//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 
// Story: Opening Celestia's Heart 
// by Knight of Cerebus 
//------------------------------//

Twilight could identify Celestia's knock anywhere. Always three even raps, loud enough that all present could hear but not so loud as to be jarring. Graceful as everything else about her. "Open!" Twilight called, shifting gears to find the Gala plans among the garden of scrolls and books that she called a study desk. Celestia slipped inside with practiced silence, keeping the two objects on her back as much a surprise as she could. 

"It's almost time for the Gala, Twilight. Is everything ready? Have you found a plus-one?" Twilight pulled a specially marked scroll from its hiding spot, carefully closing the gap it left between the scrolls for Hearts and Hooves Day and the Royal Summit. 

"Well, as it so happens I had a plus-one in mind already." She shot Celestia a sly look, taking in a quick glance at the amazing dress she was currently wearing. It had looked good in Rarity's shop. On Celestia it looked phenomenal...though the academic in her admitted a few biases may have been involved in that judgement. Only, there was something square and brown on Celestia's back. Odd. 

"Who?" 

Twilight giggled. "You, silly."

"Who?" 

"No, really. You. I want us to go as plus-ones. I had the whole thing--" 

"Who?" 

"Come on, Princess, stop pulling my--" Twilight turned around fully to see Celestia standing with two birds perched proudly upon her back. One was a phoenix that was currently holding its beak in the air as if it was the most important creature in the entire world. The other was an owl that was staring at her in curiosity. The papers Twilight had been carrying fell out of her grasp.

"Owl...Owlowiscious!" Twilight rushed forward, craning up to Celestia's back as much as her limited height would allow. She looked at Celestia in disbelief. "Where did you find him?! I searched the Everfree twice!" 

"Missie reminded me that there is more than one forest on the outskirts of Ponyville. Whitetail Woods was where he was hiding, out in one of the old trees. Philomena here helped me flush him out." Celestia patted the phoenix with a wing, and Philomena in turn crowed proudly at the attention. "He seems to still remember ponies fondly enough." Celestia lowered herself slightly, allowing the owl to hop from her back to Twilight's. Twilight winced at the sensation of his talons pricking her, but giggled when he began running his beak through her mane. She nuzzled him in turn, and he gave a gentle 'whooo' in appreciation. 

"Well, as it so happens," Twilight wiped away some forming tears with a shaky laugh, "I happen to have gotten you something, too!" She triumphantly levitated over the scrolls she'd been holding. 

Celestia only raised an eyebrow at this, slipping the star-sigiled ribbon off the roll of paper. "A...new spell?" Celestia hazarded a guess, unfurling the scroll. 

"A plan." Twilight said firmly. Her eyes dazzled with a look of determination. Her brow set firmly, her eyes wide and taking in everything around her. It was that same game face Celestia had seen conquer Discord, Tirek and Sombra. "I figured out a way for us to go public without causing a big stir. Y'know, public about, well, us. It's a little bit...political, but it isn't exactly dishonest, and I have a good itinerary that intertwines it nicely with the Gala." 

Celestia gave a bittersweet smile. "That sounds wonderful, Twilight. However..." She bit her lip. "I am...afraid that this plan may have to wait, unfortunately. Not until next Gala--no, I think the Royal Summit might be appropriate for it, in fact. But this Gala, I may have--well, I invited Discord. Knowing he would...cause a ruckus?" 

Twilight blinked, her eyes lowering to the floor. "You did? Oh...I wanted it to go over well, a-and I tried to make it easier on you so you wouldn't get bored and every--" 

"I know, Twilight." Celestia raised her chin with a wing. "I was thinking of it as just another tedious Gala to meddle with when I sent the invite. I had not considered it would be the first you would be hosting and what that might mean to you until well after it was too late to undo the damage I am sure will be done. I may not be able to prevent Discord from showing up--nor, I believe, should I, given we are doing our best to accept him as a friend--but I will try to minimize what damage he might cause. Unfortunately, that also means that whatever plans you may have had for...us, will have to be put on hold." Celestia sighed, running a wing along Twilight's mane. "I'm sorry." 

Twilight cuddled closer to her and Owlowiscious, leaning into the touch of feathers against her fur. "Apology accepted." She giggled at the owl's soft touch. "I think I can plan around it. What do you need me to do?" 

"What would you like to do?" Celestia's gaze softened. "What sort of plan were you thinking of?" 

"Well, we have to meet-and-greet the guests, right? But we want Discord to feel special and important, so...How about we ask him to come fashionably late?! Oh, he'd love that! Great way to show up everypony, and then we go and talk to him and...yeah, that could work." Twilight nodded. "But what were you thinking?" 

Celestia smiled. "I had not considered that option. My idea was to distract him from the Gala while you tried to run it as smoothly as possible. But I hadn't thought of how the nobles might react to being snubbed. I think we could marry these two plans together quite well."

"You haven't even taken them out to dinner yet." Twilight gave a teasing smile. Celestia rolled her eyes, but shared in the smile herself. 

"I will greet as many nobles with you as I can and then be interrupted by Discord, allowing you to mingle all night and make good impressions."

"Right. Good impressions. Big party. Me." Twilight gave the most awkward of laughs at this. "But, um, that shouldn't be a concern. I only invited half the nobles we usually do." 

