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// Daring Do Is in Your Bed 
// Story: Daring Do's Adventures in Whackademia 
// by Posh 
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Rainbow Dash was sweaty.

It was the pleasant kind of sweaty, though – that lather that builds up after a heavy workout, the kind that signifies a job well done. She'd just come off of a long day of work and practice, and looked forward to a hot shower, and a good, eight to twelve hour catnap.

Her plans changed when she saw her front door. It was open – just a hair, just a crack – and that was disconcerting. She was pretty sure she'd remembered to shut it that morning, and she hadn't forgotten to close it behind herself since that first week she had Tank.

There was no denying the evidence, though. Her mind rifled through the possibilities – someone could have broken in any time after she left home that morning, robbed her blind, and left. Or they could still be in her house – for all she knew, she might be about to interrupt a crime in progress. What to do?

"Hmm." Rainbow Dash hovered, hind legs dangling, front legs folded. "A responsible mare would fly down to Ponyville, and file a report at town hall."

Then she snickered and slapped her knee.

"Yeah, as if."

Silent as a panther – a winged panther, at that – Rainbow Dash crept along the edges of the house. She decided to operate on the assumption that whoever had opened the door was still in the house, and glanced through every window, intent on ambushing the intruder on sight. The bottom floor was clear, and nothing looked out of place or missing, from her admittedly limited vantage. The second was the same. That left the third floor – ostensibly an attic, but in truth, her bedroom.

And if anypony was up there, then they'd be cornered, with nowhere to run.

Rainbow swept to the top floor, to her bedroom window, hooked her hooves onto the sill, and lifted her head to take a stealthy peek.

Indeed, there was an intruder. The sight of her delighted Rainbow Dash.

Daring Do reclined on the bed, her pith hat hung on the bedside table lamp. One hoof held a novel – Daring Do and the Infernal Machine –  while the other lazily stroked Tank's shell. The tortoise was curled up beside the mare, wrapped in the feathery embrace of her wing.

"Huh," Daring Do muttered, angling the book down toward Tank. "Check it out, tortoise. There's a typo on this page – bottom of fifty-eight."

Tank lifted his head to the book, bit the page in half, and slowly chewed the paper.

Daring Do snorted. "You wanna be my new editor? Pay sucks, but you'll never go hungry."

"Daring Do is in my house?" Rainbow Dash whispered, quivering. "Daring Do is on my bed? Daring Do is feeding books to my tortoise on my bed?!"

Daring Do's ear piqued, and she turned to look at the window. "Oh, hi Dash. Y'know, you should really start locking your door when you leave the house. Anypony can just walk right in and—"

Rainbow Dash shrieked. She leaped into her bedroom, dancing excitedly, while Daring Do flattened her ears against her head.

"Daring Do broke into my house to lie down on my bed!"

Daring Do dug in one of her with the tip of her hoof. "Here I was hoping our friendship had advanced beyond the fangirl-squealing phase..."

Abashed, Rainbow slowed her dance. "Sorry. It's just... you're Daring Do!"

"As some are wont to call me."

"And you're in my room! On my bed!" Rainbow darted to her bedside, grinning. "Do you have any idea how many times I've fantasized about this? Exactly this?"

"You and about half my readership, I'm sure."

"And you're throwin' out awesome Daring Do one-liners – in my house, on my bed, while cuddling my tortoise, and I just— omigawsh!" Rainbow Dash made a giddy, high-pitched squeal in the back of her throat and pushed off the floor. "I can't believe you'd come to visit me! Here! At home! How did you know where I lived? When I'd get back from practice? I just – this is too – can I get you anything? Some juice? Or, ooh, what about a protein shake? I got like eight tons of whey in my kitchen that's about to expire—"

"Do yourself a favor and simmer down, Dash, before you sprain something." Daring Do shut the book and placed it on the bedside table, gave Tank a quick pat on the head, and slid off the bed to her hooves. "Finding your house wasn't hard; the rainbow fountains kinda gave it away. I didn't know when you'd be home. And I'll pass on the refreshments for now. Already drank all your OJ, anyway."

