//------------------------------// // To Swoon Like a Loon Under Moon // Story: Just a Little Batty // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// “Moooooooom!” My lungs heaved, my wings beating furiously as I surged forward with each flap. The house was finally in view, and I pushed myself harder, my voice nearly breaking the sound barrier. “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!” I burst into the living room—completely missing the door—and latched onto my oldest and greatest bastion of hope. “Mom, you have to help me!” “What is it, Night?” She gave me a soft, feathery hug. “Did something happen at school?” “Uh-huh!” I nodded into her fur, inhaling the scent of roses and honey as I tried to calm down. “Something big?” she soothed. “Really big!” I squeaked. “Really, really big?” She ran a hoof through my mane. “Really, really, really big!” I tried to get closer. “Big enough to merit leaving a hole in the wall?” she chuckled. I froze mid-nuzzle at her tone. “...Oops?” “I thought so,” Mom sighed. “Give me a minute to fix the house and then we’ll talk.” She pulled away, and I quickly scrambled onto the couch. Her candle and book had been knocked to the floor, so she picked them up and set them on the table beside her lounger. Tufts of cloud littered the room from my entrance—remains of the wall and coffee table. Humming, she gathered them all up and pushed them into the wall, sculpting the resulting bulge until it seamlessly filled the hole. “There, all better.” Mom’s smile turned into a frown. “Though we are going to need some new clouds to replace the coffee table.” “Sorry….” I squirmed from my spot on the couch. “Oh, don’t be sorry, sweetie!” Mom swept me back into another hug. “This was easily fixed, and everypony makes mistakes.” She booped my nose, and I couldn’t help but giggle. “You should see what Princess Twilight does when she panics.” “Still…” I squeezed Mom tighter for a moment. “…I should know better.” “Night…” Mom sighed, but said nothing more. We sat for a minute or two as she brushed my mane with her hoof. I wriggled a little, but didn’t fight her embrace, humming appreciatively at her soft touch. “You ready to tell me what had you so worked up?” Mom whispered. “Mhmm….” I’d been ready for a while, staying silent just to avoid ruining the moment. “I’m listening, then.” She pulled back a little to look me in the eyes. “I—” I bit my lip. “Rumble asked me to the Hearts and Hooves dance, and I said yes.” “Oh, Night, that’s wonderful!” Mom’s ears perked up and she smiled. “My little filly on a date at a dance….” “Mom!” I squeaked. “This isn’t good! I don’t like like Rumble. I thought we solved this. I thought he got it!” I squinted my eyes shut and buried my face in her coat again. “And I couldn’t say no because he asked me in front of everypony! “I tried to,” I sniffled, “but I didn’t want to burst the clouds under his hooves. The whole school was watching….” “From what you’ve told me of him, I think he could have dealt with it,” Mom chuckled. “I didn’t want to risk it…” I murmured. “How did Scootaloo take it, hrmm?” Mom rocked me back and forth. “She-yea-eaahh—” I yawned, rubbing my eyes. “She was quiet. Too quiet. And she stayed that way all day.” “Well, it sounds like in saving one pony’s feelings, you hurt another’s.” Mom squeezed me tighter. “That’s the—” I shook myself, fighting off another yawn and pouting at Mom. “That’s the problem. Also, stop it before I fall asleep on you.” “Sorry.” The rocking stopped. “Old habits.” There was a moment of silence. “Mom, what do I do?” “Your best, of course.” “Mom.” She sighed. “I think you should have a talk with Scootaloo and Rumble about this. You’re all big ponies. You should be able to have a discussion like adults.” “Is that all you got?” I whimpered. “I have faith in you, my little star.” She nuzzled me. “You’re more than mature enough to be the voice of reason for both you and your friends.” I giggled. “Have you met Scootaloo and Rumble?” “Why am I here again?” Diamond arched her brow at me. “You’re my backup, of course!” I grinned, briefly glancing towards the door of Sugarcube Corner. Heavy rain washed against the walls, drumming through the near-empty store as we talked. “You want me to help you out of your mess?” Her brow rose higher and she tilted her head a little. I just