*Batteries Not Included

by The worst at everything


Objects with positive charge

I don't understand. I just don't. I pace back and forth outside the boutique while the others help Fluttershy choose a dress. Everything has changed. Nopony batted an eye at my dead wife parading around town.

I would discreetly lock my hooves around ponies and point at Fluttershy, whispering things like, "Do you see her? Is she real? Are you in on this?" I got kicked out of more than a few shops, their owners snorting indignantly at my pleading.

I pounded my head against the wall until it bruised. I stared at the sun until my eyes burned. I didn't wake up. But I know this is a dream! Wait... wait, okay. If I know I'm dreaming, I should be able to do whatever I want. I scrunch my face up in concentration. With just a bit of effort, I should be able to turn into the size of a wasp, or an Amazonian warrior princess, or something!

And, go!

I open my eyes. Nothing has happened. I scream in exasperation. A few passing ponies give me concerned looks, but they decide better than to investigate.

These ponies cried for her. Now they all smile and wave like it's a regular day, nothing wrong with the world at all. I... I want to kick something. I strongly want to kick something.

"Hey Rainbow!" Pinkie calls as she sticks her head out the door. "You should come see this one! It looks so amazing!"

"Pinkie!" I firmly seize Pinkie by the shoulders and yank her outside. Her cheery smile fades the longer she looks at me. "I need you to be honest with me, Pinkie. Are you pranking me?"

I gravely enunciate every syllable of my last sentence. Pinkie giggles nervously.

"Um, at this very moment? No."

"You're not playing with me?" I press. "This isn't some ploy you guys cooked up? Because if this is really happening, I need to know the truth."

"The truth?" Pinkie gulps. I nod intensely. I've got her now. "The truth is, you're right. Not everything is as it seems. The rest is beyond me."

I scoff. "Well, what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that something happened. Something beyond our control. Nopony else even realizes it, but something big has happened. And it all revolves around your RoboPony."

I knew it! I don't know what it is yet, but I knew it! Only...

"How come you know, then? Why doesn't everypony else know?"

Pinkie grins as she slips free, bouncing back into Rarity's boutique. "Just one of the perks of being a fourth-wall-breaker!"

I fume at her non-answer. That did nothing to aid my hysteria. So, something is amiss. That much I knew. Something beyond our control... Ah. Lightbulb.

Luckily for me, I know somepony who specializes in making things out of control, I cackle quietly to myself. Somedraconequus, I should say.

It's been a while since I paid a little visit to Discord.


"Uh... hello?"

I look around the area surrounding Fluttershy's old cottage. I have no idea how to get to Discord's realm, but