For the first time, Lemon Hearts felt like she knew what it really meant to be the Magical Princess of All Friendship. In such a short period of time, and from just a party and an apology and a hug, Moon Dancer had gone from a caustic, bitter hermit to... whatever in Equestria this was, sprawled out on the picnic table and cooing.
"Yo, we're glad you're happy," Minuette said, "but careful there, you're going to spill the cocoa."
Moon Dancer was clearly in no state to care about cocoa. "You giirrrrllls," she said blissfully. She apparently felt no need to add more.
Lemon Hearts caught Twinkleshine's eye. Her white-coated friend was always a bit less successful on the romantic scene than the others had been, but even she seemed nothing but amused about seeing somepony so lovestruck. "How many dates has it been so far?" she asked.
Moon Dancer tilted up onto her back and held up all four of her hooves. "Not counting my party." She dropped her legs to the table, as if completely exhausted. "She called me her special somepony."
"We know, kiddo," Minuette said.
"Her mane is... pink," Moon Dancer said, staring up at the sky with quiet intensity. "Not just pink. Like... cream pink?"
"Light pink?" Lemon Hearts offered.
"No, it's not light pink. Have you girls ever read Buckomachaen Ethics, the White Wolfsbane translation? Aristrotle talks about the principle of rationality bearing no weight on the desired virtue of subsequent societal joys, but rather the choice of the greater good from wisdom, not knowledge." She smiled at her friends lazily. "Fluttershy's mane is like that, but for pinkness."
"So, she called you her special somepony, did she?" Minuette said loudly, clearly worried they were losing control of the conversation. "That's a big milestone. What do you have left?"
Moon Dancer sat up, never able to resist delineation. "Hm," she said, scratching her chin. "I saw her house. I saw her work. I ate her cooking (very good by the way). I met the rabbit, and I met Discord. Her best friend Rarity told me that she wants to have lunch next week, and I think that's kind of a test to see if she approves of me? I mean, I think that because she told me it was and that I already passed and that she loves the color of my coat, so I'm not too worried about it."
"Has she been to your house?"
"Um. No." Moon Dancer sighed apprehensively. "I'm still living out of boxes, and... well, I'm kind of weird about my space, you know that. She said she gets it." A soft smile. "She said she's looking forward to coming over when I'm ready. I think it'll be soon."
"What about her friends? Jumping right into the middle of the Elements of Harmony, that's gotta be intimidating."
"Oh no, they're great," Moon Dancer said. "Well. Her friend Rainbow Dash is being kind of weird? But Pinkie said she was going to throw a party next week where things could be cleared up."
Lemon Hearts beamed. "How far have you and Fluttershy gotten?"
"Um. We... kissed. We've only been together a month, is that too soon?"
Minuette burst out into laughter. She noticed nopony else was laughing and she stopped. "Oh," she said, "You were serious. No."
"I've waited longer than that," Twinkleshine said.
"I mean, I guess I've waited longer than that?" Minuette said thoughtfully. "But none of the guys I've dated have been anywhere as hot as Fluttershy, anyway."
"But it's not... normal?" Moon Dancer asked.
"Oh, nothing's normal," Minuette said breezily. "I'm definitely not normal. One time I picked up a guy while magically hypnotized by a changeling."
Twinkleshine gawked. "What? How'd you do that?"
"I honestly have no idea, just went out and met him. That thing was so boring. What'd you do the whole time you weren't pretending to be a bridesmaid?"
"I just stood there and stared off into space the whole time!" Twinkleshine snapped. "I was magically hypnotized!"
"Well, so was I!" Minuette said defensively. I can still get lucky while hailing the all-powerful Princess Cadence, can't I?"
"I guess you can. Whatever."
"Whatever?! Listen..."
Lemon Hearts was torn: she had never heard her friends so openly discuss what must have been a traumatic experience, but this was seeming like just another iteration of a very old argument between Twinkle "Insecure" Shine and Minu "Can't Take Criticism" Ette.
