//------------------------------//
// 022 - Of Vampires, Insanity, and Rarispies 
// Story: Songs of the Spheres 
// by GMBlackjack 
//------------------------------//

The arches deep within the AID base may not have been one-of-a-kind anymore – the Tau’ri, Binaries, and Equis Cosmic had invested in constructing their own – but there was something about these particular pointed spires surrounding a ring of stellar power that made them special. It was the first of their kind, and it would never lose that honor.

Corona preferred the way it sparked with purple electricity. The others didn’t do that, having managed to contain all their energy through connections in the floor. It made it far more impressive, not to mention intimidating. More than a few had thought the loose electricity was a safety hazard, but no matter what they did short of sticking something in the electricity, the shocks always went directly to the gate and not anyone looking to travel.

Even though it would be easy to keep the loose electricity under control, Director Storm never authorized the arches to be ‘upgraded’ by reason of ‘it’s just cool’. Corona agreed. Tempest didn’t, needless to say.

Sadly, she was not going through today. She was just here to watch as a military squad was sent to one of the Tau’ri’s offworld bases to provide ‘joint support’ in an effort to improve relations. Corona didn’t know the world they were going to, but it had to be simultaneously interesting and dangerous to require a military presence. So she was at least a little curious what would be on the other side.

The arches activated, sending electricity right into the gate. The gate swirled with blue light, dialing the custom nine-chevron command. The portal formed with the signature kawoosh, settling into a clear membrane within the gate. The scenery appeared to be that of an abandoned wild west town. A familiar face stood on the other side.

“Colonel Carter!” Corona waved.

“Agent Corona! Are you part of this outfit?”

Corona shook her head. “Sorry, these guys are coming, not me. I was just curious. I had no idea you were the one in charge of the base in… Wherever you are.”

“Esefem, one of the first worlds in the Directory. Surprised you don’t know about it. Have you read the Directory lately?”

As the soldiers filed through the portal, Corona rubbed the back of her head. “Er… No, not really.”

“You should read up on it. This world is much more complicated and bizarre than the Princess’ group first thought. Don’t have time to explain it myself though, we’ve got to head to the actual base. Your arches aren’t in the same location as the Mirror Portal, after all.”

“Right. I’ll look it up!”

Carter smiled, turning to the men “Okay men, there shouldn’t be any problems on the way to the base, it’s a short distance and we keep a decent perimeter around here, but be on your guard anyway…”

The arches closed, dropping the room into relative darkness. Corona walked to the elevator and rode back to the control center of AID. She went to the large table in the middle of the room that held a truly tremendous book. Corona was fondly reminded of the days the book had been smaller than a dictionary, with only a few sentences devoted to each world. Then Twilight had updated the Directory to allow insertion of other files, images, and alterations of the pages beyond scrawled markings. She thought this would let everything get more organized, but it only resulted in the information influx being a bit much. She was allegedly working closely with the ‘Cosmo’ Twilight to turn the Directory into a digital system, which Corona would be immensely thankful for when they succeeded.

But for now, it was a giant book.

She opened it to the first page. 000001, Equis Vitis, her world, the first recorded one. There were more than just paragraphs on this world, there were studies on important ponies, the nations beyond Equestria, and the history of its role in the multiverse. Corona was pretty sure the section devoted to Equis Vitis was larger than any of the others because all the humans who liked making large reports loved to examine places foreign to them, not to mention it had the ‘standard Equis’ section in it, telling any explorers what to expect from a normal pony world. The entry for her current world, 000002, Earth Vitis, was close to it in size with the ‘standard Earth’ section within. 000003, the Hub, was large as well, though nowhere near the pages upon pages devoted to those two behemoth worlds. 000004, Equis Doublespeak… 000005, Ardent… 000006… 000007… 000008… 000009, Esefem. Looking at some of the images inserted on the page, Corona was sure this was the right world.

There were a few notes from Twilight herself at the top, the coordinates, and some basic facts: safe, human/pony/other race mixture, high but not absurd magic, FTL allowed, no known esoteric limitations, and civilization…

…Civilizations uncertain? What? How hard was it to tell if there was a civilization in a place or not? There were clearly wild west buildings there, and the race notes said human/pony/other…

Twilight’s notes were brief. “Spent ten minutes here, was shot at by two sets of humans, red and blue clothing. Left quickly while being pursued. Last world visited by all six of us.”

But after that there were tons and tons of pages of information. Corona soon found herself neck-deep in information about a truly Bizarre world unlike any of the others encountered so far, one that, apparently, Twilight had discovered early on and never returned to. A place of eternal war, bizarre mixtures, and duplication…

Corona took out her private journal; the one with a direct link to Twilight’s. She took out a pen and wrote down a message. You should go check out. Esefem, number nine in the Directory. There’s a Tau’ri base there and the place is very bizarre. As far as I can tell, you’ve never gone back since you first visited. It’s just so… different. Read the documentation if you can’t go yourself or don’t want to, but the world raises a lot of fascinating questions! 

She closed the book, glancing at her watch. She had to study for Sophomore finals today, no way she could visit the world herself. She knew she’d drop in as soon as summer vacation started, assuming Director Storm didn’t load her with work-

Wait. Right. Survival Training. She’d forgotten about that until now.

That was going to suck.


~~~


Twilight looked at the Mirror Portal, uncertain.

“Esefem?” Nova said, looking at the screen above the Portal. “…Where’s that?”

“The last place all six of us visited,” Twilight said. “Though, we didn’t know its name. Apparently the Tau’ri have found that out, or at least gave it one. I just… I always avoided reading about this place or going back.”

“Really?” Renee said. “I’ve seen you pore through that Directory over and over again! You never looked at this one again?”

“Only glanced over it,” Twilight admitted. “But Corona’s message made me realize what I was doing. Avoiding it. That world has nothing at all to do with Rainbow and Applejack deciding to leave. And it’s not like we stopped being friends. I had dinner at Applejack’s just a few days ago, she’s doing well.”

Nova frowned. “…I haven’t seen her much. Barely see anypony who’s not involved in the other worlds.”

“Trixie?” Renee asked.

“She basically lives in the Hub now, I see her all the time. But she’s involved. I haven’t been to see Rainbow Dash, Applejack, or Maud in forever.”

“Things change sometimes,” Flutterfree said. “It’s not really worse because of it. We’re all just living our lives. We can’t keep everypony really close forever. The important thing is that we’re all still friends.”

“And the Tree did call Rainbow Dash to Ardent a month ago,” Pinkie said.

Nova nodded. “Right. …So, Twilight, what is this place we’re going to?”

A childish grin of excitement appeared on Twilight’s face. “I don’t know, I still haven’t read the Directory’s entry. All I know is that there’s a Tau’ri base on the other side of this Mirror, observing it. They’ll be able to tell us what’s up, but we’ll also get to be surprised.”

Pinkie gasped. “Twilight that’s amazing! That sounds like something I’d try to do!”

“Maybe I’m just in the mood for a surprise today.”

Renee adjusted her hat. “Well, shall we?”

“Yes we shall,” Flutterfree said. She smirked and spread her wings, leaping through first. Twilight rolled her eyes and followed along with everypony else.

They came out the other side from a wooden plank propped up against a wall. The room they entered was wooden and old. The windows were boarded up, the ceiling was falling apart, and one of the walls had a hole in it big enough for a person. The room contained dozens of computers from other worlds and large military-issue crates from both Earths stacked near the edges. There were a few human soldiers around, alongside several ponies and a few otherworldly creatures, a bit more than Twilight would have expected.

A Rainbow Dash flew up to them, a smirk on her face. She wore a black baseball hat, a headset, bandages around her front hooves, and she carried a baseball bat between said hooves. These features quickly defined themselves in Twilight’s mind so she could recognize this particular Rainbow Dash as different from all others she encountered. “Ah, hello, I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle. Are you Rainbow Dash or do y-“

“Oh. My. Gosh. You’re the Charter!” She dropped her baseball bat and put her hooves to her face. “This is so awesome! Name’s Rainbat, since we couldn’t come up with anything better and the thestral Rainbow’s called Dashula. Welcome to Esefem!”

Twilight smiled. “I see my reputation precedes me.” She pointed at the headset. “Are you supposed to call anyone?”

“Oh, right, yeah, all incomers have to be reported and approved, but of course you will be.” She put a hoof to her headset. “Hey, Colonel? The Charter’s here. Figure you might wanna come have a look see yourself.”

Twilight nodded, looking out the hole in the wall while she waited, watching ponies, humans, and a handful of others getting along.

“I had no idea there were so many worlds working together here…” Renee said. “I don’t recognize many of these! Who’s that blue person over there without a face?”

Rainbat looked over Renee’s shoulder at a muscular blue and silver man with no face. “Oh, that’s just Pepsi Man. He’s a native, like me!”

Twilight nodded. “You’re this world’s version of Rainbow Dash. Got it.”

“One of them, anyway,” Rainbat said.

Flutterfree raised an eyebrow. “One of…?”

Nova glanced at Twilight. “Surprised yet?”

Twilight blinked. “Very. No world I’ve come across has had more than one Rainbow Dash…”

“Are you freakin’ kidding me?” Rainbat said. “You don’t know what Esefem’s all about?”

“No. We wanted to be surprised.”

Flutterfree raised her eyebrow. “You wanted to be surprised.”

“Yes, I did, but nopony objected.”

Rainbat laughed. “Oooooh boy I want to see the look on your faces when you figure some things out! Hah!”

“Unfortunately you won’t get to see them,” Colonel Carter said, entering the room. “You’re still on your watch shift.”

“Aw come on!”

“Rainbat, it is an order.”

Rainbat folded her hooves and kicked her bat into a wall.

Twilight extended her hoof to Colonel Carter. “Nice to meet you. You helped Corona build the arches, right?”

“I came in at the end with a big stargate,” Carter said, shaking the hoof. “But yeah, you could say I helped.”

“Don’t undersell yourself,” Renee insisted.

Carter shrugged. “If you say so. I hear you’ve all come here without knowing what this world is?”

“That’s right,” Twilight said. “I… Haven’t looked at the documentation closely since I wrote the original notes. It’s evidently a lot more than just red and blue humans fighting, isn’t it?”

Carter smirked. “Walk with me.” She set out through the hole in the wall, leading them into a wide open area surrounded by various run down buildings. The sun beat down on them with its intense heat, sand blew in from somewhere beyond the buildings, and a couple cacti dotted the landscape. Intermingled with this were military-issue tents, scientific equipment, and a few firepits. “The world is mostly a desert with a few different biomes here and there. This itself makes it unusual, on par with the endless forest, though nowhere near as uniform. At first glance, it seems to be nothing but mostly abandoned buildings of indeterminate age spread across the desert, or in the cases of certain other places, the mountains.”

“…Weird,” Nova commented. “It’s an endless plane universe then?”

Carter shook her head. “No, this is a planet. The Apollo visited a month or so ago and found that the world is actually a round planet, though due to reasons we don’t understand, from orbit it appears to have a lot more oceans than real-scale maps have, appearing more like a classic Earth. It seems that, when you land on the planet, the ‘land’ area expands exponentially, especially the deserts. This means we get day and night here, but ‘globe’ maps are impossible. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

“I can imagine…” Twilight said, glancing around with newfound appreciation for the world. Already, from Carter’s description, it was pretty unique.

“The Apollo was able to travel the stars, finding that distances in space are really small. It still requires an FTL drive to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, but other stars aren’t even full light years away, just fractions of it. Planets and stars don’t have mass-size correlation of any kind, and every planet we’ve come across has the same ‘expanding area’ effect. Mapping from orbit is impossible, and mapping from the surface is difficult because it’s tremendous, and not arranged in a perfect sphere.”

“Like it’s rendering more data,” Twilight commented.

“What?” Flutterfree asked.

“Sometimes in video games or simulations, when you approach something it becomes more detailed. It’s like that, but much more literal.”

Carter raised an eyebrow. “That’s an apt analogy. But if the world was just a spatial anomaly, we’d only have a small science team here, not an entire base complete with aircraft and military vehicles.” She pointed at a green jeep with a gun mounted on it. “Most of the others are out on patrol.”

“Red and blue humans?”

“Yes. This world is largely defined by the unending fight between Red and Blu, two entities that are ‘companies’ as far as we can tell, or used to be at some point in the past.” She rubbed her temples, groaning slightly. “Right, the past… I’ll get to that in a minute. What’s important is that there are basically Red and Blu armies facing off against each other for essentially no reason. A few have realized this and are trying to avoid fighting; for example, Scouty over there.”

A human man in a yellow shirt looked up. “Did someone call my name here?”

“Yes. Scouty, this is Charter Twilight and her team.”

“Oh, so the big honcho then?” He said, sitting back and twirling his baseball bat. “Come to visit Crosstown have you?”

“Crosstown?” Nova asked.

“It’s the nickname for our base,” Carter explained. “Officially we are the Esefem Beachhead, but try as I might I can’t get people to refer to it as that.”

“Because that’s stupid,” Scouty said, tapping his headset. “Not to mention boring, lame, jargon-y, and did I mention boring?”

Carter shook her head. “Scouty here was once a Blu mercenary, but he met us and decided he’d rather help than keep fighting the war.”

“True pointlessness,” Scouty said, hands on his hips. “I don’t think anybody knows why we’re still blowing each other up.”

Renee put a hoof to her chin. “Scouty dear, why are you wearing the exact same thing Rainbat is?”

Scouty blinked. “Oh my god, your little brains are going to explode in about fifteen seconds.”

“What?”

Carter’s lips curved up into a bemused smile. “Twilight, you know how many universes have versions of you and your friends?”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah. It’s why we change our names or get new titles.”

“In this world, there are naturally hundreds of versions of the same individual.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Look over there,” Carter pointed. Twilight saw two identical men with identical hats and glasses holding identical sniper rifles, the only differentiating feature between them being a number 2 written on the sleeves of the closer one. “Both those men are Snipers, native to this world. Duplicates.”

“Duplicates?”

“Duplicates.”

Twilight cocked her head. “Is there cloning going on here?”

“In the case of the mercenaries for Red and Blu, sometimes,” Carter revealed. “There are only nine basic mercenary types to be found, though occasionally we see a few other classes mixed in with them. But as you have to know by now, there’s not just mercenaries in this world, even if that is all that seems to happen on any planet when you first look.”

“It extends to other planets…” Flutterfree shook her head. “What a cruel world…”

“What else exists?” Nova egged Carter on.

“Seemingly everything,” Carter said. “There are a large number of ponies around the world. Travel far enough and you will find Red and Blu battles fought entirely with pony versions of the mercenaries, or a mix of humans and ponies. And beyond that you sometimes find settlements where there isn’t fighting. Versions of Ponyville. Places filled with Rainbow Dashes and Fluttershys and others. Things we’ve never seen before either – there’s a rather prevalent ‘race’ that’s essentially just restaurant animatronics that seem to be designed for killing.”

“How though? How are there so many of everyone?” Twilight asked.

“That’s one of the reasons we’re here, to figure that out,” Carter said. “Nobody knows why that is. It’s not just a universe that’s being strange with how it displays space, it’s a universe that likes to duplicate, again and again, everyone it has, when no other universe does this at all.”

“But wait, there’s more!” Pinkie said.

“Much more,” Carter said, leading them elsewhere. “You see, look at these buildings. They look old right? Worn down. But almost every building looks old and worn down, and largely abandoned. Despite the large populations of mercenaries and warriors, there’s little evidence of new construction. Many of the buildings are identical in different places, and even in locations where war isn’t happening and variations are exceptionally… odd, they look largely the same. Which leads me to one of the biggest headaches about this world… the past.”

“Time shenanigans?” Nova asked, nervously.

“Maybe? It’s different than that. Every part of the world can trace their history back for recent memory – they remember plays the enemy made, they remember where their parents took them on Sunday, they remember who’s their friend and not. But when asked about their deep past, they start giving vague details. Childhood memories are generally generic and disinterested, and they mention places like ‘Paris’ or ‘France’ or other locations that don’t seem to actually exist. Nobody can remember who built any of the buildings or why, and those who are aware of the duplications feel as if the buildings don’t change unless you physically blow a hole in them. It’s as if the past doesn’t exist – people just pop into existence and feel like where they are is normal. Though when they are questioned about it, usually they agree it doesn’t make much sense.”

“This… is actually a little terrifying,” Flutterfree said. “Think about it. False memories? A past that doesn’t exist? Endless duplication?”

“Are they being dragged from other worlds somehow?” Twilight asked.

“No,” Carter said. “We know this because we’ve met a handful of people who were dragged from other worlds.”

“Did somebody ring?” A deep, bemused voice called. “I could have sworn somebody called.”

“Who…” Nova began.

“Me!” the voice yelled, its user revealing itself to be a version of Fluttershy by dropping from the sky and nearly giving Nova a heart attack. She wore red tinted glasses that matched the color of her hat, suit, and menacing eyes. Her teeth were sharp, her wings batlike, and her ears tipped with extra fur. Two guns, black and white, pointed out of the folds of her crimson suit.

Nova stared at her blankly. “Wh-wh-wha?”

“Oh my goodness the look on your face is just priceless. You are currently shitting yourself – metaphorically, you understand – from a mixture of so many different emotions. Should I be scared of the daunting vampiric pegasus? Does she want to eat me? How in the name of all that is holy would meek little Fluttershy have a version of herself with such outrageously good looks? What the actual hell-slash-Tartarus is wrong with her voice? Is that magic coming off of her or something much more sinister and disgusting? How many ponies has she eaten today? Can I be one of them? An-”

“Alushy,” Carter said, raising an eyebrow.

“All right fine, be the buzzkill.” She threw her mane back and outstretched her hoof. “Hello there, grand exploratory ponies, I am Alushy. I am a fudgemothering vampire trying to earn good-girl points from the Colonel there so I can get off the god-forsaken rock that makes no physical sense. I’m also not from here, but from a world with a lot of blood, destruction, and thousands of adorable ponies fighting each other over religion, undead magics, and Nazism. It was an absolute delight.”

Flutterfree walked up and shook Alushy’s hoof. “It’s nice to meet you. I go by Flutterfree.”

“Thank the inconsistent heavens above, you aren’t a pussy. Do you have any idea how many of us are pussies? Like, all of them. All of them. It’s a disgrace.”

“I… Tend to agree,” Flutterfree admitted. “Though you really shouldn’t talk about them like that.”

Alushy laughed. “Do I look like a pony who listens to words like ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’?”

“Nope,” Renee said, raising an eyebrow.

Alushy shrugged, turning to Carter. “Anyway, I believe you needed to use me to make a point? I’m all here, splayed out and ready for the scientific monologue.”

Carter nodded. “Alushy here is one of a handful of individuals we’ve met who are from other universes and were sucked here. That makes this the only universe that seems to have a natural interdimensional component.”

“Assuming it is natural,” Twilight noted. “A lot of this does appear… Artificial.”

“Universe builders? That’s a scary thought,” Flutterfree said.

“We don’t exactly know what creates universes. It’s clear that some have existed longer than others at this point and the discrepancy can’t be explained away by simple time dilation. Something has to make them, or at least dictate when they come into existence.”

“Ooh! Sounds like you’re trying to find God!” Alushy said. “Lovely idea, I’m sure that won’t backfire.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at Alushy. “I’m watchin’ you.”

“That’s a thing you Pinkies tend to do. I’m starting to think you all find my mane attractive or something.”

Twilight carried the conversation onward, ignoring Alushy. “So we have a universe that loves duplicates, has a unique spatial bending effect, has virtually no traceable history, and is dimensionally active? Anything else?”

“The Red and Blu armies know how to respawn,” a woman who looked exactly like Carter said, walking up to them.

Twilight glanced back and forth between them. “Wait, this universe has duplicates of you as well?!”

“No,” the original Carter said, “That’s just a Spy class of some kind.”

“Make that two!” another Carter said, coming out from behind a box.

“Fudge this, I’m out,” Alushy said. “Not playing the triple-decker guess-who challenge. Here’s a hint for you five – pick door number three.”

“…What does that mean?” Nova asked.

“BR-549,” Alushy answered, turning a corner. They could hear her cackling to herself as she walked away.

Twilight had too many questions. Respawn? Spy class? What?

Renee helped her. “Oh, I see. That’s why they thought I was a spy. I take it that the Raritys here are ‘Spies’ as it were?”

The two fake Carters’ bodies shifted with a strange faint orange smoke, disappearing into two very similar ponies – Rarities in pale yellow suits, each one with a slightly menacing smirk on their faces. “I’d guess the ‘main’ Rarity would have to have a brain, hrm ma soeur?”

The other smirked. “It would seem so. Dear Renee, the Rarity of Equis Vitis, we are the Rarispy Sisters.”

“Identical in every last way.” They gracefully brushed hooves, a gesture Renee hadn’t seen before but found much more elegant than the hoofbump everypony else was so fond of.

Renee pulled her hat back a bit. “Absolutely charmed. Though calling me the ‘main’ doesn’t give the others enough credit.”

A Rarispy shrugged. “You can try to play the humble card if you want, but remember, we may be part Spy, but we are also part you.”

“We know how you think of yourself,” the other added.

“A-hem?” Twilight blurted. “The ‘respawn’. What is it?”

Carter looked at her watch. “We have time for a demonstration. If you don’t mind substantial amount of blood.”

Renee tensed slightly. “We… should be fine.”

“Shall we ring Uni?” a Rarispy asked Carter.

Carter nodded. “Go ahead. She’ll know where to go.”

“Uni?” Nova asked as the Rarispies ran off, transforming into different ponies.

“A Twilight. She joined us as our magic expert. Shouldn’t be long…”

A couple of seconds later, a Twilight Sparkle appeared in front of them – a unicorn. “Ack! Sorry Colonel! I was staring off into-“

Carter shook her head. “Uni, you’re not in trouble, I just needed you for something. Have you met Charter Twilight?”

Uni gasped. “Why didn’t anyone tell me she was here?”

“We’ve only been here a few minutes, maybe?” Flutterfree suggested.

“Oh. Right. What can I do for you all?”

Carter leaned in. “Do you know where there’s a Red and Blu conflict happening right now?”

“Of course I do! There’s three I’m sure haven’t died down yet, and sixteen others that might still be up!”

“Have enough strength to teleport us all so we can watch?”

“Sure!” Uni said, rubbing her hooves together. Unlike Twilight, she was still a unicorn, so she had to expend a significant amount of time and energy initiating the teleport, but it wasn’t long enough for anybody to get impatient. The six ponies and Carter were teleported on top of a rusting water tower overlooking another set of buildings that were similar to the ones they had just left. The main difference was that gunfire was everywhere. They all looked down and had an easy vantage point of a set of Red mercenaries and a set of Blu mercenaries shooting at each other from across a large street. Rocket launchers, sniper rifles, flamethrowers, and other weapons filled the air with their noise.

When they were here last, around two years ago at this point, they were a bit too caught up in the danger they were in to really pay attention to the fight. Now, however, the ponies were able to watch from a relatively safe location, and they had the opportunity to see what was really happening.

Death.

One moment a bullet would fly, the next – blood. Bodies fell to the ground on both sides. Still, though, more and more mercenaries flooded out of the respective bases, ready with new weapons, hats, and copies of themselves.

Occasionally a mercenary in a white coat would come out with a special gun and heal his team, resurrecting some of them, but eventually he would fall as well.

Nova had to look away. Uni sighed. “Yeah… It’s horrible.”

“How can they keep sending people in?” Twilight asked, aghast. “They just keep falling like… like flies! Why do they keep charging? How are there this many?”

“There aren’t,” Carter said. “Look at that Scout there on the Red side. He’s following the same path the last Scout who came out did, trying to distract the Blu forces on that side.”

Flutterfree eyes widened. “It’s the same Scout?”

“And that’s what respawn is. Any mercenary involved in the conflict between Red and Blue – standard or not – will appear after ‘death’ after a short time. They seem to think this is because of cloning, but it’s just not the case. That explains some of the duplicates, not the coming back to life over and over again. We’re trying to figure out how they do it, but progress is slow.” She leaned back on the water tower. “It doesn’t help that once a mercenary leaves the Red and Blu fight, they stop respawning. And that’s why we need the large military presence at the Crosstown. Protection from those who have absolutely no reason to fear death, and think any incursion that isn’t them has to be the enemy.”

Renee watched the carnage with less horror on her face and more morbid curiosity. “This… This world is horrid in ways I can’t even begin to put into words.”

“It’s also curious and fascinating,” Uni said. “I’m from here and I know it’s weird. Once you get out of the constant battles, things range from wholesome quiet places to complete and utter random nonsense. …Like Pepsi Man. Nobody knows what’s up with him.”

“I can see why Corona said I should check this place out…” Twilight said. “I think we’re going to stay for a while, Carter, see what we can do.”

“No problem here. Most of my people would love to talk to the great Charter, so prepare to be swarmed.”

“Oh!” Uni said, blushing. “Am I swarming you? I’m sorry-“

“No, you are-“

A bullet flew past her ear, cutting off her sentence.

“Crap, a Sniper sees us,” Carter blurted.

Nova lit her horn and teleported back to their base. “There you go.”

“…That was a fast teleport…” Uni said, jaw hanging.

“I could give you some tips, but I doubt they’ll be as in-depth or as technical as you’d like.”

“I would love some tips!”

Twilight chuckled. “I think we’re going to like it while we’re here.”

They could hear Alushy whooping from somewhere in the distance. “Yeah! More fools to school!”


