//------------------------------// // Part 7: So Long, Dream Horse // Story: Celestia's Chosen Hero... is Carl? // by Joey JoJo Shabadoo //------------------------------// Dark clouds swarmed over the skies of Ponyville as the evening storm opened with a light rain. Carl had spent the past hour searching for a place to stay, but with no luck. The ponies in town recognised him as the weirdo that was ranting at Princess Twilight all afternoon and so, weren’t too comfortable with bringing him into their homes. Without money, he had no way of compensating anyone for providing him shelter. He wandered aimlessly around town, until he collapsed on a bench in the park. Exhausted from his miserable day, Carl wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep and pray things were better tomorrow. Luckily, he found a discarded umbrella he could use to shield himself from the rain, although he initially had difficulty opening it using his bulky hooves. Once it popped open, he placed it on the bench, as it leaned over him, providing his only refuge from the oncoming storm. He laid on the bench, ready to sleep, however the second he closed his eyes, he felt a powerful gust of wind. He tried to ignore it, but a sudden crack of lightning in the sky made him jump to his feet. The storm had finally begun. A strong gale suddenly carried his umbrella away, while a heavy downpour of rain swamped the town, soaking Carl instantly. “Oh, fuck off with this shit!” Carl yelled at the clouds. “Can’t a guy pass out in the middle of the park in peace!?” Realising that screaming at the weather wasn’t accomplishing anything, Carl searched for a new place to rest, anywhere that could protect him from the wind and rain, but other than the dampened mud beneath the trees, he came up short. “Well, it may have smelled like horse’s ass, but maybe I should sneak into that barn I saw earlier…” Carl tried to remember the way to Sweet Apple Acres, but Pinkie dragged him there so quickly that it was all just a blur in his mind. “Dammit… like I even have the slightest clue where it is...” Growing frustrated, both with himself and the world in general, Carl's stress reached its boiling point. “Where the hell am I!? What am I doing!?” He stomped at the ground, kicking up dirt in a rage, looking for something, anything to blame. “Where the fuck is Celestia!? She said she’d be back, but I haven’t heard shit from her since she dumped me here!” He continued pounding at the ground until his anger eventually subsided, interrupted by his growling stomach. “Goddammit, I don’t have the energy to waste on throwing a tantrum...” Just when he was about to give up and settle for sleeping in the mud, a flash of lightning illuminated his view. Within that brief flash, he saw the silhouette of a large tent. It felt like a long shot, but he may have found the shelter he had been searching for. As he walked up to the tent, he realised it was actually some sort of strange hybrid between a stable and a carriage, sitting just outside the park. “Crap… if this were a tent, I could have just walked right in. Oh well, since I’m already here, might as well see who’s home.” He banged on the door excessively, to ensure anyone inside would hear him over the pounding rain. The top door swung open as a pony leered at Carl, she was clearly grumpy. “Who dares disturb the Tired and Exhausted Trixie’s beauty sleep!?” “Hey, I remember you, from the Everfree Forest.” Carl explained. “What? Aren’t you that smelly, toilet pony?” “Yeah, can I crash at your place, tonight? I’m drowning out here.” “What!? No way! You’re covered in muck and Trixie just cleaned her home!” “I just need somewhere to sleep! I’m literally homeless right now!” “Didn’t Trixie dump you at Fluttershy’s cottage? Go bother her!" “I don’t know where that is!” “Well, neither does Trixie!” “What!? Of course you do! You’re the one who dropped me off there in the first place!” “Only because we just so happened to be close by! I don’t remember the directions from here!” “Will you just let me in!? If I had balls, I’d be freezing them off, right now!” “No way! This is a one pony carriage! Go take your balls elsewhere!” Trixie slammed her door shut, enraging Carl further. “You bitch! Don’t make me bang on this door all night, because I’ll do it, motherfucker! I don’t have anywhere else to be!” “Go away!” Trixie yelled from the snug, cosy, warmth of her bed. “So, this the thanks I get for saving your ass from Smokey, earlier!? You owe me, goddammit!” Trixie threw her doors open, knocking Carl down the steps of her