The orange light burned the sky until the dark grey clouds turned white-hot. The ground seemed to hum with a vibration that somehow resonated above. Both heaven and earth were shaking, threatening to consume all that were in between them. Yeah, that's another metaphor for the war. We've had like, two or three of those so far. Three? Well, something like that.

Dan looked around frantically. They all did, even Aegis and his crew, who were surprisingly Private First Class Sergeant Second Grade(who had been recently promoted to acting sergeant and then reassigned) and Lance Corporal Lance Corporal(who was still a lance corporal.)

"TWILIGHT SHIELD!" Dan yelled. He said it as one word when it was supposed to be Twilight, shield! She understood either way.

The lights were getting brighter now. Phoenix had to cover his eyes with his arm. "Aegis, can you combine your shield with Twilight's?"

"Right! Good idea!" The unicorn and his men hopped off their tank and galloped over to Twilight and the others.

Dan grabbed the horses and the Phoenix. The Phoenix did not like the narrator referring to him as "The Phoenix" and glared at the camera with his anime eyes.

"Huddle! Everybody huddle!" Dan yelled. He and Phoenix formed a ring with Lance and Grade. Aegis and Twilight hugged in the center of them and lit their horns. Twilight's own durable energy bubble appeared, bolstered by Aegis' dark blue shield. Although Twilight's magic was still stronger, Aegis and the royal guards had extensive training with defensive spells. Together, they hoped their energy barrier would hold.

Shield spells were both basic and advanced forms of magic. In its standard form, a shield spell drew on an emotional, spiritual and biochemical bond to create a stable kinetic field of magic that could then be projected around the user. Magical scholars noted that the shield's actual physical makeup tended to change based on the type of bond as well as the user's own desires. Some shields could be spongy or soft like rubber, others were more solid. Depending on how the user felt, the shield could also be osmotic, semi-osmotic or reverse-osmotic.

Twilight's brother was actually a specialist with magical shields, as his name and talent would suggest. A basic shield of any strength was called a repulse spell. Reflecting shields were reflect spells and were a bit more complicated, requiring a more complicated bond and cast, as such they were projected as smaller walls which could be curved rather than bubbles. The final type of shield was the expel spell, which created a barrier that rapidly expelled certain targeted things within it. Cadence was particularly strong with those.

Phoenix deployed his umbrella. They stared at him. "Hey, you don't know. This MIGHT be helping." The stares intensified. "I said MIGHT."

Dan patted him on the back. "We knew we wouldn't be able to keep the streak up forever, Nicky."

"We were going to fail eventually. I mean, I knew it was going to be you at some point, but that doesn't make this harder than it is."

"Shh-shh-shhh," Dan patted the pony. "It's dead now. A moment of silence for the fallen."

Our AIM is to do better
Chapters without failure: 5 0
Current record: 5

"SHUT UP! Okay," Dan gripped Phoenix and the other two ponies hard, hugging them all tight. "Phoenix! Other guys! Lift Al and Twilight!"

"Oh! Uh, Aegis, we're going to move the shield! They're gonna- MMMFFF!" The handle of Phoenix's umbrella got in the way of Twilight's muzzle as they were squeezed together.

"And... RUN!" The group ran, miraculously enough in the same direction past the tanks and back up Mane Street and the shield transformed into a ball. They picked up speed running in the double shield-ball, until Dan said "WAIT!" and they tripped and fell.

"Dan, did you really have to stop us while we're literally on a roll?" Twilight asked. She unhooked her muzzle from the handle of the umbrella.

Twilight shook her head in disbelief. "Really? REALLY? That's what this is about?"

Dan folded his arms. "The neighborhood's gotten a lot rougher recently. I just want to make sure Tanky is safe."

"Why am I not surprised you named the tank?" Phoenix asked. (Not that I'm judging.)

A beam of light broke from the sky before anyone could answer. Orange beams broke through the clouds above Ponyville all around them, several combining into a single beam that scorched the earth and burned tree and grassland alike. So powerful was the weapon that it burned the ground until it became glass. Equestria shook and tiny bits of dirt and debris began rising up from the ground for no apparent reason, but it made things look like a lot of power was being pooled. Or at least it worked in DBZ.

Aegis removed his helmet. His soldiers followed suit. "Your highness, it's been an honor to serve."

One of the beams approached the town from the south. Several of Sweet Apple Acres' apple trees were tossed up into the air to immediately be scorched black and be vaporized. The orange beam carved its way towards them, cutting its way all through the road. When suddenly-

"GRAAA-ERRRRAAAAAAAAAARRR!!" A monster shrieked and fell from the sky. A giant electric eel, scorched by the sun, fell from the sky, its chrome armor burnt and cracked. Another screamed and fell and then another and another. Sea ponies spilled off the creatures, dropping like stones from the clouds. They impacted the ground far below, landing in broken piles.