~~~


Nova blinked. “So, it’s not weird for you two?”

Rainbat and Scouty glanced at each other. “Not really,” Rainbat said. “We just do the same jobs. Must be weirder sharing a face, frankly.”

“I dunno how those Rarispies do it,” Scouty shivered. “Or the Snipers. Seeing my own face gives me the heeby-jeebies. Oh, and gettin’ to this place? Had to cave my own face in a couple times. That’s a traumatic experience you don’t recover from. I’m sure you’ve all probably had that a million times over though, bein’ the explorers you are.”

Flutterfree smiled sheepishly. “We’ve… only actually seen death up close a few times. We usually resolve things without lethal force.”

Nova nodded. “I don’t think any of us have actually killed anypony.”

“Corona has. During the invasion of Ardent,” Flutterfree shook her head. “It didn’t bother her as much as I thought it would…”

Rainbat nudged Scouty. “Told ya’ being nonlethal was cool.”

“Yeah yeah, you can shut your trap, bird-brain,” Scouty muttered, twirling his bat around in a circle. “Maybe you can get away with that in other worlds, but not here. Here it’s just death death and more death, and once you’ve died you get to die again. Let me tell you, dying, not a fun experience. Gets to your head after a while.”

“I can imagine,” Nova admitted.

“Course, now I can die and stay dead, so… It’s an improvement, yeah, but nothin’ good comes without pain.”

Rainbat nodded. “Same. I didn’t have to bash my own skull in though. Merely… Lots of his skulls.”

“Part of me wonders if you actually did bash my skull in back in the day…”

“You’re way too young to be using ‘back in the day’ in casual conversation.”

“And you’re too much of a… a… somethin’ to use ‘casual conversation’ in… casual conversation.” Scouty put a hand to the bridge of his nose. “My god, that was stupid.”

Alushy dropped from the ceiling, hanging from her tail like a bat. “But Scouty, that’s what you do best!”

“Holy corn salad! Alushy! I told you to stop doin’ that!”

“And I want you to keep telling me that! It feels gooood when you do.”

“Ew,” Rainbat gagged.

“Anyway, what else are you losers talking about? Me?”

“Bashing skulls in,” Nova deadpanned.

“And with that you have my undivided attention.” Alushy dropped to the floor. “What kind of skulls? And how many? Oh please tell me hundreds…”

Scouty raised an eyebrow. “You already know about the skulls.”

“But I- oh you mean your skulls. But that’s nothing special, skulls are everywhere here. It’s like a kid in a candy store, too easy, too sickening. I’m talking to these two.”

“Never killed anypony,” Nova said, keeping her expression and tone deadpan.

“You do not like me do you?”

“No.”

Alushy laughed. “Nice. Could always use someone who’s technically on my side that I can push into a fight. Just a few buttons pressed here and there and mmm you’d be at my throat. It’d be interesting to say the least. Rawr.”

“I have more self control than tha-“

Flutterfree grabbed her shoulder. “Ah, Nova? I could probably do that if I wanted. Don’t give her more of a reason to, okay?”

Alushy whistled. “Oh yes, you’ve even got an overly protective guardian with you. This could work nicely.”

Flutterfree raised an eyebrow. “You know we’re not staying here that long, right?”

“I’m not stuck here permanently either. I will get out eventually, and I will haunt you forever. Ever. Ever. Ever.”

Rainbat folded her arms. “Ain’t no way the Colonel’s giving you a device.”

“Sounds good to me!” Alushy laughed.

“But… I just…”

“You used a double negative,” Flutterfree deadpanned.

“Oh. Dammit Alushy!”

Alushy shrugged. “Let’s see, vampire, unholy, killed probably millions of people, probably only half of whom deserved it, two thirds if I’m being generous… Yeah I think I’m already well and truly damned.  Thanks for the sentiment though!”

“Your world must have been violent,” Flutterfree said.

“You have no idea, clearly. Even this place is less bloody than where I’m from. Wait until you see me get shot, the blood will gush like a pony sized pimple.”

“Ew!” Rainbat groaned.

“Would you rather I used a euphemism? I can use a euphemism. It’ll be a glorious euphemism!”

“EWWWWWW.”

“And this, ladies, is how you wage psychological warfare. Didn’t even need to come up with one.”

“What else was your world like?” Fluters asked.

“It was an Earth, except it was ponies. Undead were a serious problem, and I was the biggest badass of a vampire to ever roam the earth. I had a bit of a soft spot for ponykind though, defended them from undead threats. It made killing a lot more fun when other ponies begged you to do it. There was a lot of blood involved, a lot of death, a lot of brutally losing my own limbs, and a lot of delicious feasts. There was one thing though…”

“What?”

“There was no swearing. I went my entire, centuries long life – or unlife or whatever – without knowing what swears were! I’d find strange things like ‘heck’ or ‘darn’ or ‘crud’ to say whenever I could, but those just don’t get the job done, you know? And when I came here I realized I was speaking through a filter all this time.” She pointed at Nova. “You know what I’m talking about. It feels damn good, doesn’t it?”

“…Sometimes,” Nova admitted.

“Now, I have a question for you powerful, great explorers of the multiverse. I’ve found all the common swears I replaced, all of them, except one. I want to know, what the actual hell am I trying to say when I scream ‘fudge’ to the heavens?”

Nova glanced at Flutterfree. “No idea. You?”

“…The S word?” Flutterfree suggested.

“Already know shit,” Alushy said. This prompted Rainbat and Scouty to laugh. “Oh right, laugh it up, apparently being knowledgeable in the field of fecal matter is worthy of mockery.”

“Hey, don’t you pretend for a moment you wouldn’t laugh if one of us said that,” Scouty retorted.

“I’m really good at pretending. And lying.”

Scouty threw his hands in the air. “You’re impossible.”

“Good! If I wasn’t I’d be concerned I wasn’t projecting the right image. Would consider changing hair products, even. Go from ‘pig’s blood’ to ‘blood of your enemies’.”

“It is so hard to tell when you’re joking,” Nova muttered.

“I could make you a flow chart.”

Nova facehooved.

The two Scouts got a call in their headsets. Rainbat groaned. “Looks like we got a shift on patrol.”

“Dunno why we put up with this…” Scouty muttered.

Flutterfree smiled. “It’s probably because you like it here, it’s your home, even if it is crazy.”

Scouty shrugged, dropping his hand and walking away, Rainbat flapping along behind him.

Alushy grinned, turning to the two of them. “Hey, want to see something cool?”

Nova blinked. “Er…”

“Sure,” Flutterfree said. “What is it?”

“We’ve got a cuddly bear down in the basement,” Alushy said, smiling. “I think you’d like to meet him!”

Nova raised a hoof. “When you say ‘cuddly’ do you by chance mean ‘vicious murder machine’?”

“Known me for only an hour and you’re already catching on. Oh yes.”

“You avoided the question.”


“The answer is in the basement!”

Flutterfree smiled warmly. “Let’s just go, okay?”

Alushy led them to another part of the Crosstown compound, bringing them to a set of black cellar doors. There was no lock, so it was easy for Alushy to pull the doors back. “Ladies first.”

“We’re all ladies,” Nova pointed out.

“But I sound like a man…”

“Yeah, what is that?” Flutterfree asked. “Why that voice?”

“One of the mysteries of existence. No plans on changing it, just sounds too awesome. Now move it, the bear awaits!”

Flutterfree and Nova descended the cellar stairs, half expecting Alushy to lock them in. She didn’t, she simply filed in after them. The cellar was dark, dusty, and full of barrels marked with MANN CO logos.

“I don’t see a bear,” Nova commented.

Alushy coughed. “Oh, he’s in here all right. Just give it a moment.”

Flutterfree took a step forward, swiveling her ears around, listening carefully. “Hello? Mister bear? I’m Flutterfree. Where are you?”

A voice returned her comment, echoing from all around them. “I… Am here…”

“Where?” Flutterfree asked. “It’s okay…”

There was a clank of metal, a groan – and then it jumped in front of their faces. Teeth, red eyes, metal spikes, black ‘skin’, mechanical roar. Nova screamed, lighting her horn with a reactionary laser spell. Flutterfree brushed her wing across Nova’s face to interrupt the spell. “That wasn’t very nice, mister bear.”

The large robotic bear leaned back, sitting down. He looked like a mess – both his chest and his mouth were filled with dozens of razor sharp teeth. His black ‘skin’ was just outer casing that had many holes, revealing a metallic endoskeleton inside. The ‘bear’ was a machine that maybe have looked like a bear once, but was now a razor-sharp killing machine. It stared at Flutterfree. “Your heart races.”

“Of course! You jumped out of nowhere and screamed!” Flutterfree said. “What do you expect?”

“Nothing less.” The bear walked away, back into the shadows.

Nova glared at Alushy. “What was that all about?”

“Meet Nightmare, our resident animatronic nutcase,” Alushy answered. “He likes to scare people. He also doesn’t like being shot at. So he lives down here for the most part. Chill dude, really, bit of a macabre streak though.”

“Look who’s talking…” Nova muttered, still breathing hard.

“Oho! Wow he got you good.”

“I almost zapped him!”

“Probably wouldn’t do much. I’m fairly certain he’s a fudging undead robot. I’m no engineer but there’s no way machinery that worn still works.”

Flutterfree sighed. “Usually I’d tell everyone ‘that wasn’t nice’ at this point, but I just don’t see the point with you.”

Alushy clapped her hooves. “As it should be!”

“Let’s just get out of this cellar…” Nova muttered.


~~~


Renee looked behind her at a room of seemingly ordinary individuals. She cleared her throat. “Rainbow Dash with a limp, blond man with a mustache.”

The two individuals who were called out looked at each other, shrugged, and transformed back into the Rarispies. “How could you tell?”

“Lack of a gun on the soldier, too sly of a look on the pony. Rainbow Dash has never ever pulled off stylishly cunning.”

One of them raised her eyebrow. “How can you be so sure that particular Rainbow Dash couldn’t?”

“Gamble,” Renee admitted. “Paid off though, didn’t it?”

“Ah, a risk taker. Good,” the other said.

“I think I know how to get her this time…” the first mused.

Renee facehooved. “Please stop with the hiding games. Why not be yourselves?”

“Dear, this is us. We live by hiding, by sneaking, by pretending.”

“To all except each other,” the other said, slinging her counterpart into a playful hug. “We are les soeurs. Sisters.”

“What is your story?”

“Ah, a most interesting tale…” the first one said, smirking. “You always tell it the best, you should do it.”

The second rolled her eyes. “It’s always the exact same. So, no doubt you have seen the carnage of a Red and Blu battle in the heat of the situation?”

Renee nodded. “It was… brutal. But at the same time, fascinating to see how people with no fear of death act.”

“It just so happened that our defining moment was during one of those battles – we were in an all pony scenario, and hadn’t discovered the other scenarios or anything apart from the battles yet. We were both convinced we were clones of some original Spy from France, fighting for a large sum of money to be given at the end of the conflict. Of course, as always, there is no money, there may not be any conflict, and the few people that qualify as ‘superiors’ for the colored armies mean only slightly less than nothing.

“Regardless, there we were, the two of us. We had both decided to take a risky move – disguise ourselves as the Spy of the opposite team. This had worked beautifully for both of us before, but we had never come across a Spy trying the same thing. Rarely do Spies miss their targets, but there are occasional slip-ups in the assassination attempts. We faced each other and swung wildly with reaction – gouging out each other’s stomachs at the same time, but not scoring a complete kill. We were down, bleeding out, next to each other with nopony else around.”

“That’s where this thing called ‘bonding’ happened,” the other said.

The storyteller smirked. “That it did. We both realized we were tired of fighting, but we knew the fight wouldn’t end. We got to know each other, talked a bit about what we were fighting for, but agreed we couldn’t stop. At first, anyway. We respawned and leaped back into the action – but ran into each other again in much the same manner. We couldn’t do it – couldn’t kill. And this time, there were witnesses. So we ran. We fled the battle, resolving never to return.

“Of course then we had to deal with realizing the world wasn’t what we thought it was, but that’s a whole other story. Needless to say we wandered around, keeping our heads down, infiltrating the wars on the same side when we needed to. We eventually ended up here, and frankly it’s just magnifique, no more fear. Any of those idiot armies who attack get beaten back easily at this point. We provide assistance, they provide us with sanctuary.”

Renee smiled. “That’s a great story. I’m happy for you two – really, I am.”

The two Rarispies performed the graceful hoof-brush again.

“I do have a question though. Why do you stay here? Why not go to a more peaceful world?”

They both smirked. “Why, Renee, we’re not just a Rarity. We’re also a Spy. Most other worlds would have… issues with the naturally deceptive and manipulative type. Not to mention we are mercenaries. Killers. Very effective ones.”

“Ah… Yes. Sometimes I forget what this world is… even after just hearing about it.”

“We take some pride in our completely off-the-wall world. I’m quite curious to see what these Tau’ri uncover about the reasons behind this mess.”

“I do have someone I could ask…” Renee put a hoof to her chin.

“Who?”

Renee blinked. “Well… Are you aware of the ‘sight’ some Pinkies seem to have?”

“Very,” the other one groaned. “They’re such a pain.”

The first raised an eyebrow. “You going to try to trick yours into revealing something? Bit of a pain, that.”

Renee smiled. “Little different than that with us, but I’ll see what I can find out.” Her ears perked up. “…Do I hear soda fizzing?”

At this remark, the Rarispies ducked for cover.

“…What?”

The door to the room they were in was kicked down, revealing the towering, muscular Pepsi Man, Pinkie riding his back. “PEPSI MAAAAAAN!” Pinkie sung.

Pepsi Man pointed at Renee, and suddenly there was a can of Pepsi in her hoof. Pepsi man saluted her, and ran for the doorway, tripping on the door he had just bashed in. He hit the ground, tossing Pinkie to his side. The party pony laughed harder than she had in some time.

Renee glanced at the can in her hoof. “…What?”

The Rarispies came back out. “Oh good, nothing exploded. Things tend to explode when he’s around.”

Renee glanced at Pepsi Man as he slowly stood up, rubbing his head. “…What are you?”

He shrugged, summoning a can and tossing it to Pinkie. She popped the tab and drank it down. “I prefer Coke, but still good!” His fist met her hoof in a celebration.

Renee looked at the Rarispies.

“Nobody knows. He’s got super speed, strength, and an ability to summon unlimited amounts of Pepsi. He’s also a bit clumsy. That’s all we know.”

The other shrugged. “He’s nice, helpful, and defends the Crosstown with everyone else.”

Renee blinked. She decided she might as well see what the drink was like. She popped the tab – and the soda sprayed in the face of all three Rarities. Renee sighed, wringing out her hat. It tasted fine, but the flavor wasn’t worth a face full of sugar.

Pinkie giggled.

“You were waiting for that,” Renee commented.

“Yes! I was! The looks on your faces were great!”

Renee rolled her eyes. “Hey, got a question for you.“

“Eh, I’m in a good mood today.” She reclined against Pepsi Man. “So, what secrets of the universe bother you today?”

Renee frowned. “…Why? Why are they fighting?”

“Couple reasons,” Pinkie said. “There were two silly, silly men who didn’t know how to share worthless land, hired nine mercenaries, started a clone war and went to the absolute maximum with it. Thus, the eternal war began.…In a different world.”

Renee blinked. “How’d it start here?”

Pinkie shrugged. “No idea. I can guess – maybe this universe dragged the elements from another universe? Maybe it just knew? Maybe somebody with a sick mind did this?” She shrugged. “Possibly a mixture of all the above. I just dunno. I also don’t think we’re supposed to find out.”

The Rarispies glanced from Pinkie to Rarity. “I have never heard one of your kind talk that openly before,” one pointed out.

Pinkie shrugged. “Hey, as the Pinkie leading the charge into everything, I get to be a little different. By the way, you two are adorable. Never take each other for granted, mmk?”

“Never,” the other said, smiling.

Pinkie winked. “Good on you then!” she leaped back onto Pepsi Man. “Let’s sneak up on Alushy! Go!” Pepsi Man ran out of the building, into the distance.

A Rarispy glanced at her sister. “That will end in tears.”

“Can Pepsi Man even cry?” the other wondered.

“We shall find out soon.”

Renee shook her head. “This place is bizarre.”


~~~


Twilight walked with Uni into her lab. Twilight grinned at the computers, the corkboards covered in papers and string, the magical crystals set into nice organized patterns, the notebooks filled with scribbles… it was inspiring to see.

Uni smiled. “I see you like it.”

“Like it? I love it! Reminds me what my lab looks like when Spike’s busy, actually.”

“…Spike? – Oh! The little dragon.”

Twilight’s smile vanished. “Oh… You never had a Spike?”

Uni shook her head. “Nope.”

“Well, what was your life like then?”

“My past? …Very vague, and probably not real. I liked books, books, books, and lived in a library. Then I really did exist, and found a library to live in. I never felt the need to take the role of Sniper like the world wanted me too. I pawned off my gun to a Fluttershy. She’s actually here, now. Brought another Twilight Sniper in. We call them Twiper and Snipershy. Good friends.”

“Must be weird, knowing your early memories are fake.”

“It is, but not really?” Uni said. “I mean, it’s scary sometimes, but it means I can be my own person without being defined by childhood experiences. I turned down what it tried to give me, became my own thing. I lived in one of the peaceful pony settlements for the longest time. Then there were robot versions of the mercenaries that put that little dream in the dirt…” her emotions caught up with what she was saying, tearing her smile down. “…I had some good friends there.”

“Did any of them survive?”

“I don’t know. The world’s a bit too large to go hunting for them now… I just have to hope some of them made it.” She forced a smile. “But that’s in the far past. I worked as a ‘freelance magitechnician’ after that for whoever wanted me. Either team, any third party. Never enjoyed it, but I vowed never to settle down again. Until I came here – a sort of in-between option.”

Twilight smiled. “It would be fitting if a pony who didn’t accept what the world gave her would be the one to figure out why it wanted to give her a role in the first place.”

“Something I’ve been working on constantly for months. It’s a big, huge, tremendous mystery. We still have no idea. We brought Starbeat in – you know her – and she told us that the Beat was high here, but not acting unusually. She did suspect that at the moment a new person is ‘created’ there might be a spike in Beat activity similar to the click, but we’ve never seen anyone come into existence. It’s just like they’re there. Respawn has no surge in the Beat, and the events we like to call ‘complete randomness’ are the only ones that do.”

“Complete randomness?”

“There are pockets that don’t follow rules,” Uni said. “A pony head grows to the size of a moon and demands that everyone worship it, but they defeat it with cheese, farts, and sometimes other unseemly actions. Starbeat left behind a notebook full of notes on how the Beat behaved in those situations – apparently a lot more complicated than her clicks, stronger at times, but less common and often more subtle. It… confused me, but she assured me it had nothing to do with the rest of the world’s weirdness.”

“Just another thing tacked on…” Twilight mused. “What if all the oddness has separate reasons behind it?”

“Definitely,” Uni said. “My theories are that the spatial distortion is just a natural part of this universe’s physics, the respawn is something the Red and Blu corporations do themselves somehow, and… Well I don’t have anything concrete for the false past and duplicates. Pretty sure they’re related though.”

Twilight flipped through a notebook. “Did you think it looked almost designed?”

“Yeah, I did think that. But come on, it couldn’t be possible to craft an entire universe, right? You’ve never seen anything that comes even close to that kind of power, have you?”

Twilight shook her head. “Discord and the Ascended are at the top of the list right now. I’m not sure on a power rating for the Stars or the ‘Goddess’, but I can tell they don’t have anywhere near the ability to mess with a whole universe. If all the Stars worked together, maybe.” She looked up from the notebook. “…They used to have a society.”

“Hrm?”

“The Stars used to have a multiversal society. It… Well they stopped being a society, not exactly sure what happened. But they told Starlight to beware the Starcross. If there is something that can face a society of Stars…” she bit her lip.

“So… What, this ‘Starcross’ might be responsible for this? Why?”

“I don’t know. Why would you make a universe like this?”

Uni frowned. “You’re evil, you have power, and you’re bored, so you want to watch a game?”

“I…” Twilight pondered this. “Actually, we met a cube once that did nothing but play games. Didn’t have the capability to do this, but the idea was similar. Of course, you’re not just mindless pawn constructs.”

“I sure hope not,” Uni said, checking a computer screen. “You know, if this universe was designed, I think it failed to do what it was supposed to do. Became something… unintended.”

“You might be onto something there.”

“Maybe… But I need to find a way to quantify everything, and that’s not working. So I keep working with everyone here, and we try to uncover the powers behind these secrets. Mostly respawn. That would be… so useful.”

“It’d save so many lives. Change society forever.”

Uni nodded. “Here’s to hoping we figure it out!”

“Yeah! I-“

An alarm started blaring.

Twilight looked around. “…Should we be worried?”

