//------------------------------//
// II – Of Break-Ups & Non-Existent Beards 
// Story: The Day Spike Kinda Cared 
// by B_25 
//------------------------------//


~ II ~ 

Of Break-Ups & Non-Existent Beards 


"So they go, 'Dash, your flying skills are so, like, totally amazing that we want you on the Wonderbolt reserves! Of course, a few days are needed for the papers to go through, but it’s pretty much a done deal.”  Rainbow slammed her elbows onto the table, resting her chin on her hooves and leaning forward. "Can you believe it, Spike? Just a few more days and then I’m a certified Wonderbolt!’

Spike sat on the opposite side of the booth, his elbow propped up on the table, cheek held by his palm. A smile tugged at his lips while his marefriend spoke, growing larger the more excited she became.

“Of course I can, Dash," he said after a few moments, caught up in just watching her. "You're awesome, plain and simple, and with your track record, I'm surprised they haven’t recruited you sooner."

"Tell me about it!" Rainbow rolled her head with strands of her prismatic mane covering her eyes. Spike's cheeks burned pink from the cuteness, though his heart pained for a different reason. "Could you imagine this turning out like a normal job interview? Here, try being Spitfire."

Spike looked down, glancing between his legs. "But I'm not a girl." He looked back up, eyes narrowing. "In fact, I'm not even a pony..."

"Haha," Rainbow dryly remarked, flicking her hoof at him. "Now play the part!"

Spike sat back in his seat, paying no mind to the waiters that passed them by. He inhaled through his mouth and held his breath. He rose a claw to his forehead, lowering it over his face and covering his smile.  Once the claw passed over, the drake's expression became serious, his funny face slightly less funny.

"So, you're here for the job then, eh?" Spike said, trying to sound as feminine and authoritative as he could. His words sounded like masculine squeaks. "Please, take a seat. Let’s talk business.”

Rainbow Dash bit her lip and raised an eyebrow. A moment later, he unfurled her wings, hovered up a few inches, then hovered back down into the same seat, pinning her wings back to her sides. She looked to Spike, who only nodded his head.

"Your contenders all walked and sat down, but not you," Spike tilted his head back, gazing downward. "You found a unique way of doing the same task. There's something special about you, Rainbow Dash, I can feel it!"

"Feel it?" Dash recoiled back in her seat, flexing a petite wing over her muzzle. Her intoxicating giggle wafted into the air. "How can you feel anything when you're still too scared to touch me?"

Spike choked on nothing, threw himself forward, and leaned over the table. "You said I didn't have to touch you until I was ready!"

Someone coughed. It wasn't Dash.

"Um, excuse me, sir?" the voice said, and when Spike looked left, he found an orange mare standing before their table. She wore a white apron with a kettle floating in her pink magic. "Could you please sit back in your seat? And would you like some coffee to top-off with?"

"Of course!" Spike said, falling back in his seat. He even rose his claw in surrender for good measure. "A-And another mug sounds great! Not enough coffee makes a dragon go crazy, am I right?"

"Wouldn't know," the mare replied lethargically, leaning over the table to fill the cups. "Don't get too many dragons round these parts. In fact, you're the first I've ever laid eyes on." She looked at Dash with a blushing gaze. "Though, I'd recognize that mane anywhere."

Spike rolled his eyes. "At least one of us is a celebrity." He leaned close to Dash. "That was a cheap shot Dash, even for you." He had lowered his voice so the waitress couldn't hear his words but suddenly became afraid that neither could his marefriend. "Just because I'm a wimp doesn't mean I don't want to touch you."

The glance the waitress paid him weighed heavy upon his shoulder.

"...to hug or kiss you, I mean."

Rainbow Dash watched in silence as the drake pleaded, smiling and chuckling, closing her eyes to hold back the roar of laughter. Soon her cup was filled as well, and the waitress leaned close to her.

"I hope you enjoyed our service today," the waitress said, levitating a slip from the pocket of her apron. She dropped it into Rainbow's hooves, leaving a pen on the table as well. "No charge for a hero, but we would love to hear your thoughts."

The waitress stepped back, glared at the drake for a moment, then bowed and walked away. Spike watched her leave with an expression of confusion, and when he finally looked back to his marefriend, he found her roaring in laughter, muffled by the feathers of her wing.

"What's got you so happy?"

"Happy? I'm absolutely terrified!" Rainbow Dash let the slip fall from her hooves, which she pressed into her belly. "If those claws of yours were to feel me up, I don't think I'd ever be the same!"

