Twilight's eyes couldn't get any wider. In all her years as a princess, she had never before seen anything like this. She stood in the library of her castle, like she did most evenings. Only, this time she wasn't alone. Two ponies stood with her.
“How did you two get in here,” Twilight asked of her guests.
“Charmer,” One of them said. “Drop the illusion.”
Twilight's watched as a veil of light fell from the two ponies. One of them was a complete stranger, but the other was the opposite. She hadn't seen her in such a long time, but she couldn't forget her.
“Now it makes sense,” Twilight breathed. “Star Shadow, and her best friend Starlight Charmer.”
“You know my name,” Charmer faked a bashful smile, “How sweet. I'm gonna blush.”
“Twilight,” Star struggled to say. “I. . . need to. . . talk to you.”
“Celestia doesn't know you're here, does she,” Twilight asked.
“You really think we would have the disguises and fake our way in if this was an official visit,” Charmer sarcastically stated.
“Starlight,” Star hissed, “Don't make this harder than it needs to be.”
Charmer rolled her eyes and turned down one the nearby aisles of the library. Both Star and Twilight waited until they could hear her looking through some of the books. Twilight took her down to further into the library, away from where Charmer was. They sat down in a table by a window overlooking Ponyville.
“I think I know why you're here, Star,” Twilight told her. “I got a letter from Celestia today. You've been having dreams, right?”
“Not dreams,” Star corrected. “I can't get that night out of my head. I've been seeing it almost every night for years. I just want it to stop.”
“I can't imagine what that must be like,” Twilight said compassionately. “I know Celestia tried her best to help you.”
“Yeah,” Star muttered. “Lotta good that did. So much help.”
“Star Shadow,” Twilight barked. “She did the best she could these past years. You lost your parents that night, but she lost her sister. For the second time, Luna was gone. For someone who's been around as long as she has, the time she did have with her seems like barely a few moments.”
“At least she has memories of her,” Star shouted back. “I mean, clear pristine memories. All I have are hazy, cloudy images. Shapes and shadows in the dark that don't mean anything to me.”
“And why is that Star,” Twilight asked. “Why do they mean nothing? Have you done anything to make them mean something? Or have you been whining and running away for the past five years?”
“Screw you, Twilight!”
Star yelled, angrier than had been in a long time. She pushed herself away from the table before storming off towards the door. Her chest almost hurt her heart was beating so fast. She didn't want to stop moving. She knew if she did Twilight would so how much she was shaking. She just wanted to be gone, away from here. She was so angry she felt like she could run back to Canterlot.
“Star Shadow.”
She heard Twilight call her name behind her, but she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to listen to her.
“Star Shadow, stop running from me.”
Star stopped and whipped her head back before she could stop herself. “I'm not running! I came here for help. I wanted your help, to end my suffering. And all you do is the same crap that Celestia does. You pity me and lecture me. I'm tired of it! Just go back to how it was before I showed up. Pretend I don't exist”
“Star, I've been a part of your life a longer than you realize,” Twilight told her. “Celestia had never raised a child before. Neither have I, but I had Spike from when he was just an egg. My friends have younger siblings. I could hardly believe how many times she asked me for advice.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you really think Celestia came up with every single one of the things she told you, Star,” Twilight asked. “Those dreams you have, I already helped with them. I have been for years. A lot of the things she tried I suggested.”
“Shut up!”
Star hated this feeling. It was welling up from deep within her. She was angry, and sad, and she could feel tears coming on. What was this feeling? She stared at Twilight, and she stared back. Star felt like such a mess was rolling around inside of her. Meanwhile, Twilight looked just as regal and intense as every. She hated it.
“Come now, Star. You're a smart pony. This had to cross your mind at some point.”
Star threw her head down. She didn't want Twilight to see her eyes, welling up with tears. She hated herself right now. Not because she crying. Not because she tormented by nightmares. It was because she felt weak. No, she was weak. Twilight was right. For years now, she had been whining and complaining. For years she had just run away to her tower to try and avoid the rest of the world. For years now, she had been simply too afraid to anything. And she fell into a slump on the floor of Twilight's library, a crying emotional wreck of a pony.