pouted, and she squinted at me for several moments. “Fine…” she harrumphed, crossing her hooves and looking away. “You owe me one for this, though. It would have been so much easier if you had just told him no, you know.” “I know.” I squirmed a little. “That was my bad.” “So you admit this is your mess?” Diamond smirked. “Yes, Your Highness.” I rolled my eyes. “I admit this is all my fault. Clearly, I should be court martialed.” “Hey guys!” Rumble walked through the door and shook the rain from his wings, piling into the booth. “Rough weather out there. I’m surprised you still wanted to hang today. Are the others here?” “No, it’s just us.” I glanced around Sugarcube Corner again. It was about as empty as we could hope for, and we had the corner booth for privacy. An evil, Pink monstrosity even patrolled the perimeter, shooing away other customers from our side of the store. With a wink and a wave, Pinkie momentarily retreated into the back, only to immediately come back out with a tray holding three milkshakes. With unnerving speed, the sugary demon placed them before us and went back to zooping around the store. Like always, my mango-caterpillar shake had a candy-coated butterfly on a stick instead of an umbrella. I picked it out, and snapped the snack up in a single bite. Dark chocolate, orange, and… a monarch butterfly? Mmmm… that’s tasty. Too bad I was here on business. I took a sip of my shake—straight from the glass, ignoring the straw—and waited for Rumble to situate himself. Of course, he saw fit to mimic me and almost dropped his glass. “Gah! That’s cold!” he rasped, fumbling his chocolate shake before quickly setting it down. He massaged his temples and whimpered for a moment before asking, “Oooph… how do you do that, Night?” “You ask that every time.” I gave him a mini scowl. “And every time I tell you I just do it. If you haven’t got it down by now, maybe you should stop torturing yourself.” “How can I when you always say straws are for wimps?” He grinned. “Can’t let you be thinking that about me now, can I?” I had to fight not to roll my eyes and pointed to my backup. “Do you see me calling Diamond a wimp?” She responded by demurely taking a sip from her cinnamon shake, lips somehow pouting around the straw as she fluttered her eyelashes. “Err….” Rumble squirmed under her gaze. “Diamond’s probably one of the last ponies I’d ever call a wimp.” “Good answer.” There was a brief flare of fire in Diamond’s eyes, and she took her next sip straight from the glass. “I’d hate to have to prove you wrong.” Wow. Not even a shiver. That was impressive for a first-timer raised with a swirly straw and a silver spoon in her mouth. “No way….” Rumble gaped. “Have you been practicing in secret or something? What’s the trick to it?” “No, I haven’t been practicing!” Diamond’s cheeks darkened. “Much….” She whispered the second part so quietly I could barely hear it. “Anyways, we’re not here for a milkshake drinking contest!” “Well, there’s not much to do other than snack on stuff and hang. A milkshake drinking contest doesn’t sound so bad, honestly.” Rumble shrugged. “Unless you two want to go back out in the storm, that is. We could go see a movie like normal, but I’m not really in the mood for dancing in the rain today.” “Yeah,” I coughed, “I’m fine with just chilling. Speaking of dancing, though, I… umm… I wanted to talk to you about the dance next week.” “Really?!” He got this stupid goofy grin on his face, but it quickly turned sheepish as he began to rub the back of his head. “Wait…. You’re not going to tell me you changed your mind, are you? I know you don’t like me like me. I’m fine just going as friends, you know.” “You can do that?” I gaped, and Diamond elbowed me in the ribs. “Of course we can!” Rumble beamed. “Thunder used to go to school dances with Blossomforth all the time!” This… wasn’t good. I had been hoping saying I just wanted to be friends with him would get him to back off. Guess I needed another approach. “Isn’t he married to Blossomforth?” I squirmed, trying to buy time. “Yeah….” Horseapples, that stupid grin of his was back. I looked to Diamond for help, but she just shrugged and set her hoof on mine. The moral support was nice, but I’d been looking for more than that when I said she was my backup. “Look, Rumble…” I looked everywhere but at the