"What the heck are you going on about?" Spike said, spotting the slip and picking it up. He read it over, and then, his eyes went wide. "If the pony you are with is a threat on your life, write help down below, and the proper authorities will be called."

Dash's laughter died down, folding her wing. "Pass me back that slip. Let's see if we can get your mom back on the phone."

"Rainbow!" Spike brought a claw to his lips, trying to keep her quiet. He looked around the diner, seeing that no one had heard, but their waitress from afar was all the more afraid. "Be careful when saying stuff like that!"

"Yeah yeah, because everypony doesn't know your mother is the police captain." Rainbow cracked the kinks in her neck, sitting up straight once again. "Should we go back to doing the interview?"

"Bit late for that," Spike replied, letting his cheek fall back into his palm. "Was going to joke about all the titles you have, saver of Equestria and Element of Harmony, youngest to perform a sonic rainboom and all that jazz, but that stunt seems kinda wasted now."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

The two sat in silence, the air becoming tense with a scent of awkwardness. Looking at each other became too awkward after a while, so the duo opted for rubbing their arms and looking around, sipping on their coffee when they could and searching for a new topic to bring up.

"But...yeah," Rainbow began, knocking the drake from his thoughts. He'd been sipping from his mug, looking up while he did so. "To be honest with you, I was startin’ to get worried about the Wonderbolts as of late. They’ve always hinted at wanting me on their team, and then time went by and they did nothing, so their hints nowadays just feel like words, y'know?"

'I'm..." Spike went for another sip, stopped, sighed, and set the mug down on the table. "...not sure what you mean."

"The whole situation just felt like, y'know, all talk." Rainbow sighed, wrapping her hooves around her mug. The contact burned, but she kept holding on. "I could scream from the clouds that I’d make it into the Wonderbolts, and when other ponies believed that I would, I could believe that myself just a little more.”

Rainbow let go of the mug, wincing upon doing so. “Then a year passed, and even though I trained super-duper hard, I still wasn’t any closer to my goal.” She sighed. “Soon enough, fewer and fewer ponies believed in my talks of making it big—and I can’t say I blame em.”

Spike wanted to say something, both the reason why he'd asked her for this sudden date and to console her, but he sensed she had more to say, and kept silent instead.

"It sorta became this passive thing of, 'Oh yeah, Rainbow wanted to be a Wonderbolt at one point. That's probably never happening, huh?'" Her hooves rubbed each other on the table, her gaze held low. "Nopony outright said it. In fact, everypony said it was just a matter of time before I was on the team.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I could sense it though, the difference between what they said and what they thought."

Spike watched her for a few moments longer, searching himself for the right words to say, what he needed to do to resolve this situation in the best possible way. He hated these moments, or rather, he hated himself during moments like these. Ponies should just say what they feel to be the case; they shouldn't have to think about what they should say.

"It all worked out in the end though, right?" Spike asked, taking his cheek from his palm, resting the arm on the table. "It turned out that you had all that it took, so it was just a matter of time, right?"

"Yeah," Rainbow said with a frown. She kept her head low but raised her eyes, looking into his. Her normally bright and joyful magenta irises were unable to belie the sadness and disappointment just under the surface. "You're right." She chuckled; it was devoid of joy. "And here I am telling everypony else not to sweat the small stuff."

Rainbow Dash returned to inspecting the table’s surface.

Spike proceeded to clench his left claw into a fist, fit as much of it as he could inside his mouth, then bit down as hard as his fangs would allow. His inability to help this mare during her lows frustrated him immensely. In fact, he had difficulty believing she had them in the first place.

Spike's fangs pierced through the layer of his scales, though the sensation was nothing in comparison to his thoughts. His eyes were set on Rainbow, looking down at her hooves, and even in her sadden state, she was still adorable in his eyes. She was more vulnerable than she let on, but it's during these moments that he felt the most connected to her—and the most useless to her.

Which was, of course, why he considered himself a lousy boyfriend, or drakefriend, or some other third thing.

When Spike and Rainbow had first begun their bizarre relationship, it was only through these vulnerable moments, that Spike believed they had some connection, which the absurdity of their relationship could work out in the end. But as more time passed, he soon came to realize that he was benefiting more from the relationship.

It would always be Dash telling him that he was overthinking things, that he was good enough, that he should stop caring so much like on the day they got together. She was always there for him like the loyalty she was known for, and even though he was always at her beck and call, he was never there for her in the same capacity.

