//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: The Ritual // Story: Proof of Greatness // by DrunkSc1ence //------------------------------// Chapter 1: The Ritual Somewhere, a distraught light blue unicorn was making a less than wise decision. “How dare they mock the Great and Powerful Trixie?!” She seemed... flustered. Wonder why. Nobody tells the narrator anything. Well fine, let's listen to her. “They will pay! They will all pay!” She began to cackle. Really? A cackle, I guess we just found the villain of this story although it would be better if she had a twirly mustache... and a top hat. Scratch that, the top hat would make it far too silly. “Would you please stop talking! The Great and Powerful Trixie is scheming!” She shouted at... me. Sorry, my bad. Man, what a b- “HEY!” She yelled out turning a delightful shade of red. You’re the one being rude to somepony you haven’t even met, much less see. “Right, where are you anyway?” She threw a glare this way and that searching for yours truly. Uhhhhhhhh everywhere I think? Anyway, let’s foreshadow what you’re going to do next. She sat down hard clearly confused and stared towards the sky. “Wait... what?” (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tim~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~) “Trollestia, Molestia, or both?” I looked back towards my friends who stared at me with mixed feelings of shame and disappointment. “Oh come on, it’s an interesting take on the character. Nobody is lawful good IRL.” I shifted my uncomfortable tote bag. Tyler hung his head in shame before responding, “That may be true for us humans, but Celestia is not a human, nor a regular pony now is she?” Sean shrugged, “I would have to agree with Tim here just because it’s quite possible that if we were to ever meet them I’m certain that they wouldn’t be the same as they are on the show.” He said, grabbing his backpack from the trunk of his car. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’d expect them to be the perfect beings they’re made to be, I just can’t imagine Princess Celestia having her little ponies worship the royal plot.” Tyler said, slinging a beat-up black backpack over his shoulder and closing the trunk. “So that’s a vote for the Trollestia? Sounds like it to me.” I say definitively. “I’d have to go for Trollestia as well, all I know is that I wouldn’t want to see Celestia raping everypony.” Sean said removing the hood he wore. Tyler tilted his head back and forth in thought before tilting his fedora over his eyes, “Yeah I could see her getting bored and trolling her little ponies.” “I think I prefer a bit of both. Seems like more fun that way. What’s the point of being a tyrannical ruler if you can’t have some real fun.” I said, trying to make them both uncomfortable with the thought. Sean facepalmed at the thought of me and Celestia hanging out in different ways, “Satin I don’t understand you at times.” Tyler shook his head a bit, “This is why I prefer my lunar princess. Luna nobis custodit.” I gave him a questioning look, “What does that even mean?” Tyler sighed briefly, “The moon keeps us.” Sean facepalmed yet again, “I have a feeling by the time tonight is over I’ll have a big red handprint on my face.” Tyler grinned, “Ya need help with that Bozarth? I’m always happy to lend a hand!” Sean looked at Tyler with an unamused look on his face, “Believe me, you’ve already helped enough.” Tyler just shrugged and placed his hands into his pocket, pulling out a pocket watch. He sighed as he replaced it into his pocket. I raised a brow, “Sigh? What’s your problem?” “I honestly don’t know.” He shrugged again, “Oh well. So... Fluttershy is best pony, agreed?” “First off, you shouldn’t have a problem at the moment for we are in the parking lot of BroNYcon, and of course Fluttershy is best pony. Have you lost your mind my friend?” Tyler yawned briefly, “I just feel off today, I’m usually asleep right about now.” “Complain, complain, complain. How can you be SUCH a bitch? Cheer up there are ponies!” I responded with about half sarcasm. “Oh I am nearly ecstatic, just tired. Plus, would you rather I start whining? If there’s one lesson that Rarity has taught us, it’s that whining solves EVERYTHING!” Tyler responded with a half smile. “Please don’t, I was watching ponies all night last night and when I was about to leave, that episode came on. I don’t need another ear bleed, thank you.” Sean said shaking his head “Children, I will send you to your corner if you don’t start getting along.” I said with a smirk. “Tim, why don’t you go lead a group of knights to their deaths at the