"I... don't really have any other explanation," Twilight said. All around them, the beams struck not ponies but sea ponies. The beasts fell in droves, the machines were blasted to pieces. Throughout the streets of Ponyville, the colossal rays targeted the crabs and the sea pony troopers, zapping the invaders into submission. For the briefest moment, Twilight thought it might have been Celestia's doing.

"Ha! HAHA!" Dan yelled. "Talk about a fish fry! Nicky, can you smell that? The seafood buffet just opened!"

"Okay, the tanks I already wasn't expecting but this..." Twilight remarked. "Marshal Aegis, do you know of any other weapons the mayor authorized? Did she request the use of anything else?"

"Well, either way, the mayor has some explaining to do. Let's head back into town!" Dan said, running down the street.

"What about the tanks?" Twilight asked. Dan then ran passed her again, this time in the opposite direction back to the tanks.

Dan's tank and Aegis' tank pulled up at Town Hall. A few other tanks and even a few Flutterbirds had landed. Sea pony prisoners were already being assembled by the Ponyville Makeshift Militia. But on the other side of the Town Hall, towering over it, in fact fixing it already was a friend they hadn't expected.

The Magic Gear pony looked at the crew as they disembarked. "Your survival indicates that the Gear Satellites were successful. Thank you for participating in their calibration."

"Calibration?" Twilight repeated. "Wait, so those big scary laser beams were you?"

"Hey! I was the one who suggested tapping into the town's power grid to boost the signal!" her sister Ace said, appearing from the other side. She was busy fixing part of the courthouse, though as she did another part of it was collapsing. "Hey dudes!"

The Mayor, the CMC and Colress all walked out of the Town Hall, pretty pleased with themselves. Dan and company joined them and together, they discussed exactly what had happened.

The scientist gave a friendly nod. "Initially, yes. Knight analyzed the sea ponies' attack and suggested that we needed something heavier to hit them with. I remembered she was able to use an orbital strike to defeat Flower Power and I asked her if any more satellites were available."

"It turns out, there's a LOT of saddle-litey things up above Equestria!" Apple Bloom chimed in.

"To be fair, most of them were meant to just broadcast cartoons," Silver Spoon added.

Apple Bloom nodded. "Yeah but, it turns out Vice Grip modified 'em to be able to fire magic solar energy lasers!"

"So, we hacked into the signal and were able to reprogram the satellites to fire on the sea ponies," Mayor Mare said, smiling. "I must say, it was quite hectic doing all this while under attack..." she approached Dan and Phoenix. "But you two both did such a tremendous job distracting them. We were finally able to hit them with something so hard it stopped them right in their tracks! You boys did excellent!"

"YES!" Dan exclaimed. The two humans high-fived, enjoying a moment of celebration before they both stopped and asked, "Wait, distracting?"

Mayor Mare nodded. "Indeed! You were both exactly the diversion we needed to get the town's orbital defense grid online. Thank you both so much."

"Statistically, the amount of damage you inflicted upon the sea ponies was strategically insignificant," Knight said, her voice as cold and calculated but still somehow adorable as ever. "The forces you initially incapacitated were regaining their strength, the squads you defeated outside the west gate were regrouping and the robotic crabs were beginning to repair their subsystems. The damage you caused to the town was greater than that done to the invaders."

Dan, Phoenix and Twilight looked at each other. The damage to the town was their responsibility. Mostly Dan's, but they both knew he was really, really good at sharing ~~blame~~ responsibility. No one was really mad at them, but the entire town was a wreck... again. That would probably change when ponies realized HOW badly the town had been wrecked. By them.

But then the Mayor came up to them and said, "Now, I know you'll probably all want to dive right in and help us with the repairs to Ponyville."

"What? ME?!" Phoenix's eyes bulged in exasperation. "YOU'RE the one who went crazy driving all over the town in an M2 Haybrams!"

"It wasn't his fault! He got tank fever!" Dan exclaimed. "Also, don't blame the tank. Tanks don't run over people, umm... I was trying to make this like a gun rights thing but I don't think the same really applies here. Please don't take my tank."

"What I think," the Mayor began, "is that because you provided us with the time we needed to activate the satellites, you three deserve the most rest. So Knight, Ace and the rest of us will take care of rebuilding the town while you three enjoy some time off," she said, smiling with what looked to be genuine sincerity.

Twilight zipped Dan and Phoenix's mouths simultaneously. "That sounds like a great idea, Mayor! We'll just head home and rest up and IF you need our help for ANY reason, you can just call."

"Indeed, Princess Twilight." She waved as Twilight ushered her two human companions back home.

"But- but wait!" Dan said, struggling, reaching back towards the group. "My tank!"

"There'll be other tanks, Dan, let's go!" Twilight said. And she dragged Dan and Phoenix all the way back to the library.