Spike couldn't understand why someone of her greatness would have the same doubts. Why someone who had done so much for the world would fear to be unable to do it again. A few times, she bragged of how she was able to score him in the first place, and for the life of him, Spike could not figure out if she were lying.

If he was honest, Spike felt as though he weighed her down with his insecurity. That his understanding of her down moments did nothing to resolve them, and if she wanted to be a wonderbolt and a celebrity, then all he would be doing is holding her back with his lack of ambition.

Rainbow had promised to make him into the non-caring drake she fell in love with, but he wouldn't allow that if it meant sacrificing quality from her life. She was destined for great things, like all of her friends, but Spike felt that he was always meant to be nothing more than a bystander, a listening ear and silent supporter.

With an audible pop, Spike pulled his fist out from his month. Blood tricked out from where his fangs had pierced, and he watched the crimson rivulets for a few moments. Sighing, he shook his claw, suffered the stinging sensation, and then put his claws on the table. He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes, and spoke something he would come to regret immediately.

"Listen Rainbow; there's something I wanna tell you," Spike began, but became startled at seeing his marefriend shuffling out from her seat.

"It's about time we get going," Rainbow said, standing up from the booth. She didn't look back at him as she spoke, merely a glance backward as she tossed some bits down on the table. "Tell me what's got your mind all jumbled once we're outside, all right?"

Spike stared at the bits on the table, seeing a fraction of his reflection made whole by the collection of glossy gold. He reached a claw into a small pocket of scales on his left leg, pulling a mere two bits. He stared at them, half of his face on each of the coins, and then tossed them onto the table, tiny in comparison to the rest.

Rainbow had already left, but Spike was quick to follow her outside.





The door slammed behind the drake, despite his attempts to pull it to a gentle close. He sighed, hoping no one inside was disturbed by the sudden noise, berating himself for not being better about such small things, and then remembered he had bigger things to worry about.

Worry, worry, worry. If one word could be used to sum up Spike's personality, it would have to be worry.

Spike walked down the small gravel path that led to Ponyville. The small restaurant in which he and Dash had their date was situated on a small hill, just on the outskirts of the town, presenting an excellent view of the tops of buildings and of wandering ponies. The sky loomed above, what few clouds there were faint enough to see the stars beyond. The aura of the night felt sweet and surreal.

Times likes these always captured Spike in a way that few times did, but the mare sitting on the cliff, her back turned to him and the strands of her colorful mane billowing in the wind—the mare always managed to capture his heart every time. So it was of little surprised that he was clutching his chest when he approached the same cliff.

"Rainbow?" Spike said, stepping towards the mare. "What are you...what are you doing?"

Rainbow said nothing. She patted the cool grass next to her.

Spike gulped, stepped forward, and sat down next to her. Their legs dangled over the cliff, the wind chilling their bodies, and overall helping the drake to take the deep breaths needed to settle his body and mind. He had no idea what to do, what to say or how to act, so he fidgeted in place and awaited further orders.

"Uh, Rainbow?" Spike said, rubbing his arm. "Is there something we're supposed to be looking at or—"

Rainbow pointed a hoof at the sky.

Spike looked up, searching the horizon for something, anything that could explain current events. But he found nothing, other than a town beginning to retire for the night, and a sky that he could stare at forever.

"Hard to believe it's only been two weeks," Rainbow finally broke the silence, earning the gaze of the drake, but hers was still spent in the sky. "Y'know, if I try really hard, I can still see both of us up there. You were falling from your balloon and me saving your scaly butt." She sighed, a smile gracing her lips. "I hadn't had that much fun since flight-camp." She looked at him, her expression somewhat sad. "Do you know why?"

Spike did not trust his voice, so he slowly shook his head.

"Because you were so unpredictable," she said, smiling. "Most things can be solved by punching harder or flying faster, that's always been my motto. But you?" She scooted closer to him, their flanks touching. "You were just weird, plain and simple. Not even Twilight could figure out what you could do next, and that's what made you awesome in my eyes."

Spike dug his claw into the dirt and clutched it hard. His heart hammered against his chest, both in joy at the praise and pain at it being misplaced. Her cyan fur on his purple scales sending a shiver up his spine. He wanted nothing more than to return her embrace, but he knew it wasn't right to do so.

It wouldn't be right to let this go on for much longer.