Uni shook her head. “That’s the perimeter alarm. Means we’re engaging an enemy at the edge of Crosstown. Probably a team of mercenaries. They’ll be turned away quickly.”

The alarm started blaring louder.

Uni’s ears folded back onto her head. “Now we worry. Something’s broken the perimeter.”

“…That was fast.”

“Very fast,” Uni said.

Twilight teleported them to the command building. Carter was on a headset, yelling into it. “What’s happening out there!? Come on!”

They could hear a voice coming through the speaker – a man, choking on his own blood. “Ponies… Not mercenaries… Crazy… Sorry, sir…”

The line went silent.

Carter slammed the headset into the ground. She grabbed a microphone. “Everyone, we’ve got incoming! Prepare to engage an enemy – non-mercenary ponies of unknown potential! High threat assessment! Defend this base!”

Twilight flared her wings and lit her horn. “I’m ready.”

Carter readied her Zat gun. “I doubt they’ll make it here, or even want us, but we’ll be ready for them.” She pointed to some men in the room. “Guard the exits.”

“I’m going out,” Twilight said.

“Don’t, we need you alive more than anypony else,” Carter said – though it sounded like an order. “Use your magic from here, like the sniper class other Twilights find themselves in so often. That’s what I’m doing.” She approached a window, looking out. “I doubt they’ll get within our sight range though. Too much between us and them.”

They heard a scream fill the air from the distance.

“…That’s way too loud,” Carter noted.

Uni dragged some sound-blocking headphones out of an emergency crate. “We can use these, if we need to. But I don’t think everyone’s going to have some…”

“Not sure it’ll help. Some noises are loud enough to just move you.”

“Great,” Twilight muttered. “…Still think they can handle it?”

Carter nodded. “We’ve got the best of the best here from several different worlds. They won’t win.”

Twilight found herself wondering how many of theirs could fall and still let the fight be considered a ‘win.’ It was probably a high number…


~~~


Rainbat and Scouty peered over the edge of their barricade of sandbags nervously. The alarms blared, constantly reminding them that they were under attack and that the first perimeter had been breached.

They knew full well they were at the second perimeter. They were praying that whatever was attacking wasn’t coming from their side. A pony and a man with bats and simple guns probably couldn’t face whatever broke through the first line of defense in only a couple of seconds.

A couple of seconds. Even magic teleport spammers could usually be caught…

Flutterfree put her hooves up on the barricade as well. “What are we doing?”

Rainbat gasped. “Flutterfree? What are you doing here?”

“Looking for somepony to tell us what’s going on,” Nova said, looking over the barricade as well. “Under attack?”

“Yep,” Scouty said, aiming his gun at nothing. “Nothing breaks through the outer perimeter. Something just did.”

Nova lit her horn. “Good thing I’m here then.”

Flutterfree blinked. “I probably shouldn’t be here… Anywhere safe?”

“As deep inside Crosstown as you can get,” Scouty said. “You better-“

A jar of medical healing pills flew through the air. Scouty caught it rather than letting it hit him in the head. “…What in the world?”

“Pills…”

Flutters’ ears perked up. “What was that?”

“Somebody talking,” Nova said, trying to find the source of the voice. She did, but only because the source was no longer trying to be stealthy.

“PILLS!” a version of Applejack screamed. Unlike the other versions Nova had seen here, this one was very far removed from her ‘base’ self – matte black hair, pale peach skin, and psychotic green eyes. Her appearance was too sudden to react to. She grabbed the pills from Scouty and punched him across the jaw in the process. He fell to the ground, grunting.

The Applejack popped the top off the pills and began to feast on them disturbingly, paying no mind to the ponies around her.

Nova blinked. “…Yeah, there’s no way this pony is what caused the break in.”

Flutterfree pointed her wing in the air. “She’s a distraction!”

Nova looked into the air just in time to see a Derpy flying through the air – a Derpy with a gatling gun instead of a right front leg. She was aiming right at them.

Nova barely raised the magical shield in time, deflecting all the bullets. Rainbat ducked out from under the shield just long enough to toss a baseball through the air, hitting the Derpy square in the head. She plummeted like a dead bird to the ground, landing on a nearby crate with a thud.

“Ow…” The Derpy muttered, shaking her head.

Scouty rubbed his skull. “Was that a distraction too? Or are we just amazing?”

Nova furrowed her brow. “I don’t know… These two don’t seem that threatening, compared to the mercenaries…”

“That’s because they’re being idiots,” a synthetic, but nonetheless familiar voice said. With an ominous thud a Rainbow Dash landed on the ground before them, her entire body covered in a metallic sheen. Her ears were two black spikes of metal, and with a flick of her front leg the limb turned into a gun. “I, on the other hand, won’t be. Cause I’m Rainbine.”

Rainbat hit another baseball at the robotic Rainbow Dash. The ball bounced right off with a resounding clang. Rainbat blinked. “Er… Heheh…”

Rainbine pointed her gun at Rainbat. “And like that you’re dead.”

Scouty rushed her, bringing his bat down on her wings, also to no effect. As a reward for his efforts, he got the explosive bullet instead of Rainbat. The explosion wasn’t a dead-ringer on Scouty, but blood flew from his midsection and he collapsed.

“Scouty!” Flutterfree yelled, running to him.

“Oh boy, look at the other one,” Rainbine said, aiming her gun at Flutterfree. “Nighty night!”

Nova shot Rainbine with a magic laser, a move which did have some effect. She grabbed Rainbine in her telekinesis and rammed her to the ground as hard as she could manage. “You don’t get to do that, machine.”

Rainbine grunted. “You’re… Pretty good with that magic…”

“You have no idea.” She pushed down harder. “I wonder how long it’ll take for you to give up.”

“Never!” Rainbine struggled, putting her hooves beneath her and pushing up. She slowly rose to an upright position. “See? I can-“

Nova twitched her head, pushing Rainbine back to the ground. “I’m not using anywhere near my full power.”

It was at this moment the Applejack decided she was done devouring pills. She bucked Nova across the face, making her lose concentration on Rainbine. Rainbine may have been a bit of a knucklehead, but she knew when to take an opportunity. She pinned Nova to the ground, gun pointed at her neck.

“Nice going Applepills! You did something useful!” Rainbine laughed. She prodded Nova. “You turned your back on the enemy!”

“So did you,” Rainbat muttered, barreling into the robot from the side at high speed. Rainbine took the charge and didn’t budge.

Rainbine rolled her eyes. “All that accomplished was a headache for you.”

Nova teleported herself out of Rainbine’s grasp, appearing on the roof of a nearby building. She lit her horn again – teleporting Rainbat, Scouty, and Flutterfree away. She stood alone against the crazy ponies.

Applepills cocked her head. “Did… You just teleport away your help?”

“They were just putting themselves in danger,” Nova said, pulling the drone out of her saddlebags and activating it. “I also don’t think I need them to take you on.”

The Derpy decided now was the time to fire, unleashing a stream of bullets at Starlight. The drone was able to catch them all.

Nova smirked. “Nice try. So, You’re Rainbine, you’re Applepills, and you…?”

“Derpigun,” Derpigun said, aiming her gun again. “And I’ll mow you down eventually.”

“No, you won’t,” Nova said. She cast a lightning bolt spell, hitting Derpigun’s gun. Part of it exploded, tossing her to the side. With a quick spell, she tossed Applepills into the same pile. “Those two weren’t a threat.”

Rainbine grinned. “You can tell I am though.”

Nova nodded. “But you don’t know who I am.”

“You’re Starlight,” Rainbine said.

Nova smirked. “I’m Nova. I’m hardly your normal Starlight. You see, I’m not from this world.”

Rainbine raised an eyebrow. “So Brutalight was right…”

“Hrm? Who was right about what?”

“Nevermind. Maybe if you beat me I’ll tell you!”

Nova grinned. “Gladly.” She grabbed Rainbine in telekinesis again and pushed her into the ground. “Dangerous as you are, you won’t be able to get up without any help.”

Rainbine managed to shift her gun so it pointed at Nova, firing. The drone caught the bullet.

“Hey! That’s not fair! You have help!”

“I invented this thing myself. I have a right to use it.” Nova shrugged. “Though I doubt you ever play fair.”

Rainbine tried to stand up – and was pushed into the ground harder. She sunk into the sandy dirt about two inches at one point. “Are you ever going to run out of magic?!”

“Doubt it,” Nova said. “Magic’s strong here and I’m still not crushing you with all my might.”

“Mmmf.”

“So, I think you’ve lost, care to enlighten me about what you were talking about earlier?”

Rainbine started roaring at the top of her lungs.

Nova glanced around, trying to see if she was calling for help from anywhere – but no ponies appeared. She could hear gunfire in the distance, possibly from another intrusion point, probably some more dangerous ponies that could break through an outer perimeter easily. She turned back to her opponent. “What are you doing?”

She just kept roaring.

“Are you upset you lost? Really? I mea-“

Rainbine’s ‘coat’ transformed into a brilliant white, while her ‘mane’ stood upright and became more vibrant. Power surged off of her like she was a magic battery.

Nova’s eye twitched at the trick. She pushed down harder – hard enough for her horn to gain a two layered magical aura. Rainbine stood strong, smirking. Nova went all the way to three-layer telekinesis before giving up.

“Nice trick,” Nova admitted.

“Thanks. I like to call it ‘super-mode’. It’s awesome.”

Nova went for something more direct, blasting Rainbine with a powerful magic laser. Rainbine deflected the burst of energy with a swipe of her hoof.

Rainbine moved absurdly quickly, flanking behind Nova and hitting her off the roof like she were some baseball and Rainbine’s gun was the bat. Nova struggled to stand up – but once again Rainbine had her pinned, gun to the unicorn’s neck. “Any last words, Nova?”

“Yeah. Boo.”

Rainbine blinked. “…What?”

The undead robot bear that was the Nightmare plowed through Rainbine, Flutterfree riding his back. His screeching drove fear into Nova once again, but at least he was here to save them this rather than scare them. A few human soldiers revealed their positions around Rainbine, pointing their guns at her.

Nightmare pointed a claw. “Machine versus machine, surrounded.”

Rainbine smirked. “You know what? This might actually be fun!”

Nova lit her horn. “You bet it’ll be fun. Not for you though.”

Rainbine flew into the air, firing in several directions at once, knocking the human soldiers to the side with ease. “You were saying?”

Nova fired a laser that Rainbine dodged easily, only for the Nightmare to latch onto her legs and drag her to the ground. He drove a claw into her side, puncturing the mechanical skin, drawing oil rather than blood.

Rainbine yelled out in pain, bucking Nightmare with a force far higher than that of any earth pony. His metallic chest dented and he fell onto his back. Rainbine readied her gun, but a magical explosion from Nova drove her back.

Rainbine landed, holding her wounded side. “You’re all dead.”

“I doubt it,” Nova responded. “Seems like you’re on the defensive.”

Rainbine pointed her gun. “We’ll see about that.”


~~~


Pinkie rode Pepsi Man into battle. “CHAAAAAAARGE!” He moved more than fast enough to get to a front in a matter of seconds. They were graced with the sight of a Rarity with bright pink hair, a gauntlet on her hoof, and a small hat to the side of her horn. She decapitated an Applejack Engineer, taking the hard hat for herself.

This is when Pepsi Man smashed a can of Pepsi in the Rarity’s face, the force of the impact knocking her onto her back. “What in the…?” She said in a soft, almost inaudible voice.

Pinkie took a giant frying pan out of her mane. “Hey Rarifruit! I’m Pinkie Pie. I’ve got a frying pan and I’m pretty sure it’s got your name on it! Whaddo you say we experiment and see if you’ve got this frying pan’s name on your face?”

“Celestia, you’re one of those shits,” Rarifruit muttered. She glanced around. “Pinkis I could really use you right about now-“

The frying pan made contact with Rarifruit’s face, letting out a clang that signified the perfect match of head and cookware. Pinkie giggled. “Oh, I’m sure Pinkis will be around eventually. But you know we have to start with a curb-stomp!”

Rarifruit narrowed her eyes. She lifted her gauntlet and ripped the frying pan from Pinkie’s hooves. “Your turn.”

Pepsi Man kicked the frying pan out of Rarifruit’s grasp. He pointed his hands forward, unleashing a jet of Pepsi powerful enough to sweep her like an ocean wave. “…I feel violated.”

“Oh no, don’t say that!” Pinkie said. “Pepsi Man’s a bro!”

Rarifruit summoned two giant, magical claws and grabbed Pepsi Man. “I will tear you apart!”

“…You’re yelling, but you’re still strangely quiet,” Pinkie observed.

“Shut the hell up.” She tried to move her claws apart and rip Pepsi Man in half, but his strength was too much. He just broke out and threw another can into Rarifruit’s face. He then tripped on a rock and fell face-first into the ground.

Pinkie facehooved. “Of course.” She produced a squeaky hammer. “So, Rarifruit, want to stop killing people?”

“What? No!”

“Yeah, thought so.” She swung her hammer, but Rarifruit caught it in her magic claws. Pinkie appeared behind Rarifruit and threw a fish net over her, tangling up her legs.

“I got a Raritrout! Woo!”

“I’m the only one who gets to catch the Raritrout…” A new, deeper, louder voice said.

“Ah, Pinkis,” Pinkie said, not bothering to turn around, instead deflecting one of Rarifruit’s claws with a pink broom. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“You’re… One of them. The odd ones. The ones that know things they shouldn’t.”

Pinkie gasped, turning around. “And you don’t?”

Pinkis – a dark reddish-pink version of Pinkie Pie with a flattened mane – scowled at Pinkie. “No. I happen to be a respectable pony and not a stupid, fucking enigmatic bitch!”

Pinkie whistled. “Don’t let Alushy hear that one! It’ll ruin the joke.”

“What joke?”

“Fudgemothering vampire.”

“Screw it,” Pinkis muttered, charging Pinkie. Pinkie simply appeared behind her, bopping her on the head with a squeaky hammer. Pinkis appeared behind her, biting down on Pinkie’s ear. She tried to bite it clean off, but only managed to draw some blood.

Pinkie reacted by putting on her Bomb Mask and exploding. Pinkis, unsurprisingly, failed to see this coming and was launched into the air, landing on top of Rarifruit. Pinkie bowed. “I bet everyone was wondering when that would make a comeback!”

Pinkis rushed Pinkie, driving her hoof right into the party pony’s chest. Pinkie yelped, flying high into the air – right into one of Rarifruit’s claws. She wormed her way out like a rubber snake, but Pinkis was ready for that. Glowing with an intense red energy, she grabbed Pinkie in midair and tossed her into a wall hard enough to kill a pony.

Pinkie bounced back from her flattened state and shook her head. “Okay, ow.”

Pinkis twitched. “I hate your kind. You make me get creative.”

“Why don’t you like using your abilities? I’ve hardly seen you jump around or pull things out of nowhere at all!”

“None of your goddammed business!” Pinkis yelled. Still charged with red energy, she punched toward Pinkie again. Pinkie dodged, but Pinkis was expecting this, twisting a hoof behind her to knock Pinkie to the ground. She placed a hoof on Pinkie’s neck. “Did you know that the meat of Pinkies tastes like cotton candy?”

“Yeah.”

“Screw you.” Pinkis opened her mouth, aiming for Pinkie’s neck. Pepsi Man stood up to help, but a magic hand came out of nowhere and pinned him to the ground.

Rarifruit walked up alongside Pinkis, smiling. This gave the evil pink pony pause. “Wait, weren’t you in the net?”

“Surprise,” Rarifruit said, stabbing Pinkis in the neck.

Pinkis recoiled, her red energy healing the wound quickly. “What the hell?” She glanced at the net – only to see a Rarifruit inside.

The other Rarifruit shrugged, revealing herself to be a Rarispy. “Not as lethal as I was hoping, but still satisfying.”

Rarifruit groaned from under the net. “Pinkis, what are you waiting for? Eat her!”

Pinkis charged the Rarispy, only for a blue magic shield to protect the unicorn. Renee adjusted her hat and smirked as she walked onto the scene. “I’m afraid we can’t have cannibalism here, that just wouldn’t be proper.”

Pinkis appeared next to Rarifruit in her net. She bit through the ropes, freeing Rarifruit. She was hit by a bullet from somewhere nearby, but the red power healed it right away.

The Rarispy frowned. “Ubercharge. Nothing we do is going to hurt her.”

“And she’s a Pinkie,” Renee said. “Trapping her isn’t going to work.”

Pinkie produced her real warhammer. “I can take her.”

Pinkis appeared behind her. “Think so?”

Pinkie appeared behind her, grinning. “Yep!”

Pinkis appeared behind her, again.

Pinkie did the same. “I think we’re in a feedback loop.”

Pinkis just tackled Pinkie to the ground, but instead of a successful pin the two tumbled around as a pink ball of fluff.

Rarifruit pointed at Renee’s hat. “Mine.”

“Dear, no. This is what makes me Renee rather than just some Rarity.”

Rarifruit summoned her hands and lunged for the hat, but Renee raised numerous magic shields to protect herself. Rarifruit blinked. “What? Rarities never learn combat magic!”

“I’ve had two years of danger to make me learn,” Renee said, retaliating with a laser. “I may not be powerful, but I can keep a lot of spells going at once.” A handful of magic shields orbited her body, and her horn kept firing lasers at Rarifruit. Some made contact, pushing the greedy Rarity back.

The Rarispy fired her gun, hitting Rarifruit in the back leg. Rarifruit softly wailed, falling to the ground, glaring at the blood like it somehow insulted her. Another gun was fired from an unknown location, hitting her other back leg.

“Where’s the other one!?” Rarifruit yelled in her strangely quiet voice.

“Ma soeur’s not going to reveal her location to you.”

Pinkie and Pinkis tumbled back into the fight, landing on Rarifruit – driving even more pain into her wounds. Pepsi Man finally managed to get back up, dousing Pinkis in a torrent of Pepsi, forcing it down her ravenous mouth. She couldn’t get out of the torrent of soft drink.

“THIS IS STUPID!” She yelled, trying to move forward, but instead just falling back with the torrent of soda.

Pinkie giggled. “Yeah it is!” She brought the warhammer down on Pinkis, flattening her. She got back up with her Ubercharge, grunting.

Then the other Rarispy showed up and drove a small sword through Pinkis’ skull. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped onto the ground.

Renee blinked. “Is she…?”

“No,” both Rarispies and Pinkie said. Already the wound was healing.

“Ah.” Renee let out a sigh of relief. “How are we going to deal with her then?”

Pinkie tapped her hooves together. “I suggest we-“ Her eyes widened suddenly. She acted as quickly as she could – slapping a pair of sound blocking headphones on herself and pressing the skulls of Renee and a Rarispy together, blocking all sound she could manage.

A Fluttershy with a red mane, white tail, and red striped top hat dropped from the sky. Her red and blue eyes focused on all of them. She took a breath – and shouted. Pinkie, Renee, and one Rarispy was fine. Pepsi Man didn’t have ears. But the other Rarispy…

The other Rarispy dropped her weapon. Blood shot out of her ears and her eyes rolled into the back of her skull. The blood in the air vibrated with the frequency of an intense sound the ponies could feel shifting around inside their own bodies.

“SOEUR!” Rarispy – the only Rarispy – yelled out, a cry unheard over the vocal assault.

Pepsi Man charged the Fluttershy, but she directed her voice directly at him. She may not have been able to blow his brains out with her sound, but her voice was powerful enough to knock him down. She turned to the three living ponies and Stared at them.

“Running time!” Pinkie said, dragging Renee and Rarispy away by their heads.

She knew they were being pursued.

Pinkie hoped there was a sniper somewhere to take the Fluttershy out. Otherwise Pinkie was pretty sure they were doomed. All it took was one scream…


~~~


Carter looked on in horror at what was happening. She couldn’t see much, but her security cameras showed her Pinkie fleeing, somehow dragging Renee and a Rarispy with her, their heads pressed together. A Fluttershy was chasing them. She had seen a version of Pinkie eat a man earlier, a gray pegasus with a gun mow others down, and… And so far the only hint of success was a brief report that Nova had subdued two of the intruders and was working on a third. She’d heard nothing after that.

“Alternate versions of us…” Twilight said, glancing out the window.

Uni shivered. “Unlike any we’ve seen before.” She saw an alicorn version of Twilight appear on a screen, stab a half-dozen humans with swords, and teleport away.

Carter turned to Twilight. “Charter, make sure the Mirror Portal is closed. I don’t know what they want, but we can’t chance them leaving the universe.”

Twilight nodded. “I’m coming too!” Uni said. Without a word, Twilight teleported the two of them to the Mirror Portal’s location. The shimmering wooden plank indicated it was open. With a quick spell, Twilight reached for the controls on the other side, setting them to another location.

She pulled out her dimensional device. “Anyone who comes here, we evacuate.”

Uni nodded. “What about the… enemies?”

Twilight glared. “We stop them.”

“Right. We will stop them! With you on our side, there’s no way we can-“

A green sword impaled Uni in the chest. Twilight was already readying the dimensional device to throw her to Equestria, where Uni could get advanced medical treatment, but the unicorn’s entire body turned brown, losing all its fleshy appearance, becoming a lifeless solid. She tipped over like a statue, eyes lifeless.

The green sword vanished. An alicorn strode into the room, sneering. Her coat was a darker purple than Twilight’s, her mane a bluer shade with streaks of deep crimson in it rather than pink. She pointed at Twilight. “I take it you’re the Charter. I’m Brutalight Sparc-.”

Twilight flared her wings and stood tall. She decided there was no need for talking, jumping right to a magical laser directed at Brutalight’s face. She deflected it with a magic shield of her own - but Twilight was expecting this, creating a small magical explosion right beneath the dark alicorn. While Brutalight was in the air, struggling to gain control of her momentum, Twilight created a complex structure of magical rings beneath the dark alicorn. Spires of magic shot from the ground, chaining her wings, hooves, and horn to the ground.

Twilight stepped forward, and completed the magic seal on Brutalight. She placed a hoof on Brutalight’s head. “Why are you here?”

Brutalight started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing really. Just that you think you’ve won.” A glowing sword appeared and cut right through the chain on Brutalight’s horn, freeing it. “See, not all my abilities are purely magic. Unlike yours.” With a flash of her horrendous magic, she was free. She fired her own laser at Twilight. Twilight met it with her purple laser, both providing equal magical power in their spells.

Unfortunately Twilight didn’t also have fancy swords. She had to dodge an incoming blade, but that dodge allowed Brutalight’s power to overwhelm her. Twilight soon found herself chained to the ground, her magic sealed. She glared right at Brutalight, unfaltering.

Brutalight grabbed the dimensional device. “I’ll be taking this.”

“We could have just taken you out of universe if that’s what you wanted!” Twilight shouted. “You didn’t need to do this killing!”

Brutalight looked at the deceased form of Uni. “Oh, you liked her did you? Shame. Grow up, ponies die.”

“Not where I’m from.”

“I know that, Charter. I’m not from this world either.”

Twilight blinked. “You aren’t?”

“Oh no, I came from a nice peaceful Equestria. Course, I was a unicorn. Then I was here. And boy was here good fun. But it wasn’t home.” She levitated the dimensional device and smirked. “The thing is, we couldn’t have asked to leave. Because you’d ask why or tell us where to go. But we want to make our rampage mean something. We want to return home – and then, after taking care of that world, move on to the next. And the next. And the next. The Elements of Insanity will finally carry some weight beyond the confines of this bizarre, senseless world…”

The dimensional device exploded.

“Oh, look what you did,” Alushy said, revealing her position at the window, a smoking gun pointed right at where the dimensional device had been a moment ago. “You just gave me a reason to care. I really must thank you for that; I’ve had a horrible case of bloodlust apathy lately. Unfortunately, this is quite possibly the worst thing that could happen to you-“

Brutalight blew Alushy’s head off, sending blood everywhere, spraying like a fountain that had been under pressure. “I am not in the mood for that.”

Twilight whimpered audibly – enough for Brutalight to smile again. “Well well well… It seems I’m going to have to go with plan B. There may be another device somewhere in this place, but I don’t think I have the time to look for one. But you… You are the Charter. Quite possibly the top of the top when it comes to other worlds. You’ll know how to open a portal without one.”

Twilight said nothing.

“I’m riiiiight…” She lit her horn, lifting Twilight up, turning the magical seal into a portable one, converting the ground-based chains into ones that wrapped around Twilight’s entire body. “And you’re going to tell me.”

“No.”

“Oh, it’ll only be a matter of time-“

There was a click and Brutalight felt a gun pressed into the back of her head.

“You know, when a bitch blows my head off, I choose to listen to the age-old golden rule. Since getting your head blown off is quite exhilarating, I simply have to return the favor.” Alushy pulled the trigger – and her gun jammed. “…What the-“

Brutalight fired a magical laser at Alushy, which she just took. Gallons of blood sprayed everywhere, far more than Alushy should have had in her tiny body. An entire leg was burnt off, but was slowly being reconstructed by a shadowy essence as Brutalight stared at it. “How did you survive?!” the alicorn demanded.

“Special kind of otherworld vampire,” Alushy said. She dodged an incoming sword. “Woah, calm your noggin point! I’m not in the mood to experiment with my immortality today. Perhaps later, once you’ve gotten to know me, we can see what one of those stabby things can do.”

Alushy fired a few rounds at Brutalight only for the bullets to disintegrate the moment they got within an inch of her. Brutalight sneered. “You’re interesting, but you can’t do anything to me.”

Alushy sighed. “Ponies usually stop or deflect the bullets, not destroy them. It’s like you’re grinding up my babies.” She cracked her neck, adjusted her hat, and pushed her glasses further up her nose. “Time for some complete bullshit attack from me. Level one, of course.”

“…Level one?”

Alushy grinned, revealing many menacing rows of teeth that were far, far too sharp. “Ah, there it is. The first hint of worry.” Her dark essence began to swirl around her, dozens of red eyes appearing within the choking, black mist. Blades began to form from the dark power, reaching for Brutalight.

Brutalight teleported herself and Twilight away.

Alushy dropped the shadow powers and blinked. “…Well fudge.”


