//------------------------------// // 7.I'm Back.7 // Story: Wanted: Dead or Alive // by spike the lone wanderer //------------------------------// (Deep breath) ''Game of throne reference!'' Spike was like a fish that had just come out of the water, scared and lost ''Where I am? Who are you? And why am I in a coffin?'' Spike asked desperately ''Calm down, Spike! You are with me, Elder!'' This name meant nothing to Spike who kept struggling to get out of the coffin. ''I see...Forgive me my friend, but it's going to hurt you!'' Elder said. ''What?'' Elder put his hand on his friend's face, and Spike began to scream in pain. ''AAAARGGGGGG!'' Spike saw all his life pass before him, his life, and his death. He saw when his mother stabbed him with his aunt's sword and the face of his crying friend. Elder removed his hand, and Spike stared at him with tears in his eyes. ''Spike?'' Elders asked. ''Why? Why do you bring me back to life!'' Spike jumped on Elders who stopped him with only his right hand. ''Thank you for bringing me back to life, Elder! Oh, you're welcome, Spike!'' Elders said to himself. ''Answer me, asshole!'' Spike ordered. ''First, you talk to me with a little more respect and I thought you'd be happy to be alive again?'' Elder said. ''Alive? Happy? I was in Heaven! My own Heaven!'' Spike explained. ''WHAT!'' Elder was confused, so Spike decided to show him. ''Give me your fucking hand!'' Spike took Elder's hand and put it back on his head. Everything was white and in the middle of this white kingdom, there was a young drake lying on the ground. All these clothes were white except for her t-shirt, which was green. He was asleep then he slowly opened his eyes. (Yawn) ''I fucking hate nightmares!'' Spike said while scratching his right cheek, he looked around him and all his saw was white, white, Walter, white. ''Hello? Someone's here?'' Nobody answered Spike, so he decided to move on. ''It's alright, Spike! You're just alone in the middle of nowhere with nothing on you except white clothes. Yep, I'm going to get raped!'' Someone laugh behind his back. ''You must be Spike Drake?'' Spike turned to see a woman in a white toga with red hair, ''I am Faust, creator of this world, welcome to heaven!'' ''Don't care! Where the women and the bar? I want a coke!'' Spike asked. ''Excuse me?'' Faust said. ''What, I'm in heaven so that means I can do the fuck I want, right?'' Spike explained. ''No!'' Faust said. ''What? Why?'' Spike asked. ''This is a holy place where the souls of the heroes rest for eternity! Not a strip club filled with naked women!'' Faust explained. ''Yeah, well, I'll go make my own Heaven with blackjack and hookers!'' Spike added. ''FINE!'' Faust diseapered in smoke, leaving Spike alone. ''Bitch! Well, it's my time to shine!'' Spike cracked his finger and let his sick mind do the job. Spike waved his hands in the air and stones came out of the ground to form walls, and these walls came together to create a castle a thousand times bigger than Canterlot. Spike began to advance, and at every step he made, statues of him appeared behind him. They represented him as a god holding the world in his hand, Once the doors reached, servants who strangely looked like Shining opened them for their master. Spike entered his castle and saw that there was everypony there, Fallout, the Mane 5, Twilight, and of course, his mother. They all looked at him with happy faces. Spike looked at them with a smile then his arms turned into machines guns and emptied the entire magazines on them. Their bodies exploded under the effect of the bullet at full speed, but it wasn't the end of the road for them. Once dead, Spike brought them back to life to kill them over and over and over. Once reduced to lint, Spike changed their body into a throne and sat down. He created a glass of wine and hit the ground with his foot, and his castle exploded. Once the dust had settled down, Spike had become a real lord of hell with the girls chained to his feet. He looked at the new paradise he had created and laughed. ''I AM SPIKE DRAKEEEEEEE,'' Spike yelled, ''AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW-WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!'' a giant hand appeared in the sky and headed toward Spike. ''NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!'' Spike began to run, but it was too late, the giant hand grabbed Spike and took him away from his heavens. ''NOOOOOOOO!'' Black screen ''So, you like what you see?'' Elder hit Spike in the face. ''What the hell is wrong with you!'' Elder asked. ''I am an 18-year-old male dragon who was banished from his kingdom by his mother who prefers to kill instead of listening. My only friend was a pegasus that everyone loves because of a failed experience! My sister hates me, as does his aunt, his brother, and his sister-in-law. I am wanted dead all over Equestria, and my mother stabbed me to death with a FUCKING SWORD! You want more detail of my life, asshole!'' Spike explained. ''You're always complaining! Look at me, I'm Spike Drake, and I'm not a hero! Well, it's true! You are not a hero, and your death was necessary for this world!'' Elder explained. ''Necessary?! You piece of shit!''' Spike added. ''As I said, you are not a hero! You are something else!'' Spike was confused because of his answer. ''Dude, my name appears in the summary of the story, so you excuse me, but I think you smoked too many mushrooms!'' Spike declared. ''Heroes always get remembered, but legends never die! That's what you are, a legend!'' Elder explained. ''Well the "legend" got his ass kicked by his mother, so please oh great copy and paste cheap Ass Starswirl, explain this shit to me!'' Spike asked. ''Canterlot is corrupted to its very heart! Just after your banishment, something happened to your mother, and her loyal subjects! She fell under the control of a very ancient being which I thought was gone forever!'' For a moment, Spike saw fear in Elder's eyes. ''Damn! But that still doesn't explain why she