“Did you put her up to this?” Fluttershy whispered to Discord. “Are you in on this together?”
“I had no idea she was going to do any of this. I swear, I’m as surprised as you are.”
“Well, we can’t go through with it, can we?” She was, of course, talking about the wedding. Twilight, it seemed, intended to marry Fluttershy off to Discord.
The draqonequus scratched his brow then shrugged his shoulders.
“Discord, do you want to marry me.” Fluttershy used her most stern voice, and steeled her gaze to the point where you could almost say she was giving him the stare.
“Right now, kinda.”
Roseluck and Rainbow Dash trekked thorough the vast wilderness. It’s hard to say how vast the wilderness was exactly, and they might have had a better sense of reference if they were not the size of breezies. At their current size, an open field may as well be a lush jungle. In fact, Roseluck recognized much of their suroundings as shrubs and larger perennials, not trees.
Today there was something that occupied Roseluck’s mind far more than her love of horticulture. The flower mare kept looking at Rainbow Dash, the gait of her stride, the expressions upon her muzzle. She was examining her for signs. Roseluck wondered if Rainbow Dash had already received her gift.
The very thought of it made Daisy too nervous to be around Rainbow Dash. As Twilight explained it, Rainbow shouldn’t be able to call upon the implanted memories until the time came. It was still possible that everything Daisy will ever be now resided in the back of Rainbow Dashes mind. This would include a lifetime of experiences as a surrogate sister to that little filly. Perhaps that’s what Daisy was really nervous about. Did Rainbow Dash know yet that she and Scootaloo would be separated?
“Is something, wrong Rosie dear?”
Once again, she was, referring to her as ‘Rosie dear’. Daisy was the only one who referred to Roseluck as such.
“No, I’m fine. Uh, how are you?”
Her thoughts were interrupted when they came upon their first challenge.
“Oh it’s a maze, how fun.” Yes, the path of champions led to the entrance of a strawberry maze. You’ve heard of corn mazes, well when you’re the size of a breezie, you’d be able to fly between the most densely planted corn stalks, so the thorny strawberry plant makes for a more intimidating obstacle. Also, there is something to snack on if you get lost for a while.
Rainbow Dash took a moment to admire how well pruned and free of dry spots the vines were, details she normally wouldn’t give much thought to. “A maze,” said she, “this takes me back to the first time we met.”
“The first time you met whom?”
“The first time I met the Jabberwocky.” Rainbow Daisy giggled and gave a knowing wink.
“Can’t we just fly over it.” Roseluck would have rather flown, mostly because she usually didn’t have wings. As if to answer is question, and likely so, a gust of wind shot through the air and the two breezies ran into the maze’s entrance for cover.
“How long do we have?” Fluttershy whispered.
“Well, I’m immortal, but you…”
“I meant until the wedding Discord.”
“Oh, it’s scheduled for sundown ponyville time, so one hour and twenty-three minutes and fourteen-seconds from now.” The draconequus checked his smart phone. “No thirteen seconds, twelve seconds, eleven…”
“One hour! Discord I just had lunch. How can it be so close to sundown?”
“Actually it was a tea party. Tea parties are usually held between two to four. We had ours at seven, but I know what you mean; time and space have no meaning. I love this place!”
“There has to be some way we can stall, and give my friend more time to get here.”
“Yeah, we probably do have to give her a handicap with the riddles, if she’s gonna make it in time for the ceremony. Who is she anyway; the maid of honour perhaps?”
Fluttershy gave Discord the eye again, He loved that eye. “She’s coming to rescue me.”
“We could try to trick Twilight.”
“Why whatever do you mean Discord? Twilight’s the smartest pony I know. I don’t think Twilight can be tricked.”
Discord looked directly at Fluttershy. He took a moment to examine her eyes. She looked familiar somehow, but that isn’t what he was focussed on. This mare had actually said what she said with a straight face. ‘I don’t think Twilight can be tricked.’ Soon Discord broke into laughter.
“You really don’t think Twilight can be tricked? You have know Idea, do you?” Discord tapped Fluttershy on the shoulder. “Watch and learn.”
He started to leave. “Wait,” Fluttershy called.
“Yes,” Discord turned his head.
“Don’t lie to her.”
At that moment, Twilight was hard at work directing the breezies. She wanted no less then thirteen dinner options at the wedding banquet. Discord appeared before her in a puff of smoke.
Twilight, not the least bit surprised, tackled the draconequus with questions. “Which of these napkins would Fluttershy prefer, the butterfly prints or the bunny prints? Do you like your salsa verde better with parsley or cilantro? Could you make a pose, I need to make a little dancing you for on top the wedding cake?”
He waved his bird hand and his paw to interrupt, then made a ’T’ for time out. “Hey, You’re doing a great job as wedding planner.”