~~~


Brutalight appeared over the fleeing Pinkie, not paying her any mind. “Fluttershout, it’s time to fall back. I’ve got what we need and they’re starting to regroup.”

Fluttershout looked up at Brutalight, stopping the chase without so much as a grunt. “Rarifruit’s down, and last I saw Pinkis she was having problems.”

“We’ll get them.” Brutalight teleported Fluttershout back to the base. She then dragged Twilight to another location, where Pinkis was trying to keep Rarifruit from bleeding out.

“We’re falling back,” Brutalight called. “Is Rarifruit going to be fine?”

“She needs fucking medical attention!” Pinkis shouted.

“I’ll teleport you to the base’s infirmary,” Brutalight said, doing just that. She then moved to Applepills, Derpigun, and Rainbine – who had clearly lost. Derpigun and Applepills were out cold in a pile, and Rainbine was being beaten by a Starlight, a nightmarish black bear, and a few loose humans and mercenaries who had shown up to assist.

Brutalight facehooved. “Falling back!” She yelled, teleporting the three of them away.

“Nova!” Twilight yelled from her imprisoned state.

Nova pulled back her horn and unleashed a torrent of dark, powerful magics at Brutalight. The dark alicorn simply teleported away.

They were no longer in Crosstown. Twilight didn’t know where they were, besides the fact that it was made of stone and very damp. Brutalight tossed the imprisoned Charter into a corner and created iron bars around her.

Brutalight glared at Twilight. “I’m going to go check on my friends now. You be a good girl and realize you can’t escape. By the time I’m back, I expect you to tell me everything you know about opening portals. Understand?”

Twilight didn’t dignify this with a response.

Brutalight grinned. “Oh good, I haven’t had a reason to torture anypony in a while. This’ll be fun.” In a puff of red magic, she was gone.

Twilight was alone.

She had no magic and was tied up by powerful chains. She could hardly move, much less think of a way to escape.

She was going to have to wait for a rescue. The only problem? They probably didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know where she was. She could have been anywhere on the planet!

…But she had hope in her friends. They wouldn’t leave her here.

She just wished they’d hurry.


~~~


Pinkie kicked down the door to the command building, deposited Renee and Rarispy on the ground, then passed out on the floor.

Carter looked at Renee. “What happened?”

Renee held Rarispy close. “We lost. The only reason we’re still alive is because they fell back. That Fluttershout would have found a way to scream in our ears eventually, and we’d be… We’d be…”

Carter took one look at Rarispy’s expression and the absence of her sister and put two and two together. She leaned down and looked Rarispy in her eyes. “We’re gonna get these bastards.”

Alushy barged in through the already open doorway, mildly irked that there was no door for her to knock in. “You really do have to. They took Charter Twilight.”

Carter looked right at her. “What?”

“Their ‘leader’, Brutalight, wanted a dimensional device. I shot Twilight’s device out of her disgusting grasp, so she took Twilight instead, thinking she’d know how to open one with magic.”

“She does,” Renee said. “She doesn’t have enough power within herself, but if they can find a power source…”

“Why do they want one?” Carter asked.

“Couple reasons, all equally fascinating,” Alushy responded. “Let’s see… They want to return to their world and burn it to the ground, they want to go to other worlds to subjugate them with their insanity, and they want to get away from the pointless war in this world. They also call themselves the Elements of Insanity, and I can’t for the life of me imagine why…”

“You’re undead,” Renee pointed out.

“And Miss Detective has detected part of the joke. You win a cookie.”

Nova and Flutterfree appeared in the room by way of teleportation. “What happened!? I saw one of them with Twilight!” Nova shouted.

“You all just got the shit kicked out of you and I didn’t get my kill,” Alushy said.

Renee took a breath. “The… ‘Elements of Insanity’ came for a dimensional device, it was destroyed, so they took Twilight so she could tell them what to do. We have no idea where they went and no idea how to find her.”

Nova facehooved. “I should have traced that teleport…”

“You had no time to think,” Flutterfree said. “None of us did…”

Rarispy stamped her hoof. “I’m going to make them pay… Personally… That Fluttershout has an evisceration date with my weapon…”

Pinkie shot up, suddenly full of energy. “We’re going to get her back!” She produced a pink, glitter covered knife and drove it into the table for punctuation. “I’m taking a team out to get her.”

“Do you know where she is?” Carter asked.

“Not the foggiest idea! But we can find out!”

Alushy raised an eyebrow. “Nobody has the slightest idea where they came from, much less where they went. Are you suggesting a random jaunt around the world demanding information? I’m all for that, but I’m not known for my practicality.”

Rarispy raised a hoof. “There’s a place ma soeur and I stayed before we came here. One of the Mann Co. factories. They liked to keep tabs on unusual happenings, they might have something. If they’re… cooperative.”

Pinkie grinned. “That’s a start! We head out immediately! Who’s with me?”

“Road trip!” Alushy shouted.

Rarispy nodded wordlessly.

Renee and Nova stepped forward without hesitation.

Flutterfree looked behind her. “…I don’t think I’ll be good at a rescue mission. I think the people here need my help more. I want to come, though.”

Renee put a hoof on her shoulder. “Flutterfree, we understand. Help how you can here.”

Carter turned to Pinkie. “I can send you with a full contingent.”

Pinkie shook her head. “Sorry, but no.”

“…Why?”

Alushy twirled her guns. “They’ll just get killed, trust me. Not to mention be very suspicious. We’re not just a rescue mission; we’re also a badass information hunting party. A small army would not help by any stretch of your imagination. We need a small unit, like they had, to invade them effectively and get out with what we want. I honestly think I could do the whole thing by myself but it never hurts to have a few bullet sponges around.”

Renee shot Alushy a look.

“Not apologizing.”

“There’s five, that’s good enough,” Pinkie said. “Carter, we’re leaving now. Keep the fort held down, kay?”

Carter nodded.

“Flutterfree, save some lives with your first aid.”

Flutterfree saluted. “Won’t let you down, Pinkie!”

Pinkie pointed to Nova. “Teleport us to the edge of Crosstown. We’re heading out into the world to face the representatives of Insanity.”

Nova lit her horn, dragging Pinkie, Rarispy, Renee, and Alushy with her.

Renee grabbed her heart. “Uh… Just give me a… Moment…”

Rarispy looked ahead, coldly. “We have a moment now. We won’t in the future.”

Renee shook her head. “How can they kill with such… brutality? Uncaring? It meant nothing to her – wasn’t even enjoyable – it was just casual. Normal.”

Alushy, for once in her life, lost her smile. “Some ponies are like me. Death comes so naturally to them that it’s just a part of life, part of them. Sometimes you need that. Other times it’s just a fudging danger to society. In case you can’t tell this is why the Colonel isn’t just letting me walk out of here.” She gestured at a few soldier bodies nearby. “She’s afraid of this getting loose.”

Nova frowned at Alushy. “Is she wrong to think that?”

Alushy ignored the question. “Where’s the Mann Co, Rarispy?”

Rarispy pointed straight ahead. “A long way that direction. I recommend traveling by teleport jumps if we want to get there within the day.”

Nova took a breath. “That would be taxing…”

“We could just take the car,” Pinkie suggested.

“What car?”

A large white van suddenly came flying out of a nearby garage, Pepsi Man at the wheel. He gestured for them to get in.

“It’s a literal road trip!” Alushy clapped. “I call roof seat!”

“Nopony will fight you for that,” Renee observed, trotting toward the van. Everypony quickly got in, Alushy on top, Pinkie in the passenger side, and the other three loaded in the back.

Pinkie beeped the horn. “AWAY WE GO! WE’RE COMING, TWILIGHT!”

Renee looked out the window, her vision glossing over. “Yes… We’re coming…”

Rarispy looked down at her hooves, wordless. Nova stared off into space, contemplating all the carnage she had just witnessed.

That they had all just witnessed.

There would be no coming back from this event in their lives. They could never look at things the same way again.


~~~


Flutterfree pulled on a belt as hard as she could manage, tightening it around Rainbat’s leg. The blue pegasus unleashed a horrendous scream from the sudden pain, letting out tears despite considerable effort not to.

Flutterfree hugged her. “I’m sorry, that hurt a lot… But it’ll heal better this way, okay?”

“I know… Ergh…” Rainbat carefully laid back down on the gurney, moaning. “Just… Get to the others now. I’ll be fine.”

Flutterfree knew Rainbat was right, she would be fine. But there were others in the makeshift hospital that weren’t going to be fine. She surveyed the twelve gurneys that had been set out in a garage, next to the medical supplies. Just an hour ago, before the attack, there had only been one gurney in here. Nobody had expected twelve patients.

…Eleven, now. An Applejack Engineer had been carted out. Flutterfree never even got to look at her to see what had been wrong. There was only the empty bed to remember her by. A mare Flutterfree had probably only seen for a couple minutes was haunting her for much more than that already.

Flutterfree shook her head – she was one of the nurses here, she may not be as trained as the professional doctor on staff, but she did know what she was doing. She moved on to the next bed – the one that held Scouty.

“Ay, Flutterfree, how you doin’?”

“Better than you, certainly,” Flutterfree said, walking up to Scout with a jar of medical pills. “You already got these, right?”

“Of course not-“

Flutterfree raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. Yeah, I did.”

She looked at his bloodsoaked shirt, expression shifting to one of concern. “Can I see?”

“There’ll never be a day I’ll say no to a woman asking to take my shirt off.”

Flutterfree rolled her eyes. “You humans and clothing…” She lifted the shirt up, looking at the wound. It was still bleeding, despite all the gauze already wrapped around it. The flow of blood was slowed, but Flutterfree knew a horrible wound when she saw one. Scouty might survive this, but Flutterfree didn’t think the odds were good.

“I know that face,” Scouty said.

“I…” Flutterfree shook her head – she wasn’t going to try to lie, not right now. “It doesn’t look good. You need to get to a healing mage. I’m going to see if we can get you offworld…”

“Hey, I’m not complainin’ if it saves my ass.”

Flutterfree did some dressing of Scouty’s minor wounds before walking up to the doctor – a Medic class mercenary, complete with glasses, labcoat, and a frantic look in his eyes. He had just completed an amputation for a Twilight Sniper. “Yes, vhat is it?”

“We need to get some of these patients offworld.”

“I sent vord to ze Colonel for the portal device, it should be arriving soon...”

As the words left his mouth, a Pinkie Engineer popped in, grimacing. “Er… It seems that, well, uh… Yeah, the dimensional devices? We think some of our people fled with them. The few we had are gone. Colonel’s personal one wasn’t in her office. We’re… trying to find out who’s missing, or if anyone has a stash.”

The Medic menacingly snapped his gloves. “Then zis will be very difficult.”

“Any mediguns?” Fluttersk asked.

The Medic grit his teeth. “The three ve had vere destroyed in ze battle, along vith most ze other Medics Favorite snack of ze pink one.”

Flutterfree looked back at Scouty. “Is there any way we can get another one?”

“You vant to try to pry a medigun from its Medic? You’re crazier than I am. Too dangerous, take too long…”

Flutterfree furrowed her brow. “…I may have an idea.”

“You are free to try,” the Medic said. “All ze small care is taken care of here. If you can get ze medigun, you will save zem all.”

Flutterfree nodded. “Just you wait Scouty, I’m going to get you something!”

“Wait, no, don’t go after the medigun! Flutterfree!”

She was already out the door, flying across the sky. She knew she couldn’t do this alone – but she didn’t plan on it. She knew just who to ask for help.

She dropped down right in front of the cellar doors, throwing them open with her wings. She rushed down the stairs and sat down. “Hey, Nightmare?”

There was no response, but she knew he was listening.

“There are people dying out there. The battle’s over, but there are injuries. We’re out of mediguns. We need to go get one. I can’t do it myself, but I think that, together, we could.”

Still no response.

“I know you care about this place, Nightmare. When it was under attack, you rushed to defend it. You fought valiantly. I’m just asking you to come out for a little while to help once more.”

“…All right,” he said, coming out into the light. “Get on.”

Flutterfree flew onto his back, carefully arranging her hooves so they wouldn’t brush against any of his sharp, pointy bits. She smiled at him from the side. “I knew you could do it.”

“Haven’t done it yet.”

“True. We need to hurry though.”

Nightmare didn’t need to be told twice – he burst out of the cellar, running as fast as his mechanical legs could carry him, which was to say considerably faster than a regular human being. He splayed his claws and let out a deep battlecry. Flutterfree laughed.

A few other people screamed.