Celestia blinked. "You did? How in Equestria did you manage that?" 

"I swapped rooms. There aren't as many seats in the hall I picked out. So I made the whole thing more exclusive, then let the nobles compete for tickets. We, uh, raised a lot of money for charities that way, but I think I may have made a couple enemies, so I might need to make a separate event for the ones who didn't get invited or something." Twilight swiveled a hoof across the floor. 

"I'm sure that with a few invites to a casual garden party we can smooth over any tensions the move might have made. While there we might even explain your reasoning. You wouldn't wish to be overwhelmed during your first Gala as a Princess of Equestria, especially since you took on hosting." 

"Um, actually, I was okay with that part. I just...um...just wanted time for us to have fun." Twilight gave a quiet smile. "I know you hate the meet-and-greet part, so I saved some time for us to dance and have cake and talk with friends." 

Celestia wrapped a wing around Twilight at this information, pulling her closer. The two practically melted against one another. "Have I ever told you that I love you?" 

"You could stand to do it more often." Twilight giggled. "But I guess most of the Gala will have to be distracting Discord, huh?" 

"Oh, I don't know about that..." Celestia gave Twilight a knowing smile. "Sometimes you just have to trust in the people you care about to pull through for you." 


／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼


Discord arrived in a suit, a bow tie and a top hat. He arrived with a flourish of magic and his typical bombastic introduction, as if expecting the world to bow down in awe of his very existence. He arrived with a quick joke and a wink, already strutting forward confidently. He arrived with a twenty foot tall slime monster at his side. The couple were upon him in mere moments, crossing the Gala floor with impressive speed. 

"Discord! So glad you could make it. " Celestia greeted.

"We were worried you didn't get the invite." Twilight added. "Seemed like you didn't reply till the last minute." 

"Well, yes, I simply had to get the right arrangements going. I had to pull a few strings, get in touch with some old friends. I got a last minute cancellation from another old pal of mine, William. He said he had his own party to plan. Something about a snowglobe and a portal." Discord rolled his eyes. "But one of my old buddies from Miskatonic University pulled through for me!" Discord wrapped an arm around the ooze pile, snuggling close to him. "This is the Smooze! Say hello, Smoozey." 

The monster waved a blobby tendril, a hole appearing in its center in the shape of an enthusiastic smile. Twilight's smile strained, which in turn made Discord's grow even wider. "See, isn't he a charmer?" Discord tossed his cane aside with a flick of his wrist. Twilight heard a cat yowl. 

"He's certainly very...enthusiastic?" Twilight shot the Smooze a brittle smile, which was returned by a very friendly and open one. "Well, regardless, we should get you both to your seats." 

Twilight was careful to keep the Smooze off the carpeting as much as possible, leading the odd set of pairs to a table with a view of the Canterlot skyline that still managed to be in sight of the table where she and her friends would be enjoying the evening. The four of them sat down. 

Celestia conjured up a set of tea, handing off cups to each of her guests with delicate care. Discord rolled his eyes at this.

"So who exactly were your plus-ones this evening? You're both such exciting and magnetic mares, after all." Discord's fingers detached from his hands in order to form a set of air quotes. "Did you find some frumpy librarian and a deliciously boring politician to dance away the night with?" Discord gave them both a sneer. 

"As a matter of fact, we did." Celestia replied. The two wrapped their wings around one another and leaned closer together. Discord raised an eyebrow, but the Smooze gave a gurgling 'awwww'. It clicked. 

Discord's eyes went wide with horror at this. "N-no, please! That much concentrated anti-fun is fatal to my species! Have mercy on me! I have a wife and three draconequuelettes!" He conjured up photos of his own face cruedly superimposed on those of a family of five ponies. Celestia giggled at this, while Twilight only have a flat look. 

"Why didn't you invite them, then? The invites had room for them." 

Discord jabbed a thumb at Twilight, turning to face the Smooze with wild and desperate eyes. "You see! She's a walking danger to fun everywhere! This is a pony who grew up playing with toys for pretending to do her homework!" The Smooze shuddered at the thought. Twilight gave a 'humph'. Celestia and the Smooze both gave a good laugh, though. Discord preened, pushing out his chest and closing his eyes in triumph, then shot a sneer over at Fluttershy and Tree Hugger. Celestia noticed this, and the way the Smooze stopped laughing when it in turn began to notice. 

"Well, Twilight, I think we should spare our guest any more distress over our inability to have, ehem, fun. Perhaps we might swap for a bit. You take the Smooze and I take Discord? If only for Discord's own protection." Twilight nodded, then turned to the Smooze with an unsteady smile. 

"Come r-right this way, Mr., uhm, Smooze." She gestured towards one of the unoccupied corners of the party with a strained smile. 

It looked between her and Celestia, tilting its head. Celestia leaned over to whisper 'more fun than she looks'. The Smooze continued to give her an uncertain look, but extended its pseudopods over to where Twilight was leading it.   

The draconequus, for his part, continued to ignore the current proceedings. Tree Hugger had just told a joke about woodpeckers, and so Discord was leering past Celestia, Twilight and the Smooze. Over at Fluttershy. Where she was having fun. Without him. Ignoring him. 

"You know, Discord, you won't attract a mare's attention by being angry." 