But suddenly, strangely, Moon Dancer spoke up. "Um... she was a changeling queen, right?"
The two arguing friends stopped and looked harshly at her. "Yes?" Minuette answered, annoyed. "So what?"
"So, changeling queen mind control magic focuses on biology and neurochemistry." Moon Dancer adjusted her glasses. "You weren't actually hypnotized; that's a very different phenomenon (the distinctions are very interesting if you want to hear about them later). Instead, it works by flooding the amygdala and the inferior candratum with particles that mimic magical neurotransmitters. That's why it works so much better on unicorns! But these particles are transported directly into the tactites of the white matter. So, your feelings and your behaviors were totally altered, but your tendencies and habits and personalities were the same. So it makes total sense that an extrovert like Minuette would deal with the stress by going out, but an introvert like Twinkleshine would just stay in, even if there's nothing to do. It just affected you differently."
Her friends just stared at her. Then, like a sudden gust of wind, Minuette started to laugh. She clapped Moon Dancer on the back. "All that studying keeps on coming in handy, huh?" She looked back at Twinkleshine. "Hey. Sorry I was joking around about that whole thing."
"It's okay," Twinkleshine said softly. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, too."
Lemon Hearts gaped up at Moon Dancer in quiet awe. She had never seen that particular fight end so quickly and easily. "I think you're going to be fine with Fluttershy," she said. "You've gotten pretty good with ponies. Just be yourself."
"Be myself?" Moon Dancer asked, her face contorted in genuine confusion. "How could I be anypony else?"
"Right," Lemon Hearts said. "Just like that."
"Like what?"
"Exactly."
"So, that was when she said to me... um." Moon Dancer paused as Applejack and Twilight watched her expectantly for the end of her anecdote. "I'm sorry, what was I talking about? Thermodynamics?"
"The funny thing Lyra did yesterday." Twilight offered back, helpfully.
"Oh." Moon Dancer scratched her chin in thought. "That's thermodynamics! Everything is thermodynamics, if you think about it."
That was when Applejack suddenly realized: Moon Dancer was drunk. It took a while to notice, because she and Twilight had been talking all smarty the way they do, and because the cider Sweet Apple Acres had provided to Pinkie's little gathering was just barely past the line of being called 'hard.' Applejack glanced over at Twilight and received a look back that communicated her shared awareness of the situation, with just a hint of "isn't it adorable what a lightweight my friend here is?"
"I'm thirsty," Twilight said. "I'm going to go get a glass of water. Do you want one, Moon Dancer?"
"Water is the most abundant substance in Equestria," Moon Dancer replied.
"I'll assume that means yes," Twilight said. She turned and walked off towards the kitchen. Moon Dancer watched her go with a slight wobble, then her eyes lingered across the room, where Fluttershy was talking quietly with Trixie and Starlight.
Applejack chuckled softly. "I hope you liked the cider. It's from my..."
Moon Dancer suddenly held a hoof up in her face. "Applejack." She stared, completely expressionless. "Applejack. I need to tell you something."
Applejack froze. "Uh. Sure?"
"Applejack. I." Moon Dancer looked more sincere than any pony had ever looked. "I want to thank you. So. Much. For your hospitality and your generosity. Your family is the absolute heart of Ponyville, and so your kind friendship has made me feel like I could truly have a home here."
Applejack blinked. "Well, shucks," she said, blushing a bit. "I haven't..."
"Especially," Moon Dancer interrupted, "since you're Fluttershy's ex."
"Oh for the love of..." Applejack forced herself to calm down and sighed. "Listen, sugarcube, Fluttershy and me are good friends, that's it. And..."
"I'm inebriated," Moon Dancer said suddenly, sitting down on the floor. "I had two ciders."
Thankfully, Twilight returned with a glass of water, which Moon Dancer took gratefully. "The second cider was some poor judgment," Moon Dancer said, gulping down a sip. "I certainly hope I haven't been rude."
Applejack smiled warmly. "No, you've been fine. But me and Fluttershy aren't exes."
