Chapter the Second or “The Point Where A Good Majority of Bronies Would Squee”
Have you ever gotten the feeling that you were almost laughably under-qualified for a relatively easy task? That’s how I felt the majority of the week preparing for Fluttershy to move in. I mean, how often do one’s childhood memories come back to live with him?
Without the help of hallucinogens, that is.
Anyway, after cleaning the house for the umpteenth time, I decide to do what I probably should have done in the first place: watch ponies. Digging out my old high school flash-drive, I watched the first episodes of the show I had seen in years.
And you know what?
I loved every second of it.
After all these years the humor still hit home, the characters were still relatable and the show was still brilliant. Closing my laptop with a smile on my face; I went to bed knowing that everything would turn out ok or, at least, as ok as is humanly possible.
Finally, Friday arrived and I had everything ready for my new roommate. Practically skipping down the lobby; I hum a few chords of “Smile, Smile, Smile”-
CRASH!!!!
-and crash right into a massive collection of boxes.
“Hey! Why don’t you watch where you’re going, weirdo?!”
A massive collection of boxes with an attitude, apparently.
A green haired teenager pops out from the pile, obviously annoyed. “Oh, great, Twilight’s gonna KILL me!” he groans.
I just stare at him for a little while before grabbing him in a bear hug. “OHMYGOD, YOUDOEXIST!!!!! HOWILOVEYOU, YOUSURLY, LITTLE, LIZARDTHING!!!!!” I cackle as I noogie the poor kid.
“What’s your deal, man?!” he yelps in surprise. “TWI?! This freak’s giving me a random hug!!”
“Sebastian?” squeaks out a familiar voice. I turn to see Fluttershy, obviously terrified for her life (as well she should be).
I give her a wild grin and shake her by her shoulders. “CANYOUBELIEVETHIS, FLUTTERSHY?! THEYDOEXIST!!!!!”
“Well yes, they are my friends…” the poor girl whimpers; dangling helplessly in my grasp.
“IKNOW!!!!” I laugh hysterically.
“Uh, guys? Is there something wrong?” asks another familiar voice, this one more confused than scared. A tan, bookish girl in a purple t-shirt shows up, holding a stack of books in her hands. A head full of purple, complete with a streak of hot pink, indicates who she is.
“OHMYGOD, TWILIGHTSPARKLE!!!! YOU’RETWILIGHTSPARKLEANDYOU’REHUMANANDYOU’REREALANDTHISISREALLYHAPPENING!!!!” I cry as I let Fluttershy fall and I hug Twilight instead.
She is, of course, completely baffled. “Fluttershy, do you know this guy?” she asks tentatively.
“...He’s my roommate.” she admits meekly.
“Ooh, is this a party? Can I join?” A cheerful, pink clad girl skips up with and eager smile.
I drop Twilight to hug her too. “OHMYGOD, YOU’REPINKIEPIEANDYOU’REREALANDTHISISREALLYHAPPENING!!!!!”
She, in turn, embraces me back as if I was a long lost brother. “IKNOWI’MPINKIEPIEANDI’MREALANDTHISISREALLYHAPPENING!!!!!” she cries happily.
“IKNOWYOUKNOWTHATYOU’REPINKIEPIEANDTHATYOU’REREALANDTHATTHISISREALLYHAPPENING!!!!”
“IKNOWYOUKNOWIKNOWTHATI’MPINKIEPIEANDI’MREALANDTHISISREALLYHAPPENING!!!!!”
“IKNOW!!!!!!” I cackle joyously. Turning immediately to Fluttershy, I give her another crazed grin. “DOYOUKNOW?!?!?!”
The poor girl is obviously startled. “Um, I think so…”
Pinkie Pie also turns to Twilight, giving her the same grin. “DOYOUKNOW, TWILIGHT?!?!?!”
Twilight just sighs. “No, Pinkie, I don’t know.”
I turn to Pinkie once more. “DOYOUKNOW,PINKIE?!?!?” I demand cheerfully.
She shakes her pink, frizzy head happily. “NO!!!!”
“Uh, guys? Do ya mind bein' a bit more... quiet? We’re tryin' hard not tah drop nothing.”
I turn to see a blonde, freckled girl, hands on her hips and giving us an amused smirk. More importantly, however, is the action going on behind her: a small army of colorful characters, all laden with boxes and packages, are all moving into the building.
“Do be careful, darling, that vase cost me quite a pretty penny and I’m rather attached to it.”