Discord blinked. "I beg your pardon? I believe you may be insinuating something." Celestia's tongue--now suddenly forked--became hard to use for language. So she shook her head, returning it to normal, and began anew. 

"Insinuating? I merely see the way your attention appears to be wandering. If you're looking to impress a mare, you could start by at least attempting to look like you're not trying to make her jealous." Celestia gave a giggle. "And we'd both have more fun that way, too." 

"Fun?" Discord spat the word. "You? You wouldn't know a joke if--" A large billboard with arms and legs reading 'joke' kicked Celestia's flank at that, causing her to jolt in her seat and give a yelp. "That happened." Discord hid an unbearably smug smile behind his teacup while she inspected her rump for bruising. 

"Oh yes? I can be known to have fun from time to time." Celestia glanced back with a dainty smile. 

"Right. Nothing more fun than grading Twilight's magic assignments and sorting through tax proposals." Discord rolled his eyes, taking another sip of tea. 

"Perhaps. I enjoy the reactions my attention brings to the ponies they matter to, however. Just as I enjoy the reaction you're going to have when you hear what I put in your tea." Discord raised an eyebrow. 

"Your highness, I assure you nothing you could do to my tea would surprise me." He waved a claw, then frowned. "Where's my tiny violin? Excuse me, I may need a moment to--" He waved the claw again. Still nothing. 

"Process the magic-nullifying properties of plundervine root extract? I should hope so. Oh, I have been saving this one up for a rainy day." Discord immediately spat the liquid all over her face, his eyes bugging out at her words. 

"You did what to me?!" 

"That is correct." Celestia dabbed at her face with a napkin, her gentle smile ever present. "For the next four hours--if my estimates are correct--you will have no access to any of your chaos magic. It will soak into the plundervine root currently going through your stomach." 

"You poisoned me!" Discord grasped his throat, eyes boring a hole through Celestia with nothing but contempt.

Celestia's face fell. "Oh, how saddening. I thought the spirit of chaos would enjoy being thrown for a loop. I would be happy to cure you--the antidote is in my own tea at the moment." Discord immediately reached for it, but Celestia put a hoof over the cup. "Unless, of course, you're interested in impressing me. But silly me. It seems your attention belongs to only one mare tonight. A pity. These Galas are terribly dull. I was hoping someone might be able to lighten the event up. That is why I invited you, after all." 

Discord raised an eyebrow. "You were the one who invited me?" 

"A personal request. I find your antics quite amusing. But sometimes they lack in...hmm, subtlety, shall we say?" She glanced over at Fluttershy with a knowing smile. "If you really want to make a mare jealous, show her how much fun you're having without her. That will get her attention in all the right ways. Unless you'd like to go back to moping. Twilight and I would like to enjoy a dance tonight, after all." 

Discord seethed, his teeth grit and his eyes narrowed. Celestia waved at where Twilight was currently putting a hoof on a despondent-looking Smooze, giving the mare a wide smile and a special wink. Twilight raised a hoof to her mouth and then waved in turn, repeating the wink. Discord rolled his eyes, then put his hands on his chin and blew out a raspberry. At once his eyes widened. "Well I'll be. It really does work..." 

"Now you're learning." Celestia flicked his top hat off with a bat of her wing. "You have a sense of humor, don't you? Show me. The Discord I invited wouldn't spend the evening wallowing in self-pity. Let's laugh the whole stuffy drag off together, shall we?"

"Well...I suppose just a little fun won't hurt. But Hydia will have my horns if I don't bring the Smooze back by curfew!" 

Celestia chuckled. "Yes, yes, curfew. I know how you have such an abiding respect for rules and regulations. Speaking of...Did you dress to fit the occasion? Your outfit looks the part of somepony trying to make a mockery of the Gala. Tell me, was it hard gathering all that lint from under Fluttershy's bed?" Celestia sipped her tea quietly. 

Discord's eyes widened. Then narrowed into a sneer. "At least it wasn't that hideous abomination you wore to Twilight's coronation. I doubt even you will live long enough for 'leftovers from a carpet factory' to come into vogue."

"I'll have you know my own royal tailor spent hours making that dress fancier than Twilight's own in a bid to further his career. How dare you crush his ego like that." Celestia gave him a mock-glare. 

Discord actually laughed at that, surprising both of them with the modest chuckle. "Let me get this straight. You find all the endless bowing ponies throw at you as tedious as anypony with half of a brain would? I would've thought it all went straight to your head the way the royal bakery goes straight to your flank."

Celestia smirked. "I suppose mounting frustration does tend to form in the head, so you aren't entirely incorrect. I sometimes I have to invoke laws against torture to get them to stop, though." 

"I think I have an idea." Discord smirked. "And it doesn't involve any magic at all." He snapped his fingers, rising from his chair. Then looked at them in confusion, before giving a snicker. "Sorry, force of habit." 

Celestia also rose. "I have only one condition. You may harass me however you wish, but you may bring no harm upon my subjects. I do not find that amusing, frustrating as their enthusiasm can be." 

"Oh, I won't do anything of the sort." Discord crossed his heart with a smirk. "Nyarlathotep Scout's honour. I just need to get some punch. Would you join me?" 