Nightmare was used to this reaction.


~~~


The Mann Co. factory was a set of flat, industrial buildings surrounding a tall corporate skyscraper with the words MANN CO printed at the very top, so high up it was somewhat difficult to read from the ground. The sun was approaching the horizon, casting the skyscrapers in a silhouette that would only get more intense as the day progressed.

“This the place?” Alushy asked, poking her head through a window.

“Yes,” Rarispy responded. “Parking’s through that security gate. Just pull up and let me do the talking.”

Pepsi Man did as instructed, driving up to the gate and stopping.

There was a young woman in glasses at the gate. The raised her eyebrows at the strange man. “…You can’t talk can you?”

“No, but he’s got one hell of a body!” Alushy said. “Let it do the talking, little lady.”

Rarispy sighed. “Ignore them, they’re hooligans. I’m Rarispy L M N Three Asterisk Dash Two. I should be in there with a footnote along the lines of ‘feisty’.”

The woman flipped through her pages. “You are here… But it’s L M N Three Asterisk Dash One who has that note.”

“Ah. She… Was probably pretending to be me that day. Or vice versa.” She sighed.

The woman lowered her glasses looking right to Rarispy. “You aren’t here looking for revenge, are you?”

“Wasn’t killed by a Red or Blue,” Rarispy said. “We’re looking for information.”

The woman sat back. “You are authorized to continue. I will have to record your friends though. A standard Pepsi Man, Rarity, Starlight, Pinkie, and…” she looked at Alushy. “What are you?”

“Just put me down as ‘the best fudging thing in existence’. Esquire.”

Renee rolled her eyes. “Just put down ‘Alushy’, Dear. I go by Renee and the Starlight goes by Nova.”

“Got it.” The gate’s red and white bar lifted up. “Pick a spot, any spot, and lock your doors. Mann Co. is not responsible for any stolen property in any way.”

“Of course,” Rarispy said. Pepsi Man took control of the van and pulled into the parking lot. The vast majority of vehicles within the parking lot looked like simple corporate cars, though there were enough other cars for the eye keep itself entertained. There were cars designed to operate in wasteland apocalypse conditions, hover cars, military vehicles, and even a couple of miniature helicopters.

Pepsi Man pulled into a random spot and let them all out. They were in the ominous shadow of the main skyscraper, easily feeling dwarfed by the immense perceived power of the company.

“Question,” Nova began. “If there’s no central government, no organization in this world, how does this company exist?”

“It exists in several places,” Rarispy answered. “It’s not as common as a Red and Blu war, but it’s the source of all their weapons, ammo, and technology. Most instances of the company gladly take part in the wars, ‘selling’ weapons to both sides and building them with a seemingly unlimited supply of material. This particular instance of Mann Co. is aware of the nature of this world. They don’t seek to change it though, but rather exploit it.”

“That doesn’t sound very nice!” Pinkie commented.

“No, it isn’t. They still egg on the war, but they also provide technology to others, and have their own mercenaries that can be rented out to defend actual settlements from the war.”

Renee frowned. “Exploitative… But better than outright war, I suppose.”

Rarispy shook her head. “We aren’t here to question their ethics, which are almost nonexistent. They’ve got a lot of information. They know who comes in and out of here, and what’s going on in the world. They’re well aware of Crosstown, for instance.”

Nova nodded. “So we ask them what they know about the ‘Elements of Insanity’… How exactly?”

“We walk in and ask. Reception is usually pretty efficient.”

Alushy gawked. “A big corporate conglomerate has efficient reception?”

“They deal in information a lot. The more people they see, the more information they get. The more customers and employees they get, the more power and money. It’s all about profit. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” Renee asked.

“The guy in charge is crazy.”

Alushy blinked. “Oh. Oh one of him? Oh ahahaahhhahhahahah! This is going to be rich.”

“We probably won’t meet him,” Rarispy told Alushy. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“My wings are already upright and ready.”

“I… Do not want to know,” Nova said.

“Sucks to be you.”

“Let’s move,” Rarispy grunted. “No causing trouble.”

Pinkie and Alushy exchanged glances before devolving into barely contained chuckling. Rarispy didn’t dignify this with a response. They walked across the parking lot and into the large glass doors of the main Mann Co. building. Inside was a large lobby filled with dozens of people – surprisingly few of which were mercenaries, and none of which were easily identifiable as Red or Blu. Renee did suppose it wouldn’t be good for business to have shootouts in the lobby.

Instead, there were a large quantity of ponies, people with brightly colored hair and big eyes, some brightly colored animals with shoes on, and a handful of even stranger things. It was an interesting sight to see, to say the least.

“Uh, hey!” a girl with a red and black dress who was carrying a large mechanical scythe said, walking up to them. “Do you know where the, uh… ammunition depository is?”

Rarispy nodded. “Seventeenth floor, room seven.”

“Thank you!” She dashed off, scrambling to one of the elevators.

“…Ammunition Depository?” Nova asked.

“There are so many different kinds of weapons,” Rarispy said. “Mann Co. doesn’t forge all kinds of ammunition, but chances are all kinds of ammunition can be found out there. Anything you find that you can’t use, you drop in the depository and Mann Co. will pay you for it. Anything in the depository, you can buy.”

“That seems useful,” Renee mused.

“Pansies don’t do any of their own hunting,” Alushy muttered. “Get your own damn bullets. Or, better yet, just get one of those cloning sacks. Never-ending ammunition.”

Pinkie shrugged, pulling out a squeaky hammer and twirling it around. “I wonder what that’s like…”

“Cheeky.”

Rarispy grunted, leading them to the reception desks, of which there were ten. One was already open, filled with a Rarity in pointed red-rimmed glasses. “Ah, what can I do for you… six? Is the large man with you?”

“Yep!” Pinkie said, walking up next to Rarispy. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and this is Rarispy L M N Three Asterisk Dash One! I think you can look her up, easy.”

“Of course…” the Rarity said, typing away at a nearby computer with her telekinesis. “It looks like you’re marked as one of our investors, though you haven’t paid a visit in a while.”

“I left,” Rarispy said. “Guess the man didn’t change the records.”

“Maybe. I think it’s more likely he just always expected you to come back. What can I do for you?”

“Looking for some information!” Pinkie chirped. “Know anything about the Elements of Insanity? Six – er, wait, seven – ponies, quite crazy, not standard versions at all.”

The Rarity typed some things on her keyboard. “If we do, it’s not in the public database. It’ll probably cost something.”

“Need something killed? I’m good at that! Too good.” Alushy piped up.

“Shush,” Pinkie said. “Cost what?”

“I really don’t know, I’d have to transfer you to the information department. I…” She blinked in surprise as an alert appeared on her screen. “Oh. It looks as if Mister Hale wants to see you himself.”

Rarispy twitched. “How… Wonderful.”

“How wonderful!” Alushy echoed in a much more eager tone of voice.

The Rarity pointed at an elevator. “Top floor. The button should actually work for you.”

“Thank you!” Pinkie said, bouncing towards the elevator, leading the six of them along. They piled in and pressed the button for the top floor – 113. They barely felt the elevator lurch at all before they were at the top.

“…How…?” Nova wondered aloud.

“Don’t question it,” Pinkie said. “I’m not.”

“B-but…”

The doors slid open, revealing a wide space open to the sky above. Along the edges of the floor were walls with overhangs, protecting lavish couches, large tvs, and other indoor things from possible rain. The rest of the floor was one giant garden filled with exotic plants, the center holding a full size helicopter pad. There wasn’t a helicopter on the pad at the moment, but it was occupied.

There was a man wrestling a zombie pterodactyl. He popped its head off and tossed it over the edge of the skyscraper with ease, laughing the entire time. The man was beyond tall, more muscular than any human the ponies had ever seen, and wore nothing but cargo shorts, explorer boots, and a rugged hat. His chest was very exposed, revealing hair that took the shape of Australia, of all things.

He leaped into the air, crashing right in front of them, making some of the ground give way. He gave them a warm, if crazed, smile. “Aha! Welcome back, Rarispy!”

“…Yes.”

“I see you brought friends! In case you don’t already know, my name is Saxton Hale, and I am currently the only one of my breed to run a Mann Co. right!”

“Hell yes!” Alushy said, throwing her hooves in the air. “How’s about we have an arm wrestle?”

“YOU’RE ON!”

Pinkie pulled a table out of her mane and dropped it on the ground. Without pausing, the pony and the man sat at it, extending their limbs. Saxton’s was significantly larger than Alushy’s hoof, but they made it work.

“Three…” Pinkie began. “Two… One… GO!”

Both pushed. Alushy dropped her normal demeanor instantly, letting her teeth grow to full sharpness, her eyes glow as brightly as they could, her wings extend to agitated points. The shadowy power that was Alushy shot out of her like a shadowy vortex of pure power, filling the air around them with unholy eyes from beyond the grave.

Saxton Hale just pushed like a man- sweating, grunting, but holding firm.

“Saxton…” Rarispy muttered. “We don’t have time for this.”

“You know I never turn down a challenge!” Saxton Hale yelled, grinding his teeth. “First good arm wrestling match I’ve had in years!”

“It’s not even arm wrestling! That’s a leg!” Nova pointed out.

“Technicalities are for bitches!” Alushy grunted, her voice even deeper and more unholy than usual. “Granted, I’m a bitch, but I’m the kind of bitch that needs cannons, not technicalities.”

“I’ve got plenty of cannons here! You can have one, win or lose!”

“If I win will it be bigger?”

“I will invent a cannon bigger than all others for you if you win!”

Alushy’s aura became even more intense, somehow. “BIG CANNON, COME TO MAMA!”

Pepsi Man started doing cheerleading dances.

“This is stupid,” Rarispy muttered.

“…You’re not wrong,” Renee noted.

Saxton Hale’s hand began to drift downward toward the table. Alushy’s tongue shot out of her mouth, licking her lips with a vicious slurping sound. “Saxton… It’s coming…”

“That’s what you think!” Saxton Hale flexed his muscles and pushed back with newfound fury, driving Alushy’s hoof towards her side. With rage, she pushed back, holding her hoof an inch from the tabletop. She bit her lip, drawing blood – blood that charged her. She lifted Saxton’s hand back up, slowly…

“Come on…” Alushy grunted. “This man is but a mortal…”

Then her knee joint gave out. Her leg cracked and all resistance was lost. Her small, vampiric form was driven through the table, shattering it.

Saxton Hale shot one hand into the air. “Victory!” With the other, he offered to help Alushy up.

She laughed, taking his hand. Her broken leg repaired itself reasonably quickly, the pain clearly not enough to dampen her mood. “That was the best fudging arm wrestle I’ve ever had!”

Saxton Hale laughed. “It’s been one of my best as well – wait, ‘fudging’?”

“Do you know what swear word is supposed to go there?” Alushy demanded. “I need to know.”

Saxton Hale shrugged. “I’d just use good ol’ damn. Serves the purpose well.”

“But it isn’t strong enough!”

“If you need to rely on words to be strong enough you’ve got bigger problems than not knowing the right word!” he laughed.

Pinkie grinned. “I like him.”

The Raritys facehooved. Pepsi Man continued doing his dance.

“Why’d you call us up?” Rarispy asked.

“Well, I was just minding my own business, wrestling a yeti, when I get one of those notifications about one of the Rarispy sisters logging in without the other one. Not that odd, figured I’d get to see you later – but then you start asking for information that waves a red flag on the database? I just had to call you up, you understand.”

He moved to sit down, and Pinkie provided him with a chair. His jovial smile had vanished, replaced with a somber expression that his mustache made even dourer. “They got her, didn’t they?”

Rarispy nodded slowly. “The one known as Fluttershout. I take it you do know about them?”

“They’re a big nuisance. So big it’s probably fair to call them more than a nuisance,” he grunted. “The Elements of Insanity seemed to have it in their heads that the entire world was their oyster, to be conquered and brutalized as they wished. Entire teams of Reds and Blus, wiped right out easily. Settlements of all kinds brutally murdered for fun. Even Mann Co headquarters weren’t safe. It really was a terrifying rampage. But then they ran into us.”

“Didn’t go well for them?” Nova asked.

Saxton Hale smirked. “No it did not. I could tell they were very surprised they were forced to retreat. They’d clearly never lost a fight before – at least not one of their coordinated attacks. It was invigorating, showing that Brutalight that you don’t need magic to be an excellent warrior.”

“Pure manliness conquers all,” Alushy agreed.

“You got that right!”

“So what do you actually know about them?” Rarispy asked.

“Not much. We know their base is some castle over in the Haunted Territories. Don’t know which one, don’t really care since we don’t have any operations that far out. It’ll probably be easy to find once you get close though. Center of the area without anything living in it at all.”

“We know a bit more,” Renee said. “They’re not from this universe originally, and they want to escape. They currently have Charter Twilight.”

Pinkie gave Saxton Hale a cup of piping hot coffee. He took a sip and then did the spit-take. “The Charter Twilight was here? How did I not know of this?”

“She arrived today,” Nova pointed out.

“But I’m watching Crosstown.”

“What!?” Rarispy shouted.

Alushy raised an eyebrow. “You’re surprised by this?”

“I, well, er… No, not exactly.”

Renee frowned. “The Elements of Insanity may have attacked when they did because they intercepted your information. They’d been waiting for the right opportunity to strike.”

Saxton Hale rammed his fist into the floor, putting a crack in it. “They’ve made fools of us! That’s it, I was going to help you six as it was, but now I’m giving you a leg up. You get to take the Blackbird.”

“Mother of God, yes.” Alushy blurted. “Please tell me it’s what I’m thinking of.”

“A state of the art fighter jet equipped with every weapon we could slap on it?”

Alushy melted into the floor. “I can die happy. Oh wait, I did, and I am.”

Saxton Hale clapped his hands together. “Then it’s decided! I’ll get the runway ready, you all return to the lobby and mingle a bit!”

Nova blinked. “…Won’t you be going to the lobby with us?”

Saxton Hale laughed. “What man uses the elevator?” He jumped over the wall and started climbing down the side of the skyscraper. “Race. Go!”

Nova teleported them all back down to the lobby.

Saxton Hale landed on the ground outside a couple seconds later. He stuck his head in through the front doors. “WELL PLAYED!” he yelled.

Pepsi Man waved back. Saxton Hale gave him a thumbs up then ran across the parking lot.

“What a strange man…” Nova said.

“He’s insufferable…” Rarispy muttered.

“That’s a bit strong,” Renee said. “He seems a decent, if intense, sort.”

“Try living near him for a few months. It gets old fast. Really fast.”

Renee shrugged. “Perhaps…” She looked around, surveying the gathering in the lobby. “Something tells me there’s more to learn here, though…”

Pinkie looked at Renee. “Are you getting a Renee Sense?”

“I don’t think so. Just a… hunch.” She smirked. “I knew it, that mare over there is watching us. The Trixie. She’s trying not to make it obvious, and by doing that she’s making it obvious.”

Alushy flew into the air and landed behind the Trixie, holding a gun to her head. “Boo.”

“AUGH!”

“Relax, I won’t hurt you with them around. As long as you don’t annoy me.”

The Trixie whimpered.

Renee walked up to her, smirking. “Trixie, I presume?”

“M-magic Mare, actually…”

“…Not going to judge,” Renee commented. “I just want to know, why were you spying on us?”

“W-well, er… You were interesting! Yeah!”

Alushy pressed a gun to her skull.

“All right all right! I…” she gulped. “Look, I was looking for information on what the Elements of Insanity were doing, all right? I heard they attacked your compound and-“

“How did you hear?” Rarispy demanded.

“I’ve been following them for a while, okay? They… Killed my friend.”

Pinkie sighed. “Oh.”

Rarispy’s expression softened. “Same. They’ve hurt us all. And many, many others, from what I’ve heard.”

“Want to join us?” Pinkie asked. “They have our friend captured, we’re going to free her!”

“Uh…” Magic Mare shivered. “No, you can do that on your own. I…” She shook her head. “Can’t do it.”

“That’s okay. Alushy, please stop pointing the gun at her.”

“Oops, forgot I was doing that. Sorry-not-sorry,” Alushy responded.

“Anything you can tell us?” Renee asked.

“…There’s a graveyard near their castle. One of many, I think, but it’s an important and powerful one. You… Might want to go there first. It has a habit of showing you images of the past. It is very haunted though, so be careful.”

“I’m sure we can handle it,” Nova said. “We do have the biggest ‘fudgemothering vampire’ around, after all.”

“And suddenly I’m relevant,” Alushy said, grinning. “My ego has grown three sizes at your approval.”

“Thanks, Magic Mare,” Pinkie said. “I’m sure this will be helpful.”

Magic Mare smiled. “I hope you don’t die.”

“We won’t,” Rarispy said. “There’s been enough death on our side today…”

Saxton Hale rushed back into the lobby, forgetting the door was there. He ignored the shattered glass on the ground. “Hup hup! There’s a fighter jet with your names on it!”

Pinkie grinned. “Yay! See you Magic Mare!”

“…Bye.”

The six of them followed Saxton Hale to a runway. There, on the stretch of pavement, was a menacing black fighter jet with four engines, a cockpit that could easily fit a dozen people, and several fins that clearly served no practical purpose beyond coolness factor. The cutie marks of Renee, Nova, and Pinkie has been painted on the back fin alongside a Pepsi logo, Alushy’s glasses, and a knife inside a diamond for Rarispy. “There you go!”

Pinkie gasped. “Best present ever!” She took out the party cannon and unleashed a torrent of confetti everywhere.

Alushy glanced at the blue weapon. “I need to get me some of those and some hammerspace.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Maybe one day…”

Saxton Hale put his hands on his hips. “Anyway, in order to legally get you to fly this, I had to talk to a lawyer and figure out if I had any sort of rules set up for this kind of thing.”

A pony in a bunny hoodie nobody had noticed before took out a briefcase and held out a legal document.

Saxton Hale rubbed his hands together. “Right, so, all of us are here, what’s the requirement?”

“Boot to the head,” the pony said. A boot flew from nowhere and hit Saxton Hale in the head.

Saxton Hale blinked. “…I don’t remember writing that.”

The lawyer shrugged, folding up her briefcase and walking away. Pinkie snickered.

Saxton Hale shrugged. “So, who knows how to fly a fighter jet?”

Alushy raised her hoof. She was the only one.

“There’s your pilot everybody! Now go, lay waste to the enemy!”

Renee bowed. “Mister Hale, I doubt we can ever repay you enough.”

“If you deal a blow to those crazy ponies it’ll be payment enough, Lady Renee.”

Renee smiled. “See you soon, hopefully.”

“Can we go already?” Alushy said, already in the cockpit. “I don’t even have fingers to be triggery with and I’m positive I’m going to push this button accidentally with a point on my bat wing or something.”

Pinkie popped into the cockpit next to her. “Ooh, I wonder what this button does…”

This remark prompted everyone to scramble into the cockpit. Renee was still climbing in when the engines activated. She had time to sit down and buckle in before the Blackbird started moving.

Alushy laughed. “Christmas has come early! Hold on to your stomachs bitches, I’m not going to be pulling any punches with this bad girl!”

“Bitches and bastard,” Rarispy corrected.

“What?”

“Pepsi Man’s a guy, he’s a ba-“

Alushy floored the throttle, shutting Rarispy up. Alushy soon forgot the technical ruining of her joke and just kept laughing.

Pinkie was the only one who remained conscious through all the loopdeloops, swirls, and dives.


~~~


Twilight sat up straight in her cell, a sour expression on her face. Nothing had happened for the last several hours, and it was starting to drive her a little crazy. Maybe that was what they wanted – they were the ‘Elements of Insanity’ after all, perhaps this was all part of their plan. Drive her mad from isolation.

Luckily Twilight was one of those ponies that could go large stretches without interacting with anypony else. Not the most common trait of a self-described social species, and certainly an unusual one for the Princess of Friendship, but she found that it helped her deal with individuals who maybe weren’t sold in the magic of friendship. And it helped keep her own sanity intact during moments like this.

Maybe she could use it to get through to them. They may have been brutal and insane, but there was a possibility, however remote, that they could be salvaged. If not… She’d try to find their weaknesses. Insanity usually hinted at some kind of exploit.

Brutalight walked into the room, drawing Twilight’s attention.

“I see you finally decided to drop back in,” Twilight commented.

“Not just me,” Brutalight said, walking forward and allowing all of the others to file in behind her, bringing the total number of ponies in the room to eight. “Let me introduce everypony. I’m Brutalight Sparcake, the leader of the Elements of Insanity. This is Rarifruit, Fluttershout, Pinkis Cupcake, Applepills, Rainbine, and Derpigun.”

Twilight Sparkle looked at everyone and nodded. “I am Charter Twilight Sparkle of Equis Vitis, Princess of Friendship.” The ponies behind Brutalight filled Twilight with uneasy feelings – each one had the gaze of a mare barely held together inside. Rarifruit was the only one who was obviously injured from the prior attack, her back legs propped up with a two-wheeled frame.

Fluttershout snickered. “Princess of Friendship. Silly.”

“Not as silly as we might wish…” Brutalight commented. “She has the power within her.”

“But so do we!” Applepills said. “I mean, look at us, if we weren’t great friends Pinkis would have just eaten us all by now!”

Pinkis laughed. “And Rarifruit would have stolen Fluttershout’s hat!”

“I still want it,” Rarifruit muttered.

Brutalight chuckled. “You rascals.”

Rainbine smirked. “Effective and awesome rascals!”

Flutershout rolled her eyes. “You never change, do you…”

Brutalight cleared her throat. “The point is, Twilight, we have the magic of Friendship in us as well. So if you’re thinking you can just count on a magic rainbow laser from your friends to save you, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Twilight’s confident expression faltered. They were right – she could see their friendship, corrupted and exclusive though it was. They had an extremely strong bond, a bond that kept them alive and gave them dominion over whoever they deemed an enemy. Which was probably everyone.

Brutalight smirked. “Are you going to let this go the easy way? I’m in a charitable mood, I’ll just let you go if you give us the secrets to interdimensional travel. You don’t have to die.”

“You need one of the devices-“

Brutalight’s smile vanished. “Wrong answer. You know how to do it without a device. You know how the device works. You could tell us how to make one.”

“It’d be far too complicated to create in a place like this, and I don’t understand every part-“

“You are a horrible liar,” Brutalight said. “Fluttershout, ‘cheer’ her, lowest volume.”

Fluttershout took in a breath and let out a loud noise that drove itself into Twilight’s brain like a railroad spike. The other Elements didn’t seem to care, probably because the noise was directed only at Twilight, not that she was able to realize this at the moment. The pain forced her to crumple to the ground, shaking in her chains.

Brutalight used her magic to ensure Twilight could still hear what she was saying over the ‘cheering’. “You feel that? That is her voice, driving its way deep into your mind, destroying your ears and your very ability to hear naturally. Much louder and it’ll blow your eardrums out completely. Louder, and your brain starts to get affected. At full volume her shout is an instant kill. She’s probably the most effective at killing out of all of us.” She smirked. “Unfortunately, unlike everyone else she comes in contact with, you don’t have the pleasure of knowing the pain will end soon. It will just keep going and going and going.”

Twilight grunted, forcing herself to sit back up despite the pain. Her face was in an eternal grimace, but her eyes were narrowed in fiery defiance. “Then let it go on.” She realized with fear she couldn’t even hear what she was saying.

Brutalight clearly could. “Louder, Fluttershout.”

Fluttershout increased the volume slightly. Twilight’s brain throbbed as the already-present nail felt as if it moved around within her skull, scrambling her brain. Her ears no longer had the control to keep themselves folded down, not that being open or closed did much difference at this volume. But she stood strong.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a fighter, girls. Louder.”

Twilight could feel a hammer within her awareness, pounding at her head with every beat of some unheard, cruel song. She realized this was just her heartbeat amplified through the noise.

“Louder.”

The insides of Twilight’s ears were now vibrating with enough energy that the pain in the ear canal far outweighed the pain happening within her mind. Her entire skull screamed in agony, like a wine glass ready to burst. Tears flowed down her cheeks and onto the ground, but she did not give in.

“Just tell us!” Brutalight demanded.

“No!” Twilight screamed, glad for an excuse to unleash her bent up fury. Any distraction from the pain was welcome, no matter how small or useless it was. “I cannot let you leave this place! You’d kill so many ponies more than me! So many! I cannot let you do that! If I must give my own life to protect all others, then good! I’ll gladly lay it down!”

“We’ll kill people regardless of where we are, fool!”

“Death is at least cheap, here!”

“Louder.”

Twilight reeled, the sound somehow carrying a real physical force with it now, pushing her back across her cell. “Why do you have to kill? Answer me that! WHY!?”

“Because we’re batshit insane!” Brutalight said. “And it’s fun! You’ve clearly never felt the exhilaration of holding someone’s life in your hooves and ending it in a clean, single moment. The power. The poetry. The life it gives you. There is no action more enthralling.”

“I… Don’t… Kill…”

“You’ll have to try it eventually. If you survive this. Louder.”

Twilight lost all ability to form coherent words. She just screamed. She channeled all her rage into one single, powerful noise that meant nothing to Fluttershout’s unending noise. The pain collected to a point in her ears, building pressure, both pressing her skull and pushing it out in a set of forces that could not exist in tandem for long. One would have to give.

Her inner ears exploded. She felt more pain in that moment than she had felt in most of her life. Blood rushed out from both sides of her head, spraying across the bars of her prison. She could still feel the force of the sound on her body, but the pounding in her ears was gone. There was still a spike in her brain, but it was significantly less painful than it had been before. She was, partially, relieved.

The force of the noise stopped, allowing Twilight to slump to the ground. Twilight saw Fluttershout shaking her head, saying something to Brutalight that Twilight couldn’t hear. The other Elements were talking among themselves, opening and closing their mouths, making various gestures... But Twilight couldn’t hear them.

Twilight couldn’t hear anything. There wasn’t even a ringing in her ears. Her ears were still there – she could feel them and move them – but they weren’t picking up any sound.

Brutalight lifted Twilight in her magic, dragging her against the bars. She spoke – and Twilight could unfortunately hear that. “The wound is still fresh. We can return your hearing if we act fast. But you have to give us what we want.”

Twilight mustered enough energy to scowl. “…Screw you.”

Brutalight tossed her to the ground. “Then I guess it’s time for the next round of torture. I can see I’ll have to get creative.” She turned to her friends. “You can go. This is going to take a while, unless anyone has any ideas.”

A few of them said something, but Twilight had no idea what. Then the six of them filed out of the room, leaving only Brutalight and Twilight.

Brutalight smirked. “I am the only voice you can hear, Twilight Sparkle. As far as you are concerned, I am your God, your everything, your master. There is nothing but you and me, and I am very angry. To ease this anger, you just need to tell me some simple things. Should be easy, right?”

Twilight said nothing. She just prepared herself for more pain.

Brutalight lifted Twilight back up. Blood dripped from the Charter’s ears onto the cell floor below.


~~~


A giant pony head with lightning bolts coming out of its eyes chased down a waffle with human legs and a Pinkie Pie head while an Applejack rode a cow made of cubes over a man with a horse head. Elsewhere, a Lyra poked a freshly dead Sniper in his rear with a toothpick, as if checking to see if he was done cooking.

“…What?” Flutterfree said, not able to believe what she was seeing.

“Complete randomness.” Nightmare commented.

“Is this… I don’t even know what to ask.”

Nightmare shrugged. It wasn’t like he knew any more about what was going on than she did. He was just harder to baffle. “Somewhere Else?”

“Maybe…” Flutterfree said. “I don’t like delaying, but I don’t think we can-“ Then she saw it. What they needed.

A medigun.

It was currently in the hands of a Medic screaming at the top of his lungs. “TRY NEW CARTOON HORSE PROGRAM HORSE MEAT!”

“There!” Flutterfree said, ignoring the horrific implications of the Medic’s statement. “Get it!”

Nightmare jumped down the cliff face he was standing on, Flutterfree holding on to his back as tight as she could manage. They landed on the ground below, kicking up a small cloud of dust.

The Medic pointed at the Nightmare in terror. “HORSES CANNOT DRIVE AUTOMOBILES!”

Flutterfree blinked. “Nightmare, just… get the gun.”

Nightmare leaped forward, swiping at the Medic’s medigun, only for the target to leap back. “GET YOUR OWN GODDAMN FRENCH FRIES!” He took off in a run. He would have not made it far, but unfortunately for Flutterfree and Nightmare, a jar of peanut butter flew through the air and hit Nightmare right in the face. He paused a few seconds to contemplate what had happened.

Flutterfree licked the peanut butter that had gotten on her. “Huh. Pretty good.”

Nightmare shrugged and moved to resume his pursuit of the Medic into a blue barber shop, but once again he was stopped. This time by an unicorn Twilight Sparkle with a truly grumpy expression permanently affixed to her face. A set of words appeared beneath her face – ‘Dwight Likes Sparkles’ – that she clearly couldn’t see.

“Uh… Hi?” Flutterfree said. “Do you mind letting us through?”

The words vanished. The Twilight they could only presume was named ‘Dwight’ took one look at the two of them and summoned a hamburger from the aether before digging into it ravenously.

Flutterfree blinked. “Think we can just walk by?”

“No,” Nightmare said. He tried to walk by anyway.

Dwight took exception to this, wordlessly conjuring another hamburger and tossing it at Nightmare’s head. Nighmare’s response to this was to lurch forward suddenly and scream in Dwight’s face. Dwight headbutted him, knocking him backward. She followed this up with a barrage of fax machines conjured from nothing.

Nightmare cut through the fax machines with his quick reflexes, leaving piles of electronics around him. Flutterfree looked right at Dwight. “Why are you attacking us?”

Dwight teleported behind Flutterfree and slapped her upside the head, tossing her off Nightmare. Nightmare reacted by sinking his claws into Dwight, only to realize that he’d skewered a full size car. “What.”

Dwight appeared behind him, grew a body of a centaur, and punched him in the face. His head turned around a full three hundred and sixty degrees, roaring the whole while. He leaped onto Dwight, trying to tackle her, but once again he failed to grab what he was aiming for, somehow latching onto a cow made of squares.

Flutterfree reasoned that Nightmare could handle himself for now – she needed to get what they came for. She ran into the barber shop after the Medic, mildly shocked to find that the interior was on fire. She considered backing out, but then she saw the Medic hoisting his medigun through the flames with his back turned toward her.

“CATCH HORSY HORSE FEVER THIS SUMMER!” he announced, kicking an action figure of Twilight into the fire.

Flutterfree took a breath – all she had to do was move quickly. Treat him like a bear, right. Just a little twist, he’d drop the gun, and she could make off with it… Easy, right?

She lunged across the room, flames lightly brushing her wings. She placed her front hooves directly on the Medic’s back, right below his shoulders. She twisted her body around, placing a back hoof on top of his shoulder. Then she twisted him, giving his back the ultimate in ‘massage’ treatments. He let out a roar of surprise, dropping his medigun as his arms splayed straight outward.

Flutterfree kicked him to the ground, hoping he’d spend a good deal of time wondering why his back suddenly felt so much better. She grabbed the medigun in her hooves and flew toward the front door.

“QUEEN HORSYTIME!” the Medic yelled from behind her. Flutterfree thought this was probably a bad sign, and the instant explosion behind her proved that it was. She and the medigun were launched through the doors of the barber shop, tearing the flimsy structures off their hinges. She landed in the dirt, careful to orient herself face up to protect the medigun from the crash.

A Princess Celestia stood over her – no doubt the ‘Queen Horsytime’ the Medic had called for but a moment ago.

She looks peeved, Flutterfree thought. She, luckily, didn’t get a chance to find out how peeved Queen Horsytime was. A strangely flat apple came flying out of nowhere and hit Queen Horsytime between the eyes, somehow knocking her out.

Flutterfree blinked. “What?”

“Apple. It’s just the kind of thing that happens here,” a synthetic, monotone voice drawled. A human Fluttershy walked into her field of view. Flutterfree almost thought she was normal save for the gray lampshade-like hat on her head, but as the pegasus looked closer, she found the new Fluttershy to be… flat, just like the apple.

“Um… thanks? Who are you?” Flutterfree asked.

“My name is Zed Ex,” she droned, speaking without moving any part of her body. She hoisted Queen Horsytime over her back. “And I randomly saved you.”

“I see that. But… why?”

“You looked like you weren’t part of the randomness and I just so happened to need an unconscious version of Celestia.”

“…Why?”

“Time travel, Greggs, and another universe.”

“Oh. …Are you part of the randomness?”

“Girl, I am the randomness. I wrote the book on randomness. You should help your bear friend, he’s being eaten by Dwight.”

“What!?” Flutterfree said, turning to Dwight and Nightmare. Nightmare was in fact being eaten by Dwight – if Dwight chewing ineffectually on Nightmare’s arm could be considered being eaten. Flutterfree glanced back to Zed Ex – but she was gone.

“…I’m going to have to ask Pinkie about that one…” Flutterfree muttered to herself, hoisting herself up and slinging the medigun over her back. “Nightmare! Time to go!”

“Good,” he said, running away from Dwight at his top speed. She took offense to this as well, summoning a flaming meteor and tossing it at Nightmare. He jumped out of the way easily, leaping back up the cliff face with Flutterfree flying alongside him. They narrowly dodged another flaming meteor as they climbed.

At the top, Flutterfree perched herself on Nightmare’s back, smiling. “To Crosstown!”

She could hear the medic yell behind them. “YEEEEEEE-HAW!” This prompted Flutterfree to glance behind them and see a herd of Applejacks and Engineer Mercenaries charging the cliff face.

“Go go go!” Flutterfree shouted.

Nightmare did as instructed, dashing across the desert. Flutterfree saw Applejacks and Engineers falling over each other in their attempts to reach her, and a very furious Dwight shooting meteors at them that always seemed to miss. A car exploded.

Flutterfree laughed, the absurdity of the situation finally getting to her.