“Tell me, Star,” Twilight said as she came and put a wing around her. “Why are you really here?”
“Charmer said I should come and talk to you,” Star said in between sobs. “She said I might find some closure here.”
“She's not wrong,” Twilight consoled her. “But that can wait til tomorrow. It's late, and you need some rest.”
As much as she wanted to, Star couldn't fight anymore. For the first time in a long time, she felt tired. Well and truly tired, exhausted from all the things she had never said before then. All the anger and energy she had mere moments ago had gone out of her with her tears. She let Twilight lead her out of the library and to a room down the hall. She fell asleep quickly, and she slept peacefully.
Twilight waited a moment for Star to fall asleep. As soon as she was sure was asleep, she stepped out of her room. She took a breath, and stood in her library again. She didn't forget about Charmer. She made sure to appear a few rows behind where the Unicorn should be. She could hear her, moving books on the shelves and mumbling to herself.
“You know, you really should check your books more.”
Twilight spun around quickly. Sitting on the floor two aisle away was a pony. Twilight straightened up a bit before walking over to her.
“I check all my books,” Twilight told her as she approached.
“Well, not good enough then,” Charmer said as she tapped a hoof lightly against the cover of a book on the floor next to her. “Because this one's enchanted. Don't know what it is, or what it does, but its pretty powerful stuff.”
“I know,” Twilight said. “It's a harmless enchantment that catalogs and sorts all my books. Helps me find anything I need quickly. Even if the book isn't in the library, it still finds it. One book to find them all.”
“If it's such a simple enchantment, then why is it so powerful?”
“I have a lot of books,” Twilight explained. “And many of those books are books that I don't want any random pony waltzing in and looking at.”
Charmer got the point. Twilight was being a little less than subtle with her hint. She stood up and stretched her legs. She put her books back on their shelves before leaving the library. Twilight did the fastest check of her life to see if the books were put back correctly. She was surprised, pleased but surprised, to find each of them in the same spot she had put them in originally. She breathed a sigh of relief before teleporting to the hallway outside.
“Wow, that was close.”
Twilight turned around to see Charmer standing there again. Twilight had to try and hide her look of annoyance.
“Seriously, I thought it would take you at least five seconds less than what it did,” Charmer said. “Even with a teleport, still took you that long. I guess with nopony to mess with your books you've gotten a bit rusty.”
“Quiet,” Twilight snapped back defensively, “And get out of here. Go to bed like Star. There's a room at the end of the hall. It's right next to where I put Star.”
“I know. I'm already gone,” Charmer deviously grinned as her illusion faded. Twilight couldn't hide the look on her face. She groaned through a frown as she made her way up to her own room. She wasn't one to judge quickly, but she was already getting the feeling that she wasn't going to like that pony.
The morning came slowly. Star's eyes lazily drifted open. She sat up as the early morning sun shone in through the window. A yawn escaped before she suddenly stopped. For a moment she just sat there, in a stunned silence. She woke up, from a deep sleep.
“I didn't dream,” She whispered to herself.
She could almost leap for joy. She shot out of bed and into the hallway, stopping short of a rather large stallion standing in her path. Memories of the previous night ran through her head like in an instant. She wasn't at home. This wasn't Canterlot. And the stallion in front of her was most likely one of Twilight's royal guards. But she knew how to handle this. She'd seen Celestia do this before many times. She stood straight and tall. She held her head high, but not too high. She cleared her throat to speak, but was cut off.
“Princess Twilight told me to fetch you and your friend for breakfast,” The guard stallion stated very formally. “Please, follow me.”
Star was silent. She wasn't really sure what to say to that. She just relaxed her body and followed behind him. She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw him glancing behind at her.
“He's cute, isn't he,” Charmer said, appearing from nowhere next to Star.
Star suppressed the small jump that was her natural response. Charmer had been doing that for years, she was used to it. Most of the time it didn't even phase her, but today her mind was clear. She felt good, really good. And now that she was here, there was no ignoring her friend.