Celestia rose, trying to hide her curiosity and excitement. Perhaps Discord truly had something clever up his sleeve after all. 

The ponies by the punch bowl were speaking about the state of their bit holdings with an eye for ego-boosting, explaining how much or how little they paid their servants, how large their estates were, what famous artists they'd managed to poach paintings from. Discord looked at them all with thinly-veiled contempt, then opened his mouth with a devilish grin. "Excuse me, everypony. Might I have your attention? It's time we begun the evening's main event!" 

He shot a knowing glance over at Celestia, who gave a gentle nod. The nobles, who had been doing their best to politely ignore Discord before, snapped to attention at this. "The crown proudly announces a competition befitting the evening: the Gala Kitchen Appreciation Drive! Whoever can show the most appreciation for the foodstuff produced by the royal kitchens will earn their favour, and a special medal awarded by the judge, Princess Celestia herself. Can you confirm, your Majesty?" Celestia raised an eyebrow, but gave another nod. 

"I...can confirm." The nobles shared glances, wondering what exactly was being asked of them. Discord was all-too happy to answer. 

"The foodstuff of choice--your medium for showing your appreciation of Princess Celestia's personal staff--is cheese." Celestia raised an eyebrow at this, a smile already forming. The nobles looked at him in confusion. Discord continued. "An arbitrary yardstick, true, but an important one nonetheless. The palace staff voted on which food they believe the royal kitchens prepare most exquisitely, and cheese was selected as its finest product, followed of course by wine." At the mention of wine and cheese, the nobles began to nod along. As those were the two greatest foodstuffs known to equine kind, it only made sense the kitchen would pride itself on making them. Discord continued.

"Endorse the cheese and you endorse the kitchens themselves. Ergo, whoever can demonstrate the most fanatical endorsement of the kitchen's cheese supply before the evening is over will win the favour of the royal kitchens and their medal of merit. The contest will be graded on enthusiasm, originality and scope. Thank you. That will be all." Discord clapped twice, then floated his way back over to Celestia. "And now we wait." Already the nobility had broken into an excited buzz, confusion on how exactly to utilize cheese in their bid to impress Celestia spreading like a plague amongst them. 

"Your Majesty!" A particularly well-to-do noble broke off from the crowd. "I pledge to donate fifty percent of my current kitchen cheese production for the evening! I will have my servants bring it at once!" There was a gasp from the nobles assembled. 

Discord frowned, but Celestia beat him to the answer. "A generous offer, my little pony, but the contest is regarding appreciation for the kitchen staff's own food, not yours. Donations will not suffice in this case. We expect a spirited show of cheese enthusiasm." Discord and Celestia shared a gleeful look, Celestia holding back her giggling and Discord not even bothering. 

The noble harrumphed, turning away with a flourish of her magnificent dress. The other nobles in turn began discussing again. While the elder nobles began to discuss dry plans of arranging special cheese plates, the younger ones began to descend towards the depths of insanity Discord had hoped for. The more desperate for recognition, the more lunatic the scheme to impress the crown. The younger nobles broke apart, while the elders began to arrange the cheese present into all manner of increasingly elaborate displays. At first they were simple cheese platters, but once one of the nobles began to stack the cheese into a tower, the works began to take a turn for the abstract and, as competition soon mounted, a turn for the whimsical. 

"You're a genius." Celestia whispered. 

"I'm only surprised you didn't find a way to exploit their parasitic ladder-climbing sooner." Discord fired back, watching with glee as one of the nobles began to melt a vast collection of cheeses together with clumsily-managed fire magic.   

"Oh, I have, but never on a scope like this." She marveled at the bizarre constructs her little ponies were beginning to assemble. The Statue of Equity, the Colosstallion of Pones, the Pona Lisa and more were being assembled from cheese, and orders went out to the kitchens with increasing desperation to find more. Two nobles were making Eiffur Towers out of cheese wedges, one doing a hurried job and the other a slower and more dedicated recreation. When the faster one finished, she summoned a servant to her side, who blew a low, droning note on the bugle that toppled over the other noble's half-finished Eiffur Tower. While her rival fumed, a particularly confident noble approached Celestia with a strange monstrosity of fused cheeses on a silver platter. 

"For Her Majesty's own taste buds alone, I present a cheese masterpiece. This phenomenal creation contains every flavour and type of cheese found in the royal kitchens, all melted and then expertly cooled into one harmonious whole." He gave a low bow, offering up the entire plate to Celestia. She looked at the abomination with caution. Despite the stallion's assurances, the cheeses looked more like they had been forced together by some unholy ritual than harmoniously blended. The colours of each intertwined in strange ways, wart-like bubbles forming at the borders, and marks where the 'boiled' cheese had been burnt by clumsily applied fire magic littered the peculiar assault upon the senses.

Discord saved her from the horror, however. "I believe it would be more devoted were you to eat the entire thing, myself. What do you think, Your Majesty?" 

Celestia gave a grateful nod. "That only makes sense. After all, it isn't my appreciation of cheese that is being called into question." She said this with all the severity of the grave, causing Discord to burst into fresh giggles. The noble glanced at his Frankenstein's creation with trepidation, but began to eat it as best he could. He gave unconvincing moans at the quality of his own cheese, and then one of the elder matrons was leading them on a tour of the other cheesy creations. Artists the nobles were not, and even the best sculptors could not have asked for a more outlandish medium, so the statues and paintings recreated in front of them looked more like surrealist expressions of existential terror than the height of equinity they were going for.

