated from the claw machine, while Don attempted to assimilate into the small group he was in. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything he had in common with the lot.
So, he did what he did best; listened and just nodded along as the group chatted away.Lewis would force his hand every now and then by including him in the conversation by asking him questions or piquing at his thoughts on something. To say the least, he was “in” with the group whether he liked it or not.
When the pair returned home later that night, he was greeted by his parents.
“So how was Wing Night?” His mom asked.
“It was alright, just hung out with the guys.” Don said as he made his way towards the hall.
“What’s that you got there?” his dad asked.
“Huh? Oh, this?” Don asked motioning at the plush toy, “It’s from the claw machine.”
“Wow, you won, lucky you.” His dad said.
“Yeah, won. Let’s go with that.”
His parents raised an eyebrow.
“Anyways, I’m heading to my room, I’m kinda beat.” He said quickly leaving.
“Yeah, lucky me…I’m just overloaded with luck. Why me? And it’s not even Sunday…”