Moon Dancer looked skeptically at Twilight, who merely shrugged. The bespectacled pony downed the rest of her water. "The first cider," she announced, "was because it is still somewhat difficult for me to be open with my emotions and thoughts, and you girls here have established a set of social norms characterized by honesty and candor. I respect those norms, and I want to live up to them." she blinked languidly. "I think the first cider worked." She tried to drink again, realized she was already out of water, and set the glass down sadly. "The second cider was because Rainbow Dash is here, and Rainbow Dash terrifies me."
Twilight frowned and glanced across the room, where Rainbow was chatting with Pinkie. "Did she even say hi to you?" she asked.
Applejack answered for Moon Dancer, glaring. "Nope. Ignored Fluttershy, too." She gave Moon Dancer a look that balanced compassion and irritation as best she could. "Listen, none of us really know what's going on with Rainbow these days, but we're all right fed up with it. You know those whadijacallit norms you were talking about? She's not doing those very well."
"I just know she's been such a good friend to Fluttershy, and to you, Twilight," Moon Dancer moped. "But I come in and everything gets weird."
Applejack stomped her foot in frustration. "Hey now, don't blame yourself. That pegasus is stubborn as a rock."
"I think it might be some kind of foalhood thing?" Twilight offered. "She and Fluttershy have a lot of history."
"It don't matter none what the problem is," Applejack grunted. "You don't just ignore a friend like that."
Moon Dancer blushed at Applejack's defense. She sighed and leaned against Twilight. "Fluttershy's ex is a very nice pony. Your Ponyville friends are all great. Even Rainbow Dash, I bet."
Applejack rolled her eyes but did not try to protest. "Now I need a second cider. Are you two okay, here?" Twilight nodded and leaned back against Moon Dancer gently as Applejack walked off.
Huddled together, alone, with Moon Dancer, it suddenly occurred to Twilight that Fluttershy might get the wrong idea. But she caught her friend's eye across the room, and she simply smiled back. "Are things going well between you?" Twilight asked.
Moon Dancer nodded. "Do you remember how I get nervous about my place? I don't want other ponies there. It makes me feel... invaded." Twilight actually did not remember that, and she had to remind herself again not to self-flagellate over her previously shoddy friendship skills. Luckily, Moon Dancer continued without prompting: "I've invited her over for a date at my place Saturday night. It feels like a big deal."
"I'm looking forward to it a lot," a soft voice said. Fluttershy gently alighted in front of them, giving Moon Dancer a quick peck on the cheek.
Moon Dancer hung her head. "I had two ciders."
"Aw, honey." Fluttershy wrapped a wing around her special somepony's shoulders.
"Hey, Fluttershy," Twilight said, smirking. "Good news: Moon Dancer gets along with your ex."
Fluttershy looked at her blankly, then glanced around the room in confusion. When her eyes fell upon Applejack, her face blossomed into an enormous blush. "One date!" was all she could sputter.
Twilight leaned closer to Moon Dancer. "I had two ciders, too," she whispered cagily.
Moon Dancer started to laugh, but she was suddenly jostled from behind. They turned and barely caught a rainbow-colored tail disappearing out the door.
"Is she... leaving?" Twilight asked. Nopony replied, but the dismayed look on Pinkie Pie's face across the room answered her well enough.
Rainbow Dash burst out the door of the party, shaking her head in disgust. She would not have been able to stand another second of that. She remembered a drink Pinkie gave her once: honey pureed with cake batter, lemon-lime soda, and marshmallow creme. If she could taste that conversation Fluttershy and Moon Dancer and Twilight were having, she bet it would taste like that stupid drink.
She was supposed to apologize. That was supposed to be the whole lame point of the whole lame party. But how was she supposed to do that when Moon Dancer and Fluttershy were being literally the most annoying ponies in the history of The Land Of Annoying Ponies?
Grunting in frustration, she kicked a tree. Then she flew up above the tree and kicked a cloud. Then she flew down and kicked another tree.