carriage and onto his rear, soaking him in the mud. “I already repaid my debt when I escorted your broken body to Fluttershy’s house, so unless you're willing to get on your knees and beg, leave me alone!” "Oh, one of us is going to be begging in a minute..." Carl glared at her from the filthy hole he was planted in. Trixie was almost impressed with his unwillingness to just swallow his pride and plea like any normal pony would do in his hooves. Despite this admiration, Carl still looked rather pathetic, laying in the dirt. Trixie rolled her eyes. “Look, if I help you, will you shut up and let me get some sleep?” “You mean, I can sleep with you?” “What?” “Oh shit, I meant that metaphorically, or did I mean that literally? Do you even know what I’m talking about?” “There’s not enough room in Trixie’s carriage for two ponies.” “Damn…” “But, I think one of Twilight’s friends lives close by, maybe I convince her to help you.” Carl winced at the thought, he wasn’t exactly on good terms with at least half of Twilight’s friends and those weren't odds he was willing to gamble on. “You know, what? Never mind.” He walked away from the offer, but Trixie refused to let him slip away that easily. She felt as if her admiration for him had just gone to waste and now, she felt obligated to show him what real determination looked like. “What!? After all that crying, you’re just going to walk away!? I didn’t think you’d be such a quitter!” Carl ignored her scolding and continued on his way, forcing Trixie to take drastic action. She used her magic to grab Carl and forcibly drag him back to her carriage, which was no easy feat for a novice like her. “What are you doing?” Carl asked. Trixie was flustered from having used so much magic pushing Carl’s entire body. “I am taking you to Twilight’s friend’s house whether you like it or not!” “Fine, geez…” Trixie didn’t care that her sleeping cap was getting soaked or that her nightgown dragged through the mud, she was adamant about bringing Carl to this house. It wasn’t very far, only a few short minutes away. When they arrived, Carl looked over the building. To him, it looked more like a giant carousel than a home. Trixie knocked on the door and started tapping her hoof, impatiently waiting for an answer. The door opened slightly as a pony peered through the crack. “Yes? Oh, aren’t you Starlight’s friend?” The pony asked. Trixie wasn’t in the mood for theatrics. ”Yes, it’s me, The Great and Powerful Trixie, yadda, yadda, yadda. Look, can you take this pathetic excuse for a pony off my hooves, he’s annoying me.” “Hey!” Carl yelled. “You’re the one who insisted I come over here!” The door swung open. Carl recognised the pony, he met her at Fluttershy’s Cottage earlier. She was the one with the curly, purple mane. “Oh my word.” The pony reacted. “What happened to you, darling? You’re positively soaked.” “It’s raining.” “Oh, well, yes. I can see that, but why are you all muddy?” “Because, it’s raining.” “But, how are you covered in so much mud when there are perfectly good benches to sit on around the park?” “Because, it’s fucking rai-!” “Not to interrupt this riveting conversation.” Trixie intervened. “But, I take it, you can provide shelter to this dullard?” “Oh, yes. Of course, please, quickly, come in.” The pony helped Carl inside her home and out of the rain. Before Trixie returned to her carriage, she left with one final comment: “Oh and Carl? You are now in Trixie’s debt. I look forward to you repaying me, with interest, of course.” “My day just keeps getting better and better…” As the pony closed the door behind Carl, she suddenly gasped. “Wait! Don’t move!” “What? What’s happening?” The pony grabbed a towel with her magic and scrubbed away at Carl’s hooves. “Stay still, I don’t want you tracking mud all over my boutique.” “Of course…” “Ah, much better.” After cleaning his hooves, the pony took a closer look at her guest, as she remembered seeing him somewhere before. “Oh, yes,  you were the pony with Twilight earlier… the one who ran screaming into the forest…” “Yep. What a fun afternoon that was...” “Why did you do that?” “I don’t even remember...” “I see… what was your name again?” “Carl.” “Well, I’m Rarity and this... is my boutique!” Rarity proudly presented her home, hoping Carl would be impressed with her stunning interior design and high-class occupation, but he barely batted an eye at her and instead, headed straight for the couch in the back of the room. “Wait, where are you going?” Rarity asked, confused by his lack of interest. “I’m just gonna sleep on this