Golden Oaks was spared the damage the rest of the town had suffered. The holes in front of the tree were filled back up and in this shot, you'll notice that despite Twilight dragging Dan away from the tank before he could run back in get it, the tank is clearly parked next to the library, symbolizing that Dan either escaped Twilight's grasp somehow or more likely dragged against her dragging, dragging her back to the tank and then dragging that back home with them. Either way, Dan saved Tanky.

"And where have you three been??!!" Chrys yelled upon their return. They glared at her, prompting a smile. "Sorry! Just wanted to say that again. Kind of a tradition. So how was defending the town?"

"A freaking waste of time!" Dan shouted. "Those ungrateful little ingrates used OUR tactics as a diversion and then they have the gall to try and take most of the credit for stopping the invasion! I lead a tank battalion against the vicious sea ponies and an army of robo-crabs and they tried to blame ME- ME for doing most of the damage!"

"And now they won't even let us help fix the town," Dan said, flopping down on the couch like some sort of angry manatee. The rare Danatee. "This is the WORST invasion I've ever survived."

"Aww, there there," Chrys said. She vaulted over the couch and onto her boyfriendo, rubbing his shoulders. "I know what'll cheer you up. Some hot, steamy, se-"

"Way to keep that E-rating," Phoenix said, sitting down. He opened a newspaper which somehow had articles about the attack they had just stopped.

"Peanut butter, haybacon, pickles, onions, those little peppers I like, extra cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato and jelly," Dan said, rolling over.

Chrys nodded happily. "One PBHPOTLPILECMLT and J coming right up," she said, waifuly trotting to the kitchen to fix her man a sammich. For the record, he has done the exact same thing for her, but she likes grape jelly. Dan's a strawberry jelly man.

Captain America, Chris Redfield, Khan and Spike all came down the stairs in a single-file line wearing matching footie pajamas. Fluffle Puff came down from the invisible business elevator, which did not exist. Finally, Blast Fuse and Blast Powder popped into existence on the couch, Fusey under Dan's legs and Powdy under his arms, both of them already eating sandwiches.

"Hey girls." Dan kicked and shoved them off the couch respectively. "You have fun while we were gone?"

Fusey swallowed her sandwich and nodded, the sound of a single marble rolling a round a tin can rattling as she did so. "Yup! We blasted all the sea ponies!"

The pajama'd males assembled in the living room in front of the couch, and much to Dan's chagrin, in front of the t.v. Phoenix glanced up from the newspaper and looked at them for a long moment, then looked back down at the paper again.

"I appreciate you trying to cheer me up guys," Dan said, naturally assuming their attire was just an attempt to entertain him. "But seriously, today has been really rough and I don't think there's any- SANDWICH!" Dan grabbed the sandwich Chrys levitated at him and nommed it. "MMMMM, I love you girlfriend horse."

"It would appear that the sea ponies are fighting among themselves," Khan said. "It's quite curious as to why they would begin to war with each other while at the same time making war with others."

Chris pulled out his cell phone and set it in front of Dan on the coffee table. "We picked up a few of their signals. We couldn't understand them at first, but from what it sounds like... they're fighting each other."

Khan pulled out a Federation communicator. "This device has a translation function. We can eventually use it to speak to them, once it's been programmed with enough of the sea ponies' language but for now, it is able to decipher some of their transmissions."

"That's astounding," Twilight said, looking at it. "I want to speak to them as soon as we can."

She looked back up at him, couldn't quite bring herself to smile but still managed "Thanks." He simply smiled and gave a small nod.

And that was when there was a knock at the back door. Only one individual knocked even when he was already a house guest. Or rather, two.

Twilight opened the door. "Hey Tuxley, hey Reginald." She stepped aside. "Of course you can come in."

The two gentries and set their rifles in the umbrella stand by the door next to Phoenix's umbrella and Dan's cane. The t-rex took the recliner while Reginald went to fix their customary beverages. "Ahh, Master Dan, Mistress Chrys, Master Phoenix, Captain Rogers, Captain Redfield, Mr. Spike and..." his eyes met Khan's for a long moment. "Prince Singh," he finally said. "How do you fare, gentlemen?"

"Sniping," Tux replied. "We used tranquilizer darts, managed to down quite a few of the invaders. Not the easiest feat for I or Reginald, what with their armored apparatuses but we were able to subdue our fair share. One hopes they'll be a bit more cooperative once they come 'round, as they say."

Twilight nodded. "We can use Khan's translator to talk to them once we round up the prisoners."

"Yeah, like they're going to want to talk to us," Dan said, finishing his sandwich.

"Well, we could always try water boarding them," Phoenix said. He noticed a silence and looked up from his paper to see everyone staring, eyebrows quirked at him. "What? I was JOKING, people."

And yet he worries about other people getting sued for saying dumb things
Times Phoenix has made a witty joke in GOOD taste: Maybe 1*
*we're kind of iffy on that 1

Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Resort: Tip of The Trident- The Trident is Blunted! Ponyville's Defenses Hold Firm