pegasus in front of me. “I can’t go with you to the dance.” “Wha— Why?!” Oh, no. He was pouting again. I could hear it. “I… err… that is…” I guzzled most of my milkshake to buy time. “Argh! Brain freeze!” I doubled over and rubbed my temples. “I believe Night is trying to say it’s not a good idea.” There! That was some good backup, Diamond. “It could be!” Rumble stomped a hoof on the table. Uh-oh…. That was his insubordination voice. I had to head that off fast…. What could I possibly— “Well, too bad for you, then!” Diamond huffed, her grip on my hoof becoming vice-like. “She doesn’t want to! She only said yes because she didn’t want you doing this in front of the whole school. Besides, I already asked her like two weeks ago and she said yes.” “Wha—“ I was swiftly and mercilessly elbowed in the side. “What?!” Rumble gaped at me. “We’re… err…” I stuttered, Diamond’s hoof tightening more and more as I scrambled for an answer. “We’re going as friends?” I glanced at Diamond and received a subtle nod. “She… uhh… asked me because she wasn’t comfortable asking anypony else with her history.” ‘Liar, liar, flank on fire!’ I could hear it coming from a mile away as Rumble opened his mouth to— “Eurgh… who am I supposed to go with, then?” I blinked as his defiant scowl was replaced with wilting ears and wringing hooves. “Pip and Feather both got dates, so I can’t just chill with them.” Was he really going to just buy that load of— No. No complaining. Just go with the skein. Do not question Diamond’s little miracle. “You could just get a date of your own?” Diamond arched an eyebrow. “With who? My admirers?” Rumble snorted. “Most of them aren’t really…” He waved a hoof trying to find the words. “…on the level of me and Night. I want to go with somepony who can keep up with me.” Now! Now was my chance! “What about Scootaloo?!” I lunged forward, planting both hooves on the table. The glasses on the table shook and rattled in the ensuing silence. My smile faltered as Rumble looked at me like I’d grown a second head, and Diamond just tutted in the background. “What about Scoots?” Rumble eyed me a little warily. “I mean, she’s a nice friend and all, but I’m pretty sure she’s not into me like that.” By the stars, he was so dense. How had I ever been that dense when he’d been crushing on me? Now that I had a better idea of what to watch out for… Were ponies just supposed to be oblivious? There had to be a manual somewhere; I just hadn’t found it yet. “You can just ask her to go as a friend.” My backup was on the case again. “That’s what you wanted to do with Night, right? I know for a fact that Scootaloo wasn’t planning on asking anypony herself.” “I—“ Rumble licked his lips. “I could do that. You don’t think she’d find it too sappy, do you?” I took a deep breath. “Rumble, I think going to the dance with you is exactly what Scootaloo needs. Trust me when I say she’ll love it.” Alright, he was smiling again. Good. Now I just had to survive going to the dance with Diamond. My ears fell flat as I looked at myself in the mirror. “I look stupid….” “You look stunning.” Mom picked up a brush and began running it through my mane. “No, I look stupid,” I whined. “Dresses are stupid. Why do I need to wear a dress?!” “Because it’s your first formal dance,” Mom said, trying to sooth my nerves. “Everypony will be dressed up, including your date—” “She’s not a date!” I pouted, stomping a hoof. “—and you know Diamond is going to be a stickler for these things. How much was she talking about her dress this week?” “A-a lot….” I squirmed. It was true. She’d been bragging all week that she had just the perfect gown—which meant I needed an almost perfect gown to go with hers—but all I had was the dress Rarity made for my ‘date’ with Rumble. Something was… off… about it, though, and I had to figure out what before she got here. “How’s my little light in the night doing?” Dad poked his head in the room, and I shrunk a little in my dress. “Nervous…” Mom sighed. “She keeps insisting she looks stupid in a dress.” “I do, though!” I pouted. “You do not!” Mom snorted, continuing to brush my mane. “You’re absolutely beautiful, dear.” “Aye,” Dad chuckled. “You really are quite a sight, Night. If you were taking a colt, I’d have to scare the living moonshine out of him.” I frowned, saying nothing. “If you’re that dead