"Most ponies would go crazy, cruel, or just plain disgusting with revealing their innermost selves. When you stop caring, it doesn't make you into someone else; it just reveals who you really are." Rainbow leaned her head on his shoulder, looking up into his eyes. "And I like who you are. If you shed that insecurity and doubt you could be so much more, and I'm just the mare to help you do that."

Rainbow's cheek brushed against his scales, nuzzling them as she rose up along his neck. Spike looked around out of fear of being watched but found no one else around. He hoped she couldn't feel him shivering.

"I made a promise to Celestia," Rainbow said from under his chin, kissing there softly. "That I'd stick with you even if you returned to normal. I told her I would, and I also told her I'd make you better." Finally and hauntingly, she rose her muzzle up to his, pressing their snouts together. They looked into each other's eyes, one full of determination, and the other looking as though they were about to cry.

"I wanna help you, Spike," she said, bringing her lips closer to his. He'd never been so close to a mare before, and never had he been so terrified. World ending scenarios, as scary as they are, were always in the hooves of Twilight to solve. But this? The mare that wanted to be his? The power was in his claws, and he always trusted them to be clumsy. "But if you don't want me inside that head of yours, then there's not much I can do."

Spike felt her breath on his lips, the heat of her blush awash on his scales. He dug his claw deeper into the dirt of grass summoning all of his will to do what he needed to do. He parted his lips just as hers came in for the kill, but before he could have his first kiss, he turned his head away instead.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Dash." Spike shuffled away from her. Dash yelped, surprised at suddenly having to carry her weight. She looked at him confused, but he refused to meet her gaze. "But I can't do this." He shook his head. "I can't let you do this."

"Do what?!"

"Carry me!" Spike said, feeling his eyes beginning to burn. "All this time, from the moment this all started, you've been carrying me! I thought I could get better, that I could stop being...whatever I am and maybe even carry you!" He crossed his arms and sulked. "But all I've done is drag you down to my level. I try so hard to say the right things, do everything I can to make you happy, but the only reason you're unhappy is that you're with me!"

Spike clenched his eyes to hold back his tears. It hurt. Everything hurt. He knew it would, but he could never expect the agony that came from having his heart break apart.

"You're everything I could want in a mare," he said, wiping below his eyes, then opening them. "And I'm nothing you'd want in a dragon." He chuckled and did not know why. "It's only natural we end it here, y'know, before you could make a mistake you'd regret."

"Do you think I regret this?" Rainbow said, rising. "That dating you was some mistake I was too foolish to see? You've just been a drag that my life would be much better without?"

Spike couldn't bear to look back at her, so he nodded.

"Well, it's not!" Rainbow shouted. "You keep going off on how great I am like I've never made mistakes before! Trust me, dating you isn't one of them, and never will be. Thinking you could become that dragon you wanted to be wasn't a mistake either, though I doubt you'll be able to think otherwise."

Spike clutched his next breath, his claw clenching its hardest. He couldn't half-bake this; this had to be a clean break up.

"I'm never going to be like that again, Rainbow!" Spike stood up as well, refusing still to look back at her. "Not caring and doing as I pleased. I'll admit, I got a lot of things I worried about done, but not caring also hurt Twilight, it hurt a lot of ponies going about their day, and most importantly of all, it gave you the false impression that I could ever be the drake you want me to be."

Spike finally turned around, offering the mare a soft smile. "I'll be your friend, your listening ear, but I always seem to mess up trying to be anything more than what I am. I'm not going to drag you down from greatness just because I'm this way."

He held his claw out. "So, how about it? Friends again?"

Rainbow walked up to him, never breaking eye contact.

"Best friends?" he tried again.

Rainbow raised a hoof to his claw, and before he could grab it, he felt it smack across his cheek. He was looking left and breathless, and before he could look back to her, a pair of lips kissed the burning sensation.

Spike looked down at her. Dash had her eyes closed, lips pressed fully against his cheek, and he could feel her every emotion. He felt happy and sad, conflicted and pissed, with no way to express the complexities.

"You are so wrong, Spike." Rainbow pulled back from the kiss, looking up at him with an expression of defeat. "You're just as great and as unique as you claim me to be. But if you refuse to see that, then I guess there really is nothing I can do for you."

Rainbow unfurled her wings and turned away, not even looking back as she broke into a trot. "Guess I'll see you around, best friend."

Spike kept holding out his claw, even as she took flight into the sky and disappeared beyond the clouds. He rose his claws up into the air, reaching out for that which he once had, which he wanted to be, knowing full well he could never close that distance between them.