hand of a ferocious rabbit.” Sean said, rolling his eyes. Tyler stared at seemingly nothing for a minute before breaking into a large grin, “Can I have a pony in my corner? I promise I’ll love it and play with it and feed it and cuddle it and...” He stopped his list and began laughing, “It is NOT possible to say that with a straight face!” “Of course not.” Sean said chuckling, and taking his headphones from around his neck, placing them over his ears. “Now if you don’t mind, I got some music to listen to.” “No, you’re not excused, you need to socialize with your fellow bronies!” Tyler said, following it up with an evil laugh. “Oh, I will be socializing Kronos, because it appears you didn’t see the emblem on both sides of my headphones” Sean said showing off Vinyl’s cutie mark on the sides of his headphones “Somepony is bound to notice these.” Tyler gave him a sidelong glance, “No, I did. I just don’t understand what that has to do with the conversation... At all...” “Well isn’t it obvious, there are bound to be a lot of Scratch fans in there. Considering the music they play over the speakers and besides no matter how loud my music is, I can still hear anyone who speaks to me, in fact my music is blaring right now.” Tyler threw his hands behind his head, “Wow... You talk... a lot!” “Yeah and you’re an asshole, what’s your point.” “CHILDREN! I SWEAR ON SWEET CELESTIA! I WILL END YOU!” I said with a good amount of venom. “Can you end him first? It sounds like fun to watch.” Tyler just smiled innocently. “Ah go cast your fireballs.” Sean said “What in the name of Luna does that even mean?” Tyler said, cocking an eyebrow. I threw my hands up in defeat and muttered, “Freaking idiots.” under my breath. “Could be worse, you could be stuck with us... Foreeevvveeerrr!!!!” Tyler said, pantomiming Pinkie. (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trixie~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~) I’m telling you this spell is a bad idea. “Shut up, this is happening.” But I saw them, they are dumb as bricks. Bricks of like, even more dumb. “You said they were chaotic. They sound perfect, a little bit of fun chaos here and I’ll have shown up that arrogant foal with a powerful summoning spell.” She said as she went through her books. Looking for her silly spell. “Do you really have to do that?” …Yes? That’s what I’m here for. “Well keep it down, The Great and Powerful Trixie needs absolute silence as she studies.” Well aren’t you a pretentious little pony? Fine let’s hurry this up. Check page 137. “...Really?” Yeah, come on my chaotic neutral pony. Let’s make some... funsies... A look of disgust was thrown in... my direction, I suppose. “Funsies? Really? The voice in my head is just a blathering idiot.” See this is why nopony likes you. She just released a grumble as she went back to going over the spell in the book. Look even the other narrators don’t like you, I’m the closest one to being on your side here. So chill out. “...There are more of you up there?” She gazed hesitantly to the skies. Yes there are, can I say something? She merely nodded before smacking herself across the face. “What was that for!?” She screamed towards what she thought was me. I don’t like you... Hello there, might I just say that this spell is bound to go wrong? You know it, I know it and so do the other two. She smacks herself. Stop it ya’ll, I’m working here! I’m the narrator currently. Fine... Alright... “What... what is going on?!?!?” She asked with a bit of pain in her voice, rubbing her cheek. You’ve gone quite insane. You’re so insane you can hear the story’s narration... Congratulations, now go get mental help... I thought I told you to leave... Fine, I’m goin’, I’m goin’! Sorry about that, they can be so unprofessional at times. Anyway, back to that dastardly plot you were concocting. She fell silent as she layed down and began to read through it a few times, she began to prepare her spell taking great care to get all the details correct. Archaic symbols were drawn on the ground in the circle with her hoof so that they were flawless, a bit of incense was lit (a rather lovely lavender blend), and just a metric butt-load of pale blue unicorn magic. I still don’t think this a good idea Trixie. “Why narrator, would it be fun any other way?” She asked with a smirk. Quite mad indeed. (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tyler~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~) We all stood in awe at the display before us, we had just entered the lobby to be greeted by a man... in a Big Macintosh mascot costume... I was the first to