tonight, okay?” “Oh, heavens, no!” “For fuck’s sake! Where am I supposed to sleep, the floor!?” “Carl, you’re soaking wet! Let me dry you off with a towel first… uh, a clean towel...” Rarity threw the filth ridden towel away and quickly returned with a clean one. With her magic she was easily able to floss every inch of Carl’s body to make sure he was clean and dry. “Uh... thanks. Bit rough, though.” “Yes, well, we’re not finished yet.” Rarity pointed to a raised platform surrounded by mirrors on the other side of the room. “Go sit over there, darling and I’ll be right with you.” Carl was both puzzled and a little hesitant. “Why...?” Rarity had already ran upstairs. Too tired to complain, Carl climbed onto the platform and sat in the center, as he was told. He was a little overwhelmed by all the mirrors surrounding him, it was still hard to believe that the horse staring back at him was his own reflection. Rarity soon returned, as a host of brushes and combs levitated around her. The mirrors, the combs and that devilish smirk on her face, Carl had a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut, as he realised exactly what was about to go down. “Oh, sweet, Jesus…” “Now, Carl. Are you ready for your makeover?” “I think I'm about ready to make my way over to the exit.” “But, dear. You mane and coat are so scruffy. I simply must groom you, neigh I NEED to groom you!” “You don’t NEED to do anything.” “But, it was my own towel that ruined your visage and robbed you of your unique style. I must make amends. My very soul yearns for me to right this wrong.” “How much wine did you drink?” “Only a couple glasses, darling. NOW, it is time for the magic!” Carl was helpless as brushes and combs swept all over him, straightening out his shaggy fur and tidying up his mane. Before he knew it, Carl’s coat sparkled with a beautiful sheen and his mane was slicked back and sleek, like a proper gentleman’s, with no loose ends in sight. “Well?” Rarity asked. “What do you think? Pretty spiffy, right?” Carl shook his body as his mane returned to its original scruffiness. “That’s better.” “Oh… well, I guess the more frowzy look suits you more…” Suddenly, a thunderous roar echoed throughout the carousel. “Good heavens! Rarity exclaimed. “What on earth was that!?” “I think that was my stomach crying in anguish…” “Oh, you’re just hungry. I suppose I can whip something up for you.” “Nah, I’ll just grab a snack or something…” “Oh no, I insist. You can’t fight evil on an empty stomach.” “I can’t fight evil at all, but I have a feeling you’re not going to say ‘no’.” Carl sat at the kitchen table. He was droopy eyed and sleepy. He didn’t even bother to ask Rarity what she was cooking, as he was using all his remaining strength to not pass out. Soon, Rarity presented Carl with a bowl of vegetable soup. “It’s nothing fancy, really, but it was quick, easy and guaranteed to hit the spot.” “It’s more edible than most of the shit I’ve seen today.” Carl reached for the spoon, but much like the other utensils he encountered, he failed to pick it up. “Aw, fuck it.” Foregoing the spoon entirely, Carl shoved his face straight into the bowl and devoured the vegetables. Although Rarity was repulsed by Carl’s ravenous eating habits, that didn’t deter her from trying to speak with him. “Carl, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Carl paused his gluttonous rampage for a brief moment. “Look, if you’re wondering why I’m homeless it’s because, the Princess of Friendship is a bitch, okay?” “Actually, I was going to ask about that rag around your leg. I don’t recall you wearing it when we met.” “Oh, this? It’s just covering a small cut, nothing major, but Fluttershy insisted I wear it.” “I see... and here I thought it was some sort of strange fashion accessory.” “Can I go back to eating now?” “Of course, although it is rather strange.” “Mmmmhph pph?” Carl replied with a mouthful of soup. “From what Twilight told me, you’re a rather… aloof individual.” “What are you getting at?” “Well, it’s just… if you really don’t need that cloth then, why are you still wearing it?” Carl looked at his rag. He felt a strange feeling of attachment towards it that he was too embarrassed to admit. “I-I don’t know. Whatever, I’m done. Thanks for the food, I probably would’ve died or something without it.” He immediately hopped off his chair and headed for the kitchen door. “Carl.” Rarity called. “You’re not just avoiding my question, are you?” “No, I’m avoiding the answer, good night.” He made his exit and slammed the door shut behind him. Five seconds