She sulked. Pinkie was going to be really upset with her. Everypony else was going to be upset with her too, of course, but Pinkie was going to be really mad. Pinkie knew Rainbow had wanted to apologize, she set up the whole party so they could all start to get along again, and Rainbow had just stormed out and wrecked everything because Moon Dancer sucks and so does Fluttershy.
She kicked yet another tree. It said, "Ouch!"
She blinked and took a step back. The tree slowly faded into a shadow and slithered into a familiar but very strange form.
Rainbow glared. "Oh. It's you."
Discord glared back, hands on where his hips would be if he had any. "Yes, it's me. Aren't you a gloomy little happy little pony!"
"Whatever." Rainbow sat her haunches down on the ground and looked at him moodily. "I'll proooobably regret this?" she said cagily, "but what are you doing here and why were you a tree?"
"Why, I'm on my way to a party," Discord replied with a touch of haughtiness. "But I got a bit distracted by being a tree. Ah, well, better to be fashionably late, yes? Hey, you have a piece of macaroni on your face."
Rainbow started. "What?"
Discord leaned in closer, inspecting the side of her face. "Elbow macaroni. It looks to be glued there. Stylish."
"Wagh!" Rainbow flicked her hooves up and down against her face frantically. "Why didn't anypony tell me?"
"I thought it looked cool." Discord reached down, picked up the piece of macaroni off the ground, and tossed it into his mouth. "Tastes terrible, though, yuck."
"I didn't mean to do it!" Rainbow exclaimed. "I was making a stupid poster to apologize to stupid Moon Dancer, but it didn't work out."
Discord raised an eyebrow. "Moon Dancer?" he asked curiously. "I met her. She seems nice."
"Well, she's not," Rainbow snorted. "She's mean. And she lies, I bet."
Discord frowned. "Lies? But... doesn't she make Fluttershy happy?"
"No!" Rainbow stomped her hoof. "Fluttershy just thinks she's happy, because she has lame taste in fillies. Moon Dancer is mean and lame and thinks she's better than everypony else." She stomped both her front hooves together like she was banging on a huge drum. "Get this. She doesn't even let Fluttershy come over to her house."
Discord's frown got bigger. "What?"
"Yeah. And then she said she planned some biiig date this Saturday at her house, and Fluttershy's all happy about it, even though it's just at her house. She gets all this credit for just inviting somepony over. Like 'Oh, excuse me, hello, I'm so smart and library and unicorn books that you can come over and it's a huuuge deaaaal.'"
Discord's entire body began to turn into a frown. "Why don't you tell Fluttershy this?"
"Oh, she wouldn't listen, because she's 'in love' or whatever." Rainbow actually made air quotes with her hooves, which caused a thought to pop into her head that she was out of control. She disregarded it.
"This is awful!" Discord exclaimed. "Now that I think about it, I don't think this Moon Dancer said much of anything when I met her. Probably because she knew that I can smell a lie!"
"Yeah, well, good luck doing anything about it," Rainbow Dash said bitterly. "Moon Dancer is just terrible every time she does anything, and Fluttershy will just put up with it forever, I guess."
Discord's jaw fell open. "Forever?" he asked, his voice weak.
"Probably!" Rainbow snapped. "That's what happens. You just get stuck with somepony lame and it doesn't matter how cool anypony else is." She glared at nothing. "Somepony needs to just rip off the band-aid, show her that Moon Dancer is bad and dumb. But no, it's Fluttershy, so we all have to be sweet and pretend we like boring, snooty eggheads."
"Fluttershy is going to be sad because of this Special Some Pony forever?"
"Yep," Rainbow replied bitterly. "And we can't do anything about it. It's just impossible."
Discord smiled, but it was somehow his frowniest expression yet. "Impossible, hm? Looks like I have some research to do." Without another word, he shifted to a shadowy worm and slithered away into the night, towards the party.
"...and she has stupid, ugly glasses. ...hey, wait a minute." Rainbow looked around, noticing she was alone now. "Whatever." She had trees to kick.