"Do you see how my Pona Lisa captures the enigmatic mystique of the pony condition, Majesty?" Said one of the nobles. She swept a hoof over a construct, basking in pride when Celestia soaked in the soulless nature of its empty black eye sockets.  

"It will remain in my memories." Celestia said diplomatically, trying not to look it directly in the eye.

"My creation was based on Griffolangelo's David, majesty. I believe it expresses the power and dignity of its blue cheese heritage quite nicely." One of the arms fell off at this. "I-I mean my fusion model of the Venus de Mylittle and David! See how it combines the best traits of both?" 

"With crystal clarity." Celestia deadpanned, Discord laughing behind her. The noble's brow began to bead with sweat, and when another one of his creation's limbs began to sag into nonexistence, he gave a hasty bow and beat a retreat. Just as she was about to be wowed with yet another crime against equinity sculpted in cheese form, one of the younger nobles burst forth from the kitchens. These were the up-and-coming aristocrats, and their desperation made their pledges shine above all the others. 

The noble, coated from top hat to dress shoes in cottage cheese, pulled out a cane. To the horror of all assembled, he began to dance and sing. "Royal cheese! Royal cheese! Give me some of that oh please! Royal cheese! Royal cheese! Of that I must have more than bees!" Discord and Celestia shared a look at that particular rhyme. "So royal cheese, set me free! Tell me that my bid succeeds!" He took off his top hat and cane, flinging them both into the air. Then he slid down the floor on his knees, coming to a stop beneath Discord and Celestia. The discarded objects landed with a splat behind him. 

"I believe we have a winner." Discord and Celestia shared a look, the two of them not even bothering to hide their laughter at this point. Celestia put a hoof to her chin when the noble began to bask in their approval, however. 

"Well...originality and enthusiasm were most certainly there, but I believe you may have missed the point of the contest, my little pony." The stallion looked crushed, his eyes starting to water. Celestia pouted, and Discord placed a claw upon her shoulder. 

"Can you really say no to a face like that?" Just as they began to discuss, a mare rode out on a pair of cheese wheels, juggling a set of cheddar triangles with an overwide smile and balancing upon the rolling sets of Camembert like a lumberjack upon a log. She did a twirl, barely keeping balanced, and then wobbled her way over to the pair of pranksters. At last she kicked the cheese wheels away, landing in a painful-looking splits with a wince. Her outstretched hooves missed catching the cheddar wedges, which instead landed on her head one after the other. The pair of spectators winced at each drop. Another noble's entourage saved her from their judgement. 

"His Majesty Prince Blueblood announces: Fashion A La Fondue! A show in five flavours!" A parade of posing ponies came from the kitchen door carrying the stallion in question in a gigantic tub. His dinner jacket was on the hoof of one of the many servants, as was his dress shirt. Completely straight-faced, the servants carried Blueblood and a mixing pot of the kitchen's finest melted cheese towards Celestia and Discord. The two of them nearly lost it at the sight, barely holding in the guffaws that demanded to be let out. Giggles began to escape when Blueblood struck a flirtatious pose, a servant pouring the molten cheese along his chest and neck in what were certainly meant to be slow, sensuous trails. Celestia raised a hoof. 

"That's quite enough, everypony. You've given us both--snrrk--quite a performance. We'll need to think on how to decide on who is...most fit for...this most gracious award." 

"What?!" Blueblood spluttered. "But what are we supposed to do with all this cheese?!" He gestured around at the towers, displays, props and platters that had accumulated throughout the main dining hall, then at himself and the cottage cheese pony. At this, a gigantic, abnormally long tongue wrapped itself around the cottage cheese pony and stripped him of his delectable coating in one swift motion. 

Pinkie Pie began carving trails in the leftover cheese like the world's largest and most aggressively coloured caterpillar, her hooves spining in a strange cartwheel motion that laughed at limitations like anatomy and gravity. The nobles watched this display in utter bafflement, the sculptures they had worked so hard upon disappearing into the voracious void that was crawling its way across the various tables. The Pink menace stopped only when she had consumed all but the cheese that was currently running its way down Prince Blueblood. She took one look at him, grimaced, and then gave a shrug. "You're on your own, pal." 

Blueblood gave a 'hmmph' and turned proudly towards Celestia, his nose raised triumphantly in the air. "I believe that leaves me as the last noble standing. I win!" 

"Truly, Prince Blueblood, your originality and enthusiasm were very winning." Celestia said this with a wing covering her lips, holding back the giggle fit as best as she could. "But I'm afraid that none of you quite understood the point of the competition. Because of that, the award must go to your cleanup crew." 

The assembled nobles balked. "All that for nothing?!" The now cottage-cheeseless pony barked. 

"I'm afraid so, my little ponies. While many of you had a great passion and originality in the way you expressed your art, not one of you actually deigned to eat the food in front of you. The kitchen staff regrets to inform you that they feel slighted by the way you trivialized their delicacies in your bids to impress me. By contrast, Pinkamena Diane Pie, you have showed great enthusiasm for the staff's cuisine, devouring it in ways wholy original and immense in scope. I proudly award you the prize for your efforts." 