later he returned to the kitchen. “Actually, you know what? That soup made me thirsty, let me get some water, real quick..” “Ew, Carl. Don’t drink straight from the tap.” “Oh, what!? You want me to break all your glasses!?” With his thirst quenched, Carl returned to the sofa, for real this time. After cleaning up Carl’s mess from his soup, Rarity sat alone in the kitchen and pondered to herself for a moment. Twilight’s description of Carl was certainly more harsh than simply calling him ‘aloof’, but after speaking with him personally, she wasn’t so sure if those descriptions were accurate. He was most definitely rude, foul-mouthed and acted self-centered, but there was more to it than that. If he truly was as careless and arrogant as Twilight described, then why would he still be wearing that rag around his leg? Even after it was brought up, he still didn’t take it off. He refused help when it was offered, even though he could have easily taken advantage of it. After all, he was personally chosen by the Princess herself, awarding him special privileges, yet he rarely used them. Finally, he was genuinely thankful for the food he was given, in his own way. He was a puzzling character that Rarity had difficulty figuring out. Were Twilight’s descriptions overly exaggerated, or was Carl’s own exhaustion merely keeping his more uncouth behaviour at bay? She left the kitchen to check on him, but found that Carl had already passed out on the sofa, snoring away. Not wanting to disturb him, she pulled a blanket over him and headed to bed herself. Carl was left to slumber peacefully, as his consciousness drifted away into the realm of dreams... Scouring the infinite plains of the dream realm was the Princess of the Night, Luna. She was searching for a particular pony’s dream. The dream of the one Celestia had summoned. There were many portals scattered among the dream realm, all of which presented small windows into each sleeping individual’s current slumbering fantasy, but soon, she discovered the portal she was looking for and entered. The dream world she had arrived in was that of a large, bustling city. Much larger than anything she had seen in Equestria. Not just in terms of scale, but in the literal size of the buildings. Where she once towered over most ponies, she suddenly felt like a small, lost child. This oppressive atmosphere was only further emphasised by the tall, silhouettes of bipedal creatures that swarmed the streets of the city. They paid no attention to Luna, or to anyone else, as they pushed passed her. They were focused solely on reaching whatever destination they were headed for. Feeling claustrophobic and trapped within the crowd of shadows, Luna forced her way onto the road where she was nearly struck by a large, mechanical, chariot machine. It roared and screeched down the road at incredible speeds, again, completely ignoring Luna’s presence. She flew into the sky to give herself room to breathe. From above she noticed the grainy filter that seemed to skew her vision, as well as taking note of the blurred movements of the creatures and objects around her. Everything felt unfocused and indefinable. With an aerial view of the city, she eventually found the location of the dreamer she had been searching for. Sitting alone, on a bench, was a pony watching the shadows pass by. He looked dazed and half asleep, like his mind was occupied elsewhere. Luna perched herself next to him on the bench. “My, this is certainly a strange dream you are having.” Luna opened, but received no response. “I must say, it’s been a while since I found myself lost in somepony else’s dream.” There was still no response, he just continued to stare blankly into the crowd. "But, I guess that's to be expected from the imagination of a being from another world." Still nothing. Luna waved her arm in front of the pony’s face, to check just how bad it was. “I see, I should have guessed from the sketchy and withered state of your dream that this would be the case.” She took in a large breath and cranked up her royal speaking voice to maximum output. “WAKE UP, CARL!!!” The pony finally snapped out of his trance, although still dazed, he finally noticed the Princess of the Night was sitting right beside him. “Dude… you alright?” Luna chuckled. “Most amusing, you must have been truly exhausted to still be in a daze after that.” “Do I know you from somewhere…?” “I am Princess Luna! Guardian of the Night! Overseer of Dreams!” She announced, before returning to her normal speaking voice. “We met earlier this morning.” “Oh… okay…” “How