“What were you saying,” Star asked.
“The guard. He's kinda cute,” Charmer nudged her friend a bit. “For a crystal pony, anyways.”
Star looked back at the stallion escorting them. She didn't see it before under all his armor, but Charmer was right. He was a crystal pony. She had only ever met a few before. Even after all this time, most of the crystal ponies stayed in the Crystal Empire. Many of them left to visit other parts of Equestria, but very few left permanently. As she looked she thought she saw him glancing back at her again.
“I think he likes you,” Charmer teased. “Say something to him. Or I could, if you want. I can do your whole 'angry with the world' act pretty well.”
“Don't you dare,” Star half jokingly threatened. “He keeps looking at me, but I don't think its for the same reason you think it is.”
“Really? I've never been wrong about this before,” Charmer replied.
“Maybe in Canterlot, but this is Ponyville,” Star whispered. “The ponies here are a little different.”
Charmer was about to respond when she saw the the stallion had stopped. He looked over his shoulder before opening a door to his right. He stepped in, holding the door open for the mares. The room was a lot smaller than they thought it was going to be. They were expecting a grand hall with a long table and whole lot of chairs with Twilight sitting at the end.
“Good Morning,” Twilight said from the seat of a small, family sized table. “Not what you were expecting, is it?”
“You could say that,” Star said as she and Charmer sat down at the table.
“Well, this is closer to my room and I like it better than the big room downstairs,” Twilight told them. “Would you like something to eat?”
Spread out on the table were an assortment of pancakes, waffles, sliced fruit and a few other delectable breakfast treats. Charmer wholeheartedly dove in, going straight for the pancakes and strawberry jam. Only Star knew this secret weakness of hers, strawberry jam. Star brushed her mane back behind her ear. She used this motion as an excuse to quickly glance behind her. The guard stallion was still there. He wasn't looking at her, but she could see that he seemed tense. Twilight must have seen something, too. She nodded at him and he left the room with a salute.
“I see you met my guard,” Twilight said with a sip of her orange juice.
“He didn't even give his name,” Star told Twilight. “Just said you told him to bring us here. He kept looking back at me. I got the feeling he wanted to ask me something.”
“I'm sure you notice already that he's a crystal pony,” Twilight said. “Are you curious as to why I have a crystal pony guard?”
“Yes, actually.”
“It's because of your father,” Twilight told her. “That stallion was in the stadium during the Equestria games when he was just a colt. He wasn't that far away when Spike saved a lot of ponies. He was inspired by Spike.”
“I still don't understand,” Star said.
“I'm not finished,” Twilight replied. “You see, that young colt wanted to grow up to be a hero like Spike. After Spike fought the Darkness, he never thought he would be able to be anything like that. Until he met Spike.”
“He met my father,” Star excitedly asked.
“Yes,” Twilight answered. “And Spike told him to grow up strong, and become a guard pony. Because protecting those that you care about is the most heroic thing you can do. Since the colt didn't have anypony to protect, Spike asked him to come here. I was still a new princess at the time and had next to no guards. He was the first official guard pony I actually had. And he's been here ever since.”
Star still didn't quite understand. She was really glad to hear about her father. She barely even thought about him anymore. With her dreams, it was bad enough to remember him. But now, she was actually excited to hear about him, to listen to what he did for this pony.
“Star,” Twilight said. “You have your father's eyes. He sees Spike in you, just like I do.”
“I used to think these eyes were a curse,” Star told Twilight. “Everypony who looks at them sees him, and not me. Maybe I still kinda think that.”
“Well, maybe if you learn more about Spike you won't feel that way anymore,” Twilight said. “For now, just eat.”
In all the time that they had spent talking Star hadn't noticed Charmer next to her, stuffing her face. By the time the meal was done, Charmer had eaten three plates full of pancakes, and one full of waffles when there were no more pancakes. She groaned when Star rolled her out of the room. Twilight was taking them somewhere else. She wouldn't tell them exactly where, just that it had something to do with Spike.
“Why didn't you stop me, Star,” Charmer groaned. She ate too much.