Spike sighed, and without a word, began the long trek home, alone.





YOUR PURPOSE HERE IS TO RESURRECT YOUR DEAD RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS MARE?

Spike shook his head, ripped from the stream of memoirs. "What? No! It was my choice to end the relationship, and I'd be a hypocrite to seek Death to fix that mistake."

SO YOU ARE NOT HERE BECAUSE OF HER?

"No!" Spike blinked. "Well, maybe... in a kinda roundabout way?”

Death simply stared at the dragon before him.

“It's a long story, okay!"

IS THERE ANY WAY TO MAKE THIS STORY SHORTER?

"Maybe in the second draft," Spike replied. "But it's probably for the best you know all the details. It could help explain, uh, a future workload."

Something rang throughout Death's domain. The owner—in case you forgot—the embodiment of Death, rose up from his chair. He snapped his bony fingers, made a cabinet of nothing but wooden shelves appear, and peered at the numerous hourglasses lining them. Each one made a sporadic and peculiar ding, and after each one sounded, the sand inside began pouring just a little bit faster.

YOU! Death turned around, and if he had a shadow, it would have blanketed over the sitting dragon. He held up an hourglass at random, though they were all white and pouring at the same speed.  TELL ME, COULD YOU EXPLAIN WHY ALL THESE HOURGLASSES ARE WHITE?

"Uh, no?" Spike replied, fidgeting in their seat. "But, if I had to guess, it has to do with the griffons?"

SO YOU ARE BEHIND THIS! Before Death could go on, more of the same hourglasses began pouring into the room. There were no clouds, and yet, it was raining hourglasses.

Spike felt like singing a spoof of a popular song, but that idea was banged out of his by being hit by numerous hourglasses. No matter where he went or what he did, absurdity just followed him wherever he went.

THIS WAS NOT IN FATE'S PLAN, said Death, holding his hands over his head. SHE WILL BE MOST DISPLEASED UPON HEARING OF THIS. THERE WILL BE MORE WORK BECAUSE OF THIS!

"Would it help if I said the rest of my story could answer your question?" Spike offered with a guilty smile. He held his claws over his head as well, but the weight of the hourglasses made his knuckles bang into his scalp. "Maybe even save you some work? Maybe even your bony butt?"

Death glared at him, which translated to a supernova blowing up in the glow of his eyes.

Spike had a heart attack, came back, had another heart attack, came back once more, and acquired Nirvana: don't talk shit to Death. With his higher state of being, the drake sat perfectly still and waited.

YOU WILL EXPLAIN THE EVENTS OF THE DAY, AND ONLY THE ONES THAT MATTER TO PRESENT EVENTS. Death took a seat back at his desk, and snapping his fingers; the falling hourglasses glided away from him. YOU HAVE ME HOOKED OUT OF INTEREST AND OBLIGATION. DON'T MAKE ME LOSE INTEREST, OR YOU WILL LOSE YOUR LIFE.

"That's a few boxes checked from the books on writing that Twilight has," Spike said to himself, growing used to being belted by hourglasses. "The hook, a conflict, and a price. Is there anything else I'm missing?"

YES. YOUR AUDIENCE’S PATIENCE.

"Riiight. So the day that fired off this whole mess. It was a sunny morning when I awoke, but all was not peaceful in Ponyville when—"

SHOW, DON'T TELL, DIPSHIT.

"....right. Cue convenient page break?"





“My my, is that my darling?” Spike looked up from the trail, blinking as he was now at the heart of Ponyville. Sitting on the rim of a nearby water-fountain was Rarity. “You look so downtrodden. Bad date?”

Spike walked past her. “Go away, Rarity.”

“So it was a bad date after all!’ Rarity followed after him, her hoofsteps clopping into the air. “It’s a shame, really, as friends in love warm my heart. You should be glad to hear that my date when smashingly.”

Spike rolled his eyes. She now walked next to him.

“He was a prince if I’d ever seen one, taller and stronger than yourself, with a tongue of such eloquence." Rarity moaned.

“At least I have the longer tongue,” Spike shot back, his voice tired. Even still, he chuckled the connotation of his joke.

“My, feeling inferior? Your date must of have really gone sour.” Rarity leaned in close, grinning in superiority over the drake who’d reject her. “You can share the details with me. Even if you two broke up, my, you can trust me to tell no one else.”