killed me?'' Elder looked at him and sighed. ''I think my time has come!'' Elder stood in front of Spike and took off his hood, revealing eyes as white as the moon. ''I am Elder! God of the dragons and one of the five fingers of Odysseus! The primordial God! You think your mother killed you because she was insane? No, she killed you because you are also a finger of Odysseus!'' Spike was shocked by this revelation, Him? A finger of Odysseus! ''You can't serious? I'm not a finger of Odysomething! I'm just a stupid teenager!'' Spike replied. ''Maybe, or maybe you're just too scared to face your destiny!'' Elder said. "Fuck you!" Spike's favourite catchphrase. "For the love of Myself! I am a God so show me some respect, your behaviour is the cause of the death of your changeling friend!" Spike's rage broke out because of that sentence. ''Why are you doing this? why are you here with me anyway? I DON't NEED FRIENDS!'' Spike yelled. ''LIAR! YOU NEED FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF BEING ALONE IN A COLD WORLD! It's your biggest fear, isn't it?" Elder looked at Spike who started to have wet eyes."But you are not alone, you have your friend fallout who has gone looking for Gaulder's staff in the hope of bringing you back to life, even if it goes against your mother's orders! He will always be there for you, but will you be there for him?'' By hearing Elder's words, Spike collapsed on the floor in tears, All his life was under the sign of fear, the fear of being alone. Elder held out his hand toward him. ''The world is in great danger, and only the warriors chosen by Odysseus can save it!'' Spike looked at his friend and grabbed his hand. ''Who are the other fingers?'' Spike asked. ''Dragonius, leader and the band of the dragon, and...Fallout Shieldhunter, your friend!'' Elder answered. ''You gotta be kidding?'' Spike added. ''No, they are also warriors of Odysseus. Unfortunately, something prevents me from reaching them, something evil,'' Elder said. ''So, What do we do now?'' Spike asked. "We must go to Ponyville!'' Elder replied. ''Why?'' Elder turned and said. ''We must find Gold Hoof before it is too late!'' Ponyville, Gold Hoof's house, Voice over (bitches!) Of all Equestria people, Gold Hoof is by far the worst of all time! This pony was found half dead in the Everfree forest with only a necklace with his name marked on it. Since then, he leads a miserable life! Incapable of keeping a job because of his clumsiness, and his shyness does not help him with women. He lives in a small house with nothing but a table and a sofa that serves as a bed. In short, this guy is a shit! The door the door opened, and a man dressed in taco entered. He was tall with short golden hair. He sat on the couch and began to cry like the little bitch he is. ''I HATE MY LIFE!'' tears were streaming down Gold's face, which could not stand any longer in his life. Spike and Elder, who were standing next to him, watched the show without saying anything. ''Are you sure this pussy is a warrior?'' Spike asked. ''For the first time of my life, I doubt my god!'' Elder replied. Gold, who heard their conversation turned to them and looked at each other for a few seconds. ''AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!'' Gold jumped out of the couch to escape, but he stumbled on his carpet and hit his skull on the table, knocking him down. ''Glorious!'' Spike commented. ''Shut up!'' Elder added. ''I'm a poor lonesome Dragon, I'm a long long way from home Because my momma killed me And I kidnapped a bitch!'' ''That right!'' Elder added. ''Elder, Can I ask you a question?'' Spike said. ''Go on,'' Elder said. ''Why did you appear on my fourth birthday?'' He asked. ''Spike, what did your mother and sister always tell you?'' Elder said. ''You are a dragon, you don't belong here so bring me my drink, or I send you back to your stupid ass country!'' Spike replied. ''No! Not that one, the other!'' Elder added. ''Friendship is magic (Blurp) every time I pronounce this sentence, I feel like I'm going to shit a rainbow!'' Spike replied. ''And when you were only a child, did you have a lot of friends?'' Spike lowered his head and looked at the floor. ''I was the only dragons in Equestria for a long time, everyone was afraid of me, they fear me for what I was deep inside me! Twilight was surrounded by many of her friends all the time, as I suffocated with sadness and anger. Alone in my corner, In addition to loneliness, I had to endure the mockery of others, their laughter still haunts me at night. They made fun of me even though I was the son of the princess!'' Spike looked at his hand and tears began to appear in his eyes. ''I am not her son, and she is not my mother!'' Spike struck his horse with his leg and galloped at full speed towards his destination. Elder, who was behind him, shed a single tear that rose to the sky to create a star. ''May this star comfort you when you feel alone in this vast world!' 14 years ago ''Sniff, sniff, sniff!'' A little dragon was crying in the royal gardens. The reason for this was that it was his birthday, and as a gift, he simply received the mockery of his mother's guests. ''Hello there!'' A mysterious voice said. ''Leave me alone!'' Spike said with his tiny voice. ''Why are you crying?'' The stranger asked. ''Today is my birthday and everypony is mean to me WAHHHH!'' Spike cried under the saddened gaze of the stranger. ''Where are your friends, little one?'' He asked. ''I don't have any!'' Spike replied. ''Well, now you have one!'' The stranger added. ''Really? You want to be my friend? Even if I am a stinking dragon?'' The dragon smile. ''Even if you are a stinking dragon!'' Spike looked at him, and smile. ''I HAVE A FRIEND!'' Spike wanted to hug him, but he was not there anymore. Instead, there was a red crystal on the ground with a note that said for Spike, he grabbed it and took a bite. The crystal was so sweet that Spike began to cry tears of joy. ''Thank you!'' Spike continued to eat while watching the sunset.