“It's not my job to watch you,” Star replied. “Besides, Twilight was talking to me. I was listening to her.”
“Why am I even here,” Charmer asked. “Couldn't Twilight just have taken you wherever we're going by yourself?”
“Hey, you wanted to come with me,” Star reminded her. “And I don't think Twilight wants to leave you alone in her castle.”
“With all the guards she has around today, I would hardly have been alone,” Charmer muttered under her breath.
They both walked in silence after that. Star's mind was filling with different possibilities as to where they were going and what she was going to see. She imagined one thing after another, wondering which possibility was worse than the others, and which was best. Charmer was simply regretting her breakfast decisions. They walked on for another few minutes before Twilight finally stopped. She took a deep breath before continuing.
The castle changed as they moved farther down the corridor. The rest of the castle she had seen was bright, polished crystal. It sparkled and shone in the morning light. Even at night the colors came through vibrantly. But now, it was all changing. No more color, no more light. All the colors seemed drained from the walls and the floors. Dust and webs seemed to fill the hall more than air. The only light was coming from Twilight's horn as she walked. Finally she stopped and turned her head. There was a door. Star noticed the resemblance between the mark on the door and Twilight flank.
“I moved my room after it happened,” Twilight explained when she saw Star looking at her flank. I couldn't stay so close anymore.”
Star didn't question it. She just followed Twilight as she kept walking. It wasn't very far at all until she stopped again. This door didn't have any markings on it, but Twilight looked at it like it was the most important door in the world. She breathe in deeply again, before reaching out and opening the door.
“This was Spike's room,” Twilight told her. “A very long time ago, before he even became a hero of Equestria. Back when he was just my hero.”
Star looked around the room. It was smaller than most any other room she'd been in. She had seen pictures of Spike before his hero days. He was quite a bit smaller back then. This small room was all he needed. The bed was just big enough for him to rest his head. He head shelves for his books, comics mostly. There was a chest on the other side of the room. It was still open a bit, and Star could see a few parts of toys still dangling out. A layer of dust covered everything in the room. Star was worried if she moved too fast she too would get covered in dust. Not the she minded moving slowly through the room. It gave her time to look at everything her father had. Her eyes fell upon a few pictures in frames on a dresser.
“Oh, those,” Twilight perked up when Star stepped up to them. “I haven't seen those in so long.”
Star didn't say anything back. She picked up a frame with her magic and blew some of the dust off it. It was Spike. He looked so happy. He was standing still, but she could tell he was just bursting with joy. His smile was so big. He was standing in the Crystal Empire, with a few crystal ponies. Behind them all was a large crystal statue.
“I'd heard that there was a statue built for him,” Star said, “But I've never seen it.”
“You've never been to the Crystal Empire?” Twilight sounded more shocked and surprised than anything. “Really?”
“Of course I have,” Star replied quickly. “The last time I went was a few months before my tenth birthday. But I just stayed in the Crystal Palace most of the time. He took me down to some of the rooms he trained in. That was the first time I'd seen it. I haven't been back to Empire since then.”
“Yeah, I know that much,” Twilight told her. “Celestia told me of all the times she tried to get you to go. Business trips, family meetings. You know, my brother and Cadance just had a baby a few years ago. Her names is Flurry Heart.”
“I know,” Star said distracted. Her eyes moved over more of the photos. One was of Spike and six mares. Twilight was just over his shoulder. The other five seemed so familiar, but she could place a name to them. “This is you. Who are the other five?”
“You probably don't remember them. It's been a long time since you met them, or even heard their names,” Twilight answered. “That's Applejack there on the left. Then Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. I'm next to Spike, as you said. Then Pinkie Pie and Rarity are on the right.”
“I remember them now,” Star realized. “Well, I remember hearing their names. Did you know Spike was planning on coming back to visit after my birthday?”
“He was?” Twilight's mind immediately filled with all the lost possibilities. Everything she and Spike could have done. All the catching up, the reading, the magic talk. “That would've been fun. The girls would've loved to see him again.”
