//------------------------------// // TF2 Analysis Anarchy replacement. Dragon #5, Ponies #228-236, and... a Frieza?. Teric Dragon, Mad Munchkin, Thespio, Eliyora, AnY, Lightning Bliss, Sweetie Bloom, Keyframe, Voice of Reason, Goldenfox, Mary Sue and... Sub-Zero. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// "What to do, what to do?" Dr. Wolf spoke to himself as he paced around his office in his engineer clothing. With the news of ToonKritic's illegal activity, and the blue soldier and red spy about to arrive, they needed a replacement for the blue pyro until they found someone that would work. Firebrand walked in with his Medic outfit. "Any luck, Doc?" He asked, sounding a bit concerned. "No, not yet. Seems nopony's available at the moment." "Yeah... never though ToonKritic would do that. It's a shame, really. I had a scene where-" "HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!" The voice of Deadpool hollared, right as he crashed through the wooden ceiling, leaving a hole and planks of wood around, some of which are sticking into his back. "AHH!!! SPLINTER!!!" He jumped, exposing his left hand's index finger with a single small splinter sticking out of it. "Oh great, him again." "Now, now," Dr.Wolf spoke in his calm demeanor "let's all calm down here. Fin, assistance, please?" A blue pony with an engineer's outfit came right in with a salute. "Right on it, Sir Mr. Dr. Wolf, sir!" The pony went to Deadpool and took the splinter out of his finger. "There we go! Need me to help get rid of those planks of wood sticking out of your back, Mr. Deadpool, sir?" "Eh, nah." Deadpool replied. "Next to the T-Rex, the dinosaurs feared the Stegosaurus." "Okie dokie, sir!" He ran as fast Pinkie and fixed the ceiling in only a few seconds. "All done! Now to make cookies for everypony!" "That will be fine, Fin." Dr. Wolf spoke right before Fin left. He turned back to Deadpool. "Now, what is it you're here for now? We don't have an appointment until much later." "I know, little pupper." Deadpool replied. "But since Season 8 isn't out until a while, and I didn't see any of the leaked episode like the c**t, MrAquino and other Bronies, I decide to be your replacement for ToonKritic as he does time for doing that f**ked up thing to that minor!" Dr. Wolf and Firebrand looked uncomfortable at the mention. "But relax, I'm not gonna hold on to that! My mini me's already doing something fun with him, something... poetic." "... Can I kill him?" Firebrand asked with annoyance in his tone. "Not now." Dr. Wolf answered. "We are short of one class for the meanwhile, and no one's available at the moment." "Yeah. And your brother, even as the Pyro, would be too OP for everyone to handle!" Deadpool added. "Seriously! That's one big Mutha F**ka! I swear, all these dragons want to eat me!" "And... why do you say that?" "Your brother looked at me like how I do with tacos." "... I will have a word with my brother about that." "Plus, who are you going to get? Sub-Zero!? That guy's TOO OP!!! He's a F**king Dragon Ball OC! That anime's all about overpowered characters beating the s**t out of each other! Only way to beat him is getting Super Man, but that already triggered a few fanboys reading this, or, by a slim chance, is actually a video right now with me being voiced by my loser writer himself." And awkward silence. "...And... how do we know that you can actually be a good pyro?" Firebrand asked. "Everyone practically knows that you're, as you put it, OP to be part of this training session." "Well, Mr. Grumpy Pants." Deadpool spoke, standing up and leaning to the flame haired unicorn. "If you need to know, just like in TF2, The pyro and I are both schizophrenic psychopaths that see and hear things with our overactive imagination, unable to decipher what is real and what is fantasy, wanting to spread our happy-go-lucky cheery nature, only to, in reality, burn and kill everyone we see." Firebrand and Deadpool had a stare off. "... Touche." "And, you need a red and black character that's not a complete edgelord. You've seen me. I am NO Edgelord. Cynical, yes, but I use it WAY better than the piece of s**t that will be Teen Titans Go To The Movies." "Yeah. I can see that. But what about your healing factor? And if you can wear blue?" "Oh, I got both of them ready. Excuse me." He jumped into the next room, making loud crashing noises, before coming out wearing a blue costume of his own costume. "Ta-Da! I'm like Eiffel 65 because I'm Blue (Da Ba Dee Da Be Die)" "Ugh! Don't you dare sing!" "Alright, chill, I just wanted to make that joke." "Yeah, and how do we kill you?" "... I think your Scottish gal can do that. Especially if someone were to... touch her hat." The door was busted in as Mad Munchkin, the Scottish pony in a soldier outfit. "Don't you dare touch the hat!!!" She growled, holding up her rocket launcher. "Or else it's lights out for ye!" "A Scotsman threatening a Canadian!? I wonder if I saw this before." "Ahem!" Firebrand spoke, getting their attention back. "As I was saying, if you feel that way, then feel free to join, but know that this is only temporary, and you're not getting paid for this." "The only payment is blood and the tears from my enemies." Deadpool spoke in his best Shadow the Hedgehog voice before disappearing. "... Can we have everyone blow him up now?" "Later," Dr. Wolf replied. "For now, we should let him do what needs to be done. Besides, it's rather fun to have someone else join us." "Don't make me regret this." Deadpool landed right in the middle where