~~~


“This is your captain speaking…” Alushy announced. “If you look to your left you will see the Twisty Hills, a lovely place where I made the horrid decision of getting dreadlocks. Avoid at all costs. To your right, there’s a Mann Co. Tower with a giant hole blown through it in the shape of a skull, complete with physics defying eyeballs. And if you could look beneath us, which none of you can, you’d see the Haunted Territories.”

“I can see them!” Pinkie yelled clapping her hooves.

“Go figure,” Alushy muttered. “Are you the only one awake?”

Pinkie glanced behind her. “I think so. Except Pepsi Man, but he doesn’t talk, so it might as well be just us!”

Alushy shrugged, glancing at the downward-display in front of her. It showed a lot of dead trees, dark mists, and graveyards lit by the light of the moon. “Then I suppose it’s ‘bonding time’ then, isn’t it?”

“You do realize you’re asking for it now, right?” Pinkie asked.

“See, I’m over here thinking it’d just be best to rip the damn bandage off all at once, on my terms, rather than on your terms when you want to throw a party or something equally stupid.”

Pinkie giggled. “I wasn’t going to demand any one-on-one bonding time at all! You didn’t seem like the type to appreciate that! You prefer to get your socializing in by being the center of attention, random mockery, or beating the stuffing out of people.”

“The term is ‘beating the shit out of everyone’, Pinkie,” Alushy corrected.

“Hey, you say things your way, I say mine my way, okie dokie?”

Alushy smirked. “Okie. Dokie.”

Pinkie giggled and winked. “That’s more like it!”

Alushy facehooved. “You were supposed to get mad at that.”

“Does this look like the face of a pony who gets mad a lot?”

“No. That’s part of the challenge, get the pink puff of adorable laughs and smiles and goddamn rainbows to lash out.”

“I can get angry if you want!”

“And your self-imposed challenge is to drive me up a wall.”

“It’s workiiiiiiiiing!”

Alushy smirked. “And I thought I was the world’s most annoying asshole.”

“Your descriptions just don’t work…” Pinkie shook her head. “Try being more creative!”

“You are such a fudging spaz that when you laugh, the entire world is forced to laugh with you in the most horrible perversion of the sound imaginable – a joyless haunting gasp that’s nothing more than a pathetic wheeze of air unleashed by a fear reflex. A fear of the party pony’s smiling wrath.”

Pinkie giggled. “And you, my vampiric friend, have an ego so large it could be used to pilot the Titanic.”

Alushy blinked, processing that one for a minute. “Huh. That’s a pretty good one.”

“I’ve got more! Ahem! What’s with those red glasses? Trying to disguise all the blood so you don’t feel ashamed?”

“What’s with your body? Are you some kind of sapient pasta noodle or did you try one too many advanced maneuvers in bed?”

“I think I know why you like to eat people – it’s the only way you can get anything close to resembling a close relationship with anypony!”

“I bet you cry every night over that one time in sixth grade little Timmy rejected your advances!”

“How much work do you put into your outfit? It’s not worth it, even if it’s none.”

“Your mother was so fat she gave birth to you.”

“In your previous life you were a pathetic bullied foal with supervillian aspirations!”

“You’re a creeper who secretly gets off on all the things she knows!”

Rarispy groaned. “Are you two seriously having a ‘roast me’ contest?”

“Shut up, we’re bonding. I’m pretty sure we’ll be soul sisters by the time we land,” Alushy said.

“But… So many of those were bad…”

“That’s part of the fun!” Pinkie said, giggling. “We should probably stop though, there’s only so much roasting that can be done before it starts getting overdone.”

Rarispy raised an eyebrow. “You’re implying it wasn’t overdone before you started.”

“Oooooh burn!” Alushy laughed.

Rarispy facehooved. “No, no I am not playing your moronic game.”

Then a magic missile hit the jet because Alushy wasn’t looking at what she was doing. The left wing blew off, the tremor waking up all ponies who were still asleep.

“What was that?!” Renee shouted, holding onto her seat as tightly as she could.

“Magic missile!” Pinkie said, grabbing a pillow and placing it over her chest.

“Where from!?” Nova asked.

“That’s the thousand dollar question!” Alushy shouted, trying to pull up in vain. “The answer? Probably that castle down there that’s shooting another one at us.”

Nova lit her horn, creating a shield to deflect the other magic bullet. “This is either Brutalight or an automated spell, either way I think it’s a pretty good indication we’re in the right place!”

“We are going to crash!” Renee yelled. “Do something!”

Alushy cocked her head and widened her eyes. “What the fudge do you think I’m trying to do?”

Nova lit her horn again, teleporting all six of them out of the Blackbird. She levitated all of them slowly to the ground with only a slight strain on her magical powers. They watched as their beautifully crafted state-of-the-art aircraft crashed into the ground a mile or so away, producing a giant fireball that lit up the night.

“…Why do my Blackbirds always explode!? I didn’t even get to use the weapons!” Alushy shouted.

“Lame!” Pinkie said, folding her front hooves.

Nova placed them gently on the ground, sighing. “Well, at least we know which castle to go to. This way everypony.”

“Wait!” Renee said. “Remember, Magic Mare told us to check out the graveyard. Okay? We do that first.”

Pinkie pointed to their left. “That’s it right there.”

Renee glanced that direction, not as surprised as she probably should have been to see a wire gate leading into a large graveyard filled with worn gravestones.

Rarispy drew one of her guns. “Shall we?” She glanced to Alushy. “Should we expect any of your kind?”

Alushy grinned. “Undead? Definitely, these are the Haunted Territories, what self-respecting place named that doesn’t have ghosts? Vampires like me? Definitely not.”

“Good to know.”

“Can I just say that it feels wonderful to be under moonlight?” Alushy took a deep breath of the night air and bore her sharp teeth with a grin. “So much better than daylight.”

Nova blinked. “Wait, how did you survive in the daytime? Aren’t vampires supposed to, you know, burn up in the sun?”

“I’m not your garden variety vampire if that wasn’t clear by now.”

Nova narrowed her eyes. “I asked how.”

“And I don’t particularly feel the need to tell you! Not to mention the look on your face right now is pure gold. Wish I had a camera. Oh wait, I do!” she pulled out a smartphone and took Nova’s picture. “This is going on my Twitter feed…”

Pinkie pulled out a phone of her own. “What’s your Twitter?”

“The Crimson Fudger.”

“Oooh, nice! I’m following you. I’m Pink Party Palooza.”

Nova twitched. “Internet here how?”

“Blame Mann Co.” Pinkie answered.

Rarispy slapped the phones out of Alushy’s and Pinkie’s hooves. “Stop it with this nonsense! We have a mission! We need to move. The sooner we find out what the deal is with this graveyard, the sooner we can take down the Elements of Insanity.” With a dignified huff, she tossed her mane back and trotted into the graveyard.

Pinkie shrugged, following her, bringing the rest of the group with her. Pepsi Man was a bit too tall and hit his head on the top of the entrance arch, falling down like a domino.

Nova helped him back up. “You seem to randomly hurt yourself a lot…”

Pepsi Man shrugged.

The graveyard itself was dark and filled with fog. The black, pointed fence was lined with occasional stone columns topped with pumpkins. The graves themselves were so old and worn it was nearly impossible to tell what their inscriptions once were. A bat screeched overhead.

Alushy shot the mammal out of the sky. “That bat just told us to go die in a fire,” Alushy explained. “It got what it deserved.”

Nova closed her eyes and lit her horn. “There’s… a lot of power here. Some of it is magic… Some is… something else.”

“Probably ghosts,” Rarispy said.

“That does match Twilight’s theories,” Renee added. “She’s been working on a theory that separates special abilities and other things into classes. She was talking to me about ‘magic’ and ‘spirits’ the other day. One comes from without, the other from within…”

One of the graves shifted. A large, meaty hand reached out of the soil beneath, translucent like all ghost arms should be. At this point most ponies would just run, but not the party there currently – they stared at the ghostly arm with an overall mood of curiosity.

The ghost of a mercenary pulled itself out. He was one of the large, bulky, Heavy class, his only unique feature being a frying pan on his head. He stood tall, glaring at all six of them.

“Hello! I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said.

“I’m Intelligent Heavy,” the Heavy said, pointing at her. “You’re mine!” He jumped at her, trying to force his spiritual form into her body. She just put on the Bomb Mask and exploded, sending both of them flying.

Pepsi Man tossed a can of Pepsi at the ghost, but it flew right through. The Intelligent Heavy laughed. “I am a ghost! You can’t hurt me!”

Nova froze the ghost in a magic crystal. Intangible though he was, the magic prison kept him sealed away. Nova glanced to Alushy. “Can you take care of this thing if it becomes a problem?”

Alushy grinned. “I’d love to find out.”

“I’ll take that as a yes…” Nova said, walking to another grave. “We need to be careful, there may be more ghosts.”

“Do you think Magic Mare tricked us?” Rarispy asked.

Renee shook her head. “I don’t think so… There is something here, I’m sure of it.”

“I’m more than sure,” Pinkie said, removing the Bomb Mask. “I know there’s something here.”

“Then what?” Nova said, searching around for anything she could find.

Rarispy looked at the Heavy. “If it helps, I think mercenaries with small additions like that are called ‘Freaks’, though I’m not sure how that relates to the Elements of Insanity…”

“I don’t see how it does either…” Nova said, placing her hoof on a gravestone.

The gravestone reached out to her. Images flashed in her mind, flooding her with information.

There were seven ponies, seven normal ponies. Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Derpy. They were in their world – an Equis set slightly before Twilight had gotten wings – and then they weren’t. Nova saw them appear in the graveyard – disoriented, scared, and alone.

Rarity was first. Nova watched Rarity approach a grave, curiously examining a small red hat laying on it. A transluscent green hand shot out of the ground, startling Rarity. The ghost rose into the air, pointed at Rarity, then went inside her.

Not a second later Rarity was no more. Now it was Rarifruit. She placed the small hat on her head, grinned psychotically, and yelled ‘MINE!’

Nova reeled back from the gravestone. “They… They were normal, once.”

“Huh?” Renee said. “What?”

“They were all once normal ponies, like you and me. But… This place.” She gestured around. “This place did something…”

She touched another grave, flooding her mind with more images. She saw others wandering the graveyard, getting possessed by ghosts… No… It wasn’t quite possession. It was more… a fusion. Neither the ghosts or the ponies had full control. What resulted was its own being, something new.

Nova tore her hoof back. “That’s what all of them are… Lost ponies, dragged to this world, instantly having their lives torn away.”

“That’s… That’s horrible,” Pinkie said.

“Alushy, do you by chance know how to… Exorcise somepony?”

Alushy shook her head. “In my world priests didn’t do the exorcism thing, they killed whatever they thought was an unholy blight.” Alushy smirked. “Quite fun, the one-sided rivalry I had with a particular priest…”

“I do not think that would work anyway,” Rarispy said. “There’s clearly more to them than just being possessed.”

“Quite…” Nova said, touching another gravestone. She saw six Elements of Insanity capture a poor unicorn Twilight and force her to absorb two separate spirits into her, becoming the brutal leader they all wanted. Nova couldn’t remove the image of Twilight chained in midair with dark magics from her mind. A tear rolled down her cheek. “This place… This Graveyard… It killed all of them and replaced them with insane monsters.”

Pinkie sighed. “And in return, the monsters killed everything around them.”

“They might not have a choice,” Renee said. “Maybe… Maybe we shouldn’t hold it against them?”

Rarispy shot her a look. “What exactly are you suggesting?”

Renee lifted her hat slightly. “I am suggesting that they may not have any say in what they’re doing. It may just be a result of this horrific place. They could just be mental patients, doomed to do what they do.”

Nova placed her hoof on another grave and winced. “No… They have a choice.”

Renee blinked. “How so?”

“Magic Mare is a fusion with one of these ghosts. Her friend was as well. I saw her. A fusion of Sunset.” Nova shook her head. “I saw the two of them doing horrid things as well, but Magic Mare is proof enough. They had a choice.”

Rarispy twirled her gun. “Good enough for me. They must be stopped by any means necessary. They’re too dangerous, have killed too many.”

Renee frowned. “I… Can’t bring myself to disagree. I wanted to.”

Nova looked at the moon above them. “This place… It’s more than just a collection of ghosts and memories.” She lit her horn and closed her eyes. “There is a lot of power here, of all mysterious kinds. This place – I think it’s like a sinkhole for the multiverse. A nexus of sorts, one that draws ponies and people in only to get possessed by ghosts. By these ‘Freaks’, as it were.”

“What does that mean?” Renee asked.

“It means this place, right here, is a place of high dimensional activity.” Nova rubbed her chin. “I wonder…”

Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Girls! Pepsi Man! I’ve got a plan!”

Nova blinked. “You do?”

“Yes. I do. I think you do as well. Huddle up, we’re going to get Twilight back!”


~~~


Rainbine leaned against a wall at the front gates of the castle, her black ‘ear spikes’ humming softly. She was resting her eyes, like she always did when it was her turn for guard duty. She snored, making it clear to the entire world that she was asleep on the job.

Anypony trying to bust into the castle would think the sleeping robotic pegasus would make their jobs so much easier, but this would not be the case. Her robotic spikes picked up on movement, jolting her awake in a single instant. She pointed her gun through the front gates where she’d detected movement. But now there was nothing.

She narrowed her eyes. “Who’s out there?”

“PEPSI MAAAAAN!” Pinkie shouted while Pepsi Man charged Rainbine. Rainbine had time to aim her gun but not time to shoot before she got punched in the face by the bizarre soda superhero. Pinkie followed this up with a golf club to the face.

Rainbine cracked her neck side to side. “Well, if it isn’t the pink one and the fizzing idiot! You’ve just raised the alarm. Everypony’s closing on this position, ready to give you a bad time!”

Pinkie put her hooves to her face. “Oh woe is us, your friends are coming! How dreadful and unexpected!”

Rainbine launched a missile at Pinkie, only for her to jump on top of it and ride it like a wild bull. She directed it back at Rainbine, yelling “Yippee Ki Yay!” the whole way. Rainbine dodged the missile by flying into the air, but Pepsi Man met her with his fist, forcing her to the ground.

She grunted, standing back up. “Two on one isn’t fair…”

“You were doing fine with two on one before!” Pinkie said, twirling her golf club. “Nova and Nightmare aren’t pushovers!”

Rainbine twitched. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, candy horse.”

A can of Pepsi appeared in Rainbine’s hooves and exploded, showering her in liquid. This did not seem to affect her. She looked at Pepsi Man and raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Pepsi Man moved to punch, but this time Rainbine fired her gun in time. The bullet exploded at his feet, knocking him flat onto his face. “Ha! Loser!”

Pinkie took the opportunity to hit Rainbine with her squeaky hammer, tossing the robot into a nearby wall. “Ha! Loser!” she echoed, giggling.

Rainbine growled, firing a volley of missiles at Pinkie, only for her to dodge all of them. “You shot! And you missed!”

Rainbine fired again, and again, and again, always missing. Pinkie giggled nonstop, having a wonderful time playing the game. “Oh! You hit something! It wasn’t me, but, you know, you should get points for that!”

The robotic pegasus twitched. She started yelling at a constant, enraged tone, building up her power.

Pinkie grinned. “That didn’t take as long as I was expecting.”

Rainbine stopped yelling once she had reached her ‘super’ state. “I was getting tired of this.” She pointed her gun, unleashing a barrage of much more powerful bullets, which Pinkie dodged. Rainbine was expecting this, taking the opportunity to punch Pinkie across the face with her enhanced speed. Pinkie went flying into Pepsi Man.

“Don’t. Mess. With the Rainbine.”

Pinkie giggled. “Looks like you’re finally ready.” She pulled her real warhammer out of her mane, slamming it on the ground hard enough to crumble the earth beneath. “I can start using the actual weapons now.”

Rainbine’s eyes widened. “Aw sh-“

The gigantic hammer met Rainbine’s face with a resounding clang that could only be made by two giant hunks of metal colliding at high speed. Rainbine’s face was now dented, but this didn’t appear to deter the robot. She flew behind Pinkie and kicked her into the ground.

Pepsi Man tried to take advantage of her turned back to deliver a punch, but her sensors warned of his attack. His face was sent back into the ground with a quick roundhouse kick. She fired a couple missiles at him, ready to finish off the muscular weirdo once and for all, but Pinkie caught the attack in a butterfly net.

Rainbine growled. “How’d you keep them from exploding!?”

“I didn’t,” Pinkie said. The missiles in her net all exploded, sending her flying, but keeping Pepsi Man safe.

“Ha!” Rainbine laughed. “Now you’re open!” She fired a complex pattern of missiles at Pinkie – one of which actually hit. Pinkie flew up into the air.

Rainbine narrowed her eyes. “Hey, where’s the blood?”

“I’m a sapient pasta noodle!” Pinkie giggled, pulling her warhammer out of nowhere again and bringing it down on Rainbine as she fell. Rainbine was flattened into the ground, grunting. A screw popped loose from one of her legs.

“Oh mallet, mallet, mallet in the morning,” Pinkie sung, swinging the warhammer back and forth. “Mallet, mallet, mallet all day!”

She stopped swinging, putting her weapon away. Rainbine’s super was gone. She tried to stand up, but found that two of her legs weren’t working, one of which was her gun leg. Her face was flat on two sides, one of her eyes wasn’t glowing, and her metallic tail was bent sideways. “Ow…”

“You’ll be fine,” Pinkie said, smirking. “A day at the shop and it’ll be good as new!”

Pepsi man doused Rainbine in a flood of Pepsi. “OWOWOWOWOWOOW!” she screamed. “THAT STINGS!”

“Hey, Pepsi Man!” Pinkie held up his hand, stopping the flood. “Not cool! She’s down, don’t hurt her anymore unless you have to! Got it?”

Pepsi Man nodded in understanding, apologizing with a short bow to Rainbine.

“…Screw you,” the robot muttered.

Pinkie looked deeper in the castle. “I hope the others are doing well… I’m concerned we didn’t attract more attention.” She furrowed her brow. “Did they expect us to be a distraction?”

Pepsi Man shrugged.

“Well come on! Let’s move in!” The two of them ran into the castle proper, ready for whatever the Elements of Insanity threw at them.


~~~


Brutalight’s alarm spell went off in Pinkis’ mind – they were being attacked at the front gates. Pinkis knew was that they were fighting Rainbine; that was all.

She dropped the giant sandwich she was preparing in the kitchen. She’d give Rainbine flak about interrupting her meal later, but helping the robot pegasus was easily more important than a simple sandwich. Plus, she could just eat the intruders. That would be great.

She heard a gunshot. A bullet shot right through the back of her head, emerging between her eyes. She fell to the ground, glowing with the red energy of the Ubercharge, slowly healing herself back to full health. “All right, who’s the wise guy-“

Another bullet hit her, this time through the neck. She grunted, healing it again. “That’s really painful you know! It makes me angry! And hungry!”

Alushy dropped from the ceiling, twirling her guns. “Oh, trust me, I know the feeling.”

Pinkis laughed. “That’s a riot! You can’t know the hunger within me!”

“Bitch, I’m a vampire. I eat people.” She pointed a gun right at Pinkis’ face. “I biologically require industrial quantities of blood to live at my full potential. In other words, you’re not a special snowflake. You going to go cry to mommy about that or you gonna own up and fight like a woman?”

Pinkis roared, charging. Alushy pulled the trigger again, sending a bullet right into Pinkis’ mouth; a bullet that she caught with her teeth. Pinkis bit down on the bullet, shattering it.

Alushy blinked. “…That’s my trick.”

“I’m going to eat you just like I shattered that bullet.”

“What a coincidence!” Alushy sneered. “I was thinking the exact same thing!”

Pinkis punched Alushy across the face, tossing her red glasses to the side. Alushy aimed her gun, but Pinkis bit down on the leg the gun was attached to, severing the limb in a single chomp. Bucketloads of blood – far more than should have been inside Alushy – blasted everywhere.

Pinkis grinned. “Heh. That’s pretty good meat you got on you.”

Alushy smirked, her shadows coalescing together to reform her leg. “You were saying?”

“…What are you, just a flappier version of me?”

“I’m a flappier version of you with guns, better teeth, and a lot of undead magics buried within me.” Her tongue shot out, licking her teeth. “And you look like you need to see them.”