“Really? That’s so nice to hear. I almost brought Pinkie in to help, but then I thought of what a fun surprise the wedding is going to be for all the girls.”
“Yeah, yeah, I just have one little question for you. How long until the wedding?”
“Eager aren’t you. Is it the wedding you can’t wait for, or the honeymoon.” Twilight nudged his shoulder with her elbow, and gave him a little wink. “I know this one. The wedding is at sundown ponyville time.”
“Okay, and when is that.”
“What, c’mon Discord, it’s when the sun goes down.” Now Twilight lowered her voice, still not having told Fluttershy about her strange condition, “Even I can figure that one out.”
“Then what are you rushing for?”
The princess paused. “Well, won’t it be sundown soon.”
“Sundown is thousands, of seconds from now.”
“Thousands!”
“Yes.”
Twilight was on the verge of being nervous, then an idea occurred to her. “Nice try but I think I get your trick.”
“You do?” Discord was genuinely surprised.
“Ten to the eight angstroms is only a centimeter, 273.15 Kelvin is actually zero Celcius, so what’s a second to a day? How many days are in a second?” Twilight knew this. She wracked her brain looking for an answer. Her condition was really more about not being able to put past events in sequence or retain bad memories, and she had a trick to get around her more ridiculous mental block of not understanding clocks most of the time. There are sixty strawberries in a basket, sixty baskets in a cart, and you get 24 carts from the whole field. It was easy until she tried to remember if seconds were represented by the cart or the field.
“Well.”
“Okay, I don’t know, but I still think sundown is soon.” The princess gave a sly grin. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”
“What are you talking about? You can’t see the ponyville sunset from where we are.”
“Sure you can.” Now Twilight grinned like a villain. “I moved the station into a new geosynchronous orbit. Our world will eclipse the station right at sundown. The sky will go through four colours before turning dark; it’ll be beautiful. And after the wedding were going to have a traditional breezie reception festival.”
Discord poofed back to Fluttershy, who was watching the whole exchange. “Okay, she got me.”
“I thought she would.” ‘But why did twilight seem to think thousands of seconds would make a long time?’
“Don’t worry I have another idea.”
Discord poofed himself to another location.
After he left, Fluttershy wondered about something else. ‘Did he ever call me by my name? I don’t think he did.’ She was being silly of course. Discord must know who she is.
“Out of the way,” screamed Princess Luna, “you’re blocking my sights.”
He jerked from a sudden change in momentum. When discord teleported, he merely locked on to her magic, he didn’t even know where she was, not really. Wherever they were, they were moving fast; or was it slow, on account that he no longer felt the constant revolution of a planet as it moved through an expanding universe. Did their planet revolve? Maybe that feeling is just water in the ear, he wondered.
Anyhow, Discord jumped aside. He was indeed blocking two joysticks, a steering wheel, five gauges, six pilot lights, and a windshield. Discord didn’t know what the joysticks did, but a pair of green crosshairs appeared on the screen and moved as if to follow Luna’s horn, and therefore her line of sight. Whenever she pressed the button, lights would move in the direction of the crosshairs, and he would hear a pa-tooey sound.
Luna seemed to be firing at multicoloured ships that protected a white ship. However, the white ship did not hold back. Though the others seemed determined to protect, the white wonder would move out of convoy and aggressively fire shots of its own. Whenever Luna was hit, the floor would rumble and a gauge would move farther into the yellow. The gauge was almost red.
“Ooh where are we.”
“Starfighter #2, you just made me take a hit. Why are you here Discord?”
He looked at the various gauges and lights, trying to make sense of them.
“Does this gauge show the health of the white ship?”
“Yes, every time I hit her it counts down.”
“And is this one for your ship.”
“Yes, Discord, it is.”
“What does it mean that hers is steady green, and yours is flashing yellow?”
“Why are you here Discord?” Luna moved two joysticks. The ship arched and sped up into the curve. Luna was okay, but Discord, who was not wearing a seat belt, bumped into the side wall.
Rubbing his antler, Discord asked, “Luna would you mind Lowering the sun a bit later today.”
“Why?”
“I have a wedding at sundown.”
“I see.” Luna was used to Discord casually giving the most shocking news. Even Twilight did that. People loved to see her spit take. “What is this, your seventh wedding?”
“The one in Las Pegasus doesn’t count.”
Luna pulled back the steering wheel, and the ship increased in speed. Discord was thrown back again.
“Normally I’d help you out, but I’m not even lowering the sun today.”
“Okay then I’ll ask Cadence.” He turned to leave, then spun his head around, thinking to ask one more question. “So, who’s in the white ship.”
“Someone Spike brought here for Twilight’s birthday. You haven’t seen her in a long time.”
Discord poofed away.
“Don’t cover your eyes mom! This is the best part.”