speak, “I-it’s glorious!” “Indeed.” Sean replied from under his blaring headphones. “Freaking furries, ruining everything I love and cherish.” Tim said unenthusiastically. “This has nothing to do with furries, it’s Big Macintosh!” I shouted with a tad too much glee. The man in the costume turned towards us before responding, “Eeeyyup...” Sean slapped his palm on his face, gesturing the start of the night’s stupidity “Let it begin.” We began walking around the convention center before stopping in front of a purveyor of the most glorious goods known to brony-kind... Pony plushies... I ran towards the stand and quickly picked up a Fluttershy plushie, just small enough to fit in my backpack comfortably, and began hugging it dearly. I looked back at the stand to see an equally inviting Luna plushie. My heart and wallet were torn... “I’ll be back for you...” I said with a manly tear falling from my cheek. The man running the stand just grinned at my shenanigans. Sean approached the stand next, looking over the plushies before his eyes fell on every brony’s favorite wall-eyed mail mare. He picked it up from the stall and held it to his chest happily. Tim was the last to get to the stand as he gazed over the large selection of adorableness. He began to rub his chin as he looked at all the plushies individually. He picked up a Doctor Whooves plushie and began to inspect it. “Too 11th Doctor for my tastes.” He placed it back in its area. The vendor just rolled his eyes before turning back to me, “A bit indecisive ain’t he?” I just nodded, “You can’t rush a man in search of perfection.” The man just smiled before watching Tim as he went back to perusing the wide selection. He began to pick up background ponies, as he inspected them and eventually dismissed them in kind. He stopped... His eyes grew wide as they fell on the one... a pink/little filly Celestia. I swear from the look on his eyes he had found the perfect one, the light shone on it invitingly and he took a step towards it. As he was about to grasp it my vision began to fade into black, only to hear Tim release an unhappy phrase, “OH COME ON!” (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sean~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~) As Tim was a few inches from a plushie he decided had to be his, the room seemed to fall into a black abyss leaving the three of us standing in a small forest clearing, confused and uncertain as to our location. The area strangely smelled of lavender, my vision began to clear and I was the first to speak, “Where in the name of Celestia’s peaceful land are we?” Tyler began to shake his head as he came to his senses, “Luna never gets any love...” “Don’t worry, I’ll love Luna.” Tim said with a cheeky smile. “I saw that hand, you were goin’ for Celly and we both know it.” Tyler chuckled. “Guys we are in the middle of a forest, without any idea as to our whereabouts, and you’re worried whether Celestia is getting too much love and if Luna is getting any?” I said after facepalming. “Of course, what’s more important... than... ponies... oh LUNA DAMMIT!” Tyler said as he began to glare at something behind me. “What?” I followed his gaze and saw a light blue unicorn, who I recognized as Trixie. “Oh no, not her, anypony but her.” Tim’s smile grew as he turned his gaze on the pony. “Oh this is just fantastic, I’ll take a real pony over a plushie any day!” He rushed forward as he picked up the pompous pony and gave her a giant hug. “Let go of the Great and Powerful Trixie you bipedal buffoon.” She replied as she squirmed in Tim’s bear hug. “...Hug a pony and piss off Trixie at the same time...? I’m down!” Tyler rushed over and glomped the arrogant little mare. “Are you guys out of your right mind, that’s a villain! You don’t hug villains!” Tyler rolled his eyes, “She’s an antagonist. Villains are far more sinister than this little mare, she’s merely an annoyance.” “You’re merely an annoyance! Unhoof me right this instant!” Trixie shouted, slowing her struggle “You’re too fluffy, sorry... Kinda...” Tyler grinned as he held her tight, his Fluttershy plushie still in his hand. I facepalmed and dragged my hand down my face. “Alright, let’s assess the situation, we are in the middle of a forest, there’s a pony....” I began to list off things that had just happened since we got here... which wasn’t much. “The only reasonable explanation is we are in Equestria, in the middle of the Everfree forest.” Tyler deadpanned, “Tally that onto the list of shit we already know, now are you gunna hug this little pony or not?” “Shut up Kronos.” I said unamused, I walked over and sat