At Celestia's words, Discord conjured up a medal in the shape of a wheel of brie with a piece cut out, pinning it upon Pinkie's dress with a delicate paw. "To the rest of you, as a consolation prize for your participation I would be happy to grant you a pick of tonight's surplus from the kitchens to take home with you. Thank you one and all for your dedication, although in future you may wish to consider focusing on the importance of the contest, and not simply upon impressing me. I am very flattered by the attention, of course, but do consider the opinions of others in your bid to win my favour. Nothing earns my gratitude quite like a bit of consideration for my staff." Celestia gave a wink. The crowd began to disperse, grumbling and staring at the floor at this latest twist. Some ponies tried to hide their growing embarrassment. Others went back to talking like the whole affair had never happened. 

At last Celestia could hold it in no longer. The two disappeared in a flash of chaos magic, finding a secluded spot near the edge of the party to release their pent-up laughter. They laughed long and hard, the wonders and horrors of the nobility's desperation for approval fresh in their minds. Celestia attempted to regain her composure, but a brief, fleeting memory of the cottage cheese pony's bee rhyme caught her in the snare of the giggles once more. She laughed so hard that she did not notice the tiny gem materializing upon her peytral with a delicate pink glow. 

Once they had calmed themselves down a bit, Discord gave a little clap. "You were quite right, Your Majesty! That was more fun than I've had in ages. I didn't even bother using my freshly-regained chaos magic!"

"Freshly regained?" Celestial blinked.

"It came back after about half an hour. But you were quite right. Letting those noble ponies dig themselves into their own holes was much more fun!"

Celestial laughed once more. "I'm very glad to hear you're in much higher spirits. I had some ideas for where we could go from here."

Discord offered her a claw at this. "You know, Princess. We could ditch this whole gloomy old party entirely. Find ourselves a spot to really have fun. Forget Fluttershy. Forget the Gala. This isn't half of what I'm capable of. Let's aleope for the night." 

Celestia only raised an eyebrow at this. "I beg your pardon?" 

"What I'm saying is...Princess Celestia...will you be my plus-one tonight?" Discord got down on one talon, extending his claw out to her with a look of genuine affection. Celestia gave a bittersweet smile at this. 

"I'm afraid I have to decline, Discord." She said the words as gently as possible. 

Discord drew back, his muzzle wrinkling at the rejection. "Why not?!" 

"I already have a plus-one, and am quite happy with them, thank you." Celestia smiled again. "But we can still enjoy this evening on its own terms, can we not? Can we not simply be two friends enjoying some time away from plus-ones and Galas and special someponies for a change?" Celestia glanced over at Fluttershy's table, where she, Twilight and the other girls were talking amicably. 

"Please!" Discord swiveled his wrist in irritation. "What could that eggheaded nag do for you that I don't? She just adds to the tedium. Seeking your approval just like every other pony in here. I can give you an escape. A release. Infinite cosmic power at the snap of my claws, and it could all be yours." 

"And yet," Celestia said, "this is the second time tonight such an offer has been turned down. What, then, are you missing?" Celestia smiled gently, then turned to where Twilight was comforting a sagging Smooze and raised her voice. "Twi-light? Would you mind if Discord and I talked on the balcony?"

"Oh, um, sure! Just make sure not to break anything while you're out there! I didn't rent that part out for the night!" Twilight gave a nervous smile, then turned back to the Smooze. It began to gesture something to her, and then the two disappeared with a burst of pink light.

"That's why. Because when I go against Twilight's wishes, she respects my choice. Because when I told her to leave Canterlot, instead of throwing a tantrum about how horrible I was and locking herself in her tower, she went out into the wider world and learned more about herself. Because the only reason we are able to have this conversation right now is that Twilight forgave you against all of her better judgement, out of respect for my wishes. She does not simply 'seek my approval'. She respects and cares about me, and she respects and cares about my entire life, not merely the parts of which she approves. Why would I want to escape from that? That is something more valuable than the best-crafted joke and more important than anything infinite magic could ever conjure up." 

Discord wilted. "Blegh." He crossed his arms. "You had to ruin the mood, didn't you? Going all sappy. Fine. I'll just go find Smoozey and--" 

"Oh, I was the one getting sappy, was I? Somepony just propositioned me mid-prank war. And there wasn't even a punchline." Celestia pouted. "Or were you only interested in telling jokes with me if it meant I'd be your precious plus-one?" 

Discord looked actively offended at this, his mouth hanging open for a second. Then he narrowed his gaze, fresh hurt welling up in his eyes. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Fine! Yes, all I care about is spiting that stupid hippy nitwit! Same old Discord, up to no good. What do his feelings matter to anypony! He couldn't possibly really care, could he? He doesn't have feelings to get hurt! Happy now?" Discord sagged, his bitterness caving in on itself. He continued to walk away, his feet dragging. 

Celestia slunk up behind him,  placing a hoof against his dangling paw. "It's alright to tell her your feelings are hurt, you know." 

"Not like anypony would listen." He left his hand in her hoof, continuing to walk towards the Gala exit with his paw now missing. "I'm always the last one picked on the hoofball team. I'm the one everypony shoots funny looks at. And look at you. You're first in everypony's heart."