all the Blu team members were at, making them all jump. "Howdy!" Deadpool spoke, wearing a cowboy hat before putting it on Golden Fox's head. "The name's Deadpool, and I'm here as your temporary pyro until a new one is found to replace the Touching critic." REALLY!?!?!? What? You don't like touchy subjects? "Uh... yeah... thanks..." Keyframe said uncomfortably. "Can we uh... not talk about him?" "Ditto!" Lightning Bliss added. "I just want to have fun!" "That, I can, ma'am!" Deadpool spoke, picking up and giving Kim a noogie. "Been a long time since we've met, Kimmy!" "And I thought I was out of your grasp." She groaned. "Uh, Hello? Is this thing on?" The voice of Mary Sue spoke. "Uh, yeah, like, the round will begin in like, 10 seconds, so get your butts ready!" "Alas, blood will spill on ze land!" Thespio spoke in his best french accent. "Let us move and-" A familiar tune was heard. "Who posted this song in the wrong map!?" Sweetie Bloom asked. Their answer came as they saw Deadpool dancing to it. ♬Two to the one from the one to the three time for the killing... who's with me?♬ He teleported away, appearing next to Ink Rose, lighting her on fire with a flamethrower. ♬Your skill is jogging? Mine is burning! Well? Off to your dead shipping!♬ He held up a picture of her and Firebrand's ship pic befroe burning it away. ♬Three to the one from the one to the three no coffin can contain me.♬ He appeared right before AnY, lighting a fuse and exploding the stallion. ♬Merely finished what your liver started. The black German cyclops. Dominated!♬ He telported onto DrWolf's head with as he looked over the battlefield, making the wolf fall off the roof. ♬Giddy up now!... to hell. I murdered your toys as well.♬ Dr. Wolf's sentries blew up, with Deadpool landing next to Silverquill. ♬So many burns, so little time.♬ "Deadpool!?" Silverquill screamed. "Peekaboo! Now die!" He blasted fire at the hippogriff, making him run around, screaming his rooster noises. ♬Your precious devils won't save you now. Who will replace you? Anyone!♬ He popped right behind Voice of Reason in his Deadshot outfit, pushing the pony off. ♬You disgust me, Suicide squad man! Perhaps Rotten Tomatoes will help you kick the can!♬ Deadpool landed in the middle and danced with his team. ♬My mind is sharp My flames aren't bound My suit is fully retardant And I still look magnificent♬ ♬Two to the one from the snort to the FIRE! You handsome devil... Is everyone your desire?♬ ♬You know... hiding won't save you! I'm coming for you!♬ ♬Pyro to the point, and abracadabra! I will claim this point for Canada!♬ ♬Gentlemen, I make it look easy! Gentlemen, you forget about me?♬ He appeared right in front of Firebrand, showing a G3 version of the medic, causing the pony's eyes to burn and run in pain. ♬Does it hurt when I show some G3? Ahaha... go buy some bleach.♬ He threw an axe right at Eliyora's head, where she fell, and Deadpool leaned to her corpse ♬You are an embarrasment to Pyros everywhere! Just lay your weapons down and walk away.♬ Deadpool threw some haggis at Mad Munchkin, which released a foul gas, and exploded. ♬Oh, Munchkin, you die for honor! I'm going to puncture you like an old tire.♬ And when the Deadpool saw the breath of his achievement... he wept. For there were no more things to burn. All of the red team bursted in to Doctor Wolf's office. "Get rid of him!" Eliyora roared. "He's a nuisance!" "He brought up Firebrand and Our ship!" Ink Rose spoke. "He called me a German Cyclops!" AnY added. "He just HAD to bring up Suicide Squad." Voice added, throwing a DVD copy away. "Somehow, he mad Haggis a grenade." Munchkin groaned. "He burned me alive!" Silverquill added. Everyone gave him a deadpan look. "What? It hurts!" "Oh, we agree." Firebrand spoke, some rage building in his voice. "We very much agree." Dr. Wolf added in his serious voice. "We decided to call in the BIG guns for this." "Wait... you don't mean-!" Voice spoke with a stutter. "Indeed." Dr. Wolf pulled a cellphone out. "Hello... yes, it's an emergency..." The whole place was burning, with Deadpool in the middle, doing the Bruce Wayne Dance. Do we also have the song "Take on me"? by a-ha. Since we're doing the dance, why not? The floor shook, and, emerging through the flames, letting out a Godzilla roar, was Dr. Wolf's Brother, Teric Dragon. While he wasn't as big as Torch, he was still huge, easily about twice the size of Deadpool's height. "... Well, someone's overcompensating for something." Deadpool spoke. "Hey, it's not my fault I'm so huge." Teric replied. "Besides, I'm not alone." "Oh!? Who'd you bring?" A teleport sound from Dragon Ball was heard, and floating next to Teric made Deadpool s**t his pants... literally. It was Sub-Zero, and no, not the Mortal Kombat one, but Lightning Bliss's husband. "Hey, man," Sub-Zero spoke. "This the problem?" "Yep." Teric spoke. "He's been a nuisance, from what my brother told me." "I heard. Don't worry, Mr. Deadpool, since you didn't hurt my wife, I'll make it not as painless." They both realized he was was gone. They turned to see Deadpool running away as if he was in a GMod video, screaming his head off. "... Care to do the honors." "Indeed. Spirit bomb." In mere seconds, a giant ball of raw energy was made, held up by Sub-Zero's right hand. He threw the ball at Deadpool. A huge, silent explosion came from it, which was soon followed by the loud boom sound effect that made the flames go away, and some weak objects flying away. "Think that did it?" "Yeah. He's going to feel that when he regenerates."