set on something else, though, I have a surprise for you.” Dad moved further into the room, revealing a bag on his back. “I thought you might not like having to wear some frilly dress, so I went and ordered you something else from Rarity.” “Tempered… we talked about this.” Mom fixed Dad with a glare. “I know we did.” Dad gave a rumbling laugh. “That’s why I used my own personal savings. It wasn’t that much, and she deserves it with how well she’s been doing.” “You spoil her sometimes.” Mom shook her head, smiling. “You know you love it when I do.” He smiled. “You see me stopping you?” she laughed. “What is it? What is it?!” I squeaked, craning my head to try and peek in the bag. “Well, I figured you might appreciate your very own—” Smirking, he reached into the bag. “—dress uniform!” “No way! Really? Screeheeheeheehee!” I almost tore the dress off as I sprinted towards Dad for a closer look. There was a coat that had a slightly shimmery silver color to it with charcoal epaulets. A dark, almost black, sash and pants hung underneath it, while an actual, honest-to-goodness pickelhaube balanced on top of the hanger. “Night, careful!” Mom had to toss the brush aside to catch the dress. “Whether or not you like it, this is both a beautiful dress and a gift. You need to treat it better.” “Sorry, Mom.” I swirled and poked at the floor with a hoof. “I just got a little overexcited.” “Like father, like daughter, I guess,” Mom chuckled. “I’ve never worn a dress in my life!” Dad roared with laughter. “No, but I certainly remember you hating suits.” Mom set my dress down where it wouldn’t get in the way. “Why do you think I got her this?” Dad put the uniform back and handed me the bag. “There’s nothing as good-looking as a pony in uniform. My little filly is going to be the sharpest pony at the dance.” “Oh, horse—” I cut myself off at a pointed glance from Mom. “Ponyfeathers, look at the time. Diamond is going to be here soon. Out. Out!” I nudged an amused Mom and Dad out of my room. “I’ll call you both back in when I get this on.” “You sure you don’t want help?” Mom called through the door. “I’ll be good!” I called back. “It’s not a Luna-forsaken dress! I might need you to redo my mane, though!” “Somepony is excited for her date,” Dad whispered just loud enough for me to hear. “It’s not a date….” I felt my cheeks heat up, and I grumbled to myself. I couldn’t help but grin, however, as I pulled the uniform out again. “Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.” The doorbell rang, and I strutted down the hall to the living room where my parents were waiting. When I walked into the room, Mom squealed and snapped a picture of me, all while Dad whistled and clapped in approval. “Ooooh! My little filly is growing up so fast!” “Looking real sharp, Night.” Dad grinned at my pickelhaube. “I might have to scare some colts off tonight whether you’re leaving with one or not.” “Dad!” I whined, pouting. “You think we should take a picture of her and Diamond together? Sure, they might say it’s not a date, but—“ “Mom!” I hissed. Blushing, I bolted through the door and threw myself into a glide, circling down slowly to give myself a chance to cool off. “Parents giving you trou...” Diamond trailed off as I landed, mouth agape. “Okay, wow. This is a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t expecting you to go all out.” “Well, I had to with you going like that.” I waved a hoof at her in her glittery masterpiece with all its ribbons and sparkly bits that lit up the night like a mini galaxy. “Are those gems enchanted to light up?” “They are!” Diamond smirked, sticking her snout up in the air. “I paid good bits for that. You don’t think it’s too much, do you?” “Not at all.” I smiled. “It’s nice and subtle, like a field of stars.” Diamond giggled, waving her hoof at me. “Thank you. Sadly, flattery will get you nowhere. I’m going out with a friend tonight.” “Don’t even joke about that!” I scrunched my face. “My parents have been joking about us dating all week.” “At least I’m not a colt.” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me. “So they love reminding me.” I rolled my eyes. “It got old real fast.” I glanced about, eager for a change of subject. “So, where are the others? I thought we were all going to meet beforehoof?” Diamond shrugged. “They’re all freaking out at home—at least the girls are. I made sure to get ready extra early.” “I guess we should just head over to the school, then?” I tilted my head to the side. “No telling when they’ll be done.” “Sure.” Diamond smirked, giving a curtsy. “As long as my knight in shining armor is ready.” “Ha. Ha. Very funny.” I rolled my eyes and bowed. “After you, then, milady.” When Rumble walked into the schoolhouse, Scoots wasn’t with him. He smiled sheepishly as everypony stared before backing out for a moment and pushing a small squirming mass through the door. Scootaloo squeaked as almost every filly in the room glared at her, shrinking inward even more. She grabbed Rumble’s foreleg as if it were a life line, and stared almost vacantly into the distance. “Ah, somepony still thinks she’s dreaming.” Diamond giggled from her spot on the wall beside me. “Maybe you should go bite her.” “I’d rather not.” I sipped at my punch. “I’m perfectly fine just spying on her and the others all night.” “You mean like we did to you?” “Turnabout is totally fair play.” Scoots shook like a leaf as Rumble pulled her over to the snack table. She scarfed down some sandwiches and guzzled her punch until she had a coughing fit, her cheeks blackening from both lack of air and Rumble frettedly patting her on the back. “Should we go over and help?” I glanced at Diamond. “No, it’ll just make things worse.” She waved a hoof. “Scoots is almost literally choking.” “She’s a strong filly. Give her a chance.” About half a minute of almost dying later, Scootaloo finally regained a little composure. She couldn’t look Rumble in the face, but she was, at the very least, breathing. “So, you going to dance with me tonight?” I blinked at Diamond’s question. “What?” She shrugged. “Dance? The thing literally in the name of the event?” “Err….” This was kind of… sudden…. “Do you want to?” “I wouldn’t mind,” Diamond sighed. “I mean, it is my first actual school dance. It’s fine if you don’t want to, though.” Well, when she put it that way… “I guess we could do that later, if you want.” I squirmed a little. “It’s not like friends can’t dance together.” “Thanks,” Diamond murmured. “It really means a lot to— Oh my gosh! I think Rumble’s trying to get Scoots out on the floor. Look at her!” Scootaloo had dug her hooves in as Rumble pushed her towards the dance floor from behind. Her eyes were wide. His eyes were furrowed. I could just see the stubbornness radiating off of him now. “Yeah, she’s not winning that.” I took another sip of punch. “She totally egged him into one of his moods. Only way she’s going to avoid that dance floor is if she remembers she has a spine.” With a lot of squeaks, whinnies, and grunts, the two of them finally scraped their way to the edge of the dance floor. When Scootaloo continued to freeze like Rumble’s brain on a triple milkshake binge, Rumble just sighed and started dancing on his own—awkwardly bumping Scootaloo every so often, as if a nudge would jumpstart her hooves into moving. “Might need that dance a little sooner rather than later.” Diamond squinted at the pair. “If she’s not moving by now, she definitely needs a little encouragement.” “Right now?” I blinked. “I… uh… don’t exactly know if I’ll be encouraging if we do that.” “Well, you can’t be any worse than Scoots.” Diamond huffed, pulling herself away from the wall. “Come on! Let’s go!” I stared after her for a second as she made her way onto the dance floor. “Of course she wants to help now….” I muttered to myself. “Plenty of training in the Junior Guard on how to do the heimlich. Nothing on dancing until you hit officer’s school.” Shaking my head, I set out to join my d— friend, weaving my way through several pairs of ponies to get across the room to the edge of the dance floor. “Alright, how are we going to do this?” I whispered to Diamond, uneasily shifting from one hoof to another. “Easy, like this.” Diamond grabbed my hoof and swept me onto the floor, giggling like a loon under moon. I squeaked as she pulled me along in a series of spins—half graceful, half clumsy—and tried my best to match my hoofsteps with hers. She quickly slowed herself when it became obvious just how bad I was at keeping up, and she leaned herself into me to help guide me through all the steps. “You know, slow dances usually get saved for coltfriends,” Diamond