"Not my own sister's." Celestia stressed, conjuring a magic line of golden thread  and beginning to sew his paw back together. "She never tells me when she's hurting. It eats away at her. And then she lashes out, and the two of us both suffer for it. She never lets me mend what we have." 

"I thought what we had mattered to you." Discord spat out the last word, pulling his claw away from her and flapping his wrist. With a wave of his paw, the sewing turned into cobwebs that hung around his horns gloomily. "But I just up and get left in the dust like it's nothing. First her, now you. Not like you'd understand what that's like."  

"You're right. I don't understand what you're feeling. And she doesn't either. What I do understand is that you do matter, more than I think you know. You should tell her you aren't feeling that way. Not angrily, or hidden behind your chaos magic. Just...tell her. You'd be surprised at the response you get." 

"Yes, I should just up and tell her I was going to ruin her entire evening. That will go well!" Discord turned away from her, crossing his arms and placing a set of chains with a heavy padlock over his heart. "What if she hates me for it? Had you considered that? You have hundreds of friends, miss Princess-of-Friendship-Land. I only have the one." 

Celestia wrapped her hoof around Discord's talon and squeezed. "Well now you have the two." 

Discord's eyes widened, his jaw hanging open slightly. He turned around to stare at Celestia. The look she was shooting him wasn't one of mirth. It was of a pony that cared about him. Not merely the parts she approved of. Even the petty, grinchy old Discord. He blinked at the sight of a pink light shining against her peytral, a small gemstone growing in size proudly. But that was not his concern now. He squeezed her hoof back, then gave a nod. "Right." With that, he snapped his fingers, appearing between Fluttershy and Tree Hugger with a flash. 

Celestia followed suit, appearing beside Discord with a flash of light. He looked at her in confusion, but she gave a quick nod and a look asking for a moment's trust. Discord gave a shaky nod back. "Good evening, my little ponies. Have you all been enjoying the Gala thus far?" 

"Oh yes." Fluttershy spoke up. Discord's face soured behind her. "Tree Hugger and I have been catching up on efforts to work with the Breezies on hummingbird conservation. She also mentioned to me that Granny Smith is currently putting out a call to make Whitetail Woods a national park, which I think is a lovely idea. I was thinking we could stop by Sweet Apple Acres and try to pitch in at some point." 

"I, uh," Twilight blushed. "I may have made a new couple." She gave a sheepish grin, ducking her head at the stares her statement earned. "The Smooze turned out to be a pretty nice guy, and he said he felt a little out of place and that he wasn't getting as much out of the evening as he liked. So I started to tell him about how Ponyville could get really weird and that I could show him sometime and then I remembered the pony who loves giant jars of jelly and...and then suddenly I was introducing them and then...well, they uh, they decided to skip the after-party." Twilight tapped her hooves together sheepishly. Discord only raised an eyebrow at this, and an awkward silence soon began to form. Celestia turned back to Fluttershy. 

"I'm very glad to hear you've all had a good evening. Would you mind if I borrowed Twilight for a moment? I believe I promised her a dance earlier this evening." The assembled group of ponies paled in near-unison, each of them sharing quick, darting glances between their now-shrunken pupils. Twilight, for her part, looked around at the strange tableau with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips.

"Ya wanna dance with Twilight?" Applejack at last broke the silence, sweat beading upon her brow. Twilight looked her over, trying to parse where this odd nervousness came from.

"Maybe something a little...slow?" Pinkie ventured nervously. "Like, you two could do a waltz! And Celestia could lead! Like, just do...everything?" 

"I don't understand. Pinkie Pie, you told me my dancing was the most memorable part of my last birthday party. And Applejack, you said that everypony should see me dance at least once in their lifetime. Have I gotten worse?" The other ponies made noncommital grunting noises, sweat now running freely down most of their faces. Celestia decided to save all present company from the inevitable confession. It was true that Twilight's general understanding of the concept of dancing was to fling her hooves about as if she was trying to detach them from her body via whiplash. But a pony who knew Twilight as well as she did also knew that there was an exception to this immutable law of the universe. 

"I appreciate the concern. Truly, I do. But I can assure you Twilight and I have some experience with the particular genre that I have in mind. A little something Cadence taught Twilight and I when she first came to the palace. A coastline specialty from a province near her native Istallia." Celestia gave them a wink. "Would you put on some Flamenco music, Discord?" 

"Oh, Princess--with everyone watching? I mean, I guess I could..." Twilight looked around at the assembled ponies, a blush spreading across her face. They were all staring at her in confusion. "B-but it'd have to be the right song. I didn't put anything like that on the record I picked out...And...and I'm not exactly in the right dress..." 

"Something with a good percussion, if you would." Celestia smiled at Discord knowingly, then flicked her gaze over to Rarity. "Rarity, would you mind helping us find something appropriate for a more energetic dance? Applejack, Tree Hugger? Would you mind assisting? We can change while Discord finds an upbeat song." Celestia initially made to begin walking, but a little tug from Twilight reminded her that she should wait for the others' assent before launching into her plan. 

"I would be flattered, your Majesty. What will we be needing?" Rarity hopped out of her seat. The other two ponies looked first at Discord and then at Fluttershy. 

