I blinked my eyes repeatedly, trying to restore some focus and get rid of the dancing lights. If I didn’t know better, I would say that I had hit my head harder than I thought. My head didn’t actually hurt though. That was not the result I expected from accidentally bashing it against the concrete floor of the basketball court. Come to think of it, I didn’t expect the unicorns either.
There were four of them standing expectantly around the room. Three of the creatures held expressions of ether shock, awe or confusion and appeared to be wrapped in what I almost mistook for labcoats. The fourth stood wore a golden crown and expressed a look of mild annoyance, as if a waiter was late with an order. The room itself was fairly large and built from stone bricks that were as white as bone. Surrounding the observers was a great assortment of scientific equipment; panels, monitors, stacks of books and paper, and the like. Nobody moved and the tension in the air became palpable as the unicorn’s bright eyes drilled holes into me. The awkwardness of the situation resembled the time I had came in casual clothes to a school prize giving – everyone was looking at me and I was not enjoying it.
Eventually, the crowned unicorn spoke up. Yes, he opened his mouth and words came out. A set of particularly disgruntled words too: “Now, for 10 points and the off chance that I will let anypony else in this room survive the night, give me a good explanation as to why Mirage is still here.”
The other three unicorns stared nervously at each-other, consulted their notes, shuffled nervously around and then decided to shove the unluckiest of their number forward. I briefly considered responding myself but the prospect of humiliation followed shortly by death was not one that appealed to me. Not even for the enticing offer of 10 points.
The unlucky unicorn; it had a golden-blonde coat and a mousy brown mane; mumbled some incomprehensible excuse before trying to return to their group. Either that or sink into the floor.
The crowned unicorn responded, “Come again, Electrum? Perhaps you should speak up a bit while you still have a tongue.”
The unicorn, presumably Electrum, decided to do the sensible thing and repeat her explanation, albeit in a more audible tone, “Our sincerest apologies, Prince Imaginos. We had apparently miscalculated the angle of the teleport. I think it failed to correctly identify a destination and this resulted in a buildup of charge. As such, the battery was overloaded and it’s, well, broken. It could take years to repair.”
“So what you are telling me is that our progress has been set back years all because one of you could not be bothered to proof-read your work.” Prince Imaginos huffed after stamping on the tiles, “Very well. You have three months; repair this and successfully send a pony to Horsica alive or I will have you reassigned to Asklepian’s department. As a test subject.”
This threat was enough to send Electrum to tears. She trotted of back to her colleagues One actually dabbed at her face with the corner of her labcoat. Suprisingly, they managed to do this with their hooves; I didn’t think that a horse's hooves were that dexterous. Before I could continue down that path, the Prince called my name.
“Well, hurry up, Mirage. I cannot allow my favorite apprentice to waste his time staring at the incompetent. Some of their work ethic or lack thereof might infect you.”
It was at that point that I decided that I was dreaming. I missed that layup, hit my head and this is just some bizarre dream I’m having while unconscious. That’s it. That explains the talking unicorns, how I got here and how they all know my name. Still, I might as well humor my subconscious. I took a step forward and my hoof clopped against the cold, dark metal of the platform I stood upon. Wait. I don’t have hooves. I look down at my legs and find out that they have doubled in number. They are also a pale gold in color. That and a bit hairier than usual.
“Stop admiring yourself and come along now, Mirage. We have important work to do. Work that certainly does not involve standing on extremely expensive machinery that just so happens to be broken thanks to somepony who cannot add.” Insisted the Prince, all the while glaring at the trio of what I assumed were scientists.
“What am I?” I finally managed to ask. On the off chance that I’m not asleep, I’d prefer to get my bearings sooner rather than later. Not to mention the fact that I’m not sure of exactly I am supposed to walk.
The Prince sighed and his horn began to glow a deep cyan as his eyes narrowed in concentration. Suddenly, pairs of hands that shimmered the same color as Imaginos’ horn grasped each of my legs and thrust me into the air. I struggled briefly but the hands were manacles of ethereal fingers. They dragged me along behind the Prince, who began to walk out of the room.
“It seems that the teleporter’s malfunction was worse than I thought. And to answer your question, you are Nocturne Mirage, apprentice to Crowned Prince Imaginos of Chevallia.”
This was rapidly becoming the weirdest dream I ever had. After noticing that the hands had spared me mouth, I rephrased my question, “Alright. Am I a unicorn too then?”
“Mirage, you have been a unicorn your entire life. You woke up as one and you will go to sleep as one. You were born a unicorn and, at this rate anyway, you will die as one. Do you have any other foolish questions for me? I would ask them now, before your excursion next week.”
“So I’m a unicorn. And your apprentice. And everyone else is also a unicorn. What is happening?” I asked again. I was began to fear that dream was going to become a nightmare.
Prince Imaginos stopped walking. His horn stopped glowing and the hands stopped existing. I stopped floating in the air and crashed into the floor for the second time in as many hours. Pain shot through my jaw and my sight blurred briefly.
Suddenly, a thought exploded into my brain. People cannot feel pain in dreams. That fact that my face hurts like it was dropped from a six-foot height – which it was – should be impossible right now. Yet am I hurt. This is bad. Really, really bad. I do not think that I am dreaming after all. I am really, literally a unicorn stuck in another world.