“Eeyup.”
“Try not to get in people’s way, Muffin! Just be as helpful as you can!”
“Yes, mum...”
“...C’mon, Chief! It was just a little hat!”
“That 'little hat', dearest Son-In-Law, has been in our tribe for nearly 97 generations!! My father wore it! And his father before him! And-“
“Relax, dad, I’ll fix the headdress.”
“Careful with that! That has some-“
“-delicate materials-“
“-to be used-“
“-in our newest,”
“most fabulous-”
“INVENTION!!!”
“This is an outrage!!! How dare these cretins treat the Great and Powerful Trixie’s personal belongings so callously? WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME?!?!?!”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MOVERS!!!!”
“It’s just so weird using these hands instead of our-“
“SHHHH, BONNIE!!! We’re humans, remember? Always have been, always will be… RIGHT?!?!?”
“Ooh, yes, sorry.”
I feel a happy smile spread across my face, right as my brain explodes.
One fandom induced coma later.
“Oh! Oh my! Mackie!” calls the voice of Fluttershy. “He’s getting up! Could you get the ice pack in the fridge? If you don’t mind?”
“Tain’t a problem, darlin'.” replies a much more relaxed voice.
“Ugh…” I groan as the room comes into focus. “What? Where am I?”
As my vision gets clearer, I can see the outlines of two humans: One pink haired (obviously Fluttershy) and a mysterious redhead.
“Oh, Mackie, we forgot to put on his glasses!” the pink blob cries.
“Don’t you fret, Ah got 'em right here.” I feel the stiff wire of my glasses be pushed gently on my face, revealing that the redhead is in fact one of the biggest dudes I have ever seen. He would be terrifying were it not for the air of total zen around him. Also, he's chewing a wheat stalk, and guys who chew wheat stalks aren’t typically the kind of guys willing to kill you.
“Fluttershy? What happened? Where am I? Who’s the red guy?”
The girl looks over me with a maternal eye. “Oh, Sebastian, you’ve been out cold for two hours! You passed out in the middle of the lobby, so Mackie and I had to help bring you up to your room! I hope that’s ok.”
“Mackie?” I ask groggily. “Who’s Mackie?”
The wheat stalk chewer speaks up. “Ah’m Mackintosh Apple, but most folks call me Big Mac. Ah’m Fluttershy’s-“
“Boyfriend?” I guess, “She told me about you.”
“Did she now?” he grins, looking over at Fluttershy.
She squees and blushes from embarrassment. “The subject came up.” she admits.
I feel the same warm, tingly feeling you get from watching two teenagers in love. “How long have you two been dating?”
Mackintosh smiles at this. “A year and counting!” he says proudly.
“Well, I’m going to be Fluttershy’s roommate from now on, so if I hear one complaint out of her, I’ll make you into Apple pie, you hear?” I threaten jokingly.
Mackintosh nods solemnly at this. “Eeyup.”
“Great! See you later then and thanks for bringing me up!” I say, giving him a hand to shake.
He grips my hand firmly in return. “What are neighbors for?” he replies modestly. Turning to Fluttershy, he nuzzles up to her. “See ya later, darlin'. Granny’s probably got dinner ready by now and Celestia knows she ain’t gonna let Applejack and Apple Bloom eat 'til everypony’s there!”
Giggling, Fluttershy kisses her boyfriend on the cheek. “Thanks for helping me with Sebastian. I’ll see you later.”
He smiles and looks over to me one last time. “It’s been a pleasure meetin' y'all, Sebastian. See ya around the buildin'.”
I nod. “What can I say? Welcome to the neighborhood!”
With a chuckle, he leaves Fluttershy and me alone in my room. Once I hear the door close, I sit up and face Fluttershy directly. “What did he mean, ‘everypony’?” I ask her bluntly.
Fluttershy tenses up at this. “He meant everybody!” she blurted. “He just made a mistake!”
I get closer to my nervous roommate. “Fluttershy? You guys aren’t human, are you?”
“Meep!”
“At least, you didn’t start out human?”
She nods nervously, now looking alarmingly like a deer in headlights.
“Are you- WERE you guys ponies? Did something happen to your home? Are you in trouble?”
At the word “trouble”, the pink haired girl flew out of my room in fear, slamming the door to indicate that she had also run out of the apartment.
“FLUTTERSHY!!” I call as I get up from my bed and run after her. “WAIT UP!!!!”