“Yeah,” Star said as she turned around to face Twilight. “But he never made it. Thank you, Twilight, but I think I've seen enough for right now.”
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Twilight showed them some more of her castle. Charmer spent most of her day in Twilight's library. Star herself mostly slept. She felt like she had been awake for so very long, and now she was catching up on all the rest she never got before. When she wasn't sleeping, she mostly stared out the window. She could see all the ponies down below. They all moved about, working or playing. They seemed happy. For the most part, so did Star. Until a nightmare shook up this seemingly perfectly normal day.
=====
It was late into the evening when Charmer rushed into the room. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she saw Star Shadow sitting up in bed. She closed the door behind her and stepped up to the bed. Star didn't look so good. She was breathing heavy herself. She was covered with sweat and her mane was a mess. But that wasn't nearly as important as her eyes, and what she saw in them.
“Star,” Charmer tested, “Are you alright?”
Star didn't respond. She didn't do anything. There was no discernible reaction of any kind. Ther was just that look in her eyes. They were wide open, as if she was afraid, but she had seen Star wake up afraid before. This was different. Her eyes, the look in them, it was more wild than afraid.
“Star,” She tried once again, moving closer to the side of the bed. “I heard you scream from my room. Is everything alright?”
Star kept up her wild, unfocused gaze. She just stared out into nothingness. Charmer sighed a little sigh. She quietly turned and headed back for the door. She almost made it.
“Starlight.”
If there was ever a sound that could make a pony freeze in their tracks, it had to be the sound of a name they never used. At least, that's how it was for her. Star was the only pony in all of Equestria who ever used her first name. She might have been the only pony who even knew it anymore. Charmer always knew it was serious when this name came up, but this was the first time her own name sent a chill up her coat. She looked back at the bed. Star was staring straight at her. She seemed to have returned a state more resembling her normal one. That being the angry mare from Canterlot. Not the nice, calm one she had been portraying in Twilight's castle.
“I see you're back to your normal, angry self,” Charmer joked, but returned a serious question. “Was it another nightmare? This one must have been bad. It sounded pretty bad.”
“Starlight,” She said again. “I've never told you what happened to my parents. What I saw that night.”
“I know, Star, I know,” Charmer said. “It's okay.”
“I want to tell you now,” Star stated, “Would you please listen?”
Charmer was more than a little stunned. In all of the years that she had been friends with Star, she never had been told about this. She knew it was a sensitive topic, to say the least. She never pressed the issue. She never asked about it. She never expected any answers. And now Star was just going to tell her.
“Of course,” Was all she could say. She climbed up on the end of the bed and sat with her friend.
“It all started at my birthday party. You remember when I got to my last present. I got this. . . this feeling. This shiver that ran through me. I couldn't understand it at the time. Still not sure if I could now. I don't know what it was, but I could just tell that something was wrong. And I had to go find them.”
“I remember,” Charmer whispered. “I tried to follow you, but Celestia stopped me.”
“Be glad that she did,” Star told her friend with a serious tone to her voice.
Star Shadow, ten years old. She ran up the stairs, moving as fast as her little legs could carry her. Each step, each breath, seemed to last more and more time. She could feel it, she knew it. Something was not right. Even though she didn't know why, she started to cry. Small tears started to form on her cheeks as she came up to the doors. Her parents room was on the other side. She knew it. She knew what was there. It was almost as familiar to her as her own room. So why was she so scared?
There was something different about these doors. Beyond those doors, she could expect the warmth of her mother's hugs. She could feel the smooth scales of her father. She could always expect a smile from them, unless she was in trouble. Then it was lecture, and then a smile. Beyond those doors was happiness. But not that night. That night all she felt when she came up to those doors was cold night full of dread.
She pushed the door open with all her might. It was almost too much for her little body. When she stepped inside she found out why. The whole room was a mess. It was like every little thing that they owned had been thrown around the room. Spike's books were strewn all across the floor, with pages ripped out and still rustling with the breeze coming in through the open balcony doors. Shards of broken glass from Luna's mirror littered the area. Star actually cut her hoof on a piece sticking out of the floor. She barely even registered the pain as she moved further into the room. Brushes, quills, pages, bottles, candles. It was everywhere. Star could see it all, even though the room was darker than it should have been. She was near the bed when she noticed one other thing. This was not something that was there before. It started when she stepped in it.