next to my friends still hugging the boastful pony. “I got a pony, you can’t annoy me right now.” Tyler said, squeezing Trixie even tighter. “Release The Great and Powerful Trixie this instant!” She commented with a groan. “Do you really want us to let you go?” Tyler asked, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She glared at Tyler, “Of course! This is insufferable!” “Then why haven’t you made us? Surely you have enough magic for the task.” Trixie seemed to look away from Tyler, visibly avoiding his stare as he spoke. “So the way I see it, either you enjoy this more than you let on. Or you’re unsure of whether you’d be able to make us. Though, as I see it, that last one is impossible, you’re too confident in yourself to believe you couldn’t.” “T-Trixie is merely too weak from the summoning...” She stated, turning her head away. Tyler merely raised an eyebrow in suspicion, smiling with a cocksure grin. I placed my hand over my eyes and shook my head at how ridiculous her response was “Really, that’s your excuse?” “Ohhhh you’re so cute when you’re trying to cover your flank.” Tim said rather dreamily. Tyler just chuckled as he replaced his Fluttershy into his backpack, “Keep it rated E here buddy.” “Cute doesn’t equal bangable.” He responded without missing a beat. Trixie just stared at Tim with mixed levels of shock and disgust. “Guys, none of that.” I said with my face still in the palm of my hand. “Come on, you know she is SO many levels of cute!” Tyler said, placing the blushing pony in his lap as he rested his arms over her shoulders, crossing his hands in front of her chest. Tim merely glared at the pony thief. “Okay fine, I’ll admit she is cute, but I don’t feel like hugging an antagonist at the moment.” I said removing my hand from my face. Tyler leaned his head over her shoulder as he commented, “This adorable little ‘antagonist’ just brought us to Equestria. Oh well, more pony for me. Thank you by the way Trixie.” “Yeah thanks, you adorable blue Unicorn. Appreciate it as long as you don’t have some kind of mind control on us now.” Tim stated with his ever-present grin. “Yeah thanks, I guess.” I said smacking Tim across the back of his head. “The fuck was that a for!?” Tim glared at me and punched me hard in the arm. “Don’t give her any ideas Tim.” I said quietly. “Oh come on, mind control would be totally against the law! Whereas... summoning... damnit...” Tim held a hand to his head realizing his mistake. Tyler just shook his head, “Get real, I doubt she’d even try. We wouldn’t be nearly as fun as mindless dolls.” To her credit, Trixie didn’t seem to think much on the idea... hopefully... “Well you...” She glanced up to the skies for a moment before continuing. “humans? Right, humans. Well the Great and Powerful Trixie requires...” She let out a huff. “Some assistance. AND WOULD YOU PUT ME DOWN!” Tyler leaned over her shoulder, “What do you need... and do I have to? You’re just so cute when you pretend to be annoyed.” I raised an eyebrow in her direction, “Help...? Why should we help you?” Tyler glared toward me, “Stop being a prick and hear her out...” “Fine, how can we help, oh Great and Powerful Trixie” I said, shaking my hands next to my head. She shifted a bit uncomfortably in Tyler’s lap, “Well... I...” her ear twitched for a second, “I’m asking them, give me a second!” She yelled to the sky. “Right, Trixie requires your help in showing off her extraordinary magical ability. With Equestria’s only humans as proof of the Great and Powerful Trixie’s magical prowess nopony will ever doubt her again!” She then let out what I can only describe as a maniacal laugh. “...Evil laugh aside... Why do you even care?” Tyler said, idly stroking her mane. I quickly turned up my music, “Nope, sorry can’t help ya.” Tim was a little more insistent, “Come on! Did you hear that? That was probably the most adorable thing I’ve heard in real life. Ever. Forever. Ever.” Trixie merely glared at us and then to the sky once more, “Alright, I have it on good authority that I shouldn’t mind control my minions. So just agree to this and I will send you back.” Tyler smiled a devious grin, “So you’re saying that if we don’t help you, we’re stuck here forever?” Trixie just nodded smugly. “Well, sounds like a plan to me guys.” Tyler said with a shrug Tyler rose to his feet and patted the pony on the head, “Have fun, just remember not to put so much stock into others’ beliefs of you.” Trixie stared at us incredulously, “B-but don’t you want to return home!?” Tyler looked over his shoulder and chuckled, “Whatever gave you that idea?” “Pfft... That place was