//------------------------------// // It's An Odyssey. It's Odd-To-See // Story: Super Mare-io Odyssey: A Story Untold // by Cool_Quick //------------------------------// Everyone thinks they know what happened in Super Mario Odyssey. After all, you went to all the kingdoms, found all the Power Moons, that's all. Or is it? Truth is, there were a couple of things the game didn't mention. Like how Mario and Cappy ended up in a world of talking ponies. Surprised I said that? This whole story will be a surprise, and maybe Nintendo might see it. Maybe. Anyway, this is the truth about what happened. Who better to tell it, than Mario himself. Take it away, Mario. (Ten Years B.C.) [Before Cappy] The alarm blared. I awoke with a jump, one that was so big that I nearly decapitated myself on the ceiling fan. Coming back down, I glanced at the alarm, and it said 6 o’clock. Time to start the day, I thought. I came out of bed, and felt a muscle in my back pop. Wincing, I tried to stretch the muscle back into shape. Apparently, my early morning jump routine hadn’t been the best thought. As I tried to pull on my overalls, I realized that Luigi hadn’t awakened yet. I looked over at him, and saw that he had his face hidden under a pillow. Actually, under three. I sighed. This happened at least every other morning. My name is Mario. Or, as you heard me say, “It’s-a me, Mario!” I’m thirty years old, or at the time I begin this, twenty, and my brother Luigi is ten seconds younger than me. We’re twin brothers, and as I already said, I was born ten seconds before him. As the story goes, I came out with a jump, hitting the nurse in the face. While I sat trying to recover from my leap, Luigi came out, also with a leap. That time, the nurse dodged, and Luigi went sailing across the room and into a wall. He started to cry, and I don’t think he ever fully matured after that. Our parents are dead now, and we’ve been plumbers for quite some time. For five years in fact. We started our own company, Mario Bros. Plumbing, and we’ve done pretty well. But this day was different. So far, though, I didn’t know that my life would change in three hours. All I knew was that Luigi didn’t want to get up. Again. Sighing to myself, I walked over beside the bed. Picking Luigi up, I carried him to the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the tub. As soon as it was ice cold, I dunked Luigi’s head under the faucet. Luigi squirmed in my arms, and I knew that he was finally awake. I put him down, and he got to his feet, gasping and spluttering. I handed him a towel, and he dried his face. “Wh… why did you do that?!” Luigi said. I rolled my eyes. “Do you see the time, Luigi?” Luigi looked at the bathroom clock, and his eyes widened. “EAAAAHH!” he said, or something like that anyway. With that, he ran out of the room, and ended up tripping over his towel, which he was still holding. Then, he vanished around the corner, dripping water everywhere. I sighed, and looked at the sopping wet carpet. I had just cleaned it a couple of days ago. This was a typical morning for the Mario Bros. But things were about to become far from typical. An hour later, we had finished breakfast and combed our moustaches. We had just pulled out of the driveway to set up some flyers around New York, when the phone rang. Luigi and I both reached for the phone at the same time. Then we pulled our hands back. Then we reached for the phone again. Then we pulled back. This went on about three more times until I finally slapped Luigi’s hand away and picked up the receiver. “Mario Bros. Plumbing, this is Mario. How can we assist you today?” I intoned for the two billionth time that month. “Mr. Mario, there’s a clog in my bathtub. It’s horrible.” It was a woman speaking. “What’s your address?” I asked, asking Luigi with my eyes to pick up some paper and a pen. He just gave me a blank look. I groaned mentally. Putting the phone away from my face, I whispered, “Pen and paper.” Luigi’s face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning. He picked up some paper and a pen. The woman gave me her address and I related it to Luigi. “Okay, ma’am. We’ll be right over,” I said. As soon as I hung up the phone, Luigi moaned. “Not another clog to unclog.” “I know,” I said, “But at least we’ll get paid.” We arrived at the house about five minutes later. Luigi got out of the car to get the toolbox, not knowing that I had already gotten it. I sighed, and walked towards the house. It was a nice house, other than being the color of vomit. It had shiny glass windows that seemed to litter the two stories it contained. The garage was covered, so I couldn’t see what kind of car was inside. I set the toolbox by the door, and rang the doorbell. “Mario, have you seen…” Luigi began. But his sentence was cut short when he ended up tripping over the toolbox and falling right into the door with a loud “THWACK!” The door finally opened, and a young woman, most likely in her twenties, appeared. She was skinny, blonde, and looked like a model. “Oh, my,” she said, seeing Luigi slumped on the porch. “I’m okay!” Luigi said, quite loudly. He stepped forward into the house, missed the step, and fell over again. I sighed, and tried to give the woman my best smile. “Sorry about that ma’am, that’s my brother, Luigi. He’s a bit… out there.” Luigi was lying comatose on the welcome mat inside the door, and a boy and a girl, both around 8, were standing around him, giggling to themselves. Who wouldn’t laugh at him though? I reached out my hand to the woman for a handshake. “My name’s Mario. I’d like to offer my services to clean the pipe.” “You mean our services,” Luigi piped from inside, trying to get up. He got to his feet and staggered like a drunken man, but finally regained his balance. He came up behind the woman, and said “Hello!” The woman was a little startled, and reflexively flung her hand backward, smacking Luigi right in the nose. Luigi found himself back on the floor looking at the ceiling. To make a long story short, we cleaned the drain, we caused a warp, and ended up in the Mushroom Kingdom. We saved Peach, and did so again. And again. And again. And... again... A decade after these events, just after I turned thirty, it seemed another Bowser-kidnaps-Peach-I-must rescue her-day. But, I ended up failing, and met a talking magical hat named Cappy. He helped me find a ship called the Odyssey, after showing me he could put me in the bodies of other creatures by throwing him on them. We went through several kingdoms, but I want to talk about one called the Equestrian kingdom. Technically, it's another planet. The inhabitants? Ponies. Unicorns, regular ponies, and pegasi. Sound weird? I may have seen weird things in my life, but this was going to take the cake for weirdest. But, I'm done journaling for today. This weekend, I'll begin telling the tale of my time in the land of Equestria.