She heard it before she felt it. A small sound, like that of stepping onto the dry floors after playing in the puddles after it rains. She could feel the wetness around her front hooves. She didn't want to look down. Everything in her told her not to look, but she did anyway. Red. All she was red. She gasped, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't even scream as she ran past the red. She saw more it on the walls, dark sprays covering the light of the room. And then she finally saw. She finally found them.
Spike was slumped down on the balcony. His back was pressed up against the railing. His hands fell loosely at his sides. His tail was curled beneath him and it didn't look like it was a comfortable position. His chin was resting on his chest. But all Star could see was the red. His normal clothing had been ripped away. Everything except his pants, and even those were torn and cut in many places. She could see fresh cuts and scrapes, all red. And in the center of his chest, just slightly below his chin was a crystal. Embedded in his scales was a small, black crystal. She almost didn't see it through her mother's mane.
Luna lay at Spike's side. Her head rest in his lap. She never wore the same amount of clothes as Spike did. This made easier to see the wounds on her own body. Cuts and scrapes, just like Spike, only worse. The color red darkened her coat. The regalia she wore, some of it was missing. Her royal headdress and one of her hoof pieces. One of her wings rested under her body, as if she had fallen on it. The other rest as normal at her side. Star saw that she too had a small, black crystal in her chest.
There was nothing young Star shadow could do but scream. A scream that pierce through all the noise of the castle. A scream so full of pain that the even the following silence felt unnatural. In the absence of anything else, the only thing that could be heard were the cries of a young filly, broken and afraid.
“The next thing I remember is Celestia holding me and taking me away,” Star said. “I remember my mane feeling wet. I thought it was just my tears, but I think it may have been Celestia's as well.”
“I don't know what to say,” Charmer said after a moment of silence. “Star, that's horrible. I see now why you have nightmares about that night.”
“But you're still wondering why I'm telling you this now, all of the sudden, right?”
“I wasn't going to bring it right away but since you did, yes. Yes, I am curious about that.”
“That has been my nightmare for years now,” Star growled with a growing anger in her eyes. A familiar sight to Charmer. “But this one was different. I saw something more.”
“Wait, why are you even having nightmares anymore,” Charmer asked. “I thought Twilight stopp-”
“DON'T SAY HER NAME!” Star all but roared at her friend. “She's responsible for all this!”
“What? Star, what are you talking about?”
“I saw it, Starlight,” She said. “I have relived that night a thousand times, and yet only tonight did I see it. There was something there that didn't belong. A book.”
“A book?” Charmer got off the bed and paced a few times. “Seriously, Star, a book?”
Star followed her off the bed. “I know how it sounds, but just listen to me. This is very specific book. I've seen it Celestia's personal library. She caught me trying to read it once and told me about it.”
“What kind of book is this?”
“A spellbook,” Star said. “Only two copies exist in all of Equestria. One of them is in Celestia's personal collection and she said that Twilight has the other one in her library.”
“And what makes you think that it was Twilight's book that was in your parents room,” Charmer asked. “Wouldn't it be more plausible that Spike or Luna simply borrowed Celestia's copy?”
“Details, Charmer, details,” Star yelled. “Normally, you'd be right. But there is a small difference between the book Celestia and Twilight have, even though it's the same book.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. You see, the books are ancient,” Star told her. “So over time they've gotten some wear and tear. Celestia's copy of the book has the lettering on the cover of the book outlined in gold and the spine is red. The book I saw in that room was red, only more faded and no gold around the letters.”
“And you got all of this from a dream?”
“You know I've always had really vivid dreams,” Star said. “Come on, you've got to believe me.”
“Oh, I believe you,” Charmer said. “I'm just not sure as what to do next.”
“That's easy,” Star said with an angry smile. “We run away.”