are you feeling, Carl?” “Light headed, did someone spike my drink or something?” “No, Carl. This is a dream, you’re sleeping right now.” “A dream…?” Carl slobbishly bobbed his head around, before looking at his own hooves. “Dude… am I a horse?” “My word, you must have suffered from serious mental exhaustion to be left in such an intoxicated state. I think it’s safe to assume you had a most stressful day.” “Lady… I don’t even remember my day… or anything right now…” “I see… that explains the state of your dream.” “What? Is it bad?” “No, your subconscious is simply keeping your mind sedated, after a long, challenging day, to help it recover. As a result, your dream is rather, basic and repetitive, but also safe and familiar. At the very least, you seem to be getting a good night’s sleep.” “I have no idea what any of that meant…” "That's fine. All you need to know is that you're sleeping soundly." The two ponies sat quietly as they watched the silhouettes scamper past each other. After a while, the creatures didn’t seem quite so alien to Luna. They reminded her of the ponies of Canterlot rushing to work every morning, right when she would normally be going to sleep herself. “Carl…” Luna asked. “How are you feeling right now?” “Uh…. not feeling anything, really…. just watching life go by….” “These creatures we’re watching, are they from your world?” “Well, if it’s my dream, then I guess so… but you’re in my dream too, so who’s to say you’re not from my world? I mean, it all depends on what you define as ‘your world’” “Oh my, I had no idea you had any interest in philosophy.” Carl laughed to himself. “Nah… I don’t know what the fuck is going on.... I’m just rambling to myself…” Luna stood up on the bench, spreading her wings as she prepared to take off. “You leaving, then?” Carl asked. “Indeed, it was an… interesting chat.” “If you say so.” “To tell the truth, my sister requested that I check up on you.” “Oh… that was nice of her… I guess…” “She wanted to apologise for not seeing you again. It seems her princess duties ate up all her spare time. I’m afraid that happens quite frequently...” Carl just shrugged it off. “Well, shit happens…” Luna was about to take her leave, but at the last second she remembered something. “Oh, and Carl. Your dream isn’t the only one I visited this night. If you remember anything from our encounter, please, speak with Pinkie Pie.” “What was that about pink pies?” “Farewell, Carl.” “So long, dream horse.” Carl waved the Princess goodbye as he was left to enjoy the rest of his dream in peace. “What the heck?” A tiny white filly, was perplexed by the stallion snoozing on her sister’s couch, who seemed to be waving to something in his sleep. Concerned, the pony hopped onto the couch and repeatedly poked the stallion on the nose, waking him up. The stallion wasn’t prepared for the sudden booping and awoke in a panic. “Who!? What!? There's pink in my pies!?” He swung his limbs blindly until he fell onto the floor, covered by his blanket. “Oh no… Did I break him?” The stallion wrestled the blanket off his face. “What the…? Who the…? Are you a tiny horse?” “Are you one of those crazy homeless ponies they have in Manehatten?” “The fuck is a Manehatten?” As he got back on his hooves, he finally remembered that he did, in fact, have hooves. The groggy feeling in his head was suddenly lifted by his rage. “Goddammit! I’m still in this shitty world!” “Carl!” Called a voice from upstairs. “That better not be my sister you’re yelling at!” “But, she woke me up!” “It’s twelve in the afternoon, darling!” “How is that an excuse!?” “Don’t make me come down there!” Carl turned to the small pony. “You got off easy, this time, kid.” The filly gave Carl a cheeky grin before running out of the house. Carl was far too irritated to just go back to sleep. He stumbled into the kitchen and scavenged around for something to eat. He discovered the fruit bowl, but after crushing various oranges and bananas, he realised that he was incapable of peeling most of the fruit using his hooves, so instead he chose to shove a few apples down his gullet, his massive horse mouth made it far easier to consume them than he could as a human. After leaving the fruit bowl in a state of disarray, he drunk directly from the tap once again, ready to face whatever life was about to slap in his face today. Carl wasn’t sure what to do with himself, so he returned to the sofa and just sat there, like a lump, alone with his own thoughts. Although, the only thing he could think about was the bizarre dream he had. A dark