Spike grumbled and picked up the pace. “Go. Away. Rarity.”

Rarity stopped, watching the drake disappear. She pressed a hoof against her chin. “No...they couldn’t have.’

She gazed up into the night sky, letting her mind process the possibility process, smiling upon coming to a favorable conclusion. “Now, doesn’t this change a few things? Spikey, you broke my heart when you rejected me.”

Rarity looked down the trail the drake had gone, now grinning with delight. “Now let’s see what I can do with that broken heart of yours.”

She made her way home, letting a plan fester in her head.





Since the day he had stopped caring, Spike was given his own room. He was given his room for a few reasons. First, it was because he now stood on equal footing on the grounds of maturity—one last lie he was able to squeeze out before the spell had worn off. Second, because of his convenient growth spurt, he needed his bed, for which one was put in the basement. And last, but the most important, late at night one time, Twilight had woken up to strange noises coming from his basket. She approached it silently, and, in pulling his basket, she became horrified at the embarrassing sight she hoped to avoid with the drake.

Spike looked up at her, face full of surprise and shame, his right claw suddenly clenching from his toy. He had these strange feelings for the past week, and only recently had he found an outlet for pouring them out. He kept as quiet as he could during these times, but sometimes the excitement of the moment was too much to bear, and he couldn't help but make a few sounds.

"Spike..." Twilight backed away from the basket, slowly shaking her head. "I raised you better than this!"

"Twilight, I can explain!"

Twilight became still. "There's no explaining this. So this is why the comic store was low in their secret stash."

"I swear, I'm not a narcissist!" Spike cried, rolling out of his bed with a thud. He rose up. "I just really like her, but I have trouble expressing my feelings sometimes. It's better doing this than something I may regret, y'know?"

"But this, Spike!" Twilight said, stepping forward, her voice full of concern. "Surely it's better to act towards your marefriend than to resort to something like this!"

"It's not, Twilight," he said, his voice now tired. He bowed forward, picking up both of his toys, admiring them so. "By playing pretend, I can get out what I feel, and see what her responses may be."

"But, Spike, you're playing with dolls!"

Spike held the figure of himself and the figure of Rainbow Dash high up in the moonlight. "They're action figures!"





SPIKE. WRONG DAY.

"Oh, right." Spike scratched the back of his head, smiling. "Rewind!"





Spike sat in the basement of the library, his favorite place in the world both happy and the sad, though he found himself mostly the latter. No light entered from outside, it was nice and cool no matter the day, and best of all, he had a lock on the door to keep everyone else out.

Empty buckets of ice-cream stood around his bed. The sound of a straw emptying a large cup echoed through the subterranean room. Without looking away from the task at hand, Spike set the cup—dripping with watery condensation—upon a book laying on the bedside table. Somewhere nearby, Twilight felt a twinge in the back of her neck.

The owner of the room laid back on the bed, comic held between his claws. Now that he didn't have any higher ambition for life or a marefriend to love, he could finally catch up on the pile of comic books hidden underneath his bed.

Spike sighed, flipping to the next page. Light music played from the record-player across the room, the same depressing album over and over, because it made sense to play sad music when you're sad instead of playing happy music in a futile attempt to make you happy. That, and because he was also lazy, and the stopping of his daily job meant that just getting out of bed meant work, and he wanted to avoid work for as long as possible.

Spike sighed again, but for the sake of avoiding repetition, he let the comic drop on his chest. He'd gotten half-way through the comic, but if he was honest, he wasn't really reading as just indulging in his sad thoughts. If he could grow facial ‘hair’, Spike would have developed a beard just to show his sadness, but because of his inability to do so, he got his sadness across by being a moody cunt.

A knocking came from the door at the top of the staircase.

"Go away, Twilight," Spike said, too lazy to bring himself to yell. "I told you I wanted a few days alone, and two days doesn't count as a few." His eyes narrowed. "Okay, maybe it does, but I'm going to need more than a few days, alright?"

A brilliant flash of purple enveloped the basement.

Spike sighed at the Princess towering over his bed. "Y'know, locks and privacy kinda become irrelevant when you just teleport. Hard to believe I had my independence, that I'm now my own drake when you can, ya know, just teleport into my space whenever you please."

"I know, I know," Twilight panted out, cracking out her back. "It's just, we've been out all day looking for Rainbow, but no one has seen her."

Spike frowned. For whatever reason, he found relief in that his ex-marefriend was taking this as badly as he was. But that thought just reminded him that there was, indeed, a connection between them, and made him feel even sadder.