Pinkis grunted. She took a giant knife out of her mane. “Fine, let’s pull out all the stops here.”

“Oh, all the stops?” Alushy laughed. “Pinkis, you pathetic little ball of fluff. I don’t think you realize what you’re asking for.”

Pinkis grinned. “I’m asking for both of us to stop toying around.”

Alushy chuckled. “I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t toying around. Ready for Complete Bullshit Level One?”

“…Level One? Please, give me a bre-“

Alushy’s shadows shot from her body, forming dozens of sharp edges lined with necromantic eyes and laughing sounds. Pinkis’ leg was torn off with a quick burst of dark power, but she didn’t let the pain deter her. She just screamed in rage, twirling her knife around in an impossible way so as to deflect all the incoming shadows.

“It seems like you have some spark in you after all!” Alushy laughed. “Tell me, why do you not use those Pinkie abilities of yours often enough?” Pinkis jumped through hoops and twists to avoid the encroaching shadows. “It’s clearly all that’s keeping you alive right now!”

“Shut the hell up!” Pinkis yelled, punching Alushy right in the face, driving her knife between the vampire’s eyes. With a twist and a bite, Alushy’s head flew clean off, arcing through the air and landing with a splat.

“Heh,” Pinkis said. “Lost your head there.”

“That was a horrible joke,” Alushy said, shadows spiraling from where her head had been moments before. “It was so bad it makes me feel sorry enough for you that I’m going to skip right to the point. You want all the stops pulled? Consider them pulled.”

“That’s more li-“ Pinkis was cut into a hundred pieces and thrown onto the ground. She reformed in a few seconds, eyes wide. “What. In. The. Hell?”

Pinkis was thrown to the ceiling, all her bones cracking at once. She screamed. She couldn’t see anything but the eyes in the darkness. So many eyes… Staring at her…

Then there was the red hat and glasses. When had Alushy put them back on?

“You may be wondering why I was sent to you of all ponies,” Alushy began, her shadows tearing at Pinkis’ limbs continually, never giving her a moment to react, never letting her Ubercharge stop working. “Certainly the sheer power of my complete bullshit would be better suited against Brutalight, yes?”

Pinkis grunted. “Enlighten me.”

“It’s because when you go down, you don’t stay down.” Alushy threw Pinkis to the ground, allowing the shadows to dissipate. “You heal yourself back up to full, no matter how intense the injuries. And there is nopony on that team who can make you stay down. Or, at least, none willing.”

Pinkis spat blood on the ground, standing back up to her full height. “So, a team of pansies then?”

“Yes. But I’m smart enough to know that’s probably better for them, in the long run.” Alushy shot Pinkis in the head, pushing her back. “But you know what else? Being a pansy only gets you so far. So, sometimes, you need somepony like me.” She grinned psychotically, her blood-soaked teeth glinting, her eyes flashing with a bright red bloodlust. “One who can get the job done. One who won’t hesitate. One who isn’t afraid to brutally murder. I’ve been ordered to take you out of the equation permanently by any means, and for once I’m giddy to follow somepony else’s orders.”

Pinkis coughed. “That… May be true, but-“

Alushy’s jaw opened far wider than should have been physically possible. She sank her teeth into Pinkis, driving her to the ground. She set to work slowly dismembering the freaky pony’s entire body, condensing it piece by piece into nothing.

In under a minute, there was no Pinkis left to devour. Alushy wiped her lips. “Told you.”

It was then that Alushy noticed she’d had an audience. Rarifruit was standing in a nearby hallway with the wheeled crutches on her back legs. She had a hoof to her mouth and eyes that trembled with emotions she wasn’t able to process. There was evidence she had already lost the contents of her stomach.

“Oh, sorry you had to see that,” Alushy said, twirling a gun. “Bit gruesome, no? Not as bloody as I’m used to, admittedly, but…”

“YOU MONSTER!” Rarifruit shouted, losing her strangely quiet voice for once in her life.

“Takes one to know one!”

“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AND STILL HAVE THAT STUPID SMILE ON YOUR FACE!?”

“I don’t know…” She lowered her glasses and narrowed her eyes. “How could you slaughter all those hundreds of people you did?”

“They didn’t mean anything!”

Alushy fired a bullet, shattering one of Rarifruit’s wheeled crutches. She fell to the ground, unable to stand under her own power. Alushy’s looked down at her, scowling. “You know, I may be a monster, but I at least recognize that everyone I kill is a person. Rarely are they worthy of my respect, or really, worthy of more than a simple punchline, but they exist.” She holstered her gun.

Rarifruit summoned her magical grabby hands, throwing them at Alushy. Alushy rolled her eyes, dodged the hand, and flew away – out of Rarifruit’s range.

Rarifruit screamed at the top of her lungs in a rage unknown to most ponies. She knew, deep in her heart, that Alushy was going to pay. They would all pay with their lives.

In her tears, she pulled herself along the ground with her front hooves. She had somewhere important to be.


~~~


Fluttershout and Derpigun ran through the halls of the castle, planning to give Rainbine aid.

“Okay, Derpigun, listen,” Fluttershout said. “If your gun jams, get behind me. I’ll blow everything out of the water while you fix it. Then, any of them that are still up for some reason, you riddle with holes. Got it?”

“Right!” Derpigun said, hoisting her weapon. “Let’s kill some invaders!”

“As painfully as possible!”

“PILLS!” They heard Applepills scream, falling from a floor above them. She landed on her head.

Fluttershout shook her head, picking up Applepills with her wing. “Applepills, we have to help Rainbine. I’ll give you pills after we’re done, okay?”

“Oh, right! I can wait!”

Fluttershout nodded. “Goo-“ She paused, a suspicious expression crossing her face. “Wait…”

“Damnit,” Applepills blurted, swinging with a butterfly knife at Fluttershout’s neck.

Fluttershout dodged, raising an eyebrow. “A Spy, huh?”

Rarispy revealed herself along with her sound-blocking headphones. “Yes. A Spy. A very particular Spy. The Spy whose sister you killed!”

“Uh, wait, how are you hearing us?” Derpigun asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Fluttershout muttered.

“Lip reading,” Rarispy said, drawing her gun on Fluttershout. “Regardless, it’s been a terror knowing you, adieu.”

Fluttershout caught the incoming bullet with her voice, tossing it to the side. Derpigun activated her artillery, planning to riddle Rarispy with holes.

Unfortunately a large blue magic shield rose up in front of Rarispy, sending bullets ricocheting every which way.

“Quit it!” Fluttershout blurted. “You’re going to hit me!”

“Oh! Right!” Derpigun said, lowering her gun. “Where’s the other one?”

“Don’t know. Keep an eye out.” Fluttershout took in a breath and blasted the noise at Rarispy. The magical shield vibrated and shattered, allowing the force of sound to grab Rarispy and toss her back, head over hooves.

Fluttershout flew to Rarispy and flicked the headphones off with a swift motion. “Look at you, helpless before me. You came here looking for vengeance – instead you just get to join your sister on the other side.” She took a breath.

A blast of blue magic hit Fluttershout in the side, knocking her over. Renee leaped from behind her vantage point, placing the headphones back on Rarispy with her magic and using her hooves to drag the dazed unicorn away.

“Derpigun!” Fluttershout blurted. “You were supposed to be watching for her!”

“Sorry!” Derpigun blurted, aiming her gun at the two retreating unicorns. The click sound was a clear indication of a jam. “Oh, come on!”

Renee pulled Rarispy all the way into a side hallway. She slapped her across the face. “Get a hold of yourself!”

Rarispy shook her head, clearing it. “That bitch…”

“Yes, I know, but we lost our surprise. We can’t take her in a straight fight.”

Rarispy grunted, standing up. “I’m not running from her again.”

Fluttershout and Derpigun slid into the view of Rarispy. Derpigun didn’t have to draw her weapon – she just aimed and fired. Renee raised the magical shield again, deflecting all the bullets.

Fluttershout reared. “Derpigun what did I tell you about shooting at-“

Derpigun’s arm-gun stopped firing in a single moment, and it wasn’t because it had jammed. A single bullet had bounced off Renee’s shield at just the wrong angle, nailing Derpigun right through the eye. A mixture of blood and circuitry was visible through the resulting hole.

She was able to keep standing for about three seconds. Then she collapsed, unmoving.

Renee gasped. “I just… I just…”

“You just did the multiverse a favor,” Rarispy muttered, drawing her gun on Fluttershout.

“I didn’t mean to!” Renee said. “We were supposed to subdue and… and…” she couldn’t take her eyes off the hole in Derpigun’s face that she had made. It was because of her, a clothing designer from Ponyville, that a pony was dead. She’d known this day would come, but nothing she told herself was doing anything to help her right now. She was frozen.

Fluttershout, on the other hand, was not. “You BASTARDS!” The vocal swear tossed the two of them back several yards. One of Rarispy’s legs broke on impact with the ground, prompting a sharp cry.

Fluttershout didn’t rush forward and remove the headphones – she just shouted again, tossing the two ponies further down the hall. Rarispy managed to get some shots off, but all the bullets were deflected by the power of Fluttershout’s voice.

The insane pegasus could have ended it at any time. She just needed to fly over there, yank off their headsets, and they’d be dead in a second or less.

She wasn’t going to let them go that fast. She kept unleashing violent bursts of sound, pushing the two Raritys further and further back, bruising and breaking them with every toss. They had taken her friend from her, so they were going to get the gift of a swift death taken from them.

“You HEAR that?” Fluttershout screamed. “THAT is the SOUND of you BASTARDS getting what you DESERVE!”

Renee couldn’t bring herself to disagree.


~~~


Brutalight slammed on the doors of Twilight’s cage. “It looks like your friends are here, little pony. We’re going to kill them. Every last one of them. Unless you tell me what I want to know.”

Twilight barely had enough energy to look at Brutalight. Both of her wings were broken, her tail had been cut down to a pathetic size, fresh cuts lined all areas of her body, and half her face was swollen so much she couldn’t open an eye. But look at Brutalight Twilight did. She coughed. “…No.”

“Maybe you’ll change your mind when I drag one of your friends in here by their neck…” Brutalight sneered. “Do you think you could still say no if I held, say, ‘Renee’ by the throat and slowly gouged her fair mane out by removing her scalp?”

Twilight couldn’t respond. All she could do was cry.

“Ah, look at that, still haven’t run out of tears…” Brutalight stamped her hoof. “You can’t possibly last much longer. I’ll just wait here until one of your friends shows up – then I’ll capture them, and make you tell me. It’s just part of the waiting game… Think closely about your response when they come.”

A pony burst into the room – but it wasn’t one of Twilight’s. It was Rarifruit, crawling along her two front legs, dragging her broken crutches behind her. Brutalight’s stern exterior melted when she saw Rarifruit’s tear-stained face. “Rarifruit! What happened?”

“Alushy,” Rarifruit muttered. “She… She killed Pinkis…”

“Impossible,” Brutalight said, lighting her horn. To her alarm she couldn’t sense Pinkis – or Derpigun. “No… No no NO!” She glared at Twilight, eyes alit with arcane fire. “Two of my friends are dead, Princess!”

“I’m… Sorry…” Twilight said. The worst part was Brutalight knew she meant it.

Brutalight broke one of Twilight’s legs, prompting a shout of pain that was considerably less satisfying than she’d hoped. Brutalight sneered. “I’m not even going to pretend I have the high ground on you. I’d be in denial if I did. But you can’t pretend you have the high ground over me. You’re no different than us.”

Twilight hung her head, giving no response.

Brutalight lit her horn, fixing Rarifruit’s wheel crutches. “Go hide. Things are going to get ugly.”

“They’ve already gotten ugly…” Rarifruit said, trembling slightly.

“That’s why you need to hide. It’s going to get worse.” Brutalight twisted her head side to side. “We’re not going to let this all be in vain, Rarifruit. We will defeat them, and we will lay waste across their precious multiverse in the name of those who have fallen.”

Rarifruit nodded, allowing herself to smile. “R-right.”

“Now hide.”

Rarifruit ran off, galloping much faster now that she had working wheels.

Brutalight sneered. “Time to expose our little spy…” She cast an explosion spell, blasting a hole in a nearby wall right where Nova was hiding. The unicorn was tossed across the room, but she caught herself in her telekinesis, avoiding any injury.

Nova landed flat on her hooves. “There goes plan A.”

“Oh? Pray tell.”

“Wait for you to leave Twilight alone so I could get her out of here.”

Brutalight narrowed her eyes. “And what’s plan B?”

Nova levitated herself into the air and surrounded herself in a complex rotating crystalline shield. “Brute force.”

Brutalight flapped her wings, summoning two swords to her side. She created a complex array of magical circles beneath her. “So, how’s it feel?”

“How does what feel?” Nova asked, focusing seven different magical lasers onto the alicorn, which were easily deflected by her swords.

“Knowing that you ordered a pony’s death?” Brutalight retorted, activating her magical circles. The spells latched onto Nova’s shield on all sides, shattering it. Nova’s own circles reacted, launching crystal balls at Brutalight to little effect.

“I didn’t order anything of the sort,” Nova said, teleporting behind Brutalight and freezing her into a crystal prison. Brutalight broke out by summoning a sword to crack the crystal in half.

“Oh, so you couldn’t tell that Alushy was going to kill? Are you claiming to be that naive?” Brutalight shot her swords at Nova, spinning them in a complex pattern designed to hinder those who liked to spam teleport. Nova reacted with a burst of white energy, pushing everything away from her.

“No, I’m just saying that I wasn’t the one who gave the order.” Nova summoned a giant pole with holy winds swirling around it, driving it toward Brutalight’s chest. Brutalight summoned magical armor to her, shattering the weapon the moment it made contact.

“Then who the hell did?” Brutalight demanded, summoning spires of blood red all around Nova. One spike nicked Nova’s ear, drawing a small amount of blood, but Nova’s retaliation of a crystal shard storm had the same net effect on Brutalight.

“Pinkie did. She came up with the plan. Renee was the only dissenter.” Nova snapped the tips off the red spikes, hurling them at Brutalight. Brutalight shattered them as they reached her with a telekinetic barrier.

“You let a Pinkie order you around?” Brutalight said, flabbergasted.

Nova nodded. “When Twilight’s not around, she’s in charge. She’s proven herself.”

Brutalight shook her head. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Your Pinkie decided, all of a sudden, that you needed to use lethal force?”

“Only against one of you,” Nova said, expression dour. “We couldn’t think of any other way to take care of Pinkis. There weren’t supposed to be any others.”

“What about Derpigun? What happened to her?”

“I don’t know. Whatever did, it wasn’t supposed to. I’m sorry.” Nova summoned a glowing sphere of cosmic energy. “I still have to get Twilight back.”

Brutalight activated her magic-sealing spell, completely done with this extended battle. Nova was expecting this, lighting her horn with a specially crafted spell that exploded, shattering the chain that went for her horn. She sliced the rest of the magic chains with a series of translucent blades.

Nova lit her horn, surrounding herself in a series of ticking constructs. “This may be a bad idea, but here goes…” She altered time so she would move several times faster than everything around her. She teleported behind Brutalight, hitting her in the back of the head with a small laser. A sword flew toward her – she managed to dodge, but she lost her focus on the complex time management spell.

“Maybe finesse isn’t always the way to go…” Brutalight muttered, whirling around. She flared her wings and put every inch of power she could into her magical laser. Nova met it with her own, equally powerful laser. Brutalight grinned, bringing a sword from the side right at Nova, ready to eviscerate her. A small magical shield deflected it. “…What!?”

“Heh… Heh…” Nova grunted, struggling against the force of the laser. “I’ve got… backup.”

Brutalight saw it – the drone, hovering at the edge of the room on Nova’s side. Brutalight sent a sword at it, but it deflected with its own spell. Brutalight tried forcing several swords to the drone at once, but it deflected each one in quick succession. It would be all too easy to simply crush the drone with magic, but Brutalight was currently busy dealing with a giant laser…

Brutalight smirked, an idea coming to her. She generated two swords and sent them to Nova and the drone at the same time. The drone protected Nova – not itself. The little machine exploded in a shower of white hot sparks.

“D… Darnit…” Nova muttered. She saw the other sword coming for her. She had to do something, but she knew it wasn’t going to work. The instant before the sword hit, she dropped her retaliation laser to create a prism shield. It existed just long enough to block the sword – but its creation let some of Brutalight’s laser through. It hit Nova square in the chest, singing her coat. She went flying through the wall behind her, coming to a stop in a pile of rubble.

Brutalight had mixed feelings when she discovered Nova was still conscious. She lifted Nova out of the rubble with her telekinesis and glared. “I. Win.”

“No. You. Don’t!” Nova yelled, furrowing her brow. Then a look Brutalight couldn’t recognize came over Nova, and the unicorn let her body go limp.

Brutalight grinned. “Did you blow out your horn with that? What a pathetic way to go. You fought well, considering you’re just a unicorn. But you knew when you decided to face me that I would win.”

Nova refused to say anything.

Brutalight pressed Nova into the cage wall separating them from Twilight. “Hey Twilight! I got one!”

Twilight whimpered. “Nova…” she said, reaching out a hoof.

Nova winced, now that she could see Twilight closely. “What did she do to you…?”

Twilight looked at Nova’s moving lips in confusion – then started crying.

“Too late for that… But you can still save her,” Brutalight told Twilight. “What will it be?”


~~~


“We need to get to the Rarities now,” Pinkie said, running through the castle halls. “It’s not going well.”

Pepsi Man glanced at her. She knew he was confused by what she was saying even though he had no expression.

“I just know, okay? No I don’t know where in the castle they are, but I know it’s going badly. Just look, evidence of a large fight, anythi-“ Pinkie leaped into the air and twisted to the side, narrowly missing a large magical hand flying right at her. “Woa-HO-oh!”

Rarifruit cursed under her breath. “You should have died right there.”

“Didn’t!” Pinkie said, exchanging her warhammer for a squeaky hammer. “You should really go hide, Rarifruit. You’re disabled, in pain, and… Well you need to think through some thin-“

“YOU KNOW!” Rarifruit yelled. “No, you KNEW! YOU SENT HER!”

Pinkie nodded, grimacing. “Yes, that was me.”

“HOW COULD YOU!?”

“Had to. Knew it was what needed to be done.” Pinkie shook her head. “I don’t want you, or anypony else, to have to join her.”

“HOW CAN YOU TALK LIKE THAT!?” the magical hands swept Pinkie again, but she effortlessly sidestepped them.

“Cause… I know things, Rarifruit. I know that you’re the bad ponies here. I knew Pinkis couldn’t be stopped with anything less than what happened. I take full responsibility for it.” Tears started flowing from Pinkie’s eyes. “This place is so horrible. But I couldn’t just let her keep killing ponies!”

“WHY NOT?” Rarifruit yelled. “THEY’RE JUST PONIES!”

Pinkie’s hair went flat. “E-excuse me?” She threw her hammer aside, opting for a scythe instead. “There were a pair of Rarispy sisters, once. They left their pointless war together and set out to change the world. Then one’s brains exploded out her ears, leading to a destruction of the remaining Rarispy’s joy and replacing it with pointless revenge.” She took an ominous step closer. “There was once a Twilight who refused her call since her birth in this world, devoting her life to understanding the existence she had denied, hoping to help others. It would have been so poetic and beautiful were she the one to finally crack the code, but she was killed by an enchanted sword, frozen by special death magics.” Pinkie swung the scythe, disintegrating a magic hand. She placed the blade right at Rarifruit’s neck. “And then there was a psychotic monster of an alicorn who, honestly, probably deserved what she got. But when she left, a mare was given reason to change for the better.”

Rarifruit whimpered.

“So what were you saying about them ‘just being ponies?’ Please. I’d love to hear more.”

“F-fine then,” Rarifruit stammered. “T-think what you will. Just kill me already.”

Pinkie pulled the scythe away and placed it back in her mane. “Not going to. There’s been enough death today. If I did, I’d just justify what you do. I won’t do it if I don’t have to.” She shook her head, poofing her mane back out. “You should just go hide.”

Rarifruit started laughing. “You… You’re a fool!”

“I… I what?”

There was a loud squishing sound behind her. Pinkie paled, turning around to see the second magic hand – the one she hadn’t taken care of – having snapped Pepsi Man in half. He wasn’t moving, only leaking brown soft drink onto the ground.

Pinkie didn’t even have to go check him to know he was dead.

Pinkie’s hair went flat again. She summoned the scythe.

“Go ahead and kill me. Eye for an eye. That’s how it has to be.”

Pinkie slid past Rarifruit, swinging the scythe twice. Rarifruit expected the pain, or at least the shocked feeling of being cut up, to come – but it never did. Her wheeled crutches fell apart instead, crumbling to the ground.

“What?” Rarifruit yelled.

“Not. Unless. I. Have. To,” Pinkie said, lifting up her squeaky hammer. “An eye for an eye gets us nowhere.”

She hit Rarifruit on the head, knocking her out.


~~~


Rarispy tumbled across the ground as another shout hit her. She had lost count of how many bones were broken at this point. She caught a glimpse of Renee as she tumbled – the unicorn had stopped moving a few seconds ago. Rarispy couldn’t do anything to help her. She couldn’t do anything at all.

She tried to move, but she was tossed back again. And again.

“DIE in the MOST painful way you CAN!” Fluttershout screamed at them.

Won’t be much longer at this rate…

“Hey Flutterbitch,” a deep, menacing voice said. “Those are my friends.”

“What the-“

Alushy dropped on the ground behind her, pointing a gun and smirking. “Helloooooo sprightly! You’re lucky, I have to play nice, so-“

Fluttershout didn’t wait. She noticed Alushy wasn’t wearing any soundblocking headphones, so she let out the strongest shout she could muster in the vampire’s direction. Her head flung back, her red glasses cracked, and blood poured behind her – but she just twisted her neck and righted herself.

Alushy grinned. “See, Fluttershout? This is called a ‘shit eating grin.’ Remember it well, it may be t-“

Fluttershout was having none of this. She unleashed a scream and maintained it. Alushy’s body was lifted off the ground and pressed into a wall – and held there. “This… Gives a new meaning to earrape…” She gurgled through her rapidly flattening body. She tried to reach for a gun, but realized that not only were the guns probably broken from the stress, but her hoof wouldn’t move at all.

She waited for Fluttershout to take a breath.

She didn’t.

Alushy tried to sneer, but her face muscles wouldn’t respond. She tried the Stare – but she was just Stared back, the effects cancelling. She unleashed her shadows, but they were only pressed back to the wall with her. She let out a bloodcurdling roar.

The sound kept her pressed to the wall, immobile, unable to act.

Alushy let herself smile. “And… Here I thought I… was the one with the complete… bullshit attack…”

Fluttershout just kept screaming, fueled by pure rage, unable to think about anything else.

Not even the Rarispy crawling toward her. One of Rarispy’s legs still worked, and she was using it to drag herself closer and closer to the back end of Fluttershout. Even with the sound directed away from her, the power was strong enough to make one of her ears bleed. But she didn’t care.

She readied her butterfly knife. It would take one stab to the throat, and even if she didn’t die she definitely wouldn’t be able to speak anymore. Just... One… Stab…

“PILLS!”