"Come on, ponies! Where's your sense of adventure?!" Discord cut in, now dressed entirely in black and wielding an acoustic guitar. 

"Well...s'long as you keep on your best behaviour. But don't you go doin' nothin' crazy." 

"Nothing I'm not already planning on," Discord gestured to another version of himself that was manifesting, this one also dressed in black and giving a few claps to emphasize his point. 

Applejack shot Discord a warning glance, while Tree Hugger simply gave him a vacant nod and went gladly on her way. Celestia led the procession away from the table, and soon it was just Discord, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. 

"Did you have fun this evening?" Fluttershy looked over at Discord with a gentle smile. "I didn't know you'd want to come to something as stuffy as the Gala. I hope we didn't bore you too much."  

"Truth be told I had a lot of fun." Discord gave his trademark twisted smile. "I think I may have made a new friend, even. But I did want to talk to you about something. I...may have come here with not exactly the best intentions in mind." 

Fluttershy tilted her head. "What do you mean? I didn't notice anything different." 

"Right, yes, well. The truth was...Fluttershy, I was jealous of you and Tree Hugger." He spat out the words, bowing his head. "I was going to try to show you both up with the Smooze and I, and make a mess out of your perfect evening. I was a poor friend to you and yours." He pulled off his ears and held them to his chest like a hat. "I hope you can forgive me." 

Fluttershy's face darkened. "Oh, Discord. Why would you do a thing like that?" 

"I may have...ehem, over reacted a little. I thought that...since you brought Tree Hugger along to the biggest night of the year...that you'd stopped caring about me. But I see now that you can have different friends you do different things with, and not care any less about your old friends because of the new ones. I think I just made a friend like that, in fact. And I'm sorry for the trouble I wanted to cause, even if the evening turned out better than I'd dreamed it would." He gave a lopsided smile and offered his paw. "Friends?" 

"Friends." Fluttershy gladly shook the hoof. "But I'm not the only one you should apologize to. Tree Hugger means a lot to me, and you hurting her would have hurt me, too."

"I would be glad to apologize...provided we still have our Teatime Tuesday lined up?" Discord gave a nervous chuckle. 

"Oh, silly." Fluttershy poked his nose, earning a wrinkle of distaste from the chaos god. "I wouldn't let a little jealousy come between us like that. So long as you're sorry and you know what to do next time, that's what really counts." The two shared a tender smile.

"Well, ehe. Here goes nothing." Twilight arrived at the top of the stairs in a tight red dress with a backless cut. "Well, uh, how do we look?" Twilight pulled the hem of her dress, testing the fabric's flexibility. Stretchy enough not to tear. Good. Her friends continued to stare at her with the odd mix of worry and confusion. It was honestly baffling. They'd seen her dance before and it'd left them all with their jaws on the ground. Why the sudden looks of mortal terror? 

She looked over at Celestia. Her own dress was so tight against her barrel that Twilight could see her pectoral muscles through the fabric, the backless cut accentuating the powerful shoulderblades that led to that magnificent wingspan. She fought back a blush. Everypony was staring. She'd kinda hoped this would be a bit more quiet. Just between the two of them. But then the music came on. A trio of Discords with hideous pencil moustaches and jet black wardrobes began strumming acoustic guitars, two more tapping their talons to the beat. Twilight began to sway, one hoof already tapping to the rhythm. 

Upbeat, spicy, and with a beat she could hear easily above the rest of the soundtrack. Her hooves started moving almost of their own accord. The Discords started clapping, and Twilight began to twirl in place, pivoting as if she were a ballerina. Of course, she couldn't actually lift her legs that high, but the effect was still there. She grabbed Celestia by the hoof, and the two of them descended the stairs, her leading Celestia this time. She crossed her back hooves one after another, making sure her careful steps matched the precision of the beat. 

She did a pivot, snapping her hooves against one another in quick claps and then tugging Celestia along by a ribbon afixed to her dress with a pull of one sinuous hoof. The two of them reached the center of the dance floor, and Twilight truly let her hooves carry her then. The music reached a crescendo of rapid-fire staccato, and Twilight's hooves flew along with it, leaving her friends' eyes bulging out of their sockets. This was the same pony who almost gave Applejack a concussion? 

But this was a different music and a different dance. With just the rhythm of the drums to guide her and her hooves moving in tight and measured motions, Twilight was in her element. Just for show, she did a quick duck under Celestia's barrel, throwing her dress to one side with a flourish. Then the music reached a second peak, this one louder and faster, and Twilight recognized the song ending. With one last beat of her tiring hooves, she slowly moved her front legs above her head, emphasizing the way her dress hugged her barrel. She sidled up to Celestia, who was bowing low to emphasize Twilight's standing tall, and at last the final beat of the song came to its scattering halt. Twilight struck the final pose, then shot a nervous glance around the room. 

Her friends exploded into cheers. Applejack tossed her stetson. Several Discords applauded heartily, one of them picking his jaw off the floor. Her eyes followed the smiling faces of her friends until they caught the shine in Celestia's own pupils. She looked down to see a bright pink gemstone affixed to Celestia's peytral, positioned proudly beside the Element of Generosity. She saw the band of Discords winking, and she realized in that moment that Celestia was right. Maybe she just needed a little more faith in people she'd once called her enemies after all.