Cadence and Flurry heart were at the top of the roller coasters incline. The cart stopped and held. It could have dropped immediately, but the timing was meant to build tension.
Finally it dropped. Cadence raised her hoofs and yelled. Flurries scream was more a - “Whoo-Hoo!”
Suddenly Discord appeared in front of them. Again not expecting a large change in momentum, he nearly smashed into them. With quick reflexes, Flurry Heart kept the draconequus a foot away, using her horn’s magic. “Hi, uncle Discord, what are you doing here?”
“I need you to delay Sundown,” he yelled.
“It’s not my turn to lower the sun!” Flurry yelled back.
Discord held on to the rails as the Sonic Rainboom coaster did the first of three 360 loops. “Okay then.” He turned to Cadence and pulled one hoof off her right eye.”
“I need you to delay sundown.”
“What? I can’t hear with all the ponies yelling.”
“I need you to delay sundown.”
“It’s not my turn to lower the sun.”
“What do you mean it’s not your turn? It it’s not you, or Flurry, or Luna, and Twilight only does it every fourth summer sun festival and when I trick her into thinking it is time for the summer sun festival then…” Discords thoughts were interrupted as he bashed his head on a scaffold; ‘that’s why you should remain inside the coaster at all times.’ The coaster sped away as Flurry gave another “Whoo-hoo!”
“Don’t worry Discord, Twilight told us about the wedding. We’ll be there.”
Now Discord was mad, and his head hurt. Still he had one more thing to try. He poofed away yet again.
“I heard if you keep your hoof on one wall, and keep moving forward you can eventually get out of any maze,” Roseluck suggested.
“Not a bad idea, although even if the maze abides by the laws of space and doesn’t go on forever, The walls are made out of thorns.”
Roseluck nodded as she took another bite out of a strawberry that was larger than her whole body.
“Now don’t fill up on berries dearie. There’s going to be a banquet at the wedding.”
All of a sudden, Discord appeared before them.
“Who dares to challenge the all-powerful Jabberwocky.”
His appearance would have been more shocking if their voices didn’t sound like they’d all swallowed helium. Still, Roseluck leapt backward and poised to run. She would have done so, if it was just for her own sake, but none of the flower mares were the types of cowards who would abandon a friend.
“Hi Discord.”
“Rainbow Dash, oh my goodness, it’s been forever, but I’d know that mane anywhere. I love what you’ve done with your hair.”
“Thanks,” she ran a hoof through her mane, and blushed. “Is this the part were you pretend to be scaring off challengers but actually exposit about the rules of the game or give us our first riddle?”
“You know me so well. Actually, uhm… Twilights gone insane and she plans to make my wedding real and legally binding.”
“No way!”
“Way.”
“Why would she do that?”
“I don’t know.” He held out his arms in exasperation. “I guess she figures if she marry’s me off then she can keep me away from Fluttershy.”
Rainbow stopped in her tracks. “Did you say Fluttershy?”
Rarity’s sofa appeared and Discord flopped into it. Rarity would probably be mad that he was getting hair all over it. “Yes, you know it’s been almost a millennium for me, and I still miss her. I don’t quite remember the face, all you ponies look alike to me.”
The mares were a little insulted by that comment, yet chose to take it with a grain of salt.
“I remember other things. I remember her kindness, her singing voice, how carefully she brushed her animals hair and how that bunny had to brush hers with the brush in its mouth because she didn’t worry about herself only others. I remember the taste of her cucumber sandwiches. It took me years of experimenting to get them right. I was sure the flavour came from root beer but it was actually Worcestershire sauce and garlic powder in the cream cheese.”
“Discord, did you say Fluttershy?”
“My daughter screwball loves those sandwiches. I think she was my favourite. They say parents don’t have favourites, but don’t believe them. At least I get a postcard from her once in a while. The others, ha, they can all warp reality at will and get whatever they want, so they don’t even call to borrow money.”
“… About Fluttershy?”
“Oh yes, Fluttershy, I’ve missed her so much. I thought Twilight understood. She was so supportive of my feelings for her when Fluttershy was gone and beyond reach, but you know what it was like before. She was always cautious with me, ready for me to turn evil again. I thought we were past that. Heck, I thought Twilight understood after that week where she became Midnight Sparkle.”
Rainbow Dash knew she was going to say this. She knew what would come of it. She still couldn’t stop herself. “DISCORD, IT’S FLUTTERSHY THAT YOU’RE MARRYING!”
“Say what?”
Discord was frozen and speechless. One might think the Draconequus had turned to stone again, except for the way his pupils darted back and forth. They watched the activity, the internal conflict, for almost a minute before he finally spoke. “Will you excuse me.”
Poof.
Discord appeared back in the breezie banquet hall and turned to Fluttershy.