"Now, you said that you didn't want to talk about whatever happened between you," Twilight said, igniting her horn and pulling a letter from her mane. She floated it into the drake's claws, who quickly opened the already open letter. "But this is important enough to warrant the intrusion. Please, just read the letter."

“I don’t know, Twilight.” Spike rose the letter to his eyes. “After what happened, I don’t want anything to do with Rainbow…” His eyes scanned the text.



Rainbow Dash:

This is a formal notice of your duty under our cadet's program. After reviewing your test scores and performance results, we would like to introduce you to our training program. The ability to survive training will permit you into the academy, which then leads to a spot on the team.

There are limited spots in the program. Please report in pony to Cloudsdale to accept or deny the request before spots are taken.

– Captain Spitfire



Spike's claws trembled as he read the note. Try as he might to stop them, tears leaked from his eyes the moment he finished reading the letter. He shivered with delight and his lips stretched into an unprecedented smile.

"Twilight, do you know what this means!" Spike said, leaping out of his bed with ease. He gripped her by the shoulders and shook her with the excitement he felt. "She did it! She finally did it! Of course Rainbow could do it, but now the Wonderbolts see that she can do it! This is perfect!"

Twilight was confused; then she was happy and began to giggle as well. "Yes, Spike it's great news! Glad it finally got you out of bed."

Spike stopped moving, realizing his body now felt light and his heart no longer heavy. Just like that, the happiness he felt for his friend infected him, and despite all that had happened, he couldn't wait to break the news to Dash. "So what did Rainbow say? She's going to say yes, right?'

"I'd think she'd say yes to the thing she trained her whole life for," Twilight replied, pulling back from his claws. "Issue is, the Wonderbolts want her to do this, but when they sent a spokes-pony to her home, nopony opened the door. They ended up contacting me; it's why I have the letter."

Spike's mouth went agape. "You mean she doesn't know?!"

"No," Twilight shook her head, her face losing its joy. "And that's what has me worried. Apparently, she hasn't been home for a few days, and nopony else has seen her. In fact, your last date was the last time she was seen."

Spike's face lost its joy as well.

Twilight opened her mouth, about to utter something, but she quickly caught her tongue. She thought long and hard about what she was about to say, coming to sigh after a few moments, and lifting a hoof to rest on her assistant's shoulders. "Look, Spike, I know the last time that I didn't respect your space, you jumped out of a window and made mayhem in Ponyville. Were this any other time, I'd wait for you to be ready and listen, just as you would do for me."

Spike laid his claw on her hoof, squeezing it slightly. "I know, but Rainbow Dash..."

She nodded. He sighed.

"To be honest, I know why she's missing," he said, looking away out of shame. "Our last date was just that: our last date. I, uh, kinda broke up with Rainbow Dash."

"WHAT?!"





SHE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DO THAT, said Death. ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT. PLEASE DON'T BREAK CONSISTENCY.

"Jeez, sorry," Spike said, rolling his eyes. "Okay."





"What?!"

"I—uh...I broke up with Rainbow?"

Twilight's hooves slammed down on the drake's shoulders, using him to support her body as she reared up on her hind legs. She growled into his face. "What do you mean you broke up with Rainbow Dash!?"

Spike gulped. He didn't expect a reaction like this from Twilight of all ponies. "Well, I uh, felt like I was dragging her down, so I figured it'd be best to break it off. So nothing was holding her back."

"And she was okay with this?!"

"Well," Spike looked up in thought, remembering both the smack and smooch. "She wasn’t not okay with it, I think."

Twilight glared. "Spike, she liked you."

"And I like her!" Spike replied. "It's just, I wasn't good enough for her, alright?!"

"By whose standard?"

"My own!"

Twilight sighed, falling to all four hooves. "Celestia, Spike! If I'd known the situation was this bad, I would have checked up on you sooner. What made you think that was a good idea?"

Spike sighed as well, sitting on his bed, head hung low. "I already told you, I wasn't good enough for her. I didn't know what to say or do, and I felt like I was messing up her life with every mistake I made!" He looked up, staring into Twilight's concerned gaze. "She was just too good for me, okay? I couldn't be like the drake she liked again, and it just felt like I was just wasting her time."

"Spike...do you really think that?" Twilight said quietly, her head low and ears folded down. "That Rainbow is better than you? That you had to be something more in order to be worthy of her love? That you always had to do right to be a worthy drakefriend?"