a living hell, why would we want to go back there?” I stated Tyler rolled his eyes, “Oh stop being such a drama queen. It wasn’t nearly that bad, this place is just better!” Tim just sat beside Trixie and stared at our shenanigans, “Humanity at work, they say if you put 6 humans in a room you’ll come out with 12 opinions.” He chuckled as Trixie shifted her gaze at him. Tyler stopped and lowered his head for a moment and let out a brief sigh, “I’ll help you... but on my terms...” Trixie rolled her eyes, “And what are your ‘terms’ human?” “I just don’t want you using us to stir up trouble and the like, I’m fine with you showing some pride in your success, just don’t rub it in. I can’t support that, oh and you don’t send me back.” Tyler said with a hint of irritation. A sneer appeared on her face, “You do realize I can send you back right now!” “Yes, but then who would hug you?” Tyler said with a light hearted chuckle. “Unfortunately I’m going to have to help you as well if I want to stay considering if I walk away I’ll be sent back, my terms are equal to Tyler’s” I said with a grim look upon my face. Tim laughed, “Can’t you just send them back, I’m totally ok with doing your bidding.” He responded happily. Tyler stared at Tim for a moment before whispering to me, “Should we be worried that he’s already a complete slave to her cuteness?” “I suppose we should be a bit worried about him, but once we get into town he’ll probably change his mind and work with the town ponies.” I said with a slight chuckle. “Sounds like ya’ll are bitching about a free ticket to Equestria and want to go back to Earth so badly.” He said as he stroked the unicorn’s mane. “Who’s bitching, I definitely am not bitching.” I stated, waving his suggestion off. “Sorry I just wanna preserve my free will, you know... That thing you just handed Trixie on a gold, fucking platter.” Tyler said furrowing his brow. “She just said she’s not mind controlling us! I’m really not seeing a problem here!” Tim threw back. Tyler just shook his head, “Mind control isn’t the only form of manipulation. Come on, let’s get this shit over with. I have ponies to meet and places to go.” “Well I’m bringing her with us just in case.” Tim said as he put her on his back, wrapping her hooves around his neck as he stood up and walked towards us. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will not be treated as a common sack of potatoes!” Trixie exclaimed. “Actually, that’s a common way to show affection where we’re from, he might get insulted if you don’t let him... Maybe enough to ruin your plans even...” Tyler said with a devilish smirk. “Oh, now we wouldn’t want that to happen would we?” I said smirking along with my friend. She managed to clam up a bit and had the decency to even blush a little, “Right, human social rules.” She muttered Tim had even wider smile on than he had previously and gave us both a wink. “Which direction, madam?” Trixie let out a pretty adorable chuckle as she pointed in a direction, Tim nodded and began to lead on. Tyler sighed, “Well if we’re going to be together for a while might as well introduce ourselves, name’s Tyler, though personally I prefer Kronos.” “My name’s Sean but a few people call me Dex, it doesn’t matter which you call me by.” I stated removing my headphones for a brief second. ‘Kronos’ smiled a bit, “But he’ll always be our little Bozarth.” “And your chariot, milady, is named Tim. Or Satin, all’s good.” Tim said with ever-present smile. Trixie let out a scoff, “Those are by far the most absurd names the Great and Powerful Trixie has ever heard!” “Well, at least we don’t talk in the third person.” I stated bluntly. Trixie just let out a huff, “Well let’s all just agree that you’re wrong.” She muttered succinctly. Tim let out a laugh, “Seconded!” Tyler deadpanned, “Satin, you’re going to agree to everything she says, thus your opinion is invalid.” “You’re you, Tyler. Therefore, everything you say is invalid.” Tim shot back. “We’re in Equestria everything any of us three say is invalid.” I put out there “...and there’s the voice of reason, well whatever. Where we going to first O’ Great and Powerful Trixie?” Tim said as he rolled his eyes. I could see Trixie’s devilish smile appear on her lips, “Well first, we must show up a certain town of the most willful foals I have ever seen!” Tyler just put his head in his hand, likely already preparing for the shitstorm that was sure to come. “Sounds like some fun shenanigans to me!” Tim put in his ever-so-useful two cents. “Hopefully this doesn’t ruin our first impressions with the mane six.” I stated under my breath.