A blank look swept over Rainbow's face.

Daring Do's wings shuffled. "I got thirsty."

"Daring Do drank my orange juice," Rainbow whispered.

"Ugh, this is the Baltimare book signing all over again," Daring Do muttered, shaking her head. "Not that I mind being fawned over – occasionally – but I didn't just break into your house for shits and giggles. I mean, I giggled once or twice, and I did use your bathroom—"

"Daring Do sat on my toilet!"

"—but I'm really here because I need a favor. And it's..." A serious look swept over Daring Do's countenance. "It's not something I ask lightly."

"You mean it? Well, I'm your mare – what's the order of the day?" Immediately, Rainbow dropped to her hooves and saluted. "Adventure? Excitement? Artifact hunting? Saving the world?"

"No, nothing like that. It's more, uh... personal than anything else." Daring Do ran a hoof through her mane. "I... need a date."

Rainbow's ears, and wings, perked. "A date?"

"Yeah. To, um... to a reception." Daring Do coughed and glanced away. "An academic reception, to be exact. Hosted by the School of Archaeology, at the University of Fillydelphia."

Rainbow's ears, and wings, drooped. "Oh."

"Sorry if you were expecting something else," said Daring Do, eying Rainbow from hoof to head. "I know I'm coming out of nowhere with this – it took me by surprise, too, if we're being honest. I haven't been to one of these in years, and I wasn't really planning to attend one ever again. But I had lunch with my publisher the other day, and she said there was an invitation to this thing in my P.O. box – I keep one in Canterlot for official business. And I figured, why not?"

"So it's, what... some kind of egghead gala?" Rainbow Dash said. "Why're you asking me? This might shock you, but anything with 'university' in the title puts me to sleep. Literally. Ask Twilight; she'll tell you."

"I didn't think it'd be your bag. But, uh... the invite says I get to bring a guest, which means I'm expected to bring a guest. I was gonna ask my publisher, but she went into labor during lunch. Apparently, she's having twins." Daring Do shuddered. "Princess Twilight – funny you should mention it – was actually my second pick, but her girlfriend says she's been out of town all week, and she's not sure when she's coming back."

Now that she mentioned it, Rainbow Dash recalled Spike saying something similar – that Twilight got a message from Sunset Shimmer, and ran through the mirror to deal with it, without giving an explanation. Weird that she hadn't come back yet.

Then she frowned. "Twilight has a girlfriend?"

"Uh, yeah – that purpley unicorn in the castle? The one with the sparkly cutie mark, and the boingy mane?" Daring Do wound her bangs around her hoof and tugged on them to demonstrate.

"You mean Starlight?" Rainbow snickered. "She's Twilight's student. Not her girlfriend."

"It's cute how you think those are mutually exclusive options," said Daring Do, with a showy eyeroll. "I know it's not your regular thing, Dash, but you'd be doing me a huge favor. And it'd mean a lot to me, besides. So... you in?"

Rainbow cracked a grin. "Y'know what – why not? I've been hoping we could just hang out together, one of these days, without worrying about monsters or artifacts or whatever. Not that that stuff isn't fun – it'd just be nice to do something regular, for a change."

"I can't guarantee that this'll be 'regular,' exactly. But it's at least a change of pace from staving off the end of the world." A relieved smile spread across Daring Do's face. "The reception's tomorrow night; there's an evening express to Fillydelphia that should get us there in time. I, er, already bought you a ticket. Assumed you'd be coming along."

"You guessed right," said Rainbow. "What do we do 'til then? You got a place to stay?"

"Ah... no. But it shouldn't be too hard finding a place in town." Daring Do glanced at the bed. "'Course, if you don't mind—"

"Omigawsh, yes, you can stay here. Take the bed. Take the whole bed! You need more pillows? Blankets? Soothing ocean sounds to help you sleep?!"

"Some OJ'd be nice. For tomorrow morning." Daring Do smirked. "You're all out, y'know."