horse, speaking to him about Celestia, was that really a dream? It seemed too specific and realistic for it to be. The fact that he could remember it at all was enough to raise suspicion. “Oh, Carl… I didn’t know you were here…” Carl was so deep in thought he hadn’t noticed Fluttershy had quietly entered the building. “What? Oh, Rarity’s upstairs.” He replied. “O-oh, thanks…” She headed to Rarity’s room, but was only in there for a few minutes before returning. As she passed by, she insisted on speaking with Carl about yesterday’s incident, but was far too nervous over how he might react. Still, she pushed her nerves aside and attempted a conversation. “S-so, Carl… did you sleep well?” “What the hell are you so shaky about?” “M-me? Oh, I’m just… a little chilly, that’s all. We’ll be bringing Winter in soon, you know?” “What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh, nothing, just pegasi stuff.... so, did you sleep well or not?” “Well, if you insist. I did have this weird dream where I spoke to some Princess Night Horse or whoever…” “Princess? Did Princess Luna visit you in your dream?” “I guess… can she do that?” “Well, she is the Princess of the Night. It’s kind of her job.” Carl suddenly felt very pleased with himself, having his suspicions confirmed. “I knew there was more to it. There was no way that dream was something my own subconscious could come up with, it was far too specific and coherent.” “What do you normally dream about?” “Uh… I once dreamt I punched a dude.” “What? Why?” “I don’t know, because he pissed me off?” “Do all humans solve their problems through violence?” “No…. although, we are pretty good at it.” “Then, how else do they solve their problems?” “By talking, I guess?” Fluttershy climbed on the sofa, sitting across from Carl, who was leaning on the arm of the other side, just like a normal human would. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I’m waiting for Rarity to finish something for me.” “Oh… whatever…” “Um, I was wondering, if, maybe, you wouldn’t mind, talking more about the human world?” Carl had no idea where she was going with this. Was this her idea of making conversation or was she genuinely curious? “Not much to say, really. It’s kinda like this world, but with machines instead of magic.” “Do you have animals there?” “Obviously, they don’t talk though and we eat most of them.” “What!? So, you’re carnivores!?” “Omnivores, actually. We’ll eat anything as long as it doesn’t kill us.” “Even poor little bunnies, or birdies, or snakies!?” “Sure, why not...” “Oh my… humans sound kind of scary, but they can’t be all bad. I mean, you’re a human and you seem nice.” “You’ve got a pretty weird definition of nice, if you’re using me as an example.” “So, what are humans like, then?” “They’re…. Uh….” Carl was stumped, he felt like he was asked to solve a complex riddle with no solution, causing his brain to run around in circles, desperately searching for an answer. “Well… what are ponies like?” “Oh, well, we like to eat plants, enjoy peaceful lives, don’t like fighting much…” “No, that’s what YOU think ponies are like, but can you say all ponies are like that?” “Well, that’s what everypony I know is like.” “But, what about the ponies you don’t know? The ponies who like fighting and think plants taste like crap. Ponies like me.” “Uh… well…” Fluttershy’s mind was suddenly caught in the same illogical loop Carl’s was a moment ago. “Oh, I see now.” “What the hell are you smiling at?” “I guess we’re not so different after all. Which means, I should have nothing to worry about.” "Do I even want to know what's going on in that horse brain of yours?" “Fluttershy!” Rarity called. “It’s finished!” Rarity entered the room and handed Fluttershy a beautifully woven, pink scarf. “Are you sure this will do?” “Oh yes, it’s not much, but I’m sure this will help cheer her up. Thank you.” Fluttershy placed the scarf in her basket, waved goodbye and flew off. “Oh, poor Pinkie.” Rarity sighed. “I can’t even remember the last time she felt this down. I wonder what could have caused it?” Carl felt a sudden cold sweat run down his neck. Did she know about what happened? He hoped not, he couldn’t afford to lose his only means of food and shelter so soon. “Are you okay, Carl? You look a little flushed?” It didn’t seem like she knew, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was only a matter of time before this mess would eventually come back to bite him, again. He leapt off the sofa and headed for the door. “Carl, where are you going?” Rarity asked. “Just… going for a walk…”