Spike opened his mouth, trying to find the words that spoke of how right she was, but he found that his throat failed him. So he sighed, nodded his head, and waited for whatever came next.

"You, of all ponies and dragons, should know Rainbow better than that." Twilight walked to the bed, sitting next to him on the mattress. "Rainbow wouldn't have taken you on as a charity case. Even if you're not exactly the drake she liked, she still laughed all the same. She liked you, no matter what Spike you were."

He sighed. A moment later, he felt a wing wrap around his torso.

"Guess I messed up big time," Spike muttered, letting his face drop into his claw.

"You're just scared and confused, Spike," Twilight said, scooting so that their bodies touched. She leaned her head on his shoulder. "You did what you thought was right, but you could have done it just a tad better. We can make things right again; we just have to find Rainbow Dash."

Spike wrapped an arm around Twilight, relying on her embrace to give him strength. "I want to find her too, to make sure she's safe and gets the news, but I’m going straight home after that.” He sighed. “I doubt we'll ever get back together. I'm not even sure what I want anymore."

Twilight hugged the drake fully, and he did the same, just holding each other close. They kept like this for some time, before finally separating.

"You don't have to get back together," Twilight said, pulling away from the embrace. "But you should make things right with her before the situation gets worse." She stood up from the bed, levitating the letter back inside her mane. She looked back at him. "Do you think you could help look or do you need some more time alone?"

Spike groaned, closing his eyes. "No. I've spent enough time brooding. About time I got outside and do something useful."

"That's what I like to hear!" Twilight said, slapping a hoof into his side. "If you can, try to talk to all of our friends to see if they've seen them. I'll scout Cloudsdale and areas you can't reach to see if she's hiding away, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan, Twi." Spike stood tall, feeling his blood begin to pump at the prospect of adventure. He was still at odds with himself, but at least helping find Dash would take his mind off stuff and repair a bridge. "I'm sure she's probably just holed up at some pizza joint or something. She likes pizza and milkshakes when she's sad."

"Uh-huh." Twilight gazed past him to the milkshake set atop the book and cringed. She looked back at him. "And you two broke up because...?"

"Because I care too much about stuff that doesn't matter?"

"Riiight."

Twilight turned to teleport but felt as though she needed to say one more thing. "Hey, Spike?"

He was heading towards the staircase when her voice stopped him. He stopped and turned around, "Yeah?"

"You know, once this is all over, you can talk to me about whatever, right?" Twilight said, ceasing the magic from her horn. "I won't ever judge you for anything you say, and I'll try to help the best I can."

"I know, Twilight," Spike said with a tone of uncertainty. "I'd do the same for you."

"It's just..." Twilight struggled to find the words. "I...I wish you would trust me with whatever bothering you more often. You're my friend, my best friend, and I'd rather you talk to me first before deciding to break up with your marefriend."

Spike sighed and closed his eyes. "You're right. I just...I don't know."

Twilight nodded her head, then looked away. "Okay."

The two were supposed to leave, yet neither moved. Spike looked as if he was waiting for her to go first before he could do the same, so he stood there, waiting for the mare to do or say something.

"And, another thing, Spike."

"Yes?"

"One of my potions went missing the other day," Twilight said, her tone careful. "It was to induce the same effect my spell had on you, the one that made you stop caring. You didn't; I don't know, maybe borrow the wrong one by accident?"

"Sorry, Twilight." Spike hopped up a few steps. "But my count of your potions was accurate the last inventory check. Maybe you made less than you thought?"

"Maybe," Twilight replied, lighting up her horn. "I'm off. Be safe, okay?"

"You as well."

And in a flash, Twilight was gone.

Spike stood on the staircase for a few moments, waiting and thinking, and once he felt like the air was clear and there would be no intrusions, he went back down the stairs. He went to the book, lifting off the milkshake and opening the book. The thick pages were cut out in the middle, allowing for a small vial to be hidden.

He took it out, holding the blue liquid to the light. He then lowered it, popping off the cap and holding it to his lips. He inhaled deeply, the rich lavender scent. He pressed the vial against his lips, which were as dry as his throat, and he wanted nothing more than to down the contents.

But try as he might, Spike couldn't drink the liquid. He put the cap back on, put it back in his pocket, and went to the staircase. He left his bedroom despite not wanting to, he then left the library despite not wanting to, and went outside, only because he wanted to find Rainbow Dash.



The morning sun greeted him.