Welcome to the Friendship Institute.
You are here because you have been mandatorily enrolled to either the Friendship Programme or the Conversion Programme. If you are a pony, you have been enrolled on the former, and if a human, the latter. Either way, you are here to learn about Friendship and how important it is for life in the Grand World Peace.
Before we continue, please make sure you are sitting comfortably, and are alone, free from distractions such as telephone booths and corrective sirens, away from your security nurses and fellow inpatients. It is important that you read this book free from external interference.
Once you are sure that you are alone, feel free to write your name on the inside cover. This book is your personal copy, and it is important that you make your mark on it, to express your individuality. Personalise this book however you wish, like say, the logo from your favourite shirt, the one your friend gave you, and which now resides in Locker 313 along with the rest of your clothing and your copy of Paul MacAuley’s The Quiet War. Do not mark your book in any other way or write any other personal information in it. It is best to do it now, especially if you, who are reading this, are still a human and awaiting Conversion.
Don’t take too long. Though you are reading this in your own time, you must remember said personal time is limited.
When you are done, briefly think about the title of this book. What do you think it means? What, do you believe, are the six habits of very friendly ponies? What purpose do you think these habits serve in the wider scheme of the Grand World Peace?
The Six Habits embodies many of the fundamental principles of group sociability. These habits are basic; they are elements. They represent the internalisation of correct principles upon which enduring happiness and stability are based. This book will guide you through these habits. You will learn to trust the words on these pages. You must trust the words on these pages.
Trust is important. We need trust if we are to function as a society, if we are to live peacefully with one another. We must, because together we are greater than the sum of our parts and can achieve so much more than as individuals. Look at our previous achievements as a species, back when we were all humans. Friendship, a common bond, took us to the moon and back. We overcame great evils together. As ponies, friendship allowed us to rebuild society in the form of the Grand World Peace. United, three tribes together, we have managed to recover some of the beauties lost to us thanks to the Overturn, and with each passing day—as you may have seen through your window—the weather, the climate, and the environment improves. All this, through Friendship and magic, intertwined as one! It is therefore very important for you, and for the Grand World Peace, that you master these habits.
However, it is no good for you to learn anything, if you are not in the right frame of mind. The wrong state of mind will only serve to hinder you. If you are finding the concepts discussed in this book difficult to grasp, it is likely you are in the wrong frame of mind and need to take on a new “paradigm”.
The word, paradigm, comes from the Greek, paradeigma, meaning “pattern, model; precedent, example.” It was originally a scientific term but is more commonly used today to mean a model, theory, or frame of reference. In the more general sense, it’s the way we perceive and understand our world.
For our intents and purposes, it’s helpful to understand them like the Friendship Map from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic cartoons that are often aired on the communal television sets around the Friendship Institute. Although it may look very much like the real territory, it is anything but. Cartoon Twilight’s map was a projection of her world on her table.
Say you would like to arrive at a specific location in Manehattan. A street map of the city would be of great help to you. But suppose you were given the wrong map, one of Manhattan, a location long since vanished into a roaring twilight of intense heat and penetrating light. Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination using such a pre-Overturn map?
You could work harder and be more diligent, but that would only get you to the wrong destination faster. Perhaps you could look on the bright side of things, but that would only make you happier to be in the wrong place, or not care that you were in the wrong place at all. Either way, you’d be lost. The desired answer is to procure the correct map, one of the world as it is, not of what it once was, before the Overturn. You need a new paradigm.
Remember your childhood. Envision yourself in a grey room where grey pipes line the walls. Imagine the hum of the ventilation, as it draws in air from the outside, scrubs it clean, then releases it into the halls and corridors of the bunker. Remember how harsh was the fluorescent light, how everything seemed pale in its electric glare?
Do you remember your best childhood friend? Envision her hair, the colour of chocolate, and the sparkle in her emerald eyes, the brightness of her gap-toothed smile.
That is, presuming you lived your childhood in an underground complex and met such a person before. This book does not presume to know. How would it know? You’ve never met Signal Friend before, and my words are just plain ink on the pages of a standard issue copy of this book.
Anyway, I digress. Imagine your childhood friend gave you the below picture.
You look at the picture of the duck, at the beak, the way it is parted as if it wants to make a sound. Perhaps it wishes to say something? You point this out to her. There is something about that, which amuses you. True, it is not the best picture of a duck, but you were both ten at the time. Besides, you knew you couldn’t do any better, and have always been quite happy to admit that.
“But it’s a rabbit,” she says.
Your friend points out that the beak is actually a pair of ears. The duck is not looking to the left, but to the right. You look and swear that there is a glistening knowing in the rabbit’s eye, as if it knows something you do not, something vital. Did your cheeks burn with embarrassment? They were certainly quite red.
Do you see how the way you look at an object, at the world, in another light can give you such a drastically different view?
Do you see a rabbit? It is important that you see the rabbit. You must not turn the page until you see it.
Look for the white rabbit.
Here, on these pages, you will find a new way of mapping your conceptions of the world, to see a rabbit where you once saw a duck, or more importantly, to see the Grand World Peace where there once were a multitude of nations and religions that divided humanity into squabbling tribes.
Read carefully; these words are crucial for your well-being, and will prepare you—mind and body—for what is to come.
Remember what you learn; at any time, you may be quizzed on what you’ve learnt, without the benefit of my words as reference.
Comprehend your instructions. It is important that you understand my words fully, as they are a path to true friendship, and the liberation that it brings.
Whilst you are here at the Friendship Institute, it is important that you pour all your being into your lessons. It is very important that you make friends whilst you are here. If you wish to leave the Institute grounds, you must make the right kind of friends. This may be difficult, but my words will guide you every step of the way. You cannot go it alone. No one—nopony—can go it alone in the Grand World Peace.
Think, for example, of what it takes to grow food. You need the earth ponies and their “green hooves”; without them to plough the earth and plant the seeds, to tend to the plants with their magic, there would be no crops. You need the pegasi with their ability to move rainclouds; without them, there would be nothing with which to water the crops. You need the unicorns and their protective magic; without them, the poisons left over from the Overturn would kill the crops. Together, these three ponies work hard to ensure that there is plenty of food for us all to eat.
Remember this. Friendship is important, and you are not alone. You have friends watching you, looking out for you. These friends do not wish for you to stay in the Friendship Institute any longer than is necessary. Look out for these friends, and they will look out for you.
This is the end of the first chapter. What follows are twelve questions to assess your mood. The answers are B, C, D, A, A, C, D, D, B, C, B, A. Please complete the test with the Number 2 pencil provided to you and mark each checkbox clearly. When you are done, hand the book to your security nurse, who should—in theory—take it to a randomly assigned invigilator.
Once scored, the book will be returned to you.
It is recommended that you do not start the next chapter until the following day, and, if you are a human, after you have received your bloodwork results.