tittered, her dress glittering hypnotically as she slowly spun us around. “Shut up.” I tried to squirm, but she had me in a vice grip. “I can’t! You’re so easy sometimes!” She laughed for a bit before falling silent. “I’m really glad we met after I was… you know….” “A bully?” I spoke softly, trying to keep my eye on both Scoots and Diamond. Scoots was finally loosening up a little. She was twitching, at least, furtively glancing at me and Diamond. Rumble was perking up at the sight, trying to nudge her into actual motion more and more. Eventually, she started swaying, and then she started nudging him back. By the end of the song, they were basically doing full body contact, unarmed sparring with only a hint of actual dancing. They were both laughing, though, so mission kind-of-sort-of accomplished. Diamond, on the other hoof, had fallen silent. “You okay?” I asked. She was slowing a little, so I gingerly took the lead. I regretted it almost immediately when I stepped on one of her hooves. It barely seemed to register to her, though. Her frown may have deepened a little, but she didn’t even flinch in pain. “I’m fine….” She wasn’t. I waited a little, and when she didn’t say anything more, I decided to try again. “You sure you’re alright? You don’t look it.” “Yes, I just—“ She sighed. “Do you think we would be friends if you had met me back when I was a brat?” I blinked, missing a step and trodding over my other hoof. “What? Why are you even asking that? Of course I’d still be your friend.” “I don’t think you would….” Diamond looked down. “You’re nice and sweet and sensitive. I used to love picking on ponies like you.” “You don’t now.” “I did, though.” She squirmed, but I didn’t let her go. “And I have a feeling I would have kept going at you until I provoked that other side of you.” “Other side?” “The side full of fire and steel that doesn’t have a problem doing whatever it takes to set things right.” “You aren’t making any sense….” “I think I would have made you hate me—completely and utterly—and I really don’t like that thought.” I spun Diamond a few more times, trying to think of something I could say. “Anyways, thanks for listening. I know I’m just being stupid.” Before I could think of a proper response, Diamond pulled me into a hug. “It’s nice having somepony who doesn’t see a bully when looking at me. Even the other Crusaders sometimes slip.” “Even Silver?” I stupidly said the first thing that came to mind. Diamond giggled, squeezing tighter. “Okay, maybe I am being melodramatic. Thank you for that.” We simply spun for a bit, forgetting to dance. “Oh! You see that!” she squeaked. “See wha—” I gaped as we spun enough for me to catch the tail end of Scoots pecking Rumble on the cheek. He had frozen in shock, wings flaring out, blush blazing up his neck as he hurriedly looked about the room. As he caught sight of me, I smirked and stuck my tongue out at him while he opened and closed his mouth like a fish in need of water. Then, he went out of view as Diamond and I spun, and she giggled. “I think he may have finally caught on. What do you think he’s gonna do?” “Not my problem this time.” I rustled my wings a little, letting Diamond lead. When the two lovebirds came back into view, they were both staring at each other, squirming and not saying anything. “You know, this is so much more fun to wa—“ Aaaand he was booping her snoot with his. “Nevermind…” I sighed. “Fun’s over. They decided to make it icky.” “Let me see! Let me see!” Diamond sped up our rotation. “Aww… they make a cute couple!” “We’re twelve.” I snorted. “We’re not ready for things like being a couple.” “A pairing, then.” Diamond smirked. “That doesn’t sound much better,” I grumbled. “Spoilsport.” She stuck her tongue out at me. “You want to see what the others are up to?” “Depends.” I squinted at her. “Are you planning on making sure they all leave the dance with special someponies rather than dates?” “Maaaaybe!” Her smirk grew. “Pass.” I took the lead to make sure she wouldn’t escape. “You’re no fun.” She pouted. “And you’re incor— incorri—“ I tripped on both words and hooves. “Incorrigible!~” Sweetie singsonged as she passed us with Button Mash. “That.” I nodded. “Clearly those Cosmarepolitans are rotting your brain.” Diamond just tittered in response, and so I led her through the rest of the night.