Shit. Rarispy twisted to the left and thrust her knife forward, hitting the incoming Applepills right in the neck. A fatal blow – but not one that would stop the incoming earth pony. The hoof made direct contact with Rarispy’s already severely damaged skull. Something in her neck snapped.

She and Applepills slumped to the ground in a heap. Neither moved.

Fluttershout kept screaming at Alushy.

This lasted until Pinkie arrived. The flat-maned earth pony appeared beside Fluttershout and swung her squeaky hammer – hitting the pegasus square in the throat.

Fluttershout choked on the attack, stopping the shout instantly. She tried to start it up again – but her vocal cords wouldn’t cooperate. She could barely breathe, much less scream. She crumpled to the ground, focusing on getting enough oxygen to her brain to stay alive. She couldn’t focus on anything else.

Pinkie wiped her face, doing almost nothing about the tears rolling down her face. “I… I didn’t kill her. Good. Good…”

Alushy tore herself out of her hole in the wall. “I… Guess. …God I’m pissed.”

“No tearing her apart.”

“I won’t. I’ll just imagine it.” She sighed. “You… Might want to check on your Raritys.”

Pinkie went to Renee and lifted her up, placing her hat back on her head. The unicorn was bruised, battered, and had several broken bones and presumably a comparable amount of internal bleeding, but she was alive. 

Rarispy…

Rarispy coughed up blood. “I… I am not making it…”

“We could get you to a-“ Renee began.

“No, you can’t,” Rarispy said.

Alushy, looked at Rarispy with pity. “…Vampirism is an option. I can give it to you, right now. You’ll get a bunch of totally kickass powers. You’ll also get to experience ‘life’ a bit more.”

“…Thanks, but no thanks. I… Need to be with ma soeur.” She looked at Pinkie. “Is that… Are we winning?”

“Just one left,” Pinkie said.

“Good…” Rarispy said, closing her eyes. “The job… will be done…” Her face went slack.

The three ponies stood in silence around the fallen unicorn.

Alushy coughed. “Should we go after Brutalight, or…?”

“That’s up to Nova,” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “Let’s… Let’s just round all of them up.” She laughed bitterly. “I guess I was the one to deal with all three that are still alive…”

She turned and trotted away. “Watch Renee, okay Alushy?”

“You got it,” Alushy said, looking at Renee. “…You really should stop staring at the body, it isn’t good for you.”

“…That could be me,” Renee said, looking into Alushy’s eyes. “That could be me, Alushy. That could have been any of us!”

Alushy nodded. “And it could have been one of them. Death happens. You knew what you were signing up for.”

“…There’s a difference between preparing yourself for it and actually experiencing it.”

Alushy let out a bitter laugh. “You’re full of precious little nuggets of wisdom. You would make millions in the fortune cookie business.”

Renee let out a very undignified snort despite herself.


~~~


Brutalight was lowering the magic spike ever-closer to Nova’s eye, prepared to gouge it out if Twilight wasn’t going to say anything – but then she felt it.

Applepills’ soul vanish.

She stopped the torture, making the spike disappear. She listened closely – she could still hear Fluttershout screaming. Why was she screaming for so long? What could possibly demand that much noise?

Then the noise stopped abruptly.

Brutalight paled. Fluttershout was still alive, but that didn’t sound good. She ground her teeth together – Twilight’s friends would probably arrive at her present location very soon. There was no more time for conventional torture.

“Dammit,” she cursed. “Fine, plan C.” She grabbed Nova and Twilight in her telekinesis, the magic chains around Twilight jingling slightly. “We’re going on a trip.”

She teleported the three of them into a graveyard - a very particular graveyard that meant a lot to Brutalight and her friends. Tears stung at her eyes as memories flooded her mind of Pinkis, Applepills, and, yes, even the klutzy Derpigun. Every last one of them had been at her side for their entire rampage of insanity, and most of them had been her friends in a previous life… And now that bond was gone. They wouldn’t be coming back. They wouldn’t get to be ghosts. They’d just be gone.

And these ponies – oh these interdimensional travellers – had been the cause of their undoing. She’d be sure that she, Brutalight Sparcake, would be their undoing.

She threw Twilight on the ground in front of a gravestone. “Look closely at the scene around you, Charter. It will be the last thing you see as yourself.”

“W-what?” Twilight said.

Brutalight smirked. “Curious thing. Did you know I used to be a regular Twilight Sparkle, not all that unlike you? I was dragged here from another world and deposited in this graveyard full of Freak ghosts… And these ghosts possessed my friends, birthing the ponies that would become the Elements of Insanity. But, see, I didn’t want to be like them. So I tried to run, to flee, to escape. They had to force me to give up Twilight, and become Brutalight.” She cackled. “Best decision they ever made.”

Twilight stared up at her, slowly working out what was going to be done to her.

“You see it, don’t you? I’ll just turn you into one of us. I didn’t want to resort to this – considering how unpredictable it is – but desperate times call for desperate measures.” She lit her horn, summoning the ghost within. The ‘intelligent’ Heavy appeared, groaning.

Brutalight smiled at him. “I’ve got a fleshy body for you.”

Intelligent Heavy rubbed his hands together.

“HEY ASSHOLE!”

Brutalight stopped, turning to Nova. “…Did you just say-“

Nova had her horn lit. Her hoof was placed on the edge of a complicated set of magic circles etched into the ground around the whole graveyard. “Yes, I called you an asshole. Because that’s what you are. And guess what, asshole, you never sealed my magic away. I got you good, pretending to be helpless.”

Brutalight twitched, preparing a spell of her own – but Nova activated the magic circles. The Heavy hid back in his gravestone, leaving Brutalight all alone.

Brutalight growled at the lights of the magic circle appearing all around her. She tried to fire off her spell – but a magic lock clasped itself around her horn. She summoned a sword to free her – but Nova herself grabbed the sword with her magic.

Brutalight roared as she was tied to the ground next to Twilight, all of her attempts to escape foiled by Nova’s quick thinking. “This won’t hold me long!”

“Definitely not,” Nova said, “but I didn’t spend a whole hour inscribing a magic circle just for a simple magic seal spell. You see, you are currently standing in the middle of a dimensional sinkhole, a place where dimensional energies are prevalent and the boundaries between worlds are, effectively, thin. I can, under my own power, open a portal.”

The ground beneath Brutalight shimmered, shaking with the ripples of spacetime. Brutalight’s eyes widened. “No…”

“You’re going somewhere where you can never hurt anypony ever again!”

“NO!” Brutalight yelled. The ground gave out beneath her, but Nova opted to levitate her for a moment rather than let her plunge. She let Brutalight see the endless ocean beneath her. Nothing but water for as far as the eye could see.

“I’ll drown!” Brutalight wailed.

“The chains will lose their anchor when the portal closes, you’ll be fine,” Nova said. “But you’ll spend your days in this abandoned ocean world.”

“You… You can’t do this!”

“Yes, I can. And I have.” Nova narrowed her eyes. “You can’t possibly think I’m doing the wrong thing. What would you do in my place?”

Brutalight didn’t make eye contact.

“That’s right, kill me. Thought so. Goodbye, Brutalight. Enjoy the rest of your life.”

Pinkie appeared next to Nova, a large cardboard box with three ponies in her hooves. “Here’s your friends, Brutalight,” Pinkie muttered. She tossed the box into the portal, landing it perfectly on the waves so it floated. “Bye.”

Nova closed the portal, sealing the four ponies on the other side.

She let out a deep breath. “...Are the others okay, Pinkie?” Judging from Pinkie’s flat mane, she thought she knew the answer.

“Pepsi Man and Rarispy didn’t make it. Renee needs medical attention. I’m not sure what we can do…” Pinkie looked down at Twilight. “Hey, Twilight…”

Twilight forced herself to smile. “H… Hey?”

Nova gulped. “Back to Crosstown.” She lit her horn and teleported away.


~~~


Flutterfree burst into the medical room. “I got it!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.

“Ah, yes! Brilliant!” the Medic said, grabbing the medigun and turning it on. “Hardly a scratch on her!” He activated it, healing a different version of Fluttershy who was barely clinging on to life.

Flutterfree grinned, rushing over to Scouty’s bed. “I got it! I got it, Scouty, I got the-“

The bed was empty.

Flutterfree stared at it, a hollow feeling in her stomach. She turned to the bed on the left, to Rainbat. “W-where’s Scouty?”

“He… Didn’t make it…” Rainbat said, tossing a baseball off a nearby wall and back into her hoof. “…Medic carted him out only a few minutes ago.”

Flutterfree trembled. She lost all support in her back legs and fell onto her rear. Her wings hung limp, and her lips began to quaver.

Rainbat saw this happening. “L-look, Flutterfree, you d-did what you could. You’re a hero.”

“But I…”

Rainbat grabbed Flutterfree’s head, even though it was painful for her to make this motion. “You. Are. A. Hero. You can’t save everyone.”

Flutterfree began to cry. “That’s not fair!”

“You save as many as you can, Flutterfree! That’s all you can do!”

“B-but-“

“MAKE WAY!” Alushy shouted, flying in through the front doors, carrying two ponies. She plowed into the dirt, making a crease in the ground with her face. “Ugh… Thank you for flying Air Alushy. The exit is on the left and the pilot needs to hurl…” She passed out.

The Medic took one look at Alushy’s passengers – Renee and Twilight – and pointed the Medigun at them. “Zese injuries… Terrible. Vould not have been able to treat vithout ze gun… zanks to you, Flutterfree.”

Flutterfree rushed to Twilight and Renee, heart in her chest. Scouty was momentarily forgotten in favor of two ponies she had known much of her adult life. “Renee! Twilight! Are you okay!?”

Renee let out a sigh of relief as the medical gun’s charge filled her up. “I… I will be. I… OW! Okay, ribs snapping back into place are not pleasant…”

Flutterfree hugged her. “I was worried about you…”

“It’s good to see you too.”

Flutterfree released Renee and turned to Twilight. Twilight’s injuries were much more intense, but they were healing just the same. The cuts turned to scars, the bones in her legs and wings reset correctly, and her face’s swelling reduced to normal.

Twilight let out a sigh of relief – the pain was gone.

“Hey, Twilight,” Flutterfree said. “How are you doing?”

Twilight looked at Flutterfree and tried not to cry. She failed. “I… I can’t hear you, Fluttershy. I can’t hear you. I…” She broke down, putting her head in her hooves.

Flutterfree forgot everything for the moment and hugged her old friend.


~~~


Alushy cleared her throat and walked into Colonel Carter’s personal office. “So, what did I do this time and how bad is the punishment?”

Carter ignored the question. “The Mirror Portal connected to us again. They had a full army ready to deploy in case everything went wrong – I had to tell them we’d sorted it out, and that we just needed to replenish our dimensional devices. We didn’t need to declare war – and in fact had some friends at a nearby Mann Co who might want to talk to them.”

“…And?”

“And all of that is due, in part, to you. There is no war, there are new friends. One of the most important individuals in the entire multiverse was saved. A threat to many worlds was nipped in the bud.” She leaned in. “And yet, I still believe you are an out of control murderous psychopath.”

“Not really the biggest secret in the universe now, is that?”

“No. It’s not.” She leaned back. “But, despite this, I’ve decided to give you what you want.”

Alushy’s grin widened. “Wait, seriously? I was beginning to think that’d never happen!”

“It’s not because of your ‘good girl points’, mind you. The way you were going you wouldn’t have impressed me at all.” Carter folded her arms. “It’s something Pinkie said to me. ‘Batman needs to kill the Joker already’.”

“…What?”

“She meant that we sometimes need people like you. Sometimes, extremely brutal force is just what’s required. The pony who can do that without hesitating is a boon to those she allies herself with. She recommended I let you through.” Carter reached into her pocket and pulled out a dimensional device. “…You’ve earned this.”

Alushy laughed. “Thank you Colonel! Haha!” She stuck it in her suit. “I knew it’d pay off eventually!”

“…Aren’t you going to jump to another universe?”

“Now? Nah, later. I’ll probably hang out until the ponies leave. What did you take me for, some cut and run little bitch?”

“…Yes.”

“Looks you need to learn a bit more than the Batman-Joker lesson. Why not the ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ lesson? Much simpler, grade-school stuff.”

“I…”

“Baby steps, Colonel. Baby steps.”

Carter shook her head. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Very likely,” Alushy said. “I won’t though!” She spread her wings and flew out of the room. “WOOOOOO! I GOT MY DEVICE EVERYONE! YOU CAN NOW CASH IN ON YOUR BETS WITH EACH OTHER! Let me revel in the sudden influx of people who are completely broke. HA!”

Carter sat down in her chair and held the bridge of her nose.


~~~


Twilight stared at the sunset, watching as the day slowly turned to twilight.

She knew there were many ponies and people walking around below her vantage point on a roof, but she couldn’t hear any footsteps, any chatter, nothing. There was no noise.

…That wasn’t completely true. There was a soft ringing tone in her ears, but she knew that was just her body’s internal vibrations interacting directly with her brain. Probably a mixture of the circulatory, nervous, and thaumic systems. There was no external sound at all.

She was deaf.

The medigun hadn’t fixed it. She was pretty sure that meant it was permanent.

There were spells she could use… She could learn wing sign… She could practice reading lips… None of which were things she currently had. Hearing spells were never perfect, and they didn’t process sound the same way an ear did… There was no filtering, no processing, and it was always too sensitive. And she didn’t even know one of those spells right now.

This was going to be hard to adjust to. She’d never be able to listen to music and enjoy it again. It’d interfere with her adventuring. She’d never hear Pinkie’s voice with her own ears again… None of their voices with her own ears again…

A pink hoof waved in front of her eyes. She turned to her left, seeing Pinkie. “…How long have you been standing there?” She could feel her vocal cords vibrate, and she was reasonably sure she’d said what she meant to, but… It still felt wrong.

Pinkie pulled a sign out of her mane. A while.

“…Sorry, didn’t notice.”

She flipped the sign over. Not a problem. 

“I know… Guess you were just letting me think, huh?”

She flipped it again. Yeah. Also didn’t know what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

I’m not! Woo!

Twilight laughed – yet another noise of her own she could feel, but not hear. “Right, right… I just… I don’t know, Pinkie. I know there are lots of ponies who can live without hearing, and I know it’s possible. I just… Part of me was taken away.”

I know.

“You’d think I’d be scarred by the torture… Or the pain… Or, well, these literal scars I have all over my body now, right under my coat. But no. All of that… I knew I was doing it for a cause, so I went through it. My mind didn’t let it affect me. Everything about it… It’s blurry. But this… This is going to stay. Forever.”

I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop it.

“My hearing was the first thing she attacked. After that… She just tried to break my bones. She did. I let her. I didn’t break, and that kept me going. I didn’t let myself think about what I was going to do. I just…” She broke down in tears.

Pinkie pulled her into a hug. Twilight felt her sigh. Twilight checked her mane – poofy, but somehow not as vibrant as usual. “…What happened to you?”

I told Alushy to kill a pony.

Twilight gulped. “Pinkie… I’m so sorry I had to put you in that situation…”

Don’t. One of us would have to do it eventually. We’ll have to do it again.

Twilight wiped her face. “I know. …Why does there have to be death out here, Pinkie? Why does there have to be so much violence, blood, and torture? Why?”

I’m not sure. It might just be that we’re the unusual ones. Maybe things aren’t supposed to be as nice as we are.

“We’re losing our niceness… “ Twilight said, rubbing the scars on her leg. “It’s being tormented out of us, bit by bit.”

Might that be a good thing? 

“Maybe. Maybe not. It might just be a tradeoff. Lose some innocence, gain some wisdom.” She shook her head. “I… Just…” She looked at Pinkie. “We really aren’t going to get through this in one piece.”

Nope.

“…I still can’t bring myself to tell us to stop. The Stars told us to stop…”

But we can’t listen.

“No. We can’t.” Twilight stood up tall, glaring at the twilight sky. “We can’t listen. I don’t care if it’s just Starbeat’s stupid Beat carrying us on, or some other stupid force, hunkering down and hiding just isn’t right. What if our world was the one where the Elements of Insanity were born? Had we not explored and known things, they would have killed us all.” She shook her head.

You’re right.

“I know I’m right. But I don’t like it.”

You don’t have to like it.

Twilight smiled at Pinkie. “Yeah. That’s true. How much of what you see do you like?”

Less than I’d like.

Twilight chuckled softly. “And that’s the truth.” She hugged Pinkie. “I’ll be strong when I have to do it, just like you were. Then you won’t be alone.”

Pinkie wasn’t able to reach the sign to turn it over. She just returned the embrace.


~~~


Renee and Flutterfree sat on opposite ends of a table at the Crosstown mess hall. Both of them had giant cups of coffee.

“…I couldn’t save Scouty,” Flutterfree said.

“You saved us. I killed a pony,” Renee said.

“Did it… help save Twilight?”

“Yeah. I like to think so, anyway,” Renee said. “I’m not sure if we would have failed with her alive, though…” She took a sip of her coffee, looking out a window. “Flutterfree, I’m scared.”

“Of more death?”

“No. Of what we’re becoming.”

Flutterfree looked down. “How… so?”

“Pinkie came up the plan quickly. Very quickly. Condemning a pony to her death…” Renee shook her head. “We would never have considered a plan like that before. Not in a million years.”

Flutterfree nodded. “…Was the plan wrong?”

“That’s the problem. I complained at the time. But… Pinkie was right in her thinking. Pinkis wasn’t going to stay down, and we were only able to plan that Brutalight would teleport to the graveyard…” She rammed her forehead into the table and groaned.

Flutterfree put a wing over her. “Shh… Renee, it’s over now. The bad ponies are gone, Twilight is safe, and the Elements of Insanity aren’t going to kill anypony else.”

“At what cost?”

Flutterfree gulped. “The innocence of a handful of ponies. It’s… It’s a good trade.”

“Can’t save everyone…” Renee said.

“Can’t save yourself…” Flutterfree added.

“I couldn't save Rarispy. Couldn’t even move. Then a pony came out of nowhere, and both ended up dead. Eye for an eye…”

“Horrible way to live.”

The two silently took another drink.

“…Thank you, Flutterfree, for risking yourself for us.”

Flutterfree smiled. “I’d do that in a heartbeat.”

Renee nodded. “…What wouldn’t we do for each other?”

“I… I don’t think there’s much of anything.”

Renee’s expression darkened. “That’s terrifying, in a way.”

“Hrm?”

“Friendship is powerful, Flutterfree. Very powerful. The Elements of Insanity had it, and look what they did. What if we become like that?”

“We won’t,” Flutterfree asserted. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“The pony who stands…” Renee said, frowning.

“None of that, Renee! We are going to be better than them! So what if the Magic of Friendship may not always be a good thing? We can make sure that our Friendship is. Got it?”

A smile crawled up Renee’s face. “Got it, Flutterfree.”

“Good. Celestia, this coffee is terrible.”

“I know!”


~~~


“So, in conclusion,” Nova said, making her magical image vanish, “we need to remove Nautica from the Directory.”

“I agree,” Colonel Carter said. “And everyone will agree. But you know the governments will keep the coordinates for themselves, for their own use. And do you know what an uninhabited blacklisted universe sounds like?”

“…What?”

“A prison. A prison to dump any criminal they can’t or won’t deal with.”

Nova frowned. “That sounds… Well, actually not all that bad.”

“Some people are going to be thrown in there who don’t deserve it. For many of them, it will just be a death sentence because they don’t have the magic the Elements of Insanity have. Not to mention the Elements might just kill them.”

Nova sighed. “…What do you suggest we do then?”

“Blacklist it anyway,” Carter said, leaning into the palm of her hand. “I’m just making sure you know the consequences. Not blacklisting it will just give the Elements of Insanity an opportunity to escape.”

“…Okay.”

“Are you sure they can’t escape themselves? You made a portal under your own power.”

“The dimensional fabric was weak in that particular spot,” Nova said. “I simply reversed the flow of ‘energy’ and tapped into it for my spell. It wouldn’t have worked anywhere else in the multiverse. The other side did not have that type of space in it – not that Brutalight would even know what to look for. We told her nothing.”

Carter nodded. “Of course.” She opened the Directory she had on her desk, flipping to 000009 – Esefem. She scribbled a few notes on a piece of paper and inserted it at the end of the file. Then she flipped toward the back of the book, to the small entry on Nautica. She scrawled Dangerous Individuals Present, Blacklist Pending. “That should take care of that, for now. …How’s Twilight doing?”

“…I don’t know,” Nova admitted. “She seems fine, but she’s not doing great. I… Can’t really talk to her at the moment. She has no idea what I’m saying. We’ll see about getting her a hearing spell when we get back, but I know she won’t like it. I have confidence she can get through this – she’s strong – but it will take some time.”

“Pinkie?”

“She doesn’t seem all that affected, but I’m pretty sure she is. I know she’ll be fine though. It’s Renee I’m worried about.”

Carter nodded. “Her first kill…”

“Our first. For any of us. Even Pinkie didn’t actually… you know.”

Carter sighed. “It’s always difficult. It really does become easier. No, that’s not a good thing.”

“I wouldn’t think it was.”

“Part of me had hoped you ponies would get to live like your world wants – in harmony and friendship and amazing innocence.”

Nova shrugged. “We’re just too curious for that, apparently.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s our choice,” Nova asserted. “Let us face our consequences and don’t feel guilty about it.”

Carter nodded. “I’ll try.” She saluted Nova. “Thank you, Nova.”

Nova saluted back. “Thank you, Colonel.”


~~~


Brutalight had transformed the cardboard box into a simple raft with her magic. They had already caught several dozen fish to eat and had gotten over the seasickness. Rarifruit had her crutches again, Fluttershout’s voice was slowly returning, and Brutalight was currently repairing Rainbine.

“Just… Hold… Still!”

“Not my fault!” Rainbine shouted. “You’re pulling a motor wire! Just replace it!”

“There’s no replacements out here!” Brutalight shouted. “Look around! We’re in an endless ocean. There’s probably not any land at all on this god-forsaken planet! We’re in a prison. So we’re just going to have to make do.”

Rainbine sighed. “I… You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Brutalight took in a sharp breath. “It’s… It’s Okay. We… We’re all angry.”

“Yeah…” Fluttershout rasped.

Rarifruit just burst into tears without any words.

Brutalight hung her head in defeat. “Look… Girls, we lost. We lost our fight, we lost our friends, and we lost our home. We… We need to accept that, and do our best here. We have each other. That’s… That’s something.”

“…Yeah…” Fluttershout agreed. Rainbine nodded as well. Rarifruit just kept crying.

Brutalight looked up into the sky at the huge alien moon. She found herself wondering how this affected the tides of this water world, but before she could complete her analysis she saw something else.

A fireball.

A big fireball.

Something was crashing toward the planet from space.

Brutalight smirked. “Girls, we may have lost, but it looks like we might have something to do.” She pointed up. “Whatever that is… It’s ours now.” She stood tall. “We are going to remember our friends, and we are going to turn this world into our world. For them.”

“Right!” Rainbine shouted, grinning. “This place is ours!”

“Ours,” Fluttershout added.

“…Ours,” Rarifruit managed, looking into the sky.

Four ponies watched the skies with anticipation.