//------------------------------//
// Nothing Too Grimdark for Me 
// Story: The Ghastlycrunch Ponies Anthology 
// by Dinkledash 
//------------------------------//

I sit at computer, attempting to bard
typed paeans to suffering, but its so hard,
to put photons to flatscreen; when plainly I see
that all that I'm writing's too grimdark for me!

Writing first of love starcrossed, a honey haired mare,
and her stallion, for romance great challenges dare,
but by this story's end, they're both slain as they flee.
Good heavens, this story's too grimdark for me!

I'll try a spy novel next; that won't be bad,
for the main part I'll cast a slick unicorn cad,
but the mare he seduced winds up dead by his foes!
My heart sinks as he fuels my grimdarkish woes.

I'll start a new story, plain slice of life fare,
about fillies in daycare, no grimdark to scare,
but when mad Pinkamena comes into the tale,
she opens a butchershop; coltcuts for sale!

Maybe Sci Fi will save me, I desperately hope,
but by chapter three I do not think I can cope
because half the crew's dead or bear alien eggs.
Oh please, no more grimdark, my sanity begs.

I will fool my grim impulse with eldritchy gore,
and then turn it to grimbright around chapter four,
but it's too late; Equestria's certainly doomed,
by the foals who have open Sc'thutaloo's tomb.

I'll just write a Mane Six story, that will be nice,
about Twilight's new teleportation device.
"What could possibly go wrong?" my mind asks of me,
while my grimdark subconscious just chuckles with glee.

Maybe clop will be safe from my deviant mind,
surely grimdark porn’s something uncommon to find,
but when hookers post-lovemaking beds they do strip,
they find zombie pones leave a significant tip!

So I sit at the con, and I stare at a wall,
then I shamble and stumble 'round the dealer's hall,
buying plushies to mutilate, up in my room,
Blood and Souls for Lord Arioch, and Apple Bloom!

So they took me away to a nice padded dorm.
I've this white buckled jacket that keeps me so warm,
Just stay outta my shed as I gladly decree
that nothing, no nothing's too grimdark for me!